TEDGlobal 2010
Maz Jobrani: Did you hear the one about the Iranian-American?
Maz Džubrani : Da li ste čuli za onaj o iranskom Amerikancu?
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Jedan od osnivača Turneje Komedije - Osovine Zla, standup komičar Maz Džubrani govori o izazovima i sukobima koje ima kao iranski Amerikanac -- ' kao, deo mene misli da bi trebalo da imam nuklearni program; drugi deo misli da mi se ne može verovati...'
Maz Jobrani - Comedian
A founding member of the Axis of Evil Comedy Tour, Iranian-American comedian Maz Jobrani is now touring with his second solo comedy show, Browner and Friendlier. Full bio
A founding member of the Axis of Evil Comedy Tour, Iranian-American comedian Maz Jobrani is now touring with his second solo comedy show, Browner and Friendlier. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:15
I was one of the founding members
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Bio sam jedan od osnivača
00:17
of the Axis of Evil Comedy Tour.
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Turneje Komedije Osovine Zla.
00:19
The other founding members included Ahmed Ahmed,
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Drugi osnivači su Ahmed Ahmed,
00:22
who is an Egyptian-American,
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ko je egipatski Amerikanac,
00:24
who actually had the idea to go to the Middle East and try it out.
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čija je ideja zapravo bila da odemo na Bliski Istok i probamo.
00:26
Before we went out as a tour,
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Pre nego što smo napravili turneju,
00:28
he went out solo and did it first.
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on je otišao sam i uradio to.
00:30
Then there was Aron Kader, who was the Palestinian-American.
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Onda je tu bio Aron Kader, ko je palestinski Amerikanac.
00:33
And then there was me, the Iranian-American of the group.
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I tu sam bio ja, iranski Amerikanac u grupi.
00:36
Now, being Iranian-American
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Sada, biti iranski Amerikanac
00:38
presents its own set of problems, as you know.
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ima i svojih problema, kao što znate.
00:40
Those two countries aren't getting along these days.
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Te dve zemlje se ne slažu ovih dana.
00:42
So it causes a lot of inner conflict, you know,
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I to izaziva dosta unutrašnjih konflikata, znate,
00:45
like part of me likes me, part of me hates me.
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kao deo mene me voli, deo mene me mrzi.
00:48
Part of me thinks I should have a nuclear program,
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Deo mene misli da bi trebalo da imam nuklearni program,
00:50
the other part thinks I can't be trusted with one.
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drugi deo mene misli da mi se ne može verovati sa istim.
00:53
These are dilemmas I have every day.
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Postoje dileme koje imam svakog dana.
00:56
But I was born in Iran; I'm now an American citizen,
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Ali ja sam rođen u Iranu; sada sam američki građanin,
00:58
which means I have the American passport,
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što znači da imam američki pasoš,
01:00
which means I can travel.
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što znači da mogu da putujem.
01:03
Because if you only have the Iranian passport,
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Jer ako imate samo iranski pasoš,
01:05
you're kind of limited to the countries you can go to
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onda ste ograničeni u kojim zemljama možete da odete
01:07
with open arms, you know --
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sa dobrodošlicom, znate --
01:09
Syria, Venezuela, North Korea.
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Sirija, Venecuela, Severna Koreja.
01:11
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
01:14
So anyone who's gotten their passport in America
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A svako ko dobije američki pasoš
01:16
will tell you, when you get your passport,
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će vam reći, kada dobijete pasoš,
01:18
it still says what country you were born in.
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i dalje će da stoji zemlja u kojoj ste rođeni.
01:20
So I remember getting my American passport.
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I sećam se kada sam dobio američki pasoš.
01:22
I was like, "Woohoo! I'm going to travel."
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Bilo je kao : 'Wuhu! Ima da putujem!'
01:24
And I opened it up, it said, "Born in Iran." I'm like, "Oh, come on, man."
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I kada sam ga otvorio, pisalo je 'Rođen u Iranu'. A ja kao: 'Ma daj, čoveče.'
01:27
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
01:29
"I'm trying to go places."
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'Hoću da putujem.'
01:31
But what's interesting is, I've never had trouble
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Ali interesantno je to, da nikada nisam imao problema
01:33
traveling in any other Western countries with my American passport,
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sa putovanjem u ostalim Zapadnim zemljama sa svojim američkim pasošem,
01:36
even though it says, "Born in Iran." No problems.
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iako piše : 'Rođen u Iranu.'. Nema problema.
01:38
Where I've had some problems is some of the Arab countries,
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Dok sam imao nekih problema u nekim arapskim zemljama,
01:41
because I guess some of the Arab countries aren't getting along with Iran either.
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jer pretpostavljam da se neke arapske zemlje takođe ne slažu sa Iranom.
01:44
And so I was in Kuwait recently,
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I bio sam u Kuvajtu skoro,
01:46
doing a comedy show with some other American comedians.
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imao komičarski nastup sa nekim američkim komičarima.
01:48
They all went through, and then the border patrol saw my American passport.
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Svi su prošli, i onda je aerodromska patrola videla moj američki pasoš.
01:51
"Ah ha! American, great."
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' Ah ha! Amerikanac, super.'
01:53
Then he opened it up. "Born in Iran? Wait."
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I onda ga je otvorio. 'Rođen u Iranu? Čekaj.'
01:55
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
01:57
And he started asking me questions.
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I onda je počeo sa pitanjima.
01:59
He said, "What is your father's name?"
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Rekao je: 'Kako ti se zove otac?'
02:01
I said, "Well, he's passed away, but his name was Khosro."
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Rekao sam: 'Pa, preminuo je, ali se zvao Khosro'.
02:04
He goes, "What is your grandfather's name?"
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Pita: ' Kako ti se zove deda?'
02:06
I said, "He passed away a long time ago.
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Rekao sam: ' On je odavno preminuo.
02:08
His name was Jabbar."
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Zvao se Džabar.'
02:10
He says, "You wait. I'll be back," and he walked away.
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Rekao je ' Čekaj. Vratiću se.' i otišao je.
02:12
And I started freaking out,
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Počeo sam da paničim.
02:14
because I don't know what kind of crap my grandfather was into.
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jer ne znam u kakva sranja je moj deda bio.
02:16
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
02:19
Thought the guy was going to come back and be like,
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Mislio sam da će momak da se vrati i biti kao
02:21
"We've been looking for you for 200 years."
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'Tražili smo te 200 godina.'
02:23
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
02:27
"Your grandfather has a parking violation. It's way overdue.
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'Tvoj deda je imao kaznu za parkiranje. Odavno nije plaćeno.
02:30
You owe us two billion dollars."
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Duguješ nam 2 milijarde dolara.'
02:34
But as you can see, when I talk,
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Ali kao što vidite, kada pričam,
02:36
I speak with an American accent, which you would think
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pričam sa američkim akcentom, pa biste onda pomislili
02:38
as an Iranian-American actor,
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da kao iransko-američki glumac,
02:40
I should be able to play any part, good, bad, what have you.
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mogu da igram bilo koju ulogu, dobru, lošu, koju god.
02:43
But a lot of times in Hollywood,
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Ali dosta puta u Holivudu,
02:45
when casting directors find out you're of Middle Eastern descent,
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kada reditelji saznaju da imaš poreklo sa Bliskog Istoka,
02:47
they go, "Oh, you're Iranian. Great.
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onda kažu : 'Oh, ti si Iranac. Super.
02:49
Can you say 'I will kill you in the name of Allah?'"
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Možeš li da kažeš 'Ubiću te u ime Alaha?'"
02:52
"I could say that, but what if I were to say,
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"Mogu da kažem to, šta ako kažem
02:54
'Hello. I'm your doctor?'"
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'Zdravo. Ja sam vaš doktor?'"
02:56
They go, "Great. And then you hijack the hospital."
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Onda kažu : "Super. I onda otmeš bolnicu."
02:59
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
03:04
Like I think you're missing the point here.
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Mislim da propuštate poentu.
03:07
Don't get me wrong, I don't mind playing bad guys.
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Ne shvatite me pogrešno, ne smeta mi da igram loše momke.
03:09
I want to play a bad guy. I want to rob a bank.
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Hoću da glumim lošem momka. Hoću da opljačkam banku.
03:11
I want to rob a bank in a film. I want to rob a bank in a film,
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Hoću da opljačkam banku na filmu. Hoću da opljačkam banku na filmu,
03:13
but do it with a gun, with a gun, not with a bomb strapped around me, right.
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ali sa pištoljem, sa pištoljem a ne sa bombom zalepljenom oko mene,da.
03:16
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
03:18
Because I imagine the director: "Maz, I think your character
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Jer zamišljam reditelja kako kaže :"Maz, mislim da bi tvoj lik
03:20
would rob the bank with a bomb around him."
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opljačkao banku sa bombom oko sebe."
03:23
"Why would I do that?
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"Zašto bih to uradio?
03:25
If I want the money, why would I kill myself?"
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Ako želim pare, zašto bih se ubio?"
03:28
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
03:30
Right.
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Tačno.
03:32
(Applause)
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(Aplauz)
03:35
"Gimme all your money, or I'll blow myself up."
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"Daj mi sav novac, ili ću da se miniram."
03:38
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
03:42
"Well, then blow yourself up.
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"Pa, miniraj se.
03:44
Just do it outside, please."
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Samo uradi to napolje."
03:46
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
03:50
But the fact is, there's good people everywhere.
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Ali je činjenica da svuda ima dobrih ljudi.
03:52
That's what I try and show in my stand-up. There's good people everywhere.
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To i pokušavam da pokažem u svom stanup-u. Svuda ima dobrih ljudi.
03:54
All it takes in one person to mess it up.
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I dovoljna je jedna osoba da to upropasti.
03:56
Like a couple months ago in Times Square in New York,
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Kao na primer, pre mesec dana na Tajms Skveru u Njuroku,
03:59
there was this Pakistani Muslim guy who tried to blow up a car bomb.
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bio je jedan muslimanski Pakistanac koji je probao da eksplodira kola.
04:02
Now, I happened to be in Times Square that night
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Sada, desilo se da sam bio na Tajms Skveru te noći
04:04
doing a comedy show.
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i imao sam komičarki šou.
04:06
And a few months before that, there was a white American guy in Austin, Texas
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I nekoliko meseci pre toga, bio je jedan Amerikanac koji je belac u Ostinu, Teksas
04:09
who flew his airplane into the IRS building,
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koji se zabio svojim avionom u zgradu poreske uprave,
04:12
and I happened to be in Austin that day
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i bio sam tada u Ostinu
04:15
doing a stand-up comedy show.
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i imao sam standup šou.
04:17
Now I'll tell you, as a Middle Eastern male,
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Sada, kažem vam, kao muškarac sa Bliskog Istoka,
04:19
when you show up around a lot of these activities,
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kada se puno puta zateknete pored ovakvih aktivnosti,
04:22
you start feeling guilty at one point.
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u jednom trenutku počnete da se osećate krivim.
04:24
I was watching the news. I'm like, "Am I involved in this crap?"
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Gledao sam vesti. Mislio sam : " Da li sam umešan u ovo?'
04:27
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
04:33
"I didn't get the memo. What's going on?"
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"Nije mi stiglo obaveštenje. Šta se dešava?"
04:35
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
04:37
But what was interesting was, the Pakistani Muslim guy --
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Ali je bilo interesantno to da muslimski Pakistanac --
04:39
see he gives a bad name to Muslims
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vidite, daje loše ime muslimanima
04:41
and Middle Easterners and Pakistanis from all over the world.
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i ljudima sa Bliskog Istoka i Pakistancima iz celog sveta.
04:44
And one thing that happened there was also the Pakistani Taliban
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I jedna stvar koja se desila je ta da je pakistanski Taliban
04:47
took credit for that failed car bombing.
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rekao da je on kriv za neuspelo miniranje automobila.
04:50
My question is: why would you take credit
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Moje pitanje je: zašto bi rekao da si kriv za
04:52
for a failed car bombing?
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neuspelo miniranje automobila?
04:54
"We just wanted to say
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"Samo hoćemo da kažemo
04:56
we tried."
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probali smo."
04:58
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
05:02
"And furthermore,
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"I dalje,
05:04
it is the thought that counts."
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važna je ideja."
05:06
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
05:08
(Applause)
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(Aplauz)
05:15
"And in conclusion, win some, lose some."
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"Da zaključim, negde pobediš, negde izgubiš."
05:17
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
05:19
But what happened was, when the white guy flew his plane into the building,
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Ali ono što se desilo je to da kada belac udari avionom u zgradu,
05:22
I know all my Middle Eastern and Muslim friends in the States
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znam da su svi moji muslimanski i prijatelji sa Bliskog Istoka u SAD-u
05:24
were watching TV, going, "Please, don't be Middle Eastern.
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gledali TV i mislili: "Molim te nemoj da budeš sa Bliskog Istoka.
05:26
Don't be Hassan. Don't be Hussein."
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Nemoj da budeš Hasan. Nemoj da budeš Husein."
05:29
And the name came out Jack. I'm like, "Woooo!
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I ime je izašlo : Džek. I vrisnuo sam 'Vuuuu!
05:32
That's not one of us."
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Nije od naših.'
05:34
But I kept watching the news in case they came back,
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Ali sam nastavio da gledam vesti za slučaj da se vrate,
05:36
they were like, "Before he did it, he converted to Islam."
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i budu kao : "Pre nego što je to uradio, prešao je u Islam."
05:38
"Damn it! Why Jack? Why?"
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"Dođavola! Zašto Džek? Zašto?"
05:43
But the fact is, I've been lucky
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Ali činjenica je da sam imao sreću
05:45
to get a chance to perform all over the world,
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da nastupam u celom svetu,
05:47
and I did a lot of shows in the Middle East.
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i imao sam dosta nastupa na Bliskom Istoku.
05:49
I just did a seven-country solo tour.
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I upravo sam sam završio turneju u 7 država.
05:51
I was in Oman, and I was in Saudi Arabia.
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Bio sam u Omanu, i u Saudijskog Arabiji.
05:53
I was in Dubai.
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Bio sam u Dubaiju.
05:55
And it's great, there's good people everywhere.
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I super je, ima dobrih ljudi svuda.
05:57
And you learn great things about these places.
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I može dosta da se nauči o ovim mestima.
05:59
I encourage people always to go visit these places.
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Ja podržavam ljude da posete ova mesta.
06:01
For example, Dubai -- cool place.
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Na primer, Dubai -- kul mesto.
06:03
They're obsessed with having the biggest, tallest, longest, as we all know.
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Opsednuti su sa time da imaju najveće, najviše, najduže, kao što svi znamo.
06:06
They have a mall there, the Dubai Mall.
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Imaju tamo tržni centar, Dubai Tržni Centar.
06:08
It is so big, they have taxis in the mall.
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Toliko je veliko, da imaju taxi unutar centra.
06:11
I was walking. I heard "Beep, beep."
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Šetao sam. I čuo sam "Bip, bip."
06:13
I'm like, "What are you doing here?"
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Pitao sam :"Šta radiš ovde?"
06:15
He goes, "I'm going to the Zara store. It's three miles away.
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Rekao je:"Idem u prodavnicu Zara. Na 3 milja je odavde.
06:17
Out of my way. Out of my way. Out of my way."
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Skloni se.Skloni se. Skloni se."
06:22
And what's crazy -- there's a recession going on, even in Dubai,
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I ludo je to što je recesija u Dubaiju,
06:24
but you wouldn't know by the prices.
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ali ne biste znali po cenama.
06:26
Like in the Dubai Mall,
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Na primer u Dubai Tržnom Centru,
06:28
they sell frozen yogurt by the gram.
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prodaju smrznuti jogurt na gram.
06:31
It's like a drug deal.
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Kao drogu.
06:33
I was walking by. The guy goes, "Psst. Habibi, my friend."
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Šetao sam i neki lik reče:"Psst. Habibi (dragi), prijatelju."
06:36
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
06:38
"You want some frozen yogurt?
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"Hoćeš malo smrznutog jogurta?
06:41
Come here. Come here. Come here.
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Dođi. Dođi. Dođi.
06:43
I have one gram, five gram, 10 gram. How many gram do you want?"
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Imam jedan gram, 5 grama, 10 grama. Koliko grama hoćeš?"
06:46
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
06:48
I bought five grams. 10 dollars. 10 dollars! I said, "What's in this?"
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Kupio sam 5 grama. 10 dolara. 10 dolara! Rekao sam: "Šta je ovo?"
06:51
He's like, "Good stuff, man. Columbian. Top of the line. Top of the line."
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Rekao je :" Dobra stvar, čoveče. Kolumijski. Najbolje. Najbolje."
06:54
The other thing you learn sometimes
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Druga stvar koju ponekad naučite je
06:56
when you travel to these countries in the Middle East,
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da kada putujete u zemlje Bliskog Istoka,
06:58
sometimes in Latin American countries, South American countries --
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nekada u zemljama Latinske Amerike, zemlje Južne Amerke --
07:00
a lot of times when they build stuff,
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dosta puta kada grade
07:02
there's no rules and regulations.
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nema pravila i regulisanja.
07:04
For example, I took my two year-old son to the playground at the Dubai Mall.
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Na primer, odveo sam svog dvogodišnjeg sina na igralište u Dubai Tržnom Centru.
07:07
And I've taken my two year-old son to playgrounds all over the United States.
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I vodio sam ga na igrališta po celoj SAD.
07:10
And when you put your two year-old on a slide in the United States,
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I kada stavite dvogodišnje dete na tobogan u SAD-u,
07:13
they put something on the slide
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oni stave nešto na tobogan
07:16
to slow the kid down as he comes down the slide.
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da uspori dete dok se spušta.
07:19
Not in the Middle East.
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Ne na Bliskom Istoku.
07:21
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
07:23
I put my two year-old on the slide; he went frrmrmm! He took off.
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Stavio sam svog dvogodišnjaka na tobogan, i krenuo je frrmrmrm! Jurnuo je.
07:26
I went down. I go, "Where's my son?"
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Otišao sam dole. Vrisnuo sam: "Gde mi je sin?"
07:28
"On the third floor, sir. On the third floor."
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"Na trećem spratu, gospodine. Na trećem spratu."
07:30
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
07:33
"You take a taxi. You go to Zara. Make a left."
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"Uzmite taksi. Odite do Zare. Pa skrenite."
07:35
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
07:38
"Try the yogurt. It's very good. Little expensive."
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"Probajte jogurt. Dobar je. Malo skuplji."
07:42
But one of the things I try to do with my stand-up is to break stereotypes.
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Ali jedna od stvari koje pokušavam da uradim sa svojim standup-om je da razbijem stereotipe.
07:45
And I've been guilty of stereotyping as well.
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Takođe sam i kriv za stereotipe.
07:47
I was in Dubai. And there's a lot of Indians who work in Dubai.
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Bio sam u Dubaiju. Ima puno Indijaca koj rade u Dubaiju.
07:50
And they don't get paid that well.
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I nisu dobro plaćeni.
07:52
And I got it in my head that all the Indians there must be workers.
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I po meni je bilo da su svi Indijci radnici.
07:54
And I forgot there's obviously successful Indians in Dubai as well.
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I zaboravio sam očigledno ima i uspešnih Indijaca u Dubaiju.
07:57
I was doing a show,
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Imao sam šou,
07:59
and they said, "We're going to send a driver to pick you up."
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i rekli su:"Poslaćemo vozača da te pokupi."
08:01
So I went down to the lobby, and I saw this Indian guy.
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I otišao sam u predvorje, i video Indijca.
08:03
I go, "He's got to be my driver."
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Mislio sam da je on sigurno moj vozač.
08:05
Because he was standing there in like a cheap suit, thin mustache, staring at me.
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Jer je stojao tamo u jeftinom odelu, sa tankim brkovima, gledajući u mene.
08:08
So I went over, "Excuse me, sir, are you my driver?"
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I otišao sam tamo :"Izvinite, gospodine, da li ste vi moj vozač?"
08:10
He goes, "No, sir. I own the hotel."
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Rekao je:"Ne, gospodine. Ja posedujem ovaj hotel."
08:12
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
08:17
I go, "I'm sorry. Then why were you staring at me?"
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I rekao sam:"Izvinite. Zašto ste me onda gledali?"
08:19
He goes, "I thought you were my driver."
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Rekao sam:"Mislio sam da ste moj vozač."
08:21
(Applause)
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(Aplauz)
08:32
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
08:35
I'll leave you guys with this: I try, with my stand-up, to break stereotypes,
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I ostaviću vas s ovim: Pokušavam, svojim standup-om, da razbijem stereotipe,
08:38
present Middle Easterners in a positive light -- Muslims in a positive light --
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da predstavim ljude sa Bliskog Istoka u pozitivnom svetlu -- Muslimane u pozitivnom svetlu--
08:40
and I hope that in the coming years,
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i nadam se da u dolazećim godinama,
08:43
more film and television programs come out of Hollywood
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da će više filmova i tv programa koji dolaze iz Holivuda
08:45
presenting us in a positive light.
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da nas predstave u pozitivnom svetlu.
08:48
Who knows, maybe one day we'll even have our own James Bond, right.
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Ko zna, možda jednog dana vidimo i našeg Džejms Bonda, da.
08:51
"My name is Bond, Jamal Bond."
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"Moje ime je Bond, Džamal Bond."
08:53
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
08:55
Til then, I'll keep telling jokes. I hope you keep laughing.
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Dotle, i dalje ću da pričam viceve. Nadam se da ćete i dalje da se smejete.
08:57
Have a good day. Thank you.
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Želim vam dobar dan. Hvala vam.
08:59
(Applause)
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(Aplauz)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Maz Jobrani - ComedianA founding member of the Axis of Evil Comedy Tour, Iranian-American comedian Maz Jobrani is now touring with his second solo comedy show, Browner and Friendlier.
Why you should listen
Maz Jobrani is an actor and comedian who starred on the Axis of Evil Middle East Comedy Tour, a groundbreaking tour of the US and Middle Eastern countries, where it sold out 27 shows in Dubai, Beirut, Cairo, Kuwait and Amman. The Axis of Evil Comedy Central Special premiered in 2007 as, arguably, the first show on American TV with an all-Middle Eastern/American cast. In 2009 Jobrani performed in his first solo world tour, called Maz Jobrani: Brown and Friendly, and is currently following up this tour with a second, titled Browner and Friendlier.
Jobrani's comedy pulls from his background as an Iran-born kid raised in Northern California. He pokes fun at cultural stereotypes of all kinds -- starting with the stereotype that Middle Eastern actors can only play a few kinds of roles in Hollywood. He's been working to develop rich characters in a variety of TV shows and films. His next project: Jimmy Vestvood: Amerikan Hero, described as a cross between a Middle Eastern Pink Panther and Bend It Like Beckham.
Maz Jobrani | Speaker | TED.com