TEDGlobal 2009
Alain de Botton: A kinder, gentler philosophy of success
Filmed:
Readability: 3.7
7,971,965 views
Alain de Botton examines our ideas of success and failure -- and questions the assumptions underlying these two judgments. Is success always earned? Is failure? He makes an eloquent, witty case to move beyond snobbery to find true pleasure in our work.
Alain de Botton - Philosopher
Through his witty and literate books -- and his new School of Life -- Alain de Botton helps others find fulfillment in the everyday. Full bio
Through his witty and literate books -- and his new School of Life -- Alain de Botton helps others find fulfillment in the everyday. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
For me they normally happen, these career crises,
0
0
3000
00:15
often, actually, on a Sunday evening,
1
3000
2000
00:17
just as the sun is starting to set,
2
5000
2000
00:19
and the gap between my hopes for myself,
3
7000
3000
00:22
and the reality of my life, start to diverge so painfully
4
10000
4000
00:26
that I normally end up weeping into a pillow.
5
14000
3000
00:29
I'm mentioning all this,
6
17000
2000
00:31
I'm mentioning all this because I think this is not merely a personal problem.
7
19000
3000
00:34
You may think I'm wrong in this,
8
22000
2000
00:36
but I think that we live in an age when our lives are regularly
9
24000
2000
00:38
punctuated by career crises,
10
26000
2000
00:40
by moments when what we thought we knew,
11
28000
2000
00:42
about our lives, about our careers,
12
30000
2000
00:44
comes into contact with a threatening sort of reality.
13
32000
4000
00:48
It's perhaps easier now than ever before to make a good living.
14
36000
3000
00:51
It's perhaps harder than ever before
15
39000
3000
00:54
to stay calm, to be free of career anxiety.
16
42000
3000
00:57
I want to look now, if I may,
17
45000
2000
00:59
at some of the reasons why
18
47000
2000
01:01
we might be feeling anxiety about our careers.
19
49000
3000
01:04
Why we might be victims of these career crises,
20
52000
2000
01:06
as we're weeping softly into our pillows.
21
54000
4000
01:10
One of the reasons why we might be suffering
22
58000
3000
01:13
is that we are surrounded by snobs.
23
61000
2000
01:15
In a way, I've got some bad news,
24
63000
3000
01:18
particularly to anybody who's come to Oxford from abroad.
25
66000
3000
01:21
There is a real problem with snobbery.
26
69000
2000
01:23
Because sometimes people from outside the U.K.
27
71000
2000
01:25
imagine that snobbery is a distinctively U.K. phenomenon
28
73000
2000
01:27
fixated on country houses and titles.
29
75000
3000
01:30
The bad news is that's not true.
30
78000
2000
01:32
Snobbery is a global phenomenon.
31
80000
2000
01:34
We are a global organization. This is a global phenomenon.
32
82000
2000
01:36
It exists. What is a snob?
33
84000
2000
01:38
A snob is anybody who takes a small part of you
34
86000
3000
01:41
and uses that to come to a complete vision of who you are.
35
89000
3000
01:44
That is snobbery.
36
92000
2000
01:46
The dominant kind of snobbery
37
94000
2000
01:48
that exists nowadays is job snobbery.
38
96000
2000
01:50
You encounter it within minutes at a party,
39
98000
2000
01:52
when you get asked that famous iconic question
40
100000
3000
01:55
of the early 21st century, "What do you do?"
41
103000
3000
01:58
And according to how you answer that question,
42
106000
2000
02:00
people are either incredibly delighted to see you,
43
108000
2000
02:02
or look at their watch and make their excuses.
44
110000
2000
02:04
(Laughter)
45
112000
1000
02:05
Now, the opposite of a snob is your mother.
46
113000
3000
02:08
(Laughter)
47
116000
2000
02:10
Not necessarily your mother, or indeed mine,
48
118000
3000
02:13
but, as it were, the ideal mother,
49
121000
2000
02:15
somebody who doesn't care about your achievements.
50
123000
2000
02:17
But unfortunately, most people are not our mothers.
51
125000
2000
02:19
Most people make a strict correlation between how much time,
52
127000
3000
02:22
and if you like, love -- not romantic love,
53
130000
2000
02:24
though that may be something --
54
132000
2000
02:26
but love in general, respect,
55
134000
2000
02:28
they are willing to accord us, that will be strictly defined
56
136000
3000
02:31
by our position in the social hierarchy.
57
139000
2000
02:33
And that's a lot of the reason why we care so much about our careers
58
141000
3000
02:36
and indeed start caring so much about material goods.
59
144000
4000
02:40
You know, we're often told that we live in very materialistic times,
60
148000
3000
02:43
that we're all greedy people.
61
151000
2000
02:45
I don't think we are particularly materialistic.
62
153000
2000
02:47
I think we live in a society
63
155000
2000
02:49
which has simply pegged certain emotional rewards
64
157000
2000
02:51
to the acquisition of material goods.
65
159000
3000
02:54
It's not the material goods we want. It's the rewards we want.
66
162000
3000
02:57
And that's a new way of looking at luxury goods.
67
165000
2000
02:59
The next time you see somebody driving a Ferrari
68
167000
2000
03:01
don't think, "This is somebody who is greedy."
69
169000
2000
03:03
Think, "This is somebody who is incredibly vulnerable and in need of love."
70
171000
3000
03:06
In other words -- (Laughter)
71
174000
5000
03:11
feel sympathy, rather than contempt.
72
179000
2000
03:13
There are other reasons --
73
181000
2000
03:15
(Laughter)
74
183000
1000
03:16
there are other reasons why it's perhaps harder now
75
184000
2000
03:18
to feel calm than ever before.
76
186000
2000
03:20
One of these, and it's paradoxical because it's linked to something that's rather nice,
77
188000
3000
03:23
is the hope we all have for our careers.
78
191000
3000
03:26
Never before have expectations been so high
79
194000
2000
03:28
about what human beings can achieve with their lifespan.
80
196000
3000
03:31
We're told, from many sources, that anyone can achieve anything.
81
199000
3000
03:34
We've done away with the caste system.
82
202000
2000
03:36
We are now in a system where anyone can rise
83
204000
2000
03:38
to any position they please.
84
206000
2000
03:40
And it's a beautiful idea.
85
208000
2000
03:42
Along with that is a kind of spirit of equality. We're all basically equal.
86
210000
4000
03:46
There are no strictly defined
87
214000
2000
03:48
kind of hierarchies.
88
216000
2000
03:50
There is one really big problem with this,
89
218000
2000
03:52
and that problem is envy.
90
220000
2000
03:54
Envy, it's a real taboo to mention envy,
91
222000
3000
03:57
but if there is one dominant emotion in modern society, that is envy.
92
225000
3000
04:00
And it's linked to the spirit of equality. Let me explain.
93
228000
4000
04:04
I think it would be very unusual for anyone here, or anyone watching,
94
232000
3000
04:07
to be envious of the Queen of England.
95
235000
2000
04:09
Even though she is much richer than any of you are.
96
237000
3000
04:12
And she's got a very large house.
97
240000
3000
04:15
The reason why we don't envy her is because she's too weird.
98
243000
4000
04:19
She's simply too strange.
99
247000
2000
04:21
We can't relate to her. She speaks in a funny way.
100
249000
2000
04:23
She comes from an odd place.
101
251000
2000
04:25
So we can't relate to her. And when you can't relate to somebody, you don't envy them.
102
253000
4000
04:29
The closer two people are, in age, in background,
103
257000
3000
04:32
in the process of identification, the more there is a danger of envy --
104
260000
3000
04:35
which is incidentally why none of you should ever go to a school reunion --
105
263000
3000
04:38
because there is no stronger reference point
106
266000
3000
04:41
than people one was at school with.
107
269000
2000
04:43
But the problem, generally, of modern society, is that it turns the whole world
108
271000
3000
04:46
into a school. Everybody is wearing jeans, everybody is the same.
109
274000
2000
04:48
And yet, they're not.
110
276000
2000
04:50
So there is a spirit of equality, combined with deep inequalities.
111
278000
3000
04:53
Which makes for a very -- can make for a very stressful situation.
112
281000
3000
04:56
It's probably as unlikely that you would nowadays
113
284000
2000
04:58
become as rich and famous as Bill Gates,
114
286000
2000
05:00
as it was unlikely in the 17th century
115
288000
2000
05:02
that you would accede to the ranks of the French aristocracy.
116
290000
3000
05:05
But the point is, it doesn't feel that way.
117
293000
2000
05:07
It's made to feel, by magazines and other media outlets,
118
295000
3000
05:10
that if you've got energy, a few bright ideas about technology,
119
298000
3000
05:13
a garage, you too could start a major thing.
120
301000
4000
05:17
(Laughter)
121
305000
1000
05:18
And the consequences of this problem make themselves felt in bookshops.
122
306000
3000
05:21
When you go to a large bookshop and look at the self-help sections,
123
309000
3000
05:24
as I sometimes do,
124
312000
2000
05:26
if you analyze self-help books that are produced
125
314000
2000
05:28
in the world today, there are basically two kinds.
126
316000
2000
05:30
The first kind tells you, "You can do it! You can make it! Anything is possible!"
127
318000
3000
05:33
And the other kind tells you how to cope
128
321000
3000
05:36
with what we politely call "low self-esteem,"
129
324000
3000
05:39
or impolitely call "feeling very bad about yourself."
130
327000
2000
05:41
There is a real correlationship,
131
329000
2000
05:43
a real correlation between a society that tells people that they can do anything
132
331000
4000
05:47
and the existence of low self-esteem.
133
335000
2000
05:49
So that's another way in which something that is quite positive
134
337000
2000
05:51
can have a nasty kickback.
135
339000
2000
05:53
There is another reason why we might be feeling more anxious,
136
341000
3000
05:56
about our careers, about our status in the world today, than ever before.
137
344000
4000
06:00
And it is, again, linked to something nice,
138
348000
2000
06:02
and that nice thing is called meritocracy.
139
350000
3000
06:05
Everybody, all politicians on Left and Right,
140
353000
2000
06:07
agree that meritocracy is a great thing,
141
355000
2000
06:09
and we should all be trying to make our societies really, really meritocratic.
142
357000
4000
06:13
In other words, what is a meritocratic society?
143
361000
4000
06:17
A meritocratic society is one in which
144
365000
2000
06:19
if you've got talent and energy and skill,
145
367000
2000
06:21
you will get to the top. Nothing should hold you back.
146
369000
2000
06:23
It's a beautiful idea. The problem is
147
371000
3000
06:26
if you really believe in a society
148
374000
2000
06:28
where those who merit to get to the top, get to the top,
149
376000
3000
06:31
you'll also, by implication, and in a far more nasty way,
150
379000
3000
06:34
believe in a society where those who deserve to get to the bottom
151
382000
3000
06:37
also get to the bottom and stay there.
152
385000
3000
06:40
In other words, your position in life comes to seem not accidental,
153
388000
3000
06:43
but merited and deserved.
154
391000
2000
06:45
And that makes failure seem much more crushing.
155
393000
3000
06:48
You know, in the Middle Ages, in England,
156
396000
2000
06:50
when you met a very poor person,
157
398000
2000
06:52
that person would be described as an "unfortunate" --
158
400000
3000
06:55
literally, somebody who had not been blessed by fortune, an unfortunate.
159
403000
4000
06:59
Nowadays, particularly in the United States,
160
407000
2000
07:01
if you meet someone at the bottom of society,
161
409000
2000
07:03
they may unkindly be described as a "loser."
162
411000
3000
07:06
There is a real difference between an unfortunate and a loser,
163
414000
3000
07:09
and that shows 400 years of evolution in society
164
417000
3000
07:12
and our belief in who is responsible for our lives.
165
420000
3000
07:15
It's no longer the gods, it's us. We're in the driving seat.
166
423000
3000
07:18
That's exhilarating if you're doing well,
167
426000
2000
07:20
and very crushing if you're not.
168
428000
2000
07:22
It leads, in the worst cases, in the analysis of a sociologist
169
430000
3000
07:25
like Emil Durkheim, it leads to increased rates of suicide.
170
433000
4000
07:29
There are more suicides in developed individualistic countries
171
437000
3000
07:32
than in any other part of the world.
172
440000
2000
07:34
And some of the reason for that is that people take what happens
173
442000
2000
07:36
to them extremely personally.
174
444000
2000
07:38
They own their success. But they also own their failure.
175
446000
4000
07:42
Is there any relief from some of these pressures
176
450000
2000
07:44
that I've just been outlining?
177
452000
2000
07:46
I think there is. I just want to turn to a few of them.
178
454000
2000
07:48
Let's take meritocracy.
179
456000
2000
07:50
This idea that everybody deserves to get where they get to,
180
458000
3000
07:53
I think it's a crazy idea, completely crazy.
181
461000
3000
07:56
I will support any politician of Left and Right,
182
464000
2000
07:58
with any halfway decent meritocratic idea.
183
466000
2000
08:00
I am a meritocrat in that sense.
184
468000
2000
08:02
But I think it's insane to believe that we will ever
185
470000
2000
08:04
make a society that is genuinely meritocratic. It's an impossible dream.
186
472000
4000
08:08
The idea that we will make a society
187
476000
2000
08:10
where literally everybody is graded,
188
478000
2000
08:12
the good at the top, and the bad at the bottom,
189
480000
2000
08:14
and it's exactly done as it should be, is impossible.
190
482000
2000
08:16
There are simply too many random factors:
191
484000
2000
08:18
accidents, accidents of birth,
192
486000
2000
08:20
accidents of things dropping on people's heads, illnesses, etc.
193
488000
3000
08:23
We will never get to grade them,
194
491000
2000
08:25
never get to grade people as they should.
195
493000
2000
08:27
I'm drawn to a lovely quote by St. Augustine in "The City of God,"
196
495000
3000
08:30
where he says, "It's a sin to judge any man by his post."
197
498000
4000
08:34
In modern English that would mean
198
502000
2000
08:36
it's a sin to come to any view of who you should talk to
199
504000
2000
08:38
dependent on their business card.
200
506000
2000
08:40
It's not the post that should count.
201
508000
2000
08:42
According to St. Augustine,
202
510000
2000
08:44
it's only God who can really put everybody in their place.
203
512000
2000
08:46
And he's going to do that on the Day of Judgment
204
514000
2000
08:48
with angels and trumpets, and the skies will open.
205
516000
2000
08:50
Insane idea, if you're a secularist person, like me.
206
518000
3000
08:53
But something very valuable in that idea, nevertheless.
207
521000
2000
08:55
In other words, hold your horses when you're coming to judge people.
208
523000
4000
08:59
You don't necessarily know what someone's true value is.
209
527000
3000
09:02
That is an unknown part of them.
210
530000
2000
09:04
And we shouldn't behave as though it is known.
211
532000
3000
09:07
There is another source of solace and comfort for all this.
212
535000
3000
09:10
When we think about failing in life, when we think about failure,
213
538000
3000
09:13
one of the reasons why we fear failing is not just
214
541000
2000
09:15
a loss of income, a loss of status.
215
543000
2000
09:17
What we fear is the judgment and ridicule of others. And it exists.
216
545000
4000
09:21
You know, the number one organ of ridicule
217
549000
2000
09:23
nowadays, is the newspaper.
218
551000
2000
09:25
And if you open the newspaper any day of the week,
219
553000
2000
09:27
it's full of people who've messed up their lives.
220
555000
2000
09:29
They've slept with the wrong person. They've taken the wrong substance.
221
557000
3000
09:32
They've passed the wrong piece of legislation. Whatever it is.
222
560000
2000
09:34
And then are fit for ridicule.
223
562000
3000
09:37
In other words, they have failed. And they are described as "losers."
224
565000
3000
09:40
Now is there any alternative to this?
225
568000
2000
09:42
I think the Western tradition shows us one glorious alternative,
226
570000
2000
09:44
and that is tragedy.
227
572000
3000
09:47
Tragic art, as it developed in the theaters of ancient Greece,
228
575000
3000
09:50
in the fifth century B.C., was essentially an art form
229
578000
2000
09:52
devoted to tracing how people fail,
230
580000
3000
09:55
and also according them a level of sympathy,
231
583000
4000
09:59
which ordinary life would not necessarily accord them.
232
587000
4000
10:03
I remember a few years ago, I was thinking about all this,
233
591000
1000
10:04
and I went to see "The Sunday Sport,"
234
592000
2000
10:06
a tabloid newspaper that I don't recommend you to start reading
235
594000
3000
10:09
if you're not familiar with it already.
236
597000
2000
10:11
I went to talk to them
237
599000
2000
10:13
about certain of the great tragedies of Western art.
238
601000
3000
10:16
I wanted to see how they would seize the bare bones
239
604000
2000
10:18
of certain stories if they came in as a news item
240
606000
3000
10:21
at the news desk on a Saturday afternoon.
241
609000
3000
10:24
So I told them about Othello. They had not heard of it but were fascinated by it.
242
612000
2000
10:26
(Laughter)
243
614000
1000
10:27
And I asked them to write the headline for the story of Othello.
244
615000
3000
10:30
They came up with "Love-Crazed Immigrant Kills Senator's Daughter"
245
618000
3000
10:33
splashed across the headline.
246
621000
2000
10:35
I gave them the plotline of Madame Bovary.
247
623000
2000
10:37
Again, a book they were enchanted to discover.
248
625000
2000
10:39
And they wrote "Shopaholic Adulteress Swallows Arsenic After Credit Fraud."
249
627000
5000
10:44
(Laughter)
250
632000
1000
10:45
And then my favorite.
251
633000
2000
10:47
They really do have a kind of genius all of their own, these guys.
252
635000
2000
10:49
My favorite is Sophocles' Oedipus the King:
253
637000
2000
10:51
"Sex With Mum Was Blinding"
254
639000
3000
10:54
(Laughter)
255
642000
3000
10:57
(Applause)
256
645000
2000
10:59
In a way, if you like, at one end of the spectrum of sympathy,
257
647000
3000
11:02
you've got the tabloid newspaper.
258
650000
2000
11:04
At the other end of the spectrum you've got tragedy and tragic art,
259
652000
3000
11:07
and I suppose I'm arguing that we should learn a little bit
260
655000
2000
11:09
about what's happening in tragic art.
261
657000
2000
11:11
It would be insane to call Hamlet a loser.
262
659000
3000
11:14
He is not a loser, though he has lost.
263
662000
3000
11:17
And I think that is the message of tragedy to us,
264
665000
2000
11:19
and why it's so very, very important, I think.
265
667000
3000
11:22
The other thing about modern society
266
670000
2000
11:24
and why it causes this anxiety
267
672000
2000
11:26
is that we have nothing at its center that is non-human.
268
674000
3000
11:29
We are the first society to be living in a world
269
677000
2000
11:31
where we don't worship anything other than ourselves.
270
679000
3000
11:34
We think very highly of ourselves, and so we should.
271
682000
2000
11:36
We've put people on the moon. We've done all sorts of extraordinary things.
272
684000
3000
11:39
And so we tend to worship ourselves.
273
687000
2000
11:41
Our heroes are human heroes.
274
689000
2000
11:43
That's a very new situation.
275
691000
2000
11:45
Most other societies have had, right at their center,
276
693000
2000
11:47
the worship of something transcendent: a god,
277
695000
2000
11:49
a spirit, a natural force, the universe,
278
697000
2000
11:51
whatever it is, something else that is being worshiped.
279
699000
3000
11:54
We've slightly lost the habit of doing that,
280
702000
2000
11:56
which is, I think, why we're particularly drawn to nature.
281
704000
2000
11:58
Not for the sake of our health, though it's often presented that way,
282
706000
3000
12:01
but because it's an escape from the human anthill.
283
709000
4000
12:05
It's an escape from our own competition,
284
713000
2000
12:07
and our own dramas.
285
715000
2000
12:09
And that's why we enjoy looking at glaciers and oceans,
286
717000
2000
12:11
and contemplating the Earth from outside its perimeters, etc.
287
719000
4000
12:15
We like to feel in contact with something that is non-human,
288
723000
4000
12:19
and that is so deeply important to us.
289
727000
4000
12:23
What I think I've been talking about really is success and failure.
290
731000
3000
12:26
And one of the interesting things about success
291
734000
3000
12:29
is that we think we know what it means.
292
737000
2000
12:31
If I said to you that there is somebody behind the screen
293
739000
2000
12:33
who is very very successful, certain ideas would immediately come to mind.
294
741000
3000
12:36
You would think that person might have made a lot of money,
295
744000
2000
12:38
achieved renown in some field.
296
746000
3000
12:41
My own theory of success -- and I'm somebody
297
749000
2000
12:43
who is very interested in success. I really want to be successful.
298
751000
3000
12:46
I'm always thinking, "How could I be more successful?"
299
754000
2000
12:48
But as I get older, I'm also very nuanced
300
756000
2000
12:50
about what that word "success" might mean.
301
758000
2000
12:52
Here's an insight that I've had about success.
302
760000
2000
12:54
You can't be successful at everything.
303
762000
3000
12:57
We hear a lot of talk about work-life balance.
304
765000
2000
12:59
Nonsense. You can't have it all. You can't.
305
767000
3000
13:02
So any vision of success
306
770000
2000
13:04
has to admit what it's losing out on,
307
772000
2000
13:06
where the element of loss is.
308
774000
2000
13:08
I think any wise life will accept,
309
776000
3000
13:11
as I say, that there is going to be an element where we are not succeeding.
310
779000
3000
13:14
Thing about a successful life
311
782000
2000
13:16
is, a lot of the time, our ideas
312
784000
2000
13:18
of what it would mean to live successfully are not our own.
313
786000
3000
13:21
They are sucked in from other people:
314
789000
2000
13:23
chiefly, if you're a man, your father,
315
791000
2000
13:25
and if you're a woman, your mother.
316
793000
2000
13:27
Psychoanalysis has been drumming home this message for about 80 years.
317
795000
3000
13:30
No one is quite listening hard enough, but I very much believe that that's true.
318
798000
3000
13:33
And we also suck in messages
319
801000
2000
13:35
from everything from the television, to advertising,
320
803000
2000
13:37
to marketing, etc.
321
805000
2000
13:39
These are hugely powerful forces
322
807000
2000
13:41
that define what we want and how we view ourselves.
323
809000
4000
13:45
When we're told that banking is a very respectable profession
324
813000
3000
13:48
a lot of us want to go into banking.
325
816000
2000
13:50
When banking is no longer so respectable, we lose interest in banking.
326
818000
3000
13:53
We are highly open to suggestion.
327
821000
3000
13:56
So what I want to argue for is not that we should give up
328
824000
3000
13:59
on our ideas of success,
329
827000
2000
14:01
but we should make sure that they are our own.
330
829000
2000
14:03
We should focus in on our ideas
331
831000
2000
14:05
and make sure that we own them,
332
833000
3000
14:08
that we are truly the authors of our own ambitions.
333
836000
2000
14:10
Because it's bad enough, not getting what you want,
334
838000
2000
14:12
but it's even worse to have an idea
335
840000
3000
14:15
of what it is you want and find out at the end of a journey,
336
843000
3000
14:18
that it isn't, in fact, what you wanted all along.
337
846000
3000
14:21
So I'm going to end it there.
338
849000
2000
14:23
But what I really want to stress is
339
851000
3000
14:26
by all means, success, yes.
340
854000
2000
14:28
But let's accept the strangeness of some of our ideas.
341
856000
2000
14:30
Let's probe away at our notions of success.
342
858000
3000
14:33
Let's make sure our ideas of success are truly our own.
343
861000
4000
14:37
Thank you very much.
344
865000
2000
14:39
(Applause)
345
867000
16000
14:55
Chris Anderson: That was fascinating. How do you reconcile
346
883000
2000
14:57
this idea of someone being --
347
885000
5000
15:02
it being bad to think of someone as a loser
348
890000
3000
15:05
with the idea, that a lot of people like, of seizing control of your life.
349
893000
4000
15:09
And that a society that encourages that
350
897000
3000
15:12
perhaps has to have some winners and losers.
351
900000
3000
15:15
Alain de Botton: Yes. I think it's merely the randomness
352
903000
3000
15:18
of the winning and losing process that I wanted to stress.
353
906000
2000
15:20
Because the emphasis nowadays is so much
354
908000
2000
15:22
on the justice of everything,
355
910000
2000
15:24
and politicians always talk about justice.
356
912000
2000
15:26
Now I am a firm believer in justice, I just think that it is impossible.
357
914000
3000
15:29
So we should do everything we can,
358
917000
2000
15:31
we should do everything we can to pursue it.
359
919000
2000
15:33
But at the end of the day we should always remember
360
921000
2000
15:35
that whoever is facing us, whatever has happened in their lives,
361
923000
3000
15:38
there will be a strong element of the haphazard.
362
926000
3000
15:41
And it's that that I'm trying to leave room for.
363
929000
2000
15:43
Because otherwise it can get quite claustrophobic.
364
931000
2000
15:45
CA: I mean, do you believe that you can combine
365
933000
2000
15:47
your kind of kinder, gentler philosophy of work
366
935000
2000
15:49
with a successful economy?
367
937000
4000
15:53
Or do you think that you can't?
368
941000
2000
15:55
But it doesn't matter that much that we're putting too much emphasis on that?
369
943000
2000
15:57
AB: The nightmare thought
370
945000
3000
16:00
is that frightening people is the best way to get work out of them,
371
948000
4000
16:04
and that somehow the crueler the environment
372
952000
3000
16:07
the more people will rise to the challenge.
373
955000
2000
16:09
You want to think, who would you like as your ideal dad?
374
957000
4000
16:13
And your ideal dad is somebody who is tough but gentle.
375
961000
3000
16:16
And it's a very hard line to make.
376
964000
2000
16:18
We need fathers, as it were, the exemplary father figures in society,
377
966000
4000
16:22
avoiding the two extremes,
378
970000
2000
16:24
which is the authoritarian, disciplinarian, on the one hand,
379
972000
4000
16:28
and on the other, the lax, no rules option.
380
976000
4000
16:32
CA: Alain de Botton.
381
980000
2000
16:34
AB: Thank you very much.
382
982000
2000
16:36
(Applause)
383
984000
10000
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Alain de Botton - PhilosopherThrough his witty and literate books -- and his new School of Life -- Alain de Botton helps others find fulfillment in the everyday.
Why you should listen
It started in 1997, when Alain de Botton turned away from writing novels and instead wrote a touching extended essay titled How Proust Can Change Your Life, which became an unlikely blockbuster in the "self-help"category. His subsequent books take on some of the fundamental worries of modern life (am I happy? where exactly do I stand?), informed by his deep reading in philosophy and by a novelist's eye for small, perfect moments. His newest book is The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work.
In 2008, de Botton helped start the School of Life in London, a social enterprise determined to make learning and therapy relevant in today's uptight culture. His goal is (through any of his mediums) to help clients learn "how to live wisely and well."
Alain de Botton | Speaker | TED.com