TED2008
Helen Fisher: The brain in love
Helen Fisher preučuje zaljubljene možgane
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Zakaj tako močno hrepenimo po ljubezni, da bi tudi umrli zanjo? Da bi izvedeli več o naši telesni potrebi po romantični ljubezni, je Helen Fisher s svojo raziskovalno skupino uporabila MRI pri zaljubljenih osebah in osebah, ki jih je partner zapustil pred kratkim.
Helen Fisher - Anthropologist, expert on love
Anthropologist Helen Fisher studies gender differences and the evolution of human emotions. She’s best known as an expert on romantic love. Full bio
Anthropologist Helen Fisher studies gender differences and the evolution of human emotions. She’s best known as an expert on romantic love. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:19
I and my colleagues Art Aron and Lucy Brown and others,
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Z Artom Aronom, Lucy Brown in drugimi kolegi
00:22
have put 37 people who are madly in love
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smo 37 noro zaljubljenim osebam
00:24
into a functional MRI brain scanner.
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slikali možgane s funkcijsko magnetno resonanco.
00:27
17 who were happily in love, 15 who had just been dumped,
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17 srečno zaljubljenih in 15 nesrečno zaljubljenih oseb.
00:30
and we're just starting our third experiment:
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Začenjamo s tretjim eksperimentom.
00:33
studying people who report that they're still in love
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Preučujemo osebe, ki pravijo, da so še vedno zaljubljene
00:35
after 10 to 25 years of marriage.
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po 10 do 25 letih zakona.
00:38
So, this is the short story of that research.
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To so rezultati raziskave.
00:41
In the jungles of Guatemala, in Tikal, stands a temple.
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V džungli Guatemale, v Tikalu, je tempelj.
00:47
It was built by the grandest Sun King,
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Zgradil ga je Sončni Kralj
00:49
of the grandest city-state,
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v starodavnem mestu
00:52
of the grandest civilization of the Americas, the Mayas.
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starodavne ameriške civilizacije Majev.
00:55
His name was Jasaw Chan K'awiil.
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Ime mu je bilo Jasaw Chan K'awiil.
00:59
He stood over six feet tall.
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Visok je bil več kot 180 cm.
01:01
He lived into his 80s,
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Živel je več kot 80 let.
01:03
and he was buried beneath this monument in 720 AD.
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Po smrti leta 720 n. št. so ga pokopali v grobnici.
01:08
And Mayan inscriptions proclaim
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Majevski zapisi pravijo,
01:10
that he was deeply in love with his wife.
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da je kralj globoko ljubil svojo ženo.
01:11
So, he built a temple in her honor, facing his.
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V njeno čast je zgradil tempelj nasproti njegovemu.
01:16
And every spring and autumn, exactly at the equinox,
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Vsako pomlad in jesen, točno na enakonočje,
01:19
the sun rises behind his temple,
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vzide sonce za njegovim templjem
01:22
and perfectly bathes her temple with his shadow.
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in meče senco na njen tempelj.
01:27
And as the sun sets behind her temple in the afternoon,
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Ko sonce zaide za njen tempelj,
01:31
it perfectly bathes his temple with her shadow.
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meče senco na njegov tempelj.
01:34
After 1,300 years, these two lovers
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Po 1300 letih se ljubimca
01:38
still touch and kiss from their tomb.
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še vedno poljubljata iz grobnic.
01:41
Around the world, people love.
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Ljudje po svetu ljubijo.
01:44
They sing for love, they dance for love,
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Pojejo za ljubezen, plešejo za ljubezen,
01:47
they compose poems and stories about love.
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pišejo pesmi in zgodbe o ljubezni.
01:50
They tell myths and legends about love.
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Pripovedujejo mite in legende o ljubezni.
01:52
They pine for love, they live for love,
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Hrepenijo po ljubezni, živijo za ljubezen,
01:56
they kill for love, and they die for love.
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ubijajo za ljubezen, umirajo za ljubezen.
01:58
As Walt Whitman once said,
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Walt Whitman je enkrat rekel,
02:00
he said, "Oh, I would stake all for you."
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zate bi dal vse.
02:03
Anthropologists have found evidence of romantic love in 170 societies.
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Antropologi so našli dokaze o romantični ljubezni v 170 kulturah.
02:08
They've never found a society that did not have it.
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Nikoli niso našli kulture, ki je ne bi imela.
02:11
But love isn't always a happy experience.
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Ljubezen ni vedno srečna.
02:14
In one study of college students,
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Pri raziskavi med študenti
02:16
they asked a lot of questions about love,
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so postavljali veliko vprašanj o ljubezni.
02:18
but the two that stood out to me the most were,
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Dve vprašanji sta mi ostali najbolj v spominu.
02:21
"Have you ever been rejected by somebody who you really loved?"
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Vas je kdaj zavrnila oseba, ki ste jo resnično ljubili?
02:26
And the second question was,
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Drugo vprašanje pa je bilo,
02:27
"Have you ever dumped somebody who really loved you?"
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ste kdaj zavrnili osebo, ki vas je resnično ljubila?
02:31
And almost 95 percent of both men and women said yes to both.
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Skoraj 95 % moških in žensk je odgovorilo pritrdilno na obe vprašanji.
02:36
Almost nobody gets out of love alive.
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Skoraj nihče ne uide ljubezni živ.
02:40
So, before I start telling you about the brain,
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Preden začnem govoriti o možganih,
02:43
I want to read for you
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vam želim prebrati
02:45
what I think is the most powerful love poem on Earth.
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najmočnejšo ljubezensko pesem na svetu.
02:48
There's other love poems that are, of course, just as good,
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Druge ljubezenske pesmi so seveda lahko prav tako dobre,
02:50
but I don't think this one can be surpassed.
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a te pesmi ne prekašajo.
02:52
It was told by an anonymous Kwakiutl Indian of southern Alaska
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Pesem je povedal anonimen kwakutlski Indijanec iz južne Aljaske
02:58
to a missionary in 1896, and here it is.
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nekemu misijonarju leta 1896.
03:02
I've never had the opportunity to say it before.
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Nisem še imela priložnosti, da bi jo prebrala.
03:06
"Fire runs through my body with the pain of loving you.
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V mojem telesu gori ogenj bolečine, ker te ljubim.
03:09
Pain runs through my body with the fires of my love for you.
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Moje telo prebada bolečina ognja ljubezni, ki jo čutim do tebe.
03:14
Pain like a boil about to burst with my love for you,
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Bolečina, ki jo bo pravkar razneslo od ljubezni do tebe,
03:17
consumed by fire with my love for you.
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ki jo požira ogenj moje ljubezni.
03:21
I remember what you said to me.
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Spomnim se, kaj si mi rekla.
03:23
I am thinking of your love for me.
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Premišljujem o tvoji ljubezni do mene.
03:25
I am torn by your love for me.
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Zaradi tvoje ljubezni sem razpeta.
03:27
Pain and more pain --
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Bolečina, še več bolečine,
03:30
where are you going with my love?
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kam greš z mojo ljubeznijo?
03:31
I am told you will go from here.
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Slišal sem, da odhajaš.
03:34
I am told you will leave me here.
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Slišal sem, da me boš zapustila.
03:35
My body is numb with grief.
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Moje telo je otopelo od žalosti.
03:38
Remember what I said, my love.
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Se spomniš, kaj sem ti rekel, ljubezen moja.
03:40
Goodbye, my love, goodbye."
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Zbogom, ljubezen moja, zbogom.
03:44
Emily Dickinson once wrote,
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Emily Dickinson je enkrat napisala,
03:46
"Parting is all we need to know of hell."
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ločitev je vse, kar moramo vedeti o peklu.
03:50
How many people have suffered
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Koliko ljudi je že trpelo
03:52
in all the millions of years of human evolution?
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v vseh milijonih let človeške evolucije?
03:56
How many people around the world
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Koliko ljudi na svetu
03:58
are dancing with elation at this very minute?
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pleše od sreče v tem trenutku?
04:02
Romantic love is one of the most powerful sensations on Earth.
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Romantična ljubezen je eno največjih čustev na Zemlji.
04:05
So, several years ago, I decided to look into the brain
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Pred nekaj leti sem se odločila pogledati v možgane
04:09
and study this madness.
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in preučiti to norost.
04:13
Our first study of people who were happily in love
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Prva raziskava med srečno zaljubljenimi osebami
04:15
has been widely publicized,
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je bila objavljena v javnosti.
04:16
so I'm only going to say a very little about it.
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Zato bom o njej povedala malo.
04:19
We found activity in a tiny, little factory near the base of the brain
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Našli smo dejavnost v majceni tovarni blizu središča možganov,
04:23
called the ventral tegmental area.
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ki ga imenujemo ventralno tegmentalno področje.
04:25
We found activity in some cells called the A10 cells,
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Našli smo dejavnost v ApEn-celicah.
04:28
cells that actually make dopamine, a natural stimulant,
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Te celice proizvajajo dopamin, naravni stimulant,
04:31
and spray it to many brain regions.
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in ga raznašajo v druge možganske dele.
04:33
Indeed, this part, the VTA, is part of the brain's reward system.
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Ta del možganov je del možganskega sistema za nagrajevanje
04:37
It's way below your cognitive thinking process.
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ki je precej oddaljen od kognitivnih miselnih procesov.
04:40
It's below your emotions.
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Oddaljen je tudi od vaših čustev
04:42
It's part of what we call the reptilian core of the brain,
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Ta del možganov sodi v središče, ki ga imenujemo tudi plazilski del možganov
04:45
associated with wanting, with motivation,
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ki je povezano s hotenjem, motivacijo,
04:48
with focus and with craving.
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osredotočenostjo in hrepenenjem.
04:50
In fact, the same brain region where we found activity
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Možgansko področje, kjer smo našli aktivnost,
04:53
becomes active also when you feel the rush of cocaine.
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postane aktivno tudi, ko vzamete kokain.
04:57
But romantic love is much more than a cocaine high --
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A romantična ljubezen je več kot zadetost s kokainom.
05:00
at least you come down from cocaine.
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Vpliv kokaina kmalu mine.
05:03
Romantic love is an obsession. It possesses you.
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Romantična ljubezen pa je obsedenost. Obvladuje nas.
05:06
You lose your sense of self.
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Izgubimo nadzor nad sabo.
05:07
You can't stop thinking about another human being.
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Ne moremo nehati razmišljati o tej osebi.
05:11
Somebody is camping in your head.
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Nekdo tabori v naši glavi.
05:13
As an eighth-century Japanese poet said,
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Japonski pesnik iz 8. stoletja je rekel,
05:16
"My longing had no time when it ceases."
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hrepenenje se nikoli ne konča.
05:19
Wild is love.
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Ljubezen je divja.
05:22
And the obsession can get worse when you've been rejected.
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Obsedenost se lahko poslabša, če vas ljubljeni zavrne.
05:25
So, right now, Lucy Brown and I, the neuroscientist on our project,
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Trenutno z Lucy Brown, nevroznanstvenico pri našem projektu,
05:30
are looking at the data of the people
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pregledujeva podatke o osebah,
05:32
who were put into the machine after they had just been dumped.
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ki smo jih slikali takoj zatem, ko jih je partner zapustil.
05:36
It was very difficult actually,
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Težko jih je bilo
05:38
putting these people in the machine,
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spraviti v stroj,
05:39
because they were in such bad shape.
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ker so bili kot kupi nesreče.
05:40
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
05:45
So anyway, we found activity in three brain regions.
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Našli smo aktivnost v treh delih možganov.
05:47
We found activity in the brain region,
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Našli smo aktivnost v možganskem delu,
05:50
in exactly the same brain region
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v istem možganskem delu,
05:52
associated with intense romantic love.
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ki je povezan z močno romatično ljubeznijo.
05:54
What a bad deal.
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Kakšna škoda.
05:56
You know, when you've been dumped,
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Ko vas partner zapusti,
05:58
the one thing you love to do is just forget about this human being,
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hočete pozabiti na to osebo
06:00
and then go on with your life --
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in živeti naprej.
06:01
but no, you just love them harder.
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Ampak ne, ljubite jih še bolj.
06:04
As the poet Terence, the Roman poet once said,
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Rimski pesnik Terentius je enkrat rekel,
06:09
he said, "The less my hope, the hotter my love."
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manjše kot je upanje, bolj vroča je moja ljubezen.
06:11
And indeed, we now know why.
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Zdaj vemo, zakaj je tako.
06:14
Two thousand years later, we can explain this in the brain.
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Po 2000 letih smo našli razlago v možganih.
06:17
That brain system -- the reward system
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Možganski sistem za nagrajevanje
06:20
for wanting, for motivation, for craving, for focus --
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za hotenje, motivacijo, hrepenje in osredotočenost
06:24
becomes more active when you can't get what you want.
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postane dejavnejši, ko ne dobite tistega, kar hočete.
06:27
In this case, life's greatest prize:
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V tem primeru, največjo življenjsko nagrado
06:29
an appropriate mating partner.
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primernega partnerja.
06:32
We found activity in other brain regions also --
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Našli smo aktivnosti tudi v drugih možganskih delih.
06:34
in a brain region associated with calculating gains and losses.
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V možganskem delu, ki preračunava pridobitve in izgube.
06:39
You know, you're lying there, you're looking at the picture,
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Ležite tam, gledate sliko,
06:41
and you're in this machine,
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ste v tem stroju.
06:42
and you're calculating, you know, what went wrong.
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In premišljujete, kaj je šlo narobe.
06:46
How, you know, what have I lost?
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Kako, veste, kaj ste izgubili?
06:48
As a matter of fact, Lucy and I have a little joke about this.
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Z Lucy imava šalo na račun tega.
06:51
It comes from a David Mamet play,
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ki izvira iz dramske igre Davida Mameta.
06:55
and there's two con artists in the play,
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V igri nastopata dva prevaranta.
06:56
and the woman is conning the man,
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Ženska poskuša nalagati moškega.
06:59
and the man looks at the woman and says,
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Moški jo pogleda in reče,
07:00
"Oh, you're a bad pony, I'm not going to bet on you."
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slab konj si. Nate ne bom stavil.
07:06
And indeed, it's this part of the brain,
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Ta del možganov
07:08
the core of the nucleus accumbens, actually, that is becoming active
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postane aktiven,
07:11
as you're measuring your gains and losses.
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ko preračunavate svoje pridobitve in izgube.
07:13
It's also the brain region that becomes active
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Aktiven postane tudi
07:16
when you're willing to take enormous risks
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ko ste pripravljeni tvegati
07:18
for huge gains and huge losses.
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za velike pridobitve in velike izgube.
07:21
Last but not least, we found activity in a brain region
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Poleg tega smo našli aktivnost v delu možganov,
07:24
associated with deep attachment to another individual.
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ki je povezan z globoko navezanostjo na drugo osebo.
07:29
No wonder people suffer around the world,
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Ni čudno, da ljudje trpijo po vsem svetu
07:33
and we have so many crimes of passion.
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in da je toliko zločinov iz strasti.
07:36
When you've been rejected in love,
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Ko ste zavrnjeni v ljubezni,
07:37
not only are you engulfed with feelings of romantic love,
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niste le prežeti s čustvi romantične ljubezni,
07:41
but you're feeling deep attachment to this individual.
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poleg tega čutite globoko navezanost na to osebo.
07:44
Moreover, this brain circuit for reward is working,
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Poleg tega je aktiven tudi del možganov,
07:47
and you're feeling intense energy, intense focus,
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ki vas napolni z energijo, močno osredotočenostjo,
07:51
intense motivation and the willingness to risk it all
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motivacijo in pripravljenostjo, da tvegate vse
07:55
to win life's greatest prize.
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za največjo življenjsko nagrado.
07:59
So, what have I learned from this experiment
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Kaj sem se naučila pri tej raziskavi,
08:02
that I would like to tell the world?
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kar bi rada delila s svetom?
08:04
Foremost, I have come to think
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Pomislila sem,
08:06
that romantic love is a drive, a basic mating drive.
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da je romantična ljubezen gon, osnovna potreba po parjenju.
08:09
Not the sex drive -- the sex drive gets you out there,
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Ne potreba po spolnosti sami - zaradi te potrebe greste ven
08:11
looking for a whole range of partners.
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in iščete celo vrsto možnih partnerjev.
08:13
Romantic love enables you to focus your mating energy
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Romantična ljubezen vam omogoča, da svojo erotično energijo osredotočite
08:16
on just one at a time, conserve your mating energy,
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le na eno osebo naenkrat
08:19
and start the mating process with this single individual.
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in začnete proces parjenja s tem posameznikom
08:22
I think of all the poetry that I've read about romantic love,
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Prebrala sem veliko pesmi o romantični ljubezni.
08:26
what sums it up best is something that is said by Plato,
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Ljubezen najbolje povzamejo besede Platona
08:30
over 2,000 years ago.
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izpred več kot 2000 let.
08:32
He said, "The god of love lives in a state of need.
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Platon je rekel, bog ljubezni živi v stanju potrebe.
08:36
It is a need. It is an urge.
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To je potreba. To je nuja.
08:39
It is a homeostatic imbalance.
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To je homeostatično neravnovesje.
08:42
Like hunger and thirst, it's almost impossible to stamp out."
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Kot lakota ali žeja. Tega ne morete izključiti.
08:46
I've also come to believe that romantic love is an addiction:
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Začela sem verjeti tudi, da je romantična ljubezen zasvojenost.
08:50
a perfectly wonderful addiction when it's going well,
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Prekrasna zasvojenost, ko gre vse dobro,
08:52
and a perfectly horrible addiction when it's going poorly.
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in grozna zasvojenost, ko gre slabo.
08:56
And indeed, it has all of the characteristics of addiction.
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Romantična ljubezen ima vse znake zasvojenosti.
08:59
You focus on the person, you obsessively think about them,
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Osredotočite se na eno osebo, obsedeno mislite nanjo,
09:02
you crave them, you distort reality,
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hrepenite po njej, popačite resničnost,
09:05
your willingness to take enormous risks to win this person.
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veliko tvegate, da osvojite to osebo.
09:08
And it's got the three main characteristics of addiction:
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Ljubezen ima vse tri ključne značilnosti zasvojenosti.
09:10
tolerance, you need to see them more, and more, and more;
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Toleranca - osebo morate videti vedno pogosteje,
09:14
withdrawals; and last, relapse.
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odtegnitev, in kasneje, zdrs nazaj.
09:16
I've got a girlfriend who's just getting over a terrible love affair.
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Prijateljica pravkar preboleva grozno razmerje.
09:20
It's been about eight months, she's beginning to feel better.
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Minilo je osem mesecev, končno se počuti bolje.
09:22
And she was driving along in her car the other day,
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Zadnjič se je vozila z avtom
09:25
and suddenly she heard a song on the car radio
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in zaslišala na radiu pesem,
09:27
that reminded her of this man.
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ki jo je spomnila na tega moškega.
09:29
And she -- not only did the instant craving come back,
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Takrat ni le zahrepenela po njem.
09:32
but she had to pull over
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Morala je ustaviti avto
09:34
from the side of the road and cry.
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in jokati.
09:36
So, one thing I would like the medical community,
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Hočem, da bi zdravniška stroka,
09:38
and the legal community, and even the college community,
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pravniška strok in tudi študentska skupnost
09:41
to see if they can understand, that indeed,
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poskušale razumeti,
09:44
romantic love is one of the most addictive substances on Earth.
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da je romantična ljubezen najmočnejša zasvojenost na Zemlji.
09:48
I would also like to tell the world that animals love.
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Hočem povedati še nekaj. Živali ljubijo.
09:52
There's not an animal on this planet
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Na planetu ni niti ene živali,
09:53
that will copulate with anything that comes along.
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ki bi se parila s čimerkoli, kar ji prekriža pot.
09:56
Too old, too young, too scruffy, too stupid, and they won't do it.
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S prestarimi, premladimi, preneumnimi se ne bodo.
10:01
Unless you're stuck in a laboratory cage --
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Razen če obtičijo v laboratorijski kletki...
10:04
and you know, if you spend your entire life in a little box,
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Če bi vi celo življenje preživeli v majhni škatli,
10:07
you're not going to be as picky about who you have sex with --
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ne bi bili izbirični pri izbiri partnerja za seks.
10:11
but I've looked in a hundred species,
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Preučila sem sto vrst živali.
10:13
and everywhere in the wild, animals have favorites.
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V divjini imajo vse živali najljubše partnerje.
10:17
As a matter of fact ethologists know this.
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Etologi poznajo to dejstvo.
10:19
There are over eight words for what they call "animal favoritism:"
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Obstaja več kot osem besed za opis izbiranja pri živalih
10:23
selective proceptivity, mate choice, female choice, sexual choice.
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selektivna izbira, izbira za parjenje, izbira samice, seksualna izbira.
10:28
And indeed, there are now three academic articles
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Napisani so bili trije akademski članki,
10:31
in which they've looked at this attraction,
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ki preučujejo živalsko privlačnost.
10:34
which may only last for a second,
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Privlačnost lahko traja le sekundo,
10:36
but it's a definite attraction,
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a je nedvomna.
10:37
and either this same brain region, this reward system,
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Pri tem sodeluje isti možganski sistem kot pri ljudeh
10:41
or the chemicals of that reward system are involved.
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s svojimi kemičnimi prenašalci.
10:44
In fact, I think animal attraction can be instant --
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Živalska privlačnost je lahko takojšnja.
10:47
you can see an elephant instantly go for another elephant.
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Slon se v trenutku ogreje za drugega slona.
10:50
And I think that this is really the origin
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Mislim, da od tu izvira
10:52
of what you and I call "love at first sight."
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ljubezen na prvi pogled.
10:54
People have often asked me whether
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Veliko ljudi me je že vprašalo,
10:59
what I know about love has spoiled it for me.
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če je preučevanje ljubezni v meni uničilo čar ljubezni.
11:02
And I just simply say, "Hardly."
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Odgovorim jim, niti ne.
11:04
You can know every single ingredient in a piece of chocolate cake,
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Lahko bi poznali vse sestavine v čokoladni torti,
11:07
and then when you sit down and eat that cake,
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a ko jeste to torto,
11:10
you can still feel that joy.
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še vedno čutite tisto veselje.
11:12
And certainly, I make all the same mistakes
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Prepričana sem, da delam enake napake,
11:14
that everybody else does too,
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kot jih delajo drugi.
11:16
but it's really deepened my understanding
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A raziskovanje je poglobilo moje razumevanje
11:20
and compassion, really, for all human life.
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in sočutje do življenja.
11:24
As a matter of fact, in New York, I often catch myself
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Iskreno povedano, v New Yorku pogosto
11:27
looking in baby carriages and feeling a little sorry for the tot.
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pogledam v otroški voziček in sočustvujem z malčkom.
11:31
And in fact, sometimes I feel a little sorry
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Včasih sočustvujem
11:34
for the chicken on my dinner plate,
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s pečeno kokošjo na krožniku,
11:35
when I think of how intense this brain system is.
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ko pomislim, kako intenziven je možganski sistem.
11:41
Our newest experiment has been hatched
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Najnovejšo raziskavo je zasnoval
11:46
by my colleague, Art Aron --
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sodelavec Art Aron.
11:48
putting people who are reporting that they are still in love,
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Osebam, ki trdijo, da so še vedno zaljubljene
11:51
in a long-term relationship, into the functional MRI.
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v dolgoletnem razmerju, slika možgane.
11:55
We've put five people in so far,
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Doslej smo pregledali pet oseb.
11:57
and indeed, we found exactly the same thing. They're not lying.
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Našli smo enake rezultate glede možganske aktivnosti. Te osebe ne lažejo.
12:02
The brain areas
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Možganski deli,
12:06
associated with intense romantic love
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ki so povezani z romantično ljubeznijo,
12:08
still become active, 25 years later.
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so po 25 letih še vedno aktivni.
12:12
There are still many questions to be answered
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Najti moramo še veliko odgovorov
12:15
and asked about romantic love.
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in si zastaviti še veliko vprašanj o romantični ljubezni.
12:18
The question that I'm working on right this minute --
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V tem trenutku si zastavljam eno vprašanje,
12:19
and I'm only going to say it for a second, and then end --
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dotaknila se ga bom le na kratko;
12:22
is, why do you fall in love with one person, rather than another?
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zakaj se v eno osebo zaljubimo raje kot v drugo?
12:26
I never would have even thought to think of this,
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Nikoli ne bi pomislila na to,
12:29
but Match.com, the Internet-dating site,
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a spletna stran za zmenke Match.com
12:31
came to me three years ago and asked me that question.
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me je pred tremi leti vprašala prav to.
12:33
And I said, I don't know.
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Odgovorila sem, ne vem.
12:35
I know what happens in the brain, when you do become in love,
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Vem, kaj se zgodi v možganih, ko se zaljubite.
12:38
but I don't know why you fall in love with one person
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A ne vem, zakaj se v eno osebo zaljubimo raje
12:40
rather than another.
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kot v drugo.
12:41
And so, I've spent the last three years on this.
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Tri leta sem se ukvarjala s tem vprašanjem.
12:45
And there are many reasons that you fall in love with one person
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Obstaja veliko razlogov, zakaj se v eno osebo zaljubimo
12:47
rather than another, that psychologists can tell you.
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raje kot v drugo. Psihologi vam lahko to razložijo.
12:49
And we tend to fall in love with somebody
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Največkrat se zaljubimo v osebo,
12:50
from the same socioeconomic background,
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ki prihaja iz enakega družbenoekonomskega ozadja,
12:53
the same general level of intelligence,
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ima enako stopnjo inteligence,
12:54
the same general level of good looks,
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enako stopnjo lepega videza,
12:56
the same religious values.
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enake verske vrednote.
12:58
Your childhood certainly plays a role, but nobody knows how.
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Tudi otroštvo vpliva na to, a ne vemo, kako.
13:01
And that's about it, that's all they know.
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To je vse, kar vejo.
13:03
No, they've never found the way two personalities
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Niso še ugotovili, kako dve osebi
13:06
fit together to make a good relationship.
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ustvarita dobro razmerje.
13:09
So, it began to occur to me
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Začelo se mi je dozdevati,
13:11
that maybe your biology pulls you
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da nas biologija vleče
13:13
towards some people rather than another.
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k nekaterim osebam bolj kot k drugim.
13:16
And I have concocted a questionnaire to see to what degree
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Sestavila sem vprašalnik, da bi izvedela, do katere mere
13:20
you express dopamine, serotonin, estrogen and testosterone.
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se pri posamezniku izraža vpliv dopamina, serotonina, estrogena in testosterona.
13:25
I think we've evolved four very broad personality types
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V evoluciji so se razvili štirje široki tipi osebnosti
13:28
associated with the ratios of these four chemicals in the brain.
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ki so povezani z razmerji teh štirih kemikalij v možganih.
13:32
And on this dating site that I have created,
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Na moji spletni strani za zmenke,
13:34
called Chemistry.com, I ask you first a series of questions
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Chemistry.com, vam najprej zastavim nekaj vprašanj,
13:40
to see to what degree you express these chemicals,
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da vidim, do katere mere izražate te kemikalije.
13:43
and I'm watching who chooses who to love.
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Nato opazujem, kdo se zaljubi v koga.
13:47
And 3.7 million people have taken the questionnaire in America.
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Vprašalnik je izpolnilo 3.7 mio ljudi v Ameriki
13:50
About 600,000 people have taken it in 33 other countries.
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in okoli 600,000 ljudi v 33 drugih državah.
13:56
I'm putting the data together now,
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Zdaj pregledujem dobljene podatke.
13:57
and at some point -- there will always be magic to love,
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Ljubezen bo vedno čudež.
14:00
but I think I will come closer to understanding
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A enkrat bom bolje razumela,
14:03
why it is you can walk into a room
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zakaj vstopimo v nek prostor,
14:06
and everybody is from your background,
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kjer vsi izhajajo iz enakega ozadja,
14:08
your same general level of intelligence,
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imajo enako stopnjo inteligence,
14:10
your same general level of good looks,
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enako stopnjo lepote,
14:11
and you don't feel pulled towards all of them.
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a nas vendar vsi ne privlačijo.
14:14
I think there's biology to that.
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Mislim, da je za tem biologija.
14:16
I think we're going to end up, in the next few years,
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Mislim, da bomo v naslednjih nekaj letih
14:19
to understand all kinds of brain mechanisms
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razumeli vse možganske mehanizme,
14:21
that pull us to one person rather than another.
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ki nas vlečejo k eni osebi bolj kot k drugi.
14:24
So, I will close with this. These are my older people.
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Zaključila bom s tem. To so moji starejši ljudje.
14:30
Faulkner once said, "The past is not dead,
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Faulkner je enkrat rekel, preteklost ni mrtva,
14:33
it's not even the past."
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tudi preteklost ni.
14:34
Indeed, we carry a lot of luggage
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Kakorkoli, v možganih nosimo prtljago
14:37
from our yesteryear in the human brain.
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iz vseh preživelih let.
14:40
And so, there's one thing
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Zaradi ene stvari
14:41
that makes me pursue my understanding of human nature,
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hočem razumeti človeško naravo
14:48
and this reminds me of it.
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in to je me spomnilo nanjo.
14:50
These are two women.
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To sta dve ženski.
14:51
Women tend to get intimacy differently than men do.
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Ženske postanejo intimne drugače kot moški.
14:54
Women get intimacy from face-to-face talking.
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Ženske dosežemo intimnost s pogovorom iz oči v oči.
14:56
We swivel towards each other,
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Nagibamo se ena k drugi,
14:58
we do what we call the "anchoring gaze" and we talk.
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si gledamo v oči in se pogovarjamo.
15:02
This is intimacy to women.
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To je intimnost za ženske.
15:04
I think it comes from millions of years
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Mislim, da to izvira iz milijonov let
15:05
of holding that baby in front of your face,
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držanje otroka pred obrazom,
15:07
cajoling it, reprimanding it, educating it with words.
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dobrikanja otroku, kreganja in poučevanja otroka.
15:10
Men tend to get intimacy from side-by-side doing.
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Moški dosežejo intimnost z delom eden ob drugem.
15:14
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
15:15
As soon as one guy looks up, the other guy will look away.
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Ko en moški dvigne pogled, drugi moški pogleda stran.
15:18
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
15:20
I think it comes from millions of years
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Mislim, da to izvira iz milijonov let
15:22
of standing behind that -- sitting behind the bush,
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sedenja za grmovjem,
15:25
looking straight ahead,
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gledanja naravnost
15:27
trying to hit that buffalo on the head with a rock.
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in poskušanja ubiti bivola.
15:29
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
15:30
I think, for millions of years, men faced their enemies,
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Moški so se milijone let soočali s sovražniki iz oči v oči,
15:32
they sat side by side with friends.
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s prijatelji pa so sedeli eden zraven drugega.
15:35
So my final statement is: love is in us.
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Moja zaključna izjava je: ljubezen je v nas.
15:39
It's deeply embedded in the brain.
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Ljubezen je nameščena v možganih.
15:42
Our challenge is to understand each other. Thank you.
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Drug drugega moramo razumeti. Hvala.
15:45
(Applause)
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(aplavz)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Helen Fisher - Anthropologist, expert on loveAnthropologist Helen Fisher studies gender differences and the evolution of human emotions. She’s best known as an expert on romantic love.
Why you should listen
Fisher's several books lay bare the mysteries of our most treasured emotion: its evolution, its biochemical foundations and its vital importance to human society. Fisher describes love as a universal human drive (stronger than the sex drive; stronger than thirst or hunger; stronger perhaps than the will to live), and her many areas of inquiry shed light on timeless human mysteries like why we choose one partner over another. Her classic study, Anatomy of Love, first published in 1992, has just been re-issued in a fully updated edition, including her recent neuroimaging research on lust, romantic love and attachment as well as discussions of sexting, hooking up, friends with benefits, other contemporary trends in courtship and marriage, and a dramatic current trend she calls “slow love.”
Helen Fisher | Speaker | TED.com