TED2008
Jill Bolte Taylor: My stroke of insight
吉尔伯特泰勒的奇迹
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吉尔伯特泰勒所拥有的研究机会不是每一位脑科学家都所希望拥有的：她有严重中风，并且观察到她大脑的功能--运动，语言，自我意识-一个接一个关闭。这真是令人惊讶的故事。
Jill Bolte Taylor - Neuroanatomist
Brain researcher Jill Bolte Taylor studied her own stroke as it happened -- and has become a powerful voice for brain recovery. Full bio
Brain researcher Jill Bolte Taylor studied her own stroke as it happened -- and has become a powerful voice for brain recovery. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:18
I grew up to study the brain
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我之所以选择学习脑科
00:21
because I have a brother who has been diagnosed with a brain disorder:
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是因为我的一个弟弟被诊断大脑功能紊乱，
00:25
schizophrenia. And as a sister
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用专业点的说法就是精神分裂症。作为姐姐，
00:27
and later, as a scientist, I wanted to understand, why
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到后来是作为科学家，我十分想了解为什么我们会做梦，
00:31
is it that I can take my dreams, I can connect
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而且能够将做的梦和现实联系起来，
00:34
them to my reality, and I can make my dreams come true?
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更有可能会梦想成真。
00:37
What is it about my brother's brain and
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我弟弟的大脑到底是怎么了？
00:41
his schizophrenia that he cannot connect his
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他得的精神分裂症就是他不能将他做的梦
00:44
dreams to a common and shared reality, so they
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和普通的现实结合起来，所以相反的，
00:48
instead become delusion?
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就形成了幻觉。
00:51
So I dedicated my career to research into the
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因此我致力于研究这些严重的精神疾病。
00:53
severe mental illnesses. And I moved from my home state
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而且我也从印第安纳州搬到波士顿，
00:56
of Indiana to Boston, where I was working in
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在那里，我可以在哈佛精神病学，
00:59
the lab of Dr. Francine Benes, in the Harvard
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在实验过程中，我们会一直询问：
01:02
Department of Psychiatry. And in the lab, we were asking the question,
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“从生物学的角度来说，个体与个体的究竟在哪里？
01:08
"What are the biological differences between the brains of individuals
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那些被诊断为精神分裂症，精神压抑的混乱症状或者
01:13
who would be diagnosed as normal control,
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大脑功能极端紊乱的病人相比，
01:15
as compared with the brains of individuals diagnosed with
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他们和那些大脑控制功能正常的人有什么区别？”
01:18
schizophrenia, schizoaffective or bipolar disorder?"
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所以我们首先画出了大脑的微线性图：
01:23
So we were essentially mapping the microcircuitry
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哪些细胞是和哪些细胞是有联系的？
01:26
of the brain: which cells are communicating with
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通过何种化学物质联系？
01:29
which cells, with which chemicals, and then in
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这些化学物质有多少？
01:32
what quantities of those chemicals?
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因此我的生活充满意义，因为在白天，
01:35
So there was a lot of meaning in my life because I was performing
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我一直在从事这种研究。
01:39
this type of research during the day.
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但是晚上和周末，
01:42
But then in the evenings and on the weekends,
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我则作为精神疾病联盟一员从事一些宣传工作。
01:45
I traveled as an advocate for NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness.
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但是1996年12月10号的早上，
01:50
But on the morning of December 10, 1996, I woke up
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当我起来时却发现自己大脑有点紊乱。
01:53
to discover that I had a brain disorder of my own.
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我的大脑左半球的血管充血爆裂。
01:57
A blood vessel exploded in the left half of my brain.
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在4个小时的时间里，
02:01
And in the course of four hours,
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我的大脑完全失去了它传达信息的功能。
02:03
I watched my brain completely deteriorate in its ability to
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早上的脑充血，
02:08
process all information. On the morning of the hemorrhage,
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使我不能走路、交谈、读、写和唤醒其他身体机能。
02:12
I could not walk, talk, read, write or recall any of my life.
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尽管我是个成年的女性，但身体行动却完全如同婴儿一般。
02:18
I essentially became an infant in a woman's body.
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不知道各位是否见过人类的大脑，
02:23
If you've ever seen a human brain,
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很明显，它是由两个独立的半球组成。
02:26
it's obvious that the two hemispheres are completely separate from one another.
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今天我给大家带来了一个真实的人脑。
02:29
And I have brought for you a real human brain.
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看，这就是一个真实的人脑，
02:38
So this is a real human brain.
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这是大脑的前面，
02:46
This is the front of the brain,
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这是后面，大家还可以看到延伸的脊髓，
02:48
the back of brain with the spinal cord hanging down,
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它就是这样存在于我们的脑袋里的。
02:52
and this is how it would be positioned inside of my head.
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当我们再看这个大脑的时候，
02:56
And when you look at the brain, it's obvious that
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我们可以轻易的发现这两个半球的大脑皮质是完全分开的。
02:58
the two cerebral cortices are completely separate from one another.
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各位都知道电脑的工作原理，
03:04
For those of you who understand computers,
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我们的右半脑的功能就像一个并行处理机，
03:06
our right hemisphere functions like a parallel processor,
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我们的左脑半球就像一个串行处理机。
03:09
while our left hemisphere functions like a serial processor.
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这两个半球，由胼胝体连接在一起，
03:13
The two hemispheres do communicate with one another
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使两个半球的神经传导得以互通。
03:16
through the corpus collosum,
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胼胝体是由三亿轴体光纤组成的。
03:18
which is made up of some 300 million axonal fibers.
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但是除了那些联系，
03:22
But other than that,
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这两个半球则是完全独立的。
03:24
the two hemispheres are completely separate.
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因为它们传达的信息不同，
03:28
Because they process information differently,
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我们每个脑半球的思考的东西也不一样，
03:31
each of our hemispheres think about different things,
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它们掌管的区域不一样，我敢说，
03:34
they care about different things, and, dare I say,
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它们有不同的特性。
03:38
they have very different personalities.
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打扰以下，谢谢你。很有意思吧。
03:43
Excuse me. Thank you. It's been a joy. Assistant: It has been.
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我们的右脑半球负责我们现在的事情。
03:51
Our right human hemisphere is all about this present moment.
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它的内容就是：“此时，此刻。”
03:55
It's all about "right here, right now."
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而且我们的右脑半球，它是形象思维，
04:00
Our right hemisphere, it thinks in pictures
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它通过我们身体的运动来感知。
04:03
and it learns kinesthetically through the movement of our bodies.
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信息，以能量的形式，
04:07
Information, in the form of energy, streams in simultaneously
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通过我们的感官系统同时注入大脑，
04:12
through all of our sensory systems
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然后再分解成无数的抽象的拼图
04:14
and then it explodes into this enormous collage
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继而呈现我们现在看起来是什么样，
04:17
of what this present moment looks like,
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此刻有什么气味和味道，
04:21
what this present moment smells like and tastes like,
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此刻的感觉是什么？听到了什么声音？
04:24
what it feels like and what it sounds like.
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通过大脑右半球的感觉，
04:29
I am an energy-being connected to the energy all around me
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使得自身的能量和周围的能量相结合。
04:34
through the consciousness of my right hemisphere.
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通过我们右半脑的感觉，
04:37
We are energy-beings connected to one another
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我们都是一个个互相联系的能量体，如同一个家庭。
04:41
through the consciousness of our right hemispheres as one human family.
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此时，
04:47
And right here,
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此刻，我们都是同一个星球上的兄弟姐妹，
04:49
right now, we are brothers and sisters on this planet,
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我们的目标是让这个世界更加的美好。
04:51
here to make the world a better place.
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而且此时此刻，我们和谐的生活在一起，我们是一个和谐的整体。
04:55
And in this moment we are perfect, we are whole and we are beautiful.
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我的左脑半球，我们的左脑半球，则是一个完全不同的地方。
05:02
My left hemisphere -- our left hemisphere -- is a very different place.
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我们左脑半球的思考是线性的，系统的。
05:07
Our left hemisphere thinks linearly and methodically.
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我们的左脑半球的内容
05:11
Our left hemisphere
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是关于过去和将来。
05:13
is all about the past and it's all about the future.
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我们左脑半球的形成，
05:17
Our left hemisphere is designed to take that
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是为了将此刻的大量抽象拼图，
05:20
enormous collage of the present moment and start
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提取，然后分解成细节，很多的不同的细节。
05:23
picking out details, details and more details about those details.
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然后再综合，
05:27
It then categorizes and
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组织这些信息，
05:29
organizes all that information, associates it
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和我们过去所学的一切联系起来，
05:33
with everything in the past we've ever learned, and
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映射到我们的将来。
05:36
projects into the future all of our possibilities.
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我们的左脑半球是逻辑思维模式。
05:40
And our left hemisphere thinks in language.
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大脑不断运动联系了我，
05:44
It's that ongoing brain chatter that connects me and my
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我内在的世界，以及我的外在的世界。
05:47
internal world to my external world.
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就是那些轻微的声音提醒我说，，
05:51
It's that little voice that says to me, "Hey, you gotta remember
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“嘿，记得在回家的路上带点香蕉回来。
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to pick up bananas on your way home.
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我早上想吃香蕉。”
05:58
I need them in the morning."
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是那些智能程序提醒我，
05:59
It's that calculating intelligence that reminds me
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我得洗衣服了。但最重要的可能是，
06:02
when I have to do my laundry. But perhaps most important,
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那些细小的声音在提醒我，
06:05
it's that little voice that says to me,
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“我就是我，我就是我。”然后我得左脑半球会提醒说“我就是我，”
06:09
"I am. I am." And as soon as my left hemisphere says to me "I am,"
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因此我成为了一个独立的个体。
06:15
I become separate.
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我是一个独立的立体的个人，
06:18
I become a single solid individual, separate from the energy flow
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和周围其它的能量分离，也和你分离。
06:22
around me and separate from you.
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这就是早上中风的时候，
06:25
And this was the portion of my brain that I lost
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我的大脑所丢失的部分。
06:28
on the morning of my stroke.
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早上中风后，
06:30
On the morning of the stroke, I woke up to a
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醒来时，感觉我得左眼很疼。
06:34
pounding pain behind my left eye. And it was the kind of pain --
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是一种钻心的疼。如同你咬了一口冰淇淋。
06:39
caustic pain -- that you get when you
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先是紧紧地揪住我，
06:41
bite into ice cream. And it just gripped me --
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然后再释放。然后再揪住我，
06:45
and then it released me. And then it just gripped me --
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再释放。它不同于我以往
06:49
and then it released me. And it was very unusual
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所经历的任何形式的疼痛。
06:52
for me to ever experience any kind of pain,
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因此，我想着，我应该开始我的常规生活了。
06:55
so I thought, "OK, I'll just start my normal routine."
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我起床，然后跳到我的健身器材上，
06:57
So I got up and I jumped onto my cardio glider,
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它是一个活动全身部位的机器。
07:00
which is a full-body, full-exercise machine.
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正当我在运动的时候。
07:03
And I'm jamming away on this thing, and I'm realizing
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突然意识到我的手就像原始的爪子一样
07:08
that my hands look like primitive claws grasping
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抓着扶手。我想，“这真的很奇特。”
07:12
onto the bar. And I thought, "That's very peculiar."
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我观察了身体的状况，联想到，“哇，
07:15
And I looked down at my body and I thought, "Whoa,
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“我看起来真是个奇怪的东西。”好像
07:18
I'm a weird-looking thing." And it was as though
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我的意识已经被搬离了我正常的
07:21
my consciousness had shifted away from my normal
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对于真实世界的感觉，就是我，是那个在器械上
07:24
perception of reality, where I'm the person on the
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保持运动的人，更深奥的说
07:27
machine having the experience, to some esoteric space
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就是我亲眼目睹我自己经历这一切。
07:30
where I'm witnessing myself having this experience.
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这非常特别，我头更疼了。
07:35
And it was all very peculiar, and my headache was
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我走下了器械，
07:37
just getting worse. So I get off the machine,
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走过起居室的时候，
07:39
and I'm walking across my living room floor, and I
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我意识到我体内的所有东西
07:42
realize that everything inside of my body has
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都缓慢了下来。每一步都非常的僵硬而且非常谨慎。
07:44
slowed way down. And every step is very rigid and
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我的步伐没有灵活性，
07:49
very deliberate. There's no fluidity to my pace,
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在我的感觉范围内，有了这种约束，
07:52
and there's this constriction in my area of perceptions,
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于是我注意到了我体内的系统。
07:55
so I'm just focused on internal systems.
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我站在淋浴间准备冲个澡
07:59
And I'm standing in my bathroom getting ready to
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我能十分确定的听到
08:01
step into the shower, and I could actually hear the
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我体内的对话。我听见一个小声音说到
08:03
dialogue inside of my body. I heard a little voice
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“好了，肌肉，现在你们必须运动。
08:06
saying, "OK. You muscles, you gotta contract.
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肌肉，你休息！”
08:09
You muscles, you relax."
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接着我失去了平衡，我倚靠着墙站立着。
08:10
And then I lost my balance, and I'm propped up against the wall.
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我低头看看我的胳膊，
08:13
And I look down at my arm and I realize
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发现我已经无法感觉我身体的界限了。
08:17
that I can no longer define the boundaries of my body.
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我也不知道我从哪里开始的将从哪里结束，
08:21
I can't define where I begin and where I end,
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因为我胳膊上所有的原子和分子
08:25
because the atoms and the molecules of my arm
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都与墙上的原子分子融合在一起了。
08:28
blended with the atoms and molecules of the wall.
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我能分辨出来的只有这种能量——这种能量。
08:32
And all I could detect was this energy -- energy.
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我对自己说，“我究竟是怎么了？
08:36
And I'm asking myself, "What is wrong with me?
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“发生了什么事？”而就在那个时候，我的脑子开始咔哒作响了——
08:38
What is going on?" And in that moment, my brain chatter --
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我的左脑嗡嗡的响——突然一片寂静。
08:42
my left hemisphere brain chatter -- went totally silent.
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就像有人拿起了一个远程遥控器
08:45
Just like someone took a remote control
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按下了静音键。彻底的寂静。
08:48
and pushed the mute button. Total silence.
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起初我发现身处寂静之中，
08:51
And at first I was shocked to find myself
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非常吃惊，但马上我就
08:54
inside of a silent mind. But then I was immediately
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被周围那种宏大的能量所迷惑了。
08:58
captivated by the magnificence of the energy around me.
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因为我已经不能感觉到
09:02
And because I could no longer identify
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身体的界限。我觉得自己非常巨大而且非常膨胀。
09:06
the boundaries of my body, I felt enormous and expansive.
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通过这些能量我马上感觉到
09:09
I felt at one with all the energy that was,
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--很美妙。
09:13
and it was beautiful there.
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接着突然我左脑回来了，
09:16
Then all of a sudden my left hemisphere comes back
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它对我说：“嘿，我们遇到麻烦了！
09:18
online, and it says to me, "Hey! We got a problem!
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我们遇到麻烦了！我们需要帮助！”
09:21
We got a problem! We gotta get some help."
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接着我反应过来，“阿，我遇到麻烦了！
09:23
And I'm going, "Ahh! I got a problem.
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我遇到麻烦了，”于是就像，“好吧，好吧，我遇到麻烦了！”
09:25
I got a problem." So it's like, "OK. OK. I got a problem."
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但然后我突然漂了回来
09:28
But then I immediately drifted right back
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恢复了意识——我亲切的称
09:31
out into the consciousness -- and I affectionately
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这种空间叫做“拉拉大地”。
09:34
refer to this space as La La Land.
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那儿非常美。
09:38
But it was beautiful there. Imagine what it would
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想象你和你的大脑完全失去了联系
09:40
be like to be totally disconnected from your brain
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而大脑本应该把你与外部世界联系起来的。
09:43
chatter that connects you to the external world.
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因而我就在这种空间，而我的工作——
09:46
So here I am in this space, and my job -- and any
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以及所有与我工作相关的压力——都没了。
09:49
stress related to my job -- it was gone.
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我觉得身体很轻，想象：
09:52
And I felt lighter in my body. And imagine
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外部世界的所有关系和
09:55
all of the relationships in the external world and any
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所有与那些关系相关的刺激——一切都没了。
09:59
stressors related to any of those -- they were gone.
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我感觉很平静。
10:02
And I felt this sense of peacefulness.
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想象一下，一下子丢掉了37年情感重担，是什么样的感觉！
10:07
And imagine what it would feel like to lose 37 years of emotional baggage!
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噢，我觉得非常快乐。
10:12
(Laughter) Oh! I felt euphoria --
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非常快乐。非常美丽。
10:18
euphoria. It was beautiful.
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接着，我的左脑又恢复了，它说
10:21
And then, again, my left hemisphere comes online and it says,
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“嘿，你得注意
10:23
"Hey! You've got to pay attention.
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我们需要帮助！”接着我就想，“我需要帮助！”
10:25
We've got to get help." And I'm thinking, "I got to get help.
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我需要集中精神。
10:27
I gotta focus."
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于是我走出淋浴间，
10:29
So I get out of the shower and I mechanically
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机械的穿上衣服，然后在我的屋子里走来走去。
10:31
dress and I'm walking around my apartment,
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我在想，“我必须去工作，我必须去工作
10:33
and I'm thinking, "I gotta get to work. I gotta get to work.
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“我能开车吗？我能开车吗？”
10:35
Can I drive? Can I drive?"
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那一刻，我的右手完全瘫痪了，
10:38
And in that moment my right arm went totally
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我意识到
10:40
paralyzed by my side. Then I realized,
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“噢天哪！我中风了！我中风了！”
10:43
"Oh my gosh! I'm having a stroke! I'm having a stroke!"
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接着我的脑子对我说：“哇噢！
10:46
And the next thing my brain says to me is, "Wow!
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“很酷嘛！这简直太酷了！”
10:49
This is so cool." (Laughter) "This is so cool!
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“有多少脑科专家能有机会
10:55
How many brain scientists have the opportunity
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在他们自己的脑子上进行学术研究啊！”
10:57
to study their own brain from the inside out?"
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（笑声）
11:00
(Laughter)
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接着我的脑子里回响，“但我是个非常忙的人！”
11:02
And then it crosses my mind, "But I'm a very busy woman!"
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“我可没时间中风！
11:06
(Laughter) "I don't have time for a stroke!"
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接着我就像是，“那好吧，我没有办法阻止中风的发生，
11:09
So I'm like, "OK, I can't stop the stroke from happening,
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那么我就这样过一两个礼拜，
11:11
so I'll do this for a week or two, and
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然后就回到自己本来的生活，嗯！
11:14
then I'll get back to my routine. OK.
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我需要帮助，我得给单位打个电话！”
11:16
So I gotta call help. I gotta call work."
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但我记不起单位的电话号码了，
11:18
I couldn't remember the number at work,
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接着我想起在我的办公室我有一张名片
11:20
so I remembered, in my office I had a business card
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上面有我的号码，于是我回到了我的屋里，
11:22
with my number on it. So I go into my business room,
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我找出了一叠儿三英寸大小的名片。
11:25
I pull out a three-inch stack of business cards.
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我盯着名片的正面，
11:28
And I'm looking at the card on top and even though
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虽然我能看得很清楚我的名片长什么样儿，
11:31
I could see clearly in my mind's eye what my business card looked like,
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但是我却没有办法分辨出这张卡是不是我的，
11:35
I couldn't tell if this
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或许是因为我能看到的只是像素一样的东西。
11:37
was my card or not, because all I could see were pixels.
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而且是名片的上的单词混合起来的像素。
11:40
And the pixels of the words blended
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就像是与背景和那些标点符号混合起来的，
11:42
with the pixels of the background and the pixels of the symbols,
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而我就是无法辨认。
11:45
and I just couldn't tell.
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之后我就等着，等着我希望的那种清楚地感觉出现。
11:47
And then I would wait for what I call a wave of clarity.
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那个时候，我就能够
11:50
And in that moment, I would be able to
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重新与现实结合起来，
11:53
reattach to normal reality and I could tell
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然后我也发现那不是我要的名片……那不是我要的名片……那不是我要的名片
11:56
that's not the card ... that's not the card ... that's not the card.
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我整整花了45分钟从那一叠儿名片中
11:58
It took me 45 minutes to get one inch down
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一张一张的找我的名片。
12:02
inside of that stack of cards.
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同时经过这45分钟，
12:05
In the meantime, for 45 minutes, the hemorrhage is
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我左脑里的积血越来越多了。
12:07
getting bigger in my left hemisphere.
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我看不懂数字，我没办法打电话
12:09
I do not understand numbers, I do not understand the telephone,
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但是我也只能这样做了。
12:12
but it's the only plan I have.
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于是我把电话簿拿起来放在那儿，我拿起了名片
12:14
So I take the phone pad and I put it right here. I take the business card,
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也把它放在那儿，
12:17
I put it right here, and
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我把名片上那些乱七八糟的文字，
12:19
I'm matching the shape of the squiggles on the card
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和电话簿上那些乱七八糟的文字一一对比。
12:23
to the shape of the squiggles on the phone pad.
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接着我又飘到了我的“拉拉大地”去了，
12:26
But then I would drift back out into La La Land,
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也不记得当我回到现实的时候，
12:29
and not remember when I came back if I'd already
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我到底有没有拨通了那些号码。
12:32
dialed those numbers.
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我不得不把我那瘫掉的胳膊像举树桩一样举起
12:33
So I had to wield my paralyzed arm like a stump
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移到那些号码上然后摁下
12:37
and cover the numbers as I went along and pushed
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那样我就能够回到正常的现实里面
12:40
them, so that as I would come back to normal
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告诉自己 ，“对，我已经拨通了那个号码！”
12:43
reality, I'd be able to tell, "Yes, I've already dialed that number."
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最终，整个号码被拨通了
12:48
Eventually, the whole number gets dialed
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我拿着听筒，
12:50
and I'm listening to the phone, and
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我的同事接听了电话，并对我说
12:52
my colleague picks up the phone and he says to me,
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“汪汪汪汪，”（笑声）我不禁想
12:56
"Woo woo woo woo." (Laughter) And I think to myself,
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“天哪，他听起来就像一只金毛猎狗！”
13:01
"Oh my gosh, he sounds like a Golden Retriever!"
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我就对他说，我记得很清楚，我对他说：
13:08
And so I say to him -- clear in my mind, I say to him:
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“我是吉尔，我需要帮助！”
13:10
"This is Jill! I need help!"
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但是我发出的声音却是，“汪汪汪汪汪！”
13:13
And what comes out of my voice is, "Woo woo woo woo woo."
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我想，“天哪，我听起来也像一只金毛猎狗。”
13:16
I'm thinking, "Oh my gosh, I sound like a Golden Retriever."
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但我没法知道，我也不知道
13:18
So I couldn't know -- I didn't know that
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直到我尝试了半天才明白我已经不能说或者听懂语言了。
13:21
I couldn't speak or understand language until I tried.
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但他马上意识到我需要帮助，接着他帮助了我。
13:24
So he recognizes that I need help and he gets me help.
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一会儿，
13:27
And a little while later, I am riding in an
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我就已经躺在从波士顿开往麻省综合医院的救护车里了。
13:31
ambulance from one hospital across Boston to [Massachusetts] General Hospital.
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我蜷缩起来，把自己像婴儿那样卷成一个球。
13:35
And I curl up into a little fetal ball.
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就像只剩最后一点点空气的气球，
13:37
And just like a balloon with the last bit of air,
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就在那个气球外面，
13:44
just, just right out of the balloon,
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我觉得我的能量流失了——我觉得我的精神投降了。
13:47
I just felt my energy lift and just -- I felt my spirit surrender.
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那个时候，我明白我已经
13:51
And in that moment, I knew that I
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不再是主宰自己生命的指导了。
13:57
was no longer the choreographer of my life.
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医生拯救了我的身体，
14:00
And either the doctors rescue my body and give me a
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给了我第二次生存的机会，
14:03
second chance at life, or this was perhaps
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这也许是我转折的那一刻。
14:06
my moment of transition.
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那天下午我醒来的时候，我非常惊讶地
14:13
When I woke later that afternoon, I was shocked
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发现我仍然活着。当我发现我精神投降的时候，
14:17
to discover that I was still alive. When I felt my spirit surrender,
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我已经对我的生命说了再见。
14:22
I said goodbye to my life.
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我的精神在两个完全相反的
14:25
And my mind was now suspended between two very
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真实星球漂浮着。我感官系统带来的
14:29
opposite planes of reality. Stimulation coming in
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刺激就像纯粹的痛。
14:33
through my sensory systems felt like pure pain.
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我的脑子就像野火一样燃烧，
14:37
Light burned my brain like wildfire, and sounds
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声音非常吵杂和混乱，以至于我没有办法
14:41
were so loud and chaotic that I could not pick a
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从那些噪音中区别出任何一种声音，
14:45
voice out from the background noise,
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我只是想逃离。因为我无法辨别
14:49
and I just wanted to escape. Because I could not identify the
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我身体所处的位置，我还是感觉巨大而且膨胀，
14:53
position of my body in space, I felt enormous and expansive,
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就像是从瓶中获得解放的小鬼。
14:58
like a genie just liberated from her bottle.
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我的灵魂自由的翱翔，就像一条大鲸鱼
15:03
And my spirit soared free, like a great whale
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在安静而快乐的海洋里面翻腾。
15:08
gliding through the sea of silent euphoria.
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天堂，我看到了天堂，我记得我想
15:14
Nirvana. I found Nirvana. And I remember thinking,
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我可能没有办法把我自己
15:22
there's no way I would ever be able to squeeze
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重新积压到这个小小的躯体里。
15:25
the enormousness of myself back inside this tiny little body.
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但我意识到，“我还活着，我还活着！
15:32
But then I realized, "But I'm still alive! I'm still alive,
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而且我找到了天堂，如果我
15:36
and I have found Nirvana. And if I have
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找到了天堂而且我还活着，那么活着的每一个人
15:40
found Nirvana and I'm still alive, then everyone
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都能找到天堂。”我描绘了一个世界
15:43
who is alive can find Nirvana." And I pictured a world
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充满了美丽、宁逸、怜悯
15:50
filled with beautiful, peaceful, compassionate,
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友爱的人们，他们知道
15:54
loving people who knew that they could come to
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他们随时能够到这个空间。他们能够
15:57
this space at any time. And that they could
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有目的的选择控制他们的左脑
16:01
purposely choose to step to the right of their
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让他们找到和平。接着，
16:05
left hemispheres and find this peace. And then
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我意识到这是多么重大的一份礼物和经历阿！
16:10
I realized what a tremendous gift this experience
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对于我们如何生活，这是多么富有远见的一次中风阿！
16:14
could be, what a stroke of insight this could be
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这成为了我恢复的动力。
16:19
to how we live our lives. And it motivated me to recover.
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出血两个半星期之后，
16:28
Two and a half weeks after the hemorrhage, the
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外科医生帮我取出了一个高尔夫球般大小的血块
16:31
surgeons went in and they removed a blood clot
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它一直挤压着我的语言中枢。
16:33
the size of a golf ball that was pushing on my language centers.
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现在我和我妈妈在一起，
16:36
Here I am with my mama,
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她真的是我生命中的一位天使。我完全恢复整整用了八年。
16:38
who is a true angel in my life. It took me eight years to completely recover.
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我们是谁？我们是宇宙中生命的驱动力，
16:47
So who are we? We are the life-force power of the universe,
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拥有灵巧的手工技艺以及两页富有认知的头脑。
16:52
with manual dexterity and two cognitive minds.
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我们有选择的力量，时时刻刻，
16:57
And we have the power to choose, moment by moment,
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成为这个世界上我们希望成为的人。
17:01
who and how we want to be in the world.
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此时此刻，我能够迈入
17:06
Right here, right now, I can step into the
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我右脑所反应的意识领域，也就是我们所在的地方。
17:08
consciousness of my right hemisphere, where we are.
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我是宇宙的生命原动力。
17:12
I am the life-force power of the universe.
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我是组成我整体的五百亿
17:16
I am the life-force power of the 50 trillion beautiful
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美丽的、由分子组成的天才的原动力。
17:19
molecular geniuses that make up my form, at one with all that is.
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或者，我能够迈入我左脑
17:25
Or, I can choose to step into the consciousness of
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所反应的意识领域，我成为了一个个体，
17:28
my left hemisphere, where I become a single individual,
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一个纯粹的个体。从流动中分离出来，
17:32
a solid. Separate from the flow,
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从你们中分离出来，我是吉尔波尔特泰勒博士，
17:36
separate from you. I am Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor:
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一位有知识的神经解剖学家。这就是我体内的那个“我们”。
17:39
intellectual, neuroanatomist. These are the "we" inside of me.
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你愿意选择什么？你选择什么？什么时候？
17:50
Which would you choose? Which do you choose? And when?
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我相信，我们花费更多的时间
17:59
I believe that the more time we spend
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来选择运行我们右脑中埋藏深深的和平系统，
18:03
choosing to run the deep inner-peace circuitry
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我们就会对这个世界产生更多的和谐，
18:06
of our right hemispheres, the more peace we will
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我们的星球也会变得更加安宁。
18:09
project into the world, and the more peaceful our planet will be.
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我认为这是一个值得去推广的主意。
18:13
And I thought that was an idea worth spreading.
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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Jill Bolte Taylor - NeuroanatomistBrain researcher Jill Bolte Taylor studied her own stroke as it happened -- and has become a powerful voice for brain recovery.
Why you should listen
One morning, a blood vessel in Jill Bolte Taylor's brain exploded. As a brain scientist, she realized she had a ringside seat to her own stroke. She watched as her brain functions shut down one by one: motion, speech, memory, self-awareness ...
Amazed to find herself alive, Taylor spent eight years recovering her ability to think, walk and talk. She has become a spokesperson for stroke recovery and for the possibility of coming back from brain injury stronger than before. In her case, although the stroke damaged the left side of her brain, her recovery unleashed a torrent of creative energy from her right. From her home base in Indiana, she now travels the country on behalf of the Harvard Brain Bank as the "Singin' Scientist."
Jill Bolte Taylor | Speaker | TED.com