TEDxKids@Ambleside
Kevin Breel: Confessions of a depressed comic
Kevin Breel: 一个抑郁喜剧演员的自白
Filmed:
Readability: 2.7
4,475,224 views
凯文布莱尔并不像一个抑郁的小孩：他是篮球队队长，参加各种派对，幽默并且自信。但它讲述的是有一个晚上他认识到 -- 拯救他自 己的人生 -- 他需要的只是说四个字。
Kevin Breel - Comedian, activist
Writer, comic and mental health activist Kevin Breel speaks up about depression. Full bio
Writer, comic and mental health activist Kevin Breel speaks up about depression. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
For a long time in my life,
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在我生命中非常长的一段时间内，
00:15
I felt like I'd been living two different lives.
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我感觉我在过着两种不同的人生。
00:19
There's the life that everyone sees,
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一个是每个人都看见的人生，
00:23
and then there's the life that only I see.
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另一个是只有我能看见的人生。
00:26
And in the life that everyone sees,
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在每个人都能看见的人生里，
00:29
who I am is a friend,
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我的角色是一个朋友、
00:31
a son, a brother,
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儿子、兄弟、
00:34
a stand-up comedian and a teenager.
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喜剧演员和一名青少年。
00:37
That's the life everyone sees.
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这是每个人都看到的人生。
00:39
If you were to ask my friends and family to describe me,
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如果你要问我的朋友和家人来形容我，
00:41
that's what they would tell you.
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这是他们会告诉你的。
00:43
And that's a huge part of me. That is who I am.
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这是很大一部分的我
这是我在这社会上的角色
这是我在这社会上的角色
00:45
And if you were to ask me to describe myself,
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如果你要我自己来形容我，
00:47
I'd probably say some of those same things.
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我可能会说一些与上相同的东西。
00:50
And I wouldn't be lying,
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我不会说谎，
00:54
but I wouldn't totally be telling you the truth, either,
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但也不会完全会告诉你真相，
00:58
because the truth is,
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因为事实是，
00:59
that's just the life everyone else sees.
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这就是其他人看到的人生。
01:02
In the life that only I see, who I am,
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另外一个人生只有我自己能看到
我是谁
我是谁
01:06
who I really am,
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我其实是
01:08
is someone who struggles intensely with depression.
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一个与抑郁症激烈斗争的人。
01:12
I have for the last six years of my life,
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在生命中的近六年来
我与抑郁症斗争
我与抑郁症斗争
01:15
and I continue to every day.
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也会在接下来的每一天内继续斗争。
01:20
Now, for someone who has never experienced depression
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对于从未经历过抑郁的人
01:23
or doesn't really know what that means,
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或不太知道这是什么意思的人，
01:24
that might surprise them to hear,
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他们听到这些也许会感到诧异，
01:25
because there's this pretty popular misconception
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因为在社会上有普遍的误解认为说
01:27
that depression is just being sad
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抑郁症只是在当你生命中出了什么差错的时候
01:30
when something in your life goes wrong,
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会难过，
01:32
when you break up with your girlfriend,
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当你和你的女朋友分手
01:34
when you lose a loved one,
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当你失去心爱的人，
01:35
when you don't get the job you wanted.
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当你找不到理想的工作的时候。
01:37
But that's sadness. That's a natural thing.
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但这只是悲伤。这是一件很自然的事情。
01:39
That's a natural human emotion.
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这是自然的人类情感。
01:41
Real depression isn't being sad
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真正的抑郁不是
01:45
when something in your life goes wrong.
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当你生命中出了差错的时候悲伤。
01:48
Real depression is being sad
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真正的抑郁是
01:50
when everything in your life is going right.
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当你生活中的一切都好的时候悲伤。
01:53
That's real depression, and that's what I suffer from.
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那才是真正的抑郁，而那才是我所遭受的。
01:55
And to be totally honest,
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坦诚说，
01:58
that's hard for me to stand up here and say.
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出现在这里并且把它公之于众是一件很难的事。
02:00
It's hard for me to talk about,
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我很难去把它诉说，
02:02
and it seems to be hard for everyone to talk about,
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这似乎也很难让每个人去谈这一点，
02:05
so much so that no one's talking about it.
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以至于没有人去谈它。
02:07
And no one's talking about depression, but we need to be,
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没有人会去谈抑郁，
但我们需要去谈论它
但我们需要去谈论它
02:10
because right now it's a massive problem.
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因为现在它一个很大的问题。
02:13
It's a massive problem.
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这是一个巨大的问题。
02:15
But we don't see it on social media, right?
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但我们并没有看到它出现在媒体上，对吗？
02:17
We don't see it on Facebook. We don't see it on Twitter.
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我们没有在 Facebook 上看到它
我们也没有在 Twitter 上看到它。
我们也没有在 Twitter 上看到它。
02:19
We don't see it on the news, because it's not happy,
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我们也没有在新闻上看到它，因为它不是快乐的，
02:21
it's not fun, it's not light.
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是不有趣的，也不是光明的。
02:22
And so because we don't see it, we don't see the severity of it.
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于是，正因为我们看不到它，
所以我们没有意识到它的严重性。
所以我们没有意识到它的严重性。
02:26
But the severity of it and the seriousness of it is this:
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然而它的确很严重：
02:30
every 30 seconds,
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每隔 30 秒钟，
02:31
every 30 seconds, somewhere,
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每隔 30 秒，在某个地方，
02:34
someone in the world takes their own life
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在这个世界上的某个人就在
02:36
because of depression,
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因为抑郁而自杀，
02:37
and it might be two blocks away, it might be two countries away,
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它有可能是在两个街区之外，
它也可能在两个国家之外，
它也可能在两个国家之外，
02:39
it might be two continents away, but it's happening,
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它可能是两个大洲之外，
但它正在发生，
但它正在发生，
02:41
and it's happening every single day.
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而且每一天都在发生着。
02:43
And we have a tendency, as a society,
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作为一个社会
我们有一种趋势，
我们有一种趋势，
02:46
to look at that and go, "So what?"
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看着这种情况会说，"那又怎样?"
02:51
So what? We look at that, and we go, "That's your problem.
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那又怎样？我们知道这个情况然后说，
"这是你的问题。
"这是你的问题。
02:56
That's their problem."
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这是他们的问题。”
02:58
We say we're sad and we say we're sorry,
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我们说我们很难过，我们说我们感到很抱歉，
03:00
but we also say, "So what?"
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但我们还说，"那又怎样?"
03:02
Well, two years ago it was my problem,
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好吧，两年前，它是我的问题，
03:06
because I sat on the edge of my bed
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因为我坐在我的床边
03:10
where I'd sat a million times before
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曾坐过千百万次的床边
03:14
and I was suicidal.
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想着要自杀。
03:17
I was suicidal, and if you were to look at my life on the surface,
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我有自杀倾向，
但如果你从表面上看我的生活，
但如果你从表面上看我的生活，
03:21
you wouldn't see a kid who was suicidal.
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你不会看到一个自杀倾向的孩子。
03:23
You'd see a kid who was the captain of his basketball team,
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你会看到一个篮球队队长、
03:25
the drama and theater student of the year,
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今年戏剧班的学生、
03:27
the English student of the year,
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今年学习英语的学生、
03:28
someone who was consistently on the honor roll
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一个经常出现在荣誉榜上的
03:30
and consistently at every party.
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和一个经常出现在任何派对上的人。
03:33
So you would say I wasn't depressed, you would say
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所以你会说我不是抑郁，你会说
03:35
I wasn't suicidal, but you would be wrong.
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我不是自杀，但你就错了。
03:38
You would be wrong. So I sat there that night
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你就错了。所以我那天晚上坐在床上
03:39
beside a bottle of pills with a pen and paper in my hand
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旁边是一瓶药，我手上拿着纸笔
03:43
and I thought about taking my own life
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我想着要终结自己的生命
03:45
and I came this close to doing it.
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我差一点点就做了
03:49
I came this close to doing it.
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我差点就这样做了。
03:50
And I didn't, so that makes me one of the lucky ones,
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然而我没有
所以我成为了幸运的一份子，
所以我成为了幸运的一份子，
03:53
one of the people who gets to step out on the ledge
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一个人从边缘中走下来的人
03:56
and look down but not jump,
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我从我的人生大楼向下看但并没有跳下去，
03:58
one of the lucky ones who survives.
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我是幸运活下来的人之一。
04:00
Well, I survived, and that just leaves me with my story,
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嗯，我活下来了，那让我跟我的故事并存，
04:02
and my story is this:
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我的故事是：
04:05
In four simple words, I suffer from depression.
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简单的四个字，患抑郁症。
04:08
I suffer from depression,
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我患上抑郁症，
04:10
and for a long time, I think,
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在很长时间，我想，
04:18
I was living two totally different lives,
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我在活着两个完全不同的人生，
04:20
where one person was always afraid of the other.
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一个总是害怕别人的人。
04:22
I was afraid that people would see me for who I really was,
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我害怕人们会看到我真实的样子，
04:24
that I wasn't the perfect, popular kid in high school everyone thought I was,
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并不是一个每个人都认为我是的样子：
高中的风光小孩，我其实并不完美
高中的风光小孩，我其实并不完美
04:28
that beneath my smile, there was struggle,
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在我的微笑下面是斗争，
04:30
and beneath my light, there was dark,
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在我的光明下面是黑暗，
04:32
and beneath my big personality just hid even bigger pain.
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在我的人格下藏着更深层次的痛苦。
04:36
See, some people might fear girls not liking them back.
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比如有些人害怕喜欢的女生不喜欢他。
04:39
Some people might fear sharks. Some people might fear death.
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有些人可能害怕鲨鱼。
有些人可能会害怕死亡。
有些人可能会害怕死亡。
04:41
But for me, for a large part of my life, I feared myself.
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但对我来说，
我生命中的很大一部分是害怕我自己。
我生命中的很大一部分是害怕我自己。
04:46
I feared my truth, I feared my honesty, I feared my vulnerability,
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我害怕真相，我害怕诚实，我害怕脆弱，
04:48
and that fear made me feel
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这种恐惧让我感觉到
04:51
like I was forced into a corner,
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就像我被被逼迫到一个角落里，
04:53
like I was forced into a corner and there was only one way out,
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就像我被逼到角落里，只有一个出路，
04:56
and so I thought about that way every single day.
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于是，我每一天都这样想。
05:00
I thought about it every single day,
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我每一天都这样想，
05:01
and if I'm being totally honest, standing here
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如果我完全诚实的站在这里
05:03
I've thought about it again since, because that's the sickness,
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我告诉你我有再次想过，因为这就是疾病，
05:06
that's the struggle, that's depression,
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这就是斗争，那是抑郁，
05:08
and depression isn't chicken pox.
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抑郁症不是水痘。
05:09
You don't beat it once and it's gone forever.
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你不是抗争一次过，它就永远离开了。
05:11
It's something you live with. It's something you live in.
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它跟你相依为命。它是你生命里的东西。
05:14
It's the roommate you can't kick out. It's the voice you can't ignore.
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它是你不能踢出去的室友。它是你不能忽视的杂音。
05:18
It's the feelings you can't seem to escape,
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它是你不能逃脱的情感，
05:20
the scariest part is that after a while,
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最可怕的是过了一段时间，
05:25
you become numb to it. It becomes normal for you,
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你变得麻木。它对于你来说已经很正常了，
05:28
and what you really fear the most
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你真正最害怕的
05:30
isn't the suffering inside of you.
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不是你内心的痛苦。
05:33
It's the stigma inside of others,
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这是在别人眼里的耻辱
05:34
it's the shame, it's the embarrassment,
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它是耻辱，是尴尬，
05:37
it's the disapproving look on a friend's face,
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它是朋友脸上不赞成的表情，
05:39
it's the whispers in the hallway that you're weak,
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它是走廊的低语，
轻声说你太懦弱，
轻声说你太懦弱，
05:43
it's the comments that you're crazy.
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它是你疯了的评语。
05:44
That's what keeps you from getting help.
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这就是让你得不到帮助的原因。
05:46
That's what makes you hold it in and hide it.
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这就是让你它控制它和隐藏它的原因。
05:49
It's the stigma. So you hold it in and you hide it,
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因为这是一种耻辱。
所以你控制它和隐藏它，
所以你控制它和隐藏它，
05:51
and you hold it in and you hide it,
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你控制它个隐藏它，
05:53
and even though it's keeping you in bed every day
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即使它让你每一天待在床上
05:55
and it's making your life feel empty no matter how much you try and fill it,
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它让你的人生感到空虚无论你怎样努力地去填补它，
05:58
you hide it, because the stigma in our society
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你隐藏它，因为在我们的社会中
06:00
around depression is very real.
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有关抑郁症的耻辱感是非常真实的。
06:03
It's very real, and if you think that it isn't, ask yourself this:
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它很真实，如果你认为它不是，问问你自己：
06:06
Would you rather make your next Facebook status
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你想让你的下一个 Facebook 状态是
06:08
say you're having a tough time getting out of bed
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说你很难下床
06:10
because you hurt your back
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因为你背有伤
06:12
or you're having a tough time getting out of bed every morning
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还是你很难下床
06:14
because you're depressed?
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是因为你抑郁？
06:16
That's the stigma, because unfortunately,
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这是耻辱，因为不幸的是，
06:18
we live in a world where if you break your arm,
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我们生活在一个如果你的胳膊伤了，
06:21
everyone runs over to sign your cast,
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大家都跑过去要在你的石膏上签名，
06:23
but if you tell people you're depressed, everyone runs the other way.
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但如果你告诉人们你抑郁，
每个人跑向了另外一边。
每个人跑向了另外一边。
06:26
That's the stigma.
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而这就是耻辱。
06:29
We are so, so, so accepting of any body part breaking down
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我们是如此接受任何身体部位受损
06:34
other than our brains. And that's ignorance.
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除了我们的大脑。
这是一种无知。
这是一种无知。
06:37
That's pure ignorance, and that ignorance has created
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纯粹的无知，制造这种无知的是
06:39
a world that doesn't understand depression,
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一个不了解抑郁症的世界
06:40
that doesn't understand mental health.
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不懂心理健康的世界。
06:43
And that's ironic to me, because depression
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对于我来说这很讽刺，
因为抑郁
因为抑郁
06:45
is one of the best documented problems we have in the world,
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是我们这世界上最有迹可循的问题之一
06:47
yet it's one of the least discussed.
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然而它是最少被讨论的话题之一。
06:49
We just push it aside and put it in a corner
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我们只是把它放到一边，
放到角落里
放到角落里
06:52
and pretend it's not there and hope it'll fix itself.
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假装它不存在，并希望它就好了。
06:55
Well, it won't. It hasn't, and it's not going to,
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它不会、它没有、也不即将要，
06:59
because that's wishful thinking,
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因为那只是一厢情愿，
07:01
and wishful thinking isn't a game plan, it's procrastination,
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一厢情愿不是一个游戏计划，它是拖沓，
07:03
and we can't procrastinate on something this important.
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而我们不能拖延这么重要的事情。
07:08
The first step in solving any problem
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解决任何问题的第一步
07:12
is recognizing there is one.
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是认识到这一问题的存在。
07:13
Well, we haven't done that, so we can't really expect
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我们还没能做到，所以我们不能期待
07:16
to find an answer when we're still afraid of the question.
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当我们还在害怕问题的时候找到答案。
07:19
And I don't know what the solution is.
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我不知道该解决方案是什么。
07:23
I wish I did, but I don't -- but I think,
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我希望我知道，但我不知道
但我认为，
但我认为，
07:25
I think it has to start here.
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我认为它已经在这里开始。
07:27
It has to start with me, it has to start with you,
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它和我一同开始，
它与你一同开始，
它与你一同开始，
07:30
it has to start with the people who are suffering,
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它与遭受过的人们一同开始，
07:33
the ones who are hidden in the shadows.
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那些被隐藏在阴影中的人们。
07:35
We need to speak up and shatter the silence.
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我们需要说出来打破沉默。
07:37
We need to be the ones who are brave for what we believe in,
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我们需要成为那些为我们相信的事情而勇敢的人，
07:39
because if there's one thing that I've come to realize,
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因为如果有一件事是我认识到的，那就是，
07:42
if there's one thing that I see as the biggest problem,
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如果有一件事是我知道是最要紧的问题，
07:46
it's not in building a world
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它并不是创造一个
07:49
where we eliminate the ignorance of others.
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我们消除他人的无知的世界。
07:52
It's in building a world where we teach the acceptance of ourselves,
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而是创造一个我们接受自己的世界，
07:56
where we're okay with who we are,
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接受我们真实的自己，
07:57
because when we get honest,
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因为当我们诚实面对的时候，
07:58
we see that we all struggle and we all suffer.
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我们会看到我们所有的斗争和所有的苦难。
08:01
Whether it's with this, whether it's with something else,
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无论是抑郁症，还是别的事情，
08:03
we all know what it is to hurt.
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我们都知道什么是痛苦的。
08:06
We all know what it is to have pain in our heart,
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我们都知道我们的心中有苦
08:08
and we all know how important it is to heal.
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我们也知道去疗伤有多重要。
08:11
But right now, depression is society's deep cut
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但是现在，抑郁症是社会的伤口
08:14
that we're content to put a Band-Aid over and pretend it's not there.
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我们习惯于把创口贴贴上就假装它不存在。
08:17
Well, it is there. It is there, and you know what? It's okay.
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而它是存在的。而且你知道么？它并没什么。
08:21
Depression is okay. If you're going through it, know that you're okay.
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抑郁症没什么。因为如果你克服了它，你就知道你没事。
08:25
And know that you're sick, you're not weak,
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知道虽然你病了，但你并不脆弱，
08:27
and it's an issue, not an identity,
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它是一个问题，不是一个身份标签，
08:29
because when you get past the fear and the ridicule
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因为当你经历过你过去的恐惧和嘲笑
08:32
and the judgment and the stigma of others,
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别人对你的看法和耻辱，
08:34
you can see depression for what it really is,
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你就可以看到抑郁症真实的身份，
08:37
and that's just a part of life,
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它只是生活的一部分，
08:39
just a part of life, and as much as I hate,
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只是生活的一部分，虽然我讨厌，
08:43
as much as I hate some of the places,
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就像我讨厌的一些地方，
08:45
some of the parts of my life depression has dragged me down to,
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我生活的某一部分已经被抑郁症拖垮，
08:49
in a lot of ways I'm grateful for it.
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但在很多方面上我是非常感激的。
08:51
Because yeah, it's put me in the valleys,
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因为它是让我经历低谷，
08:53
but only to show me there's peaks,
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但只是为了向我证明有高峰，
08:54
and yeah it's dragged me through the dark
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是的，它将我拉进了黑暗，
08:56
but only to remind me there is light.
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但只是为了提醒我有光。
08:58
My pain, more than anything in 19 years on this planet,
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我的痛苦，比我在生活的十九年的任何事都能
09:02
has given me perspective, and my hurt,
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给我看待事情的角度，而我的伤口
09:04
my hurt has forced me to have hope,
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让我有了希望
09:07
have hope and to have faith, faith in myself,
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有希望，有信念，对我自己的信念
09:10
faith in others, faith that it can get better,
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对其他人的新年，可以更好的信念，
09:12
that we can change this, that we can speak up
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我们可以改变这一点，我们可以把它说出来
09:14
and speak out and fight back against ignorance,
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说出来与对抗无知，
09:17
fight back against intolerance,
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反击不容忍，
09:19
and more than anything,
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还有一件比什么都重要的是，那就是，
09:21
learn to love ourselves,
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学会爱自己，
09:24
learn to accept ourselves for who we are,
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学会接受我们自己，
09:26
the people we are, not the people the world wants us to be.
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我们不是别人想要我们成为的那个人。
09:30
Because the world I believe in is one
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因为我相信在这个世界上
09:32
where embracing your light doesn't mean ignoring your dark.
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拥抱光明并不意味着忽略黑暗。
09:36
The world I believe in is one where we're measured
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我相信的世界是一个我们被评判的标准是
09:38
by our ability to overcome adversities, not avoid them.
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我们克服逆境的能力，不是逃避它们。
09:43
The world I believe in is one where I can look someone in the eye
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我相信的世界是一个我可以看着某一个人的眼睛
09:47
and say, "I'm going through hell,"
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并说，"我正在过着地狱般的生活，"
09:49
and they can look back at me and go, "Me too," and that's okay,
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他们可以也看着我跟我说，“我也是”
这是可以接受的，
这是可以接受的，
09:52
and it's okay because depression is okay. We're people.
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这没关系因为抑郁没什么。我们都是人。
09:56
We're people, and we struggle and we suffer
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我们是人，我们斗争、我们遭受痛苦
09:59
and we bleed and we cry, and if you think that true strength
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我们流血、我们哭，
如果你认为真正的力量
如果你认为真正的力量
10:01
means never showing any weakness, then I'm here
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代表从未有任何弱点，那么我在这里
10:03
to tell you you're wrong.
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要告诉你你错了。
10:07
You're wrong, because it's the opposite.
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你错了，因为它是相反的。
10:11
We're people, and we have problems.
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我们是人，我们会有问题。
10:13
We're not perfect, and that's okay.
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我们不是完美的，而这没什么。
10:15
So we need to stop the ignorance,
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所以我们需要停止无知，
10:17
stop the intolerance, stop the stigma,
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停止不容忍，停止蔑视，
10:20
and stop the silence, and we need to take away the taboos,
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和停止沉默，
我们需要打破禁忌，
我们需要打破禁忌，
10:25
take a look at the truth, and start talking,
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真视真相，并开始说话，
10:29
because the only way we're going to beat a problem
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因为唯一处理
10:34
that people are battling alone
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人们单独作战的问题
10:37
is by standing strong together,
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就是坚强的站在一起，
10:41
by standing strong together.
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坚强的站在一起。
10:45
And I believe that we can.
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我相信我们可以。
10:48
I believe that we can. Thank you guys so much.
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我相信我们可以。非常感谢。
10:50
This is a dream come true. Thank you. (Applause)
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我的梦想成真了。谢谢。（掌声）
10:52
Thank you. (Applause)
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谢谢。（掌声）
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Kevin Breel - Comedian, activistWriter, comic and mental health activist Kevin Breel speaks up about depression.
Why you should listen
As a teenager, Kevin Breel almost took his own life. His story, so powerfully told in his viral TEDxYouth Talk, gives voice to an often silent struggle and offers a message of hope.
As Jack Knox writes in the Times Colonist :
His story, abbreviated, is this: He grew up in Cadboro Bay, a popular kid, fun at parties, English and drama awards, always on the honour roll, captain of the Lambrick Park basketball team when it was ranked No. 1 in the province. Under it all was the other him, the kid who plunged into depression at age 13 when his best friend died in a car crash.
Breel now speaks out about his own depression, with a mission of helping kids his age realize they're not alone.
Kevin Breel | Speaker | TED.com