Veerle Provoost: Do kids think of sperm donors as family?
Veerle Provoost: Empfinden Kinder Samenspender als Familie?
Veerle Provoost studies genetic and social parenthood in the context of donor conception. Full bio
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about the sperm donation?
der Samenspende erzählen?
to as "biological fathers,"
"biologische Väter" bezeichnet,
das Wort "Vater" verwenden?
be using the word "father?"
Sozialwissenschaftlerin
zum Konzept von Elternschaft.
about the concept of parenthood.
about what I learned
was ich gelernt habe,
Kindern geredet habe.
what matters most in a family,
worauf es in in einer Famile ankommt,
ein bisschen anders aussieht.
looks a little different.
of dealing with tough questions.
mit schwierigen Fragen umgehen.
the parents' uncertainties.
die Zweifel der Eltern aufzeigen.
at Ghent University Hospital,
künstlich befruchtet lassen haben,
an denen Befragungen gemacht wurden.
at which we conducted interviews.
mit einbezogen,
did not have good-quality sperm,
keine gute Qualität hatten,
needed to find sperm elsewhere.
Samenzellen woanders herbekommen mussten.
wie Eltern und Familie definieren.
like parenthood and family.
einen Apfelbaum gezeichnet.
philosophical questions
philosophische Fragen stellen
nicht gleich davonliefen.
meine Vorgehensweise.
wie möglich in die Befragung einbringen,
as possible to the interview,
if it were an apple tree?
wenn sie ein Apfelbaum wäre?
for everyone who, in their view,
für jeden, der ihrer Meinung nach
und ihn dahin hängen, wo sie wollten.
and hang it wherever they wanted.
with a parent or a sibling.
mit den Eltern oder Geschwistern an.
started mentioning the donor.
keins der Kinder den Spender.
ihrer Geburt gefragt.
into the family?"
wie du in die Familie gekommen bist?
who have spare seeds.
die Samen übrig haben.
einen für meine Schwester.
mentioning the donor,
den Spender erwähnten,
ihren eigenen Worten, gestellt.
using their own words.
den netten Mann mit den Samen wäre,
for the friendly man with the seeds,
up there with the others.
zu den anderen packen.
auf den Boden legen.
weil dann meine Familie nicht da wäre,
because my family would not be here,
constructed family tales --
Familiengeschichten,
ihren Kindern erzählen.
with family narratives.
who made books --
während der Behandlung.
throughout the treatment.
parking tickets in there.
des Krankenhauses waren darin.
zu finden, um Ihrem Kind,
waren sehr verschieden,
über das Verlangen nach einem Kind
and how deeply loved their child was.
das Kind geliebt wurde.
that these children are doing fine.
dass es diesen Kindern gut geht.
more problems than other kids.
to justify their decisions
ihre Entscheidung
would understand their reasons
ihre Gründe nachvollziehen konnten,
that their children might disapprove
ihre Kinder sie zurückweisen könnten
Elternteil ablehnen.
sehr heteronormativen,
of one mom, one dad
aus einer Mutter, einem Vater
verwandten Kindern besteht.
von einem Teenager erzählen.
aber nicht Teil unserer Studie.
but not part of our study.
with his father,
Streit mit seinem Vater
the parents in our study feared.
unserer Studie Angst hatten.
and they made up.
und sie vertrugen sich wieder.
that is most interesting.
ist das eigentlich Interessante.
with the lack of a genetic link.
fehlenden genetischen Verbindung zu tun.
die etwas andere Familie ist.
is a little different.
alle Eltern vielleicht:
what's best for their child.
das Beste für ihr Kind.
long before they even were parents.
lang bevor sie überhaupt Eltern waren.
to the counselor,
the advice they were given.
die Ratschläge erinnern.
not unless he asks,
außer wenn er danach fragt,
das ist ziemlich anders
von Kindern beantworten.
to children's questions.
"Nein, die kommt von der Kuh."
aus einer Fabrik."
viele Fragen gestellt,
and she's made in the same way.
die genauso gemacht wurde wie ich.
I just go and ask her."
gehe ich einfach zu ihr."
what they had in mind,
it is to be an open-communication family.
offene Kommunizieren in der Familie sei.
sammeln wir zuerst Nachweise.
we gather evidence first.
was genau die Tablette bewirkt
what this pill is doing
der Menschen beeinflusst.
wenn er in der Theorie gut
that is theoretically sound,
that there is evidence for --
das Leben der Patienten verbessert.
improves patients' lives.
would now like to offer you a paradox:
etwas Paradoxes mitgeben:
keine Ratschläge zu befolgen.
mit dem, was falsch lief enden;
der Herzlichkeit dieser Familien.
to the warmth we found in those families.
and the trip to the farmer?
und den Bauernhof?
die zu ihnen passen,
as members of families,
Familienmitglieder erinnern sollen,
are warm relationships.
warme Beziehungen brauchen.
professionals to create those.
um diese herzustellen.
machen es gerade richtig,
we can do with some advice.
einen Rat gebrauchen können.
that works for your family.
die zu ihrer Familie passen.
because you live your family life.
denn sie leben in ihrer Familie.
and your creativity,
und ihre Kreativität,
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Veerle Provoost - BioethicistVeerle Provoost studies genetic and social parenthood in the context of donor conception.
Why you should listen
Veerle Provoost is a professor at the Bioethics Institute Ghent of Ghent University and a member of the Network on Ethics of Families. For her current research she coordinates a team of researchers who work on a study about genetic and social parenthood in the context of donor conception.
Using empirical research methods and Socratic conversation techniques, Provoost studies how professionals and ordinary people reason about health and how they make decisions in health-related contexts. In her courses on empirical research methods for ethics and bioethics, she teaches students how to look beyond mere experiences or general attitudes and to explore the principles and values that guide people's reasoning and decision-making. Her research shows that patients may bring their own sets of principles when making medical decisions, principles that may be very different from what medical staff anticipated and may feature around moral elements that may completely escape the attention of ethicists. For one, the moral reasoning of everyday people is centered more around relationships than around the principles that are at the core of scholarly bioethics.
In her talk TEDxGhent talk, she explains how we can gain valuable insights from families of children conceived with donor sperm and their views about what a family really is. These alternative families teach us what matters most in the decisions we all make for our children, whether or not they are genetically related to us. The parents and children she studied created their own family stories (about how their families were made) in highly diverse but very creative ways. However, some parents thought that they should strictly follow the advice of experts in their communication with their children. Because of that, they discounted their own competence. Based on her research experience, Provoost warns us for the negative effects of problematizing these families. Because no matter what a family looks like, or how it is made, parents should believe in their abilities and their creativity. As they know their families best, they are the real experts in how to find the best way to tell their own family story to their own child.
Veerle Provoost | Speaker | TED.com