TED2016
Casey Gerald: The gospel of doubt
凯西·杰拉德: 质疑的福音
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当你发现深信不疑的东西错漏百出之时，你会怎么做？当凯西·杰拉德的宗教抛弃了他，他开始搜寻新的信仰——商业、政府、慈善——然而这些“救世主”却是同样的虚伪。在这个感人的演讲中，杰拉德规劝我们所有人去质疑我们的信仰，并且拥抱不确定性。
Casey Gerald - American
Casey Gerald chronicles the current state of the American Dream and explores ways to sustain it for a new generation. Full bio
Casey Gerald chronicles the current state of the American Dream and explores ways to sustain it for a new generation. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
There we were,
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我们就在那儿。
00:15
souls and bodies packed
into a Texas church
into a Texas church
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灵魂和躯体挤在
一个德克萨斯州的教堂里，
一个德克萨斯州的教堂里，
00:19
on the last night of our lives.
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那是我们人生最后一晚。
00:22
Packed into a room just like this,
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就像现在我们这个房间，
00:25
but with creaky wooden pews
draped in worn-down red fabric,
draped in worn-down red fabric,
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只不过那里都是吱呀响的木长凳，
挂着破烂的红布条，
挂着破烂的红布条，
00:31
with an organ to my left
and a choir at my back
and a choir at my back
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风琴在我的左边，
唱诗班在我的背后，
唱诗班在我的背后，
00:33
and a baptism pool
built into the wall behind them.
built into the wall behind them.
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还有个洗礼池建在后面的墙上。
00:37
A room like this, nonetheless.
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总之就像这个房间。
00:41
With the same great feelings of suspense,
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同样强烈的悬疑之感，
00:45
the same deep hopes for salvation,
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同样深刻的对救赎的渴望，
00:48
the same sweat in the palms
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掌心里同样酸涩的汗水，
00:50
and the same people
in the back not paying attention.
in the back not paying attention.
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后排还有同样一帮心不在焉的人。
00:53
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
00:56
This was December 31, 1999,
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那是1999年的12月31日，
01:01
the night of the Second Coming of Christ,
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那一晚，就我所知，
01:04
and the end of the world as I knew it.
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基督复临人间，世界将临末日。
01:08
I had turned 12 that year
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那时我12岁，
01:09
and had reached the age of accountability.
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到了要负责任的年龄。
01:12
And once I stopped complaining
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我发觉耶稣这时候回来
是如此不公平，
是如此不公平，
01:14
about how unfair it was
that Jesus would return
that Jesus would return
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我正要为我之前所做的一切负责。
01:17
as soon as I had to be accountable
for all that I had done,
for all that I had done,
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但当我停止抱怨的时候，
01:20
I figured I had better get
my house in order very quickly.
my house in order very quickly.
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我想我最好赶紧把家里收拾整齐了。
01:24
So I went to church as often as I could.
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我尽可能多去教堂。
01:26
I listened for silence as anxiously
as one might listen for noise,
as one might listen for noise,
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我害怕四周一片寂静，
就像人害怕噪声一样，
就像人害怕噪声一样，
01:31
trying to be sure that the Lord
hadn't pulled a fast one on me
hadn't pulled a fast one on me
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只为反复地确认上帝没有耍我，
01:34
and decided to come back early.
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提早回来却把我给落下了。
01:36
And just in case he did,
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但是万一他真的早来了，
01:38
I built a backup plan,
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我也有个后备方案，
01:41
by reading the "Left Behind" books
that were all the rage at the time.
that were all the rage at the time.
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是从风靡一时的
《末日迷踪》书里读到的。
《末日迷踪》书里读到的。
01:45
And I found in their pages
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我在文字中看到，
01:47
that if I was not taken
in the rapture at midnight,
in the rapture at midnight,
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假如过了午夜的狂欢，
我却没有被带走，
我却没有被带走，
01:49
I had another shot.
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我还有一次机会。
01:51
All I had to do was avoid
taking the mark of the beast,
taking the mark of the beast,
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我只需要不被冠以异教徒之名，
01:55
fight off demons, plagues
and the Antichrist himself.
and the Antichrist himself.
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击败恶魔，克服瘟疫，
还要打倒反基督者。
还要打倒反基督者。
01:58
It would be hard --
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这会相当难——
02:00
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
02:03
but I knew I could do it.
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但是我相信自己能做到。
02:04
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
02:06
But planning time was over now.
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但是做准备的时间早过了。
02:08
It was 11:50pm.
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已经是晚上11:50。
02:10
We had 10 minutes left,
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我们还剩10分钟，
02:11
and my pastor called us
out of the pews and down to the altar
out of the pews and down to the altar
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牧师让我们从长凳上起身，
走到下面的圣坛，
走到下面的圣坛，
02:14
because he wanted to be praying
when midnight struck.
when midnight struck.
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因为他想让我们在
午夜来临的一刻一起祈祷。
午夜来临的一刻一起祈祷。
02:19
So every faction of the congregation
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于是会众分成几批，
02:21
took its place.
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到了指定位置。
02:23
The choir stayed in the choir stand,
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唱诗班还在小舞台上，
02:24
the deacons and their wives --
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教堂执事和他们的妻子——
02:26
or the Baptist Bourgeoisie
as I like to call them --
as I like to call them --
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其实我更喜欢叫他们
“浸会资产阶级”
“浸会资产阶级”
02:28
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
02:30
took first position in front of the altar.
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在圣坛前的第一排坐下。
02:32
You see, in America,
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你们知道，在美国，
02:34
even the Second Coming of Christ
has a VIP section.
has a VIP section.
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即使是基督复临之夜
都有VIP专座的。
都有VIP专座的。
02:37
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
02:40
(Applause)
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（掌声）
02:45
And right behind the Baptist Bourgeoisie
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而就在浸会资产阶级后面的，
02:47
were the elderly --
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是老一辈的人——
02:49
these men and women whose young backs
had been bent under hot suns
had been bent under hot suns
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这些男人女人年轻的背脊，
在东德州的棉花田里
在东德州的棉花田里
02:54
in the cotton fields of East Texas,
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被炽烈的阳光晒弯了，
02:57
and whose skin seemed to be burnt
a creaseless noble brown,
a creaseless noble brown,
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沟壑纵横的面庞
被灼成了高贵的棕色，
被灼成了高贵的棕色，
03:00
just like the clay of East Texas,
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就像东德州的陶土一样，
03:03
and whose hopes and dreams
for what life might become
for what life might become
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他们对东德州外的生活和世界
那些美好的幻想和梦境，
那些美好的幻想和梦境，
03:05
outside of East Texas
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03:06
had sometimes been bent and broken
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有时比他们的背脊更加残破。
03:08
even further than their backs.
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03:09
Yes, these men and women
were the stars of the show for me.
were the stars of the show for me.
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是的——这些男人女人，
才是我的偶像、明星。
才是我的偶像、明星。
03:14
They had waited their whole lives
for this moment,
for this moment,
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他们为了这一刻等了一辈子，
03:17
just as their medieval predecessors
had longed for the end of the world,
had longed for the end of the world,
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就像他们中世纪的先辈们
渴盼世界末日一样，
渴盼世界末日一样，
03:21
and just as my grandmother
waited for the Oprah Winfrey Show
waited for the Oprah Winfrey Show
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就像我的祖母渴盼
奥普拉脱口秀一样，
奥普拉脱口秀一样，
03:24
to come on Channel 8
every day at 4 o'clock.
every day at 4 o'clock.
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每天四点在第八频道准时播出。
03:28
And as she made her way to the altar,
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当她走向圣坛时，
03:30
I snuck right in behind her,
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我悄悄溜到她身后，
03:32
because I knew for sure
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因为我非常确信，
03:34
that my grandmother was going to heaven.
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我的祖母是要上天堂的。
03:37
And I thought that if I held on
to her hand during this prayer,
to her hand during this prayer,
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我想，假如我在这次祷告中
紧紧握住她的手，
紧紧握住她的手，
03:42
I might go right on with her.
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我可能会跟她一起走。
03:44
So I held on
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于是我抓紧了，
03:46
and I closed my eyes
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我合上双眼，
03:49
to listen,
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倾听，
03:50
to wait.
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等待。
03:52
And the prayers got louder.
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祷告声更大了。
03:54
And the shouts of response
to the call of the prayer
to the call of the prayer
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回应祷告声的叫喊
03:56
went up higher even still.
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同样的更大了。
03:58
And the organ rolled on in
to add the dirge.
to add the dirge.
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风琴响起，与挽歌的声音交织起来。
04:01
And the heat came on to add to the sweat.
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热浪席卷，手心的汗水更加酸涩。
04:03
And my hand gripped firmer,
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我的手攥得更紧了，
04:05
so I wouldn't be the one
left in the field.
left in the field.
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我不想被上帝遗弃。
我的眼睛闭得更紧了，
04:07
My eyes clenched tighter
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04:08
so I wouldn't see the wheat
being separated from the chaff.
being separated from the chaff.
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我不想看到精华被带走，
糟粕被落下。
糟粕被落下。
04:11
And then a voice rang out above us:
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突然一个声音在头顶回响：
04:14
"Amen."
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“阿门。”
04:17
It was over.
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结束了。
04:20
I looked at the clock.
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我看看钟。
04:22
It was after midnight.
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已经过了午夜。
04:25
I looked at the elder believers
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我看着长辈信徒们，
04:27
whose savior had not come,
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他们的救世主没来，
04:30
who were too proud to show
any signs of disappointment,
any signs of disappointment,
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他们太骄傲，以至于
没有展现哪怕一丁点失落，
没有展现哪怕一丁点失落，
04:33
who had believed too much and for too long
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他们笃信得太深、太久，
04:35
to start doubting now.
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现在再怀疑太迟了。
04:39
But I was upset on their behalf.
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但是我为他们感到气愤。
04:42
They had been duped,
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他们被愚弄了，
04:44
hoodwinked, bamboozled,
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被哄骗了，被迷惑了，
04:45
and I had gone right along with them.
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然而我还跟着他们一起受骗。
04:48
I had prayed their prayers,
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我做了他们做的祷告，
04:50
I had yielded not to temptation
as best I could.
as best I could.
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我努力地抵抗心中的欲望。
04:53
I had dipped my head not once, but twice
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我不是一次，而是两次，
04:56
in that snot-inducing baptism pool.
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一头栽到那个让人感冒的洗礼池里。
04:58
I had believed.
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我曾相信过。
05:01
Now what?
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现在怎么办？
05:03
I got home just in time
to turn on the television
to turn on the television
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我回家打开电视，
05:06
and watch Peter Jennings
announce the new millennium
announce the new millennium
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刚好赶上彼得·詹宁斯宣布新千年，
05:09
as it rolled in around the world.
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全世界都在欢庆新年。
05:11
It struck me that it would have
been strange anyway,
been strange anyway,
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我突然发觉，无论怎么想都很奇怪，
05:15
for Jesus to come back again and again
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耶稣要一次又一次复临人间，
05:18
based on the different time zones.
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只是因为各地的时区不一样。
05:19
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
05:27
And this made me feel
even more ridiculous --
even more ridiculous --
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这让我心里感觉更加难受了，
05:30
hurt, really.
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挺受伤的，真的。
05:33
But there on that night,
I did not stop believing.
I did not stop believing.
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但就在那一夜，我没有停止相信。
05:37
I just believed a new thing:
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我只是相信了另一件事：
05:39
that it was possible not to believe.
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就是“不相信也是可能的”。
05:42
It was possible the answers
I had were wrong,
I had were wrong,
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很可能我所知的答案都是错的，
05:45
that the questions themselves were wrong.
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很可能问题本身就是错的。
05:47
And now, where there was once
a mountain of certitude,
a mountain of certitude,
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现在，曾经耸立着的信仰的山峰，
有一股泉水一直流到山脚，
05:51
there was, running right down
to its foundation,
to its foundation,
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05:55
a spring of doubt,
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一股质疑的清泉，
05:57
a spring that promised rivers.
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它注定会成为大江大河。
06:00
I can trace the whole drama of my life
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我人生中所有的戏剧性故事，
06:03
back to that night in that church
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都可以追溯回教堂里那一晚，
06:05
when my savior did not come for me;
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那时我的救世主没有到来；
06:08
when the thing I believed most certainly
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我无比确信的事物，
06:11
turned out to be, if not a lie,
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如果不叫作“谎言”的话，
06:13
then not quite the truth.
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至少也不是什么真理。
06:16
And even though most of you
prepared for Y2K in a very different way,
prepared for Y2K in a very different way,
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虽然你们大部分人
迎接千禧年的方式大不相同，
迎接千禧年的方式大不相同，
06:20
I'm convinced that you are here
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我相信你们在这里，
06:23
because some part of you has done
the same thing that I have done
the same thing that I have done
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就是因为你们有些人
做过与我一样的事情，
做过与我一样的事情，
06:27
since the dawn of this new century,
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新世纪的开端之后的事，
06:30
since my mother left
and my father stayed away
and my father stayed away
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我的母亲去世，
父亲离家出走之后的事，
父亲离家出走之后的事，
06:32
and my Lord refused to come.
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我的救世主没来之后的事。
06:34
And I held out my hand,
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我伸出双手，
06:36
reaching for something to believe in.
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苦苦搜寻一丝能够相信的东西。
06:40
I held on when I arrived at Yale at 18,
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当我18岁时到耶鲁大学时，
我搜寻着，
我搜寻着，
06:44
with the faith that my journey
from Oak Cliff, Texas
from Oak Cliff, Texas
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我相信从德州的小镇一路走来，
06:46
was a chance to leave behind
all the challenges I had known,
all the challenges I had known,
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我有机会摆脱一切
我所历经的困苦与艰难，
我所历经的困苦与艰难，
06:50
the broken dreams
and broken bodies I had seen.
and broken bodies I had seen.
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摆脱那些破碎的梦想、
残疾的躯体。
残疾的躯体。
06:54
But when I found myself back home
one winter break,
one winter break,
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但当我在寒假回到家乡，
06:59
with my face planted in the floor,
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我的头被摁在地上，
07:02
my hands tied behind my back
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双手被紧缚在身后，
07:05
and a burglar's gun pressed to my head,
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强盗的手枪顶着我的脑袋，
07:07
I knew that even the best education
couldn't save me.
couldn't save me.
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我就知道，即使是
最好的教育也救不了我。
最好的教育也救不了我。
07:12
I held on when I showed up
at Lehman Brothers
at Lehman Brothers
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当我2008年到雷曼兄弟实习时，
07:15
as an intern in 2008.
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我也搜寻着。
07:19
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
07:23
So hopeful --
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充满希望——
07:25
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
07:28
that I called home to inform my family
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我兴奋地打电话给家人，
07:30
that we'd never be poor again.
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说我们永远不会再贫穷了。
07:31
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
07:34
But as I witnessed this temple of finance
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但当我眼睁睁看着
这座金融的圣殿
这座金融的圣殿
07:36
come crashing down before my eyes,
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就在我眼前化作断壁残垣，
07:38
I knew that even the best job
couldn't save me.
couldn't save me.
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我就知道，即使是
最好的工作也救不了我。
最好的工作也救不了我。
07:42
I held on when I showed up
in Washington DC as a young staffer,
in Washington DC as a young staffer,
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当我到华盛顿特区
做一个年轻记者时，我搜寻着，
做一个年轻记者时，我搜寻着，
07:48
who had heard a voice
call out from Illinois,
call out from Illinois,
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我听见伊利诺伊州的一个声音：
（指奥巴马竞选演说）
（指奥巴马竞选演说）
07:50
saying, "It's been a long time coming,
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“时间已经过了太久，”
07:53
but in this election, change
has come to America."
has come to America."
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“但就在这次选举，
美国将迎来变革。”
美国将迎来变革。”
07:58
But as the Congress ground to a halt
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但当议会工作彻底停滞，
08:00
and the country ripped at the seams
165
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国家几乎分崩离析，
08:02
and hope and change
began to feel like a cruel joke,
began to feel like a cruel joke,
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所谓希望和变革
都变成了残酷的冷笑话，
都变成了残酷的冷笑话，
08:04
I knew that even
the political second coming
the political second coming
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我就知道，即使是
政治的新生也救不了我。
政治的新生也救不了我。
08:07
could not save me.
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08:09
I had knelt faithfully at the altar
of the American Dream,
of the American Dream,
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我在美国梦的圣坛前
虔诚地跪拜着，
虔诚地跪拜着，
08:14
praying to the gods of my time
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向时代的伟人们祈祷，
08:17
of success,
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祈求成功，
08:18
and money,
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祈求金钱，
08:20
and power.
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祈求权势。
08:22
But over and over again,
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但是每一次，
08:24
midnight struck, and I opened my eyes
175
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午夜的钟声响起，我睁开双眼，
08:27
to see that all of these gods were dead.
176
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看见这些神话全都死去了。
08:31
And from that graveyard,
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从这片坟墓里，
08:32
I began the search once more,
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我再一次开始搜寻，
08:34
not because I was brave,
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不是因为我很勇敢，
08:35
but because I knew
that I would either believe
that I would either believe
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而是因为我知道，我如果没有信仰，
08:39
or I would die.
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我就会死。
08:40
So I took a pilgrimage
to yet another mecca,
to yet another mecca,
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所以我又到了另一处圣地去朝拜，
08:44
Harvard Business School --
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哈佛商学院——
08:45
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
08:48
this time, knowing that I could not
simply accept the salvation
simply accept the salvation
185
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这一次，我知道
我不能简单地接受
我不能简单地接受
学院所给予的救赎。
08:52
that it claimed to offer.
186
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08:53
No, I knew there'd be more work to do.
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不，我知道我有更多事要做。
08:56
The work began in the dark corner
of a crowded party,
of a crowded party,
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一切始于拥挤的派对上的黑暗角落，
09:02
in the late night of an early,
miserable Cambridge winter,
miserable Cambridge winter,
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那是在麻省残酷的初冬的一个深夜，
09:06
when three friends and I asked a question
190
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2036
我和三个朋友问了一个问题，
09:08
that young folks searching
for something real have asked
for something real have asked
191
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2650
一些有真正追求的年轻人
09:11
for a very long time:
192
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1767
长久以来都会问：
09:12
"What if we took a road trip?"
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1674
“我们出去自驾游怎样？”
09:14
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
09:18
We didn't know where'd we go
or how we'd get there,
or how we'd get there,
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我们不知道要去哪儿、怎么去，
09:20
but we knew we had to do it.
196
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但我们知道我们必须启程。
09:23
Because all our lives we yearned,
as Jack Kerouac wrote,
as Jack Kerouac wrote,
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因为我们一生都渴求的，
就像杰克·凯鲁亚克写的：
就像杰克·凯鲁亚克写的：
09:26
to "sneak out into the night
and disappear somewhere,"
and disappear somewhere,"
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3952
“潜入无尽的暗夜，
消失在遥远的天际。”
消失在遥远的天际。”
09:30
and go find out what everybody was doing
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出去看看全国各地的人
09:33
all over the country.
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都在干些什么。
09:35
So even though there were
other voices who said
other voices who said
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所以即使有反对的声音，
09:37
that the risk was too great
and the proof too thin,
and the proof too thin,
202
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2453
说我们冒了太大的险，
也没什么收获，
也没什么收获，
09:40
we went on anyhow.
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我们还是启程了。
09:42
We went on 8,000 miles across America
in the summer of 2013,
in the summer of 2013,
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我们在2013年夏天
跨美国旅行了13000公里，
跨美国旅行了13000公里，
09:48
through the cow pastures of Montana,
through the desolation of Detroit,
through the desolation of Detroit,
205
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3440
走过蒙大拿的奶牛牧场，
走过底特律的废弃都市，
走过底特律的废弃都市，
09:51
through the swamps of New Orleans,
206
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1623
走过新奥尔良的沼泽湿地，
09:53
where we found and worked
with men and women
with men and women
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我们在那找到一些人，
为他们打工，
为他们打工，
09:56
who were building small businesses
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1685
他们创办的小生意，
09:57
that made purpose their bottom line.
209
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2945
把实现目标作为底线。
10:01
And having been trained
at the West Point of capitalism,
at the West Point of capitalism,
210
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2686
在“资本主义的西点军校”
学习过后，
学习过后，
10:04
this struck us as a revolutionary idea.
211
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2104
我们发觉这个想法简直是革命性的。
10:06
(Laughter)
212
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1016
（笑声）
10:07
And this idea spread,
213
595840
1984
这个想法在传播，
10:10
growing into a nonprofit
called MBAs Across America,
called MBAs Across America,
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3738
最终成长为一个非营利组织，
名叫“工管硕士走遍美国”，
名叫“工管硕士走遍美国”，
10:14
a movement that landed me here
on this stage today.
on this stage today.
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这也是我今天能够
站在台上的主要原因。
站在台上的主要原因。
10:19
It spread because we found
a great hunger in our generation
a great hunger in our generation
216
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它能传播是因为
我们在这代人中发现了强烈的渴望，
我们在这代人中发现了强烈的渴望，
10:23
for purpose, for meaning.
217
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2443
渴望实现目标、人生价值。
10:27
It spread because we found
countless entrepreneurs
countless entrepreneurs
218
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2698
它能传播是因为我们在
美国的旮旯角落里，
美国的旮旯角落里，
10:30
in the nooks and crannies of America
219
618039
1908
发现了无数的创业者，
10:31
who were creating jobs and changing lives
220
619971
2453
他们创造工作岗位、
改变他人生命，
改变他人生命，
10:34
and who needed a little help.
221
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1529
他们还需要一点点帮助。
10:37
But if I'm being honest, it also spread
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3286
但是说实话，它能够传播，
10:40
because I fought to spread it.
223
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1702
也因为我拼命地去传播。
10:43
There was no length
to which I would not go
to which I would not go
224
631204
2243
为了传播这福音，
没有什么我不去做的事，
10:45
to preach this gospel,
225
633471
1156
10:46
to get more people to believe
226
634651
2836
为了让更多人相信，
10:49
that we could bind the wounds
of a broken country,
of a broken country,
227
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2399
我们可以治愈
这个破碎的国家的伤口，
这个破碎的国家的伤口，
10:51
one social business at a time.
228
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2157
就依靠一个个小型企业。
10:55
But it was this journey of evangelism
229
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3173
但是就是这个福音传道的过程，
10:59
that led me to the rather different gospel
230
647239
2258
引导我获得一个不太一样的福音，
11:02
that I've come to share with you today.
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2636
今天我就要与大家一起分享。
11:05
It began one evening almost a year ago
232
653867
3212
大概在一年前的一个晚上开始，
11:10
at the Museum of Natural History
in New York City,
in New York City,
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3194
我们在纽约的自然科学博物馆，
11:14
at a gala for alumni
of Harvard Business School.
of Harvard Business School.
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2752
参加哈佛商学院的校友晚宴。
11:18
Under a full-size replica of a whale,
235
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2535
在一头鲸鱼的全尺寸模型底下，
11:21
I sat with the titans of our time
236
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2351
我与这个时代的巨擘并排而坐，
11:23
as they celebrated their peers
and their good deeds.
and their good deeds.
237
671948
2721
他们歌颂着他们的同伴，
还有他们的伟业。
还有他们的伟业。
11:27
There was pride in a room
238
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1284
房间里满是自豪的气息，
11:29
where net worth
and assets under management
and assets under management
239
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2879
这些人名下的资产总额
11:31
surpassed half a trillion dollars.
240
679938
2379
加起来超过了五千亿美金。
11:35
We looked over all that we had made,
241
683196
2007
我们俯看一切的造物，
11:37
and it was good.
242
685863
1165
觉得这是善的。（《圣经》原文）
11:39
(Laughter)
243
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1987
（笑声）
11:42
But it just so happened,
244
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1428
然而事情就这样发生了，
11:44
two days later,
245
692959
1186
两天之后，
11:46
I had to travel up the road to Harlem,
246
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2083
我去到纽约哈林区，
11:49
where I found myself
sitting in an urban farm
sitting in an urban farm
247
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2439
我坐在一个城市农场里，
11:51
that had once been a vacant lot,
248
699918
1785
那里曾是一片废弃停车场，
11:54
listening to a man named Tony
tell me of the kids
tell me of the kids
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2900
听一个名叫托尼的人
讲一些孩子的事，
讲一些孩子的事，
11:57
that showed up there every day.
250
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1558
他们每天都会到那儿去。
11:59
All of them lived below the poverty line.
251
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3323
他们所有人都在贫困线以下。
12:04
Many of them carried
all of their belongings in a backpack
all of their belongings in a backpack
252
712075
3420
很多人把自己一切的财物
都装在背包里，
都装在背包里，
12:07
to avoid losing them
in a homeless shelter.
in a homeless shelter.
253
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2185
生怕在收容所被别人偷走了。
12:10
Some of them came to Tony's program,
254
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3248
有些人来到托尼的农场，
12:13
called Harlem Grown,
255
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1347
名字叫做“哈林成长”，
12:15
to get the only meal they had each day.
256
723677
2347
来获取他们每天唯一的一餐饭。
12:19
Tony told me that he started Harlem Grown
with money from his pension,
with money from his pension,
257
727465
4615
托尼告诉我，他启动“哈林成长”
靠的都是自己的养老金，
靠的都是自己的养老金，
12:24
after 20 years as a cab driver.
258
732954
2253
他当了20年的出租车司机。
12:28
He told me that he didn't give
himself a salary,
himself a salary,
259
736232
2319
他说他没给自己留一分钱，
12:31
because despite success,
the program struggled for resources.
the program struggled for resources.
260
739342
3842
因为虽然项目算是成功，
但资源还是极其匮乏。
但资源还是极其匮乏。
12:35
He told me that he would take any help
261
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2107
他说，他所能找到的任何帮助，
12:38
that he could get.
262
746665
1157
他都会接受。
12:40
And I was there as that help.
263
748490
2646
而我就是去帮助他的。
12:44
But as I left Tony,
I felt the sting and salt of tears
I felt the sting and salt of tears
264
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4295
但当我离开托尼时，
我心中一阵刺痛，泪水沾湿眼角。
我心中一阵刺痛，泪水沾湿眼角。
12:49
welling up in my eyes.
265
757838
1537
12:52
I felt the weight of revelation
266
760509
1965
我感受到了启迪的重担，
12:55
that I could sit in one room on one night,
267
763187
3132
一天晚上我可以坐在房间里，
12:59
where a few hundred people
had half a trillion dollars,
had half a trillion dollars,
268
767206
4102
与价值五千亿美金的几百人
畅谈美好世界，
畅谈美好世界，
13:04
and another room, two days later,
269
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2061
然而两天后的另一个房间里，
13:06
just 50 blocks up the road,
270
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2297
只有50个街区的距离，
13:09
where a man was going without a salary
271
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2244
一个没有薪水的男人
13:12
to get a child her only meal of the day.
272
780897
2894
要为孩子提供每天唯一的一餐饭。
13:16
And it wasn't the glaring inequality
that made me want to cry,
that made me want to cry,
273
784887
3530
然而不是这种刺眼的社会不平等
令我热泪盈眶，
令我热泪盈眶，
13:20
it wasn't the thought of hungry,
homeless kids,
homeless kids,
274
788441
2811
也并不是这些
饥饿、无家可归的孩子们，
饥饿、无家可归的孩子们，
13:23
it wasn't rage toward the one percent
275
791276
1836
也不是对于1%的人的怒火，
13:25
or pity toward the 99.
276
793136
2278
或是对99%的人的怜悯。
13:27
No, I was disturbed
because I had finally realized
because I had finally realized
277
795787
3785
不，我心中不能平静
是因为我终于意识到，
是因为我终于意识到，
13:32
that I was the dialysis
278
800330
2269
这个国家需要一次彻底变革，
13:34
for a country that needed
a kidney transplant.
a kidney transplant.
279
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3197
而我只是小修小补而已。
13:38
I realized that my story
stood in for all those
stood in for all those
280
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3669
我意识到，我的故事代表了一群人，
13:42
who were expected to pick
themselves up by their bootstraps,
themselves up by their bootstraps,
281
810340
2842
人们希望他们能够自力更生，
13:45
even if they didn't have any boots;
282
813206
2146
即使他们一穷二白；
13:48
that my organization stood in
283
816182
1673
我的组织所代表的，
13:49
for all the structural, systemic help
that never went to Harlem
that never went to Harlem
284
817879
3750
是一切基础的、系统的帮助，
却从未到达哈林区，
却从未到达哈林区，
13:53
or Appalachia or the Lower 9th Ward;
285
821653
1945
或是阿巴拉契亚山区和
新奥尔良下九区；
新奥尔良下九区；
13:55
that my voice stood in
for all those voices
for all those voices
286
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4779
我的呐喊代表了一些声音，
14:01
that seemed too unlearned,
too unwashed, too unaccommodated.
too unwashed, too unaccommodated.
287
829098
5143
那些听起来毫无内涵、
未加修饰、格格不入的声音。
未加修饰、格格不入的声音。
14:07
And the shame of that,
288
835273
1265
而这种羞耻感，
14:09
that shame washed over me
289
837721
1387
这种羞耻感洗刷了我，
14:11
like the shame of sitting
in front of the television,
in front of the television,
290
839132
2861
就像那时坐在电视机前的羞耻感，
14:14
watching Peter Jennings
announce the new millennium
announce the new millennium
291
842898
2499
看彼得·詹宁斯宣布新千年，
14:17
again
292
845421
1208
一遍，
14:18
and again
293
846653
1150
一遍，
14:20
and again.
294
848257
1150
又一遍。
14:21
I had been duped,
295
849796
1150
我被愚弄了，
14:24
hoodwinked,
296
852084
1150
被哄骗了，
14:25
bamboozled.
297
853696
1150
被迷惑了，
14:27
But this time, the false savior was me.
298
855403
3074
但是这次，虚伪的救世主却是我自己。
14:31
You see, I've come a long way
from that altar
from that altar
299
859600
3702
你们知道，我从那个圣坛一路走来，
14:35
on the night I thought
the world would end,
the world would end,
300
863326
2096
那个晚上我觉得世界要毁灭了，
14:38
from a world where people spoke in tongues
301
866371
2205
从一个使用各种方言的小镇走来，
14:41
and saw suffering
as a necessary act of God
as a necessary act of God
302
869107
2638
以为苦难是上帝给人类的恩赐，
14:44
and took a text to be infallible truth.
303
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2068
还把它当作信条，当作永恒的真理。
14:46
Yes, I've come so far
304
874314
1525
是的，我的旅程太长了，
14:48
that I'm right back where I started.
305
876607
2536
以至于我一路兜回了原点。
14:52
Because it simply is not true to say
306
880103
2215
因为我们不能简单概括，
14:54
that we live in an age of disbelief --
307
882342
1881
说这个时代没有信仰。
14:56
no, we believe today just as much
as any time that came before.
as any time that came before.
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不，我们与以往任何时候一样
都在相信一些东西。
都在相信一些东西。
15:01
Some of us may believe
in the prophecy of Brené Brown
in the prophecy of Brené Brown
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有些人可能会相信
布琳·布朗或是
托尼·罗宾斯的预言。
托尼·罗宾斯的预言。
15:04
or Tony Robbins.
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15:06
We may believe in the bible
of The New Yorker
of The New Yorker
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我们可能会相信
《纽约客》或是
《哈佛商业评论》的箴言。
《哈佛商业评论》的箴言。
15:08
or the Harvard Business Review.
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15:10
We may believe most deeply
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我们可能无比的相信
15:12
when we worship right here
at the church of TED,
at the church of TED,
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我们在TED的教堂里
所崇拜的事物，
所崇拜的事物，
15:15
but we desperately want to believe,
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但我们极度地想得要信仰，
15:17
we need to believe.
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我们需要信仰。
15:20
We speak in the tongues
of charismatic leaders
of charismatic leaders
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我们模仿
魅力四射的领导者的言谈举止，
魅力四射的领导者的言谈举止，
15:22
that promise to solve all our problems.
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他们承诺解决人类一切问题。
15:24
We see suffering as a necessary act
of the capitalism that is our god,
of the capitalism that is our god,
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我们觉得苦难是
资本主义“上帝”给我们的恩赐，
资本主义“上帝”给我们的恩赐，
15:28
we take the text of technological progress
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我们把科技发展当作信条，
15:31
to be infallible truth.
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当作永恒的真理。
15:34
And we hardly realize
the human price we pay
the human price we pay
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但是我们从来没意识到
我们付出的人道的代价，
我们付出的人道的代价，
15:38
when we fail to question one brick,
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我们不会质疑一块砖头，
15:41
because we fear it might shake
our whole foundation.
our whole foundation.
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因为我们害怕整栋大楼都会倒塌。
15:45
But if you are disturbed
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但如果你对我们习以为常的
这些违背天理的事情
这些违背天理的事情
15:48
by the unconscionable things
that we have come to accept,
that we have come to accept,
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感到心有不安，
15:51
then it must be questioning time.
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质疑的时候就一定来临了。
15:55
So I have not a gospel
of disruption or innovation
of disruption or innovation
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所以我传布的福音
不是什么突破、创新，
不是什么突破、创新，
16:00
or a triple bottom line.
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或是可持续发展。
16:02
I do not have a gospel of faith
to share with you today, in fact.
to share with you today, in fact.
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我甚至没有什么信仰的福音
要与大家分享。
要与大家分享。
16:07
I have and I offer a gospel of doubt.
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我唯有的，就是质疑的福音。
16:12
The gospel of doubt does not ask
that you stop believing,
that you stop believing,
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质疑的福音不是让你停止相信，
16:15
it asks that you believe a new thing:
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它请求你相信一个新东西：
16:18
that it is possible not to believe.
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“不相信也是可能的。”
16:21
It is possible the answers
we have are wrong,
we have are wrong,
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很可能我们所知的答案都是错的，
16:23
it is possible the questions
themselves are wrong.
themselves are wrong.
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很可能问题本身就是错的。
16:26
Yes, the gospel of doubt means
that it is possible that we,
that it is possible that we,
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是的，质疑的福音可能意味着，
我们的存在，在这个舞台上，
在这个房间里，
在这个房间里，
16:30
on this stage, in this room,
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16:33
are wrong.
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全都错了。
16:34
Because it raises the question, "Why?"
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因为它引出了一个问题：
“为什么？”
“为什么？”
16:37
With all the power
that we hold in our hands,
that we hold in our hands,
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我们手上拥有如此强大的力量，
16:40
why are people still suffering so bad?
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为什么还有人在水深火热之中？
16:45
This doubt leads me to share
that we are putting my organization,
that we are putting my organization,
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这种质疑让我做出了一个决定，
我创立的组织，
我创立的组织，
16:49
MBAs Across America,
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“工管硕士走遍美国”，
16:51
out of business.
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要停止运营了。
16:52
We have shed our staff
and closed our doors
and closed our doors
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我们已经解散了员工，
关门大吉了，
关门大吉了，
16:55
and we will share our model freely
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我们把这种模式向所有人开放，
16:57
with anyone who sees
their power to do this work
their power to do this work
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只要他们觉得自己有能力去做，
17:00
without waiting for our permission.
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就不需经过我们的批准。
17:02
This doubt compels me
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这种质疑迫使我
17:05
to renounce the role of savior
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摘掉别人扣在我头上的
“救世主”的帽子，
“救世主”的帽子，
17:07
that some have placed on me,
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17:08
because our time is too short
and our odds are too long
and our odds are too long
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因为我们的人生太短，几率太低，
17:12
to wait for second comings,
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根本等不到基督复临，
17:13
when the truth is that
there will be no miracles here.
there will be no miracles here.
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事实就是，这世上是没有奇迹的。
17:18
And this doubt, it fuels me,
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1744
而这种质疑，它驱动着我，
17:20
it gives me hope
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它给予我希望，
17:22
that when our troubles overwhelm us,
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当困难即将压垮我们，
17:25
when the paths laid out for us
seem to lead to our demise,
seem to lead to our demise,
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4119
当命运的道路看似
要将我们引入歧途，
要将我们引入歧途，
17:30
when our healers bring
no comfort to our wounds,
no comfort to our wounds,
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当我们的救世主无法治愈创伤，
17:34
it will not be our blind faith --
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并不是我们盲目的信仰，
17:37
no, it will be our humble doubt
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而是我们简单的质疑，
17:40
that shines a little light
into the darkness of our lives
into the darkness of our lives
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会向我们生命和世界的黑暗中，
17:44
and of our world
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洒下一点点光明。
17:45
and lets us raise our voice to whisper
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让我们轻声细语，
17:48
or to shout
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呐喊也行，
17:50
or to say simply,
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或是简单的说，
17:52
very simply,
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非常简单的说：
17:53
"There must be another way."
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“一定，还有另一条路。”
17:57
Thank you.
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谢谢。
17:58
(Applause)
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（掌声）
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Casey Gerald - AmericanCasey Gerald chronicles the current state of the American Dream and explores ways to sustain it for a new generation.
Why you should listen
Casey Gerald has witnessed every facet of the American Dream -- from his harrowing childhood in Texas, to his tenure at the heights of America's elite institutions, to his journeys through the cities and towns of the American heartland where he has spent his recent years as cofounder and CEO of MBAs Across America. Now his work as a writer, speaker, and business leader centers on the question: will the American dream survive another generation?
Gerald began his career in economic policy and government innovation at the Center for American Progress, and he has worked as a strategist with startup social ventures such as The Future Project as well as companies like The Neiman Marcus Group.
Born and raised in Dallas, Gerald received an MBA from Harvard Business School, where he delivered the 2014 commencement address, and a BA in Political Science from Yale College. He has been featured on MSNBC, in The New York Times, Financial Times, The Guardian, and he has appeared on the cover of Fast Company, which also named him one of the "Most Creative People in Business." He currently serves on the advisory board of NPR's Generation Listen.
Casey Gerald | Speaker | TED.com