ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Lee Mokobe - Poet
Lee Mokobe is a 20-year-old South African slam poet and co-founder of Vocal Revolutionaries.

Why you should listen

The volunteer-run organization empowers youth in South Africa to fid their voice through poetry and art, offering free workshops, motivational talks, seasonal slams, national/local performances and mentoring. In his own poetry, Mokobe tackles tough social justice and LGBTQ issues. He has performed across three continents and was the youngest and first African coach at the Brave New Voices Festival, which he won in 2015.

More profile about the speaker
Lee Mokobe | Speaker | TED.com
TEDWomen 2015

Lee Mokobe: A powerful poem about what it feels like to be transgender

李·默克比: 关于变性人的感受而震撼人心的一首诗

Filmed:
1,487,336 views

“我是解剖学的谜,一个提出了却无法回答的问题,”诗人,TED讲者 李·默克比这样说道。这个扣人心弦且富有诗意的演说,探讨了有关身份认同和变化的问题。这场深思有关身体,和倾注其中的意义。
- Poet
Lee Mokobe is a 20-year-old South African slam poet and co-founder of Vocal Revolutionaries. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:12
The first time I uttered发话 a prayer祷告
was in a glass-stained玻璃染色 cathedral大教堂.
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我第一次的祈祷
是在装饰着彩色玻璃教堂。
00:18
I was kneeling long after
the congregation集合 was on its feet,
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会众起身,
我长久地跪着
00:21
dip both hands into holy water,
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将双手沁入圣水中,
00:23
trace跟踪 the trinity三位一体 across横过 my chest胸部,
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在胸前划着十字,
00:25
my tiny body身体 drooping下垂
like a question mark标记
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我瘦小的身体低垂
如同一个问号
00:28
all over the wooden pew座位.
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在木制的长椅上。
00:30
I asked Jesus耶稣 to fix固定 me,
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我请上帝解救我,
00:33
and when he did not answer回答
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当他没有回答
00:35
I befriended结识 silence安静 in the hopes希望
that my sin would burn烧伤
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我与寂静为友
希望我的罪恶燃烧
00:38
and salve药膏 my mouth
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我的嘴巴会溶解
00:39
would dissolve溶解 like sugar on tongue,
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就像舌头上的糖,
00:41
but shame耻辱 lingered徘徊 as an aftertaste回味.
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但是羞耻如同后味般徘徊。
00:43
And in an attempt尝试
to reintroduce重新引入 me to sanctity尊严,
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在试图重回神圣,
00:46
my mother母亲 told me of the miracle奇迹 I was,
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我母亲告诉我,我是个奇迹
00:49
said I could grow增长 up
to be anything I want.
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她说我可以成为我想成为的人。
00:52
I decided决定 to
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于是我决定
00:55
be a boy男孩.
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成为一个男孩。
00:56
It was cute可爱.
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这太可爱了。
00:57
I had snapback快速中断, toothless无牙 grin微笑,
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我有快速、没牙的笑容,
00:59
used skinned面皮 knees膝盖 as street credCRED,
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以脱皮的膝盖作为街头信誉,
01:00
played发挥 hide隐藏 and seek寻求 with
what was left of my goal目标.
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用我所剩下的目标去玩捉迷藏。
01:03
I was it.
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我曾是这样。
01:04
The winner优胜者 to a game游戏
the other kids孩子 couldn't不能 play,
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我是游戏赢家
其它孩子无法加入这场游戏,
01:06
I was the mystery神秘 of an anatomy解剖学,
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我是解剖学的奇迹,
01:08
a question asked but not answered回答,
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一个被提出了却又无解的问题,
01:10
tightropingtightroping between之间 awkward尴尬 boy男孩
and apologetic歉然 girl女孩,
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我在举止奇怪的男孩和谦虚的女孩间徘徊,
01:14
and when I turned转身 12, the boy男孩 phase
wasn't deemed认为 cute可爱 anymore.
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当我12岁的时候,
男孩的阶段不再可爱。
01:19
It was met会见 with nostalgic怀旧的 aunts阿姨 who missed错过
seeing眼看 my knees膝盖 in the shadow阴影 of skirts,
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怀旧的姑妈想念我裙摆下的膝盖,
01:25
who reminded提醒 me that my kind of attitude态度
would never bring带来 a husband丈夫 home,
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告诉我,以我这样的态度
是不会找到丈夫的,
01:29
that I exist存在 for heterosexual异性 marriage婚姻
and child-bearing生育.
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我的存在是为了异性婚姻和生孩子。
01:33
And I swallowed吞食 their insults侮辱
along沿 with their slurs辱骂.
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我忍耐、吞下他们的侮辱和诽谤。
01:36
Naturally自然, I did not
come out of the closet壁橱.
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自然地,我没有出柜。
01:39
The kids孩子 at my school学校 opened打开 it
without my permission允许.
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我同校的孩子们未经我允许
打开了这个柜子。
01:42
Called me by a name名称 I did not recognize认识,
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给了我一个我不要的名字
01:44
said "lesbian女同性恋,"
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“蕾丝边” 女同性恋者,
01:46
but I was more boy男孩 than girl女孩,
more Ken than Barbie芭比.
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我比起女孩更像男孩,
我更像是肯而不是芭比。
01:48
It had nothing to do with hating my body身体,
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无关憎恨我的身体,
01:50
I just love it enough足够 to let it go,
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我让它离开是因为太爱它了,
01:53
I treat对待 it like a house,
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我把身体当做一个房子,
01:54
and when your house is falling落下 apart距离,
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当你的房子崩坏倒塌,
01:56
you do not evacuate撤离,
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你不会撤离,
01:57
you make it comfortable自在 enough足够
to house all your insides内部,
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你会把它变成足够舒适
能承载你的所有,
02:01
you make it pretty漂亮 enough足够
to invite邀请 guests宾客 over,
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你会把它变得足够漂亮
能邀请人们做客,
02:03
you make the floorboards地板
strong强大 enough足够 to stand on.
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你会让地板变得坚硬
能够平稳站立。
02:07
My mother母亲 fears恐惧 I have named命名
myself after fading衰退 things.
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我的母亲害怕我以凋谢的事物命名自己。
02:12
As she counts计数 the echoes回声
left behind背后 by Mya Hall大厅,
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她数着那些名字和其身后的回响
米娅·霍尔,
02:15
LeelahLeelah Alcorn奥尔康, Blake布莱克 BrockingtonBrockington.
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莉拉·奥尔康,布莱克·布鲁金顿。
02:18
She fears恐惧 that I'll die without a whisper耳语,
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她害怕我会默默死去,
02:20
that I'll turn into "what a shame耻辱"
conversations对话 at the bus总线 stop.
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我会变成巴士站闲谈人们口中的
“太遗憾了。”
02:23
She claims索赔 I have turned转身 myself
into a mausoleum,
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她说我已经把自己变成了陵墓,
02:26
that I am a walking步行 casket棺材,
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我是一个移动的棺材,
02:28
news新闻 headlines新闻头条 have turned转身
my identity身分 into a spectacle场面,
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新闻头条把我的身份
变成了人间奇观,
02:31
Bruce布鲁斯 Jenner詹纳 on everyone's大家的 lips嘴唇
while the brutality残酷 of living活的 in this body身体
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布鲁斯·詹娜是人们的谈资
然而无情生活在他的身体里
02:34
becomes an asterisk星号
at the bottom底部 of equality平等 pages网页.
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变成平等页面下面的星标。
02:38
No one ever thinks of us as human人的
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没人甚至将我们视为人类
02:41
because we are more ghost than flesh,
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因为比起活着的人,
我们更像鬼,
02:43
because people fear恐惧 that
my gender性别 expression表达 is a trick,
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人们害怕我的性别
像是一个诡计,
02:46
that it exists存在 to be perverse,
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那是违反常情的,
02:48
that it ensnares绊住 them
without their consent同意,
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未经同意就将他们诱捕入网,
02:50
that my body身体 is a feast盛宴
for their eyes眼睛 and hands
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对他们的眼睛和手而言
我的身体是一场盛宴
02:53
and once一旦 they have fed美联储 off my queer同性恋者,
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直到他们受够了我同性恋的古怪,
02:55
they'll他们会 regurgitate喷回 all the parts部分
they did not like.
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他们会吐出那些他们不喜欢的部分。
02:58
They'll他们会 put me back into the closet壁橱,
hang me with all the other skeletons骷髅.
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他们会把我放回衣柜
和其他的骨骼挂在一起。
03:02
I will be the best最好 attraction引力.
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我会成为最受欢迎的奇观。
03:05
Can you see how easy简单 it is
to talk people into coffins棺材,
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可以看见吗?
要把人们说进棺材是多么容易的事情,
03:08
to misspell拼错 their names on gravestones墓碑.
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在墓碑上错误拼写他们的名字。
03:10
And people still wonder奇迹 why
there are boys男孩 rotting腐烂,
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人们仍在寻思为什么男孩们腐烂,
03:13
they go away
in high school学校 hallways走廊
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他们走进高中的走廊
03:15
they are afraid害怕 of becoming变得 another另一个
hashtag井号 in a second第二
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他们担心某一秒突然变成标签
03:18
afraid害怕 of classroom课堂 discussions讨论
becoming变得 like judgment判断 day
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害怕同学们的谈论
变成他们的审判日
03:22
and now oncoming迎面而来的 traffic交通 is embracing拥抱
more transgender变性 children孩子 than parents父母.
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现在,更多陌生人开始拥抱变性孩童
比他们的父母还要容易接受。
03:29
I wonder奇迹 how long it will be
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我不知道这要多久
03:30
before the trans反式 suicide自杀 notes笔记
start开始 to feel redundant,
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直到自杀留言开始变得多余,
03:34
before we realize实现 that our bodies身体
become成为 lessons教训 about sin
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直到我们意识到自己的身体成为
罪恶的教科书
03:38
way before we learn学习 how to love them.
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早于我们了解如何爱自己的身体。
03:40
Like God didn't save保存
all this breath呼吸 and mercy怜悯,
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就像上帝并未存有这些
气息和宽容,
03:44
like my blood血液 is not the wine红酒
that washed over Jesus'耶稣' feet.
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就像我的血液不是泼在
耶稣脚上的葡萄酒。
03:47
My prayers祈祷 are now
getting得到 stuck卡住 in my throat.
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我的祷告卡在喉咙。
03:52
Maybe I am finally最后 fixed固定,
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也许我终于被解救,
03:55
maybe I just don't care关心,
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也许我就是不在乎,
03:57
maybe God finally最后 listened听了 to my prayers祈祷.
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也许上帝终于听到我的祷告。
04:02
Thank you.
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谢谢。
04:03
(Applause掌声)
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(鼓掌)
Translated by Zhiting Chen
Reviewed by Xin Yi Teh

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Lee Mokobe - Poet
Lee Mokobe is a 20-year-old South African slam poet and co-founder of Vocal Revolutionaries.

Why you should listen

The volunteer-run organization empowers youth in South Africa to fid their voice through poetry and art, offering free workshops, motivational talks, seasonal slams, national/local performances and mentoring. In his own poetry, Mokobe tackles tough social justice and LGBTQ issues. He has performed across three continents and was the youngest and first African coach at the Brave New Voices Festival, which he won in 2015.

More profile about the speaker
Lee Mokobe | Speaker | TED.com

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