Veerle Provoost: Do kids think of sperm donors as family?
Veerle Provoost: Czy dzieci uznają dawców nasienia za członków rodziny?
Veerle Provoost studies genetic and social parenthood in the context of donor conception. Full bio
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stoją ciężkie decyzje.
about the sperm donation?
to as "biological fathers,"
mianem "ojca biologicznego",
be using the word "father?"
właściwy tutaj termin?
about the concept of parenthood.
about what I learned
z rodzicami i dziećmi.
what matters most in a family,
co się liczy w rodzinie,
looks a little different.
jest nieco specyficzna.
of dealing with tough questions.
odpowiadają na trudne pytania,
the parents' uncertainties.
co w tych rodzicach budzi niepewność.
at Ghent University Hospital,
szpitala uniwersyteckiego w Gandawie,
przeprowadzaliśmy dwie rozmowy.
at which we conducted interviews.
did not have good-quality sperm,
z jakością nasienia mężczyzny,
needed to find sperm elsewhere.
potrzebowały dawcy.
like parenthood and family.
takie jak "rodzic" i "rodzina".
philosophical questions
abstrakcyjne, filozoficzne pytania,
as possible to the interview,
interpretacji i znaczenia,
określiły to na swój sposób.
if it were an apple tree?
for everyone who, in their view,
stanowi członka rodziny,
and hang it wherever they wanted.
podpisuje imieniem i wiesza, gdzie chce.
with a parent or a sibling.
od jabłka z rodzicem, bratem lub siostrą.
napisało "Boxer",
nieżyjący już pies dziadków.
started mentioning the donor.
nie wspominało o dawcy.
byli tylko mama i tata,
into the family?"
who have spare seeds.
mają zapasowe nasienia.
a drugie dla siostry.
mentioning the donor,
samo wspomniało dawcę,
using their own words.
stosując słownictwo danego dziecka.
miałby mieć swoje jabłko,
for the friendly man with the seeds,
z papierowym jabłkiem w ręku.
up there with the others.
because my family would not be here,
constructed family tales --
którymi tłumaczą sytuację pociechom.
proces sztucznego zapłodnienia,
żeby zobaczyło inseminację krów.
with family narratives.
who made books --
throughout the treatment.
w trakcie całego leczenia.
parking tickets in there.
ze szpitalnego parkingu.
historię własnej rodziny dziecku.
ale łączy je jedno:
do posiadania potomstwa.
and how deeply loved their child was.
jak wyjątkowe jest dziecko
that these children are doing fine.
że te dzieci radzą sobie dobrze.
more problems than other kids.
to justify their decisions
chcą też usprawiedliwić swój wybór.
would understand their reasons
co nimi kierowało,
akurat w taki sposób.
that their children might disapprove
ze strony dziecka,
rodzica niebiologicznego.
bardzo heteronormatywnym
panuje przekonanie,
of one mom, one dad
to jedna matka, jeden ojciec
but not part of our study.
ale nie uczestniczył w naszym badaniu.
with his father,
the parents in our study feared.
z którymi rozmawialiśmy.
and they made up.
pogodził się z tatą.
that is most interesting.
jest reakcja ojca.
with the lack of a genetic link.
z brakiem pokrewieństwa w genach.
is a little different.
jest niestandardowa.
w każdej rodzinie.
każdy rodzic zastanawia się:
what's best for their child.
long before they even were parents.
długo zanim zostali rodzicami.
z psychologiem-doradcą,
to the counselor,
nawet 10 lat później.
the advice they were given.
w procesie leczenia.
not unless he asks,
chyba że zapyta sam z siebie.
ale to różni się od sposobu,
to children's questions.
na pytania dzieci.
czy mleko robi się w fabryce,
"Nie, mleka nie robi się w fabryce".
natychmiast to wyczuwają.
and she's made in the same way.
którą zrobili tak samo, jak mnie.
I just go and ask her."
to po prostu jej pytam".
what they had in mind,
chcieli osiągnąć,
it is to be an open-communication family.
istotna jest otwartość w komunikacji.
we gather evidence first.
musimy mieć dowód, że zadziała.
what this pill is doing
jak ten lek działa
that is theoretically sound,
tylko poprawnych teoretycznie,
that there is evidence for --
improves patients' lives.
naprawdę polepszą jakość życia pacjentów.
would now like to offer you a paradox:
obarczę was paradoksem:
wyliczając błędy rodziców.
to the warmth we found in those families.
panuje w tych rodzinach.
and the trip to the farmer?
i wycieczkę na gospodarstwo?
właściwe dla ich konkretnej rodziny,
as members of families,
jako członkowie rodzin -
are warm relationships.
relacji pełnych ciepła.
professionals to create those.
nie trzeba być psychologiem.
we can do with some advice.
pamiętajcie o trzech rzeczach.
that works for your family.
do waszej konkretnej rodziny.
because you live your family life.
żyjecie waszym rodzinnym życiem.
and your creativity,
i swojej pomysłowości,
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Veerle Provoost - BioethicistVeerle Provoost studies genetic and social parenthood in the context of donor conception.
Why you should listen
Veerle Provoost is a professor at the Bioethics Institute Ghent of Ghent University and a member of the Network on Ethics of Families. For her current research she coordinates a team of researchers who work on a study about genetic and social parenthood in the context of donor conception.
Using empirical research methods and Socratic conversation techniques, Provoost studies how professionals and ordinary people reason about health and how they make decisions in health-related contexts. In her courses on empirical research methods for ethics and bioethics, she teaches students how to look beyond mere experiences or general attitudes and to explore the principles and values that guide people's reasoning and decision-making. Her research shows that patients may bring their own sets of principles when making medical decisions, principles that may be very different from what medical staff anticipated and may feature around moral elements that may completely escape the attention of ethicists. For one, the moral reasoning of everyday people is centered more around relationships than around the principles that are at the core of scholarly bioethics.
In her talk TEDxGhent talk, she explains how we can gain valuable insights from families of children conceived with donor sperm and their views about what a family really is. These alternative families teach us what matters most in the decisions we all make for our children, whether or not they are genetically related to us. The parents and children she studied created their own family stories (about how their families were made) in highly diverse but very creative ways. However, some parents thought that they should strictly follow the advice of experts in their communication with their children. Because of that, they discounted their own competence. Based on her research experience, Provoost warns us for the negative effects of problematizing these families. Because no matter what a family looks like, or how it is made, parents should believe in their abilities and their creativity. As they know their families best, they are the real experts in how to find the best way to tell their own family story to their own child.
Veerle Provoost | Speaker | TED.com