Veerle Provoost: Do kids think of sperm donors as family?
Veerle Provoost: Çocuklar sperm donörlerini aileleri olarak görüyor mu?
Veerle Provoost studies genetic and social parenthood in the context of donor conception. Full bio
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about the sperm donation?
bahsetmeli miyiz?
to as "biological fathers,"
"biyolojik babalar'' olarak adlandırılır,
be using the word "father?"
kelimesini kullanmalı mıyız?
about the concept of parenthood.
bu sorular üzerinde çalışmaktayım.
about what I learned
ebeveynler ve çocuklar ile konuştuğumda
what matters most in a family,
bulduklarını göstereceğim,
looks a little different.
biraz farklı görünse bile.
of dealing with tough questions.
yaratıcı yollarını göstereceğim.
the parents' uncertainties.
tereddütlerini de göstereceğim.
at Ghent University Hospital,
doğurganlık tedavisi alan
at which we conducted interviews.
iki noktayı görebilirsiniz.
did not have good-quality sperm,
needed to find sperm elsewhere.
de çalışmaya dâhil ettik.
like parenthood and family.
nasıl tanımladıklarını bilmek istedim.
elma ağacı çizdim.
philosophical questions
as possible to the interview,
ve içerik yüklüyorum,
if it were an apple tree?
nasıl görünürdü?
for everyone who, in their view,
aile bireyi olan birisi için,
and hang it wherever they wanted.
ve istedikleri yere asarlardı.
with a parent or a sibling.
ya da kardeşle başladı.
started mentioning the donor.
donörden bahsetmedi.
into the family?"
anlatabilir misin?'' dedim.
who have spare seeds.
arkadaş canlısı adamlar var.
mentioning the donor,
bahsetmeye başladıklarında,
using their own words.
donörle ilgili sorular sordum.
for the friendly man with the seeds,
arkadaş canlısı adam için olsaydı,
up there with the others.
yukarı koymayacağım.
because my family would not be here,
çünkü ailem burada olamazdı,
constructed family tales --
masallar oluşturmuştu,
izleterek açıkladı.
with family narratives.
''kendince'' anlatmaları
who made books --
throughout the treatment.
gerçek sanat eserleri...
parking tickets in there.
biletleri bile vardı.
oldukça farklıydı
and how deeply loved their child was.
sevdikleriyle ilgiliydi.
that these children are doing fine.
çocukların iyi olduklarını gösteriyor.
more problems than other kids.
daha fazla problemleri yok.
to justify their decisions
anlattıkları hikâyelerle de
would understand their reasons
yaratmak istediklerini
that their children might disapprove
onaylamayacağı ve biyolojik olmayan
ebeveynlerini reddedeceği korkusu vardı.
of one mom, one dad
bağlantılı çocukları oluşturur.
bahsetmek istiyorum.
but not part of our study.
Çalışmamız kapsamında değildi.
with his father,
the parents in our study feared.
tam olarak korktukları da buydu.
and they made up.
kötü hissetti ve barıştılar.
that is most interesting.
with the lack of a genetic link.
bağ ile hiçbir ilgisi yok.
olduğunu düşünmemeliyiz.
is a little different.
what's best for their child.
çocukları için en iyisini istediler.
long before they even were parents.
bu konuda tereddütleri vardı.
to the counselor,
the advice they were given.
hâlâ hatırlıyorlar.
not unless he asks,
bir şey söylemeyeceğiz.
to children's questions.
diye yanıtlarız
and she's made in the same way.
bir arkadaşım var.
I just go and ask her."
what they had in mind,
önemli olduğunu söyleyen danışman
it is to be an open-communication family.
we gather evidence first.
önce delil toplarız.
what this pill is doing
bilmek isteriz.
that is theoretically sound,
that there is evidence for --
iyileştirecek
improves patients' lives.
would now like to offer you a paradox:
tavsiye ediyorum.
anlatmayı burada bitirmeyeceğim.
to the warmth we found in those families.
etmek istemem.
and the trip to the farmer?
ziyaretleri hatırlıyor musunuz?
yürüyen şeyler yaptıklarında
as members of families,
hatırlamanızı isterim ki
are warm relationships.
sıcak ilişkilerdir.
professionals to create those.
uzman olmamıza gerek yok.
we can do with some advice.
that works for your family.
because you live your family life.
çünkü bu aile yaşantısı sizin.
and your creativity,
yaratıcılığınıza inanın,
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Veerle Provoost - BioethicistVeerle Provoost studies genetic and social parenthood in the context of donor conception.
Why you should listen
Veerle Provoost is a professor at the Bioethics Institute Ghent of Ghent University and a member of the Network on Ethics of Families. For her current research she coordinates a team of researchers who work on a study about genetic and social parenthood in the context of donor conception.
Using empirical research methods and Socratic conversation techniques, Provoost studies how professionals and ordinary people reason about health and how they make decisions in health-related contexts. In her courses on empirical research methods for ethics and bioethics, she teaches students how to look beyond mere experiences or general attitudes and to explore the principles and values that guide people's reasoning and decision-making. Her research shows that patients may bring their own sets of principles when making medical decisions, principles that may be very different from what medical staff anticipated and may feature around moral elements that may completely escape the attention of ethicists. For one, the moral reasoning of everyday people is centered more around relationships than around the principles that are at the core of scholarly bioethics.
In her talk TEDxGhent talk, she explains how we can gain valuable insights from families of children conceived with donor sperm and their views about what a family really is. These alternative families teach us what matters most in the decisions we all make for our children, whether or not they are genetically related to us. The parents and children she studied created their own family stories (about how their families were made) in highly diverse but very creative ways. However, some parents thought that they should strictly follow the advice of experts in their communication with their children. Because of that, they discounted their own competence. Based on her research experience, Provoost warns us for the negative effects of problematizing these families. Because no matter what a family looks like, or how it is made, parents should believe in their abilities and their creativity. As they know their families best, they are the real experts in how to find the best way to tell their own family story to their own child.
Veerle Provoost | Speaker | TED.com