TEDxMtHood
Jia Jiang: What I learned from 100 days of rejection
Jia Jiang: Što sam naučio u 100 dana odbijanja
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Jia Jiang hrabro odlazi u teritorij kojega se mnogi od nas boje: odbijanje. Tražeći odbijanje 100 dana -- od toga da je tražio stranca 100$ do traženja besplatnog burgera u restoranu -- Jiang postaje neosjetljiv na bol i sram koju odbijanje donosi, i u procesu otkriva da jednostavno tražeći ono što želiš možeš otkriti prilike na mjestima gdje misliš da ćeš naći slijepe ulice.
Jia Jiang - Author, blogger, entrepreneur
Jia Jiang's journey through rejection revealed a world hidden in plain sight, where people are much kinder than we imagine. Full bio
Jia Jiang's journey through rejection revealed a world hidden in plain sight, where people are much kinder than we imagine. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
When I was six years old,
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Kada sam imao šest godina,
00:14
I received my gifts.
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primio sam darove.
00:16
My first grade teacher
had this brilliant idea.
had this brilliant idea.
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Moja učiteljica u prvom razredu
imala je briljantnu ideju.
imala je briljantnu ideju.
00:19
She wanted us to experience
receiving gifts
receiving gifts
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Htjela je da iskusimo primanje darova
00:23
but also learning the virtue
of complimenting each other.
of complimenting each other.
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ali i da naučimo vrlinu davanja
komplimenata.
komplimenata.
00:27
So she had all of us
come to the front of the classroom,
come to the front of the classroom,
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Tako da smo svi došli
ispred razreda,
ispred razreda,
00:30
and she bought all of us gifts
and stacked them in the corner.
and stacked them in the corner.
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i kupila nam je darove
i složila ih u kutu.
i složila ih u kutu.
00:33
And she said,
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I rekla je,
00:34
"Why don't we just stand here
and compliment each other?
and compliment each other?
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"Zašto ne bismo stajali ovdje
i dijelili si komplimente?
i dijelili si komplimente?
00:37
If you hear your name called,
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Ako čujete svoje ime,
00:39
go and pick up your gift and sit down."
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idite i uzmite svoj dar i sjednite."
00:42
What a wonderful idea, right?
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Koja divna ideja, zar ne?
00:44
What could go wrong?
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Što može poći po krivu?
00:46
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
00:48
Well, there were 40 of us to start with,
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Pa, za početak, bilo nas je četrdeset,
00:50
and every time I heard
someone's name called,
someone's name called,
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i svakog puta kada su nekoga prozvali,
00:53
I would give out the heartiest cheer.
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glasno sam vikao.
00:55
And then there were 20 people left,
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I onda je ostalo 20 ljudi,
00:57
and 10 people left,
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i samo 10 ljudi,
00:59
and five left ...
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a potom pet...
01:01
and three left.
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i samo troje.
01:03
And I was one of them.
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I ja sam bio jedan od njih.
01:04
And the compliments stopped.
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I komplimenti su stali.
01:07
Well, at that moment, I was crying.
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Pa, u tom trenutku, plakao sam.
01:10
And the teacher was freaking out.
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I učiteljica se brinula.
01:12
She was like, "Hey, would anyone
say anything nice about these people?"
say anything nice about these people?"
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Rekla je: "Hej, hoće li netko reći
nešto lijepo o ovim ljudima?"
nešto lijepo o ovim ljudima?"
01:16
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
01:17
"No one? OK, why don't you
go get your gift and sit down.
go get your gift and sit down.
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"Nitko? OK, zašto ne odeš
po svoj dar i sjedneš.
po svoj dar i sjedneš.
01:20
So behave next year --
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I dobro se ponašaj sljedeće godine --
01:21
someone might say
something nice about you."
something nice about you."
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možda netko kaže nešto lijepo
o tebi."
o tebi."
01:24
(Laughter)
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(Smiijeh)
01:26
Well, as I'm describing this you,
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Sad dok vam to opisujem,
01:28
you probably know
I remember this really well.
I remember this really well.
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jasno vam je da se toga dosta dobro
sjećam.
sjećam.
01:30
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
01:32
But I don't know who felt worse that day.
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Ali ne znam kome je bilo gore
tog dana.
tog dana.
01:35
Was it me or the teacher?
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Meni ili učiteljici?
01:37
She must have realized
that she turned a team-building event
that she turned a team-building event
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Vjerojatno je shvatila
da je izgradnju tima
da je izgradnju tima
01:40
into a public roast
for three six-year-olds.
for three six-year-olds.
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pretvorila u javno ismijavanje
za tri šestogodišnjaka.
za tri šestogodišnjaka.
01:43
And without the humor.
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Bez humora.
01:45
You know, when you see
people get roasted on TV,
people get roasted on TV,
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Znate, ono kad vidite da se šale
s ljudima na TV-u,
s ljudima na TV-u,
01:47
it was funny.
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to je smiješno.
01:48
There was nothing funny about that day.
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No ništa nije bilo smiješno
toga dana.
toga dana.
01:51
So that was one version of me,
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To je bila jedna verzija mene,
01:54
and I would die to avoid
being in that situation again --
being in that situation again --
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i rađe bih umro
nego bio ponovno u toj situaciji --
nego bio ponovno u toj situaciji --
01:57
to get rejected in public again.
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da me tako odbiju u javnosti.
02:00
That's one version.
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To je jedna verzija.
02:02
Then fast-forward eight years.
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Onda ubrzajte osam godina.
02:04
Bill Gates came to my hometown --
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Bill Gates je došao u moj
rodni grad --
rodni grad --
02:06
Beijing, China --
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Peking, Kina --
02:07
to speak,
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kako bi pričao,
02:08
and I saw his message.
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i vidio sam njegovu poruku.
02:10
I fell in love with that guy.
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Zaljubio sam se u tog tipa.
02:13
I thought, wow,
I know what I want to do now.
I know what I want to do now.
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Mislio sam:
Wow, sad znam što želim raditi.
Wow, sad znam što želim raditi.
02:15
That night I wrote a letter to my family
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Te noći pisao sam obitelji
02:18
telling them: "By age 25,
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rekavši: "Do 25. godine,
02:20
I will build the biggest
company in the world,
company in the world,
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izgradit ću najveću tvrtku
na svijetu,
na svijetu,
02:23
and that company will buy Microsoft."
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i ta tvrtka kupit će Microsoft."
02:25
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
02:26
I totally embraced this idea
of conquering the world --
of conquering the world --
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Totalno sam prihvatio tu ideju
pokoravanja svijeta --
pokoravanja svijeta --
02:29
domination, right?
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dominacija, zar ne?
02:31
And I didn't make this up,
I did write that letter.
I did write that letter.
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I nisam ovo izmislio,
zaista sam napisao to pismo.
zaista sam napisao to pismo.
02:34
And here it is --
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I evo ga ovdje --
02:35
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
02:37
You don't have to read this through --
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Ne morate ovo čitati --
02:39
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
02:41
This is also bad handwriting,
but I did highlight some key words.
but I did highlight some key words.
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Ovo je također loš
rukopis, ali označio sam ključne riječi.
rukopis, ali označio sam ključne riječi.
02:45
You get the idea.
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Shvaćate na što sam ciljao.
02:46
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
02:48
So ...
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Dakle ...
02:51
that was another version of me:
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to je druga verzija mene:
02:53
one who will conquer the world.
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onaj koji će pokoriti svijet.
02:55
Well, then two years later,
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Dvije godine nakon toga,
02:57
I was presented with the opportunity
to come to the United States.
to come to the United States.
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pojavila se prilika da dođem u SAD.
03:01
I jumped on it,
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Skočio sam na nju,
03:03
because that was
where Bill Gates lived, right?
where Bill Gates lived, right?
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jer to je mjesto gdje živi
Bil Gates, zar ne?
Bil Gates, zar ne?
03:05
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
03:06
I thought that was the start
of my entrepreneur journey.
of my entrepreneur journey.
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Pomislio sam da je to početak
mog poduzetničkog putovanja.
mog poduzetničkog putovanja.
03:09
Then, fast-forward another 14 years.
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Ubrzajte 14 godina.
03:11
I was 30.
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Imao sam 30.
03:13
Nope, I didn't build that company.
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Ne, nisam izgradio tu tvrtku.
03:15
I didn't even start.
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Nisam čak ni počeo.
03:17
I was actually a marketing manager
for a Fortune 500 company.
for a Fortune 500 company.
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Bio sam marketing menadžer
za Fortune 500 tvrtku.
za Fortune 500 tvrtku.
03:21
And I felt I was stuck;
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Osjećao sam se kao da sam zapeo;
03:23
I was stagnant.
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Stagnirao sam.
03:25
Why is that?
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Zašto je tome tako?
03:26
Where is that 14-year-old
who wrote that letter?
who wrote that letter?
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Gdje je 14 godišnjak
koji je napisao to pismo?
koji je napisao to pismo?
03:29
It's not because he didn't try.
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Ne zato što nije pokušao.
03:31
It's because every time I had a new idea,
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Već zato što svakog puta
kada sam imao novu ideju,
kada sam imao novu ideju,
03:34
every time I wanted to try something new,
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svakog puta kada sam
htio probati nešto novo,
htio probati nešto novo,
03:36
even at work --
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čak i na poslu --
03:37
I wanted to make a proposal,
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htio sam dati prijedlog,
03:39
I wanted to speak up
in front of people in a group --
in front of people in a group --
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htio sam progovoriti
pred grupom ljudi --
pred grupom ljudi --
03:43
I felt there was this constant battle
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osjećao sam tu stalnu borbu
03:45
between the 14-year-old
and the six-year-old.
and the six-year-old.
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između 14-godišnjaka
i šestogodišnjaka.
i šestogodišnjaka.
03:47
One wanted to conquer the world --
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Jedan je htio osvojiti svijet --
03:50
make a difference --
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promijeniti nešto --
03:51
another was afraid of rejection.
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drugi se bojao odbijanja.
03:54
And every time that six-year-old won.
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I svakog puta bi
taj šestogodišnjak pobijedio.
taj šestogodišnjak pobijedio.
03:57
And this fear even persisted
after I started my own company.
after I started my own company.
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I taj strah je čak ustrajao
kad sam pokrenuo vlastitu tvrtku.
kad sam pokrenuo vlastitu tvrtku.
04:01
I mean, I started
my own company when I was 30 --
my own company when I was 30 --
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Mislim, pokrenuo sam
tvrtku sa 30 godina --
tvrtku sa 30 godina --
04:05
if you want to be Bill Gates,
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ako želite biti Bill Gates,
04:06
you've got to start
sooner or later, right?
sooner or later, right?
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morate početi prije ili kasnije, zar ne?
04:09
When I was an entrepreneur,
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Kada sam bio poduzetnik,
04:11
I was presented
with an investment opportunity,
with an investment opportunity,
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pojavila se prilika za investiranje,
04:14
and then I was turned down.
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i onda su me odbili.
04:17
And that rejection hurt me.
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To odbijanje je boljelo.
04:18
It hurt me so bad
that I wanted to quit right there.
that I wanted to quit right there.
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Boljelo je toliko da sam tada htio
odustati.
odustati.
04:23
But then I thought,
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Ali sam onda pomislio,
04:24
hey, would Bill Gates quit
after a simple investment rejection?
after a simple investment rejection?
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hej, bi li Bill Gates odustao
nakon jednostavnog odbijanja?
nakon jednostavnog odbijanja?
04:29
Would any successful
entrepreneur quit like that?
entrepreneur quit like that?
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Bi li ijedan uspješan poduzetnik odustao?
04:31
No way.
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Nema šanse.
04:33
And this is where it clicked for me.
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I tu je za mene kliknulo.
04:35
OK, I can build a better company.
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OK, mogu napraviti bolju tvrtku.
04:37
I can build a better
team or better product,
team or better product,
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Mogu izgraditi bolji tim
ili bolji proizvod,
ili bolji proizvod,
04:39
but one thing for sure:
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ali jedna stvar je sigurna:
04:40
I've got to be a better leader.
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moram biti bolji vođa.
04:42
I've got to be a better person.
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Moram biti bolja osoba.
04:44
I cannot let that six-year-old
keep dictating my life anymore.
keep dictating my life anymore.
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Ne mogu dozvoliti šestogodišnjaku
da diktira mojim životom.
da diktira mojim životom.
04:48
I have to put him back in his place.
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Moram mu pokazati gdje mu je mjesto..
04:51
So this is where I went online
and looked for help.
and looked for help.
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Ovdje sam otišao online
i tražio pomoć.
i tražio pomoć.
04:53
Google was my friend.
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Google je bio moj prijatelj.
04:54
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
04:55
I searched, "How do I overcome
the fear of rejection?"
the fear of rejection?"
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Tražio sam, "Kako prevladati
strah od odbijanja?"
strah od odbijanja?"
04:59
I came up with a bunch
of psychology articles
of psychology articles
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Dobio sam puno članaka
iz psihologije
iz psihologije
05:01
about where the fear
and pain are coming from.
and pain are coming from.
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o tome odakle dolaze
bol i strah.
bol i strah.
05:04
Then I came up with a bunch
of "rah-rah" inspirational articles
of "rah-rah" inspirational articles
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Onda sam pronašao puno
"bla bla" inspiracijskih članaka
"bla bla" inspiracijskih članaka
05:08
about "Don't take it personally,
just overcome it."
just overcome it."
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o tome "Kako ne treba uzimati
osobno, samo prevladati."
osobno, samo prevladati."
05:11
Who doesn't know that?
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Tko to ne zna?
05:12
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
05:14
But why was I still so scared?
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Ali zašto sam se i dalje bojao?
05:16
Then I found this website by luck.
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Onda sam slučajno naletio na ovu stranicu.
05:18
It's called rejectiontherapy.com.
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Zove se rejectiontherapy.com
(Terapija odbijanja)
(Terapija odbijanja)
05:21
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
05:23
"Rejection Therapy" was this game
invented by this Canadian entrepreneur.
invented by this Canadian entrepreneur.
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"Terapija odbijanja" je igra
koju je osmislio kanadski poduzetnik.
koju je osmislio kanadski poduzetnik.
05:27
His name is Jason Comely.
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Njegovo ime je Jason Comely.
05:29
And basically the idea is for 30 days
you go out and look for rejection,
you go out and look for rejection,
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I ideja je da 30 dana morate
tražiti odbijanje,
tražiti odbijanje,
05:34
and every day get rejected at something,
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i svakog dana vas moraju odbiti za nešto,
05:36
and then by the end,
you desensitize yourself from the pain.
you desensitize yourself from the pain.
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i na kraju postanete neosjetljivi na tu bol.
05:41
And I loved that idea.
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Svidjela mi se ta ideja.
05:43
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
05:44
I said, "You know what?
I'm going to do this.
I'm going to do this.
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Rekao sam, "Znaš što? Pokušat ću ovo.
05:46
And I'll feel myself
getting rejected 100 days."
getting rejected 100 days."
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I osjećat ću odbijanje 100 dana."
05:49
And I came up with my own rejection ideas,
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I osmislio sam vlastite ideje o
odbijanju,
odbijanju,
05:52
and I made a video blog out of it.
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i napravio sam video blog od toga.
05:55
And so here's what I did.
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I evo što sam učinio.
05:57
This is what the blog looked like.
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Ovako je blog izgledao.
06:00
Day One ...
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Dan Prvi ...
06:02
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
06:03
Borrow 100 dollars from a stranger.
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Posudi 100 dolara od stranca.
06:07
So this is where I went
to where I was working.
to where I was working.
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Ovdje sam otišao tamo gdje sam radio,
06:10
I came downstairs
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sišao niz stube
06:12
and I saw this big guy
sitting behind a desk.
sitting behind a desk.
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i vidio tog velikog tipa iza stola.
06:14
He looked like a security guard.
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Izgledao je kao zaštitar.
06:16
So I just approached him.
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Prišao sam mu.
06:17
And I was just walking
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I hodao sam
06:19
and that was the longest
walk of my life --
walk of my life --
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a to je bila najduža šetnja
mog života --
mog života --
06:22
hair on the back
of my neck standing up,
of my neck standing up,
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dlake na vratu nakostriješile su se,
06:24
I was sweating and my heart was pounding.
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znojio sam se i srce mi je tuklo.
06:26
And I got there and said,
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I došao sam tamo i rekao,
06:27
"Hey, sir, can I borrow
100 dollars from you?"
100 dollars from you?"
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"Hej gospodine, mogu li posuditi
100 dolara od tebe?"
100 dolara od tebe?"
06:30
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
06:31
And he looked up, he's like, "No."
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I on me pogledao i rekao "Ne."
06:34
"Why?"
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"Zašto?"
06:36
And I just said, "No? I'm sorry."
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I onda sam rekao, "Ne? Žao mi je."
06:38
Then I turned around,
and I just ran.
and I just ran.
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Okrenuo sam se i pobjegao.
06:40
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
06:43
I felt so embarrassed.
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Bilo mi je neugodno.
06:44
But because I filmed myself --
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Ali zato što sam se snimio --
06:46
so that night I was watching
myself getting rejected,
myself getting rejected,
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te večeri gledao sam kako sam bio odbijen,
06:49
I just saw how scared I was.
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i samo sam vidio koliko me strah.
06:51
I looked like this kid
in "The Sixth Sense."
in "The Sixth Sense."
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Izgledao sam kao klinac iz "Šestog čula."
06:54
I saw dead people.
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Vidio sam mrtvace.
06:55
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
06:57
But then I saw this guy.
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A onda sam vidio tog tipa.
06:58
You know, he wasn't that menacing.
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Nije bio tako strašan.
07:00
He was a chubby, loveable guy,
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Bio je debeljuškast, simpatičan tip,
07:03
and he even asked me, "Why?"
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i čak me pitao "Zašto?"
07:06
In fact, he invited me to explain myself.
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Pozvao me da se objasnim.
07:08
And I could've said many things.
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I mogao sam reći svašta.
07:10
I could've explained,
I could've negotiated.
I could've negotiated.
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Mogao sam objasniti,
pregovarati.
pregovarati.
07:12
I didn't do any of that.
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Nisam napravio ništa od toga.
07:14
All I did was run.
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Samo sam pobjegao.
07:17
I felt, wow, this is like
the microcosm of my life.
the microcosm of my life.
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Pomislio sam, wow, ovo je kao
mikrosvemir mog života.
mikrosvemir mog života.
07:21
Every time I felt the slightest rejection,
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Svaki put kad bi osjetio i malo odbijanja,
07:23
I would just run as fast as I could.
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samo bih pobjegao što brže mogu.
07:25
And you know what?
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I znate što?
07:27
The next day, no matter what happens,
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Sljedećeg dana, što god da se dogodi,
07:28
I'm not going to run.
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neću bježati.
07:30
I'll stay engaged.
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Ostat ću uključen.
07:32
Day Two: Request a "burger refill."
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Dan Drugi: Tražiti da mi napune burger.
07:34
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
07:36
It's when I went to a burger joint,
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Otišao sam u prodavaonicu burgera,
07:38
I finished lunch,
and I went to the cashier and said,
and I went to the cashier and said,
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dovršio sam ručak,
došao do blagajnika i rekao,
došao do blagajnika i rekao,
07:41
"Hi, can I get a burger refill?"
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"Možete li mi
ponovno napuniti burger?"
ponovno napuniti burger?"
07:42
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
07:44
He was all confused,
like, "What's a burger refill?"
like, "What's a burger refill?"
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Bio je zbunjen,
"Što znači napuniti burger?"
"Što znači napuniti burger?"
07:47
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
07:48
I said, "Well, it's just like
a drink refill but with a burger."
a drink refill but with a burger."
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Rekao sam, "Kao da
mi dopunite piće, ali sa burgerom."
mi dopunite piće, ali sa burgerom."
07:52
And he said, "Sorry,
we don't do burger refill, man."
we don't do burger refill, man."
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I rekao je, "Oprosti, to ne radimo čovječe."
07:54
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
07:56
So this is where rejection happened
and I could have run, but I stayed.
and I could have run, but I stayed.
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I tu se dogodilo odbijanje
i mogao sam pobjeći, ali ostao sam.
i mogao sam pobjeći, ali ostao sam.
08:00
I said, "Well, I love your burgers,
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Rekao sam, "Volim vaše burgere,
08:02
I love your joint,
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volim vašu prodavaonicu,
08:03
and if you guys do a burger refill,
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i ako mi dopunite burger,
08:06
I will love you guys more."
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volit ću vas još više."
08:07
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
08:08
And he said, "Well, OK,
I'll tell my manager about it,
I'll tell my manager about it,
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I on je rekao, "OK, reći ću
svom šefu za to,
svom šefu za to,
08:11
and maybe we'll do it,
but sorry, we can't do this today."
but sorry, we can't do this today."
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i možda to napravimo, ali
ne mogu to danas napraviti."
ne mogu to danas napraviti."
08:14
Then I left.
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Onda sam otišao.
08:15
And by the way,
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I usput,
08:17
I don't think they've
ever done burger refill.
ever done burger refill.
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mislim da to nisu nikad napravili.
08:19
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
08:21
I think they're still there.
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Mislim da još postoje.
08:23
But the life and death feeling
I was feeling the first time
I was feeling the first time
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Ali osjećaj života i smrti
koji sam imao prvi put
koji sam imao prvi put
08:26
was no longer there,
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nije više bio ondje,
08:27
just because I stayed engaged --
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samo zato što sam ostao uključen --
08:29
because I didn't run.
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što nisam pobjegao.
08:31
I said, "Wow, great,
I'm already learning things.
I'm already learning things.
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I rekao sam, "Wow, super,
već učim stvari.
već učim stvari.
08:34
Great."
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Odlično."
08:35
And then Day Three:
Getting Olympic Doughnuts.
Getting Olympic Doughnuts.
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I onda Treći Dan:
Dobivanje Olimpijskih krafni.
Dobivanje Olimpijskih krafni.
08:38
This is where my life
was turned upside down.
was turned upside down.
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Tu mi se život okrenuo naglavce.
08:42
I went to a Krispy Kreme.
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Otišao sam u Krispy Kreme.
08:43
It's a doughnut shop
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To je trgovina s krafnama
08:45
in mainly the Southeastern part
of the United States.
of the United States.
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u jugoistočnom dijelu SAD-a.
08:47
I'm sure they have some here, too.
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Sigurno imaju neke i ovdje.
08:49
And I went in,
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I ušao sam,
08:50
I said, "Can you make me doughnuts
that look like Olympic symbols?
that look like Olympic symbols?
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i rekao, "Možete li mi napraviti krafne
koje izgledaju kao Olimpijski simboli?
koje izgledaju kao Olimpijski simboli?
08:54
Basically, you interlink
five doughnuts together ... "
five doughnuts together ... "
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Samo povežete pet krafni zajedno .."
08:56
I mean there's no way
they could say yes, right?
they could say yes, right?
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Nema šanse da bi pristali na to,
zar ne?
zar ne?
08:59
The doughnut maker took me so seriously.
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Ali pripravljačica krafni me shvatila ozbiljno.
09:02
(Laughter)
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530040
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(Smijeh)
09:03
So she put out paper,
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Izvadila je papir,
09:04
started jotting down
the colors and the rings,
the colors and the rings,
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počela pisati boje i prstenje,
09:06
and is like, "How can I make this?"
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2016
i razmišlja, "Kako mogu to napraviti?"
09:08
And then 15 minutes later,
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1896
I 15 minuta kasnije,
09:10
she came out with a box
that looked like Olympic rings.
that looked like Olympic rings.
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izašla je s kutijom koja je izgledala
kao Olimpijsko prstenje.
kao Olimpijsko prstenje.
09:14
And I was so touched.
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Bio sam tako dirnut.
09:15
I just couldn't believe it.
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Jednostavno nisam mogao vjerovati.
09:18
And that video got
over five million views on Youtube.
over five million views on Youtube.
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I taj video je pogledalo višeo od
5 milijuna ljudi na Youtubeu.
5 milijuna ljudi na Youtubeu.
09:22
The world couldn't believe that either.
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Ni svijet nije mogao vjerovati.
09:24
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
09:27
You know, because of that
I was in newspapers,
I was in newspapers,
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3216
Znate, zbog toga sam bio u novinama,
09:30
in talk shows, in everything.
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na tv-u, posvuda.
09:32
And I became famous.
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I postao sam slavan.
09:33
A lot of people
started writing emails to me
started writing emails to me
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Puno ljudi mi je počelo slati
e-mailove
e-mailove
09:35
and saying, "What you're
doing is awesome."
doing is awesome."
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2536
i govoriti, "To što radiš je odlično."
09:38
But you know, fame and notoriety
did not do anything to me.
did not do anything to me.
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Ali znate, slava i to što sam poznat
nisu utjecali na mene.
nisu utjecali na mene.
09:42
What I really wanted to do was learn,
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1816
Ja sam samo htio naučiti,
09:43
and to change myself,
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1216
i promijeniti sebe.
09:45
so I turned the rest
of my 100 days of rejection
of my 100 days of rejection
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Tako da sam ostatak
100 dana odbijanja
100 dana odbijanja
09:47
into this playground --
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pretvorio u ovo igralište --
09:49
into this research project.
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u ovaj istraživački projekt.
09:51
I wanted to see what I could learn.
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Htio sam vidjeti što mogu naučiti.
09:54
And then I learned a lot of things.
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I onda sam naučio puno stvari.
09:56
I discovered so many secrets.
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1576
Otkrio sam tako puno tajni.
09:57
For example, I found if I just don't run,
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2896
Na primjer, ako ne bježim,
10:00
if I got rejected,
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1256
kada me odbiju,
10:01
I could actually turn a "no" into a "yes,"
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možda pretvorim "ne" u "da,"
10:04
and the magic word is, "why."
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i čarobna riječ je "zašto."
10:05
So one day I went to a stranger's house,
I had this flower in my hand,
I had this flower in my hand,
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Jednog dana sam s cvijetom u ruci
otišao u kuću stranca,
otišao u kuću stranca,
10:09
knocked on the door and said,
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1416
pokucao na vrata i rekao,
10:11
"Hey, can I plant this flower
in your backyard?"
in your backyard?"
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2256
"Mogu li zasaditi ovaj cvijet
u vašem dvorištu?"
u vašem dvorištu?"
10:13
(Laughter)
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1536
(Smijeh)
10:15
And he said, "No."
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Rekao je, "Ne."
10:17
But before he could leave I said,
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1736
Ali prije nego je otišao pitao sam,
10:19
"Hey, can I know why?"
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1936
"Mogu li znati zašto?"
10:21
And he said, "Well, I have this dog
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3056
I on je rekao, "Pa imam tog psa
10:24
that would dig up
anything I put in the backyard.
anything I put in the backyard.
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2336
koji bi iskopao bilo što što stavim
u dvorište.
u dvorište.
10:26
I don't want to waste your flower.
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Ne želim da potratiš cvijet.
10:28
If you want to do this,
go across the street and talk to Connie.
go across the street and talk to Connie.
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3176
Ako želiš to učiniti idi preko puta
i popričaj s Connie,
i popričaj s Connie,
10:31
She loves flowers."
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1216
ona obožava cvijeće."
10:33
So that's what I did.
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1216
I to sam i učinio.
10:34
I went across and knocked
on Connie's door.
on Connie's door.
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2056
Prešao sam ulicu i pokucao na njena vrata.
10:36
And she was so happy to see me.
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1856
Bila je tako sretna što me vidi.
10:38
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
10:39
And then half an hour later,
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1376
I onda pola sata kasnije,
10:41
there was this flower
in Connie's backyard.
in Connie's backyard.
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2056
bio je cvijet zasađen u Connienom
dvorištu.
dvorištu.
10:43
I'm sure it looks better now.
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1416
Siguran sam da sada izgleda bolje.
10:44
(Laughter)
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1296
(Smijeh)
10:46
But had I left
after the initial rejection,
after the initial rejection,
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2936
Ali da sam otišao poslije
prvotnog odbijanja,
prvotnog odbijanja,
10:49
I would've thought,
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1216
pomislio bih,
10:50
well, it's because
the guy didn't trust me,
the guy didn't trust me,
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2056
to je zato što mi tip ne vjeruje,
10:52
it's because I was crazy,
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1216
zato što sam lud,
10:53
because I didn't dress up well,
I didn't look good.
I didn't look good.
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2416
jer se nisam dobro obukao
ili nisam dobro izgledao.
ili nisam dobro izgledao.
10:56
It was none of those.
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1216
Ali nije bilo ništa od toga.
10:57
It was because what I offered
did not fit what he wanted.
did not fit what he wanted.
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2696
Ponudio sam mu nešto
što nije odgovaralo njegovim potrebama.
što nije odgovaralo njegovim potrebama.
11:00
And he trusted me enough
to offer me a referral,
to offer me a referral,
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2256
I vjerovao mi je dovoljno
da me referira drugom kupcu,
da me referira drugom kupcu,
11:02
using a sales term.
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1656
da koristim termin iz prodaje.
11:04
I converted a referral.
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1520
I akvizirao sam tog kupca.
11:06
Then one day --
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1216
Onda jednog dana --
11:07
and I also learned that I can
actually say certain things
actually say certain things
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2896
naučio sam i da mogu reći
određene stvari
određene stvari
11:10
and maximize my chance to get a yes.
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1936
i povećati šanse za potvrdan odgovor.
11:12
So for example,
one day I went to a Starbucks,
one day I went to a Starbucks,
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2216
Na primjer, otišao sam u Starbucks,
11:15
and asked the manager,
"Hey, can I be a Starbucks greeter?"
"Hey, can I be a Starbucks greeter?"
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3576
i rekao sam upravitelju, "Hej,
mogu li ja biti Starbucks pozdravljač?"
mogu li ja biti Starbucks pozdravljač?"
11:18
He was like, "What's a Starbucks greeter?"
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2376
On je pitao, "Što je to?"
11:21
I said, "Do you know
those Walmart greeters?
those Walmart greeters?
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2096
Rekao sam, "Znate one pozdravljače
u Walmartu?
u Walmartu?
11:23
You know, those people who say
'hi' to you before you walk in the store,
'hi' to you before you walk in the store,
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3416
Ljudi koji vas pozdrave
prije nego uđete,
prije nego uđete,
11:26
and make sure you
don't steal stuff, basically?
don't steal stuff, basically?
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2216
i paze da ne kradete?
11:28
I want to give a Walmart experience
to Starbucks customers."
to Starbucks customers."
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3136
Želim dati iskustvo Walmarta
Starbucks kupcu."
Starbucks kupcu."
11:31
(Laughter)
299
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1456
(Smijeh)
11:33
Well, I'm not sure
that's a good thing, actually --
that's a good thing, actually --
300
681360
3000
Pa, nisam siguran da je to dobra stvar --
11:37
Actually, I'm pretty sure
it's a bad thing.
it's a bad thing.
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2496
Zapravo, poprilično sam siguran da je to loše.
11:40
And he was like, "Oh" --
302
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2056
I on je bio kao, "Oh" --
11:42
yeah, this is how he looked,
his name is Eric --
his name is Eric --
303
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2256
tako je izgledao, ime mu je Eric --
11:44
and he was like, "I'm not sure."
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1576
i on je rekao: "Nisam siguran."
11:46
This is how he was hearing me. "Not sure."
305
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2056
Ovako me čuo. "Nisam siguran."
11:48
Then I ask him, "Is that weird?"
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1656
Onda ga upitam, "Da li je to čudno?"
11:49
He's like, "Yeah, it's really weird, man."
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2040
On kaže, "Da, stvarno je čudno čovječe."
11:52
But as soon as he said that,
his whole demeanor changed.
his whole demeanor changed.
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700800
2856
Ali čim je to rekao,
njegovo držanje se promijenilo.
njegovo držanje se promijenilo.
11:55
It's as if he's putting
all the doubt on the floor.
all the doubt on the floor.
309
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2936
Kao da je stavio svu sumnju na pod.
11:58
And he said, "Yeah, you can do this,
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1736
I rekao je, "Da, možeš to raditi,
12:00
just don't get too weird."
311
708400
1256
samo nemoj da bude prečudno."
12:01
(Laughter)
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1416
(Smijeh)
12:03
So for the next hour
I was the Starbucks greeter.
I was the Starbucks greeter.
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2376
Sljedećih sat vremena
bio sam Starbucks pozdravljač.
bio sam Starbucks pozdravljač.
12:05
I said "hi" to every customer
that walked in,
that walked in,
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2136
Pozdravio sam svakog kupca
koji je ušao,
koji je ušao,
12:07
and gave them holiday cheers.
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2376
i dao sam im blagdanski pozdrav.
12:10
By the way, I don't know
what your career trajectory is,
what your career trajectory is,
316
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2656
Usput, ne znam kakva vam je karijera,
12:12
don't be a greeter.
317
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1216
ali nemojte biti pozdravljač.
12:14
(Laughter)
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1216
(Smijeh)
12:15
It was really boring.
319
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1200
Bilo je zaista dosadno.
12:17
But then I found I could do this
because I mentioned, "Is that weird?"
because I mentioned, "Is that weird?"
320
725200
4936
Ali onda sam otkrio
da to mogu jer sam pitao "Je li to čudno?"
da to mogu jer sam pitao "Je li to čudno?"
12:22
I mentioned the doubt that he was having.
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2136
Spomenuo sam sumnju koju je on imao.
12:24
And because I mentioned, "Is that weird?",
that means I wasn't weird.
that means I wasn't weird.
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I zato što sam spomenuo "Je li to čudno?",
to znači da to nije bilo čudno.
to znači da to nije bilo čudno.
12:27
That means I was actually
thinking just like him,
thinking just like him,
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To znači da sam razmišljao točno
kao i on,
kao i on,
12:30
seeing this as a weird thing.
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vidjevši da je to čudna stvar.
12:32
And again, and again,
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I ponovno, i ponovno,
12:34
I learned that if I mention
some doubt people might have
some doubt people might have
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naučio sam da ako spomenem
sumnju koju ljudi možda imaju
sumnju koju ljudi možda imaju
12:37
before I ask the question,
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prije nego postavim pitanje,
12:39
I gained their trust.
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zadobit ću njihovo povjerenje.
12:40
People were more likely to say yes to me.
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Bilo je izglednije da će mi ljudi reći da.
12:42
And then I learned
I could fulfill my life dream ...
I could fulfill my life dream ...
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I onda sam naučio
da mogu ispuniti svoj san...
da mogu ispuniti svoj san...
12:46
by asking.
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pitajući.
12:47
You know, I came
from four generations of teachers,
from four generations of teachers,
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Znate, potječem od četiri generacije
učitelja,
učitelja,
12:50
and my grandma has always told me,
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i moja baka mi je uvijek govorila,
12:53
"Hey Jia, you can do anything you want,
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"Hej Jia, možeš raditi što god želiš,
12:55
but it'd be great
if you became a teacher."
if you became a teacher."
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ali bilo bi super da budeš učitelj."
12:58
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
12:59
But I wanted to be
an entrepreneur, so I didn't.
an entrepreneur, so I didn't.
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Ali htio sam biti poduzetnik,
pa nisam.
pa nisam.
13:01
But it has always been my dream
to actually teach something.
to actually teach something.
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Ali uvijek je bio moj san
da zaista nešto podučavam.
da zaista nešto podučavam.
13:05
So I said, "What if I just ask
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Pa sam rekao, "Što ako samo pitam
13:07
and teach a college class?"
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i držim predavanje na fakultetu?"
13:09
I lived in Austin at the time,
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Živio sam u Austinu u to vrijeme,
13:11
so I went to University
of Texas at Austin,
of Texas at Austin,
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pa sam otišao na Sveučilište u Texasu,
13:13
and knocked on professors' doors
and said, "Can I teach your class?"
and said, "Can I teach your class?"
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pokucao na vrata profesora i pitao
"Mogu li držati vaše predavanje?"
"Mogu li držati vaše predavanje?"
13:16
I didn't get anywhere
the first couple of times.
the first couple of times.
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Nisam dospio daleko prvih par puta.
13:18
But because I didn't run --
I kept doing it --
I kept doing it --
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Ali zato što nisam bježao --
nastavio sam to činiti --
nastavio sam to činiti --
13:21
and on the third try
the professor was very impressed.
the professor was very impressed.
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i treći put profesor je bio impresioniran.
13:24
He was like, "No one
has done this before."
has done this before."
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Rekao je, "Nitko to do sada nije napravio."
13:26
And I came in prepared
with powerpoints and my lesson.
with powerpoints and my lesson.
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I došao sam spreman
sa prezentacijom i mojom lekcijom.
sa prezentacijom i mojom lekcijom.
13:30
He said, "Wow, I can use this.
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Rekao je, "Wow, mogu to koristiti.
13:33
Why don't you come back in two months?
I'll fit you in my curriculum."
I'll fit you in my curriculum."
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Zašto se ne vratiš za dva mjeseca?
Uvrstit ću te u moj raspored."
Uvrstit ću te u moj raspored."
13:36
And two months later
I was teaching a class.
I was teaching a class.
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I dva mjeseca kasnije
držao sam predavanje.
držao sam predavanje.
13:38
This is me -- you probably can't see,
this is a bad picture.
this is a bad picture.
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Ovo sam ja -- ne vidite vjerojatno,
jer je loša slika.
jer je loša slika.
13:41
You know, sometimes you get
rejected by lighting, you know?
rejected by lighting, you know?
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Znate, nekad vas odbije munja?
13:44
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
13:46
But wow --
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Ali wow --
13:48
when I finished teaching that class,
I walked out crying,
I walked out crying,
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kad sam završio s predavanjem,
izašao sam plačući,
izašao sam plačući,
13:50
because I thought
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jer sam mislio
13:52
I could fulfill my life dream
just by simply asking.
just by simply asking.
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da mogu ispuniti životni san
samo postavljanjem pitanja.
samo postavljanjem pitanja.
13:55
I used to think I have to accomplish
all these things --
all these things --
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Nekad sam mislio da to sve moram postići --
13:58
have to be a great entrepreneur,
or get a PhD to teach --
or get a PhD to teach --
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da moram biti veliki poduzetnik,
imati doktorat da podučavam --
imati doktorat da podučavam --
14:02
but no, I just asked,
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ali ne, samo sam pitao,
14:03
and I could teach.
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i mogao sam podučavati.
14:05
And in that picture --
which you can't see --
which you can't see --
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I na toj slici koju ne vidite,
14:07
I quoted Martin Luther King Jr.
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citirao sam Martina Luthera Kinga Jr.
14:11
Why? Because in my research I found
that people who really change the world,
that people who really change the world,
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Zašto? Jer u mom istraživanju otkrio sam
da ljudi koji zaista mijenjaju svijet,
da ljudi koji zaista mijenjaju svijet,
14:15
who change the way we live
and the way we think,
and the way we think,
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koji mije,njaju način na koji živimo
i mislimo
i mislimo
14:18
are the people who were met
with initial and often violent rejections.
with initial and often violent rejections.
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su oni ljudi koje je dočekalo
žestoko i često nasilno odbijanje.
žestoko i često nasilno odbijanje.
14:22
People like Martin Luther King Jr.,
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Ljudi kao Martin Luther King Jr.,
14:24
like Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela,
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kao Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela,
14:27
or even Jesus Christ.
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ili čak Isus Krist.
14:28
These people did not
let rejection define them.
let rejection define them.
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Ti ljudi nisu dozvolili da ih
definira odbijanje.
definira odbijanje.
14:31
They let their own reaction
after rejection define themselves.
after rejection define themselves.
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Oni su dozvolili vlastitim reakcijama
nakon odbijanja da ih definiraju.
nakon odbijanja da ih definiraju.
14:37
And they embraced rejection.
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I prihvatili su odbijanje.
14:39
And we don't have to be those people
to learn about rejection,
to learn about rejection,
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I ne moramo biti ti ljudi da bi
naučili o odbijanju,
naučili o odbijanju,
14:42
but in my case,
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i u mom slučaju,
14:43
rejection was my curse --
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odbijanje je bilo moje prokletstvo,
14:46
was my boogeyman.
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moja babaroga.
14:47
It has bothered me my whole life
because I was running away from it.
because I was running away from it.
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Mučilo me cijeli život
jer sam od toga bježao.
jer sam od toga bježao.
14:51
Then I started embracing it.
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Onda sam to prigrlio.
14:53
I turned that into
the biggest gift in my life.
the biggest gift in my life.
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To sam pretvorio u najveći dar
u mom životu.
u mom životu.
14:57
I started teaching people
how to turn rejections into opportunities.
how to turn rejections into opportunities.
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Počeo sam učiti ljude kako
da odbijanje pretvore u prilike.
da odbijanje pretvore u prilike.
15:01
I use my blog, I use my talk,
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Koristim blog, moj govor,
15:03
I use the book I just published,
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koristim knjigu koju sam objavio,
15:05
and I'm even using technology to help
people overcome their fear of rejection.
people overcome their fear of rejection.
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i čak gradim tehnologiju koja će pomoći
ljudima da prevladaju strah od odbijanja.
ljudima da prevladaju strah od odbijanja.
15:12
When you get rejected in life,
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Kada vas odbiju u životu,
15:14
when you are facing the next obstacle,
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kada ste suočeni sa sljedećom preprekom
15:16
or next failure,
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ili sljedećim neuspjehom,
15:18
consider the possibilities.
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razmislite o mogućnostima.
15:20
Don't run.
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Nemojte bježati.
15:21
If you just embrace them,
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Ako ih samo prigrlite,
15:22
they might become your gifts as well.
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možda postanu i vaši darovi.
15:25
Thank you.
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Hvala vam.
15:26
(Applause)
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(Pljesak)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Jia Jiang - Author, blogger, entrepreneurJia Jiang's journey through rejection revealed a world hidden in plain sight, where people are much kinder than we imagine.
Why you should listen
Jia Jiang is the owner of Rejection Therapy, a website that provides inspiration, knowledge and products for people to overcome their fear of rejection. He is also the CEO of Wuju Learning, a company that teaches people and trains organizations to become fearless through rejection training. In 2015, he authored a bestselling book, Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection.
Several years after Jiang began his career in the corporate world, he took a life-altering risk and stepped into the unknown world of entrepreneurship. His result was everyone's biggest fear: rejection. This was the catalyst that set Jiang on the path to his true calling.
To conquer the fear of rejection, Jiang embarked on a personal quest and started a blog, 100 Days of Rejection Therapy. His journey revealed a world that was hidden in plain sight -- a world where people are much kinder than we imagine. He discovered that rejection can be much less painful than we believe and that the fear of rejection is much more destructive than we know.
Jiang grew up in Beijing, China and migrated to the United States at age 16. He holds a Bachelor of Computer Science from Brigham Young University and a Master of Business Administration from Duke University.
Jia Jiang | Speaker | TED.com