TEDWomen 2010
Eve Ensler: Suddenly, my body
Eva Enslere: Pēkšņi mans ķermenis
Filmed:
Readability: 3.3
1,526,914 views
Dzejniece, rakstniece, aktīviste Eva Enslere dzīvoja savā galvā. Šajā iespaidīgajā TEDWomen runā viņa stāsta par savu mūžīgo atšķirtību no ķermeņa -- un par to, kā divi šokējoši notikumi palīdzēja viņai savienoties ar realitāti, cilvēka esības fizikalitāti.
Eve Ensler - Playwright, activist
Eve Ensler created the ground-breaking "Vagina Monologues," whose success propelled her to found V-Day -- a movement to end violence against women and girls everywhere. Full bio
Eve Ensler created the ground-breaking "Vagina Monologues," whose success propelled her to found V-Day -- a movement to end violence against women and girls everywhere. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:15
For a long time,
0
0
2000
Ilgu laiku
00:17
there was me, and my body.
1
2000
3000
biju es un mans ķermenis.
00:21
Me was composed of stories,
2
6000
3000
Es biju veidota no stāstiem,
00:24
of cravings, of strivings,
3
9000
2000
no alkām, no cenšanās,
00:26
of desires of the future.
4
11000
2000
no nākotnes sapņiem.
00:28
Me was trying
5
13000
2000
Es centos
00:30
not to be an outcome of my violent past,
6
15000
3000
nebūt savas vardarbīgās pagātnes rezultāts,
00:33
but the separation that had already occurred
7
18000
2000
bet atšķirtība, kas jau bija parādījusies
00:35
between me and my body
8
20000
2000
starp mani un manu ķermeni,
00:37
was a pretty significant outcome.
9
22000
3000
bija diezgan pamanāms iznākums.
00:40
Me was always trying to become something, somebody.
10
25000
3000
Es vienmēr centos kļūt par kaut ko, par kādu.
00:43
Me only existed in the trying.
11
28000
3000
Es eksistēju vienīgi centībā.
00:46
My body was often in the way.
12
31000
3000
Mans ķermenis bieži bija ceļā.
00:49
Me was a floating head.
13
34000
2000
Es biju nepastāvīga galva.
00:51
For years, I actually only wore hats.
14
36000
3000
Gadiem ilgi es patiesībā valkāju tikai cepures.
00:54
It was a way of keeping my head attached.
15
39000
2000
Tas bija veids, kā manai galvai palikt klāt.
00:56
It was a way of locating myself.
16
41000
3000
Tas bija veids, kā atrast sevi.
00:59
I worried that [if] I took my hat off
17
44000
2000
Es raizējos, ka tad, kad noņemšu cepuri,
01:01
I wouldn't be here anymore.
18
46000
2000
es vairs te neatradīšos.
01:03
I actually had a therapist who once said to me,
19
48000
3000
Man patiesībā bija terapeits, kurš vienreiz man teica,
01:06
"Eve, you've been coming here for two years,
20
51000
2000
"Eva, tu šeit ierodies jau divus gadus,
01:08
and, to be honest, it never occurred to me that you had a body."
21
53000
3000
un, atklāti sakot, es nekad neesmu pamanījis, ka tev ir ķermenis."
01:11
All this time I lived in the city
22
56000
2000
Visu šo laiku es dzīvoju pilsētā,
01:13
because, to be honest,
23
58000
2000
jo, atklāti sakot,
01:15
I was afraid of trees.
24
60000
2000
man bija bail no kokiem.
01:17
I never had babies
25
62000
2000
Man nebija bērnu,
01:19
because heads cannot give birth.
26
64000
2000
jo galvas nevar dzemdēt.
01:21
Babies actually don't come out of your mouth.
27
66000
3000
Bērni patiesībā nenāk ārā pa tavu muti.
01:24
As I had no reference point for my body,
28
69000
3000
Tā kā manam ķermenim nebija atbalsta punkta,
01:27
I began to ask other women about their bodies --
29
72000
3000
es sāku jautāt citām sievietēm par viņu ķermeņiem --
01:30
in particular, their vaginas,
30
75000
2000
konkrētāk, par viņu makstīm,
01:32
because I thought vaginas were kind of important.
31
77000
2000
jo es domāju, ka makstis bija savā ziņā svarīgas.
01:34
This led to me writing "The Vagina Monologues,"
32
79000
2000
Tas mani noveda pie "Vagīnas monologu" rakstīšanas,
01:36
which led to me obsessively and incessantly
33
81000
3000
kas noveda pie tā, ka visur, kur varēju,
01:39
talking about vaginas everywhere I could.
34
84000
3000
es pārņemta un vienā laidā runāju par makstīm.
01:42
I did this in front of many strangers.
35
87000
3000
Es to darīju daudzu svešinieku klātbūtnē.
01:45
One night on stage,
36
90000
2000
Kādu vakaru uz skatuves
01:47
I actually entered my vagina.
37
92000
3000
es patiesībā iegāju savā makstī.
01:50
It was an ecstatic experience.
38
95000
3000
Tā bija ekstātiska pieredze.
01:53
It scared me, it energized me,
39
98000
3000
Tas biedēja mani, tas uzmundrināja mani,
01:56
and then I became a driven person,
40
101000
3000
un tad es kļuvu par motivētu cilvēku,
01:59
a driven vagina.
41
104000
2000
maksts motivētu.
02:01
I began to see my body like a thing,
42
106000
3000
Es sāku redzēt savu ķermeni kā lietu,
02:04
a thing that could move fast,
43
109000
2000
lietu, kas var ātri pārvietoties,
02:06
like a thing that could accomplish other things,
44
111000
2000
kā lietu, kas var paveikt citas lietas,
02:08
many things, all at once.
45
113000
3000
daudzas lietas vienlaicīgi.
02:11
I began to see my body like an iPad or a car.
46
116000
3000
Es sāku redzēt savu ķermeni kā iPodu vai kā mašīnu.
02:14
I would drive it and demand things from it.
47
119000
2000
Es spēju to vadīt un pieprasīt no tā lietas.
02:16
It had no limits. It was invincible.
48
121000
3000
Tam nebija robežu. Tas bija neuzvarams.
02:19
It was to be conquered and mastered like the Earth herself.
49
124000
3000
To bija jāiekaro un jāvada kā pašu Zemi.
02:22
I didn't heed it;
50
127000
2000
Es tam nepievērsu uzmanību;
02:24
no, I organized it and I directed it.
51
129000
2000
nē, es to organizēju un vadīju.
02:26
I didn't have patience for my body;
52
131000
2000
Man nebija pacietības priekš sava ķermeņa;
02:28
I snapped it into shape.
53
133000
2000
es no tam izveidoju formu.
02:30
I was greedy.
54
135000
2000
Es biju alkatīga.
02:32
I took more than my body had to offer.
55
137000
2000
Es paņēmu vairāk, nekā manam ķermenim bija ko piedāvāt.
02:34
If I was tired, I drank more espressos.
56
139000
3000
Ja es biju nogurusi, es dzēru vairāk espresso.
02:37
If I was afraid, I went to more dangerous places.
57
142000
3000
Ja man bija bail, es devos uz vēl bīstamākām vietām.
02:40
Oh sure, sure, I had moments of appreciation of my body,
58
145000
3000
Protams, protams, bija brīži, kad novērtēju savu ķermeni,
02:43
the way an abusive parent
59
148000
2000
veidā, kādā rupjam vecākam
02:45
can sometimes have a moment of kindness.
60
150000
2000
reizēm var būt laipnības brīži.
02:47
My father was really kind to me
61
152000
2000
Mans tēvs bija ļoti labs pret mani
02:49
on my 16th birthday, for example.
62
154000
2000
manā 16. dzimšanas dienā, piemēram.
02:51
I heard people murmur from time to time
63
156000
2000
Es dzirdēju cilvēkus murminot laiku pa laikam,
02:53
that I should love my body,
64
158000
2000
ka man vajadzētu mīlēt savu ķermeni,
02:55
so I learned how to do this.
65
160000
2000
tāpēc es iemācījos, kā to izdarīt.
02:57
I was a vegetarian, I was sober, I didn't smoke.
66
162000
3000
Es biju veģetāriete, es nedzēru, nesmēķēju.
03:00
But all that was just a more sophisticated way
67
165000
2000
Bet tas viss bija tikai nedaudz izsmalcinātāks veids,
03:02
to manipulate my body --
68
167000
2000
lai manipulētu savu ķermeni --
03:04
a further disassociation,
69
169000
2000
tālāka atsvešināšanās,
03:06
like planting a vegetable field on a freeway.
70
171000
4000
kā sējot dārzeņu lauku uz automaģistrāles.
03:11
As a result of me talking so much about my vagina,
71
176000
3000
Man tik daudz runājot par savu maksti,
03:14
many women started to tell me about theirs --
72
179000
3000
daudzas sievietes sāka stāstīt par savējām --
03:17
their stories about their bodies.
73
182000
2000
savus stāstus par viņu ķermeņiem.
03:19
Actually, these stories compelled me around the world,
74
184000
3000
Patiesībā šie stāsti piespieda mani ceļot pa pasauli,
03:22
and I've been to over 60 countries.
75
187000
2000
un es esmu vairāk kā 60 valstīs.
03:24
I heard thousands of stories,
76
189000
2000
Es dzirdēju tūkstošiem stāstu.
03:26
and I have to tell you, there was always this moment
77
191000
2000
Un man jums jāsaka, ka vienmēr šis bija brīdis,
03:28
where the women shared with me
78
193000
2000
kad sievietes dalījās ar mani
03:30
that particular moment when she separated from her body --
79
195000
4000
ar šo īpašo brīdi, kad viņas atdalījās no sava ķermeņa --
03:34
when she left home.
80
199000
2000
kad viņas pameta mājas.
03:36
I heard about women being molested in their beds,
81
201000
4000
Es dzirdēju par sievietēm, kurām uzmācās viņu gultās,
03:40
flogged in their burqas,
82
205000
2000
kuras tika sistas savās burkās (islama sieviešu tērps),
03:42
left for dead in parking lots,
83
207000
2000
un tika atstātas, lai nomirtu stāvvietās,
03:44
acid burned in their kitchens.
84
209000
2000
kuras tika apdedzinātas ar skābi savās virtuvēs.
03:46
Some women became quiet and disappeared.
85
211000
3000
Dažas sievietes kļuva klusas un pazuda.
03:49
Other women became mad, driven machines like me.
86
214000
3000
Citas sievietes kļuva trakas, vadāmas mašīnas kā es.
03:53
In the middle of my traveling,
87
218000
2000
Sava ceļojuma vidū
03:55
I turned 40 and I began to hate my body,
88
220000
2000
man palika 40 gadi un es sāku ienīst savu ķermeni,
03:57
which was actually progress,
89
222000
2000
kas patiesībā bija progress,
03:59
because at least my body existed enough to hate it.
90
224000
3000
jo vismaz mans ķermenis eksistēja pietiekami, lai to ienīstu.
04:02
Well my stomach -- it was my stomach I hated.
91
227000
3000
Mans vēders -- tas, ko es ienīdu, bija mans vēders.
04:05
It was proof that I had not measured up,
92
230000
3000
Tas bija pierādījums, ka es nebiju pakāpusies augstāk,
04:08
that I was old and not fabulous and not perfect
93
233000
3000
ka es biju veca un nebiju lieliska un arī ne perfekta,
04:11
or able to fit into the predetermined corporate image in shape.
94
236000
4000
vai spējīga iekļauties formas noteiktajā kopīgajā attēlā.
04:15
My stomach was proof that I had failed,
95
240000
3000
Mans vēders bija pierādījums, ka es cietu neveiksmi,
04:18
that it had failed me, that it was broken.
96
243000
3000
ka tas mani izgāza, ka tas bija beigts.
04:21
My life became about getting rid of it and obsessing about getting rid of it.
97
246000
3000
Mana dzīve kļuva par cenšanos tikt no tā vaļā un par apsēstību no cenšanās tikt no tā vaļā.
04:24
In fact, it became so extreme
98
249000
2000
Patiesībā, tas kļuva tik ekstrēmi,
04:26
I wrote a play about it.
99
251000
2000
ka es par to uzrakstīju lugu.
04:28
But the more I talked about it,
100
253000
2000
Bet jo vairāk es par to runāju,
04:30
the more objectified and fragmented my body became.
101
255000
3000
jo objektīvāks un sadrumstalotāks mans ķermenis kļuva.
04:33
It became entertainment; it became a new kind of commodity,
102
258000
3000
Tas kļuva par izklaidi; tas kļuva par jauna veida preci,
04:36
something I was selling.
103
261000
3000
par kaut ko, ko es pārdevu.
04:39
Then I went somewhere else.
104
264000
2000
Tad es devos uz citurieni.
04:41
I went outside
105
266000
2000
Es devos ārā no tā,
04:43
what I thought I knew.
106
268000
2000
ko, es domāju, ka pazinu.
04:45
I went to the Democratic Republic of Congo.
107
270000
4000
Es devos uz Kongo Demokrātisko Republiku.
04:49
And I heard stories
108
274000
2000
Un es dzirdēju stāstus,
04:51
that shattered all the other stories.
109
276000
2000
kas sagrāva visus pārējos stāstus.
04:53
I heard stories
110
278000
2000
Es dzirdēju stāstus,
04:55
that got inside my body.
111
280000
2000
kas iekļuva mana ķermeņa iekšpusē.
04:57
I heard about a little girl
112
282000
2000
Es dzirdēju par mazu meiteni,
04:59
who couldn't stop peeing on herself
113
284000
2000
kura nevarēja beigt čurāt sev virsū,
05:01
because so many grown soldiers
114
286000
2000
jo tik daudzi pieauguši karavīri
05:03
had shoved themselves inside her.
115
288000
3000
bija iegrūduši sevi viņā.
05:06
I heard an 80-year-old woman
116
291000
2000
Es dzirdēju 80 gadus vecu sievieti,
05:08
whose legs were broken and pulled out of her sockets
117
293000
3000
kuras kājas bija salauztas un izrautas no vietām,
05:11
and twisted up on her head
118
296000
2000
un pielauztas pie viņas galvas,
05:13
as the soldiers raped her like that.
119
298000
2000
jo viņu tādā veidā izvaroja karavīri.
05:15
There are thousands of these stories,
120
300000
2000
Ir tūkstošiem šādu stāstu.
05:17
and many of the women had holes in their bodies --
121
302000
3000
Un daudzām sievietēm bija caurumi uz ķermeņa --
05:20
holes, fistula --
122
305000
2000
caurumi, fistulas --
05:22
that were the violation of war --
123
307000
3000
kas bija kara vardarbība --
05:25
holes in the fabric of their souls.
124
310000
3000
caurumi viņu dvēseļu materiālā.
05:28
These stories saturated my cells and nerves,
125
313000
3000
Šie stāsti piepildīja manas šūnas un nervus.
05:31
and to be honest,
126
316000
2000
Un atklāti sakot,
05:33
I stopped sleeping for three years.
127
318000
2000
es negulēju trīs gadus.
05:35
All the stories began to bleed together.
128
320000
3000
Visi stāsti kopā sāka asiņot.
05:38
The raping of the Earth,
129
323000
2000
Zemes izpostīšana,
05:40
the pillaging of minerals,
130
325000
2000
minerālu izlaupīšana,
05:42
the destruction of vaginas --
131
327000
2000
makstu iznīcināšana --
05:44
none of these were separate anymore
132
329000
3000
neviens no šiem vairs nebija atdalāms
05:47
from each other or me.
133
332000
2000
viens no otra vai manis.
05:49
Militias were raping six-month-old babies
134
334000
3000
Milicija izvaroja sešus mēnešus vecus bērnus,
05:52
so that countries far away
135
337000
2000
lai tām tālajām valstīm
05:54
could get access to gold and coltan
136
339000
2000
būtu pieeja zeltam un koltānam
05:56
for their iPhones and computers.
137
341000
3000
viņu iPhone un datoriem.
05:59
My body had not only become a driven machine,
138
344000
3000
Mans ķermenis ne tikai kļuva par vadāmu mašīnu,
06:02
but it was responsible now
139
347000
2000
bet tas bija atbildīgs
06:04
for destroying other women's bodies
140
349000
2000
par citu sieviešu ķermeņu iznīcināšanu
06:06
in its mad quest to make more machines
141
351000
2000
trakajā vēlmē ražot vairāk mašīnu,
06:08
to support the speed and efficiency of my machine.
142
353000
4000
lai atbalstītu manas mašīnas ātrumu un efektivitāti.
06:12
Then I got cancer --
143
357000
2000
Tad es saslimu ar vēzi --
06:14
or I found out I had cancer.
144
359000
2000
vai arī es noskaidroju, ka man ir vēzis.
06:16
It arrived like a speeding bird
145
361000
2000
Tas uzradās kā steidzīgs putns,
06:18
smashing into a windowpane.
146
363000
3000
ietriecoties loga rūtī.
06:21
Suddenly, I had a body,
147
366000
2000
Pēkšņi man bija ķermenis,
06:23
a body that was pricked
148
368000
2000
ķermenis, kas tika durts,
06:25
and poked and punctured,
149
370000
2000
un bakstīts, un pārdurts,
06:27
a body that was cut wide open,
150
372000
3000
ķermenis, kas tika atgriezts plaši vaļā,
06:30
a body that had organs removed
151
375000
2000
ķermenis, kam tika izņemti orgāni,
06:32
and transported and rearranged and reconstructed,
152
377000
3000
tie tika pārvietoti, un pārkārtoti, un atjaunoti,
06:35
a body that was scanned
153
380000
2000
ķermenis, kas tika skanēts,
06:37
and had tubes shoved down it,
154
382000
2000
un kurā parādījās caurulītes,
06:39
a body that was burning from chemicals.
155
384000
3000
ķermenis, kas dega no ķīmiskiem līdzekļiem.
06:42
Cancer exploded
156
387000
2000
Vēzis uzspridzināja
06:44
the wall of my disconnection.
157
389000
3000
manas nesaistības sienu.
06:47
I suddenly understood that the crisis in my body
158
392000
3000
Pēkšņi es sapratu, ka krīze manā ķermenī
06:50
was the crisis in the world,
159
395000
2000
bija krīze pasaulē,
06:52
and it wasn't happening later,
160
397000
2000
un tā nenotika vēlāk,
06:54
it was happening now.
161
399000
2000
tā notika tagad.
06:56
Suddenly, my cancer was a cancer that was everywhere,
162
401000
3000
Pēkšņi mans vēzis bija vēzis, kas bija visur,
06:59
the cancer of cruelty, the cancer of greed,
163
404000
3000
cietsirdības vēzis, alkatības vēzis,
07:02
the cancer that gets inside people
164
407000
2000
vēzis, kas iekļūst cilvēkos,
07:04
who live down the streets from chemical plants -- and they're usually poor --
165
409000
4000
kuri dzīvo uz ielām, no ķīmisko rūpnīcu tuvumā -- un viņi parasti ir nabadzīgi --
07:08
the cancer inside the coal miner's lungs,
166
413000
2000
vēzis ogļrača plaušās,
07:10
the cancer of stress for not achieving enough,
167
415000
3000
vēzis no stresa par to, ka nesasniedz pietiekami,
07:13
the cancer of buried trauma,
168
418000
2000
vēzis no iekšējas traumas,
07:15
the cancer in caged chickens and polluted fish,
169
420000
3000
vēzis ieslodzītos cāļos un piesārņotās zivīs,
07:18
the cancer in women's uteruses from being raped,
170
423000
3000
vēzis sieviešu dzemdēs no izvarošanas,
07:21
the cancer that is everywhere from our carelessness.
171
426000
3000
vēzis, kas ir visur no mūsu vieglprātības.
07:24
In his new and visionary book,
172
429000
3000
Savā jaunajā un iedomu grāmatā
07:27
"New Self, New World,"
173
432000
2000
"Jauns es, jauna pasaule"
07:29
the writer Philip Shepherd says,
174
434000
2000
rakstnieks Filips Šeperds saka,
07:31
"If you are divided from your body,
175
436000
3000
"Ja tu esi atdalīts no sava ķermeņa,
07:34
you are also divided from the body of the world,
176
439000
3000
tu esi arī atdalīts no pasaules ķermeņa,
07:37
which then appears to be other than you
177
442000
2000
kurš tad parādās citāds nekā tu,
07:39
or separate from you,
178
444000
2000
vai atdalīts no tevis,
07:41
rather than the living continuum
179
446000
2000
drīzāk kā dzīvojoša nepārtrauktība,
07:43
to which you belong."
180
448000
2000
kurai tu piederi."
07:45
Before cancer,
181
450000
2000
Pirms vēža
07:47
the world was something other.
182
452000
2000
pasaule bija citāda.
07:49
It was as if I was living in a stagnant pool
183
454000
3000
Bija tā, it kā es dzīvotu stāvošā dīķī
07:52
and cancer dynamited the boulder
184
457000
2000
un vēzis uzspridzināja laukakmeni,
07:54
that was separating me from the larger sea.
185
459000
3000
kas atdalīja mani no lielākas jūras.
07:57
Now I am swimming in it.
186
462000
3000
Tagad es tajā peldu.
08:00
Now I lay down in the grass
187
465000
2000
Tagad es atguļos zālē
08:02
and I rub my body in it,
188
467000
2000
un iegremdēju savu ķermeni tajā,
08:04
and I love the mud on my legs and feet.
189
469000
3000
un es mīlu dubļus uz savām kājām un pēdām.
08:07
Now I make a daily pilgrimage
190
472000
3000
Tagad es veicu ikdienas svētceļojumu,
08:10
to visit a particular weeping willow by the Seine,
191
475000
3000
lai apmeklētu kādu sēru vītolu pie Seines upes,
08:13
and I hunger for the green fields
192
478000
2000
un es ilgojos pēc zaļajiem laukiem
08:15
in the bush outside Bukavu.
193
480000
2000
krūmājos ārpus Bukavu.
08:17
And when it rains hard rain,
194
482000
2000
Un kad stipri līst,
08:19
I scream and I run in circles.
195
484000
3000
es kliedzu un skrienu apļus.
08:22
I know that everything is connected,
196
487000
4000
Es zinu, ka viss ir saistīts,
08:26
and the scar that runs the length of my torso
197
491000
3000
un rēta, kas stiepjas mana rumpja garumā,
08:29
is the markings of the earthquake.
198
494000
2000
ir zemestrīces zīmes.
08:31
And I am there with the three million in the streets of Port-au-Prince.
199
496000
4000
Un es esmu šeit kopā ar trīs miljoniem Port-au-Prince ielās.
08:35
And the fire that burned in me
200
500000
2000
Un uguns, kas deg manī
08:37
on day three through six of chemo
201
502000
3000
trešajā no sešām ķīmijterapijas dienām,
08:40
is the fire that is burning
202
505000
2000
ir uguns, kas deg
08:42
in the forests of the world.
203
507000
2000
pasaules mežos.
08:44
I know that the abscess
204
509000
2000
Es zinu, ka augonis,
08:46
that grew around my wound after the operation,
205
511000
3000
kas auga ap manu ievainojumu pēc operācijas,
08:49
the 16 ounces of puss,
206
514000
2000
16 unces strutu,
08:51
is the contaminated Gulf of Mexico,
207
516000
3000
ir saindētais Meksikas līcis,
08:54
and there were oil-drenched pelicans inside me
208
519000
3000
un manī bija naftā samirkuši pelikāni
08:57
and dead floating fish.
209
522000
2000
un mirušas peldošas zivis.
08:59
And the catheters they shoved into me without proper medication
210
524000
3000
Un katetri, kas manī tika iegrūsti bez pareiziem atsāpināšanas līdzekļiem,
09:02
made me scream out
211
527000
2000
lika man kliegt
09:04
the way the Earth cries out from the drilling.
212
529000
4000
veidā, kādā Zeme raud no urbšanas.
09:08
In my second chemo,
213
533000
2000
Otrās ķīmijterapijas laikā
09:10
my mother got very sick
214
535000
2000
smagi saslima mana māte
09:12
and I went to see her.
215
537000
2000
un es devos viņu apraudzīt.
09:14
And in the name of connectedness,
216
539000
2000
Un saistības vārdā
09:16
the only thing she wanted before she died
217
541000
3000
vienīgā lieta, ko viņa vēlējās pirms nāves,
09:19
was to be brought home
218
544000
2000
bija nokļūt mājās
09:21
by her beloved Gulf of Mexico.
219
546000
3000
pie viņas mīļotā Meksikas līča.
09:24
So we brought her home,
220
549000
2000
Tā nu mēs atvedām viņu mājās,
09:26
and I prayed that the oil wouldn't wash up on her beach
221
551000
2000
un es lūdzos, lai nafta neizskalotos pludmalē,
09:28
before she died.
222
553000
2000
pirms viņa nomirst.
09:30
And gratefully, it didn't.
223
555000
2000
Un, par laimi, tā nenotika.
09:32
And she died quietly in her favorite place.
224
557000
3000
Un viņa nomira klusi savā mīļākajā vietā.
09:35
And a few weeks later, I was in New Orleans,
225
560000
2000
Un pēc pāris nedēļām es biju Ņūorleānā,
09:37
and this beautiful, spiritual friend
226
562000
2000
un šis skaistais, apgarotais draugs
09:39
told me she wanted to do a healing for me.
227
564000
2000
man teica, ka viņa vēlējusies mani izārstēt.
09:41
And I was honored.
228
566000
2000
Un es biju pagodināta.
09:43
And I went to her house, and it was morning,
229
568000
2000
Un es devos uz viņas māju, tas bija rīts,
09:45
and the morning New Orleans sun was filtering through the curtains.
230
570000
3000
un šajā rītā Ņūorleānas saule spiedās cauri aizkariem.
09:48
And my friend was preparing this big bowl,
231
573000
2000
Un mana draudzene gatavoja šo lielo bļodu,
09:50
and I said, "What is it?"
232
575000
2000
un es prasīju, "Kas tas ir?"
09:52
And she said, "It's for you.
233
577000
2000
Un viņa teica, "Tas ir tev.
09:54
The flowers make it beautiful,
234
579000
3000
Ziedi padara to skaistu,
09:57
and the honey makes it sweet."
235
582000
2000
un medus padara to saldu."
09:59
And I said, "But what's the water part?"
236
584000
2000
Un es jautāju, "Bet kāda ir ūdens daļa?"
10:01
And in the name of connectedness,
237
586000
2000
Un saistības vārdā
10:03
she said, "Oh, it's the Gulf of Mexico."
238
588000
3000
viņa teica, "O, tas ir Meksikas līcis."
10:06
And I said, "Of course it is."
239
591000
2000
Un es teicu, "Protams, ka tas ir."
10:08
And the other women arrived and they sat in a circle,
240
593000
2000
Un cita sieviete ieradās un viņas sēdēja aplī,
10:10
and Michaela bathed my head with the sacred water.
241
595000
3000
un Mihaela mazgāja manu galvu ar svēto ūdeni.
10:13
And she sang -- I mean her whole body sang.
242
598000
3000
Un viņa dziedāja -- viss viņas ķermenis dziedāja.
10:16
And the other women sang
243
601000
2000
Un otra sieviete dziedāja,
10:18
and they prayed for me and my mother.
244
603000
2000
un viņas lūdzās par mani un manu māti.
10:20
And as the warm Gulf washed over my naked head,
245
605000
3000
Un kad siltais līcis pārskalojās pār manu kailo galvu,
10:23
I realized that it held
246
608000
2000
es sapratu, ka tas satur
10:25
the best and the worst of us.
247
610000
3000
labāko un sliktāko no mums.
10:28
It was the greed and recklessness
248
613000
2000
Tā bija alkatība un neapdomība,
10:30
that led to the drilling explosion.
249
615000
3000
kas noveda pie urbjošā sprādziena.
10:33
It was all the lies that got told
250
618000
2000
Tie bija visi meli, kas tika teikti
10:35
before and after.
251
620000
2000
pirms un pēc.
10:37
It was the honey in the water that made it sweet,
252
622000
2000
Tas bija medus ūdenī, kas padarīja to saldu,
10:39
it was the oil that made it sick.
253
624000
3000
tā bija nafta, kas padarīja to slimu.
10:42
It was my head that was bald --
254
627000
2000
Tā bija mana galva, kas bija bez matiem
10:44
and comfortable now without a hat.
255
629000
2000
un tagad ērti jutās bez cepures.
10:46
It was my whole self
256
631000
2000
Tā biju visa es,
10:48
melting into Michaela's lap.
257
633000
2000
izkūstot Mihaelas klēpī.
10:50
It was the tears that were indistinguishable from the Gulf
258
635000
3000
Tās bija asaras, kas bija neatšķiramas no līča,
10:53
that were falling down my cheek.
259
638000
2000
tās krita lejup pa manu vaigu.
10:55
It was finally being in my body.
260
640000
5000
Beidzot tā bija atrašanās manā pašas ķermenī.
11:00
It was the sorrow
261
645000
2000
Tās bija bēdas,
11:02
that's taken so long.
262
647000
2000
kas bija tik ilgi.
11:04
It was finding my place
263
649000
2000
Tas bija atrast manu vietu
11:06
and the huge responsibility
264
651000
2000
un milzīga atbildība,
11:08
that comes with connection.
265
653000
2000
kas nāk līdzi ar saikni.
11:10
It was the continuing devastating war in the Congo
266
655000
3000
Tas bija nepārtraukts postošs karš Kongo
11:13
and the indifference of the world.
267
658000
2000
un pasaules vienaldzība.
11:15
It was the Congolese women
268
660000
2000
Tās bija Kongo sievietes,
11:17
who are now rising up.
269
662000
2000
kas nu pamostas.
11:19
It was my mother leaving,
270
664000
2000
Tā bija mana māte, kas aizgāja
11:21
just at the moment
271
666000
2000
brīdī,
11:23
that I was being born.
272
668000
2000
kad es piedzimu.
11:25
It was the realization
273
670000
2000
Tā bija apzināšanās,
11:27
that I had come very close to dying --
274
672000
2000
ka esmu pietuvojusies ļoti tuvu nāvei --
11:29
in the same way that the Earth, our mother,
275
674000
3000
tajā pašā veidā, kā Zeme, mūsu māte,
11:32
is barely holding on,
276
677000
3000
tik tikko turas,
11:35
in the same way that 75 percent of the planet
277
680000
4000
tādā pašā veidā 75% no pasaules
11:39
are hardly scraping by,
278
684000
3000
ar pūlēm turās,
11:42
in the same way
279
687000
2000
tajā pašā veidā,
11:44
that there is a recipe for survival.
280
689000
3000
ka ir recepte izdzīvošanai.
11:47
What I learned
281
692000
2000
Tas, ko es iemācījos,
11:49
is it has to do with attention and resources
282
694000
3000
ir, ka tam, ko katrs ir pelnījis,
11:52
that everybody deserves.
283
697000
2000
ir saistība ar uzmanību un spējām.
11:54
It was advocating friends
284
699000
2000
Tie bija atbalstoši draugi
11:56
and a doting sister.
285
701000
2000
un mīloša māsa.
11:58
It was wise doctors and advanced medicine
286
703000
2000
Tie bija gudri ārsti un attīstīta medicīna,
12:00
and surgeons who knew what to do with their hands.
287
705000
3000
un ķirurgi, kas zināja, ko darīt ar savām rokām.
12:03
It was underpaid and really loving nurses.
288
708000
4000
Tās bija par zemu atalgotas un patiesi mīlošas māsiņas.
12:07
It was magic healers and aromatic oils.
289
712000
3000
Tie bija burvju dziednieki un aromātiskās eļļas.
12:10
It was people who came with spells and rituals.
290
715000
2000
Tie bija cilvēki, kuri teica burvju vārdus un veica rituālus.
12:12
It was having a vision of the future
291
717000
3000
Tā bija nākotnes redzējuma esamība
12:15
and something to fight for,
292
720000
2000
un kaut kas, par ko cīnīties,
12:17
because I know this struggle isn't my own.
293
722000
3000
jo es zinu, ka šī cīņa nav tikai manējā.
12:20
It was a million prayers.
294
725000
2000
Tās bija miljoniem lūgšanas.
12:22
It was a thousand hallelujahs
295
727000
2000
Tās bija tūkstošiem alelujas
12:24
and a million oms.
296
729000
2000
un miljoniem omu.
12:26
It was a lot of anger,
297
731000
2000
Tās bija milzums dusmu,
12:28
insane humor,
298
733000
2000
neprātīgs humors,
12:30
a lot of attention, outrage.
299
735000
2000
daudz uzmanības, varmācības.
12:32
It was energy, love and joy.
300
737000
3000
Tas bija spēks, mīlestība un prieks.
12:35
It was all these things.
301
740000
2000
Tās bija visas šīs lietas.
12:37
It was all these things.
302
742000
2000
Tās bija visas šīs lietas.
12:39
It was all these things
303
744000
2000
Tās bija visas šīs lietas
12:41
in the water, in the world, in my body.
304
746000
3000
ūdenī, pasaulē, manā ķermenī.
12:44
(Applause)
305
749000
8000
(Aplausi)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Eve Ensler - Playwright, activistEve Ensler created the ground-breaking "Vagina Monologues," whose success propelled her to found V-Day -- a movement to end violence against women and girls everywhere.
Why you should listen
Inspired by intimate conversations with friends, Eve Ensler wrote The Vagina Monologues. The play recounts tender, funny, gripping and horrifying stories she gathered from hundreds of women about their bodies, their sexual experiences, and yes, their vaginas. Since its first staging in 1996, it has been translated into more than 45 languages, performed in more than 120 countries and re-created as an HBO film.
The Vagina Monologues' success allowed Ensler to create V-Day, a global activist movement to end violence against women and girls, which has so far raised $85 million to prevent violence and protect abused women. In February 2011, Ensler received the Isabelle Stephenson Tony Award for her philanthropic work. Ensler has also drawn praise for The Good Body, a play that cuts to women's obsession with their appearance, and her film What I Want My Words to Do to You, which portrays a writing group she leads at a correctional facility for women. Today, she continues to find new projects and push the envelope. Her latest play, I Am an Emotional Creature: The Secret Life of Girls Around the World, hit the New York Times bestseller list and just wrapped a workshop production in Johannesburg -- nest stop is Paris and then Berkeley in June 2012.
Eve Ensler | Speaker | TED.com