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Robert Waldinger: What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness
Robert Valdinger (Robert Waldinger): Od čega se sastoji dobar život? Lekcije iz najdužeg istraživanja o sreći
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Šta nas održava srećnim i zdravim kako prolazimo kroz život? Ukoliko smatrate da su to novac i slava, niste usamljeni - međutim, prema mišljenju psihijatra Roberta Valdingera, u zabludi ste. Kao direktor 75-ogodišnjeg istraživanja razvoja odraslih, Valdinger ima jedinstven pristup podacima o istinskoj sreći i zadovoljstvu. U ovom govoru, deli sa nama tri važne lekcije koje je naučio iz ovog istraživanja, kao i neke praktične mudrosti, stare kao Grčka, o tome kako izgraditi ispunjen, dug život.
Robert Waldinger - Psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, Zen priest
Robert Waldinger is the Director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the most comprehensive longitudinal studies in history. Full bio
Robert Waldinger is the Director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the most comprehensive longitudinal studies in history. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
What keeps us healthy and happy
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Šta nas održava zdravim i srećnim
00:15
as we go through life?
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kako prolazimo kroz život?
00:18
If you were going to invest now
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Ukoliko biste ulagali danas
00:21
in your future best self,
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u najbolju verziju sebe u budućnosti,
00:23
where would you put your time
and your energy?
and your energy?
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gde biste uložili svoje vreme i energiju?
00:27
There was a recent survey of millennials
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Nedavno je na milenijumskoj generaciji
urađena anketa,
urađena anketa,
00:29
asking them what their
most important life goals were,
most important life goals were,
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pitali su ih koji su im najvažniji
životni ciljevi
životni ciljevi
00:34
and over 80 percent said
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i preko 80 procenata je reklo
00:36
that a major life goal for them
was to get rich.
was to get rich.
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da im je najvažniji cilj da se obogate.
00:40
And another 50 percent
of those same young adults
of those same young adults
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A ostalih 50 procenata
iz iste generacije mladih
iz iste generacije mladih
00:45
said that another major life goal
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je reklo da im je drugi važan životni cilj
00:47
was to become famous.
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da budu poznati.
00:50
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
00:52
And we're constantly told
to lean in to work, to push harder
to lean in to work, to push harder
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I stalno nam govore da moramo
da zapnemo na poslu, da se više trudimo
da zapnemo na poslu, da se više trudimo
00:58
and achieve more.
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i da više postižemo.
01:00
We're given the impression that these
are the things that we need to go after
are the things that we need to go after
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Stekli smo utisak da je to ono
što bismo trebali da sledimo
što bismo trebali da sledimo
01:04
in order to have a good life.
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kako bismo imali dobar život.
01:06
Pictures of entire lives,
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Slike celokupnih života,
01:08
of the choices that people make
and how those choices work out for them,
and how those choices work out for them,
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izbora koje ljudi prave
i kako su im se ti izbori odvijali,
i kako su im se ti izbori odvijali,
01:13
those pictures
are almost impossible to get.
are almost impossible to get.
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te slike je gotovo nemoguće napraviti.
01:18
Most of what we know about human life
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Većina onoga što znamo o ljudskom životu
01:21
we know from asking people
to remember the past,
to remember the past,
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znamo iz odgovora na pitanja
o sećanjima iz prošlosti
o sećanjima iz prošlosti
01:24
and as we know, hindsight
is anything but 20/20.
is anything but 20/20.
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i, koliko nam je poznato, osvrtanje
u prošlost uopšte nije pouzdano.
u prošlost uopšte nije pouzdano.
01:29
We forget vast amounts
of what happens to us in life,
of what happens to us in life,
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Zaboravljamo ogromnu većinu onoga
što nam se desilo u životu
što nam se desilo u životu
01:33
and sometimes memory
is downright creative.
is downright creative.
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i ponekad je sećanje istinski kreativno.
01:36
But what if we could watch entire lives
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Međutim, šta ako bismo mogli
da posmatramo celokupne živote
da posmatramo celokupne živote
01:41
as they unfold through time?
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kako se vremenom razvijaju?
01:44
What if we could study people
from the time that they were teenagers
from the time that they were teenagers
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Šta kad bismo mogli da izučavamo ljude
od tinejdžerskog uzrasta
od tinejdžerskog uzrasta
01:48
all the way into old age
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sve do starosti,
01:50
to see what really keeps people
happy and healthy?
happy and healthy?
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kako bismo otkrili šta ljude održava
srećnim i zdravim?
srećnim i zdravim?
01:55
We did that.
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Učinili smo to.
01:57
The Harvard Study of Adult Development
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Harvardovo istraživanje razvoja odraslih
01:59
may be the longest study
of adult life that's ever been done.
of adult life that's ever been done.
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je možda najduže istraživanje
života odraslih koje je ikad sprovedeno.
života odraslih koje je ikad sprovedeno.
02:05
For 75 years, we've tracked
the lives of 724 men,
the lives of 724 men,
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Tokom 75 godina smo pratili
živote 724 muškarca,
živote 724 muškarca,
02:13
year after year, asking about their work,
their home lives, their health,
their home lives, their health,
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godinu za godinom, pitali smo ih o poslu,
njihovim porodičnim životima, zdravlju
njihovim porodičnim životima, zdravlju
02:17
and of course asking all along the way
without knowing how their life stories
without knowing how their life stories
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i, naravno, pitali smo sve vreme
ne znajući kako će njihove životne priče
ne znajući kako će njihove životne priče
02:22
were going to turn out.
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ispasti.
02:25
Studies like this are exceedingly rare.
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Ovakva istraživanja su izuzetno retka.
02:28
Almost all projects of this kind
fall apart within a decade
fall apart within a decade
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Skoro svi slični projekti
se raspadnu u roku od jedne decenije
se raspadnu u roku od jedne decenije
02:33
because too many people
drop out of the study,
drop out of the study,
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jer prevelik broj ljudi
napusti istraživanje
napusti istraživanje
02:36
or funding for the research dries up,
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ili finansiranje istraživanja prestane
02:39
or the researchers get distracted,
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ili istraživačima nešto drugo
odvuče pažnju
odvuče pažnju
02:41
or they die, and nobody moves the ball
further down the field.
further down the field.
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ili umru i niko ne nastavi započeti posao.
02:46
But through a combination of luck
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Međutim, kombinacijom sreće
02:48
and the persistence
of several generations of researchers,
of several generations of researchers,
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i upornosti
nekoliko generacija istraživača,
nekoliko generacija istraživača,
02:52
this study has survived.
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ovo istraživanje je preživelo.
02:54
About 60 of our original 724 men
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Oko 60, od naša prvobitna 724 muškaraca,
02:59
are still alive,
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su i dalje živi,
03:00
still participating in the study,
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i dalje učestvuju u istraživanju,
03:02
most of them in their 90s.
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većina je u devedesetim godinama.
03:05
And we are now beginning to study
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I sada počinjemo da izučavamo
03:07
the more than 2,000 children of these men.
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preko 2000 dece ovih muškaraca.
03:11
And I'm the fourth director of the study.
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A ja sam četvrti direktor istraživanja.
03:15
Since 1938, we've tracked the lives
of two groups of men.
of two groups of men.
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Od 1938, pratili smo živote
dve grupe muškaraca.
dve grupe muškaraca.
03:20
The first group started in the study
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Prva grupa je započela istraživanje
03:22
when they were sophomores
at Harvard College.
at Harvard College.
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kad su bili druga godina na Harvardu.
03:25
They all finished college
during World War II,
during World War II,
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Svi su završili fakultet
tokom Drugog svetskog rata,
tokom Drugog svetskog rata,
03:27
and then most went off
to serve in the war.
to serve in the war.
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a potom je većina otišla u ratnu službu.
03:31
And the second group that we've followed
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A druga grupa koju smo pratili
03:33
was a group of boys
from Boston's poorest neighborhoods,
from Boston's poorest neighborhoods,
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je bila grupa dečaka
iz najsiromašnijih četvrti Bostona,
iz najsiromašnijih četvrti Bostona,
03:37
boys who were chosen for the study
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dečaci koji su izabrani za istraživanje
03:39
specifically because they were
from some of the most troubled
from some of the most troubled
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baš zato što potiču
iz nekih od najproblematičnijih
iz nekih od najproblematičnijih
03:43
and disadvantaged families
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i najugroženijih porodica
03:44
in the Boston of the 1930s.
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iz Bostona 1930-ih.
03:47
Most lived in tenements,
many without hot and cold running water.
many without hot and cold running water.
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većina je živela u lamelama, mnogi
nisu imali toplu, ni hladnu tekuću vodu.
nisu imali toplu, ni hladnu tekuću vodu.
03:54
When they entered the study,
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Kada su postali deo istraživanja,
03:56
all of these teenagers were interviewed.
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svi ovi tinejdžeri su intervjuisani.
03:59
They were given medical exams.
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Obavljeni su medicinski pregledi na njima.
04:01
We went to their homes
and we interviewed their parents.
and we interviewed their parents.
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Posetili smo njihove domove
i razgovarali sa njihovim roditeljima.
i razgovarali sa njihovim roditeljima.
04:05
And then these teenagers
grew up into adults
grew up into adults
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A onda su ovi tinejdžeri
postali odrasli ljudi
postali odrasli ljudi
04:07
who entered all walks of life.
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raznih zanimanja.
04:10
They became factory workers and lawyers
and bricklayers and doctors,
and bricklayers and doctors,
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Postali su fabrički radnici i pravnici
i zidari i doktori,
i zidari i doktori,
04:16
one President of the United States.
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jedan je postao predsednik SAD.
04:20
Some developed alcoholism.
A few developed schizophrenia.
A few developed schizophrenia.
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Neki su postali alkoholičari.
Nekoliko je dobilo šizofreniju.
Nekoliko je dobilo šizofreniju.
04:25
Some climbed the social ladder
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Neki su se popeli na društvenoj lestvici,
04:27
from the bottom
all the way to the very top,
all the way to the very top,
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s dna skroz do samog vrha,
04:30
and some made that journey
in the opposite direction.
in the opposite direction.
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a neki su išli obrnutim smerom.
04:35
The founders of this study
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Osnivači ovog istraživanja
04:38
would never in their wildest dreams
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ne bi ni u najluđim snovima
04:40
have imagined that I would be
standing here today, 75 years later,
standing here today, 75 years later,
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mogli da zamisle da ću danas
da stojim ovde, 75 godina kasnije,
da stojim ovde, 75 godina kasnije,
04:45
telling you that
the study still continues.
the study still continues.
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i da vam govorim
da istraživanje i dalje traje.
da istraživanje i dalje traje.
04:49
Every two years, our patient
and dedicated research staff
and dedicated research staff
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Svake dve godine, naše strpljivo
i posvećeno osoblje
i posvećeno osoblje
04:52
calls up our men
and asks them if we can send them
and asks them if we can send them
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poziva naše muškarce
i pita ih da li možemo da im pošaljemo
i pita ih da li možemo da im pošaljemo
04:56
yet one more set of questions
about their lives.
about their lives.
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još jednu seriju pitanja
o njihovim životima.
o njihovim životima.
05:00
Many of the inner city Boston men ask us,
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Mnogi od muškaraca
iz centralnog Bostona nas pitaju:
iz centralnog Bostona nas pitaju:
05:03
"Why do you keep wanting to study me?
My life just isn't that interesting."
My life just isn't that interesting."
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"Zašto me i dalje izučavate?
Moj život prosto nije toliko zanimljiv."
Moj život prosto nije toliko zanimljiv."
05:08
The Harvard men never ask that question.
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Muškarci sa Harvarda
nikad ne postavljaju to pitanje.
nikad ne postavljaju to pitanje.
05:11
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
05:20
To get the clearest picture
of these lives,
of these lives,
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Kako bismo imali jasniju sliku
ovih života,
ovih života,
05:23
we don't just send them questionnaires.
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ne šaljemo im samo upitnike.
05:26
We interview them in their living rooms.
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Intervjuišemo ih
u njihovim dnevnim boravcima
u njihovim dnevnim boravcima
05:29
We get their medical records
from their doctors.
from their doctors.
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Uzimamo zdravstvene kartone
od njihovih doktora.
od njihovih doktora.
05:32
We draw their blood, we scan their brains,
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Uzimamo im krv, skeniramo njihove mozgove,
05:34
we talk to their children.
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razgovaramo s njihovom decom.
05:36
We videotape them talking with their wives
about their deepest concerns.
about their deepest concerns.
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Snimamo ih dok razgovaraju sa suprugama
o svojim najvećim brigama.
o svojim najvećim brigama.
05:41
And when, about a decade ago,
we finally asked the wives
we finally asked the wives
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I kada smo, pre jedne decenije,
konačno upitali supruge
konačno upitali supruge
05:45
if they would join us
as members of the study,
as members of the study,
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da nam se pridruže
kao učesnice u istraživanju,
kao učesnice u istraživanju,
05:47
many of the women said,
"You know, it's about time."
"You know, it's about time."
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mnoge žene su rekle:
"Znate, bilo je i vreme."
"Znate, bilo je i vreme."
05:50
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
05:51
So what have we learned?
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Pa, šta smo naučili?
05:53
What are the lessons that come
from the tens of thousands of pages
from the tens of thousands of pages
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Koje su lekcije proizašle
iz desetina hiljada stranica
iz desetina hiljada stranica
05:58
of information that we've generated
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informacija koje smo sakupili
06:01
on these lives?
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o ovim životima?
06:03
Well, the lessons aren't about wealth
or fame or working harder and harder.
or fame or working harder and harder.
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Pa, lekcije nisu o bogatstvu ili slavi
ili sve vrednijem i vrednijem radu.
ili sve vrednijem i vrednijem radu.
06:10
The clearest message that we get
from this 75-year study is this:
from this 75-year study is this:
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Najjasnija poruka koja nam je stigla
iz 75-ogodišnjeg istraživanja je sledeća:
iz 75-ogodišnjeg istraživanja je sledeća:
06:16
Good relationships keep us
happier and healthier. Period.
happier and healthier. Period.
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dobri odnosi nas održavaju
srećnijima i zdravijima, i tačka.
srećnijima i zdravijima, i tačka.
06:23
We've learned three big lessons
about relationships.
about relationships.
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Naučili smo tri važne lekcije o odnosima.
06:26
The first is that social connections
are really good for us,
are really good for us,
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Prva je da su društvene veze
zaista dobre po nas
zaista dobre po nas
06:30
and that loneliness kills.
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i da usamljenost ubija.
06:33
It turns out that people
who are more socially connected
who are more socially connected
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Ispostavilo se da ljudi,
koji su društveno povezaniji
koji su društveno povezaniji
06:37
to family, to friends, to community,
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s porodicom, prijateljima, društvom,
06:40
are happier, they're physically healthier,
and they live longer
and they live longer
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su srećniji, fizički zdraviji i žive duže
06:45
than people who are less well connected.
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od ljudi koji su lošije povezani.
06:48
And the experience of loneliness
turns out to be toxic.
turns out to be toxic.
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A ispostavilo se
da je iskustvo usamljenosti otrovno.
da je iskustvo usamljenosti otrovno.
06:51
People who are more isolated
than they want to be from others
than they want to be from others
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Ljudi koji su izolovaniji od drugih,
više nego što bi želeli da budu,
više nego što bi želeli da budu,
06:57
find that they are less happy,
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otkrivaju da su manje srećni,
07:00
their health declines earlier in midlife,
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zdravlje počnje da im se pogoršava
rano tokom srednjih godina,
rano tokom srednjih godina,
07:03
their brain functioning declines sooner
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njihove moždane funkcije
ranije počnu da opadaju
ranije počnu da opadaju
07:05
and they live shorter lives
than people who are not lonely.
than people who are not lonely.
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i žive kraće od ljudi koji nisu usamljeni.
07:10
And the sad fact
is that at any given time,
is that at any given time,
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A tužna istina je da u bilo kom momentu,
07:13
more than one in five Americans
will report that they're lonely.
will report that they're lonely.
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više od jednog od pet Amerikanaca
će reći da je usamljeno.
će reći da je usamljeno.
07:19
And we know that you
can be lonely in a crowd
can be lonely in a crowd
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I znamo da možete biti usamljeni u gomili
07:21
and you can be lonely in a marriage,
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i da možete biti usamljeni u braku,
07:24
so the second big lesson that we learned
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pa je sledeća velika lekcija
koju smo naučili
koju smo naučili
07:26
is that it's not just
the number of friends you have,
the number of friends you have,
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ta da se ne radi samo o broju
prijatelja koje imate
prijatelja koje imate
07:29
and it's not whether or not
you're in a committed relationship,
you're in a committed relationship,
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i ne radi se o tome
da li ste u privrženoj vezi,
da li ste u privrženoj vezi,
07:33
but it's the quality
of your close relationships that matters.
of your close relationships that matters.
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već je važan kvalitet vaših bliskih veza.
07:38
It turns out that living in the midst
of conflict is really bad for our health.
of conflict is really bad for our health.
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Ispostavilo se da je život u središtu
konflikta zaista loš za vaše zdravlje.
konflikta zaista loš za vaše zdravlje.
07:43
High-conflict marriages, for example,
without much affection,
without much affection,
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Izrazito konfliktni brakovi, na primer,
bez mnogo ljubavi,
bez mnogo ljubavi,
07:47
turn out to be very bad for our health,
perhaps worse than getting divorced.
perhaps worse than getting divorced.
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ispostavilo se da su veoma loši
po vaše zdravlje, možda i gori od razvoda.
po vaše zdravlje, možda i gori od razvoda.
07:53
And living in the midst of good,
warm relationships is protective.
warm relationships is protective.
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A život unutar dobre,
tople veze vas štiti.
tople veze vas štiti.
07:57
Once we had followed our men
all the way into their 80s,
all the way into their 80s,
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Kako smo pratili naše muškarce
sve do njihovih 80-ih,
sve do njihovih 80-ih,
08:01
we wanted to look back at them at midlife
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želeli smo da se osvrnemo na njih
tokom srednjih godina
tokom srednjih godina
08:04
and to see if we could predict
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i da vidimo možemo li predvideti
08:05
who was going to grow
into a happy, healthy octogenarian
into a happy, healthy octogenarian
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ko će da ostari u srećnog,
zdravog osamdesetogodišnjaka,
zdravog osamdesetogodišnjaka,
08:09
and who wasn't.
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a ko neće.
08:11
And when we gathered together
everything we knew about them
everything we knew about them
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I kada smo sakupili sve što znamo o njima
08:15
at age 50,
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kad su imali 50 godina,
08:18
it wasn't their middle age
cholesterol levels
cholesterol levels
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njihove vrednosti holesterola
08:20
that predicted how they
were going to grow old.
were going to grow old.
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nisu te koje su predvidele
kako će da ostare.
kako će da ostare.
08:23
It was how satisfied they were
in their relationships.
in their relationships.
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Već to koliko su zadovoljni
u svojim vezama.
u svojim vezama.
08:27
The people who were the most satisfied
in their relationships at age 50
in their relationships at age 50
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Ljudi koji su bili najzadovoljniji
u svojim vezama s 50 godina
u svojim vezama s 50 godina
08:31
were the healthiest at age 80.
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su bili najzdraviji sa 80 godina.
08:35
And good, close relationships
seem to buffer us
seem to buffer us
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A dobre, bliske veze čini se da ublažavaju
08:38
from some of the slings and arrows
of getting old.
of getting old.
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bičeve i udarce starosti.
08:42
Our most happily partnered men and women
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Naši najsrećnije upareni muškarci i žene
08:46
reported, in their 80s,
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su izjavili, u svojim 80-im,
08:48
that on the days
when they had more physical pain,
when they had more physical pain,
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da je u danima
kad su osećali više fizičkog bola,
kad su osećali više fizičkog bola,
08:51
their mood stayed just as happy.
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njihovo raspoloženje
ostajalo jednako vedro.
ostajalo jednako vedro.
08:54
But the people who were
in unhappy relationships,
in unhappy relationships,
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Međutim, ljudi koji su bili
u nezadovoljavajućim vezama,
u nezadovoljavajućim vezama,
08:57
on the days when they
reported more physical pain,
reported more physical pain,
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u danima kada bi prijavili
više fizičkog bola,
više fizičkog bola,
09:00
it was magnified by more emotional pain.
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on je bio pojačan višim stepenom
emotivnog bola.
emotivnog bola.
09:04
And the third big lesson that we learned
about relationships and our health
about relationships and our health
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A treća važna lekcija koju smo naučili
o vezama i našem zdravlju
o vezama i našem zdravlju
09:08
is that good relationships
don't just protect our bodies,
don't just protect our bodies,
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je da dobre veze, ne štite samo naša tela,
09:12
they protect our brains.
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već štite i naše mozgove.
09:14
It turns out that being
in a securely attached relationship
in a securely attached relationship
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Ispostavilo se da kad ste
u sigurnoj i privrženoj vezi
u sigurnoj i privrženoj vezi
09:19
to another person in your 80s
is protective,
is protective,
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s drugom osobom, u svojim 80-im,
to je poput štita,
to je poput štita,
09:23
that the people who are in relationships
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da ljudi koji su u vezama
09:25
where they really feel they can count
on the other person in times of need,
on the other person in times of need,
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u kojim osećaju da zaista mogu da računaju
na drugu osobu kad je to potrebno,
na drugu osobu kad je to potrebno,
09:29
those people's memories
stay sharper longer.
stay sharper longer.
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sećanja tih ljudi duže ostaju jasna.
09:32
And the people in relationships
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A ljudi u vezama
09:34
where they feel they really
can't count on the other one,
can't count on the other one,
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u kojim osećaju da zaista ne mogu
da računaju na drugu osobu,
da računaju na drugu osobu,
09:37
those are the people who experience
earlier memory decline.
earlier memory decline.
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ti ljudi ranije doživljavaju
pogoršanje pamćenja.
pogoršanje pamćenja.
09:42
And those good relationships,
they don't have to be smooth all the time.
they don't have to be smooth all the time.
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A te dobre veze,
ne moraju stalno da budu prijatne.
ne moraju stalno da budu prijatne.
09:46
Some of our octogenarian couples
could bicker with each other
could bicker with each other
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Neki od naših osamdestogodišnjih
parova mogu zvocati jedno drugom
parova mogu zvocati jedno drugom
09:49
day in and day out,
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po čitavi dan,
međutim dokle god bi osećali da se zaista
mogu osloniti jedno na drugo
mogu osloniti jedno na drugo
09:51
but as long as they felt that they
could really count on the other
could really count on the other
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09:54
when the going got tough,
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kad dođe teško vreme,
09:56
those arguments didn't take a toll
on their memories.
on their memories.
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te svađe nisu uzimale danak
njihvom pamćenju.
njihvom pamćenju.
10:01
So this message,
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Dakle, ova poruka
10:04
that good, close relationships
are good for our health and well-being,
are good for our health and well-being,
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da su dobre, prisne veze
dobre za naše zdravlje i dobrobit,
dobre za naše zdravlje i dobrobit,
10:10
this is wisdom that's as old as the hills.
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ova mudrost je stara kao Grčka.
10:13
Why is this so hard to get
and so easy to ignore?
and so easy to ignore?
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Zašto je ovo teško shvatiti
i lako zanemariti?
i lako zanemariti?
10:17
Well, we're human.
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Pa, ljudi smo.
10:19
What we'd really like is a quick fix,
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Mi bismo zaista želeli brza rešenja,
10:21
something we can get
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nešto što možemo da uzmemo
10:23
that'll make our lives good
and keep them that way.
and keep them that way.
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zbog čega će naši životi biti dobri
i takvi će i ostati.
i takvi će i ostati.
10:27
Relationships are messy
and they're complicated
and they're complicated
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Veze su haotične i složene,
10:30
and the hard work of tending
to family and friends,
to family and friends,
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a vredan rad na održavanju
porodice i prijatelja,
porodice i prijatelja,
10:34
it's not sexy or glamorous.
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nije ni seksi, ni glamurozan.
10:37
It's also lifelong. It never ends.
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Uz to je i celoživotan.
Nikad se ne završava.
Nikad se ne završava.
10:40
The people in our 75-year study
who were the happiest in retirement
who were the happiest in retirement
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Ljudi iz našeg 75-ogodišnjeg istraživanja
koji su bili najsrećniji kao penzioneri
koji su bili najsrećniji kao penzioneri
10:45
were the people who had actively worked
to replace workmates with new playmates.
to replace workmates with new playmates.
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su oni koji su aktivno radili na zameni
prijatelja s posla, onim za zabavu.
prijatelja s posla, onim za zabavu.
10:51
Just like the millennials
in that recent survey,
in that recent survey,
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Baš kao milenijumska generacija
u skorašnjem istraživanju,
u skorašnjem istraživanju,
10:54
many of our men when they
were starting out as young adults
were starting out as young adults
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većina naših muškaraca,
na samom početku, kao mladići,
na samom početku, kao mladići,
10:58
really believed that fame and wealth
and high achievement
and high achievement
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zaista su verovali da su slava i bogatstvo
i velika dostignuća
i velika dostignuća
11:02
were what they needed to go after
to have a good life.
to have a good life.
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ono što moraju da jure
da bi imali dobar život.
da bi imali dobar život.
11:06
But over and over, over these 75 years,
our study has shown
our study has shown
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Ali iznova i iznova, tokom ovih 75 godina,
naše istraživanje je pokazivalo
naše istraživanje je pokazivalo
11:10
that the people who fared the best were
the people who leaned in to relationships,
the people who leaned in to relationships,
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da su najdalje stigli
ljudi koji su se oslanjali na veze,
ljudi koji su se oslanjali na veze,
11:16
with family, with friends, with community.
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s porodicom, prijateljima, zajednicom.
11:21
So what about you?
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Dakle, šta je s vama?
11:23
Let's say you're 25,
or you're 40, or you're 60.
or you're 40, or you're 60.
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Recimo da imate 25 ili 40 ili 60 godina.
11:27
What might leaning in
to relationships even look like?
to relationships even look like?
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Kako bi oslanjanje na veze
uopšte izgledalo?
uopšte izgledalo?
11:31
Well, the possibilities
are practically endless.
are practically endless.
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Pa, mogućnosti su skoro neograničene.
11:35
It might be something as simple
as replacing screen time with people time
as replacing screen time with people time
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Moglo bi da bude nešto prosto kao menjanje
vremena ispred ekrana vremenom s ljudima
vremena ispred ekrana vremenom s ljudima
11:41
or livening up a stale relationship
by doing something new together,
by doing something new together,
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ili oživljavanje učmale veze
novom zajedničkom aktivnošću,
novom zajedničkom aktivnošću,
11:46
long walks or date nights,
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dugim šetnjama ili izlascima uveče
11:49
or reaching out to that family member
who you haven't spoken to in years,
who you haven't spoken to in years,
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ili posezanje za članom porodice
s kim niste razgovarali godinama
s kim niste razgovarali godinama
11:54
because those all-too-common family feuds
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jer sve te opšte poznate porodične svađe
11:57
take a terrible toll
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uzimaju užasan danak
12:00
on the people who hold the grudges.
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ljudima koji su zlopamtila.
12:04
I'd like to close with a quote
from Mark Twain.
from Mark Twain.
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Želeo bih da završim citatom Marka Tvena.
12:09
More than a century ago,
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Pre više od jednog veka,
12:11
he was looking back on his life,
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osvrtao se na svoj život
12:14
and he wrote this:
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i napisao sledeće:
12:16
"There isn't time, so brief is life,
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"Nema vremena, tako kratak je život,
12:20
for bickerings, apologies,
heartburnings, callings to account.
heartburnings, callings to account.
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za prepirke, izvinjenja,
prezir, pozivanja na odgovornost.
prezir, pozivanja na odgovornost.
12:26
There is only time for loving,
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Imamo samo vremena za ljubav,
12:29
and but an instant,
so to speak, for that."
so to speak, for that."
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i to samo tren, tako reći, za to."
12:34
The good life is built
with good relationships.
with good relationships.
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Dobar život se gradi dobrim vezama.
12:39
Thank you.
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Hvala vam.
12:40
(Applause)
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(Aplauz)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Robert Waldinger - Psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, Zen priestRobert Waldinger is the Director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the most comprehensive longitudinal studies in history.
Why you should listen
Robert Waldinger is a psychiatrist, psychoanalyst and Zen priest. He is Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and directs the Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the longest-running studies of adult life ever done. The Study tracked the lives of two groups of men for over 75 years, and it now follows their Baby Boomer children to understand how childhood experience reaches across decades to affect health and wellbeing in middle age. He writes about what science and Zen can teach us about healthy human development.
Dr. Waldinger is the author of numerous scientific papers as well as two books. He teaches medical students and psychiatry residents at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, and he is a Senior Dharma Teacher in Boundless Way Zen.
To keep abreast of research findings, insights and more, visit robertwaldinger.com.
Robert Waldinger | Speaker | TED.com