TED2006
Helen Fisher: Why we love, why we cheat
海伦.菲舍尔解密爱情与出轨
Filmed:
Readability: 3.6
11,349,614 views
人类学家海伦.菲舍尔为我们带来了一个十分微妙的话题--爱情--她解释了爱情的演变，爱情的生化基础和社会地位。她在结束的时候还告诫我们乱用抗抑郁剂背后隐藏的可怕后果。
Helen Fisher - Anthropologist, expert on love
Anthropologist Helen Fisher studies gender differences and the evolution of human emotions. She’s best known as an expert on romantic love. Full bio
Anthropologist Helen Fisher studies gender differences and the evolution of human emotions. She’s best known as an expert on romantic love. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
我今天要讲俩个下世纪的大趋势
00:25
I'd like to talk today
about the two biggest social trends
about the two biggest social trends
0
301
5198
00:30
in the coming century,
1
5523
1453
00:31
and perhaps in the next 10,000 years.
2
7000
2500
也很有可能是未来10,000年的趋势
但是，我想首先从我对爱情的研究讲起
00:34
But I want to start
with my work on romantic love,
with my work on romantic love,
3
10159
3817
00:38
because that's my most recent work.
4
14000
1865
因为这是我最近的工作。
我和我的同事对32个深陷爱情中的人
00:41
What I and my colleagues did was put
32 people, who were madly in love,
32 people, who were madly in love,
5
16222
4754
00:45
into a functional MRI brain scanner.
6
21000
1976
进行了功能性核磁共振大脑扫描
这些人中的17个人获取了异性的芳心
00:48
17 who were madly in love
and their love was accepted;
and their love was accepted;
7
23368
2849
其他的15个人则刚刚被甩
00:51
and 15 who were madly in love
and they had just been dumped.
and they had just been dumped.
8
26241
2950
所以我想先讲一下这个实验
00:54
And so I want to tell you
about that first,
about that first,
9
30032
2318
然后是我对爱情的理解
00:57
and then go on into where
I think love is going.
I think love is going.
10
32374
2865
01:01
(Laughter)
11
36689
1000
01:03
"What 'tis to love?" Shakespeare said.
12
38483
2976
莎士比亚曾经问道：“爱情是什么？”
我想我们的祖先对这个问题的困惑
01:07
I think our ancestors --
13
42538
1918
01:09
I think human beings have been
wondering about this question
wondering about this question
14
44480
3898
从一百万年前他们围坐在篝火边或者躺着看星星时就开始了
01:13
since they sat around their campfires
15
48402
1776
01:15
or lay and watched
the stars a million years ago.
the stars a million years ago.
16
50202
2691
01:19
I started out by trying to figure out
what romantic love was
what romantic love was
17
54928
3231
为了找到浪漫爱情的内涵
我翻阅了45年来心理学方面的研究成果
01:22
by looking at the last 45 years
of the psychological research
of the psychological research
18
58183
5483
01:28
and as it turns out,
19
63690
1307
发现当人们陷入爱情的时候会发生一些特殊的现象
01:29
there's a very specific group of things
that happen when you fall in love.
that happen when you fall in love.
20
65021
3954
首先会发生的是
01:34
The first thing that happens is,
21
69568
2408
01:36
a person begins to take on
what I call, "special meaning."
what I call, "special meaning."
22
72000
2976
另一个人开始被赋予了“特殊意义”
就像一个卡车司机曾经对我说
01:40
As a truck driver once said to me,
23
75553
1642
我的世界有了一个新的中心，那就是Mary Anne
01:42
"The world had a new center,
and that center was Mary Anne."
and that center was Mary Anne."
24
77219
3781
01:46
George Bernard Shaw said it differently.
25
81801
1960
而萧伯纳用不同的方式表达了同样的意思
他说，爱情中的人会夸大一个女人和另外一个女人的差别
01:48
"Love consists of overestimating
the differences
the differences
26
83785
2468
01:51
between one woman and another."
27
86277
2008
而事实也确实是这样的。（笑声）
01:53
And indeed, that's what we do.
28
88309
2262
01:55
(Laughter)
29
90595
3254
01:58
And then you just focus on this person.
30
93873
2596
然后你就会把全部的关注放在这个人身上
02:01
You can list what you
don't like about them,
don't like about them,
31
96493
2817
虽然你也可以列出你不喜欢他/她的地方
但对缺点马上置之不理，然后全力去爱她/他
02:04
but then you sweep that aside
and focus on what you do.
and focus on what you do.
32
99334
3564
02:07
As Chaucer said, "Love is blind."
33
102922
1999
就像乔叟说的那样，“爱情是盲目的”
02:11
In trying to understand romantic love,
34
106530
2161
为了理解浪漫爱情
02:13
I decided I would read poetry
from all over the world,
from all over the world,
35
108715
2977
我决定阅读来自世界各地的诗歌
02:16
and I just want to give
you one very short poem
you one very short poem
36
111716
2652
现在我想给你们读一首写于八世纪中国的小诗
02:19
from eighth-century China,
37
114392
1247
因为它几近完美的展现了一个男人是怎样全身心的关注一个女人
02:20
because it's an almost perfect example
38
115663
2209
02:22
of a man who is focused totally
on a particular woman.
on a particular woman.
39
117896
3364
就像一个人疯狂的爱上一个人的时候，
02:26
It's a little bit like when you are
madly in love with somebody
madly in love with somebody
40
121824
3040
这个人走进停车场。
02:29
and you walk into a parking lot --
41
124888
1638
他会觉得这个人的车与其他任何车都不一样
02:31
their car is different
from every other car in the parking lot.
from every other car in the parking lot.
42
126550
3380
这个人晚宴上的红酒杯也和其他任何的酒杯不一样
02:34
Their wine glass at dinner
43
129954
1506
02:36
is different from every other wine glass
at the dinner party.
at the dinner party.
44
131484
3492
02:39
And in this case, a man got hooked
on a bamboo sleeping mat.
on a bamboo sleeping mat.
45
135000
3764
在这个故事里，一个男人迷上了一张竹席
这首诗是诗人元稹所写的：
02:44
And it goes like this.
46
139312
1199
02:45
It's by a guy called Yuan Zhen.
47
140535
1491
竹簟衬重茵，未忍都令卷。
02:48
"I cannot bear to put away
the bamboo sleeping mat.
the bamboo sleeping mat.
48
143423
2553
忆昨初来日，看君自施展
02:51
The night I brought you home,
I watched you roll it out."
I watched you roll it out."
49
146637
3005
他之所以迷上一个竹席，
02:55
He became hooked on a sleeping mat,
50
150468
2357
可能跟你我一样，
02:57
probably because of elevated activity
of dopamine in his brain,
of dopamine in his brain,
51
152849
2976
因为头脑里的多巴胺增多而引起的反应
03:00
just like with you and me.
52
155849
1421
但不管怎么说，不仅这个人对你来说有特殊的含义
03:02
But anyway, not only does this person
take on special meaning,
take on special meaning,
53
157294
3165
你会全身心的关注他或她。
03:05
you focus your attention on them.
54
160483
2446
03:07
You aggrandize them.
55
162953
1601
你会对他/她极度的吹捧。而且你的精力旺盛异常
03:09
But you have intense energy.
56
164578
1761
就像一个波利尼亚人说的那样：“我觉得仿佛飞到了空中”
03:11
As one Polynesian said,
"I felt like jumping in the sky."
"I felt like jumping in the sky."
57
166363
3495
你会整晚都睡不着。你会一直走黎明
03:15
You're up all night.
You're walking till dawn.
You're walking till dawn.
58
170406
3197
当事情进展顺利的时候，你会觉得兴高采烈
03:18
You feel intense elation
when things are going well;
when things are going well;
59
173627
2959
当事情不顺利的时候，你又会陷入极度的失望和恐慌。
03:21
mood swings into horrible despair
when things are going poorly.
when things are going poorly.
60
176610
3549
你完全依赖于这个人了
03:24
Real dependence on this person.
61
180183
2454
就像一个纽约的商人对我说的， “她喜欢的任何东西我都喜欢”
03:27
As one businessman in New York said to me,
62
182661
2399
03:29
"Anything she liked, I liked."
63
185084
1861
简单，爱情就是那么简单。
03:32
Simple. Romantic love is very simple.
64
187524
1961
03:35
You become extremely sexually possessive.
65
190793
2183
你会对性有极强的占有欲。
03:37
You know, if you're just sleeping
with somebody casually,
with somebody casually,
66
193000
2731
你知道，如果你只是随随便便和一个人上床，
03:40
you don't really care
if they're sleeping with somebody else.
if they're sleeping with somebody else.
67
195755
2870
你并不会在意他/她是否和其他人上床
但当你陷入爱情的时候
03:43
But the moment you fall in love,
68
198649
1554
你对性会有极强的占有欲
03:45
you become extremely
sexually possessive of them.
sexually possessive of them.
69
200227
2296
我想这种现象是遵循尔达文进化论的，也促进了人类的进化
03:47
I think there's a Darwinian
purpose to this.
purpose to this.
70
202547
3429
03:50
The whole point of this
is to pull two people together
is to pull two people together
71
206000
2633
因为爱情让两个人紧紧绑在了一起，
这种关系牢固到足以让两个人在一起生儿育女
03:53
strongly enough to begin
to rear babies as a team.
to rear babies as a team.
72
208657
3306
03:57
But the main characteristics
of romantic love are craving:
of romantic love are craving:
73
213000
2976
但爱情最重要的特征是渴望
04:00
an intense craving
to be with a particular person,
to be with a particular person,
74
216000
3422
对某一个人，不仅是性上的，还包括感情上的渴望。
04:04
not just sexually, but emotionally.
75
219446
2223
04:06
It would be nice to go to bed with them,
76
221693
3728
当然能和他/她同床共枕是很好的，
但你更期待他/她会给你打电话，约你出去，等等
04:10
but you want them to call you
on the telephone, to invite you out, etc.,
on the telephone, to invite you out, etc.,
77
225445
4232
04:14
to tell you that they love you.
78
229701
1856
希望他告诉你他爱你
04:17
The other main characteristic
is motivation.
is motivation.
79
232460
4722
爱情另外一个主要的特征是动机。
你已经迫不及待的开始行动，你想得到这个人。
04:22
The motor in the brain begins to crank,
and you want this person.
and you want this person.
80
237206
3365
04:25
And last but not least,
it is an obsession.
it is an obsession.
81
241000
2864
爱情的最后一个也是同样重要的特征是痴迷
当我让他们进入核磁共振机之前
04:28
Before I put these people
in the MRI machine,
in the MRI machine,
82
244174
3802
04:32
I would ask them all kinds of questions.
83
248000
1976
我会问他们各种各样的问题
04:34
But my most important question
was always the same.
was always the same.
84
250000
3165
但最重要的问题始终是一个
“你一天之中有多少时间是在想念这个人的？”
04:37
It was: "What percentage of the day
and night do you think about this person?"
and night do you think about this person?"
85
253189
4787
他们会说，“整天整夜。从来没停止过想念”
04:42
And indeed, they would say,
86
258000
1890
04:44
"All day. All night.
87
259914
2157
04:46
I can never stop thinking
about him or her."
about him or her."
88
262095
2341
04:49
And then, the very last question --
89
265000
1810
然后，我会问他们最后一个问题，
04:51
I would always have to work
myself up to this question,
myself up to this question,
90
266834
2599
我经常会想方设法引导他们去回答这个问题
因为我不是一个心理学家
04:54
because I'm not a psychologist.
91
269457
1567
我没法治愈人们心灵的创伤
04:55
I don't work with people
in any kind of traumatic situation.
in any kind of traumatic situation.
92
271048
2976
这个最后的问题也始终是那一个：
04:59
My final question was always the same.
93
274394
1905
“你会为这个人去死吗？”
05:01
I would say,
"Would you die for him or her?"
"Would you die for him or her?"
94
276323
2653
这些人会说“会的！”
05:04
And, indeed, these people would say "Yes!"
95
279465
2071
就好像我请他们把盐递给我那样理所当然
05:06
as if I had asked them to pass the salt.
96
281560
2111
对这样的回答，我感到很震惊。
05:08
I was just staggered by it.
97
283695
2694
05:12
So we scanned their brains,
98
287634
2586
我让他们先看一幅爱人的照片，
05:15
looking at a photograph
of their sweetheart
of their sweetheart
99
290244
2110
05:17
and looking at a neutral photograph,
100
292378
1768
然后再让他们看一幅不相关的照片，并监测了他们大脑的活动
05:18
with a distraction task in between.
101
294170
1834
我们会发现同一个大脑在某一时刻达到最强烈的活动状态
05:20
So we could look at the same brain
when it was in that heightened state
when it was in that heightened state
102
296028
4948
05:25
and when it was in a resting state.
103
301000
2297
又在什么时候处于休息的状态
我们也发现相当多的大脑区域变得活跃
05:28
And we found activity
in a lot of brain regions.
in a lot of brain regions.
104
303869
2271
而事实上我们最关注的一个大脑区域
05:30
In fact, one of the most important
was a brain region
was a brain region
105
306164
2658
是那个让你对可卡因感到渴求的大脑区域
05:33
that becomes active
when you feel the rush of cocaine.
when you feel the rush of cocaine.
106
308846
3208
而这正是人们看到爱人照片时的反应
05:37
And indeed, that's exactly what happens.
107
312657
2343
05:40
I began to realize that romantic love
is not an emotion.
is not an emotion.
108
315650
4619
我开始意识到浪漫爱情并不仅仅是一种情绪
我曾经认为爱情就是一系列的情绪
05:45
In fact, I had always thought
it was a series of emotions,
it was a series of emotions,
109
320293
2856
从非常强烈到非常微弱的
05:47
from very high to very low.
110
323173
1706
05:49
But actually, it's a drive.
111
324903
1706
但事实上，爱情是一种驱动力 它来自于心灵深处的动力
05:51
It comes from the motor of the mind,
112
326633
2135
05:53
the wanting part of the mind,
the craving part of the mind.
the craving part of the mind.
113
328792
3665
来自于我们内心的欲望，一种强烈的愿望
这种动力，
05:57
The kind of part of the mind
114
332481
1495
05:58
when you're reaching
for that piece of chocolate,
for that piece of chocolate,
115
334000
2640
就像你想要得到那一块巧克力一样
就像你想要在工作中获得晋升一样
06:01
when you want to win
that promotion at work.
that promotion at work.
116
336664
3838
它在驱动我们的大脑活动，它是我们的驱动力
06:05
The motor of the brain.
117
340906
1539
06:07
It's a drive.
118
342469
1204
06:08
And in fact, I think it's more powerful
than the sex drive.
than the sex drive.
119
343697
3103
我认为这种动力比性的动力更为的强大
当你问别人是否愿意和你上床，如果这个人说“不”
06:11
You know, if you ask somebody
to go to bed with you,
to go to bed with you,
120
347166
2483
06:14
and they say, "No, thank you,"
121
349673
1437
你肯定不会因为这个自杀或是患上忧郁症
06:15
you certainly don't kill yourself
or slip into a clinical depression.
or slip into a clinical depression.
122
351134
3517
但在全世界范围内，人们如果被爱拒绝，就会为此而轻生
06:19
But certainly, around the world,
123
354675
3193
06:22
people who are rejected
in love will kill for it.
in love will kill for it.
124
357892
3957
人们为爱而生，为爱而杀，为爱而死
06:27
People live for love.
125
362349
1135
06:28
They kill for love.
126
363508
1260
06:29
They die for love.
127
364792
1031
06:31
They have songs, poems, novels,
128
366277
3578
他们为爱创作了歌曲，诗歌，小说，雕塑，画作，神话故事和传奇
06:34
sculptures, paintings, myths, legends.
129
369879
3944
在超过175个社会里，人们都用不同的证据证明了这部分大脑组织是如此强大
06:38
In over 175 societies,
130
373847
2149
06:40
people have left their evidence
of this powerful brain system.
of this powerful brain system.
131
376020
4784
让人们大喜大悲
06:45
I have come to think
132
380828
1023
06:46
it's one of the most powerful
brain systems on Earth
brain systems on Earth
133
381875
2588
所以我认为它是世上最强大的大脑组织
06:49
for both great joy and great sorrow.
134
384487
2577
我认为它是从最初的交配和繁殖
06:52
And I've also come to think
135
387659
1437
06:53
that it's one of three
basically different brain systems
basically different brain systems
136
389121
3482
发展而来的最基本的三种不同的大脑组织。
06:57
that evolved from mating and reproduction.
137
392628
2047
其中一种是性欲：对性的一种渴望。
06:59
One is the sex drive:
the craving for sexual gratification.
the craving for sexual gratification.
138
395072
3055
07:03
W.H. Auden called it
an "intolerable neural itch,"
an "intolerable neural itch,"
139
398555
3421
W.H.Auden称之为：不能忍受的神经性冲动
07:06
and indeed, that's what it is.
140
402000
1975
确实，它就是那样的。
它总是不停的烦扰着你，就像饥饿一样。
07:09
It keeps bothering you
a little bit, like being hungry.
a little bit, like being hungry.
141
405142
2580
第二个就是浪漫的爱情：
07:13
The second of these three brain
systems is romantic love:
systems is romantic love:
142
408904
2946
07:16
that elation, obsession of early love.
143
411874
2102
那种让人欢欣鼓舞，使人痴迷的情窦初开。
07:18
And the third brain system is attachment:
144
414000
2356
那第三种就是依赖
那是一种从长期伴侣那里才能体会到的宁静和安全。
07:21
that sense of calm and security
you can feel for a long-term partner.
you can feel for a long-term partner.
145
416380
3953
07:25
And I think that the sex drive
evolved to get you out there,
evolved to get you out there,
146
420698
2812
我认为就是对性的渴望使你
走出去从人群中寻找伴侣
07:28
looking for a whole range of partners.
147
423534
2555
你知道，在你开车的时候你可以感觉到它
07:30
You can feel it when you're just
driving along in your car.
driving along in your car.
148
426113
2785
它会使人魂不守舍
07:33
It can be focused on nobody.
149
428922
1372
而浪漫爱情会使你专注
07:35
I think romantic love evolved
to enable you to focus your mating energy
to enable you to focus your mating energy
150
430318
3658
07:38
on just one individual at a time,
151
434000
1976
只与一个人发生关系
07:40
thereby conserving mating time and energy.
152
436000
2832
因此你储蓄着交配的能量，等待着时机
07:43
And I think that attachment,
the third brain system,
the third brain system,
153
438856
2730
而第三种大脑系统：依赖
则发展成使你能够对他/她很忍耐（笑声）。
07:46
evolved to enable you to tolerate
this human being
this human being
154
441610
3542
07:49
at least long enough to raise
a child together as a team.
a child together as a team.
155
445176
4053
这种宽容至少可以帮你撑过抚养小孩的这段时间。
07:55
So with that preamble,
156
451000
1498
开场白之后，我要讨论两个最显著的社会趋势。
07:57
I want to go into discussing
the two most profound social trends.
the two most profound social trends.
157
452522
6031
08:03
One of the last 10,000 years
158
459000
2283
其中一个产生于10000年前，另一个则是25年前，
08:06
and the other,
certainly of the last 25 years,
certainly of the last 25 years,
159
461307
4697
这两种趋势都对性欲，爱情，和依赖
08:10
that are going to have an impact
on these three different brain systems:
on these three different brain systems:
160
466028
4252
这三种不同的脑系统产生过影响。
08:15
lust, romantic love
and deep attachment to a partner.
and deep attachment to a partner.
161
470304
3553
第一个阶段就是女人开始工作，成为劳动力的一部分。
08:19
The first is women working,
moving into the workforce.
moving into the workforce.
162
474262
4461
我查过联合国的世界人口统计年鉴中的130-150个国家
08:26
I've looked at 130 societies
163
481333
2891
08:29
through the demographic yearbooks
of the United Nations.
of the United Nations.
164
484248
2641
发现130个中有129个国家的女性在进入劳动市场
08:31
Everywhere in the world,
129 out of 130 of them,
129 out of 130 of them,
165
486913
4732
08:36
women are not only moving
into the job market --
into the job market --
166
491669
2307
08:38
sometimes very, very slowly,
but they are moving into the job market --
but they are moving into the job market --
167
494000
3976
过程可能比较缓慢的，但这个趋势确定无疑
08:42
and they are very slowly closing
that gap between men and women
that gap between men and women
168
498000
3854
男性与女性之间
08:46
in terms of economic power,
health and education.
health and education.
169
501878
3797
经济能力，健康和教育方面的距离正在缩小
这个过程同样非常缓慢
08:50
It's very slow.
170
505699
1136
08:51
For every trend on this planet,
there's a counter-trend.
there's a counter-trend.
171
506859
3117
对于地球上出现的每种趋势，总会伴随着一种阻力
08:54
We all know of them, but nevertheless --
172
510000
2313
对此，我们都很了解，但就像古老的阿拉伯谚语
08:57
the Arabs say, "The dogs may bark,
but the caravan moves on."
but the caravan moves on."
173
512337
6396
所说的：“狗会叫吠，但是车队仍在前行。”
事实上也的确如此，这一趋势滚滚向前。
09:03
And, indeed, that caravan is moving on.
174
518757
2327
女性正在重返劳动市场。
09:05
Women are moving back into the job market.
175
521108
2687
我之所以说是重返，因为女性劳动这事并不新鲜。
09:08
And I say back into the job market,
because this is not new.
because this is not new.
176
523819
3157
在百万年以来的非洲大地上，
09:12
For millions of years,
on the grasslands of Africa,
on the grasslands of Africa,
177
527323
3666
女性每天往返于牧场种植收割蔬菜。
09:15
women commuted to work
to gather their vegetables.
to gather their vegetables.
178
531013
3150
她们带着60-80%的晚餐回到家
09:18
They came home with 60 to 80 percent
of the evening meal.
of the evening meal.
179
534187
3660
09:22
The double income family was the standard.
180
537871
2888
双人收入的家庭才是标准家庭
09:25
And women were regarded
as just as economically,
as just as economically,
181
540783
3430
同时，女性也拥有同男性一样的经济能力，社会能力和选择伴侣的权力
09:29
socially and sexually powerful as men.
182
544237
3739
09:32
In short, we're really
moving forward to the past.
moving forward to the past.
183
548000
3803
简而言之，我们是返璞归真了
然而，女性最差的发明就是犁
09:37
Then, women's worst
invention was the plow.
invention was the plow.
184
552223
5293
随着犁耕农业社会的开始，男性的所扮演的角色变得出奇的强势
09:42
With the beginning of plow agriculture,
men's roles became extremely powerful.
men's roles became extremely powerful.
185
557540
3674
女性失去了其作为收割者原始的工作
09:46
Women lost their ancient
jobs as collectors,
jobs as collectors,
186
561238
4436
但是随着工业革命和后工业革命的产生
09:50
but then with the industrial revolution
and the post-industrial revolution
and the post-industrial revolution
187
565698
3679
女性开始重返劳动市场
09:54
they're moving back into the job market.
188
569401
1943
简而言之，她们正在获得在百万年前就拥的社会地位和身份
09:56
In short, they are acquiring the status
that they had a million years ago,
that they had a million years ago,
189
571368
5127
甚至早在10000年甚至100000年前就曾拥有过
10:01
10,000 years ago, 100,000 years ago.
190
576519
3224
10:04
We are seeing now one
of the most remarkable traditions
of the most remarkable traditions
191
579767
4571
我们现在看到的是人类历史上最具标志性的传统之一
10:09
in the history of the human animal.
192
584362
2333
而且这个传统正在产生影响
10:13
And it's going to have an impact.
193
588666
1596
通常，我的整个讲演都可以围绕女性对经济领域的影响，
10:15
I generally give a whole lecture
194
590286
1533
10:16
on the impact of women
on the business community.
on the business community.
195
591843
2304
这次我只会举其中几件事来讲，接下来讲爱情和性的部分
10:18
I'll say just a couple of things,
and then go on to sex and love.
and then go on to sex and love.
196
594171
3057
男性与女性之间存在很多的差异
10:22
There's a lot of gender differences;
197
597252
1857
那那些认为男人和女人很相似的人肯定没有同时抚养过儿子和女儿
10:23
anybody who thinks men and women are alike
198
599133
2176
10:26
simply never had a boy and a girl child.
199
601333
1942
我不知道为什么他们会认为男人和女人是一样的
10:28
I don't know why they want to think
that men and women are alike.
that men and women are alike.
200
603299
3193
男人和女人是有很多相同的地方，但是
10:31
There's much we have in common,
201
606516
1523
10:32
but there's a whole lot
that we do not have in common.
that we do not have in common.
202
608063
2913
也有很多不同
10:35
We are -- in the words of Ted Hughes,
203
611000
1976
正如Ted Hughs 所言，
10:37
"I think that we are like two feet.
We need each other to get ahead."
We need each other to get ahead."
204
613000
5104
“我们就像人的两只脚一样，需要彼此配合才能继续前行。”
但我们的大脑并没有进化成一样的构造
10:42
But we did not evolve
to have the same brain.
to have the same brain.
205
618128
2848
10:45
And we're finding more and more
gender differences in the brain.
gender differences in the brain.
206
621000
3449
而且现在正发现越来越多在思想上的差异
我只讲其中几点，然后就将进入到性和爱情的部分
10:49
I'll only just use a couple
and then move on to sex and love.
and then move on to sex and love.
207
624473
3127
10:52
One of them is women's verbal ability.
208
627624
2107
其中一个是女性的语言能力。女人是聊天高手
10:54
Women can talk.
209
629755
1221
10:55
Women's ability to find the right word
rapidly, basic articulation
rapidly, basic articulation
210
631000
3976
女性可以迅速找到正确的词汇，最清楚的说明事情
10:59
goes up in the middle
of the menstrual cycle,
of the menstrual cycle,
211
635000
2378
这种能力在月经周期中间雌性激素达到顶峰时提高
11:02
when estrogen levels peak.
212
637402
1571
但是就算是在月经的时候，她们的表现都比普通男性好
11:03
But even at menstruation,
they're better than the average man.
they're better than the average man.
213
638997
3618
女性擅于交谈
11:07
Women can talk.
214
643099
1048
她们早在百万年前就如此，语言是她们的工具
11:09
They've been doing it for a million years;
words were women's tools.
words were women's tools.
215
644655
3321
11:12
They held that baby
in front of their face,
in front of their face,
216
648000
2087
她们面对面的抚养教育小孩
她们用语言哄小孩，骂小孩，教育小孩
11:14
cajoling it, reprimanding it,
educating it with words.
educating it with words.
217
650111
3809
然而，女性正在成为一股强大的力量
11:18
And, indeed, they're becoming
a very powerful force.
a very powerful force.
218
653944
3032
11:21
Even in places like India and Japan,
219
657000
5237
甚至在一些女性进入普通劳动市场
较慢的国家如印度和日本
11:27
where women are not moving rapidly
into the regular job market,
into the regular job market,
220
662261
3397
11:30
they're moving into journalism.
221
665682
1833
女性也进入到了新闻行业
11:32
And I think that the television
is like the global campfire.
is like the global campfire.
222
667539
4437
我认为电视就像一个全球的篝火晚会
11:36
We sit around it and it shapes our minds.
223
672000
3976
我们围着它，同时它也在影响着我们的思想
11:40
Almost always, when I'm on TV,
the producer who calls me,
the producer who calls me,
224
676000
4084
每每在我录制节目时，那些给我打电话商量谈话内容的
制片人几乎都是女性
11:44
who negotiates what we're going to say,
225
680108
2143
11:47
is a woman.
226
682275
1055
事实上，Solzhenitsyn曾经说过，
11:48
In fact, Solzhenitsyn once said,
227
683354
2658
“拥有一个伟大的作家就像拥有了另一个政府”
11:50
"To have a great writer
is to have another government."
is to have another government."
228
686036
3154
如今在美国54%的作家都是女性
11:54
Today 54 percent of people
who are writers in America are women.
who are writers in America are women.
229
689682
4587
这只是女性拥有的众多特性中的一个
11:59
It's one of many,
many characteristics that women have
many characteristics that women have
230
695158
2673
这些特点帮助她们进入到劳动市场
12:02
that they will bring into the job market.
231
697855
2280
女人拥有非凡的人际技巧和谈判技巧
12:04
They've got incredible people skills,
negotiating skills.
negotiating skills.
232
700159
4127
有着丰富的想象力
12:09
They're highly imaginative.
233
704310
1666
12:10
We now know the brain circuitry
of imagination, of long-term planning.
of imagination, of long-term planning.
234
706000
4579
想象力和长远计划形成的大脑路线
她们是思路缜密的思考者
12:15
They tend to be web thinkers.
235
710603
2120
12:17
Because the female parts
of the brain are better connected,
of the brain are better connected,
236
712747
2785
因为女性大脑各部分联系的更好
在她们思考的时候，能收集更多的数据
12:20
they tend to collect more
pieces of data when they think,
pieces of data when they think,
237
715556
3174
组合成更加的复杂的形式，看到更多选择和结果
12:23
put them into more complex patterns,
see more options and outcomes.
see more options and outcomes.
238
718754
4703
她们能进行条理清楚、整体性的思考，称为网络思考者
12:28
They tend to be contextual,
holistic thinkers,
holistic thinkers,
239
723481
3706
12:32
what I call web thinkers.
240
727211
1540
12:33
Men tend to -- and these are averages --
241
728775
2005
而男人会剔除他们认为不相关的事
12:35
tend to get rid of what they regard
as extraneous,
as extraneous,
242
730804
2659
只专注于他们正在做的事情，思考方式偏向于按部就班式
12:38
focus on what they do,
243
733487
1385
12:39
and move in a more
step-by-step thinking pattern.
step-by-step thinking pattern.
244
734896
5926
这两种思考方式都很好
12:45
They're both perfectly good
ways of thinking.
ways of thinking.
245
741171
2102
我们需要他们共同发展
12:48
We need both of them to get ahead.
246
743297
2232
12:50
In fact, there's many more
male geniuses in the world.
male geniuses in the world.
247
745553
3423
事实上，在这个世界上，男性天才还是偏多的
12:53
And there's also many more
male idiots in the world.
male idiots in the world.
248
749000
2721
但是，世界上的白痴也是男性偏多的（笑声）
12:56
(Laughter)
249
751745
1726
当男性的大脑运行好的时候，可以非常的好
12:58
When the male brain works well,
it works extremely well.
it works extremely well.
250
753495
3182
我认为我们正在努力地建立一个合作型社会
13:01
And what I really think
that we're doing is,
that we're doing is,
251
756701
3334
13:04
we're moving towards
a collaborative society,
a collaborative society,
252
760059
2286
一个逐渐认同男性和女性才能的社会
13:07
a society in which the talents
of both men and women
of both men and women
253
762369
2802
13:09
are becoming understood
and valued and employed.
and valued and employed.
254
765195
3781
并且给予重视和利用
13:13
But in fact, women moving
into the job market
into the job market
255
769000
2763
实际上，女性进入到劳动市场
13:16
is having a huge impact
on sex and romance and family life.
on sex and romance and family life.
256
771787
5110
对性，爱情和家庭生活方面都有重大影响
最明显的，女性开始表现出他们的性欲
13:22
Foremost, women are starting
to express their sexuality.
to express their sexuality.
257
777608
5084
13:27
I'm always astonished
when people come to me and say,
when people come to me and say,
258
782716
2626
我总是很惊讶每当人们这样问我：
“为什么男性总是那么的花心？”
13:30
"Why is it that men are so adulterous?"
259
785366
2318
我就说“你怎么就认定是男性比女性花心呢？”
13:32
"Why do you think
more men are adulterous than women?"
more men are adulterous than women?"
260
787708
2713
“显然啊，男性就是比较花心！”
13:35
"Well, men are more adulterous!"
261
790445
1571
我问他们，“那这些男人是和在什么人上床呢？”
13:36
And I say, "Who do you think
these men are sleeping with?"
these men are sleeping with?"
262
792040
2938
结果显而易见吧（笑声）
13:39
(Laughter)
263
795002
1404
13:41
And -- basic math!
264
796430
1728
不管怎样，
13:42
Anyway.
265
798182
1174
在西方世界
13:44
In the Western world,
266
799380
3596
13:47
women start sooner at sex,
have more partners,
have more partners,
267
803000
2976
女性性成熟较早，她们拥有过更多的性伴侣
13:50
express less remorse
for the partners that they do,
for the partners that they do,
268
806000
2885
且并不会因为自己的“博爱”而自责
13:53
marry later, have fewer children,
269
808909
2682
她们结婚更晚，小孩较少，为了寻找更好的婚姻而离婚
13:56
leave bad marriages
in order to get good ones.
in order to get good ones.
270
811615
2905
13:59
We are seeing the rise
of female sexual expression.
of female sexual expression.
271
814544
3979
女性有了更多对性的表达和诉求
的确，我们在性表达上再一次
14:03
And, indeed, once again we're moving
forward to the kind of sexual expression
forward to the kind of sexual expression
272
818547
4721
回到了百万年前非洲大地上的情景
14:08
that we probably saw on the grasslands
of Africa a million years ago,
of Africa a million years ago,
273
823292
3684
14:11
because this is the kind
of sexual expression that we see
of sexual expression that we see
274
827000
2976
因为这就是以打猎和采摘为生活方式的
14:14
in hunting and gathering societies today.
275
830000
2258
社会具有的性表达
14:17
We're also returning
to an ancient form of marriage equality.
to an ancient form of marriage equality.
276
832865
3976
我们婚姻的平等状况也正恢复原古时代
有个说法就是，21世纪
14:22
They're now saying that the 21st century
277
837420
4556
14:26
is going to be the century of what
they call the "symmetrical marriage,"
they call the "symmetrical marriage,"
278
842000
3976
的婚姻可以被称为“对等婚姻”
14:30
or the "pure marriage,"
or the "companionate marriage."
or the "companionate marriage."
279
846000
5384
“纯洁的婚姻”也可以称为“彼此不承担法律义务的婚姻”
一种在平等主体间建立的婚姻
14:36
This is a marriage between equals,
280
851408
3568
14:39
moving forward to a pattern
281
855000
2443
回到了和远古时代人类精神高度一致的形式
14:42
that is highly compatible
with the ancient human spirit.
with the ancient human spirit.
282
857467
3134
14:46
We're also seeing a rise of romantic love.
283
861775
2539
我们也看到了人们对浪漫爱情的追求
14:49
91 percent of American women
and 86 percent of American men
and 86 percent of American men
284
864786
4226
美国91%的女性和86%的男性
并不会因为对方具有自己心中的所有品质而结婚
14:53
would not marry somebody
who had every single quality
who had every single quality
285
869036
4603
14:58
they were looking for in a partner,
286
873663
1816
如果他/她们不爱对方
15:00
if they were not in love with that person.
287
875503
2763
对37个国家的研究发现，世界各地的人们
15:03
People around the world,
in a study of 37 societies,
in a study of 37 societies,
288
878290
3519
只希望与他们所爱的人结婚
15:06
want to be in love
with the person that they marry.
with the person that they marry.
289
881833
3637
的确，包办婚姻已经开始淡出历史的舞台
15:10
Indeed, arranged marriages are
on their way off this braid of human life.
on their way off this braid of human life.
290
885946
6054
15:20
I even think that marriages
might even become more stable
might even become more stable
291
895618
2794
我认为婚姻应该变得更加的稳定
因为我们正面临着第二个巨大趋势
15:23
because of the second great world trend.
292
898436
3754
第一个就是女性进入劳动力市场
15:27
The first one being women
moving into the job market,
moving into the job market,
293
902214
2762
15:29
the second one being
the aging world population.
the aging world population.
294
905000
2850
第二个就是人口老龄化
15:32
They're now saying that in America,
295
907874
2427
如今在美国
85岁才能被称为中年
15:35
that middle age should be regarded
as up to age 85.
as up to age 85.
296
910325
3651
因为，在76到85岁的这个年龄段
15:39
Because in that highest
age category of 76 to 85,
age category of 76 to 85,
297
914642
4879
40%的人们健康是没有任何问题的
15:44
as much as 40 percent of people
have nothing really wrong with them.
have nothing really wrong with them.
298
919545
3431
15:47
So we're seeing there's a real
extension of middle age.
extension of middle age.
299
923000
3382
所以，我们看到了中年阶层队伍的扩大
15:51
For one of my books,
I looked at divorce data in 58 societies.
I looked at divorce data in 58 societies.
300
926714
5262
我自己的一本书里面有58个国家的离婚率统计
15:56
And as it turns out, the older you get,
the less likely you are to divorce.
the less likely you are to divorce.
301
932000
4231
你可以发现，随着年纪的增大，离婚率也随着降低
所以现在美国的离婚率是稳定的
16:01
So the divorce rate right now
is stable in America,
is stable in America,
302
936596
3601
实际上正在逐渐的降低
16:05
and it's actually beginning to decline.
303
940221
2334
16:07
It may decline some more.
304
942579
1602
未来还会继续下降
而且随着“伟哥”，“雌性激素更新”，“臀部改造”等技术的出现
16:11
I would even say that with Viagra,
305
947133
3999
16:15
estrogen replacement, hip replacements
306
951156
3815
女性也变得越来越有魅力
16:19
and the incredibly interesting women
307
954995
1981
16:21
-- women have never been
as interesting as they are now.
as interesting as they are now.
308
957000
3105
女性从未像现在这样有吸引力
没有哪个时期的女性像今天这样如此的有教养，有魅力和有能力
16:24
Not at any time on this planet
have women been so educated,
have women been so educated,
309
960129
3458
16:28
so interesting, so capable.
310
963611
1947
所以我非常确信，在人类进化的历史上
16:30
And so I honestly think that if there
really was ever a time in human evolution
really was ever a time in human evolution
311
965962
5379
最有条件创造完美婚姻的时机，就是现在！
16:36
when we have the opportunity to make
good marriages, that time is now.
good marriages, that time is now.
312
971365
3865
16:41
However, there's always kinds
of complications in this.
of complications in this.
313
976516
3201
然而，这个过程还是存在着很多复杂问题
在这三个大脑系统中性，浪漫爱情，和依赖
16:44
These three brain systems
-- lust, romantic love and attachment --
-- lust, romantic love and attachment --
314
979741
4717
并不总是结合在一起的
16:49
don't always go together.
315
984482
1354
顺便说一下，它们是可以同时存在的
16:50
They can go together, by the way.
316
985860
1699
这就是为什么偶然的性爱也不是那么的随便的
16:52
That's why casual sex isn't so casual.
317
987583
1952
随着性高潮的到来，你的身体会释放多巴胺
16:54
With orgasm you get a spike of dopamine.
318
989559
2269
多巴胺是和浪漫爱情联系在一起的
16:56
Dopamine's associated with romantic love,
319
991852
2096
你会爱上那个刚刚和你“一夜情”的人
16:58
and you can just
fall in love with somebody
fall in love with somebody
320
993972
2023
17:00
who you're just having casual sex with.
321
996019
1863
同时伴随性高潮，身体还会产生“后叶催产素”和“后叶加压素”
17:02
With orgasm, then you get a real rush
of oxytocin and vasopressin --
of oxytocin and vasopressin --
322
997906
3436
这些都是与“依赖”相关的激素
17:06
those are associated with attachment.
323
1001366
2031
这就是为什么你与别人发生关系之后，你会感觉到
17:08
This is why you can feel such a sense
of cosmic union with somebody
of cosmic union with somebody
324
1003421
3959
自己和他/她紧紧的联系在一起
17:12
after you've made love to them.
325
1007404
1849
但是这三个情感系统
17:14
But these three brain systems:
lust, romantic love and attachment,
lust, romantic love and attachment,
326
1009277
4699
17:18
aren't always connected to each other.
327
1014000
2481
并不总会绑在一起
17:21
You can feel deep attachment
to a long-term partner
to a long-term partner
328
1017000
3251
你对相处了很久的一个伴侣有很深的依赖和责任感
同时你又强烈的爱着另外的人
17:25
while you feel intense
romantic love for somebody else,
romantic love for somebody else,
329
1020275
4092
同时你可能对第三个人产生性欲
17:29
while you feel the sex drive for people
unrelated to these other partners.
unrelated to these other partners.
330
1024391
5453
简单的说，我们能在同一时间爱很多人
17:35
In short, we're capable of loving
more than one person at a time.
more than one person at a time.
331
1030312
5029
事实上，当我们晚上躺在床上时
17:40
In fact, you can lie in bed at night
332
1035714
1992
我们可以想着对某人的依赖感
17:42
and swing from deep feelings
of attachment for one person
of attachment for one person
333
1037730
3246
17:45
to deep feelings
of romantic love for somebody else.
of romantic love for somebody else.
334
1041000
3432
再感受着与某人的浪漫爱情
在你头脑中仿佛在开一个小组会议
17:49
It's as if there's a committee meeting
going on in your head
going on in your head
335
1044456
2881
因为你需要做一个选择
17:52
as you are trying to decide what to do.
336
1047361
3127
所以我认为，人类并不是一个被创造出来享受快乐的物种
17:55
So I don't think, honestly,
337
1050512
1635
17:56
we're an animal
that was built to be happy;
that was built to be happy;
338
1052171
2015
我们是一种被创造出来繁衍后代的物种
17:59
we are an animal
that was built to reproduce.
that was built to reproduce.
339
1054210
2268
我认为幸福是我们发现，我们创造的
18:01
I think the happiness we find, we make.
340
1056502
2935
18:04
And I think, however,
341
1059461
3482
我们可以和每个人建立良好的关系
18:07
we can make good relationships
with each other.
with each other.
342
1062967
2667
18:10
So I want to conclude with two things.
343
1066000
2105
所以我想以两件事来做总结
一件是让我担忧的事
18:12
I want to conclude with a worry,
344
1068129
2047
我有一个担忧，和一个精彩的故事
18:15
and with a wonderful story.
345
1070200
2929
我的担忧是关于抗抑郁药的
18:19
The worry is about antidepressants.
346
1074287
2689
美国每年会开出超过一亿份抗抑郁处方
18:23
Over 100 million prescriptions
of antidepressants
of antidepressants
347
1078631
5132
18:28
are written every year
in the United States.
in the United States.
348
1083787
2821
这些药物正变得很普遍
18:31
And these drugs are going generic.
349
1087100
2565
18:34
They are seeping around the world.
350
1089689
2483
它们渗入到世界各地
我认识一个女孩从她13岁开始就在服用抗抑郁药
18:37
I know one girl who's been
on these antidepressants,
on these antidepressants,
351
1092743
5233
18:42
SSRIs, serotonin-enhancing
antidepressants -- since she was 13.
antidepressants -- since she was 13.
352
1098000
3976
一种用于提升血清素的抗抑郁药物
18:46
She's 23. She's been on them
ever since she was 13.
ever since she was 13.
353
1102000
2976
今年她23岁，她从13岁就开始服用这种药
18:49
I've got nothing against people
who take them short term,
who take them short term,
354
1105000
3516
我不反对那些在短期内因为遇到非常
18:53
when they're going
through something horrible.
through something horrible.
355
1108540
2223
烦恼的事情而服用抗抑郁药的人
18:55
They want to commit suicide
or kill somebody else.
or kill somebody else.
356
1110787
2355
对那些想要自杀或者杀人的患者
我是建议他们服用的
18:57
I would recommend it.
357
1113166
1068
但是越来越多的美国人开始长时期的服用抑郁药
18:59
But more and more people
in the United States
in the United States
358
1114258
2459
19:01
are taking them long term.
359
1116741
2384
这些药物的作用是提高“血清素”的含量
19:03
And indeed, what these drugs do
is raise levels of serotonin.
is raise levels of serotonin.
360
1119149
5365
随着血清素含量的上升，抑制了多巴胺的循环
19:09
And by raising levels of serotonin,
you suppress the dopamine circuit.
you suppress the dopamine circuit.
361
1124974
4821
19:14
Everybody knows that.
362
1129819
1562
每个人都知道
19:16
Dopamine is associated with romantic love.
363
1131944
2895
多巴胺是与浪漫爱情联系的
19:21
Not only do they suppress
the dopamine circuit,
the dopamine circuit,
364
1136627
3150
抗抑郁药不仅抑制了多巴胺的产生，也使性欲下降
19:24
but they kill the sex drive.
365
1139801
1867
当你的性欲下降时，你将失去性高潮
19:27
And when you kill the sex drive,
you kill orgasm.
you kill orgasm.
366
1142316
3824
一旦失去性高潮，那些让你产生依赖感的激素就被遏制
19:30
And when you kill orgasm,
367
1146164
1191
19:32
you kill that flood of drugs
associated with attachment.
associated with attachment.
368
1147379
3867
神经系统在大脑里都是相互关联的
19:36
The things are connected in the brain.
369
1151712
2264
19:38
And when you tamper with one brain system,
370
1154000
2656
其中一个大脑系统被破坏的时侯
另一个系统也将紊乱
19:41
you're going to tamper with another.
371
1156680
1945
19:43
I'm just simply saying that a world
without love is a deadly place.
without love is a deadly place.
372
1159000
4754
我只想说一个没有的爱的世界是没有生机的
19:49
So now --
373
1164738
1002
所以（鼓掌）谢谢
19:50
(Applause)
374
1165764
4212
19:54
Thank you.
375
1170000
1703
我想以一个故事来结束，然后就是一句评价
19:56
I want to end with a story.
376
1171727
1485
19:58
And then, just a comment.
377
1173839
1300
我对爱情，性和依赖的研究已经有30年了
20:01
I've been studying romantic love
and sex and attachment for 30 years.
and sex and attachment for 30 years.
378
1176741
4779
我是双胞胎，对为什么我们如此的相像很感兴趣
20:08
I'm an identical twin;
I am interested in why we're all alike.
I am interested in why we're all alike.
379
1183774
3516
为什么你和我很像，为什么伊拉克人，日本人
20:12
Why you and I are alike,
why the Iraqis and the Japanese
why the Iraqis and the Japanese
380
1187925
3051
20:15
and the Australian Aborigines
and the people of the Amazon River
and the people of the Amazon River
381
1191000
3000
澳大利亚土著人，和亚马孙河流域的人都是那么像
20:18
are all alike.
382
1194024
1000
20:20
And about a year ago,
383
1195777
2309
大约一年前，一个网络婚介服务公司Match.com找到我
20:22
an Internet dating service,
Match.com, came to me
Match.com, came to me
384
1198110
2985
想让我为他们设计一个新的约会站点
20:25
and asked me if I would design
a new dating site for them.
a new dating site for them.
385
1201119
3652
20:29
I said, "I don't know anything
about personality. You know?
about personality. You know?
386
1204795
2802
我说：“我对性格一点都不了解，你知道吗？”
20:32
I don't know. Do you think
you've got the right person?"
you've got the right person?"
387
1207621
2720
我不确定你是否找对了人
他们回答：“是的”
20:35
They said, "Yes."
388
1210365
1040
这让我开始思考，为什么你会爱上某一个人而不是另外的人
20:36
It got me thinking
about why it is that you fall in love
about why it is that you fall in love
389
1211429
3023
20:39
with one person rather than another.
390
1214476
1732
这是我目前正在研究的课题，也是我下本书的内容
20:41
That's my current project;
it will be my next book.
it will be my next book.
391
1216232
3443
你出于各种理由爱上某个人
20:45
There's all kinds of reasons
392
1220262
1539
20:46
that you fall in love
with one person rather than another.
with one person rather than another.
393
1221825
2753
时机很重要，距离也很重要
20:49
Timing is important.
Proximity is important.
Proximity is important.
394
1224602
3286
神秘感很重要。你可能由于某个人很神秘而爱上他
20:52
Mystery is important.
395
1227912
1380
20:54
You fall in love with somebody
who's somewhat mysterious,
who's somewhat mysterious,
396
1229316
2729
因为神秘感可以使你脑中的多巴胺上升
20:56
in part because mystery
elevates dopamine in the brain,
elevates dopamine in the brain,
397
1232069
2678
让你越过那道闸门而坠入爱河
20:59
probably pushes you
over that threshold to fall in love.
over that threshold to fall in love.
398
1234771
2766
你爱上那些正好符合你“爱情地图”的人
21:02
You fall in love with somebody
399
1237561
1429
21:03
who fits within
what I call your "love map,"
what I call your "love map,"
400
1239014
2095
他符合你在童年时期潜意识里设定的择偶清单
21:05
an unconscious list of traits
401
1241133
2147
21:08
that you build in childhood
as you grow up.
as you grow up.
402
1243304
2314
我还认为，你将会被
21:10
And I also think
that you gravitate to certain people,
that you gravitate to certain people,
403
1245642
3042
那些和你有互补特质的人所吸引
21:13
actually, with somewhat
complementary brain systems.
complementary brain systems.
404
1248708
3268
21:16
And that's what I'm now
contributing to this.
contributing to this.
405
1252000
2287
这就是我现在正在努力研究的课题
但是我想告诉你一个故事来说明这个问题
21:19
But I want to tell you
a story, to illustrate.
a story, to illustrate.
406
1254311
3665
21:22
I've been carrying on here
about the biology of love.
about the biology of love.
407
1258000
2976
我在这儿谈论的是爱情的生理基础
我想再告诉你们关于文化的一些东西
21:26
I wanted to show you a little bit
about the culture of it, too,
about the culture of it, too,
408
1261709
3687
关于爱情的魔力
21:30
the magic of it.
409
1265420
1167
21:32
It's a story that was told to me
410
1268000
3349
这是一个听别人转述的故事
21:36
by somebody who had
heard it just from one --
heard it just from one --
411
1271373
2461
应该是一个真实的故事
21:38
probably a true story.
412
1273858
1118
是关于一个研究生的，我是Rutgers的，我的两个同事
21:41
It was a graduate student --
I'm at Rutgers and my two colleagues --
I'm at Rutgers and my two colleagues --
413
1276508
3468
21:44
Art Aron is at SUNY Stony Brook.
414
1280000
1976
Art Aaron 是 SUNY Stonybrook的
21:46
That's where we put our people
in the MRI machine.
in the MRI machine.
415
1282000
2371
就是我们为那些人做核磁共振扫描的地方
21:49
And this graduate student was madly
in love with another graduate student,
in love with another graduate student,
416
1285000
4563
这个研究生疯狂的爱上了另外一个研究生
但是那个女生并不爱他
21:54
and she was not in love with him.
417
1289587
2373
后来他们一起去参加一个在北京的研讨会
21:58
And they were
all at a conference in Beijing.
all at a conference in Beijing.
418
1293206
2255
他从我们的工作中得知，如果你与某人一起做一些非常新鲜的事，
22:01
And he knew from our work
419
1296485
3034
22:04
that if you go and do something
very novel with somebody,
very novel with somebody,
420
1299543
4408
可以使那人脑中的多巴胺值上升
22:08
you can drive up
the dopamine in the brain,
the dopamine in the brain,
421
1303975
2001
22:10
and perhaps trigger this brain
system for romantic love.
system for romantic love.
422
1306000
3693
这样就很可能引致浪漫爱情的出现（大笑）
22:14
(Laughter)
423
1309717
2157
因此他决定把科学应用到实践中去
22:16
So he decided he'd put science to work.
424
1311898
3886
所以他约这个女孩一起坐黄包车
22:21
And he invited this girl to go off
on a rickshaw ride with him.
on a rickshaw ride with him.
425
1316624
3334
22:25
And sure enough -- I've never been in one,
426
1320809
2069
我自己从来没做过黄包车
22:27
but apparently they go
all around the buses and the trucks
all around the buses and the trucks
427
1322902
2738
他们穿梭于巴士和卡车之间
非常的疯狂，非常的嘈杂也非常的刺激
22:30
and it's crazy and it's noisy
and it's exciting.
and it's exciting.
428
1325664
2818
男生觉得这样会增加女孩脑中的多巴胺
22:33
He figured that this would drive up
the dopamine,
the dopamine,
429
1328506
2286
使女孩子爱上他
22:35
and she'd fall in love with him.
430
1330816
1532
一路上，那个女孩兴奋的叫着，靠着他
22:37
So off they go and she's squealing
and squeezing him
and squeezing him
431
1332372
4974
愉悦享受着美好的时光
22:42
and laughing and having a wonderful time.
432
1337370
2517
22:44
An hour later they get down
off of the rickshaw,
off of the rickshaw,
433
1339911
3539
一小时后他们下了黄包车
22:48
and she throws her hands up and she says,
434
1343474
3580
那个女孩举起她的双手问道：“太刺激了，感觉太好了!”
22:51
"Wasn't that wonderful?"
435
1347078
2312
“那个车夫好帅哦！”
22:54
And, "Wasn't that rickshaw
driver handsome!"
driver handsome!"
436
1349414
3414
22:57
(Laughter)
437
1352852
3069
（大笑）（鼓掌）
23:00
(Applause)
438
1355945
6031
23:06
There's magic to love!
439
1362000
1162
这就是爱情的魔力
23:07
(Applause)
440
1363186
1611
在结束时我要说，在百万年前，人类就发展出三个大脑系统
23:09
But I will end by saying
that millions of years ago,
that millions of years ago,
441
1364821
3620
23:13
we evolved three basic drives:
442
1368465
2332
性欲，爱情和对长期伴侣的依赖
23:15
the sex drive, romantic love
443
1370821
2519
23:18
and attachment to a long-term partner.
444
1373364
2340
这些循环系统深深扎根于人类的大脑中
23:20
These circuits are deeply
embedded in the human brain.
embedded in the human brain.
445
1375728
3079
它们将与人类一起长期共存
23:24
They're going to survive
as long as our species survives
as long as our species survives
446
1379203
4403
这就是莎士比亚说的“尘世的烦恼”
23:28
on what Shakespeare called
"this mortal coil."
"this mortal coil."
447
1383630
2708
谢谢。
23:31
Thank you.
448
1386362
1006
23:32
Chris Anderson: Helen Fisher!
449
1387392
1425
23:33
(Applause)
450
1388841
1063
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Helen Fisher - Anthropologist, expert on loveAnthropologist Helen Fisher studies gender differences and the evolution of human emotions. She’s best known as an expert on romantic love.
Why you should listen
Fisher's several books lay bare the mysteries of our most treasured emotion: its evolution, its biochemical foundations and its vital importance to human society. Fisher describes love as a universal human drive (stronger than the sex drive; stronger than thirst or hunger; stronger perhaps than the will to live), and her many areas of inquiry shed light on timeless human mysteries like why we choose one partner over another. Her classic study, Anatomy of Love, first published in 1992, has just been re-issued in a fully updated edition, including her recent neuroimaging research on lust, romantic love and attachment as well as discussions of sexting, hooking up, friends with benefits, other contemporary trends in courtship and marriage, and a dramatic current trend she calls “slow love.”
Helen Fisher | Speaker | TED.com