TEDxMidwest
William Ury: The walk from "no" to "yes"
威廉·尤里William Ury：从“不”到“是”的历程
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Readability: 3.3
2,393,780 views
《谈判力》的作者威廉·尤里，提供了一种高雅，简单（但是并不容易）的方法，它使得人们在哪怕是最困难的谈判中，比如从家庭争端，也许到中东问题上达成一致。
William Ury - Mediator
William Ury is a mediator, writer and speaker, working with conflicts ranging from family feuds to boardroom battles to ethnic wars. He's the author of "Getting to Yes." Full bio
William Ury is a mediator, writer and speaker, working with conflicts ranging from family feuds to boardroom battles to ethnic wars. He's the author of "Getting to Yes." Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:15
Well, the subject of difficult negotiation
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艰难的谈判这个主题
00:18
reminds me of one of my favorite stories
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使我想起了一个我最喜欢的
00:20
from the Middle East,
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中东的故事，
00:22
of a man who left to his three sons 17 camels.
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有一个男人给他的三个孩子留下了17只骆驼。
00:25
To the first son, he left half the camels.
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他给大儿子一半的骆驼；
00:28
To the second son, he left a third of the camels,
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给二儿子三分之一的骆驼；
00:30
and to the youngest son, he left a ninth of the camels.
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给小儿子九分之一的骆驼。
00:32
Well three sons got into a negotiation.
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然后三个儿子就开始了谈判。
00:34
Seventeen doesn't divide by two.
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17无法被2整除。
00:36
It doesn't divide by three.
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17无法被3整除。
00:38
It doesn't divide by nine.
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17也无法被9整除。
00:40
Brotherly tempers started to get strained.
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三兄弟的脾气开始变得冒火。
00:42
Finally, in desperation,
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最终，他们绝望了，
00:44
they went and they consulted a wise old woman.
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他们去咨询了一个聪明的老妇人。
00:47
The wise old woman thought about their problem for a long time,
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这个聪明的老妇人对他们的问题想了很久，
00:49
and finally she came back and said,
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最终她走了回来说，
00:51
"Well, I don't know if I can help you,
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“嗯，我不知道我能否帮助你们，
00:53
but at least, if you want, you can have my camel."
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但至少，如果你们愿意的话，你们可以把我的骆驼拿走。”
00:55
So then they had 18 camels.
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于是他们有了18只骆驼。
00:57
The first son took his half -- half of 18 is nine.
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大儿子拿了一半儿骆驼，18的一半儿是9只。
01:00
The second son took his third -- a third of 18 is six.
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二儿子拿了三分之一，18的三分之一是6只。
01:03
The youngest son took his ninth --
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小儿子拿了他的九分之一，
01:05
a ninth of 18 is two.
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18的九分之一是2只。
01:07
You get 17.
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于是得到了17只。
01:09
They had one camel left over.
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他们最后剩下了一只骆驼。
01:11
They gave it back to the wise old woman.
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他们又把它还给了聪明的老妇人。
01:13
(Laughter)
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(笑声)
01:15
Now if you think about that story for a moment,
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如果现在你仔细思考一下这个故事的话，
01:17
I think it resembles
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我觉得它像
01:19
a lot of the difficult negotiations we get involved in.
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很多我们所经历过的艰难谈判一样。
01:22
They start off like 17 camels -- no way to resolve it.
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开始他们有17只骆驼--这根本就没办法解决。
01:24
Somehow, what we need to do
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然而我们需要做的
01:26
is step back from those situations, like that wise old woman,
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是从问题当中走出来，就像那个聪明的老妇人一样
01:29
look at the situation through fresh eyes
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重新来看待这个情况，
01:31
and come up with an 18th camel.
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然后想出那第18只骆驼的方法。
01:35
Now finding that 18th camel in the world's conflicts
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找出世界争端的第18只骆驼
01:37
has been my life passion.
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现在成为了我一生的激情所在。
01:40
I basically see humanity a bit like those three brothers.
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我基本上认为人类就像这三个兄弟一样；
01:43
We're all one family.
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我们是一个大家庭。
01:45
We know that scientifically,
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我们从科学的角度知道这一点
01:47
thanks to the communications revolution,
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感谢信息革命
01:49
all the tribes on the planet, all 15,000 tribes,
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使地球上所有的部落，所有15,000个部落
01:52
are in touch with each other.
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相连在一起。
01:55
And it's a big family reunion,
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这是一个大家庭的团圆。
01:57
and yet, like many family reunions,
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而且，像很多家庭团圆一样，
01:59
it's not all peace and light.
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并不总是和平与光明的，
02:01
There's a lot of conflict,
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也有很多的争端。
02:03
and the question is,
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问题是，
02:05
how do we deal with our differences?
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我们怎样处理我们之间的差异？
02:07
How do we deal with our deepest differences,
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我们怎么处理我们内在的不同，
02:09
given the human propensity for conflict
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鉴于人类制造冲突的本性
02:11
and the human genius
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以及拥有制造
02:13
at devising weapons of enormous destruction?
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大规模杀伤性武器的才能？
02:16
That's the question.
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这是一个问题。
02:18
As I've spent the last better part of three decades,
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我花了三十多年的时间——
02:21
almost four,
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基本上是四十年
02:23
traveling the world,
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来环球旅行
02:25
trying to work, getting involved in conflicts
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努力工作，并卷入到
02:28
ranging from Yugoslavia to the Middle East
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从南斯拉夫到中东，
02:31
to Chechnya to Venezuela,
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到车臣，再到委内瑞拉的争端当中，
02:33
some of the most difficult conflicts on the face of the planet,
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它们几乎都是地球上最艰难的争端，
02:36
I've been asking myself that question.
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我也一直问自己这个问题。
02:38
And I think I've found, in some ways,
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而且我觉得，从某种角度来说，我找到了
02:40
what is the secret to peace.
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和平的秘密。
02:42
It's actually surprisingly simple.
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其实它是惊人的简单。
02:45
It's not easy, but it's simple.
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它不容易，但是简单。
02:48
It's not even new.
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它甚至不是刚刚出现的，
02:50
It may be one of our most ancient human heritages.
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很可能是我们最早的人类遗产之一。
02:52
The secret to peace is us.
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和平的秘密就是我们，
02:55
It's us who act
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是我们所有
02:57
as the surrounding community
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在争端周围
02:59
around any conflict,
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的每一个人，
03:01
who can play a constructive role.
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并且我们可以发挥建设性的作用。
03:03
Let me give you just a story, an example.
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让我给你们讲一个故事，一个例子。
03:07
About 20 years ago, I was in South Africa
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20年前，我在南非
03:09
working with the parties in that conflict,
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和参与冲突的政党一起工作，
03:11
and I had an extra month,
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我有一个月的额外时间，
03:13
so I spent some time living
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所以我花了一些时间
03:15
with several groups of San Bushmen.
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和一些桑布须曼人生活在一起。
03:17
I was curious about them and about the way in which they resolve conflict.
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我对他们以及他们解决争端的方法很感兴趣。
03:21
Because, after all, within living memory,
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因为，在人们的记忆中，
03:23
they were hunters and gatherers,
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他们是猎人和采集者，
03:25
living pretty much like our ancestors lived
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像我们祖先一样
03:27
for maybe 99 percent of the human story.
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人类历史中可能有99%是像他们这样生活着。
03:30
And all the men have these poison arrows that they use for hunting --
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所有男人都用带毒的箭来打猎——
03:33
absolutely fatal.
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绝对是致命的。
03:35
So how do they deal with their differences?
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那么他们怎么处理争端呢？
03:37
Well what I learned
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我所学到的是
03:39
is whenever tempers rise in those communities,
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在这些群体中，无论什么时候关系变得紧张起来，
03:42
someone goes and hides the poison arrows out in the bush,
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就会有人去把毒箭藏在丛林当中，
03:45
and then everyone sits around in a circle like this,
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然后所有人坐成一个圈，就像这样，
03:49
and they sit, and they talk, and they talk.
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他们坐着，讨论着，讨论着。
03:52
It may take two days, three days, four days,
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他们的讨论可能会用上两天，三天，四天
03:54
but they don't rest
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但是他们不会停下来休息
03:56
until they find a resolution,
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直到他们找到一个解决的办法，
03:58
or better yet, a reconciliation.
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或者更好的话，他们和解。
04:00
And if tempers are still too high,
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如果气氛还是很紧张的话，
04:02
then they send someone off to visit some relatives
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他们就会派其中一个人去探访一些亲戚
04:04
as a cooling-off period.
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作为一个冷却期。
04:06
Well that system
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我觉得上述系统
04:08
is, I think, probably the system that kept us alive to this point,
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很可能就是使我们活到现在的这个系统
04:11
given our human tendencies.
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它考虑到我们人类所拥有的天性。
04:13
That system, I call the "third side."
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这个系统，我将它称为“第三方”。
04:16
Because if you think about it,
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如果你想一想的话，
04:18
normally when we think of conflict, when we describe it,
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当我们思考一个冲突，当我们描述它的时候，
04:21
there's always two sides --
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总是有两方。
04:23
it's Arabs versus Israelis, labor versus management,
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这好比阿拉伯人与以色列人，劳动与管理，
04:25
husband versus wife, Republicans versus Democrats.
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丈夫与妻子，共和党人与民主党人，
04:28
But what we don't often see
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但是我们没有注意到的是
04:30
is that there's always a third side,
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总会有一个第三方。
04:32
and the third side of the conflict is us,
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而这个第三方，就是我们，
04:34
it's the surrounding community,
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是周围的团体，
04:36
it's the friends, the allies,
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朋友，联盟，
04:38
the family members, the neighbors.
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家庭成员，和邻居。
04:40
And we can play an incredibly constructive role.
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我们可以起到非常有建设性的作用。
04:43
Perhaps the most fundamental way
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也许第三方起到的最根本的作用
04:45
in which the third side can help
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是提醒其它两方
04:48
is to remind the parties of what's really at stake.
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什么才是最重要的。
04:51
For the sake of the kids, for the sake of the family,
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为孩子着想，为家庭着想，
04:53
for the sake of the community, for the sake of the future,
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为社区着想，为将来着想，
04:56
let's stop fighting for a moment and start talking.
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让我们暂时停止争斗，开始谈一谈。
04:59
Because, the thing is,
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因为当我们
05:01
when we're involved in conflict,
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陷入一场冲突当中的时候，
05:03
it's very easy to lose perspective.
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我们非常容易失去理智。
05:05
It's very easy to react.
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我们很容易有所反应。
05:07
Human beings -- we're reaction machines.
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人类就是反应机器。
05:10
And as the saying goes,
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常言道，
05:12
when angry, you will make the best speech
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当你生气时，你将作出最激昂的演讲
05:14
you will ever regret.
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为此你会后悔一辈子。
05:17
And so the third side reminds us of that.
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所以第三方提醒了我们这一点。
05:20
The third side helps us go to the balcony,
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第三方帮助我们来到阳台上，
05:22
which is a metaphor for a place of perspective,
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这是一个比喻，指的是一个审视思考的地方，
05:25
where we can keep our eyes on the prize.
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让我们把注意力集中在代价上面。
05:28
Let me tell you a little story from my own negotiating experience.
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让我给你们讲一个我自己谈判经历的故事。
05:31
Some years ago, I was involved as a facilitator
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几年前我作为调停者卷进了
05:34
in some very tough talks
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一些非常艰难的谈判对话
05:36
between the leaders of Russia
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在俄罗斯领导人
05:38
and the leaders of Chechnya.
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和车臣领导人之间的谈判。
05:40
There was a war going on, as you know.
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你知道，那个时候战争正在进行当中。
05:42
And we met in the Hague,
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我们在海牙
05:44
in the Peace Palace,
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和平宫里见面，
05:46
in the same room where the Yugoslav war crimes tribunal
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就在南斯拉夫战争罪行审判
05:49
was taking place.
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发生的同一间屋子里。
05:51
And the talks got off to a rather rocky start
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从一开始这对话就非常的艰难
05:53
when the vice president of Chechnya
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当车臣的副总统
05:55
began by pointing at the Russians and said,
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开始指着俄国人说，
05:58
"You should stay right here in your seats,
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“你应该好好地待在你们的位置上，
06:00
because you're going to be on trial for war crimes."
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因为你们将要接受战争罪行的审判。”
06:02
And then he went on, and then he turned to me and said,
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然后他转向我，继续说到，
06:04
"You're an American.
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“你是一个美国人，
06:06
Look at what you Americans are doing in Puerto Rico."
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看看你们美国人在波多黎各都做了些什么。”
06:09
And my mind started racing, "Puerto Rico? What do I know about Puerto Rico?"
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于是我开始想，“波多黎各？关于波多黎各我都知道什么？”
06:12
I started reacting,
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我开始进行反应，
06:14
but then I tried to remember to go to the balcony.
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但然后我就想回到阳台上去。
06:17
And then when he paused,
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当他停下来，
06:19
and everyone looked at me for a response,
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所有人都等待我回答的时候，
06:21
from a balcony perspective, I was able to thank him for his remarks
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我从阳台上看到了一些东西，我可以感谢他的提醒
06:24
and say, "I appreciate your criticism of my country,
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于是我说，“谢谢你对我祖国的批评，
06:27
and I take it as a sign that we're among friends
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我把它视作我们之间的友谊
06:29
and can speak candidly to one another.
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和我们可以坦诚相待的标志。
06:32
And what we're here to do is not to talk about Puerto Rico or the past.
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我们在这里不是来探讨波多黎各或者是过去的问题，
06:35
What we're here to do is to see if we can figure out a way
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而是看看是否可以找到一个解决方法
06:38
to stop the suffering and the bloodshed in Chechnya."
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来停止车臣的苦难以及流血事件。”
06:41
The conversation got back on track.
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对话又回到了正轨。
06:44
That's the role of the third side,
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这就是第三方的角色
06:46
is to help the parties to go to the balcony.
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帮助争执的两方回到阳台上。
06:48
Now let me take you for a moment
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现在让我带你见识一下
06:51
to what's widely regarded as the world's most difficult conflict,
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什么被广泛认为是世界上最艰难的冲突
06:53
or the most impossible conflict,
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最无法想象的冲突，
06:55
is the Middle East.
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这就是中东问题。
06:57
Question is: where's the third side there?
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问题是：第三方在哪里？
07:00
How could we possibly go to the balcony?
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我们怎么可能回到阳台上去？
07:02
Now I don't pretend to have an answer
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我不是假装我知道
07:04
to the Middle East conflict,
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中东问题的答案，
07:06
but I think I've got a first step,
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但是我觉得我迈出了第一步，
07:08
literally, a first step,
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名副其实的第一步，
07:10
something that any one of us could do as third-siders.
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我们每一个人都可以做一些第三方该做的事情。
07:13
Let me just ask you one question first.
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让我先问你一个问题。
07:15
How many of you
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你们中有多少人
07:17
in the last years
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在过去的几年里
07:19
have ever found yourself worrying about the Middle East
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觉得你关心过中东问题
07:22
and wondering what anyone could do?
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想过自己能为此做点什么？
07:24
Just out of curiosity, how many of you?
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只是好奇，有多少人?
07:26
Okay, so the great majority of us.
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好的，我们中很大一部分人。
07:29
And here, it's so far away.
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这里，离中东很远。
07:31
Why do we pay so much attention to this conflict?
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为什么我们要这样关注中东问题呢？
07:34
Is it the number of deaths?
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是因为死亡的人数吗？
07:36
There are a hundred times more people who die
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在非洲冲突中死的人数
07:38
in a conflict in Africa than in the Middle East.
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是中东问题的上百倍。
07:40
No, it's because of the story,
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不。而是因为这个故事，
07:42
because we feel personally involved
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我们觉得自己也卷入了其中，
07:44
in that story.
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卷入到这个故事当中。
07:46
Whether we're Christians, Muslims or Jews,
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无论我们是基督教徒，穆斯林教徒还是犹太教徒，
07:48
religious or non-religious,
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信仰宗教者或是非宗教信仰者，
07:50
we feel we have a personal stake in it.
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我们觉得自己也和它有一些联系。
07:52
Stories matter. As an anthropologist, I know that.
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这是故事在发挥着作用。作为一个人类学家，我知道这一点。
07:55
Stories are what we use to transmit knowledge.
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故事被我们用来传递知识。
07:58
They give meaning to our lives.
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它给予我们生命的意义。
08:00
That's what we tell here at TED, we tell stories.
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这就是我们在TED所做的，我们讲故事。
08:02
Stories are the key.
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故事是关键。
08:04
And so my question is,
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所以我的问题是，
08:07
yes, let's try and resolve the politics
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没错，让我们试试解决中东
08:09
there in the Middle East,
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的政治问题，
08:11
but let's also take a look at the story.
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但是，也让我们看看这个故事。
08:14
Let's try to get at the root of what it's all about.
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让我们试着了解下这到底是怎么回事。
08:16
Let's see if we can apply the third side to it.
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让我们看看怎样使用第三方的办法。
08:18
What would that mean? What is the story there?
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这到底意味着什么？故事到底是怎样的？
08:21
Now as anthropologists, we know
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我们作为人类学家，知道
08:23
that every culture has an origin story.
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每一个文化都有一个故事源头。
08:26
What's the origin story of the Middle East?
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那么中东的故事源头又是什么呢？
08:28
In a phrase, it's:
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如果用一句话来说，就是：
08:30
4,000 years ago, a man and his family
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4000年前，一个男人和他的家庭
08:33
walked across the Middle East,
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步行穿越了中东，
08:35
and the world has never been the same since.
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世界从此变得不再一样。
08:38
That man, of course,
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那个男人，当然
08:40
was Abraham.
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就是亚伯拉罕。
08:42
And what he stood for was unity,
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他主张团结，
08:44
the unity of the family.
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家庭的团结。
08:46
He's the father of us all.
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他是我们所有人的父亲。
08:48
But it's not just what he stood for, it's what his message was.
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但不仅仅是他主张什么，还有他所传递的信息也是这样。
08:50
His basic message was unity too,
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他所传递的基本信息也是团结在一起，
08:53
the interconnectedness of it all, the unity of it all,
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一切的相互联系，一切的团结。
08:56
and his basic value was respect,
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他的基本理念得到了尊重，
08:59
was kindness toward strangers.
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对陌生人友好。
09:01
That's what he's known for, his hospitality.
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这就是他为人所知的东西，他的友好。
09:04
So in that sense,
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所以在那个意义上，
09:06
he's the symbolic third side
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他就是中东问题
09:08
of the Middle East.
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第三方的象征。
09:10
He's the one who reminds us
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他就是那个提醒我们
09:13
that we're all part of a greater whole.
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我们都是伟大人类大家庭的一部分。
09:15
Now how would you --
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那么你会——
09:17
now think about that for a moment.
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那么再想一想
09:19
Today we face the scourge of terrorism.
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今天我们面临着恐怖主义的危害。
09:22
What is terrorism?
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什么是恐怖主义？
09:24
Terrorism is basically taking an innocent stranger
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基本来说，恐怖主义就是把一个完完全全的陌生人
09:27
and treating them as an enemy whom you kill
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当作一个你要杀的敌人
09:30
in order to create fear.
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以此来制造恐惧。
09:32
What's the opposite of terrorism?
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那么恐怖主义的反面是什么？
09:34
It's taking an innocent stranger
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把一个完完全全的陌生人
09:36
and treating them as a friend
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当作朋友
09:38
whom you welcome into your home
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并且邀请他去你家里
09:41
in order to sow and create understanding,
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以此来增进感情，互相理解，
09:43
or respect, or love.
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互相尊重和爱。
09:46
So what if then
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那么，如果
09:48
you took the story of Abraham,
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你看看亚伯拉罕这个第三方的故事
09:51
which is a third side story,
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会怎么样？
09:53
what if that could be --
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这也许会——
09:55
because Abraham stands for hospitality --
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因为亚伯拉罕代表着友好
09:58
what if that could be an antidote to terrorism?
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这也许会成为恐怖主义的良药呢？
10:01
What if that could be a vaccine
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也许这会成为对抗
10:03
against religious intolerance?
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宗教偏执的疫苗呢？
10:05
How would you bring that story to life?
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你会怎样用生命来演绎这个故事？
10:08
Now it's not enough just to tell a story --
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光讲故事是不够的——
10:10
that's powerful --
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这很有感染力——
10:12
but people need to experience the story.
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但人们需要的是去亲身感受这个故事。
10:14
They need to be able to live the story. How would you do that?
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他们需要去把故事演绎出来。你会怎么做？
10:17
And that was my thinking of how would you do that.
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我觉得你应该这样做。
10:20
And that's what comes to the first step here.
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因为这就是那第一步。
10:22
Because the simple way to do that
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因为简单的方法来做这件事
10:24
is you go for a walk.
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就是你去走一走。
10:27
You go for a walk in the footsteps of Abraham.
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跟随着亚伯拉罕的足迹走一走。
10:30
You retrace the footsteps of Abraham.
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你重新去绘制亚伯拉罕之路。
10:33
Because walking has a real power.
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因为行走具有真正的力量。
10:36
You know, as an anthropologist, walking is what made us human.
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作为人类学家，你们知道，行走造就了我们人类。
10:39
Walking, it's funny, when you walk,
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行走很有趣，在你行走的时候，
10:41
you walk side-by-side
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你们肩并着肩一起走
10:43
in the same common direction.
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朝着共同的方向。
10:46
Now if I were to come to you face-to-face
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如果我面朝你们走来
10:48
and come this close to you,
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而且和你离得这么近，
10:51
you would feel threatened.
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你会感受到威胁。
10:54
But if I walk shoulder-to-shoulder,
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但是如果我和你肩并肩一起走，
10:56
even touching shoulders,
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即使肩膀碰着，
10:58
it's no problem.
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也没有问题。
11:00
Who fights while they walk?
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谁会在走路的时候打起来呢？
11:02
That's why in negotiations, often, when things get tough,
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这就是为什么，当协商变得艰难的时候，
11:05
people go for walks in the woods.
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人们会去森林里走一走。
11:07
So the idea came to me
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所以我想到了这个点子
11:09
of what about inspiring
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去开发
11:11
a path, a route --
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一条小径，一条路
11:13
think the silk route, think the Appalachian trail --
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想想丝绸之路，想想阿巴拉契亚山径
11:16
that followed in the footsteps
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这些都追随着
11:18
of Abraham.
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亚伯拉罕的足迹。
11:20
People said, "That's crazy. You can't.
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人们会说，“这太疯狂了，你不能这样做。
11:22
You can't retrace the footsteps of Abraham. It's too insecure.
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你无法重新绘制亚伯拉罕的足迹。这太不安全了。
11:25
You've got to cross all these borders.
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你会经过所有这些边界。
11:27
It goes across 10 different countries in the Middle East,
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中东有十个不同的国家
11:29
because it unites them all."
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因为他们都连在一起。”
11:31
And so we studied the idea at Harvard.
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所以我们在哈佛做了研究。
11:33
We did our due diligence.
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我们做了该做的努力。
11:35
And then a few years ago, a group of us,
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然后几年前，我们一行几个人
11:37
about 25 of us from about 10 different countries,
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来自10个国家的25个人，
11:39
decided to see if we could retrace the footsteps of Abraham,
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决定看看是否可以重新绘制当年亚伯拉罕的足迹，
11:41
going from his initial birthplace in the city of Urfa
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从他的出生地乌尔法出发
11:44
in Southern Turkey, Northern Mesopotamia.
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在土耳其南部，美苏布达米亚北部。
11:47
And we then took a bus and took some walks
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然后我们乘坐了汽车，也步行了一段
11:50
and went to Harran,
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走到哈兰
11:52
where, in the Bible, he sets off on his journey.
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在圣经里，他出发的地方。
11:55
Then we crossed the border into Syria, went to Aleppo,
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然后我们跨域边境，来到叙利亚，前往阿勒颇，
11:57
which, turns out, is named after Abraham.
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它是个由亚伯拉罕命名的地方。
11:59
We went to Damascus,
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我们去了大马士革
12:01
which has a long history associated with Abraham.
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一个和亚伯拉罕有着很深渊源的地方。
12:03
We then came to Northern Jordan,
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然后我们去了北约旦，
12:06
to Jerusalem,
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耶路撒冷，
12:08
which is all about Abraham, to Bethlehem,
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那儿的一切都和亚伯拉罕有关，然后是伯利恒，
12:11
and finally to the place where he's buried
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最终来到他被埋葬的地方
12:13
in Hebron.
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希伯伦。
12:15
So effectively, we went from womb to tomb.
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所以，我们从他的出生地走到他的墓地。
12:17
We showed it could be done. It was an amazing journey.
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我们证明了这是可以完成的。这真的是一个惊人的旅程。
12:20
Let me ask you a question.
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让我问你一个问题。
12:22
How many of you have had the experience
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你们中有多少人经历过
12:24
of being in a strange neighborhood,
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在一个完全陌生的社区里，
12:26
or strange land,
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或是一个完全陌生的土地上，
12:28
and a total stranger, perfect stranger,
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然后一个完全陌生的人，完完全全的陌生人
12:31
comes up to you and shows you some kindness,
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走到你面前向你表示友好，
12:34
maybe invites you into their home, gives you a drink,
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也许是邀请你到他家里去，请你喝些东西，
12:36
gives you a coffee, gives you a meal?
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给你一杯咖啡，一顿饭？
12:38
How many of you have ever had that experience?
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你们有多少人有过这样的经历？
12:40
That's the essence
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这就是亚伯拉罕之路
12:42
of the Abraham path.
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的精华。
12:44
But that's what you discover, is you go into these villages in the Middle East
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这就是当你走到中东的那些小村子里你会发现的东西
12:46
where you expect hostility,
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你觉得会有敌意，
12:48
and you get the most amazing hospitality,
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但你得到的却是最友善的款待，
12:50
all associated with Abraham.
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所有这一切都和亚伯拉罕有关。
12:52
"In the name of father Abraham,
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“以亚伯拉罕的名义，
12:54
let me offer you some food."
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请允许我给您一些吃的东西。”
12:56
So what we discovered
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所以我们发现，
12:58
is that Abraham is not just a figure out of a book for those people.
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亚伯拉罕对他们来说，不仅仅是书中的一个人物，
13:01
He's alive; he's a living presence.
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他还活着，他依然在那里。
13:04
And to make a long story short,
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所以长话短说，
13:06
in the last couple of years now,
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在过去的几年里，
13:08
thousands of people
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上千人开始了
13:10
have begun to walk parts of the path of Abraham
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亚伯拉罕之路的旅程
13:12
in the Middle East,
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在中东，
13:14
enjoying the hospitality of the people there.
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享受着那里人们的友好。
13:17
They've begun to walk
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他们已经在
13:19
in Israel and Palestine,
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以色列，巴勒斯坦开始行走，
13:21
in Jordan, in Turkey, in Syria.
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在约旦，土耳其，叙利亚开始行走，
13:23
It's an amazing experience.
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这是很令人难以置信的经历。
13:25
Men, women, young people, old people --
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男人，女人，年轻人，老人——
13:27
more women than men, actually, interestingly.
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有趣的是，事实上女人要比男人多。
13:30
For those who can't walk,
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那些无法行走的人，
13:32
who are unable to get there right now,
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现在那些无法到达那里的人
13:34
people started to organize walks
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人们开始规划他们的行走
13:36
in cities, in their own communities.
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在城市里，在他们自己的社区里。
13:38
In Cincinnati, for instance, that organized a walk
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比如在辛辛那提，组织了一个
13:40
from a church to a mosque to a synagogue
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从教堂到清真寺再到犹太教堂的行走
13:42
and all had an Abrahamic meal together.
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然后大家一起享用了亚伯拉罕式的餐点。
13:44
It was Abraham Path Day.
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这就是亚伯拉罕之路日。
13:46
In Sao Paulo, Brazil, it's become an annual event
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在巴西圣保罗，这已成为了一年一度的活动
13:48
for thousands of people to run
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上千人一起奔跑
13:50
in a virtual Abraham Path Run,
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在虚拟的亚伯拉罕之路上，
13:52
uniting the different communities.
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并集结了不同的社区来奔跑。
13:54
The media love it; they really adore it.
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媒体爱死了这件事，他们真的很爱这个活动。
13:57
They lavish attention on it
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他们花了很大的精力在这上面
13:59
because it's visual,
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因为这是看得到的，
14:01
and it spreads the idea,
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而且还宣传了这个观念
14:03
this idea of Abrahamic hospitality
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对于陌生人
14:05
of kindness towards strangers.
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要表现出亚伯拉罕式的友好。
14:07
And just a couple weeks ago,
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就在几周前，
14:09
there was an NPR story on it.
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全国公共广播电台NPR报道了一个关于这件事的故事。
14:11
Last month,
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上个月，
14:13
there was a piece in the Guardian,
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在卫报上有这么一个消息，
14:15
in the Manchester Guardian, about it --
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在曼彻斯特卫报上
14:18
two whole pages.
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差不多有两个整版报道此事。
14:21
And they quoted a villager
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他们引用了一个村子里的人的话
14:24
who said, "This walk connects us to the world."
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说：“这个行走将我们与世界连在了一起。”
14:27
He said it was like a light that went on in our lives.
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他说，这就像是一盏明灯把我们生命点亮。
14:30
It brought us hope.
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它给我们带来了希望。
14:32
And so that's what it's about.
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这就是它的意义所在。
14:34
But it's not just about psychology;
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这不仅仅是指在心理学的层面上，
14:37
it's about economics,
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而且还是在经济学的层面上，
14:39
because as people walk they spend money.
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因为当人们行走的时候，他们要有花销。
14:41
And this woman right here, Um Ahmad,
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眼前的这位妇人，乌姆·阿哈默德Um Ahmad
14:44
is a woman who lives on a path in Northern Jordan.
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是一个生活在亚伯拉罕之路北约旦路上的一位女性。
14:47
She's desperately poor.
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她相当地贫困。
14:49
She's partially blind, her husband can't work,
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她有点失明，而且她的丈夫无法工作，
14:52
she's got seven kids.
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她有7个孩子。
14:55
But what she can do is cook,
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但是她可以烹饪。
14:57
and so she's begun to cook for some groups of walkers
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于是她开始给行走的人做吃的东西
15:00
who come through the village and have a meal in her home.
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经过这个村庄的步行者会在她家里吃上一顿。
15:03
They sit on the floor.
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他们坐在地板上。
15:05
She doesn't even have a tablecloth.
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她甚至没有桌布。
15:07
She makes the most delicious food
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她用周围乡下新鲜的植物
15:09
that's fresh from the herbs in the surrounding countryside.
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做了最好吃的食物。
15:12
And so more and more walkers have come,
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于是越来越多的行人来到了这里。
15:14
and lately she's begun to earn an income
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然后她就开始有了一些收入
15:16
to support her family.
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来补贴家用。
15:18
And so she told our team there, she said,
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她告诉我们在那里的团队，她说
15:21
"You have made me visible
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“在这个村庄，你们让别人看得起我了，
15:24
in a village where people were once ashamed
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而过去人们觉得看到我
15:26
to look at me."
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是一件耻辱的事。”
15:28
That's the potential of the Abraham path.
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这就是亚伯拉罕之路的力量。
15:31
There are literally hundreds of those kinds of communities
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事实上已有上百个这样的团体
15:33
across the Middle East, across the path.
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穿越了中东，踏上了亚伯拉罕之路。
15:37
The potential is basically to change the game.
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其潜力本质上改变了这个游戏。
15:40
And to change the game, you have to change the frame,
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要改变这个游戏，需要改变其框架
15:42
the way we see things --
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我们看事情的角度——
15:44
to change the frame
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要改变框架
15:46
from hostility to hospitality,
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从敌意到友好
15:49
from terrorism to tourism.
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从恐怖主义到旅行。
15:52
And in that sense, the Abraham path
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从这个角度上来讲，亚伯拉罕之路
15:54
is a game-changer.
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是一个游戏变革者。
15:56
Let me just show you one thing.
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让我给你们展示一样东西，
15:58
I have a little acorn here
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我这里有一个小橡果
16:00
that I picked up while I was walking on the path
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是我今年早些时候在亚伯拉罕之路上
16:02
earlier this year.
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捡到的。
16:04
Now the acorn is associated with the oak tree, of course --
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当然这个橡果是和橡树相联系的——
16:06
grows into an oak tree,
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长成一棵橡树，
16:08
which is associated with Abraham.
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和亚伯拉罕有关。
16:10
The path right now is like an acorn;
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这条路现在就像这个橡果；
16:12
it's still in its early phase.
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它还在刚开始的阶段。
16:14
What would the oak tree look like?
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橡树长得什么样？
16:16
Well I think back to my childhood,
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我想起了我的童年，
16:18
a good part of which I spent, after being born here in Chicago,
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在我在芝加哥出生后的大部分时光，
16:20
I spent in Europe.
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我都生活在欧洲。
16:22
If you had been
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如果你曾呆在
16:24
in the ruins of, say, London
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废墟当中，比如说1945年的伦敦
16:26
in 1945, or Berlin,
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或者是柏林，
16:29
and you had said,
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然后你说
16:31
"Sixty years from now,
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“从现在起60年后，
16:33
this is going to be the most peaceful, prosperous part of the planet,"
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这儿将会成为世界上最和平，最富足的地方。”
16:35
people would have thought
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人们会想
16:37
you were certifiably insane.
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你肯定是疯了。
16:39
But they did it thanks to a common identity -- Europe --
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但这得感谢他们的共同身份——欧盟，还有共同的经济
16:43
and a common economy.
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他们做到了这一点。
16:45
So my question is, if it can be done in Europe,
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所以我的问题是，如果这能在欧洲做到，
16:48
why not in the Middle East?
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那为什么在中东做不到呢？
16:50
Why not, thanks to a common identity,
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为什么不能通过一种共同身份——
16:52
which is the story of Abraham,
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亚伯拉罕的故事
16:54
and thanks to a common economy
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和很大一部分基于旅游业的共同经济
16:56
that would be based in good part on tourism?
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来达成一致呢？
17:00
So let me conclude then
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那么让我总结一下，
17:02
by saying that in the last 35 years,
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就我过去35年
17:05
as I've worked
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在世界上处理过的
17:07
in some of the most dangerous, difficult and intractable
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最危险，最艰难，最棘手
17:09
conflicts around the planet,
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的这些冲突工作来说，
17:11
I have yet to see one conflict
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我还没有看到一个
17:14
that I felt could not be transformed.
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让我感觉无法改变的冲突。
17:17
It's not easy, of course,
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当然，这并不容易，
17:19
but it's possible.
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但这是可能的。
17:21
It was done in South Africa.
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在南非做到了，
17:23
It was done in Northern Ireland.
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在北爱尔兰做到了，
17:25
It could be done anywhere.
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在任何地方我们都可以做到。
17:27
It simply depends on us.
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这仅仅取决于我们，
17:29
It depends on us taking the third side.
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取决于我们扮演的第三方角色。
17:32
So let me invite you
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所以让我来邀请你
17:34
to consider taking the third side,
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考虑成为这第三方，
17:36
even as a very small step.
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即使是迈出非常小的一步。
17:38
We're about to take a break in a moment.
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我们很快也会有所作为。
17:40
Just go up to someone
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走向那些
17:42
who's from a different culture, a different country,
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来自不同文化，不同国家，
17:45
a different ethnicity, some difference,
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不同种族，各种不同的人们，
17:47
and engage them in a conversation; listen to them.
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和他们进行交谈，听听他们的想法。
17:50
That's a third side act.
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这就是第三方的行动。
17:52
That's walking Abraham's path.
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这样就走上了亚伯拉罕之路。
17:54
After a TEDTalk,
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在TED演说后，
17:56
why not a TEDWalk?
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为什么不来个TED行走呢？
17:58
So let me just leave you
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那么，让我留给你们
18:00
with three things.
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三样东西。
18:02
One is, the secret to peace
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第一，和平的秘密
18:05
is the third side.
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在于第三方。
18:08
The third side is us.
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第三方就是我们。
18:10
Each of us,
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我们中的每一位
18:12
with a single step,
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即使是迈出一小步，
18:14
can take the world, can bring the world
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它也可以使这个世界
18:17
a step closer to peace.
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向和平迈进一步。
18:20
There's an old African proverb that goes:
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有个古老非洲的成语这样说：
18:22
"When spider webs unite,
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“当蜘蛛网连接在一起，
18:24
they can halt even the lion."
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它们甚至可以使一只狮子停下来。”
18:27
If we're able to unite
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如果我们可以连接
18:29
our third-side webs of peace,
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我们第三方之间的和平网络，
18:31
we can even halt the lion of war.
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我们甚至可以使战争这头狮子停下来。
18:34
Thank you very much.
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非常感谢
18:36
(Applause)
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(掌声)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
William Ury - MediatorWilliam Ury is a mediator, writer and speaker, working with conflicts ranging from family feuds to boardroom battles to ethnic wars. He's the author of "Getting to Yes."
Why you should listen
William L. Ury co-founded Harvard's Program on Negotiation and is currently a Senior Fellow of the Harvard Negotiation Project. He is the author of The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No & Still Get to Yes, and co-author (with Roger Fisher) of Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In, translated into 30+ languages. He is also author of the award-winning Getting Past No: Negotiating with Difficult People and Getting To Peace (released in paperback under the title The Third Side).
Over the last 30 years, Ury has served as a negotiation adviser and mediator in conflicts ranging from corporate mergers to wildcat strikes in a Kentucky coal mine to ethnic wars in the Middle East, the Balkans, and the former Soviet Union. With former president Jimmy Carter, he co- founded the International Negotiation Network, a non-governmental body seeking to end civil wars around the world. During the 1980s, he helped the US and Soviet governments create nuclear crisis centers designed to avert an accidental nuclear war. In that capacity, he served as a consultant to the Crisis Management Center at the White House. More recently, Ury has served as a third party in helping to end a civil war in Aceh, Indonesia, and helping to prevent one in Venezuela.
Ury has taught negotiation to tens of thousands of corporate executives, labor leaders, diplomats and military officers around the world. He helps organizations try to reach mutually profitable agreements with customers, suppliers, unions, and joint-venture partners.
William Ury | Speaker | TED.com