TED2008
John Hodgman: Aliens, love -- where are they?
John Hodman﹕一個有關時間裂縫的小故事。
Filmed:
Readability: 3.6
2,321,311 views
幽默大師 John Hodgman 講述有關外星人﹐物理﹐時間﹐空間的故事﹐經由這些元素﹐我們聽見了一個甜蜜﹐完美的戀愛回憶。
John Hodgman - Expert
John Hodgman is a writer, humorist, geek celebrity, former professional literary agent and expert on all world knowledge. He was the bumbling PC in Apple's long-running "I'm a Mac; I'm a PC" ad campaign. Full bio
John Hodgman is a writer, humorist, geek celebrity, former professional literary agent and expert on all world knowledge. He was the bumbling PC in Apple's long-running "I'm a Mac; I'm a PC" ad campaign. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:18
You all know this story.
0
0
2000
你們都知道這個故事.
00:20
In the summer of 1950,
1
2000
2000
在1950年的夏天,
00:22
Enrico Fermi, the Italian-American physicist
2
4000
2000
Enrico Fermi, 美國的意大利籍物理學家
00:24
and atomic-pile builder,
3
6000
3000
原子反應堆建造者
00:27
went to lunch at Los Alamos National Laboratory
4
9000
2000
在Los Alamos 國家實驗室和一些同事們共進午餐,
00:29
and joined some colleagues there, and asked them a question:
5
11000
3000
他問了一個問題:
00:32
"Where is everybody?"
6
14000
2000
"大家都去了哪?"
00:34
This confused his colleagues, obviously,
7
16000
3000
很顯然,這句話讓大家都很困惑.
00:37
because they were sitting right there with him.
8
19000
2000
因為他們正跟他坐在一起.
00:39
And then he had to clarify that he wasn't talking about them.
9
21000
3000
他不得不解釋說他不是在說他們
00:42
He was talking about the space aliens.
10
24000
3000
而是那些外星人
00:45
You see, this was only a few years after
11
27000
2000
這件事發生在
00:47
the supposed flying saucer crash
12
29000
2000
新墨西哥州的羅斯威爾
00:49
at Roswell, New Mexico.
13
31000
2000
飛碟墜毀事件的幾年之後.
00:51
And even though that turned out to be nothing,
14
33000
2000
雖然結果是沒事
00:53
nothing at all --
15
35000
2000
完全沒事
00:55
(Laughter) --
16
37000
3000
(笑聲)
00:58
merely a downed weather balloon
17
40000
2000
僅僅是天上掉下來的一個氣象氣球,
01:00
piloted by small hairless men
18
42000
3000
被一個張著嘴的無毛人
01:03
with slits for mouths ...
19
45000
3000
駕駛的氣球.
01:06
Still, America had gone saucer-mad,
20
48000
2000
然而, 美國人已經對飛碟發狂了
01:08
even famous scientists
21
50000
2000
即使是正在吃飯的
01:10
who were eating lunch.
22
52000
2000
著名科學家.
01:12
Fermi's reasoning, if I may paraphrase badly,
23
54000
2000
Fermi的推論, 恕我詮釋的不好,
01:14
is that the universe is so vast
24
56000
2000
這宇宙是如此的寬廣
01:16
that it stands to reason,
25
58000
2000
順理成章
01:18
there should be other intelligent life out there.
26
60000
3000
會有其它睿智的生命存在於宇宙中.
01:21
And the universe is so old
27
63000
2000
而且宇宙是如此的古老
01:23
that unless we were the very first civilization ever to evolve,
28
65000
3000
除非我們是第一個進化的文明,
01:26
we should have some evidence of their existence by now.
29
68000
3000
我們現在應該有一些外星人存在的證據.
01:29
And yet, to the best of our knowledge, we are alone.
30
71000
3000
然而, 據我們所知, 我們是孤獨的.
01:32
"Where is everybody?" asked Fermi,
31
74000
3000
"大家都去了哪裡?" Fermi問,
01:35
and his colleagues had no answer.
32
77000
3000
他和他的同事都沒法回答.
01:38
Fermi then went on with the same blunt logic
33
80000
2000
Fermi之後就繼續用這種愚笨的邏輯
01:40
to disprove fairies,
34
82000
2000
去反駁童話,還有
01:42
Sasquatch, God,
35
84000
2000
大腳野人, 上帝,
01:44
the possibility of love --
36
86000
3000
真愛的可能性--
01:47
and thereafter, as you know,
37
89000
2000
再後來, 你也知道,
01:49
Enrico Fermi ate alone.
38
91000
2000
Enrico Fermi自此獨自用餐.
01:51
(Laughter)
39
93000
3000
(笑聲)
01:54
Now,
40
96000
1000
現在,
01:55
I am not a scientist.
41
97000
3000
我不是一名科學家.
01:58
I have never built an atomic pile.
42
100000
3000
我從來沒創造過原子反應堆
02:01
Although, I might argue that, technically,
43
103000
2000
雖然, 我很可能會爭論,技術上講.
02:03
every pile is atomic.
44
105000
2000
任何一個堆都是由原子構成的.
02:05
(Laughter)
45
107000
3000
(笑聲)
02:08
However, with respect, I might point out two possibilities
46
110000
3000
無論如何, 帶著景仰, 我要指出Enrico Fermi也許
02:11
that Enrico Fermi perhaps did not consider.
47
113000
3000
沒有考慮到的兩種可能.
02:14
One is that the aliens might be
48
116000
2000
一種是外星人也許
02:16
very far away.
49
118000
2000
非常非常遠.
02:18
Perhaps, I dare say,
50
120000
2000
大概吧, 我敢說,
02:20
even on other planets.
51
122000
2000
甚至在其它的行星上.
02:23
The other possibility --
52
125000
2000
另一種可能性 --
02:25
(Laughter) --
53
127000
2000
(笑聲)
02:27
is, perhaps, Enrico Fermi himself
54
129000
2000
就是, 有可能 Enrico Fermi本人
02:29
was an alien.
55
131000
2000
就是一個外星人.
02:31
(Laughter)
56
133000
3000
(笑聲)
02:34
Think about it.
57
136000
2000
想像一下.
02:36
Isn't it a little convenient
58
138000
2000
在世界大戰期間,
02:38
that in the midst of the World War, out of nowhere,
59
140000
3000
一個不知道哪裡來的意大利科學家
02:41
suddenly an Italian scientist showed up
60
143000
2000
突然帶著一種可以改變世界的
02:43
with an amazing new technology
61
145000
2000
令人吃驚的新技術
02:45
that would transform everything in the world
62
147000
2000
出現在世界面前,
02:47
and darken the history of the human species forever after?
63
149000
4000
並且自此改變了人類歷史. 這是不是太輕鬆了?
02:51
And isn't it a little strange
64
153000
2000
並且是不是有點奇怪
02:53
that he required no payment for this?
65
155000
3000
他並不要求任何報酬?
02:56
That he asked for only one thing --
66
158000
2000
他只要求一件事:
02:58
a gift of two healthy sperm whales?
67
160000
3000
要兩個健康的抹香鯨作為禮物?
03:01
That's -- that's not true.
68
163000
2000
當然, 那並不是真的.
03:03
But it is strange.
69
165000
2000
不過太怪異了.
03:05
(Laughter)
70
167000
4000
(笑聲)
03:09
And if Enrico Fermi were indeed a space alien,
71
171000
3000
並且如果Enrico Fermi 當時真是一個外星人,
03:12
wouldn't he be the first to have tried to convince
72
174000
2000
他為什麼不先去
03:14
his fellow scientists
73
176000
2000
嘗試說服他身邊的科學家
03:16
that the space aliens are not already here?
74
178000
4000
外星人還沒有來過?
03:20
For it is given in certain UFO-ology
75
182000
2000
對於發表的飛碟學說
03:22
or UFOlogy circles,
76
184000
3000
或者不明飛行物學說,
03:25
that the aliens are already here and have been for millennia;
77
187000
3000
他們認為外星人曾經來訪並且千年之前就曾來過.
03:28
that they have walked among us in disguise,
78
190000
2000
他們帶著偽裝跟我們一起生活,
03:30
observing us, guiding our evolution
79
192000
2000
觀察我們, 引導我們進化
03:32
from ape to man --
80
194000
2000
從猿到人 --
03:34
if you believe in that sort of thing --
81
196000
3000
如果你相信這種東西的話.
03:37
and, occasionally, kidnapping us in their flying saucers
82
199000
3000
並且, 他們偶然把我們綁架到他們的飛碟
03:40
and taking us away to have sex with us in pyramids.
83
202000
3000
並把我們帶到金字塔里發生性關係.
03:43
(Laughter)
84
205000
2000
(笑聲)
03:45
It's a difficult theory to discount,
85
207000
2000
這是一個沒有人相信的深奧的理論,
03:47
I think you'll agree.
86
209000
2000
我想你也這麼認為的.
03:49
(Laughter)
87
211000
2000
(笑聲)
03:51
For even in my own life,
88
213000
2000
即使在我的生活中
03:53
there are memories I have
89
215000
2000
也有些回憶是我很難
03:55
that are difficult to explain --
90
217000
2000
能夠解釋的通的 --
03:57
happenings that are so odd and unaccountably weird,
91
219000
2000
有些事情就那麼非常神奇的,莫明奇妙的發生了.
03:59
that it is difficult to imagine
92
221000
2000
所以很難想像
04:01
they were not the result
93
223000
2000
我們的一生中,
04:03
of prolonged and frequent contact with aliens throughout my life.
94
225000
3000
他們始終堅持並且頻繁的聯繫外星人
04:06
For how else will you explain
95
228000
2000
對於其它你要說的
04:08
the amazing and absolutely true
96
230000
2000
那些我親身經歷的
04:10
close encounters that I had
97
232000
2000
令人吃驚並且絕對真實的遭遇
04:12
and will describe to you now?
98
234000
3000
我現在就告訴你.
04:15
Encounter one: Ocean City, New Jersey, 1980.
99
237000
2000
遭遇一: 1980年 新澤西的歐欣城.
04:17
This was the summer when the special edition of
100
239000
3000
那是個夏天, 正好趕上《第三類接觸》的
04:20
"Close Encounters of the Third Kind" was released.
101
242000
2000
特別版發布.
04:22
And I went on vacation with my parents to the Jersey shore.
102
244000
3000
我和父母一起去新澤西的濱海度假.
04:25
Within 12 hours, I was horribly sunburned,
103
247000
3000
我在12個小時內被嚴重的曬傷,
04:28
just like Richard Dreyfuss in the movie.
104
250000
2000
嚴重的就像電影裡的Richard Dreyfuss.
04:30
(Laughter)
105
252000
1000
(笑聲)
04:31
And so I spent the rest of the vacation
106
253000
3000
所以我剩餘的假期,
04:34
largely sitting outside our little rental house at night,
107
256000
3000
基本上只能在晚上坐在我們租來的小房子外面,
04:37
the sidewalk still warm from the sun,
108
259000
2000
享受人行道殘存的太陽餘溫,
04:39
watching the skies for UFOs.
109
261000
3000
尋找著天空的不明飛行物.
04:42
What did I see? Stars, satellites,
110
264000
2000
我都是看到了什麼? 星星, 人造衛星,
04:44
blinking airplanes -- typical sky junk.
111
266000
3000
閃礫的飛機 -- 典型的天空垃圾.
04:47
Occasionally, kids would come and
112
269000
1000
小朋友們偶爾會過來,
04:48
join me and watch,
113
270000
2000
加入我一起觀察,
04:50
but their necks soon got sore, and they would go off to the boardwalk
114
272000
3000
他們的脖子很快就酸了, 所以他們離開人行道
04:53
to play video games and mingle with humans.
115
275000
3000
去玩遊戲機或找別人玩.
04:56
I was pretty good at the video games. I was not very good at the other part,
116
278000
3000
我曾很擅長游戲機. 但我不擅長別的,
04:59
so I stayed alone with the cosmos.
117
281000
3000
所以我還是一個人跟宇宙呆著吧.
05:02
And that's when it happened.
118
284000
1000
就是在這時發生的,
05:04
An elderly couple came walking down the street.
119
286000
3000
一對老夫婦在街上溜達.
05:07
I would say they were in their late seventies,
120
289000
2000
我覺得他們有七十多了,
05:09
and I would say that they were on a date,
121
291000
2000
還覺得他們在約會,
05:11
because he was wearing a very neat little suit
122
293000
3000
因為他穿著很整潔的套裝
05:14
with a yellow tie -- a brown suit.
123
296000
2000
棕色套裝裡還打著黃領帶.
05:16
And she was wearing a cardigan, because it was now fully night
124
298000
3000
因為並不是深夜, 女士穿了一件羊毛上衣,
05:19
and a chill was coming in off the ocean.
125
301000
2000
涼風從海面上吹過來.
05:21
I remember, for some reason,
126
303000
2000
我記得, 出於某種原因,
05:23
that they were exactly the same height.
127
305000
3000
他們身高相同.
05:26
And then they stopped, and the man turned to me
128
308000
2000
然後他們停住了, 這個男人轉向身
05:28
and said,
129
310000
2000
問我,
05:30
"What are you looking for,
130
312000
2000
"你在看什麼呢?"
05:32
flying saucers?"
131
314000
2000
"飛碟?"
05:34
(Laughter)
132
316000
3000
(笑聲)
05:37
You have to admit, that's a pretty boss piece of detective work
133
319000
2000
你不得不承認, 這個老男人在約會時
05:40
for an old man on a date.
134
322000
2000
非常像一名偵探.
05:42
But what was stranger still --
135
324000
2000
但還有很奇怪的是 --
05:44
and even I realized it at the time,
136
326000
2000
我意識到了在那個時間,
05:46
as a nine-year-old child --
137
328000
2000
作為一個九歲的小孩 --
05:48
was that they stopped at all.
138
330000
2000
他們停下來
05:50
That this old man would interrupt his moonlight stroll
139
332000
2000
這個老男人在跟他女朋友在月光下停下來
05:52
with his sweetheart with the precise reason
140
334000
2000
用一個準確的問題
05:54
of making fun of a child.
141
336000
3000
去跟一個小孩看玩笑.
05:57
"Oh," he said,
142
339000
2000
"哦." 他說,
05:59
"little green men."
143
341000
2000
"小綠人"
06:01
And then his girlfriend joined in, too.
144
343000
3000
這時, 他女朋友也加入進來.
06:04
"There's no such thing as space men," she said.
145
346000
2000
"外星人根本不存在," 她說.
06:06
"There's no such thing."
146
348000
3000
"沒那種東西."
06:09
And then they both laughed. "Ha, ha, ha."
147
351000
3000
然後他們同時哈哈一笑.
06:12
I looked around.
148
354000
2000
我環顧四周.
06:14
The street was entirely empty.
149
356000
2000
街道已經全空了.
06:16
I had stopped hearing the sound of the ocean.
150
358000
2000
我聽不到大海的聲音.
06:18
It was as though time had stopped.
151
360000
3000
彷彿時間停止了.
06:21
I did not know why they were teasing me.
152
363000
2000
我不知道他們為什麼逗我.
06:23
I looked into their strangely angry faces,
153
365000
3000
我觀察他們陌生的臉孔,
06:26
and I remember wondering,
154
368000
2000
並且我感覺很奇怪
06:28
are they wearing rubber masks?
155
370000
2000
他們是不是帶的橡膠面具?
06:30
(Laughter)
156
372000
2000
(笑聲)
06:32
And what would be behind those rubber masks, if they were?
157
374000
3000
躲在面具後面的是什麼?
06:35
Giant, almond-shaped, unblinking eyes?
158
377000
3000
他們是不是有一雙巨大的, 一眨不眨的杏仁一樣的雙眼?
06:39
Slits for mouths?
159
381000
2000
裂縫一樣的嘴巴?
06:41
The old man crooked his finger as though he were firing a gun,
160
383000
2000
這個做了一個開槍的手勢,
06:43
and then he made laser sounds.
161
385000
2000
並且他發出激光槍的聲音,
06:45
"Kew, kew, kew --
162
387000
2000
咻,咻,咻--
06:47
watch out."
163
389000
2000
"小心!"
06:49
And they turned at once and walked away.
164
391000
2000
然後他們轉身接著散步.
06:51
The old man reached out
165
393000
2000
那個老男人伸出
06:53
his knobbly claw
166
395000
2000
他年邁粗糙的手
06:55
for the woman's hand,
167
397000
2000
拉住女人的手,
06:57
and found it, and left me alone.
168
399000
2000
然後留下我一個人.
06:59
Now, you could describe this as a simple misunderstanding --
169
401000
3000
現在, 你可以把這個當成一次簡單的誤會--
07:02
a strange encounter among humans.
170
404000
2000
一個人類之間的奇怪的邂逅.
07:04
Maybe it was swamp gas, but --
171
406000
2000
也許它只是浮雲, 但是 --
07:06
(Laughter) --
172
408000
2000
(笑聲)
07:08
I know what I saw.
173
410000
2000
我知道我看到了什麼.
07:11
Close encounter two: Brookline, Massachusetts, 1984.
174
413000
4000
遭遇二: 1984年馬薩諸塞的布魯克林
07:15
I went to see the movie "Dune,"
175
417000
2000
我去那裡看電影"沙丘"
07:17
and a girl talked to me. Now, on its face --
176
419000
3000
一個女孩跟我搭訕, 從表面上看 --
07:20
(Laughter) --
177
422000
3000
(笑聲)
07:23
this is impossible on its face, I realize --
178
425000
2000
我意識到,這從表面上看是不可能的 --
07:25
but it is absolutely true.
179
427000
2000
但它確實是真的.
07:27
It was opening night, naturally.
180
429000
2000
當時是首場演出. 自然地.
07:29
I went with my friend Tim McGonigal, who sat on my left.
181
431000
3000
我跟我的朋友Tim McGonigal一起去看的, 他坐我左邊.
07:32
On my right was the girl in question.
182
434000
2000
我右邊是問我問題的女孩
07:34
She had long, curly black hair, a blue jean jacket.
183
436000
3000
她有長長的,捲曲的頭髮, 藍色的工服.
07:37
I remember, she had some sort of injury to her ankle,
184
439000
3000
我記得,她的腳有點受傷,
07:40
an Ace bandage, and she had crutches.
185
442000
2000
有綁帶和拐杖.
07:42
She was very tall, I would say.
186
444000
2000
我認為她很高,
07:44
I was starting high school at the time. I would say she was a junior,
187
446000
3000
我那時是高年級學員. 我覺得她應該是低年級的,
07:47
but I had never seen her before. She didn't go to my school.
188
449000
2000
但我從來沒有見到過他. 她也不去我們學校.
07:49
I didn't know her name, and I never will.
189
451000
3000
我不知道她的名字, 而且永遠不會知道
07:52
She was sitting with someone who I presume was her mother,
190
454000
2000
她跟一個像她媽媽一樣的人一起坐著,
07:54
and they were talking about the novel, "Dune."
191
456000
3000
她們正在討論小說<沙丘魔堡>
07:57
They were both big fans, mother and daughter --
192
459000
2000
她們兩個都很喜歡, 媽媽和女兒 --
07:59
very unusual.
193
461000
2000
這很少見
08:01
They were talking about how their favorite characters
194
463000
2000
她們正在討論最喜歡的角色
08:03
were the giant sandworms.
195
465000
3000
是那個巨大的沙蟲.
08:06
And then it got stranger.
196
468000
2000
這時, 事情變的更怪了.
08:08
That's when she turned to me and said,
197
470000
2000
那時, 她轉向我並問道,
08:10
"Are you looking forward to seeing the movie?"
198
472000
3000
"你想看這部電影嗎?"
08:13
(Laughter)
199
475000
2000
(笑聲)
08:15
First of all, I was embarrassed
200
477000
1000
剛開始, 我很尷尬
08:16
because I had not read the novel "Dune" at that time.
201
478000
3000
因為我從來沒讀過小說<沙丘魔堡>.
08:19
I was merely a connoisseur of movies
202
481000
2000
我的影片鑒賞範圍只在於那些
08:21
featuring desert planets, as I still am.
203
483000
2000
充滿沙漠的行星片 現在也是.
08:23
(Laughter)
204
485000
2000
(笑聲)
08:25
But it was also the tone of how she asked the question:
205
487000
2000
但她還是問了很多的問題:
08:27
apropos of nothing, like she didn't even care about the answer,
206
489000
3000
沒什麼實質的東西, 就像她根本不介意答案一樣,
08:30
as though she just wanted to talk to me.
207
492000
3000
彷彿她只是想跟我聊天一樣.
08:34
I did not know what to say. I said, "Yes."
208
496000
2000
我不知道要說什麼. 我只說"是的."
08:37
I did not even turn my head.
209
499000
2000
我甚至都不轉過頭來.
08:40
The movie began.
210
502000
2000
電影開始了.
08:42
I need not remind you that this was David Lynch's version of "Dune,"
211
504000
3000
我不需要提醒你那部電影是大偉林區版的,
08:45
in which all of the characters
212
507000
3000
在所有的角色裡,
08:48
were sexy and deformed at the same time.
213
510000
2000
畸形和性感同時存在.
08:50
(Laughter)
214
512000
2000
(笑聲)
08:52
There was a character called the Third-Stage Guild Navigator,
215
514000
3000
有一個主角覺劇場版航海家,
08:55
which was a kind of giant, floating fetus-creature
216
517000
3000
這是一個巨大的池塘,她孕育著生命
08:58
that lived in a giant tank with this orange mist
217
520000
3000
這個巨大的池塘散發著香橙的
09:01
of psychedelic spice
218
523000
2000
迷幻味道
09:03
swirling around him,
219
525000
2000
環繞著他,
09:05
allowing him to bend space and time.
220
527000
2000
讓他有能力扭曲時間與空間.
09:07
He could never leave the tank
221
529000
2000
並永遠不能離開這個池塘
09:09
or interact with the outside world.
222
531000
2000
或者說與外界有任何联系.
09:11
He had become, in his isolation,
223
533000
2000
他認為,在他的獨立的世界,
09:13
so deformed and so sexy,
224
535000
2000
醜陋與性感是並存的,
09:15
that he had to talk through a kind of old-timey radio
225
537000
3000
他通過一種老式的電台
09:18
to the outside world, and could never touch them.
226
540000
3000
向外界傳播,但是永遠觸及不到他們.
09:21
I mean, I liked him a lot better than the sandworms.
227
543000
3000
我是說,我喜歡他們勝過沙蟲.
09:24
The sandworms were fine, but your favorite character?
228
546000
3000
沙蟲固然好,但要成為我最喜歡的角色?
09:27
Please.
229
549000
2000
算了吧
09:29
When the movie ended,
230
551000
2000
當影片結束,
09:31
everyone seemed very happy
231
553000
2000
每個人洋溢著笑容
09:33
to get up and get out of the theatre as soon as possible.
232
555000
2000
都匆忙的走出了影院.
09:36
Except for the girl.
233
558000
2000
除了一個女孩.
09:38
As I walked out, her pace slowed.
234
560000
2000
當我走過她身邊,她放緩步伐.
09:40
Perhaps it was the crutches,
235
562000
2000
也許她拄著拐杖,
09:42
but it seemed --
236
564000
2000
假裝是這樣--
09:44
(Laughter) --
237
566000
2000
(笑聲)
09:46
it seemed as though she might want to talk to me again.
238
568000
4000
看來她還想和我搭訕.
09:50
When I say it out loud, it sounds so ridiculous,
239
572000
3000
當我說出來,聽起來卻很滑稽,
09:53
but I can only come to the conclusion
240
575000
2000
我只能得出這樣的結論
09:55
that it was what, in the alien abductee community,
241
577000
3000
這是一個外星球社區
09:58
they call a "screen memory":
242
580000
3000
他們稱之為"遮蔽性記憶"
10:01
a ridiculous false recollection designed by their brain
243
583000
3000
大腦給他們一個可笑錯誤的記憶
10:04
to cover up some trauma -- say, of being kidnapped
244
586000
2000
去掩蓋一些創傷--被外星人綁架後
10:06
and flown off to a sex pyramid.
245
588000
2000
飛往金字塔發生性關係.
10:08
(Laughter)
246
590000
2000
(笑聲)
10:10
And so I sure am glad
247
592000
2000
我當然很高興
10:12
I did not slow down to talk to her.
248
594000
2000
所以我並沒有慢下腳步跟她說話.
10:14
I sure am glad I never saw her again.
249
596000
3000
我很高興從那時起我再沒見過她.
10:18
Close encounter three: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania,
250
600000
3000
遭遇三:賓夕法尼亞州的費城,
10:21
1989.
251
603000
2000
1989年
10:23
In the mid-to-late '80s,
252
605000
2000
八十世紀末,
10:25
the novelist Whitley Strieber wrote a book called "Communion,"
253
607000
3000
小說家Whitley Strieber寫了本自傳<交流>,
10:28
in which he described his own lifelong experiences
254
610000
2000
自傳中他描述了
10:30
being abducted by aliens.
255
612000
3000
被外星人綁架的經歷.
10:33
And he also described the phenomenon known in this community
256
615000
2000
還有一些奇怪的現象
10:35
as "lost time,"
257
617000
2000
稱之為"間接性失憶"
10:37
where Whitley Strieber would suddenly become aware
258
619000
2000
Whitley Strieber突然意識到
10:39
that he could not remember the previous ten minutes,
259
621000
3000
他不記得十分鐘以前發生的事,
10:42
or the previous ten hours, or the previous ten days.
260
624000
3000
甚至十小時,十天.
10:45
And would come to the conclusion that that was when the aliens
261
627000
2000
得出的結論是,當外星人
10:47
were taking him and giving him rectal probes.
262
629000
3000
抓住他後給他做直腸探頭.
10:50
(Laughter)
263
632000
2000
(笑聲)
10:52
This book became, naturally, an enormous best-seller.
264
634000
3000
這本書成為史上最牛的暢銷書籍.
10:55
This image by Ted Joseph was from that book,
265
637000
2000
圖片是由Ted Joseph提供,
10:57
and was his, sort of, police sketch
266
639000
3000
圖片從某種意義上
11:00
of what the creatures looked like
267
642000
2000
像警方示意圖
11:02
that Whitley Strieber had described to him.
268
644000
2000
Whitley Strieber說到.
11:04
And it was so successful that they made it into a movie.
269
646000
3000
這是一個非常棒的電影題材.
11:07
And in 1989, the way I remember it,
270
649000
2000
記得在1989年,
11:09
I was in Philadelphia
271
651000
2000
我去費城--
11:11
visiting my girlfriend, and we decided,
272
653000
2000
拜訪我女朋友,我們臨時決定,
11:13
apropos of nothing, to go see this movie.
273
655000
3000
去看電影.
11:16
And the way I remember it, the movie featured these details.
274
658000
3000
我記得,電影展現了許多細節.
11:19
One: Whitley Strieber
275
661000
2000
一:Whitley Strieber
11:21
was played by Christopher Walken.
276
663000
2000
由Christopher Walken扮演.
11:23
Two: the alien was played by a rubber puppet.
277
665000
3000
二:外星人的扮演者是橡膠面具.
11:26
(Laughter)
278
668000
2000
(笑聲)
11:28
Three: there was a surprisingly long
279
670000
3000
三:有一個出乎意料的
11:31
sequence of the film in which the rubber puppet
280
673000
2000
長序列橡膠面具電影
11:33
gives Christopher Walken a rectal probe.
281
675000
3000
給Christopher Walken做直腸探頭.
11:37
Four: this was being shown
282
679000
2000
四:影片正在上映
11:39
in a regular movie theater in Center City, Philadelphia.
283
681000
3000
在費城的各大影院.
11:42
Five: all of which is to say,
284
684000
2000
五:所有人都說,
11:44
they made a movie out of the book, "Communion,"
285
686000
2000
電影是由"交流"改編.
11:46
and it starred Christopher Walken.
286
688000
3000
主角是 Christopher Walken.
11:49
Does something seem strange about this to you?
287
691000
3000
是哪裡出了問題?
11:52
Something odd? Something off? Something wrong with this picture?
288
694000
3000
靈異事件？虛構事物？照片的毛病？
11:55
Think about it. Yes. The answer is:
289
697000
2000
想一想，是的。答案是：
11:57
I had a girlfriend. What?
290
699000
3000
我曾經有個女朋友.瘋了麼?
12:00
(Laughter)
291
702000
3000
(笑聲)
12:03
How did this happen? When did this happen?
292
705000
3000
這是如何發生的?什麼時候發生的?
12:06
I remember walking out of the theater
293
708000
2000
我記得我走出影院
12:08
and becoming suddenly aware of this fact,
294
710000
2000
並突然意識到這是真的,
12:10
as we walked hand in hand,
295
712000
2000
正如我們手牽手漫步,
12:12
and pondering these very same questions.
296
714000
2000
卻思考著同樣的問題.
12:14
And to this day, I have no answer for you.
297
716000
3000
至今,我都無法回答.
12:18
Close encounter four: the Algarve,
298
720000
2000
遭遇四: 阿爾加瓦
12:20
Portugal, 1991.
299
722000
2000
葡萄牙,1991.
12:22
Some years later, I and this woman --
300
724000
2000
許多年過後,我和這個女人--
12:24
we'll call her "Catherine Fletcher" --
301
726000
3000
我們將稱她為“Catherine Fletcher”-
12:27
(Laughter) --
302
729000
3000
(笑聲)
12:30
went traveling through the south of Portugal together.
303
732000
3000
我們穿越葡萄牙南部去旅行.
12:33
We stayed in old, crumbling, walled cities,
304
735000
4000
我們住在古老的搖搖欲墜的圍城裡.
12:37
in tiny little hotels,
305
739000
1000
在小旅館裡,
12:38
and we would climb up to the roof and drink Vinho Verde
306
740000
3000
我們爬到屋頂喝著葡萄牙清酒
12:41
and watch the sun set and play checkers.
307
743000
2000
看日落玩跳棋.
12:43
What? Did we do this? Really? Does anyone do this?
308
745000
3000
什麼?我們做了這些麼?真的麼?有人會做這樣的事情麼?
12:47
We went to some topless beaches.
309
749000
2000
我們去裸體海灘
12:49
Excuse me? No, not in my life.
310
751000
3000
醒醒?我不是在做夢吧.
12:52
For what it's worth, we went to Sagres,
311
754000
2000
不論真偽.我們去了葡萄牙的一個小鎮,
12:54
which was considered, at the time, to be the end of the world.
312
756000
3000
曾經一度﹐人們認為它就是世界的終點
12:57
And there I was chased by a pack of feral dogs on the dock,
313
759000
3000
在那裡我被野狗追咬,
13:00
and the lead dog bit me on the ass,
314
762000
3000
最後領頭的狗咬了我的屁股,
13:03
requiring me to go to a strange Portuguese clinic
315
765000
2000
他們帶我去一個陌生的葡萄牙診所
13:05
and receive an ass shot.
316
767000
2000
接受屁股的治療.
13:07
Make of that what you will.
317
769000
2000
你可以合理的遐想一下.
13:09
(Laughter)
318
771000
1000
(笑聲)
13:10
Our last day in Portugal,
319
772000
2000
在葡萄牙的最後一天,
13:12
we were in the district capital of Faro,
320
774000
3000
我們在葡萄牙的首府,
13:15
and Catherine decided that she wanted to go to the beach
321
777000
2000
Catherine想去海灘轉一圈
13:17
one last time.
322
779000
2000
最後一圈.
13:19
Now, Faro is a bustling little city,
323
781000
2000
Faro是個熱鬧的小城市,
13:21
and to get to the beach, she explained, you would have to take
324
783000
2000
她說去海邊要乘公交車
13:23
a bus and then a boat.
325
785000
2000
再換乘個小船.
13:25
And did I want to come with?
326
787000
2000
你願意跟我一起去麼?
13:27
But I was exhausted and dog-bitten, and so I said, "No."
327
789000
3000
我摸著被咬壞的屁股已經筋疲力盡了,我說"我不去了."
13:30
I remember what she looked like before she left.
328
792000
3000
至今我還記得她黯然離開時失望的眼神.
13:34
The freckles had grown
329
796000
2000
這個雀斑女已經長大
13:36
and multiplied on her face and shoulders,
330
798000
3000
雀斑在她的臉龐和肩頭上倍增,
13:39
clustering into a kind of a tan.
331
801000
2000
匯聚成一種巧克力色.
13:41
A tan, we were both tan --
332
803000
2000
結果我們皮膚都曬成了巧克力色.
13:43
is this true?
333
805000
2000
這是真的嗎?
13:46
Her eyes were extra bright and extra blue, as a result.
334
808000
3000
她的眼睛是藍色的格外的亮,最後.
13:49
She was smiling.
335
811000
2000
她笑了.
13:51
She was a single woman about to go alone into a country,
336
813000
2000
一個單身女人獨自到一個陌生的國家,
13:53
not even speaking the language,
337
815000
3000
甚至沒有相通的語言,
13:56
to travel alone by bus and boat
338
818000
2000
獨自乘著公車和小船去旅行
13:58
to go to a beach she did not know
339
820000
2000
去一個連她自己都不知道在哪的海灘
14:00
or had never seen.
340
822000
2000
或者她從未見過.
14:02
I loved her, and then she went out
341
824000
3000
我愛她,當她走到那個奇怪的
14:05
into that strange, alien land.
342
827000
3000
外星人領域.
14:08
It took me some time to come to my senses.
343
830000
3000
我重新整理了我的思緒.
14:11
I had my own "lost time" moment,
344
833000
1000
我有屬於我的"失憶時段",
14:12
where I woke up and suddenly realized
345
834000
3000
我突然醒了,意識到
14:15
it was very late in the day, almost dinnertime,
346
837000
2000
時間已經不早了,差不多到了晚飯時間,
14:17
and she had not come back.
347
839000
2000
但她還沒回來
14:19
Nervous, I went down to the street to look for her.
348
841000
2000
我感到不安,於是上街去找她.
14:21
Now, I did not speak Portuguese.
349
843000
3000
現在,我不會葡萄牙語.
14:24
I did not know where the beach was.
350
846000
2000
我也不知道沙灘在哪?
14:26
I could not call her on a cell phone because this was 1991,
351
848000
3000
我同樣不能打電話給她因為那是1991年,
14:29
and the aliens had not given us that technology yet.
352
851000
2000
那時外星人也沒給我們這項技術.
14:31
(Laughter)
353
853000
3000
(笑聲)
14:34
I realized that the day would only have
354
856000
2000
我意識到這一天只有
14:36
two possible outcomes:
355
858000
2000
只有兩種可能的結果:
14:38
either Catherine would come back to the hotel,
356
860000
2000
Catherine 自己回到小旅館
14:40
or she would never come back to the hotel.
357
862000
3000
或者她再也不回來了.
14:43
And so I sat down to wait.
358
865000
2000
我只能坐下來等.
14:45
I did not watch the skies, but the very end of the street
359
867000
4000
我沒有注視著天空,而是盯著街道的盡頭
14:49
where the buses and cars and pedestrians
360
871000
3000
那裡的公車汽車和行人
14:52
and little scooters were moving along.
361
874000
2000
和小踏板車在前行著.
14:54
And I watched those constellations shift,
362
876000
2000
我看著那些星球的轉變,
14:56
hoping that they would part and I would see her face.
363
878000
3000
多希望他們能讓我看到你的臉.
14:59
It was at that moment,
364
881000
2000
就在那一刻,
15:01
in that very small town of 30,000 or so,
365
883000
3000
在一個容納30000人的小鎮上,
15:04
that I truly appreciated the vastness of the universe
366
886000
3000
我真正欣賞到宇宙的浩瀚
15:07
and the searching we might do in it.
367
889000
3000
搜尋我們想要的.
15:10
And that's when the Liberians came along.
368
892000
2000
那時利比里亞人走了過來.
15:12
Five young men -- all laughing, happy, traveling together,
369
894000
3000
5個年輕人--他們都開心的笑著同行,
15:15
coming back to this hotel where they were staying.
370
897000
3000
回到他們的住所.
15:18
One of them was named Joseph, and he asked me
371
900000
2000
其中一個名叫Joseph,他問我我來做什麼,
15:20
what was I doing, and I explained.
372
902000
2000
我向他解釋.
15:22
And he said, "Don't worry." He was sure that Catherine would be safe.
373
904000
3000
他說,"不要擔心,"他確信Catherine是安全的.
15:25
But he did not seem so very sure,
374
907000
2000
但他看起來不太確信,
15:27
for he sat down to wait with me.
375
909000
2000
因為他跟我一起坐下來.
15:29
And for the next two hours, they all waited with me:
376
911000
2000
接下來的兩個小時,他們和我一起等待.
15:31
taking turns, going up to their room, coming back,
377
913000
3000
他們輪流來我房間
15:34
telling me jokes, distracting me.
378
916000
1000
講笑話安慰我,分散我的注意力.
15:35
Two hours, they gave me a message.
379
917000
3000
兩小時後,他們給我捎口信.
15:38
We are not alone.
380
920000
2000
我們並不孤獨.
15:40
And then, in the middle of a sentence, at the very birth of twilight,
381
922000
3000
這時,字裡行間之中讓人感到暮光的開始.
15:43
I turned and looked down the street.
382
925000
2000
我轉過身來,看著街上.
15:45
The stars aligned, and she came back.
383
927000
3000
星星排成一排,她回來了.
15:48
She was smiling. She did not understand why I was so worried.
384
930000
3000
她笑著,她並不知道我為何而難過.
15:51
Neither did the Liberians,
385
933000
2000
利比里亞人也不理解,
15:53
although there was a huge amount of relief in their laughter
386
935000
2000
他們的笑聲裡有著很多的寬慰.
15:55
as they clapped us on the back, and went back up to their room
387
937000
3000
他們在心底為我們鼓掌,默默回到房間
15:58
and left us alone in the street, holding hands.
388
940000
3000
讓我們獨自在街上,手牽手.
16:01
An event like this leaves a scar on the memory,
389
943000
3000
這像記憶中的傷痛,
16:04
much like a piece of alien technology
390
946000
2000
被一個叫做"葡萄牙的醫生"的人
16:06
that has been inserted into your buttocks
391
948000
2000
把一塊外星人的高科技
16:08
by a "Portuguese doctor."
392
950000
2000
植入到你的臀部.
16:10
(Laughter)
393
952000
2000
(笑聲)
16:12
And even now, a decade and a half later,
394
954000
2000
即使到現在,15年以後,
16:14
even now that we are married,
395
956000
2000
我們結婚了,
16:16
I look for her still, whenever she is not in the room.
396
958000
3000
我隨時找她時她仍不在房間.
16:19
And even though, I think you'll agree, it is probable
397
961000
3000
我認為你也同意,
16:22
that during the time she was away,
398
964000
2000
很可能是在她外出時,
16:24
she was kidnapped and replaced by an alien clone,
399
966000
2000
被外星人綁架甚至複製,
16:27
I love her and wait for her still.
400
969000
2000
但我會一直愛她,等著她.
16:29
Thank you for your kind attention.
401
971000
2000
感謝您的關注.
16:31
(Applause)
402
973000
3000
(掌聲)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
John Hodgman - ExpertJohn Hodgman is a writer, humorist, geek celebrity, former professional literary agent and expert on all world knowledge. He was the bumbling PC in Apple's long-running "I'm a Mac; I'm a PC" ad campaign.
Why you should listen
You may know him only as the PC in Apple's PC vs. Mac smackdown ads, or as the Daily Show with Jon Stewart's Resident Expert. But John Hodgman has many other claims to fame. He's the author of The Areas of My Expertise, which provides vital and completely fake details on the great lobster conspiracy, hoboes, nine US presidents who had hooks for hands, and how to win a fight; the followup More Information Than You Require; and his newest (and he claims last), That Is All.
He is a contributing writer for the New York Times Magazine; host of the Little Gray Book Lectures, a monthly series that has aired on This American Life; and an actual former professional literary agent.
John Hodgman | Speaker | TED.com