TEDxKids@Ambleside
Kevin Breel: Confessions of a depressed comic
Kevin Breel: Confessions d'un còmic deprimit
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Kevin Breel no semblava un noi deprimit: capità de l'equip, present a totes les festes, divertit i segur d'ell mateix. Però explcia la història de la nit en que es va adonar que, per salvar la seva vida, havia de dir dues senzilles paraules.
Kevin Breel - Comedian, activist
Writer, comic and mental health activist Kevin Breel speaks up about depression. Full bio
Writer, comic and mental health activist Kevin Breel speaks up about depression. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
For a long time in my life,
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Al llarg de molt de temps
00:15
I felt like I'd been living two different lives.
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m'he sentit com si visqués dues vides diferents.
00:19
There's the life that everyone sees,
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Per un costat hi ha la vida que tothom veu
00:23
and then there's the life that only I see.
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i per l'altre hi ha la vida que només veig jo.
00:26
And in the life that everyone sees,
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I en la vida que veu tothom,
00:29
who I am is a friend,
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sóc un bon amic,
00:31
a son, a brother,
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un fill, un germà,
00:34
a stand-up comedian and a teenager.
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un humorista i un adolescent.
00:37
That's the life everyone sees.
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Això és el que tothom veu.
00:39
If you were to ask my friends and family to describe me,
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Si demaneu a la meva família
i amics que em descriguin
i amics que em descriguin
00:41
that's what they would tell you.
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us diran exactament això.
00:43
And that's a huge part of me. That is who I am.
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I això és bona part de qui sóc. Això és el que sóc.
00:45
And if you were to ask me to describe myself,
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I si em demaneu a mi que em descrigui
00:47
I'd probably say some of those same things.
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potser diria algunes d'aquestes coses,
00:50
And I wouldn't be lying,
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i no estaria dient cap mentida,
00:54
but I wouldn't totally be telling you the truth, either,
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però tampoc us estaria dient tota la veritat,
00:58
because the truth is,
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perquè la veritat és
00:59
that's just the life everyone else sees.
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que això és només la vida que els altres veuen.
01:02
In the life that only I see, who I am,
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En canvi, la part de mi que només conec jo,
01:06
who I really am,
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com sóc en realitat,
01:08
is someone who struggles intensely with depression.
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és la d'una persona en intensa lluita contra la depressió.
01:12
I have for the last six years of my life,
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Ho he fet des de fa sis anys
01:15
and I continue to every day.
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i ho continuo fent a dia d'avui.
01:20
Now, for someone who has never experienced depression
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Per a algú que mai ha patit depressió
01:23
or doesn't really know what that means,
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o que no sap el que vol dir
01:24
that might surprise them to hear,
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això els pot sorprendre,
01:25
because there's this pretty popular misconception
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perquè hi ha la creença errònia
01:27
that depression is just being sad
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que la depressió és sentir-se trist
01:30
when something in your life goes wrong,
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quan et passa alguna cosa dolenta,
01:32
when you break up with your girlfriend,
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com trencar amb la teva parella
01:34
when you lose a loved one,
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o perdre a la teva persona estimada,
01:35
when you don't get the job you wanted.
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o no aconseguir la feina que volies.
01:37
But that's sadness. That's a natural thing.
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Però això és tristesa, i és una cosa natural.
01:39
That's a natural human emotion.
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És un sentiment humà natural.
01:41
Real depression isn't being sad
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La depressió de veritat no és sentir-se trist
01:45
when something in your life goes wrong.
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quan et passa alguna cosa dolenta.
01:48
Real depression is being sad
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La depressió de veritat és estar trist
01:50
when everything in your life is going right.
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quan tot et va bé a la teva vida.
01:53
That's real depression, and that's what I suffer from.
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Això és la depressió de veritat, i això és el que em passa.
01:55
And to be totally honest,
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I, si voleu que us sigui sincer,
01:58
that's hard for me to stand up here and say.
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és dur per a mi sortir aquí i dir-ho en veu alta.
02:00
It's hard for me to talk about,
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Em resulta dur parlar-ne,
02:02
and it seems to be hard for everyone to talk about,
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i sembla que parlar-ne és difícil per tothom,
02:05
so much so that no one's talking about it.
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tant, que ningú en parla.
02:07
And no one's talking about depression, but we need to be,
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I ningú en parla, però cal parlar-ne
02:10
because right now it's a massive problem.
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perquè ara mateix representa un gran problema.
02:13
It's a massive problem.
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Un problema molt gros.
02:15
But we don't see it on social media, right?
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Però no en sentim a parlar als mitjans de comunicació, oi que no?
02:17
We don't see it on Facebook. We don't see it on Twitter.
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No ho veiem a Facebook. Ni a Twitter.
02:19
We don't see it on the news, because it's not happy,
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No surt a les notícies, perquè no és divertit.
02:21
it's not fun, it's not light.
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No és divertit, no és trivial.
02:22
And so because we don't see it, we don't see the severity of it.
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I com no ho veiem, no som conscients de la seva importància.
02:26
But the severity of it and the seriousness of it is this:
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Però és molt important, perquè
02:30
every 30 seconds,
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cada 30 segons,
02:31
every 30 seconds, somewhere,
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cada 30 segons, a algun lloc del món,
02:34
someone in the world takes their own life
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alguna persona es lleva la vida
02:36
because of depression,
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a causa d'una depressió,
02:37
and it might be two blocks away, it might be two countries away,
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i pot passar en el nostre carrer, o en un altre país,
02:39
it might be two continents away, but it's happening,
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o inclús en un altre continent, però està passant,
02:41
and it's happening every single day.
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i passa cada dia.
02:43
And we have a tendency, as a society,
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Com a societat, tenim la tendència
02:46
to look at that and go, "So what?"
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de veure això i pensar "I a mi què?".
02:51
So what? We look at that, and we go, "That's your problem.
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I què? Ho escoltem i pensem "això no va amb mi,
02:56
That's their problem."
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no és problema meu".
02:58
We say we're sad and we say we're sorry,
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Ens fa pena i diem que ho sentim,
03:00
but we also say, "So what?"
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però també diem "I què?".
03:02
Well, two years ago it was my problem,
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Doncs fa dos anys era el meu problema,
03:06
because I sat on the edge of my bed
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perquè estava assegut a la vora del meu llit,
03:10
where I'd sat a million times before
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on m'havia assegut mil cops,
03:14
and I was suicidal.
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i tenia ideació suïcida.
03:17
I was suicidal, and if you were to look at my life on the surface,
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Pensava en el suïcidi, però si haguéssiu fet una ullada a la meva vida
03:21
you wouldn't see a kid who was suicidal.
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no hauríeu vist un nen que es vol suïcidar.
03:23
You'd see a kid who was the captain of his basketball team,
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Hauríeu vist un nen que era el capità de l'equip de bàsquet,
03:25
the drama and theater student of the year,
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l'estudiant d'art dramàtic i teatre de l'any,
03:27
the English student of the year,
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l'estudiant d'anglès de l'any,
03:28
someone who was consistently on the honor roll
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una persona situada constantment al quadre d'honor
03:30
and consistently at every party.
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i present a cada festa.
03:33
So you would say I wasn't depressed, you would say
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Així que mai haguéssiu dit que estava deprimit.
03:35
I wasn't suicidal, but you would be wrong.
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O que pensava en el suïcidi, però us ha equivocaríeu.
03:38
You would be wrong. So I sat there that night
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Estaríeu equivocats. Així que em trobava assegut aquella nit
03:39
beside a bottle of pills with a pen and paper in my hand
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al costat d'un pot de pastilles, amb un bolígraf
i un paper a la mà
i un paper a la mà
03:43
and I thought about taking my own life
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i pensant en treure'm la vida,
03:45
and I came this close to doing it.
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i hi va anar d'un pèl.
03:49
I came this close to doing it.
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Hi vaig estar molt a prop.
03:50
And I didn't, so that makes me one of the lucky ones,
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Però no ho vaig fer, la qual cosa em situa entre els afortunats,
03:53
one of the people who gets to step out on the ledge
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un dels pocs que s'apropen al precipici
03:56
and look down but not jump,
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i miren cap a baix però no salten,
03:58
one of the lucky ones who survives.
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un dels afortunats que sobreviuen.
04:00
Well, I survived, and that just leaves me with my story,
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Bé, jo vaig sobreviure, i això em permet contar la meva història,
04:02
and my story is this:
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que és la següent:
04:05
In four simple words, I suffer from depression.
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en dues paraules, tinc depressió.
04:08
I suffer from depression,
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Tinc depressió,
04:10
and for a long time, I think,
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i em fa l'efecte que durant molt de temps
04:18
I was living two totally different lives,
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he viscut dues vides totalment diferents,
04:20
where one person was always afraid of the other.
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i era dues persones que es feien por una a l'altra.
04:22
I was afraid that people would see me for who I really was,
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Em feia por que em veiessin tal com era realment,
04:24
that I wasn't the perfect, popular kid in high school everyone thought I was,
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que descobrissin que no era el noi popular i perfecte de l'institut que tothom pensava que era,
04:28
that beneath my smile, there was struggle,
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que darrere el meu somriure hi havia una lluita,
04:30
and beneath my light, there was dark,
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que darrere la meva estela, hi havia obscuritat
04:32
and beneath my big personality just hid even bigger pain.
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i darrere la meva personalitat s'amagava un dolor immens.
04:36
See, some people might fear girls not liking them back.
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A algunes persones els fa por no agradar a les noies.
04:39
Some people might fear sharks. Some people might fear death.
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A algunes altres els espanten els taurons, o inclús la mort,
04:41
But for me, for a large part of my life, I feared myself.
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però jo, durant molt de temps, he tingut por de mi mateix.
04:46
I feared my truth, I feared my honesty, I feared my vulnerability,
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Em feia por la meva veritat, la meva sinceritat i la meva vulnerabilitat,
04:48
and that fear made me feel
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i aquesta por em feia sentir
04:51
like I was forced into a corner,
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com si estigués arraconat,
04:53
like I was forced into a corner and there was only one way out,
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com si m'haguessin arraconat i només tingués una sortida,
04:56
and so I thought about that way every single day.
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i cada dia pensava en aquella sortida,
05:00
I thought about it every single day,
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cada dia,
05:01
and if I'm being totally honest, standing here
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i si us he de dir tota la veritat
05:03
I've thought about it again since, because that's the sickness,
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hi he pensat més cops des de llavors, d'això es tracta la malaltia,
05:06
that's the struggle, that's depression,
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aquesta és la lluita, això és la depressió,
05:08
and depression isn't chicken pox.
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i la depressió no és com la varicel·la.
05:09
You don't beat it once and it's gone forever.
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No la passes un cop i ja està.
05:11
It's something you live with. It's something you live in.
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Forma part de la teva vida, és la teva vida.
05:14
It's the roommate you can't kick out. It's the voice you can't ignore.
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Com un company de pis que no et pots treure de sobre. O una veu interior que no pots silenciar.
05:18
It's the feelings you can't seem to escape,
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Com un sentiment del que no pots escapar.
05:20
the scariest part is that after a while,
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El que fa més por és que, passat un temps,
05:25
you become numb to it. It becomes normal for you,
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t'acostumes. Passa a ser una cosa normal,
05:28
and what you really fear the most
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i el que fa més por
05:30
isn't the suffering inside of you.
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no és el patiment a dins teu
05:33
It's the stigma inside of others,
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sinó l'estigma per part dels altres,
05:34
it's the shame, it's the embarrassment,
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la vergonya, la humiliació,
05:37
it's the disapproving look on a friend's face,
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notar que un amic et mira amb desaprovació,
05:39
it's the whispers in the hallway that you're weak,
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que la gent parli de tu en veu baixa pel passadís i digui que ets dèbil,
05:43
it's the comments that you're crazy.
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els comentaris de que estàs boig.
05:44
That's what keeps you from getting help.
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Tot això és el que fa que no demanis ajuda.
05:46
That's what makes you hold it in and hide it.
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Que t'ho quedis tot a dintre i ho amaguis.
05:49
It's the stigma. So you hold it in and you hide it,
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És l'estigma. T'ho quedes dintre i ho amagues.
05:51
and you hold it in and you hide it,
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T'ho quedes dintre i ho amagues,
05:53
and even though it's keeping you in bed every day
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i a pesar de que fa que et quedis al llit cada dia
05:55
and it's making your life feel empty no matter how much you try and fill it,
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i que fa que la teva vida sembli buida per molt que intentis omplir-la,
05:58
you hide it, because the stigma in our society
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l'amagues, perquè l'estigma de la nostra societat
06:00
around depression is very real.
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sobre la depressió és molt real.
06:03
It's very real, and if you think that it isn't, ask yourself this:
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És molt real, i si no us ho creieu feu-vos aquesta pregunta:
06:06
Would you rather make your next Facebook status
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Què preferiríeu, actualitzar el vostre estat de Facebook
06:08
say you're having a tough time getting out of bed
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dient que no us podeu aixecar del llit
06:10
because you hurt your back
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perquè us heu fet mal a l'esquena
06:12
or you're having a tough time getting out of bed every morning
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o dir que no us podeu aixecar
06:14
because you're depressed?
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perquè esteu deprimits?
06:16
That's the stigma, because unfortunately,
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Aquest és el estigma, perquè malauradament
06:18
we live in a world where if you break your arm,
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vivim a un món on si et trenques un braç
06:21
everyone runs over to sign your cast,
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tothom vol signar el teu guix
06:23
but if you tell people you're depressed, everyone runs the other way.
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però si dius que estàs deprimit, tothom fuig.
06:26
That's the stigma.
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Això és l'estigma.
06:29
We are so, so, so accepting of any body part breaking down
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Ens sembla molt normal que una part del cos es trenqui
06:34
other than our brains. And that's ignorance.
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però no el cervell. Es pura ignorància,
06:37
That's pure ignorance, and that ignorance has created
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i aquesta ignorància ha creat
06:39
a world that doesn't understand depression,
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un món que no entén la depressió,
06:40
that doesn't understand mental health.
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que no entén la malaltia mental.
06:43
And that's ironic to me, because depression
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A mi em sembla molt irònic, perquè la depressió
06:45
is one of the best documented problems we have in the world,
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és un dels problemes més documentats que tenim al món
06:47
yet it's one of the least discussed.
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però és un dels que menys es parla.
06:49
We just push it aside and put it in a corner
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Ens limitem a apartar-lo i arraconar-lo,
06:52
and pretend it's not there and hope it'll fix itself.
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a fingir que no hi és, esperant que s'arregli sol.
06:55
Well, it won't. It hasn't, and it's not going to,
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Doncs no ho farà. No ho ha fet i no ho farà,
06:59
because that's wishful thinking,
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perquè pensar això és una ingenuïtat
07:01
and wishful thinking isn't a game plan, it's procrastination,
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i fer-se il·lusions no és un bon pla, és un ajornament
07:03
and we can't procrastinate on something this important.
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i no podem ajornar una cosa tant important.
07:08
The first step in solving any problem
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El primer pas per a solucionar un problema
07:12
is recognizing there is one.
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és admetre'l.
07:13
Well, we haven't done that, so we can't really expect
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Ni tan sols hem fet això, així que no podem esperar
07:16
to find an answer when we're still afraid of the question.
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trobar una resposta si encara ens fa por preguntar.
07:19
And I don't know what the solution is.
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I jo no sé quina és la solució.
07:23
I wish I did, but I don't -- but I think,
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Ja m'agradaria, però no... No obstant,
07:25
I think it has to start here.
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crec que hauríem de començar aquí.
07:27
It has to start with me, it has to start with you,
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Ha de començar amb mi, amb nosaltres,
07:30
it has to start with the people who are suffering,
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amb les persones que pateixen,
07:33
the ones who are hidden in the shadows.
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les que estan amagades entre les ombres.
07:35
We need to speak up and shatter the silence.
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Hem de parlar ben alt i trencar el silenci.
07:37
We need to be the ones who are brave for what we believe in,
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Hem de ser valents pel que creiem,
07:39
because if there's one thing that I've come to realize,
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perquè si m'he adonat d'una sola cosa,
07:42
if there's one thing that I see as the biggest problem,
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si hi ha una cosa que és la més difícil,
07:46
it's not in building a world
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no és construir un món
07:49
where we eliminate the ignorance of others.
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on eliminem la ignorància dels altres.
07:52
It's in building a world where we teach the acceptance of ourselves,
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És construir un món on ensenyem a acceptar-nos,
07:56
where we're okay with who we are,
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a sentir-nos bé amb qui som,
07:57
because when we get honest,
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perquè quan som sincers
07:58
we see that we all struggle and we all suffer.
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veiem que tots estem en lluita i patint.
08:01
Whether it's with this, whether it's with something else,
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Ja sigui per això o per qualsevol altra cosa,
08:03
we all know what it is to hurt.
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tots coneixem el patiment.
08:06
We all know what it is to have pain in our heart,
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Tots sabem el que és tenir mal al cor
08:08
and we all know how important it is to heal.
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i com n'és d'important curar-se.
08:11
But right now, depression is society's deep cut
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Però ara mateix, la depressió és un tall profund a la societat
08:14
that we're content to put a Band-Aid over and pretend it's not there.
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al què li posem una tireta i fem veure que no hi és.
08:17
Well, it is there. It is there, and you know what? It's okay.
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Sí que hi és, i sabeu què? no passa res.
08:21
Depression is okay. If you're going through it, know that you're okay.
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La depressió és normal. Si estàs deprimit, no passa res.
08:25
And know that you're sick, you're not weak,
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Estàs malalt, no ets feble,
08:27
and it's an issue, not an identity,
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i es tracta d'un assumpte, no d'una identitat,
08:29
because when you get past the fear and the ridicule
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perquè quan superes la por i el sentiment de ridícul
08:32
and the judgment and the stigma of others,
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i ignores la opinió i l'estigma dels altres,
08:34
you can see depression for what it really is,
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pots veure la depressió pel que és:
08:37
and that's just a part of life,
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només una part de la vida,
08:39
just a part of life, and as much as I hate,
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només una part de la vida, i malgrat el que odio,
08:43
as much as I hate some of the places,
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malgrat el que odio alguns dels llocs
08:45
some of the parts of my life depression has dragged me down to,
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o parts de la meva vida on m'ha arrossegat la depressió,
08:49
in a lot of ways I'm grateful for it.
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en molts aspectes n'estic agraït.
08:51
Because yeah, it's put me in the valleys,
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Perquè sí, m'ha portat a valls molt profunds
08:53
but only to show me there's peaks,
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però només per a mostrar-me que hi ha muntanyes,
08:54
and yeah it's dragged me through the dark
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i sí, m'ha arrossegat a la foscor
08:56
but only to remind me there is light.
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però només per recordar-me que hi ha llum.
08:58
My pain, more than anything in 19 years on this planet,
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Més que cap altra cosa en els meus 19 anys de vida, el meu dolor
09:02
has given me perspective, and my hurt,
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m'ha aportat perspectiva, i el meu patiment
09:04
my hurt has forced me to have hope,
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m'ha forçat a tenir esperança,
09:07
have hope and to have faith, faith in myself,
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i a tenir fe, fe en mi mateix,
09:10
faith in others, faith that it can get better,
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fe en el altres, fe en que es pot millorar,
09:12
that we can change this, that we can speak up
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que ho podem canviar, que podem parlar-ne,
09:14
and speak out and fight back against ignorance,
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i lluitar contra la ignorància,
09:17
fight back against intolerance,
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lluitar contra la intolerància,
09:19
and more than anything,
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i sobretot
09:21
learn to love ourselves,
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aprendre a estimar-nos,
09:24
learn to accept ourselves for who we are,
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aprendre a acceptar-nos pel que som,
09:26
the people we are, not the people the world wants us to be.
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qui som en realitat i no qui el món vol que siguem.
09:30
Because the world I believe in is one
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Perquè al món en el què crec
09:32
where embracing your light doesn't mean ignoring your dark.
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abraçar la teva llum no implica ignorar la teva foscor.
09:36
The world I believe in is one where we're measured
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Al món en el què crec se'ns mesura
09:38
by our ability to overcome adversities, not avoid them.
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per la nostra capacitat de superar adversitats, no per ignorar-les
09:43
The world I believe in is one where I can look someone in the eye
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Al món en què crec puc mirar a algú als ulls
09:47
and say, "I'm going through hell,"
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i dir: "Estic passant un calvari",
09:49
and they can look back at me and go, "Me too," and that's okay,
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i em poden contestar dient "Jo també", i no passa res.
09:52
and it's okay because depression is okay. We're people.
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I no passa res perquè la depressió és normal. Som éssers humans.
09:56
We're people, and we struggle and we suffer
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Som persones, i lluitem i patim
09:59
and we bleed and we cry, and if you think that true strength
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i sagnem i plorem, i si penseu que la verdadera força
10:01
means never showing any weakness, then I'm here
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és no mostrar-se mai dèbil, llavors jo us diré
10:03
to tell you you're wrong.
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que esteu equivocats.
10:07
You're wrong, because it's the opposite.
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Esteu equivocats, perquè es tracta del contrari.
10:11
We're people, and we have problems.
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Som persones, i tenim problemes.
10:13
We're not perfect, and that's okay.
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No som perfectes, i no passa res.
10:15
So we need to stop the ignorance,
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Així que hem d'acabar amb la ignorància,
10:17
stop the intolerance, stop the stigma,
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la intolerància, l'estigma
10:20
and stop the silence, and we need to take away the taboos,
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i el silenci, i hem de trencar els tabús,
10:25
take a look at the truth, and start talking,
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veure la veritat i començar a parlar-ne,
10:29
because the only way we're going to beat a problem
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perquè la única manera d'acabar amb un problema
10:34
that people are battling alone
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al que la gent s'enfronta tota sola
10:37
is by standing strong together,
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és mitjançant la força comuna,
10:41
by standing strong together.
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hem de ajuntar les forces.
10:45
And I believe that we can.
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I crec que podem.
10:48
I believe that we can. Thank you guys so much.
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Crec que podem. Moltes gràcies.
10:50
This is a dream come true. Thank you. (Applause)
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Això és un somni fet realitat. Gràcies. (Aplaudiments)
10:52
Thank you. (Applause)
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Gràcies. (Aplaudiments)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Kevin Breel - Comedian, activistWriter, comic and mental health activist Kevin Breel speaks up about depression.
Why you should listen
As a teenager, Kevin Breel almost took his own life. His story, so powerfully told in his viral TEDxYouth Talk, gives voice to an often silent struggle and offers a message of hope.
As Jack Knox writes in the Times Colonist :
His story, abbreviated, is this: He grew up in Cadboro Bay, a popular kid, fun at parties, English and drama awards, always on the honour roll, captain of the Lambrick Park basketball team when it was ranked No. 1 in the province. Under it all was the other him, the kid who plunged into depression at age 13 when his best friend died in a car crash.
Breel now speaks out about his own depression, with a mission of helping kids his age realize they're not alone.
Kevin Breel | Speaker | TED.com