TED@Unilever
Meaghan Ramsey: Why thinking you're ugly is bad for you
梅根·拉姆齐: 为什么认为自己丑会对你不利
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4,950,095 views
每个月大约会有10000个人在谷歌上搜索“我丑吗？”Dove Self-Esteem Project 的梅根·拉姆齐感觉到其中大多数是年轻的女孩。在这个深深令人不安的演讲中，她带我们领略了因对自己的身材和长相不够自信而产生的惊人影响——从更低的平均分到更高的滥用酒精和毒品的危险。然后她为我们分享了如何打破这一现实的一些关键事项。
Meaghan Ramsey - Self-esteem advocate
Meaghan Ramsey believes in business growth that stems from real social change. Full bio
Meaghan Ramsey believes in business growth that stems from real social change. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:11
This is my niece, Stella.
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这是我的侄女，斯特拉。
00:15
She's just turned one and started to walk.
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她刚满一岁并开始学走路了。
00:18
And she's walking in that really cool way that
one-year-olds do,
one-year-olds do,
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她正在用一岁的小孩通常使用的非常酷的方式走路，
00:21
a kind of teetering, my-body's-moving-
too-fast-for-my-legs kind of way.
too-fast-for-my-legs kind of way.
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那种摇摇晃晃、身体比腿移动得快得多的方式。
00:26
It is absolutely gorgeous.
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这真的很有意思。
00:28
And one of her favorite
things to do at the moment
things to do at the moment
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她最喜欢做的事情之一
00:31
is to stare at herself in the mirror.
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就是盯着镜子里的自己。
00:33
She absolutely loves her reflection.
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她非常喜欢自己在镜子里的影像。
00:36
She giggles and squeals, and gives
herself these big, wet kisses.
herself these big, wet kisses.
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她边笑边叫，然后给了镜子中的自己一些大大的、湿湿的吻。
00:43
It is beautiful.
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很漂亮。
00:45
Apparently, all of her friends do this and my mom
tells me that I used to do this,
tells me that I used to do this,
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很显然，她所有的朋友都这样做，然后我妈说我小时候也是这样的，
00:50
and it got me thinking:
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这让我想到一个问题：
00:52
When did I stop doing this?
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我是什么时候停止这样做的？
00:55
When is it suddenly not okay to love
the way that we look?
the way that we look?
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从什么时候开始，突然间我们不再喜欢自己的长相了？
01:00
Because apparently we don't.
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因为很显然我们不再那样做。
01:03
Ten thousand people every month google,
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每个月都有一万人在谷歌上搜索
01:07
"Am I ugly?"
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“我丑吗?“
01:09
This is Faye. Faye is 13 and she
lives in Denver.
lives in Denver.
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这是法耶，她13岁，住在丹佛。
01:13
And like any teenager, she just wants to
be liked and to fit in.
be liked and to fit in.
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就像所有的青少年一样，她也想被别人喜欢并与人相处融洽。
01:17
It's Sunday night.
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这是星期天晚上。
01:19
She's getting ready for the week ahead at school.
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她正在为下周的学校生活做准备。
01:22
And she's slightly dreading it, and
she's a bit confused because
she's a bit confused because
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她有些害怕，并且有一点困惑，因为
01:24
despite her mom telling her all the time
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尽管她妈妈一直告诉她说
01:27
that she's beautiful,
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她很漂亮，
01:29
every day at school, someone tells her
that she's ugly.
that she's ugly.
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但是每天在学校都会有人说她长得难看。
01:35
Because of the difference between what her mom
tells her and what her friends
tells her and what her friends
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因为她妈妈告诉她的和她在学校的朋友
01:38
at school, or her peers at school are telling her,
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或同龄人告诉她的是不同的，
01:41
she doesn't know who to believe.
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所以她不知道该相信谁。
01:43
So, she takes a video of herself.
She posts it to YouTube
She posts it to YouTube
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因此，她为自己拍摄了一个视频并放到了YouTube上，
01:47
and she asks people to please leave
a comment:
a comment:
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然后她让大家来评论：
01:50
"Am I pretty or am I ugly?"
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“我长得漂亮还是难看？”
01:52
Well, so far, Faye has received
over 13,000 comments.
over 13,000 comments.
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截止目前，法耶共收到了超过13000个评论。
01:57
Some of them are so nasty, they don't
bear thinking about.
bear thinking about.
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它们中的一些很下流，不值一提。
02:00
This is an average, healthy-looking
teenage girl receiving this feedback
teenage girl receiving this feedback
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这是一个普通的、看起来很健康的少女
在她生命中情感最脆弱的时光收到的回复。
02:06
at one of the most emotionally vulnerable
times in her life.
times in her life.
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02:11
Thousands of people are posting videos like this,
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有成千上万的人们上传这样的视频，
02:15
mostly teenage girls, reaching out in this way.
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他们中大部分都是十几岁的女孩，用这种方式来接触外界。
02:18
But what's leading them to do this?
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然而是什么导致他们这样做的呢？
02:20
Well, today's teenagers are rarely alone.
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今天的青少年很少独处。
02:24
They're under pressure to be online
and available at all times,
and available at all times,
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他们被迫上网并随时保持在线，
02:29
talking, messaging, liking, commenting,
sharing, posting —
sharing, posting —
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聊天、发信息、点赞、评论、分享、上传——
02:34
it never ends.
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无休无止。
02:36
Never before have we been so connected,
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我们之前从来没有如此被紧密地联系，
02:38
so continuously, so instantaneously, so young.
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而且是如此地无休无止、如此快速，如此年轻。
02:43
And as one mom told me, it's like there's a party
in their bedroom every night.
in their bedroom every night.
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正如一位妈妈跟我说的，似乎每天晚上他们的卧室里都有聚会。
02:48
There's simply no privacy.
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简直毫无隐私。
而由此伴随而来的社会压力也是残酷的。
02:52
And the social pressures that go along
with that are relentless.
with that are relentless.
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02:56
This always-on environment is training
our kids to value themselves
our kids to value themselves
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这种永远在线的环境将我们的孩子训练成
要靠通过他们获得的点赞数量
03:01
based on the number of likes they get
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03:02
and the types of comments that they receive.
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和收到的评论来肯定自己的价值。
03:05
There's no separation between online and offline life.
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没有线上和线下之分，
03:10
What's real or what isn't is really
hard to tell the difference between.
hard to tell the difference between.
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很难区分什么是真实的什么不是真实的，
03:16
And it's also really hard to tell the difference
between what's authentic
between what's authentic
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也很难区分现实
03:19
and what's digitally manipulated.
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和虚拟世界。
03:22
What's a highlight in someone's life versus
what's normal in the context of everyday.
what's normal in the context of everyday.
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也分不清日常生活和精彩时光。
03:27
And where are they looking to for inspiration?
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那他们又从哪里去获得灵感呢？
03:30
Well, you can see the kinds of images
that are covering the newsfeeds
that are covering the newsfeeds
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你可以看看那些今天出现在各种新闻中
03:34
of girls today.
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女孩的形象。
03:36
Size zero models still dominate our catwalks.
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“零号尺寸”模特仍然统治着T形台。
03:39
Airbrushing is now routine.
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修饰照片现在也很常见。
03:42
And trends like #thinspiration, #thighgap,
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现在的趋势是#励瘦、#大腿间距、
03:44
#bikinibridge and #proana.
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#比基尼桥和#安娜运动。
03:46
For those who don't know, #proana means pro-anorexia.
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要跟那些不明白这些的人提一下，#安娜运动的意思是支持厌食。
03:50
These trends are teamed with the
stereotyping and flagrant objectification
stereotyping and flagrant objectification
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这些趋势与今天的流行文化中对女性的刻板印象
03:55
of women in today's popular culture.
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和公然物化结合在一起。
03:57
It is not hard to see what girls are
benchmarking themselves against.
benchmarking themselves against.
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从中不难看出女孩子们是怎样定位自己的。
04:03
But boys are not immune to this either.
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但是男孩子们对此也不能幸免。
04:06
Aspiring to the chiseled jaw lines and ripped six packs
of superhero-like sports stars
of superhero-like sports stars
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他们渴望拥有轮廓分明的下巴线条和像英雄般的体育明星
04:11
and playboy music artists.
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以及花花公子音乐艺术家所拥有的六块腹肌。
04:13
But, what's the problem with all of this?
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但是, 所有的这些表现的问题是什么呢?
04:16
Well, surely we want our kids to grow up as healthy,
well balanced individuals.
well balanced individuals.
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我们当然希望我们的孩子成长为一个健康、均衡发展的个人。
04:23
But in an image-obsessed culture, we are
training our kids
training our kids
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但是在这样一个对相貌着迷的文化中，我们正将我们的孩子训练成
04:26
to spend more time and mental effort on
their appearance
their appearance
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将更多的时间和精力花在外貌上，
04:31
at the expense of all of the other aspects
of their identities.
of their identities.
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而对于其他方面的身份认同关注更少的人。
04:36
So, things like their relationships, the development
of their physical abilities,
of their physical abilities,
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因此，他们会在人际关系、体能发展
04:40
and their studies and so on begin to suffer.
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和学习等方面开始受挫。
04:44
Six out of 10 girls are now choosing not to do
something because they don't
something because they don't
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现在10个女孩中有6个会因为她们觉得自己不够好看
04:49
think they look good enough.
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而不去做某事。
04:51
These are not trivial activities.
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这些都不是琐事。
04:54
These are fundamental activities to their
development as humans
development as humans
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作为人类以及社会和职场的参与者的发展来说，
04:57
and as contributors to society and to
the workforce.
the workforce.
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这些都是基本的。
05:03
Thirty-one percent, nearly one in
three teenagers, are withdrawing
three teenagers, are withdrawing
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有31%，也就是说将近三分之一的青少年
会从课堂辩论中退出。
05:09
from classroom debate. They're failing
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05:10
to engage in classroom debate because
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他们退出是因为
05:12
they don't want to draw attention to the
way that they look.
way that they look.
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不想让别人注意到他们的长相。
05:16
One in five are not showing up to class at all
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有五分之一的青少年在感觉不是很好的时候
05:19
on days when they don't feel good about it.
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甚至都不会在班级里露面。
05:21
And when it comes to exams,
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考试的时候，
05:22
if you don't think you look good enough,
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如果你觉得自己不够好看，
05:25
specifically if you don't think you are thin enough,
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特别是如果你觉得自己不够苗条的话，
05:28
you will score a lower grade point average
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那么跟那些不关心这些的同学比起来
05:31
than your peers who are not concerned with this.
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你可能得到的平均分数要比他们低。
05:34
And this is consistent across Finland, the U.S.
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这一点不管是在芬兰、美国
05:37
and China, and is true regardless of how much
you actually weigh.
you actually weigh.
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还是中国都是一致的，而且不管你真实的体重是多少。
05:43
So to be super clear, we're talking about the
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所以非常清楚，我们是在讨论
05:46
way you think you look, not how
you actually look.
you actually look.
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你所认为的自己的长相，而不是你的真实长相。
05:51
Low body confidence is undermining
academic achievement.
academic achievement.
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对身体的信心不足会削弱学业成绩。
05:56
But it's also damaging health.
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而且也会有损健康。
05:58
Teenagers with low body confidence
do less physical activity,
do less physical activity,
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那些对自己身体信心不足的青少年会更少参加体育活动，
06:02
eat less fruits and vegetables,
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吃更少的水果和蔬菜，
06:04
partake in more unhealthy weight control
practices
practices
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而会更多参加那些不健康的可能导致饮食失调的
06:07
that can lead to eating disorders.
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体重控制训练。
06:10
They have lower self-esteem.
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他们的自尊心也会更低。
06:12
They're more easily influenced by people around them
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他们更容易受到周围人的影响，
06:14
and they're at greater risk of depression.
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并且有更高的抑郁的风险。
06:17
And we think it's for all of these reasons
that they take more risks
that they take more risks
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基于以上理由，我们认为他们有更高的风险去做
06:21
with things like alcohol and drug use;
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那些像酗酒、吸毒、
06:25
crash dieting; cosmetic surgery;
unprotected, earlier sex;
unprotected, earlier sex;
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快速减肥、整容、无防护措施以及过早的性交
06:30
and self-harm.
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和自残这样的事情。
06:32
The pursuit of the perfect body is putting
pressure on our healthcare systems
pressure on our healthcare systems
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对完美身材的追求正使医保系统饱受压力
06:36
and costing our governments billions of
dollars every year.
dollars every year.
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并且每年要花费政府数十亿美元。
06:41
And we don't grow out of it.
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而且我们并不会因为长大而放弃追求完美身材。
06:43
Women who think they're overweight — again,
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那些认为自己超重的妇女——不管她们
06:46
regardless of whether they are or are not —
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是否真的超重——
06:49
have higher rates of absenteeism.
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会有更高的缺勤率。
06:52
Seventeen percent of women would
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17%的女性会因为
06:54
not show up to a job interview on
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某天感觉对自己的长相不自信
06:57
a day when they weren't feeling confident
about the way that they look.
about the way that they look.
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而不去参加那天的面试。
07:02
Have a think about what this is doing
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想一下这对我们的经济
07:04
to our economy.
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会有什么影响。
07:06
If we could overcome this, what that
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如果我们能克服这些，将会带来
07:08
opportunity looks like.
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哪些机会。
07:10
Unlocking this potential is in the interest
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释放这个潜能将有益于
07:13
of every single one of us.
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我们每一个人。
07:16
But how do we do that?
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但是我们该如何去做呢？
07:18
Well, talking, on its own, only gets you so far.
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单独的空谈，也就只能到此为止了。
07:22
It's not enough by itself.
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它本身是不够的。
07:23
If you actually want to make a difference,
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如果你真的想有所改变，
07:25
you have to do something.
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你得去做点什么。
07:27
And we've learned there are three key ways:
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而我们了解到这里有三个关键的方法：
07:30
The first is we have to educate for body confidence.
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首先我们得培养自己对身体充满信心。
07:33
We have to help our teenagers develop
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我们得帮助青少年想出
07:35
strategies to overcome image-related pressures
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策略去克服跟形象有关的压力
07:38
and build their self-esteem.
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并且建立他们的自尊心。
07:40
Now, the good news is that there are
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好消息是现在已经有
07:42
many programs out there available
to do this.
to do this.
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许多这样的项目。
07:46
The bad news is that most of them don't work.
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坏消息是大多数这样的项目没有效。
07:49
I was shocked to learn that many well-meaning
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我很震惊地了解到许多善意的
07:54
programs are inadvertently actually
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项目却无意中
07:57
making the situation worse.
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使得情况更糟糕了。
08:01
So we need to make damn sure that
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因此我们要确保
08:02
the programs that our kids are receiving
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我们的孩子们正在接受的项目
08:05
are not only having a positive impact,
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不仅是对他们有积极影响的，
08:07
but having a lasting impact as well.
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而且还要有持续的影响。
08:10
And the research shows
that the best programs
that the best programs
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研究表明最好的项目
08:13
address six key areas:
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跟六个关键领域有关：
08:15
The first is the influence of family,
friends and relationships.
friends and relationships.
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首先是家人和亲朋好友的影响。
08:19
The second is media and celebrity culture,
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其次是媒体和名人文化，
08:23
then how to handle teasing and bullying,
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然后是如何处理调侃和欺凌，
08:25
the way we compete and compare with
one another
one another
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同其他人基于长相的
08:27
based on looks,
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竞争和比较的方式，
08:28
talking about appearance — some people
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对相貌的讨论——有些人
08:30
call this "body talk" or "fat talk" —
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称之为"身材谈话“或”肥胖谈话“——
08:33
and finally, the foundations of respecting
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最后一点，是你尊重
08:35
and looking after yourself.
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和看待自己的基础。
08:37
These six things are crucial starting points
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这六件事对于那些
08:39
for anyone serious about delivering
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真正想要实现有效的身体信心教育的人来说
08:42
body-confidence education that works.
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是至关重要的起点。
08:45
An education is critical,
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教育是很重要的，
08:48
but tackling this problem is going
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但是解决这个问题需要
08:49
to require each and everyone of us
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我们所有人
08:52
to step up and be better role models
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提升自己并且成为
08:55
for the women and girls in our own lives.
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我们生活中的妇女和女孩们更好的榜样。
08:58
Challenging the status quo of how
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挑战我们在圈子中
09:00
women are seen and talked about in
our own circles.
our own circles.
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如何看待和谈论女性的现状。
09:03
It is not okay that we judge the contribution
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我们不能仅凭
09:07
of our politicians by their haircuts
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政治家的发型和胸围
09:10
or the size of their breasts,
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去判断她的贡献大小，
09:12
or to infer that the determination or the success
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或者因为长相不佳而推断
09:15
of an Olympian is down
to her not being a looker.
to her not being a looker.
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一个奥运会运动员不会成功。
09:18
We need to start judging people by what they do,
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我们需要根据人们的所做所为去评判一个人，
09:21
not what they look like.
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而不是他们的长相。
09:24
We can all start by taking responsibility
for the types of pictures
for the types of pictures
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我们可以从对我们
发布在社交网络上的图片和评论
09:28
and comments that we post
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09:30
on our own social networks.
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担起责任开始做起。
09:32
We can compliment people based on
their effort
their effort
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我们可以基于人们的努力
09:36
and their actions
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和行动去赞美他们
09:38
and not on their appearance.
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而不是他们的相貌。
09:40
And let me ask you,
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让我来问问你，
09:42
when was the last time that you
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你上一次对着镜子亲吻
09:43
kissed a mirror?
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是什么时候？
09:45
Ultimately, we need to work together
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最终，我们需要跟
09:47
as communities, as governments
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社区、政府
09:50
and as businesses to really change
this culture of ours
this culture of ours
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和企业一起努力去改变我们的这些文化，
09:54
so that our kids grow up valuing their
whole selves,
whole selves,
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这样我们的孩子才能在成长中获得完整的自我，
09:59
valuing individuality, diversity, inclusion.
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重视个性、多元和包容。
10:03
We need to put the people that are
making a real difference
making a real difference
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我们要让那些正在改变
10:06
on our pedestals, making a difference
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我们的现状的人去改变
10:10
in the real world.
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真实的世界。
10:12
Giving them the airtime, because only then
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给他们时间，因为只有这样
10:14
will we create a different world.
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我们才能创造一个不同的世界，
10:16
A world where our kids are free to become
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一个我们的孩子可以自由地成为
10:20
the best versions of themselves,
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最好的自己的世界，
10:23
where the way they think they look
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一个他们不会因自己的长相
10:25
never holds them back from being
who they are
who they are
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而阻碍他们成为自己想要成为的人
10:27
or achieving what they want in life.
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或者获得想要的东西的世界。
10:30
Think about what this might mean
for someone in your life.
for someone in your life.
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想一下这对你生命中的某个人可能意味着什么。
10:35
Who have you got in mind?
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你脑海中出现了谁？
10:36
Is it your wife?
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你的妻子？
10:37
Your sister?
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你妹妹？
10:39
Your daughter?
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你女儿？
10:40
Your niece?
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你侄女？
10:42
Your friend? It could just be the woman
a couple of seats away
a couple of seats away
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还是你的某个朋友？也可能只是今天
10:45
from you today.
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跟你隔着几个座位的某个女性。
10:46
What would it mean for her
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这将对她意味着什么呢?
10:49
if she were freed from that voice
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如果她能摆脱内心挑剔的声音
10:53
of her inner critic, nagging her to have
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唠叨她要有
10:56
longer legs, thinner thighs, smaller stomach,
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更长更细的大腿,更瘦的肚子
10:58
shorter feet?
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和更短的脚。
11:00
What could it mean for her if we overcame this
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如果我们能克服这些并打开
11:03
and unlocked her potential in that way?
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她在那方面的潜力，那对她来说又将意味着什么？
11:08
Right now, our culture's obsession
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现在，我们的文化中对形象的痴迷
11:11
with image is holding us all back.
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阻碍了我们所有人。
但是让我们向孩子们展示真相。
11:15
But let's show our kids the truth.
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11:17
Let's show them that the way you look
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让我们向他们表明长相
11:19
is just one part of your identity
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只是身份的一部分，
11:23
and that the truth is we love them
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而事实是我们爱他们是因为
11:26
for who they are
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他们是谁
11:27
and what they do
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和他们的所做所为
以及他们给我们的感觉。
11:29
and how they make us feel.
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让我们在学校的课程中设置自尊心科目。
11:32
Let's build self-esteem into our school curriculums.
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让我们每一个人改变
11:36
Let's each and every one of us change the way
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我们谈论自己和跟他人比较的方式。
11:39
we talk and compare ourselves to other people.
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11:42
And let's work together as communities,
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让我们作为团体一起努力，
从基层到政府，
11:45
from grassroots to governments,
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11:48
so that the happy little one-year-olds
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以便这些今天一岁大的快乐的孩子
11:50
of today become the confident
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成为
明天自信的变革者。
11:53
changemakers of tomorrow.
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11:55
Let's do this.
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让我们这样做吧。
11:57
(Applause)
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（掌声）
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Meaghan Ramsey - Self-esteem advocateMeaghan Ramsey believes in business growth that stems from real social change.
Why you should listen
Meaghan Ramsey helps businesses and brands shape their operations and organizations in a way that delivers both positive social change and business growth. She is a partner in the Business in Society Practice at the Brunswick Group.
With her origins in nutritional science, Ramsey has worked across FMCG, health as well as food and beverage sectors, and she has consulted to pharmaceutical, media, agricultural, tech start-ups, charities and non-government organizations.
Prior to joining Brunswick, Ramsey was the Global Director of the Dove Self-Esteem Project at Unilever in London. In her role, she developed global education programs and mass-media campaigns that encouraged the participation of millions of young girls and women around the world to improve individual confidence. Her TED Talk and speech at the UN's 59th Commission on the Status of Women helped highlight the importance of this particular work and the urgent need to address it. Ramsey speaks regularly on the role business can, and must, play in creating a sustainable, positive future.
Meaghan Ramsey | Speaker | TED.com