TEDxSummit
Maz Jobrani: A Saudi, an Indian and an Iranian walk into a Qatari bar ...
Maz Jobrani: Seorang Saudi, seorang India, dan seorang Iran pergi ke bar di Qatar ...
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Pelawak Amerika keturunan Iran Maz Jobrani berbicara di TEDx Summit di Doha, Qatar untuk membahas masalah serius di Timur Tengah -- seperti berapa banyak ciuman yang Anda berikan saat mengucapkan "Hai," dan apa yang tidak boleh dikatakan di atas pesawat terbang Amerika.
Maz Jobrani - Comedian
A founding member of the Axis of Evil Comedy Tour, Iranian-American comedian Maz Jobrani is now touring with his second solo comedy show, Browner and Friendlier. Full bio
A founding member of the Axis of Evil Comedy Tour, Iranian-American comedian Maz Jobrani is now touring with his second solo comedy show, Browner and Friendlier. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:16
Hello, Doha. Hello. Salaam alaikum.
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Halo, Doha. Halo, Assalamualaikum.
00:22
I love coming to Doha. It's such an international place.
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Saya senang sekali datang ke Doha. Tempat ini sangat internasional.
00:26
This is like -- it feels like the United Nations just here.
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Seperti -- serasa seperti PBB di sini.
00:30
You land at the airport, and you're welcomed by an Indian lady
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Begitu mendarat di bandara, Anda disambut seorang wanita India
00:32
who takes you to Al Maha Services, where you meet a Filipino lady
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yang mengantar Anda ke Al Maha Services, di mana Anda bertemu seorang wanita Filipina
00:37
who hands you off to a South African lady
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yang mengantar Anda ke seorang wanita Afrika Selatan
00:39
who then takes you to a Korean who takes you to
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yang kemudian mengantar Anda ke seorang Korea yang mengantar Anda
00:41
a Pakistani guy with the luggage
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ke seorang pria Pakistan dengan tas Anda
00:44
who takes you to the car with a Sri Lankan.
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yang mengantar Anda ke mobil yang dikemudikan seorang Sri Lanka.
00:45
You go to the hotel and you check in. There's a Lebanese.
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Anda pergi ke hotel dan melakukan check in. Ada orang Lebanon.
00:48
Yeah? And then a Swedish guy showed me my room.
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Ya kan? Lalu seorang pria Swedia yang mengantarkan saya ke kamar.
00:52
I said, "Where are the Qataris?" (Laughter)
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Saya bertanya, "Mana orang-orang Qatar?" (Tertawa)
00:55
(Applause)
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(Tepuk tangan)
00:58
They said, "No, no, it's too hot. They come out later. They're smart."
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Mereka berkata, "Tidak, tidak, cuacanya terlalu panas. Mereka akan keluar nanti. Mereka cerdas."
01:01
(Laughter) "They know."
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(Tertawa) "Mereka tahu."
01:05
And of course it's growing so fast, sometimes there's growing pains.
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Dan tentu saja, kota ini berkembang pesat, kadang menyakitkan.
01:08
You know, like sometimes you run into people that you think
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Anda tahu, seperti ketika terkadang Anda menjumpai orang yang Anda pikir
01:11
know the city well, but they don't know it that well.
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mengenal kota ini dengan baik, namun tidak.
01:14
My Indian cab driver showed up at the W,
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Pengemudi taksi saya yang berasal dari India muncul di W
01:16
and I asked him to take me to the Sheraton,
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dan saya memintanya membawa saya ke Sheraton,
01:19
and he said, "No problem, sir."
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dan dia berkata, "Tidak masalah, Pak."
01:21
And then we sat there for two minutes.
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Lalu kami duduk di sana selama 2 menit.
01:24
I said, "What's wrong?"He said, "One problem, sir."
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Saya berkata, "Ada apa?"
Katanya, "Ada satu masalah, Pak."
Katanya, "Ada satu masalah, Pak."
01:27
I said, "What?" He goes, "Where is it?"
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"Apa?" kata saya.
"Di mana tempatnya?" katanya.
"Di mana tempatnya?" katanya.
01:28
(Laughter)
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(Tertawa)
01:31
I go, "You're the driver, you should know."He goes, "No, I just arrived, sir."
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Saya menjawab, "Anda kan sopirnya, seharusnya Anda tahu." Katanya, "Tidak, saya baru sampai."
01:36
I go, "You just arrived at the W?""No, I just arrived in Doha, sir.
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"Anda baru sampai di W?" kata saya.
"Tidak, saya baru sampai di Doha, Pak."
"Tidak, saya baru sampai di Doha, Pak."
01:40
I was on my way home from the airport. I got a job.
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Saya baru saja mendarat di bandara saat saya mendapat pekerjaan.
01:42
I'm working already."
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Dan saya langsung bekerja."
01:45
He goes, "Sir, why don't you drive?"
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Katanya lagi, "Mengapa tidak Anda saja yang mengemudi, Pak?"
01:48
I go, "I don't know where we're going."
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Kata saya "Saya tidak tahu ke mana jalannya."
01:50
"Neither do I. It will be an adventure, sir."
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"Saya juga tidak. Anda dapat berpetualang, Pak."
01:55
It is an adventure. The Middle East has been an adventure the past couple years.
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Betul-betul sebuah petualangan. Timur Tengah telah menjadi sebuah petualangan selama beberapa tahun terakhir.
01:58
The Middle East is going crazy with the Arab Spring
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Timur Tengah menjadi heboh karena kebangkitan dunia Arab,
02:01
and revolution and all this. Are there any Lebanese here tonight?
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revolusi, dan semua ini. Apakah ada orang Lebanon malam ini?
02:03
Any Lebanese by applause? (Applause) Lebanese.
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Orang Lebanon harap bertepuk tangan. (Tepuk tangan) Orang Lebanon.
02:05
Yeah. The Middle East is going crazy.
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Ya. Timur Tengah sudah jadi gila.
02:08
You know the Middle East is going crazy
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Anda tahu Timur Tengah jadi gila
02:10
when Lebanon is the most peaceful place in the region.
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ketika Lebanon adalah tempat paling damai di wilayah ini.
02:12
(Laughter) (Applause)
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(Tertawa) (Tepuk tangan)
02:15
Who would have thought? Oh my gosh.
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Siapa sangka? Astaga.
02:20
No. There's serious issues in the region.
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Ada masalah serius di wilayah ini.
02:22
Some people don't want to talk about them. I'm here to talk about them tonight.
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Ada orang-orang yang tidak ingin membicarakannya. Saya ada di sini untuk membicarakannya.
02:26
Ladies and gentlemen of the Middle East,
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Bapak-Bapak dan Ibu-Ibu di Timur Tengah,
02:28
here's a serious issue. When we see each other,
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ini adalah masalah serius. Saat kita bertemu satu sama lain
02:29
when we say hello, how many kisses are we going to do?
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saat kita menyapa, berapa banyak ciuman yang akan kita lakukan?
02:35
Every country is different and it's confusing, okay?
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Setiap negara berbeda dan itu membingungkan, ya?
02:37
In Lebanon, they do three. In Egypt, they do two.
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Di Lebanon, 3 ciuman, di Mesir, 2 ciuman.
02:41
I was in Lebanon, I got used to three.
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Saya pernah tinggal di Lebanon, jadi saya terbiasa dengan tiga.
02:43
I went to Egypt. I went to say hello to this one Egyptian guy,
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Saya pergi ke Mesir, saya ingin menyapa seorang pria Mesir,
02:46
I went, one, two. I went for three. He wasn't into it.
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satu, dua. Ketiga kalinya, dia tampak tidak mau.
02:50
(Laughter)
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(Tertawa)
02:54
I told him, I said, "No, no, no, I was just in Lebanon."
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Saya berkata, "Tidak, saya baru saja dari Lebanon."
02:57
He goes, "I don't care where you were. You just stay where you are, please. Just stay where you are."
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Katanya, "Saya tidak peduli Anda dari mana. Tolong berdiri saja di sana. Tetap di tempat Anda."
03:04
I went to Saudi Arabia. In Saudi Arabia, they go one, two,
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Saya pergi ke Arab Saudi. Di sana mereka melakukan satu, dua,
03:07
and then they stay on the same side -- three, four, five, six,
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lalu pada sisi yang sama -- tiga, empat, lima, enam,
03:10
seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18.
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tujuh, delapan, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18.
03:14
(Laughter)
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(Tertawa)
03:18
Next time you see a Saudi, look closely. They're just a little bit tilted.
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Berikutnya kalau Anda bertemu orang Arab Saudi, lihat baik-baik, mereka agak sedikit miring.
03:23
"Abdul, are you okay?""Yeah, I was saying hello for half an hour.
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"Abdul, kau tidak apa-apa?" "Ya, saya menyapa orang selama setengah jam.
03:24
I'm going to be all right."
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Saya akan baik-baik saja."
03:28
Qataris, you guys do the nose to nose.
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Orang Qatar, Anda saling menggesekkan hidung.
03:32
Why is that? Are you too tired to go all the way around?
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Kenapa? Apa Anda terlalu lelah untuk mencium kiri-kanan?
03:36
"Habibi, it's so hot. Just come here for a second. Say hello.
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"Habibi, di sini panas sekali. Kemarilah sebentar. Ucapkan salam.
03:39
Hello, Habibi. Just don't move. Just stay there please.
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Halo, Habibi. Jangan bergerak. Tetap di sana.
03:41
I need to rest."
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Saya ingin beristirahat."
03:45
Every country — Iranians, sometimes we do two, sometimes we do three.
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Setiap negara -- orang Iran, terkadang dua, terkadang tiga.
03:48
A friend of mine explained to me, before the '79 revolution,
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Seorang teman saya menjelaskan, sebelum Revolusi tahun 1979,
03:51
it was two. After the revolution, three.
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jumlahnya dua. Setelah revolusi, tiga.
03:55
So with Iranians, you can tell whose side the person is on
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Jadi jika bertemu orang Iran, Anda bisa menebak dia ada di pihak mana
03:58
based on the number of kisses they give you.
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berdasarkan jumlah ciuman yang diberikan.
04:00
Yeah, if you go one, two, three -- "I can't believe you support this regime
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Jika Anda satu, dua, tiga -- "Saya tidak percaya Anda mendukung rezim ini
04:04
with your three kisses."
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dengan memberi tiga ciuman."
04:09
But no, guys, really, it is exciting to be here,
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Tapi betulan, di sini sangat menarik,
04:12
and like I said, you guys are doing a lot culturally,
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dan seperti yang saya katakan, Anda banyak melakukan hal berbudaya,
04:15
you know, and it's amazing, and it helps change the image
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Anda tahu, itu mengagumkan, dan membantu mengubah citra
04:17
of the Middle East in the West. Like a lot of Americans
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Timur Tengah di dunia Barat. Seperti banyak orang Amerika
04:20
don't know a lot about us, about the Middle East.
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yang tidak tahu banyak tentang kita, tentang Timur Tengah.
04:23
I'm Iranian and American. I'm there. I know, I've traveled here.
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Saya seorang Iran dan seorang Amerika. Saya ada di sana dan berkunjung ke sini.
04:26
There's so much, we laugh, right?
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Ada banyak hal yang membuat kita tertawa, bukan?
04:28
People don't know we laugh. When I did the Axis of Evil comedy tour,
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Orang-orang tidak tahu kita bisa tertawa. Saat saya mengadakan tur komedi Axis of Evil (Negara-negara Poros Kejahatan),
04:31
it came out on Comedy Central, I went online
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acaranya keluar di Comedy Central, saya masuk ke situs ini
04:33
to see what people were saying about it. I ended up on a conservative website.
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untuk melihat komentar orang-orang. Saya sampai ke sebuah situs konservatif.
04:36
One guy wrote another guy. He said, "I never knew these people laughed."
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Seorang pria menulis, Katanya, "Saya tidak tahu orang-orang ini tertawa."
04:40
Think about it. You never see us laughing in American film or television, right?
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Pikirkanlah. Anda tidak pernah melihat kita tertawa dalam film-film Amerika, bukan?
04:44
Maybe like an evil -- like, "Wuhahaha, wuhahaha. (Laughter)
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Mungkin tertawa jahat -- seperti, "Wuhahaha, wuhahaha. (Tertawa)
04:48
I will kill you in the name of Allah, wuhahahahaha."
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Aku akan membunuhmu atas nama Allah, wuhahahahaha."
04:52
But never like, "ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha."
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Namun tidak pernah, "ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha."
04:56
We like to laugh. We like to celebrate life.
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Kita suka tertawa. Kita senang mensyukuri hidup.
04:59
And I wish more Americans would travel here. I always encourage my friends:
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Dan saya harap lebih banyak orang Amerika mau ke sini. Saya selalu mendorong teman-teman saya:
05:02
Travel, see the Middle East, there's so much to see, so many good people.
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Pergilah, kungjungilah Timur Tengah, ada banyak hal yang bisa dilihat, ada banyak orang baik.
05:04
And it's vice versa, and it helps stop problems
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Dan juga sebaliknya, itu membantu menyelesaikan masalah
05:08
of misunderstanding and stereotypes from happening.
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terjadinya kesalahpahaman dan praduga.
05:11
For example, I don't know if you heard about this,
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Contohnya, saya tidak tahu apa Anda pernah mendengarnya,
05:13
a little while ago in the U.S. there was a Muslim family
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beberapa saat yang lalu di Amerika ada sebuah keluarga Muslim
05:16
walking down the aisle of an airplane
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yang berjalan di lorong pesawat
05:18
talking about the safest place to sit on the plane.
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dan berbicara tentang posisi paling aman di dalam pesawat.
05:21
Some passengers overheard them, somehow misconstrued
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Beberapa penumpang mendengar mereka, dan entah kenapa menganggapnya
05:23
that as terrorist talk, got them kicked off the plane.
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sebagai pembicaraan teroris, dan membuat mereka diusir dari pesawat.
05:27
It was a family, a mother, father, child, walking down the aisle,
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Itu adalah sebuah keluarga dengan ayah, ibu, anak, yang berjalan di lorong
05:30
talking about the seating. Now as a Middle Eastern male,
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dan berbicara tentang tempat duduk. Sebagai seorang pria Timur Tengah,
05:32
I know there's certain things I'm not supposed to say
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saya tahu ada beberapa hal yang seharusnya tidak saya ucapkan
05:34
on an airplane in the U.S., right?
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di atas pesawat Amerika, ya kan?
05:37
I'm not supposed to be, like, walking down the aisle,
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Saya tidak boleh, misalnya, saat berjalan di lorong,
05:38
and be like, "Hi, Jack." You know, that's not cool.
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mengatakan, "Hai Jack" (Membajak). Itu nggak asik.
05:42
Even if I'm there with my friend named Jack, I say,
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Meski saya bersama teman saya yang bernama Jack, saya akan berkata,
05:44
"Greetings, Jack. Salutations, Jack."
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"Salam, Jack. Hormat, Jack.".
05:47
Never "Hi, Jack."
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Tidak pernah, "Hai, Jack"
05:49
(Laughter)
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(Tertawa)
05:52
But now apparently we can't even talk about
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Tapi kini sepertinya kita bahkan tidak dapat berbicara
05:53
the safest place to sit on an airplane.
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tentang tempat yang paling aman di pesawat.
05:56
So my advice to all my Middle Eastern friends and Muslim friends
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Jadi saran saya kepada semua teman-teman Timur Tengah dan Muslim
05:59
and anyone who looks Middle Eastern or Muslim,
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dan siapa saja yang terlihat seperti orang Timur Tengah atau Muslim,
06:00
so to, you know, Indians, and Latinos, everyone,
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seperti orang India, orang Amerika Latin, semuanya
06:04
if you're brown --
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kalau Anda berkulit coklat --
06:07
here's my advice to my brown friends.
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inilah saran saya bagi mereka yang berkulit coklat.
06:10
The next time you're on an airplane in the U.S.,
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Lain kali jika Anda naik pesawat di Amerika,
06:13
just speak your mother tongue.
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bicaralah dalam bahasa Anda sendiri.
06:14
That way no one knows what you're saying. Life goes on.
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Jadi tidak ada yang tahu apa yang Anda bicarakan. Hidup terus berjalan.
06:18
Granted, some mother tongues might sound
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Memang, beberapa bahasa terdengar
06:20
a little threatening to the average American, right?
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sedikit mengancam bagi orang Amerika biasa, bukan?
06:22
If you're walking down the aisle speaking Arabic,
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Kalau Anda berjalan di lorong sambil bicara bahasa Arab,
06:24
you might freak them out, if you're walking, "[Arabic],"
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Anda bisa membuat mereka panik, jika Anda berjalan. "[Bahasa Arab],"
06:28
they might say, "What's he talking about?"
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mereka mungkin berkata, "Apa yang dia bicarakan?"
06:30
So the key, to my Arab brothers and sisters,
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Jadi kuncinya, bagi saudara-saudara Arab saya,
06:32
you gotta throw in random good words to put people at ease
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adalah mengucapkan kata bagus acak sekali-sekali untuk menenangkan mereka
06:35
as you're walking down the aisle.
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saat Anda berjalan di lorong.
06:36
Just as you're walking down: "[Imitating Arabic] --
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Jadi ketika Anda berjalan, "[meniru bahasa Arab] --
06:39
strawberry!"
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strawberi!"
06:40
(Laughter)
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(Tertawa)
06:47
"[Imitating Arabic] -- rainbow!"
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"[meniru bahasa Arab] -- pelangi!"
06:52
"[Imitating Arabic] -- Tutti Frutti!"
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"[meniru bahasa Arab] -- Tutti Frutti!"
06:55
"I think he's going to hijack the plane with some ice cream."
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"Saya rasa dia akan membajak pesawat dengan es krim."
06:59
Thank you very much. Have a good night.
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Terima kasih banyak. Semoga malam Anda menyenangkan.
07:00
Thank you, TED. (Cheers) (Applause)
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Terima kasih , TED. (Sorakan) (Tepuk tangan)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Maz Jobrani - ComedianA founding member of the Axis of Evil Comedy Tour, Iranian-American comedian Maz Jobrani is now touring with his second solo comedy show, Browner and Friendlier.
Why you should listen
Maz Jobrani is an actor and comedian who starred on the Axis of Evil Middle East Comedy Tour, a groundbreaking tour of the US and Middle Eastern countries, where it sold out 27 shows in Dubai, Beirut, Cairo, Kuwait and Amman. The Axis of Evil Comedy Central Special premiered in 2007 as, arguably, the first show on American TV with an all-Middle Eastern/American cast. In 2009 Jobrani performed in his first solo world tour, called Maz Jobrani: Brown and Friendly, and is currently following up this tour with a second, titled Browner and Friendlier.
Jobrani's comedy pulls from his background as an Iran-born kid raised in Northern California. He pokes fun at cultural stereotypes of all kinds -- starting with the stereotype that Middle Eastern actors can only play a few kinds of roles in Hollywood. He's been working to develop rich characters in a variety of TV shows and films. His next project: Jimmy Vestvood: Amerikan Hero, described as a cross between a Middle Eastern Pink Panther and Bend It Like Beckham.
Maz Jobrani | Speaker | TED.com