TED2007
Daniel Goleman: Why aren't we more compassionate?
丹尼尔·戈尔曼讲述同情心的故事
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《情商》的作者——丹尼尔·戈尔曼，为我们解析为什么我们更多的时候不那么有同情心。
Daniel Goleman - Psychologist
Daniel Goleman, psychologist and award-winning author of Emotional Intelligence and other books on EI, challenges traditional measures of intelligence as a predictor of life success. Full bio
Daniel Goleman, psychologist and award-winning author of Emotional Intelligence and other books on EI, challenges traditional measures of intelligence as a predictor of life success. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:13
You know, I'm struck by how one of the implicit themes of TED
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TED的隐性主题之一是同情心，这让我很受触动。
00:17
is compassion, these very moving demonstrations we've just seen:
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我们已经倾听了这些感人的演说：
00:21
HIV in Africa, President Clinton last night.
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例如昨晚关于非洲艾滋病、克林顿总统等的演讲。
00:25
And I'd like to do a little collateral thinking, if you will,
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而我也想谈一些与同情心相关的想法
00:30
about compassion and bring it from the global level to the personal.
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我会从全球的层面谈到个人的层面。
00:35
I'm a psychologist, but rest assured,
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我是一个心理学家，但请尽管放心，
00:37
I will not bring it to the scrotal.
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我不会谈到阴囊的
00:39
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
00:44
There was a very important study done a while ago
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不久前有一项非常重要的研究
00:46
at Princeton Theological Seminary that speaks to why it is
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在普林斯顿神学院展开，解释了为什么
00:51
that when all of us have so many opportunities to help,
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在我们有如此多的机会可以去助人的情况下
00:54
we do sometimes, and we don't other times.
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我们却时而帮忙，有时不会
00:58
A group of divinity students at the Princeton Theological Seminary
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来自普林斯顿神学院的学生
01:02
were told that they were going to give a practice sermon
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被告知他们将进行一次布道实习
01:06
and they were each given a sermon topic.
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并且分配给每人一个布道的主题
01:09
Half of those students were given, as a topic,
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一半的学生得到的主题是
01:12
the parable of the Good Samaritan:
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关于仁慈心善的人的故事：
01:14
the man who stopped the stranger in --
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关于一个在路边
01:17
to help the stranger in need by the side of the road.
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帮助需要帮助的陌生人的故事
01:19
Half were given random Bible topics.
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另外的一半学生得到的是随机的圣经故事
01:22
Then one by one, they were told they had to go to another building
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他们轮流被告知他们将去另外一栋楼
01:26
and give their sermon.
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去布道
01:27
As they went from the first building to the second,
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在他们去那栋楼的途中
01:30
each of them passed a man who was bent over and moaning,
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他们每个人都经过了一个弯着腰呻吟着的人
01:34
clearly in need. The question is: Did they stop to help?
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显然此人需要帮助。问题是：他们停下来帮忙了么？
01:38
The more interesting question is:
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更有意思的问题是：
01:40
Did it matter they were contemplating the parable
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若他们的主题是关于那个仁慈心善的人的故事对他们的行为有影响吗？
01:43
of the Good Samaritan? Answer: No, not at all.
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结果：一点都没有影响。
01:48
What turned out to determine whether someone would stop
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决定了是否会停下来
01:51
and help a stranger in need
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去帮助有需要的陌生人
01:52
was how much of a hurry they thought they were in --
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完全取决于他们自认为的忙碌程度
01:56
were they feeling they were late, or were they absorbed
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他们感到自己要迟到了，或者是他们全神贯注于
02:00
in what they were going to talk about.
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他们所要谈的内容
02:02
And this is, I think, the predicament of our lives:
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这，我想，就是我们人生的窘境：
02:05
that we don't take every opportunity to help
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我们并不总是去帮助他人，
02:09
because our focus is in the wrong direction.
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因为我们的关注点存在偏差
02:12
There's a new field in brain science, social neuroscience.
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脑科学有一新领域：社会神经科学
02:16
This studies the circuitry in two people's brains
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研究的是人的脑神经元回路
02:20
that activates while they interact.
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在互动过程中激活
02:22
And the new thinking about compassion from social neuroscience
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及关于来自社会神经科学的同情心的新想法
02:26
is that our default wiring is to help.
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是我们
02:30
That is to say, if we attend to the other person,
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这也就是说，如果我们
02:35
we automatically empathize, we automatically feel with them.
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我们不由自主地感动身受，会去同情对方。
02:39
There are these newly identified neurons, mirror neurons,
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新发现的神经元，即镜像神经元
02:41
that act like a neuro Wi-Fi, activating in our brain
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就好像神经无线保真技术一样，在大脑中激活
02:45
exactly the areas activated in theirs. We feel "with" automatically.
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与对方大脑里相同的区域。我们不由自主地与对方“心心相映”了。
02:49
And if that person is in need, if that person is suffering,
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若是那个人需要帮助，若是他正承受痛苦，
02:54
we're automatically prepared to help. At least that's the argument.
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我们不由自主地要去帮他。至少这是论点。
02:58
But then the question is: Why don't we?
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可问题是：为什么我们会不去帮忙呢?
03:01
And I think this speaks to a spectrum
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我认为这有一个范围
03:04
that goes from complete self-absorption,
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从完全的专心致志
03:07
to noticing, to empathy and to compassion.
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到注意对方，再到感同身受，最后同情
03:09
And the simple fact is, if we are focused on ourselves,
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简单的事实是如果我们关注我们自己
03:14
if we're preoccupied, as we so often are throughout the day,
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如果我们像通常一样一整天都更多的关注自身的话
03:17
we don't really fully notice the other.
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我们实际上并没有完全注意到他人
03:20
And this difference between the self and the other focus
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这种对自己和对他人的关注度的差距
03:22
can be very subtle.
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可能是非常细微
03:23
I was doing my taxes the other day, and I got to the point
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有一天我在纳税，当我要
03:27
where I was listing all of the donations I gave,
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列出我的捐赠物时
03:30
and I had an epiphany, it was -- I came to my check
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我在写支票
03:33
to the Seva Foundation and I noticed that I thought,
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给Seva基金会时，我留意到我的想法——
03:36
boy, my friend Larry Brilliant would really be happy
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我的朋友Larry Brilliant一定会因
03:39
that I gave money to Seva.
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我把钱捐给Seva而感到高兴的。
03:40
Then I realized that what I was getting from giving
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于是我意识到我因给予而获得的
03:43
was a narcissistic hit -- that I felt good about myself.
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是自我陶醉——我对自己感到满意
03:47
Then I started to think about the people in the Himalayas
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于是我开始想到在喜马拉雅山脉的人们
03:52
whose cataracts would be helped, and I realized
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他们的白内障将得到医治，我意识到
03:55
that I went from this kind of narcissistic self-focus
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我从这种自我陶醉变成了
03:59
to altruistic joy, to feeling good
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无私的快乐，
04:02
for the people that were being helped. I think that's a motivator.
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因别人受助而快乐。我想这就是一种动力。
04:06
But this distinction between focusing on ourselves
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但关注自己与
04:09
and focusing on others
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关注他人的区别
04:10
is one that I encourage us all to pay attention to.
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是我鼓励咱们大家都去留意的。
04:13
You can see it at a gross level in the world of dating.
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你可以在约会者中粗略了解此情况。
04:17
I was at a sushi restaurant a while back
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前阵子我去了一家寿司店
04:20
and I overheard two women talking about the brother of one woman,
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无意间听到了两位女士在讨论其中一位的兄弟，
04:24
who was in the singles scene. And this woman says,
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这位女士说
04:27
"My brother is having trouble getting dates,
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“我弟弟在寻找伴侣方面有困难，
04:29
so he's trying speed dating." I don't know if you know speed dating?
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所以他现在尝试闪电配对." 不知你们对闪电配对是否了解？
04:31
Women sit at tables and men go from table to table,
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女士们坐在桌边，男士们依次与她们沟通，
04:35
and there's a clock and a bell, and at five minutes, bingo,
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有个时钟和铃铛，每隔五分钟，时间到，
04:39
the conversation ends and the woman can decide
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交流便结束，女士就决定
04:41
whether to give her card or her email address to the man
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是否将其名片或电邮地址给这位男士
04:45
for follow up. And this woman says,
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以便今后联络。这位女士说，
04:47
"My brother's never gotten a card, and I know exactly why.
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“我弟弟从来就没得到过名片。我知道原因何在。
04:51
The moment he sits down, he starts talking non-stop about himself;
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每当他坐下，他就开始不停地谈自己的情况，
04:56
he never asks about the woman."
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从不问对方的情况。”
04:58
And I was doing some research in the Sunday Styles section
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我在《纽约时报》的“周日格调”板块做了一些调查
05:03
of The New York Times, looking at the back stories of marriages --
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关注一些婚姻背后的故事
05:06
because they're very interesting -- and I came to the marriage
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因为他们很有意思。
05:09
of Alice Charney Epstein. And she said
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在调查Alice Charney Epstein的婚姻时，她说
05:12
that when she was in the dating scene,
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当她在约会时，
05:15
she had a simple test she put people to.
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她会给对方一个考验。
05:18
The test was: from the moment they got together,
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这个考验也就是：当他们在一起的时候，
05:20
how long it would take the guy to ask her a question
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要过多久这个男士才会问她一个
05:23
with the word "you" in it.
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带有“你”字的问题。
05:25
And apparently Epstein aced the test, therefore the article.
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显然，Epstein先生通过了考验，所以才有了这篇报道。
05:29
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
05:30
Now this is a -- it's a little test
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这是一个，一个很小的测试
05:32
I encourage you to try out at a party.
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我鼓励你们也去在派对上尝试一下。
05:34
Here at TED there are great opportunities.
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在TED这就就有很多很好的机会。
05:38
The Harvard Business Review recently had an article called
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最近《哈佛商业评论》上有篇文章
05:41
"The Human Moment," about how to make real contact
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题为《人情时刻》，讲述的是如何
05:44
with a person at work. And they said, well,
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在工作时与别人真正地接触。他们称
05:47
the fundamental thing you have to do is turn off your BlackBerry,
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你要做的最基本的事情是关掉黑莓（手机），
05:51
close your laptop, end your daydream
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关闭笔记本，结束白日梦
05:55
and pay full attention to the person.
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然后专心地与对方交流。
05:58
There is a newly coined word in the English language
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英语中有个新造的词汇
06:03
for the moment when the person we're with whips out their BlackBerry
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该词使用的情景是：与我们交谈的人突然掏出黑莓
06:06
or answers that cell phone, and all of a sudden we don't exist.
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或接听来电，然后顷刻间就当我们不存在了。
06:10
The word is "pizzled": it's a combination of puzzled and pissed off.
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这个词语就是“pizzled”。这个词语是由“puzzled（困惑的）”和“pissed off（愤怒）”组合而成的。
06:14
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
06:17
I think it's quite apt. It's our empathy, it's our tuning in
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我想这是挺恰当的。正是我们的同理心
06:24
which separates us from Machiavellians or sociopaths.
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把我们和反社会者区别开来。
06:27
I have a brother-in-law who's an expert on horror and terror --
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我姐（妹）夫是研究恐惧的专家，
06:32
he wrote the Annotated Dracula, the Essential Frankenstein --
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他拥有the Annotated Dracula, the Essential Frenkenstein等著作
06:35
he was trained as a Chaucer scholar,
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他被训练成为乔叟研究学者
06:36
but he was born in Transylvania
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但他出生地是特兰西瓦尼亚
06:38
and I think it affected him a little bit.
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我想这对他有点影响。
06:40
At any rate, at one point my brother-in-law, Leonard,
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不论如何，在某一点上，我的姐（妹）夫，李奥纳多
06:44
decided to write a book about a serial killer.
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下定决心写一本关于一个连续作案的杀人恶魔的书。
06:46
This is a man who terrorized the very vicinity we're in
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书中的这个人多年前给我们的生活带来了恐慌。
06:50
many years ago. He was known as the Santa Cruz strangler.
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他就是圣克鲁斯扼杀者。
06:53
And before he was arrested, he had murdered his grandparents,
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在他被捕之前，他谋杀了他的祖父母，
06:57
his mother and five co-eds at UC Santa Cruz.
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他的母亲及在圣他克鲁兹分校的五位女生。
07:01
So my brother-in-law goes to interview this killer
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所以，我的姐（妹）夫去采访了这位杀人犯。
07:04
and he realizes when he meets him
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当他见到他时，他意识到
07:06
that this guy is absolutely terrifying.
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这个家伙的确令人恐怖。
07:08
For one thing, he's almost seven feet tall.
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一方面，他有将近七英尺高。
07:10
But that's not the most terrifying thing about him.
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但这还不是最让人觉得恐怖的。
07:13
The scariest thing is that his IQ is 160: a certified genius.
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最可怕的是他的智商达到了160，一个绝对的天才。
07:19
But there is zero correlation between IQ and emotional empathy,
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但是智商和情绪的同理心之间毫无关系，
07:23
feeling with the other person.
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同理心是指感同身受的明白他人的感受。
07:25
They're controlled by different parts of the brain.
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它们是由大脑的不同部分控制的。
07:28
So at one point, my brother-in-law gets up the courage
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所以，一方面，我姐（妹）夫鼓起勇气
07:31
to ask the one question he really wants to know the answer to,
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问了一个他真想知道答案的问题。
07:33
and that is: how could you have done it?
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即：你怎么能这么做？
07:36
Didn't you feel any pity for your victims?
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难道你就对受害者没有一点点的同情吗？
07:38
These were very intimate murders -- he strangled his victims.
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这些都是非常亲密的谋杀，他扼死了他们。
07:42
And the strangler says very matter-of-factly,
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这个扼杀者很平淡地回答道：
07:44
"Oh no. If I'd felt the distress, I could not have done it.
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“呃，不的。若我觉得痛苦，我就不会这么做了。
07:49
I had to turn that part of me off. I had to turn that part of me off."
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我得不去考虑这点。我得不去考虑这点。”
07:55
And I think that that is very troubling,
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我觉得这很令人烦扰。
08:01
and in a sense, I've been reflecting on turning that part of us off.
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从某种意义上说，
08:05
When we focus on ourselves in any activity,
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我们在活动中关注我们自己的话，
08:08
we do turn that part of ourselves off if there's another person.
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当有其他人时，我们就不会关注自身
08:12
Think about going shopping and think about the possibilities
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想象一下购物时的情景，想象一下
08:17
of a compassionate consumerism.
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同情消费的可能性。
08:20
Right now, as Bill McDonough has pointed out,
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现在，正如比尔.麦克唐纳所指出的，
08:24
the objects that we buy and use have hidden consequences.
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我们所购买及使用的物品都有潜在的后果。
08:28
We're all unwitting victims of a collective blind spot.
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我们都是共同盲点的不知情的受害者。
08:32
We don't notice and don't notice that we don't notice
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我们没有注意到，且没注意到我们没注意到
08:35
the toxic molecules emitted by a carpet or by the fabric on the seats.
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地毯或椅子织物所放射出来的有毒分子。
08:42
Or we don't know if that fabric is a technological
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或者我们不知道这一织物是技术上的
08:47
or manufacturing nutrient; it can be reused
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或制造业的营养物。它可以被再生使用
08:51
or does it just end up at landfill? In other words,
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还是被丢到垃圾堆里呢？换句话说，
08:53
we're oblivious to the ecological and public health
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我们疏忽了我们购买和使用的产品所带来的生态，公共健康
08:59
and social and economic justice consequences
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及社会经济公正
09:02
of the things we buy and use.
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所带来的结果
09:06
In a sense, the room itself is the elephant in the room,
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在某种意义上，房间本身就是“房中之象”（众所周知，但被某房忽略不提的问题），
09:10
but we don't see it. And we've become victims
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但我们却没看到。于是我们便成了受害者
09:14
of a system that points us elsewhere. Consider this.
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把我们引向它处的体系的受害者。试想一下，
09:18
There's a wonderful book called
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有本好书，题为
09:22
Stuff: The Hidden Life of Everyday Objects.
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《材料：日常用品之隐秘人生》
09:25
And it talks about the back story of something like a t-shirt.
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该书谈的是诸如T恤衫的幕后故事。
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And it talks about where the cotton was grown
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该书谈还到棉花的生产地，
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and the fertilizers that were used and the consequences
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使用的化肥及其对
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for soil of that fertilizer. And it mentions, for instance,
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土壤带来的后果。该书还提到，比如说，
09:37
that cotton is very resistant to textile dye;
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棉花是非常不易织物染色的，
09:40
about 60 percent washes off into wastewater.
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大约百分之60会被随着废水被洗掉。
09:43
And it's well known by epidemiologists that kids
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流行病学家都深知
09:46
who live near textile works tend to have high rates of leukemia.
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住在纺织工厂附近的儿童患白血病的几率很高。
09:52
There's a company, Bennett and Company, that supplies Polo.com,
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有这么一家公司，Bennett and Company,该公司支持着Polo.com网站。
09:57
Victoria's Secret -- they, because of their CEO, who's aware of this,
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维多利亚的秘密——他们，因为他们的首席执行官知道这一点，
10:03
in China formed a joint venture with their dye works
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而在中国建了一家合资企业，他们的染织工厂能
10:07
to make sure that the wastewater
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确保废水
10:09
would be properly taken care of before it returned to the groundwater.
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在流向地下水之前能被适当的处理。
10:13
Right now, we don't have the option to choose the virtuous t-shirt
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现在，我们没有选择这种道德T恤的能力
10:18
over the non-virtuous one. So what would it take to do that?
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而不去选择其它无德产品机会。那怎样才能做到这一点呢？
10:25
Well, I've been thinking. For one thing,
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嗯，我一直在思考这一点。
10:28
there's a new electronic tagging technology that allows any store
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有一项新的电子标签技术可以让任何商铺
10:33
to know the entire history of any item on the shelves in that store.
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了解到该商铺货架上任一商品的完整历史。
10:38
You can track it back to the factory. Once you can track it
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可以追踪其生产工厂。一旦你能追踪到
10:40
back to the factory, you can look at the manufacturing processes
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其工厂，你就能了解其生产过程，
10:44
that were used to make it, and if it's virtuous,
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并知道它是否符合道德标准，
10:48
you can label it that way. Or if it's not so virtuous,
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可以用此方式进行标签。若其不符合道德标准，
10:52
you can go into -- today, go into any store,
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你可去任一家商铺，
10:56
put your scanner on a palm onto a barcode,
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将你手上的扫描仪放在条形码上
10:59
which will take you to a website.
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该条形码将引领你进入一家网站。
11:01
They have it for people with allergies to peanuts.
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有人对花生过敏。
11:04
That website could tell you things about that object.
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这网站可以告诉你关于该物品的情况。
11:07
In other words, at point of purchase,
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也就是说，在购买时，
11:08
we might be able to make a compassionate choice.
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我们也就能够做出一个有同情心的选择。
11:12
There's a saying in the world of information science:
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在信息科学界有一种说法：
11:18
ultimately everybody will know everything.
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最终每一个人都会了解一切。
11:21
And the question is: will it make a difference?
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然而问题是：这有什么不同么？
11:25
Some time ago when I was working for The New York Times,
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有段时间我在《纽约时报》工作，
11:29
it was in the '80s, I did an article
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那是80年代的事情了，我写了一篇文章
11:31
on what was then a new problem in New York --
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谈到纽约的新问题——
11:33
it was homeless people on the streets.
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大街上无家可归的人们。
11:35
And I spent a couple of weeks going around with a social work agency
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我花了数周的时间与一家为无家人员服务的社会工作机构一起工作。
11:39
that ministered to the homeless. And I realized seeing the homeless
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我意识到这些无家可归的人
11:42
through their eyes that almost all of them were psychiatric patients
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大多数都是精神病人
11:47
that had nowhere to go. They had a diagnosis. It made me --
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他们无处可去。他们有诊断的结论。这使我
11:52
what it did was to shake me out of the urban trance where,
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从城市人的恍惚中惊醒，
11:56
when we see, when we're passing someone who's homeless
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当我们经过一个无家可归的，
11:59
in the periphery of our vision, it stays on the periphery.
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一个处在我们视野边缘的人，
12:04
We don't notice and therefore we don't act.
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我们没有注意到，我们也就没有采取任何行动。
12:09
One day soon after that -- it was a Friday -- at the end of the day,
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在那不久后的一天，这是一个周五，工作完后，
12:14
I went down -- I was going down to the subway. It was rush hour
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我正要走下地铁站。正值下班高峰期
12:17
and thousands of people were streaming down the stairs.
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上万人的人流涌下台阶。
12:19
And all of a sudden as I was going down the stairs
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突然，正当我走下梯子时
12:21
I noticed that there was a man slumped to the side,
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我注意到有一个人倒在一边
12:24
shirtless, not moving, and people were just stepping over him --
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没穿上衣，一动不动，人们从他身上跨过
12:29
hundreds and hundreds of people.
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成百上千的人们从他身上跨过。
12:31
And because my urban trance had been somehow weakened,
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因为我的这种“城市人的恍惚”已经减弱，
12:35
I found myself stopping to find out what was wrong.
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我停下来了解出了什么问题。
12:39
The moment I stopped, half a dozen other people
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我刚停步，六七个路人
12:42
immediately ringed the same guy.
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也注意到了他。
12:44
And we found out that he was Hispanic, he didn't speak any English,
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我们发现他是西班牙人，他不说英语，
12:46
he had no money, he'd been wandering the streets for days, starving,
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他身无分文，已经在街上游荡了数天，饥肠辘辘，
12:51
and he'd fainted from hunger.
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最终饿晕了。
12:52
Immediately someone went to get orange juice,
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有人立刻去买了橘子汁，
12:54
someone brought a hotdog, someone brought a subway cop.
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有人拿来了热狗，有人带来了地铁警察。
12:57
This guy was back on his feet immediately.
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不一会儿，这个人就能站起来了。
13:00
But all it took was that simple act of noticing,
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所需要做的仅仅只是去注意罢了。
13:05
and so I'm optimistic.
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所以我还是乐观的
13:06
Thank you very much.
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谢谢大家
13:07
(Applause)
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(掌声)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Daniel Goleman - PsychologistDaniel Goleman, psychologist and award-winning author of Emotional Intelligence and other books on EI, challenges traditional measures of intelligence as a predictor of life success.
Why you should listen
Daniel Goleman brought the notion of "EI" to prominence as an alternative to more traditional measures of IQ with his 1995 mega-best-seller Emotional Intelligence.
Since the publication of that book, conferences and academic institutes have sprung up dedicated to the idea. EI is taught in public schools, and corporate leaders have adopted it as a new way of thinking about success and leadership. EI, and one's "EIQ," can be an explanation of why some "average" people are incredibly successful, while "geniuses" sometimes fail to live up to their promise.
Daniel Goleman | Speaker | TED.com