Christian Picciolini: My descent into America's neo-Nazi movement -- and how I got out
크리스찬 피콜리니(Christian Picciolini): 미국의 네오나치 조직에 몸 담았던 나는 어떻게 단체를 탈퇴했을까.
Christian Picciolini is dedicated to helping others counter racism and extremism. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
began 22 years ago,
supremacist skinhead movement
단체를 떠났습니다.
from the time I was 14 years old,
and youngest members
America's most violent hate movement.
단체의 지도자가 되었습니다.
태어나 건 아닙니다.
어린 시절을 보냈습니다.
in the mid-1960s
things got a little bit more difficult.
생활이 조금 힘들어졌습니다.
a young family and a new business,
노력해야 했습니다.
just to earn a meager living.
두세 개씩 부업을 하셨습니다.
was pretty nonexistent.
보낸 적이 거의 없었어요.
they loved me very much,
사랑하신다는 걸 잘 알았지만
멀어져 가기 시작했습니다.
and become very angry.
매우 화가 났습니다.
through my teenage years,
attention from my parents.
눈에 띄는 행동을 하기 시작했죠.
and I was smoking a joint,
피우고 있을 때였죠.
with a shaved head and tall black boots,
검정 롱부츠를 신은 민머리의 남자가
and he looked me in the eyes,
제 눈을 바라보며
and the Jews want you to do
공산주의자나 유대인들이
and watching "Happy Days" --
"해피 데이스"를 보기만 했지
was the bad Russian guy
한 러시아 악당이었는데
baring my soul with you,
모든 비밀을 털어놓고 있는 만큼,
what the word "docile" meant.
몰랐다는 걸 고백할게요.
had offered me a lifeline.
생명줄을 던져준 것만 같았죠.
marginalized and bullied.
괴롭힘을 당한 기분이 들었죠.
who I was, where I belonged,
어디에 속한지도 몰랐고
had pulled me in,
저를 끌어들인 덕분에
with every fiber of my being.
그 생명줄을 붙잡았습니다.
as the leaders of this organization
who felt marginalized
with promises of paradise
white-power music.
만드는 것이 첫 시작이었어요.
of that infamous organization
지도자가 되었습니다.
and who had radicalized me.
no evidence of it whatsoever,
every Jewish person in the world
비난하는데 망설이지 않았습니다.
European genocide
다문화 정책으로 인해
through a multiculturalist agenda.
학살당했다고 믿었습니다.
and the drugs in the city,
마약을 남용한다고 비난했습니다.
that I was committing acts of violence
who were funneling drugs
빼앗는다고 말했죠.
my parents were hardworking immigrants
외면했습니다.
from anybody else.
받지 않으셨는데도요.
and inflict untold pain
and their families' lives.
from young women in the movement,
they were conditioned to trust,
끔찍한 이야기도 들었어요.
of violence against people,
폭력을 가했습니다.
was an upcoming race war.
무기를 비축하기도 했어요.
and performed racist music
작곡하고 연주했습니다.
to the internet decades later
인터넷에 알려지며
a young white nationalist
부분적으로 영감을 주었고
South Carolina, church
찰스턴의 교회로 들어가
nine innocent people.
영향을 주었습니다.
who was not in the movement,
속하지 않은 여자를 만났습니다.
in the delivery room that day,
with some of the innocence that I had lost
다시 마주했을 뿐 아니라,
me to the movement to begin with:
흔들리기 시작했습니다.
struggling with as a young boy.
제가 맞서 싸우던 문제들이죠.
of who I was again.
문제에 부닥치고 말았습니다.
자상한 남편이자 아버지일까?
that I had manufactured around me
만들어낸 집단일까?
and I wanted to project it onto others,
투영시키려고 한 건 아닐까?
that I had physically given life to?
그렇게 태어난 인간일까?
불태워버리는 데 있는가
a better place for my family?
더 나은 세상을 만드는 데 있는가?
who I'd been for the last eight years.
큰 혼란을 느꼈습니다.
to walk away at that moment,
that was happening inside of me,
could have been averted.
for the benefit of my family,
참여하지 않았습니다.
I could go to jail or end up dead,
두려웠으니까요.
for themselves.
혼자 살아가야 했죠.
white-power music in, of course,
사들이고 있을 때였습니다.
a racist store selling racist music
음악만 판매한다면,
allow me to be there.
알고 있었습니다.
stock the shelves with other music,
취급하기로 했습니다.
that I was selling
from all over the country to buy it
유일한 레코드였기 때문에
to buy the other music.
찾아오는 손님도 있었습니다.
to talk to me.
had been diagnosed with breast cancer.
conversation or interaction with,
나눈 적 없던 녀석에게
had been diagnosed with breast cancer,
앓은 적이 있었죠.
came in with their son,
아들과 함께 가게를 찾았습니다.
that they loved their son
부정할 수 없더군요.
that I loved mine.
그들도 아들을 사랑했어요.
or justify the prejudice
합리화할 수도 없었습니다.
music from the inventory
백인주의 음악을 파는 것이 부끄러워
to sell it in front of my new friends.
couldn't sustain itself,
nearly everything in my life.
I'd been a part of for eight years,
that I'd really known for most of my life.
사회였고 목적이었던 곳이었죠.
아무도 남지 않았습니다.
because I closed the store.
유지할 수 없게 되었습니다.
with my parents, even though they tried.
별로 좋지 않았습니다.
and disengaged quickly enough.
저를 떠났습니다.
하는지 알 수가 없었습니다.
was concerned about my well-being,
한 명이 제 안부를 걱정하며
because I don't want to see you die."
모습은 보고 싶지 않아."
apply for a job where she worked,
일자리를 제안했죠.
covered in hate tattoos.
전직 네오 나치였습니다.
high schools multiple times.
수차례 쫓겨났습니다.
back at my old high school,
where I had committed acts of violence
고등학교였습니다.
of the school for equal rights for whites
권리를 주장하며 시위를 벌이고
but Mr. Johnny Holmes,
저와 주먹다짐을 벌이고
I had gotten in a fistfight with,
학교 밖으로 끌고 갔던
years out of the movement,
탈퇴 후 몇 년이 흘렀지만
under the weight of my past,
견뎌내기로 마음먹었습니다.
I had tried to outrun it.
and cover my tattoos with long sleeves,
문신을 긴 소매로 가렸습니다.
두려웠기 때문이죠.
Mr. Holmes out to the parking lot --
주차장으로 갔습니다.
decision that I made.
he was getting into his car,
그는 차에 올라타고 있었습니다.
and he recognized me,
뒤로 물러섰습니다.
and all I could think to say was,
있도록 용기를 북돋워 줬습니다.
of some broken go-nowhere kid
감옥에 수감될게 뻔한
join a gang and go to prison.
사례로 보지 않고
of every young person who was vulnerable,
community and purpose,
절 이해해줬습니다.
to whoever would listen.
경험담을 전하라고 했죠.
지키고 있습니다.
a hardworking immigrant family
빠지고 말았는지 말이죠.
구덩이를 가진 아이였습니다.
nudge us off our path,
down pretty dark corridors.
복도에서 길을 잃게 됩니다.
on our journey in life,
or the help to navigate around them
도와줄 재원이 없다면
end up doing bad things.
who had potholes is Darrell.
사람 중 한 명이 바로 대럴입니다.
that turned out."
참 맘에 안 들어요."
"음, 죄송합니다."
we could certainly do that."
받아들이겠습니다."
of going back and forth with Darrell,
military veteran who had been injured
부상을 입었고
not being able to go to Afghanistan
매우 분노하고 있음을 알았죠.
a Muslim man in the park praying,
was kick him in the face.
걷어차 버리고 싶었다고 했습니다.
a Muslim person before?"
anything to do with them."
아무것도 하기 싫습니다."
and I went into the bathroom
화장실로 갔습니다.
from the bathroom,
imam, I need a favor.
about your religion."
for Darrell to go,
15 minutes left for us,
for a prayer service.
we came out after hugging and crying
서로 껴안고 눈물 흘리고
bonding over Chuck Norris for some reason.
척 노리스 덕분에 친해졌습니다.
that Darrell and the imam,
지방의 팔라펠 판매대 앞에서
at the local falafel stand,
여러분께 전할 수 있어서 기쁩니다.
from each other.
단절되어있습니다.
and isolation is its mother.
고립은 증오의 어머니입니다.
we tend to be afraid of it,
두려워하는 경향이 있죠.
it turns into hatred.
증오로 돌변합니다.
I've helped over a hundred people
극단주의 운동에 가담한
from white supremacist groups --
탈퇴를 도왔습니다.
주장하는 집단에서도요.
is not by arguing with them,
위해 논쟁을 벌이거나
이야기조차 하지 않아요.
for their potholes,
주의 깊게 듣습니다.
다시 회복할 수 있고
to compete in the marketplace
능력을 갖추도록 돕습니다.
to blame the other,
비난하지 않도록요.
with one last thing before I go.
한 가지만 말하고 싶습니다.
they will all tell you the same thing.
모두 같은 이야기를 들려줄 것입니다.
not because of ideology or dogma.
소속감을 원해서입니다.
they least deserved it from,
to leave you with a challenge:
하나씩 드리고 싶습니다.
hopefully every day --
가능하다면 매일 밖으로 나가
is undeserving of your compassion
생각되는 사람을 찾아보십시오.
바로 그들입니다.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Christian Picciolini - Counter-extremism specialistChristian Picciolini is dedicated to helping others counter racism and extremism.
Why you should listen
After leaving the white supremacist skinhead movement he helped build in America during the 1980s and 90s, Christian Picciolini earned a degree in international relations from DePaul University. He launched Goldmill Group, a global media and counter-extremism consulting firm. In 2016, he won an Emmy Award for his role in producing an anti-hate advertising campaign aimed at helping people disengage from violent extremist groups. His life since leaving the white-supremacist movement over two decades ago has been dedicated to helping others counter racism and extremism by founding such organizations as ExitUSA and Life After Hate.
Picciolini has spoken all over the world, sharing his unique and extensive knowledge, teaching all who are willing to learn about building greater peace through empathy and compassion. His involvement in the early American skinhead movement is chronicled in his memoir WHITE AMERICAN YOUTH: My Descent into America’s Most Violent Hate Movement—and How I Got Out (Hachette). He is co-developing a television docu-series based on his work helping people disengage from violent ideologies.
Christian Picciolini | Speaker | TED.com