Helen Fisher: Why we love, why we cheat
Έλεν Φίσερ: Γιατί αγαπάμε, γιατί απατάμε
Anthropologist Helen Fisher studies gender differences and the evolution of human emotions. She’s best known as an expert on romantic love. Full bio
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μεγαλύτερες τάσεις του επερχόμενου αιώνα
about the two biggest social trends
στη ρομαντική αγάπη,
with my work on romantic love,
32 ανθρώπους που ήταν τρελά ερωτευμένοι
32 people, who were madly in love,
και ο έρωτάς τους είχε ανταπόκριση
and their love was accepted;
και είχαν μόλις απορριφθεί.
and they had just been dumped.
about that first,
πώς νομίζουμε ότι θα εξελιχθεί η αγάπη.
I think love is going.
άρχισαν να αναρωτιούνται γι αυτό το θέμα
wondering about this question
the stars a million years ago.
what romantic love was
τι είναι η ρομαντική αγάπη
of the psychological research
that happen when you fall in love.
είναι αυτό που ονομάζω -
what I call, "special meaning."
μ' αυτό που ονομάζω "ειδικό νόημα."
και το κέντρο αυτό ήταν η Μαίρη-Άννα."
and that center was Mary Anne."
το είπε λίγο διαφορετικά.
των διαφορών μιας γυναίκας από μια άλλη."
the differences
(Γέλια)
σ' αυτό το πρόσωπο.
don't like about them,
για το τι δεν μας αρέσει σ' αυτό
τα ξεχνάμε όλα και συνεχίζουμε.
and focus on what you do.
τη ρομαντική αγάπη
from all over the world,
ποίηση απ' όλο τον κόσμο
you one very short poem
σύντομο ποίημα από την Κίνα του 18ου αιώνα,
on a particular woman.
τρελά ερωτευμένος με κάποια
madly in love with somebody
από κάθε άλλο παρκαρισμένο αυτοκίνητο.
from every other car in the parking lot.
από το ποτήρι κάθε άλλου καλεσμένου.
at the dinner party.
on a bamboo sleeping mat.
να ξαναμαζεψω αυτό το στρώμα.
the bamboo sleeping mat.
σε είδα να το ξετυλίγεις."
I watched you roll it out."
της ντοπαμίνης στον εγκέφαλό του,
of dopamine in his brain,
που μας ενδιαφέρει αποκτά ιδιαίτερο νόημα,
take on special meaning,
Αποκτούμε υπερβολική ενέργεια.
"I felt like jumping in the sky."
Περπατάμε μέχρι το πρωί.
You're walking till dawn.
όταν τα πράγματα πηγαίνουν καλά,
when things are going well;
όταν τα πράγματα πηγαίνουν άσχημα.
when things are going poorly.
που είπε κάποτε, "Ότι της άρεσε, μου άρεσε."
with somebody casually,
με κάποιον περιστασιακά
if they're sleeping with somebody else.
αν έχει και άλλες ευκαιριακές επαφές.
sexually possessive of them.
υπάρχει ένας Δαρβίνειος στόχος σ' αυτό.
purpose to this.
is to pull two people together
αν μεγαλώσουν τα μωρά τους ως ομάδα.
to rear babies as a team.
of romantic love are craving:
ρομαντικής αγάπης είναι ο έντονος πόθος,
to be with a particular person,
να κάνουμε σεξ μαζί του,
να μας καλεί να βγούμε, κλπ.
on the telephone, to invite you out, etc.,
is motivation.
είναι το κίνητρο.
παίρνει στροφές και θέλουμε αυτό το άτομο.
and you want this person.
it is an obsession.
είναι μια έμμονη ιδέα.
από τον τομογράφο, πριν τους περάσω
in the MRI machine,
was always the same.
ήταν πάντα η ίδια.
σκέφτεσαι αυτό το πρόσωπο;"
and night do you think about this person?"
about him or her."
myself up to this question,
για να ρωτήσω αυτή την ερώτηση,
που ζουν κάποια τραυματική εμπειρία.
in any kind of traumatic situation.
"Would you die for him or her?"
of their sweetheart
when it was in that heightened state
σε πολλές περιοχές του εγκεφάλου.
in a lot of brain regions.
ήταν η περιοχή του εγκεφάλου
was a brain region
τη διέγερση της κοκαΐνης.
when you feel the rush of cocaine.
is not an emotion.
ότι η ρομαντική αγάπη δεν είναι συναίσθημα.
ότι ήταν μια σειρά από συναισθήματα
it was a series of emotions,
Προέρχεται από την κινητήρια δύναμη του νου,
the craving part of the mind.
for that piece of chocolate,
να πιάσουμε ένα κομμάτι σοκολάτα,
that promotion at work.
than the sex drive.
από την σεξουαλική ορμή.
to go to bed with you,
ή θα πέσετε σε κλινική κατάθλιψη.
or slip into a clinical depression.
in love will kill for it.
of this powerful brain system.
brain systems on Earth
basically different brain systems
η επιθυμία για σεξουαλική ικανοποίηση.
the craving for sexual gratification.
an "intolerable neural itch,"
μια "ανυπόφορη φαγούρα,"
a little bit, like being hungry.
είναι η ρομαντική αγάπη,
systems is romantic love:
η έμμονη ιδέα της πρώτης αγάπης.
είναι η προσκόληση,
που αισθανόμαστε με τον μόνιμο σύντροφο.
you can feel for a long-term partner.
evolved to get you out there,
driving along in your car.
to enable you to focus your mating energy
the third brain system,
το τρίτο εγκεφαλικό σύστημα,
να ανεχόμαστε το σύντροφό μας - (Γέλια) -
this human being
a child together as a team.
να μεγαλώσουμε τα παιδιά ως ζευγάρι.
the two most profound social trends.
certainly of the last 25 years,
on these three different brain systems:
and deep attachment to a partner.
moving into the workforce.
of the United Nations.
129 out of 130 of them,
into the job market --
but they are moving into the job market --
αλλά κινούνται
that gap between men and women
μεταξύ αντρών και γυναικών
health and education.
την υγεία και την παιδεία.
there's a counter-trend.
but the caravan moves on."
στην αγορά εργασίας.
γιατί αυτό δεν είναι κάτι καινούριο.
because this is not new.
στα λιβάδια της Αφρικής ,
on the grasslands of Africa,
να μαζέψουν τα λαχανικά τους.
to gather their vegetables.
of the evening meal.
ήταν το πρότυπο.
as just as economically,
moving forward to the past.
κινούμαστε εμπρός προς το παρελθόν.
ήταν το αλέτρι.
invention was the plow.
ο ρόλος των αντρών έγινε πολύ ισχυρός.
men's roles became extremely powerful.
τους ως συλλέκτριες,
jobs as collectors,
και τη μετά-βιομηχανική επανάσταση
and the post-industrial revolution
που είχαν εκατομμύρια χρόνια πριν.
that they had a million years ago,
of the most remarkable traditions
on the business community.
and then go on to sex and love.
μεταξύ των δύο φύλων,
that men and women are alike.
και πολλά που δεν είμαστε -
that we do not have in common.
We need each other to get ahead."
to have the same brain.
gender differences in the brain.
and then move on to sex and love.
Οι γυναίκες μπορούν να μιλάνε.
rapidly, basic articulation
τη σωστή λέξη γρήγορα, η σωστή άρθρωση
of the menstrual cycle,
όταν τα οιστρογόνα είναι ανεβασμένα.
they're better than the average man.
οι λέξεις είναι τα εργαλεία των γυναικών.
words were women's tools.
in front of their face,
μπροστά στο πρόσωπό τους,
εκπαιδεύοντάς το με λέξεις.
educating it with words.
σε μια ισχυρή δύναμη.
a very powerful force.
όπως η Ινδία και η Ιαπωνία,
γρήγορα στην κανονική αγορά εργασίας,
into the regular job market,
is like the global campfire.
είναι σαν μια οικουμενική εστία.
και διαμορφώνει τη σκέψη μας.
the producer who calls me,
τηλεόραση, οι παραγωγοί που με καλούν,
είναι γυναίκες.
είναι σα να έχεις μια άλλη κυβέρνηση."
is to have another government."
who are writers in America are women.
many characteristics that women have
negotiating skills.
of imagination, of long-term planning.
of the brain are better connected,
pieces of data when they think,
see more options and outcomes.
holistic thinkers,
as extraneous,
step-by-step thinking pattern.
ways of thinking.
male geniuses in the world.
male idiots in the world.
it works extremely well.
that we're doing is,
a collaborative society,
of both men and women
and valued and employed.
into the job market
on sex and romance and family life.
to express their sexuality.
when people come to me and say,
more men are adulterous than women?"
these men are sleeping with?"
have more partners,
for the partners that they do,
in order to get good ones.
of female sexual expression.
forward to the kind of sexual expression
of Africa a million years ago,
of sexual expression that we see
to an ancient form of marriage equality.
they call the "symmetrical marriage,"
or the "companionate marriage."
with the ancient human spirit.
and 86 percent of American men
who had every single quality
in a study of 37 societies,
with the person that they marry.
on their way off this braid of human life.
might even become more stable
moving into the job market,
the aging world population.
as up to age 85.
age category of 76 to 85,
have nothing really wrong with them.
extension of middle age.
I looked at divorce data in 58 societies.
the less likely you are to divorce.
is stable in America,
as interesting as they are now.
have women been so educated,
really was ever a time in human evolution
good marriages, that time is now.
of complications in this.
-- lust, romantic love and attachment --
fall in love with somebody
of oxytocin and vasopressin --
of cosmic union with somebody
lust, romantic love and attachment,
to a long-term partner
romantic love for somebody else,
unrelated to these other partners.
more than one person at a time.
of attachment for one person
of romantic love for somebody else.
going on in your head
that was built to be happy;
that was built to reproduce.
with each other.
of antidepressants
in the United States.
on these antidepressants,
antidepressants -- since she was 13.
ever since she was 13.
who take them short term,
through something horrible.
or kill somebody else.
in the United States
is raise levels of serotonin.
you suppress the dopamine circuit.
the dopamine circuit,
you kill orgasm.
associated with attachment.
without love is a deadly place.
and sex and attachment for 30 years.
I am interested in why we're all alike.
why the Iraqis and the Japanese
and the people of the Amazon River
Match.com, came to me
a new dating site for them.
about personality. You know?
you've got the right person?"
about why it is that you fall in love
it will be my next book.
with one person rather than another.
Proximity is important.
who's somewhat mysterious,
elevates dopamine in the brain,
over that threshold to fall in love.
what I call your "love map,"
as you grow up.
that you gravitate to certain people,
complementary brain systems.
contributing to this.
a story, to illustrate.
about the biology of love.
about the culture of it, too,
heard it just from one --
I'm at Rutgers and my two colleagues --
in the MRI machine.
in love with another graduate student,
all at a conference in Beijing.
very novel with somebody,
the dopamine in the brain,
system for romantic love.
on a rickshaw ride with him.
all around the buses and the trucks
and it's exciting.
the dopamine,
and squeezing him
off of the rickshaw,
driver handsome!"
that millions of years ago,
embedded in the human brain.
as long as our species survives
"this mortal coil."
(Χειροκρότημα)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Helen Fisher - Anthropologist, expert on loveAnthropologist Helen Fisher studies gender differences and the evolution of human emotions. She’s best known as an expert on romantic love.
Why you should listen
Fisher's several books lay bare the mysteries of our most treasured emotion: its evolution, its biochemical foundations and its vital importance to human society. Fisher describes love as a universal human drive (stronger than the sex drive; stronger than thirst or hunger; stronger perhaps than the will to live), and her many areas of inquiry shed light on timeless human mysteries like why we choose one partner over another. Her classic study, Anatomy of Love, first published in 1992, has just been re-issued in a fully updated edition, including her recent neuroimaging research on lust, romantic love and attachment as well as discussions of sexting, hooking up, friends with benefits, other contemporary trends in courtship and marriage, and a dramatic current trend she calls “slow love.”
Helen Fisher | Speaker | TED.com