Leila Hoteit: 3 lessons on success from an Arab businesswoman
莱拉 赫提特: 来自阿拉伯职业女性的3个关于成功的建议
BCG's Leila Hoteit specializes in human capital and education throughout the Middle East. Full bio
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from my young daughter Alia
我年幼的女儿艾莉娅,
某个高端商场里,
standing tall in the middle of the mall.
立在商场中心的大海报。
of the United Arab Emirates.
阿联酋的领导人。
that these were the rulers of the UAE
他们是阿联酋的领导人,
to develop their nation
that here where we live,
为什么在我们住的地方
where grandma and grandpa live,
of powerful women on the walls?
I've had to answer in my years as a parent
以及在我16年多职业生涯里,
of professional life, for that matter.
to a very hard-working pilot
母亲是一位辛勤工作的飞行员,
for the Lebanese Airlines
航空公司的运营总监,
stay-at-home mom and grandma.
顾家的母亲和祖母。
my sister and I to pursue our education
姐姐和我坚持接受教育,
emphasized at the time
风俗仍然强调
who should be professionally motivated.
而不是女儿。
of my generation
我成为了他的的儿子。
and I hope I didn't do too badly
作为我父亲望子成龙的对象,
of his would-be son.
in electrical engineering,
的学士和博士学位,
then consulting in the Middle East,
然后在中东做咨询顾问,
in male-dominated environments.
男性主导的环境里。
a role model I could truly identify with.
一个我所能认同的榜样。
wasn't into professional leadership.
没有女性能身居要职。
encouraging men along the way,
我所面对的需求和压力,
and pressures I was facing,
when I had my own two beautiful children.
压力变得尤为难以承受。
poor, oppressed Arab women advice,
可怜的,被压抑的阿拉伯女性一些忠告,
with different constraints.
是完全不同的生活,不同的挑战。
have had to become our own role models.
被迫成为自己的楷模。
颠沛流离,
more cultural rigidity than Western women.
面对着更多的文化束缚。
that we poor, oppressed women
那些可怜,被压抑的女性,
certainly hard-earned lessons to share,
深刻的经历来分享,
in the modern world.
一些实用的帮助。
is touting as the key to success:
都用来售卖作为成功的关键:
and how do you develop it?
你又如何培养这个能力呢?
the ability to transform shit into fuel.
将失意转化成动力的能力。
那是现在的很久之前,
well before my current firm,
的男人一同工作。
we will call John.
and was working hard,
我工作极其努力,
my case to make partner at the firm.
让我在日后工作中更加顺利。
on my consulting projects,
顾问项目之外,
关于女性经济赋权的课题。
of women economic empowerment.
to a roomful of MBA students.
对于我的研究作报告,
to the details of my study.
我研究的细节。
in apparent shame.
观众给予了我掌声,
to an applauding audience
gender parity indices,
关于性别平等的指数,
阿拉伯世界面临的事实。
at the bottom of the index,
的确处在指数的底层,
呈现的有任何不符合事实吗?”
that was not factual?"
"The whole premise of your study is wrong.
“你整个研究的前提就是错误的,
break the social fabric of our society."
将破坏我们社会的结构。”
their place is in the home."
她们归属就是家庭。”
凝固了很长一段时间,
我唯一清楚并反复的是,
in the chaos of my brain was:
到此为止了,力里亚,
that partnership, Leila.
absorb this incident and its implications,
吸收这件事以及它给我带来的影响,
I reached three conclusions.
我有了三个结论。
很多像他一样的人。
their issues become mine.
他们的问题变成我的。
another sponsor, and fast.
而且要快,
and boy, was he great.
合作者,一个年轻人,他很棒。
为人父母的女性所能成就的。
what women with children can do.
to my personal life.
在了我的个人生活中。
of encouragement,
by women, men and couples
很明显对于我和我老公
with my husband and I
of a dual-career couple.
at a family gathering
you're not a great mom,
很称职的母亲对吧?
投入了太多”
in your career, right?
these words didn't hurt.
没有伤害,那是不可能的。
precious thing to me,
是我最宝贵的东西,
failing them in any way is intolerable.
对我来说都是无法忍受的。
that these were their issues,
这些是他们的问题,
in these situations, you have two options.
在这些情况下,你有两个选择。
to internalize these negative messages
你是一个失败者,
对你而言遥不可及,
to ever achieve,
negativity is their own issue,
消极的东西是他们自己的问题,
你自己的动力。
into your own personal fuel.
to always go for option two,
让我获得力量。
from strength to strength.
支持她们事业的人结了婚。
to someone supportive of their career.
是你自己的选择,
你最好和一个支持你的人结婚。
if you plan to have a long career.
去适时将工作从生活中拿掉”]
is not an equal contributor in the home.
在家庭里仍不是一个平等贡献者
不被我们社会所期待的,
被嘲笑不是很男人。
our society still assumes
我们的社会仍然认为
应该建立在孩子和丈夫
should be the happiness and prosperity
but it will take time.
但是这需要一些时间。
that the professional Arab woman
一个阿拉伯职业女性
维持一个完美的家庭,
都能得到满足的同时,
is being taken care of
我发现了一个有力的方法,
运用到你的个人生活中去。
professional skills to your personal life.
承担得起的家庭保姆。
has access to affordable domestic help.
how to recruit effectively.
如何有效地雇佣?
I have based the selection
我在一个可靠的推荐中,
在我工作时间
with my children while I'm at work
for four years with my sister
工作了四年。
是很高的。
was well-established.
家庭成员中的一员,
member of our family,
就和我们在一起,
since Alia was six months old.
is running smoothly while I'm at work,
家里一切事务井井有条,
合适的范围内,
for her and my children,
最好的员工一样。
whatever your childcare situation,
照顾孩子的情况里,
that you share with someone else.
兼职保姆。
然后授权给她们。
到8点半的那一个半小时
from 7pm to 8:30pm UAE time
我就坚持做这个。
ever since Alia was a baby.
去保护留有这段时间。
to protect this time
to spend quality time with my children,
回到家里陪孩子们充实地度过,
给他们阅读床上故事,
reading them a bedtime story
lots of kisses and cuddles.
亲吻和拥抱。
in whatever the time zone,
不论在哪个时区,
即使我在千里之外。
even if I am miles away.
做一些基本的算数,
and do basic maths.
教授他这些技能上
is actually more successful
playing teacher to her little brother,
给她的小弟弟扮演老师,
actually improve Burhan's literacy,
提高了布尔汗的读写能力,
to working their life
去经营她们的生活,
of responsibility in the home.
about surviving in your dual role
生存在你的双重角色中,
和他们在一起多少分钟,
I can spend with them every day,
值得记忆的瞬间上,
into memorable moments,
我看见了我的孩子,
在她们长大的过程中,
have not been very visible
政界里的女人很少。
in politics in the Arab world.
behind the scenes,
very important to success:
社交技能就是:
熟人组成的人脉网络,
of friends and acquaintances.
often compare themselves to other women
常常拿她们自己和其她女人比较,
successful woman in the room.
成功的女性而被注意到。
competitive behavior
for one woman at the top,
更不会提拔她们的下属。
much less lift them up.
心理陷阱中。
for this psychological trap.
that by helping each other out,
我是最资深的中东女性,
senior woman in the Middle East,
in my network of female colleagues
女性社交网络里投入
以及同龄男性的关系上。
with male seniors and peers.
其她女性的支持上。
came through the support of other women.
最先提议
who initially suggested
去参加全球经济会谈。
to the World Economic Forum.
发表很熟悉,
and my publications,
推荐人选的时候,
to voice her opinion,
a Saudi lady and friend,
一位来自沙特的女性朋友,
my first project in Saudi Arabia,
在沙特阿拉伯的第一个项目,
to gain traction in as a woman.
很难打入的市场。
of very many projects for me in Saudi.
在沙特很多项目的开端。
两位资深的女性雇员,
as key to my own success.
也是我成功的关键。
despite many recent setbacks.
尽管最近遇到不少障碍。
five new female ministers to its cabinet,
五位女性内阁部长。
developed countries can claim.
声称的数量多。
Alia's favorite picture.
最喜欢的一张图片。
no doubt, of great leadership,
强大领导力的结果,
of strong Arab women
不屈不挠的阿拉伯女性
pushing the boundaries.
开拓挑战边界的结果。
deciding every day like me
阿拉伯女性决定每天
to keep work out of their life,
去适时将工作从生活中拿掉,
when she stands on this stage
二三十年后,
to call herself her mother's daughter
也会很自豪地自称为,
"her mother's son" or "mama's boy"
或者“妈妈的男孩”
a completely different meaning.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Leila Hoteit - Women's advocateBCG's Leila Hoteit specializes in human capital and education throughout the Middle East.
Why you should listen
Dr. Leila Hoteit is a partner and managing director at BCG, based in Dubai. She leads the education and human capital development work in the Middle East.
Dr. Hoteit's career spans over 13 years in the management consulting industry. As part of her assignments, Dr. Hoteit has covered a slew of in-depth societal issues that punctuate the MENA region; these include education, women's empowerment, human capital development, employment and culture. Dr. Hoteit was named Young Global Leader for the World Economic Forum in 2014 -- a multi-stakeholder community of exceptional young leaders who share a commitment to shaping the global future. Dr. Hoteit holds a Bachelor's degree and PhD in Electrical Engineering from Imperial College London, as well as an MBA from France's INSEAD. She is the author of multiple patents.
Leila Hoteit | Speaker | TED.com