Veerle Provoost: Do kids think of sperm donors as family?
Veerle Provoost: Zien kinderen spermadonors als familie?
Veerle Provoost studies genetic and social parenthood in the context of donor conception. Full bio
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met lastige vragen
about the sperm donation?
over de spermadonor?
to as "biological fathers,"
bestempeld als 'de biologische vader',
be using the word "father?"
nu echt het woord 'vader' gebruiken?
about the concept of parenthood.
omtrent ouderschap onderzocht.
about what I learned
met ouders en kinderen.
what matters most in a family,
wat het belangrijkste is in een gezin,
er iets anders uitziet.
looks a little different.
of dealing with tough questions.
waarop zij met lastige vragen omgingen.
the parents' uncertainties.
waarover de ouders onzeker waren.
at Ghent University Hospital,
in het academisch ziekenhuis van Ghent,
at which we conducted interviews.
waarop we hen ondervroegen.
did not have good-quality sperm,
om wat voor reden dan ook niet goed was,
needed to find sperm elsewhere.
uiteraard elders vandaan moesten halen.
like parenthood and family.
als ouderschap en familie definiëren.
een appelboom.
philosophical questions
filosofische vragen stellen
as possible to the interview,
en inhoud naar het interview brengen;
if it were an apple tree?
als het een appelboom was?"
for everyone who, in their view,
die zij als familielid zagen,
and hang it wherever they wanted.
with a parent or a sibling.
met een ouder of broer of zus.
started mentioning the donor.
uit zichzelf de donor.
into the family?"
hoe jij in de familie bent gekomen?"
who have spare seeds.
die extra zaden hebben.
mentioning the donor,
using their own words.
door hun woorden te gebruiken.
for the friendly man with the seeds,
voor de aardige man met de zaden,
up there with the others.
in de stam zou moeten zitten,
because my family would not be here,
want dan zou ons gezin er niet zijn
constructed family tales --
die familieverhalen hadden verzonnen --
naar een boerderij
koeien insemineerde.
with family narratives.
om hun familie op te richten.
who made books --
dat boeken maakte --
throughout the treatment.
van tijdens de behandeling.
parking tickets in there.
van het ziekenhuis zaten erin.
aan je kind te vertellen.
het smachten naar een kind
and how deeply loved their child was.
en hoe geliefd hun kind was.
that these children are doing fine.
dat deze kinderen het prima doen.
more problems than other kids.
dan andere kinderen.
to justify their decisions
hun beslissingen ook rechtvaardigen
would understand their reasons
zouden begrijpen
hadden gecreëerd.
that their children might disapprove
dat hun kinderen het zouden afkeuren
tegen de niet-genetische ouder.
in een zeer heteronormatieve
of one mom, one dad
uit één moeder, één vader
but not part of our study.
maar zat niet in ons onderzoek.
with his father,
the parents in our study feared.
in ons onderzoek vreesden.
and they made up.
en ze legden het bij.
that is most interesting.
die het interessantst is hierin.
with the lack of a genetic link.
met een ontbrekende genetische verbinding.
is a little different.
iets anders is.
komt in alle gezinnen voor.
what's best for their child.
wat het beste is voor hun kind.
long before they even were parents.
bestonden al lang voor zij ouders werden.
voor het eerst zagen,
to the counselor,
the advice they were given.
welk advies hij hen had gegeven.
'Nee, je hebt geen vader.'
not unless he asks,
tenzij hij daar om vraagt,
misschien niet klaar voor.
maar dat verschilt nogal
to children's questions.
van kinderen beantwoorden.
maken ze dat in een fabriek?"
"Nee, koeien maken melk",
gemaakt in een fabriek."
and she's made in the same way.
en zij is ook zo gemaakt.
I just go and ask her."
stel ik die dus gewoon aan haar."
what they had in mind,
it is to be an open-communication family.
het is dat alles besproken kan worden.
we gather evidence first.
verzamelen we eerst bewijzen.
what this pill is doing
that is theoretically sound,
te onderbouwen is,
that there is evidence for --
waarvoor bewijs bestaat --
improves patients' lives.
mensenlevens verbetert.
would now like to offer you a paradox:
een paradox willen geven:
naar adviezen te luisteren.
to the warmth we found in those families.
die we in deze gezinnen aantroffen.
and the trip to the farmer?
en een bezoekje aan de boer.
die voor hen werken,
as members of families,
als gezinsleden,
are warm relationships.
warme relaties nodig heeft.
professionals to create those.
om die te creëren.
we can do with some advice.
kunnen we wel wat advies gebruiken.
that works for your family.
because you live your family life.
want jij leeft jouw gezinsleven.
and your creativity,
en in jouw creativiteit,
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Veerle Provoost - BioethicistVeerle Provoost studies genetic and social parenthood in the context of donor conception.
Why you should listen
Veerle Provoost is a professor at the Bioethics Institute Ghent of Ghent University and a member of the Network on Ethics of Families. For her current research she coordinates a team of researchers who work on a study about genetic and social parenthood in the context of donor conception.
Using empirical research methods and Socratic conversation techniques, Provoost studies how professionals and ordinary people reason about health and how they make decisions in health-related contexts. In her courses on empirical research methods for ethics and bioethics, she teaches students how to look beyond mere experiences or general attitudes and to explore the principles and values that guide people's reasoning and decision-making. Her research shows that patients may bring their own sets of principles when making medical decisions, principles that may be very different from what medical staff anticipated and may feature around moral elements that may completely escape the attention of ethicists. For one, the moral reasoning of everyday people is centered more around relationships than around the principles that are at the core of scholarly bioethics.
In her talk TEDxGhent talk, she explains how we can gain valuable insights from families of children conceived with donor sperm and their views about what a family really is. These alternative families teach us what matters most in the decisions we all make for our children, whether or not they are genetically related to us. The parents and children she studied created their own family stories (about how their families were made) in highly diverse but very creative ways. However, some parents thought that they should strictly follow the advice of experts in their communication with their children. Because of that, they discounted their own competence. Based on her research experience, Provoost warns us for the negative effects of problematizing these families. Because no matter what a family looks like, or how it is made, parents should believe in their abilities and their creativity. As they know their families best, they are the real experts in how to find the best way to tell their own family story to their own child.
Veerle Provoost | Speaker | TED.com