TEDGlobal 2009
John Lloyd: An inventory of the invisible
Filmed:
Readability: 3.4
1,233,857 views
Nature's mysteries meet tack-sharp wit in this hilarious, 10-minute mix of quips and fun lessons, as comedian, writer and TV man John Lloyd plucks at the substance of several things not seen.
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
So the question is, what is invisible?
0
0
5000
00:17
There is more of it than you think, actually.
1
5000
3000
00:20
Everything, I would say. Everything that matters
2
8000
3000
00:23
except every thing and except matter.
3
11000
6000
00:29
We can see matter. But we can't see what's the matter.
4
17000
4000
00:33
As in this cryptic sentence I found in The Guardian recently:
5
21000
5000
00:38
"The marriage suffered a setback in 1965,
6
26000
3000
00:41
when the husband was killed by the wife."
7
29000
3000
00:44
(Laughter)
8
32000
3000
00:47
There's a world of invisibility there, isn't there?
9
35000
2000
00:49
(Laughter)
10
37000
2000
00:51
So, we can see the stars and the planets,
11
39000
2000
00:53
but we can't see what holds them apart
12
41000
3000
00:56
or what draws them together.
13
44000
2000
00:58
With matter, as with people, we see only the skin of things.
14
46000
3000
01:01
We can't see into the engine room.
15
49000
2000
01:03
We can't see what makes people tick, at least not without difficulty.
16
51000
3000
01:06
And the closer we look at anything, the more it disappears.
17
54000
4000
01:10
In fact, if you look really closely at stuff,
18
58000
2000
01:12
if you look at the basic substructure of matter,
19
60000
2000
01:14
there isn't anything there.
20
62000
2000
01:16
Electrons disappear in a kind of fuzz,
21
64000
2000
01:18
and there is only energy. And you can't see energy.
22
66000
5000
01:23
So everything that matters, that's important, is invisible.
23
71000
3000
01:26
One slightly silly thing that's invisible
24
74000
3000
01:29
is this story, which is invisible to you.
25
77000
2000
01:31
And I'm now going to make it visible to you in your minds.
26
79000
3000
01:34
It's about an M.P. called Geoffrey Dickens.
27
82000
4000
01:38
The late Geoffrey Dickens, M.P. was attending a fete in his constituency.
28
86000
3000
01:41
Wherever he went, at every stall he stopped he was closely followed
29
89000
3000
01:44
by a devoted smiling woman of indescribable ugliness.
30
92000
3000
01:47
(Laughter)
31
95000
2000
01:49
Try as he might, he couldn't get away from her.
32
97000
2000
01:51
A few days later he received a letter from a constituent
33
99000
2000
01:53
saying how much she admired him,
34
101000
2000
01:55
had met him at a fete and asking for a signed photograph.
35
103000
3000
01:58
After her name, written in brackets was the apt description, horse face.
36
106000
5000
02:03
(Laughter)
37
111000
1000
02:04
"I've misjudged this women," thought Mr. Dickens.
38
112000
2000
02:06
"Not only is she aware of her physical repulsiveness,
39
114000
3000
02:09
she turns it to her advantage.
40
117000
2000
02:11
A photo is not enough."
41
119000
2000
02:13
So he went out and bought a plastic frame to put the photograph in.
42
121000
3000
02:16
And on the photograph, he wrote with a flourish,
43
124000
2000
02:18
"To Horse Face, with love from Geoffrey Dickens, M.P."
44
126000
5000
02:23
After it had been sent off, his secretary said to him,
45
131000
2000
02:25
"Did you get that letter from the woman at the fete?
46
133000
2000
02:27
I wrote Horse Face on her, so you'd remember who she was."
47
135000
4000
02:31
(Laughter)
48
139000
6000
02:37
I bet he thought he wished he was invisible, don't you?
49
145000
2000
02:39
(Laughter)
50
147000
2000
02:41
So, one of the interesting things about invisibility
51
149000
2000
02:43
is that things that we can't see
52
151000
2000
02:45
we also can't understand.
53
153000
2000
02:47
Gravity is one thing that we can't see
54
155000
2000
02:49
and which we don't understand.
55
157000
2000
02:51
It's the least understood of all the four fundamental forces,
56
159000
2000
02:53
and the weakest.
57
161000
2000
02:55
And nobody really knows what it is or why it's there.
58
163000
2000
02:57
For what it's worth, Sir Isaac Newton, the greatest scientist who ever lived,
59
165000
3000
03:00
he thought Jesus came to Earth specifically to operate the levers of gravity.
60
168000
5000
03:05
That's what he thought he was there for.
61
173000
2000
03:07
So, bright guy, could be wrong on that one, I don't know.
62
175000
3000
03:10
(Laughter)
63
178000
2000
03:12
Consciousness. I see all your faces.
64
180000
2000
03:14
I have no idea what any of you are thinking. Isn't that amazing?
65
182000
3000
03:17
Isn't that incredible that we can't read each other's minds?
66
185000
3000
03:20
But we can touch each other, taste each other perhaps, if we get close enough.
67
188000
4000
03:24
But we can't read each other's minds. I find that quite astonishing.
68
192000
3000
03:27
In the Sufi faith, this great Middle Eastern religion,
69
195000
4000
03:31
which some claim is the route of all religions,
70
199000
2000
03:33
Sufi masters are all telepaths, so they say.
71
201000
5000
03:38
But their main exercise of telepathy
72
206000
2000
03:40
is to send out powerful signals to the rest of us that it doesn't exist.
73
208000
5000
03:45
So that's why we don't think it exists,
74
213000
2000
03:47
the Sufi masters working on us.
75
215000
3000
03:50
In the question of consciousness
76
218000
2000
03:52
and artificial intelligence,
77
220000
2000
03:54
artificial intelligence has really, like the study of consciousness,
78
222000
2000
03:56
gotten nowhere. We have no idea how consciousness works.
79
224000
3000
03:59
With artificial intelligence, not only have they not created artificial intelligence,
80
227000
4000
04:03
they haven't yet created artificial stupidity.
81
231000
3000
04:06
(Laughter)
82
234000
5000
04:11
The laws of physics: invisible, eternal, omnipresent, all-powerful.
83
239000
4000
04:15
Remind you of anyone?
84
243000
2000
04:17
Interesting. I'm, as you can guess,
85
245000
2000
04:19
not a materialist, I'm an immaterialist.
86
247000
2000
04:21
And I've found a very useful new word, ignostic. Okay?
87
249000
3000
04:24
I'm an ignostic.
88
252000
2000
04:26
I refuse to be drawn on the question of whether God exists,
89
254000
3000
04:29
until somebody properly defines the terms.
90
257000
3000
04:32
(Laughter)
91
260000
3000
04:35
Another thing we can't see is the human genome.
92
263000
3000
04:38
And this is increasingly peculiar,
93
266000
3000
04:41
because about 20 years ago, when they started delving into the genome,
94
269000
5000
04:46
they thought it would probably contain around 100,000 genes.
95
274000
3000
04:49
Geneticists will know this, but every year since,
96
277000
2000
04:51
it's been revised downwards.
97
279000
2000
04:53
We now think there are likely to be only just over 20,000
98
281000
3000
04:56
genes in the human genome.
99
284000
2000
04:58
This is extraordinary. Because rice -- get this --
100
286000
3000
05:01
rice is known to have 38 thousand genes.
101
289000
4000
05:05
Potatoes, potatoes have 48 chromosomes. Do you know that?
102
293000
5000
05:10
Two more than people,
103
298000
2000
05:12
and the same as a gorilla.
104
300000
2000
05:14
(Laughter)
105
302000
2000
05:16
You can't see these things, but they are very strange.
106
304000
3000
05:19
(Laughter)
107
307000
2000
05:21
The stars by day. I always think that's fascinating.
108
309000
3000
05:24
The universe disappears.
109
312000
2000
05:26
The more light there is, the less you can see.
110
314000
3000
05:29
Time, nobody can see time.
111
317000
2000
05:31
I don't know if you know this. Modern physics,
112
319000
2000
05:33
there is a big movement in modern physics
113
321000
2000
05:35
to decide that time doesn't really exist,
114
323000
2000
05:37
because it's too inconvenient for the figures.
115
325000
3000
05:40
It's much easier if it's not really there.
116
328000
2000
05:42
You can't see the future, obviously.
117
330000
2000
05:44
And you can't see the past, except in your memory.
118
332000
3000
05:47
One of the interesting things about the past is
119
335000
2000
05:49
you particularly can't see. My son asked me this the other day,
120
337000
3000
05:52
he said, "Dad, can you remember what I was like when I was two?"
121
340000
2000
05:54
And I said, "Yes." And he said, "Why can't I?"
122
342000
3000
05:57
Isn't that extraordinary? You cannot remember
123
345000
2000
05:59
what happened to you earlier than the age of two or three,
124
347000
3000
06:02
which is great news for psychoanalysts,
125
350000
2000
06:04
because otherwise they'd be out of a job.
126
352000
2000
06:06
Because that's where all the stuff happens
127
354000
3000
06:09
(Laughter)
128
357000
2000
06:11
that makes you who you are.
129
359000
3000
06:14
Another thing you can't see is the grid on which we hang.
130
362000
3000
06:17
This is fascinating. You probably know, some of you,
131
365000
3000
06:20
that cells are continually renewed. You can see it in skin and this kind of stuff.
132
368000
3000
06:23
Skin flakes off, hairs grow, nails, that kind of stuff.
133
371000
4000
06:27
But every cell in your body is replaced at some point.
134
375000
3000
06:30
Taste buds, every 10 days or so.
135
378000
2000
06:32
Livers and internal organs sort of take a bit longer. A spine takes several years.
136
380000
4000
06:36
But at the end of seven years, not one cell in your body
137
384000
4000
06:40
remains from what was there seven years ago.
138
388000
3000
06:43
The question is, who, then, are we?
139
391000
2000
06:45
What are we? What is this thing that we hang on,
140
393000
3000
06:48
that is actually us?
141
396000
4000
06:52
Okay. Atoms, you can't see them.
142
400000
2000
06:54
Nobody ever will. They're smaller than the wavelength of light.
143
402000
3000
06:57
Gas, you can't see that.
144
405000
2000
06:59
Interesting. Somebody mentioned 1600 recently.
145
407000
2000
07:01
Gas was invented in 1600
146
409000
2000
07:03
by a Dutch chemist called Van Helmont.
147
411000
3000
07:06
It's said to be the most successful ever invention
148
414000
3000
07:09
of a word by a known individual.
149
417000
2000
07:11
Quite good. He also invented a word called "blas,"
150
419000
3000
07:14
meaning astral radiation.
151
422000
2000
07:16
Didn't catch on, unfortunately.
152
424000
2000
07:18
(Laughter)
153
426000
2000
07:20
But well done, him.
154
428000
2000
07:22
(Laughter)
155
430000
1000
07:23
There is so many things that -- Light.
156
431000
3000
07:26
You can't see light. When it's dark, in a vacuum,
157
434000
3000
07:29
if a person shines a beam of light straight across your eyes,
158
437000
3000
07:32
you won't see it. Slightly technical, some physicists will disagree with this.
159
440000
3000
07:35
But it's odd that you can't see the beam of light,
160
443000
2000
07:37
you can only see what it hits.
161
445000
2000
07:39
I find that extraordinary, not to be able to see light,
162
447000
2000
07:41
not to be able to see darkness.
163
449000
2000
07:43
Electricity, you can't see that.
164
451000
2000
07:45
Don't let anyone tell you they understand electricity.
165
453000
2000
07:47
They don't. Nobody knows what it is.
166
455000
2000
07:49
(Laughter)
167
457000
1000
07:50
You probably think the electrons in an electric wire
168
458000
2000
07:52
move instantaneously down a wire, don't you, at the speed of light
169
460000
3000
07:55
when you turn the light on. They don't.
170
463000
2000
07:57
Electrons bumble down the wire,
171
465000
2000
07:59
about the speed of spreading honey, they say.
172
467000
3000
08:02
(Laughter)
173
470000
2000
08:04
Galaxies, 100 billion of them estimated in the universe.
174
472000
3000
08:07
100 billion. How many can we see? Five.
175
475000
3000
08:10
Five out of the 100 billion galaxies, with the naked eye,
176
478000
3000
08:13
and one of them is quite difficult to see unless you've got very good eyesight.
177
481000
4000
08:17
Radio waves. There's another thing.
178
485000
2000
08:19
Heinrich Hertz, when he discovered radio waves in 1887,
179
487000
3000
08:22
he called them radio waves because they radiated.
180
490000
2000
08:24
And somebody said to him,
181
492000
3000
08:27
"Well what's the point of these, Heinrich?
182
495000
2000
08:29
What's the point of these radio waves that you've found?"
183
497000
3000
08:32
And he said, "Well, I've no idea.
184
500000
2000
08:34
But I guess somebody will find a use for them someday."
185
502000
3000
08:37
And that's what they do, radio. That's what they discovered.
186
505000
4000
08:41
Anyway, so the biggest thing
187
509000
3000
08:44
that's invisible to us is what we don't know.
188
512000
2000
08:46
It is incredible how little we know.
189
514000
3000
08:49
Thomas Edison once said,
190
517000
2000
08:51
"We don't know one percent of one millionth
191
519000
2000
08:53
about anything."
192
521000
2000
08:55
And I've come to the conclusion --
193
523000
3000
08:58
because you've asked this other question, "What's another thing you can't see?"
194
526000
3000
09:01
The point, most of us. What's the point?
195
529000
3000
09:04
(Laughter)
196
532000
3000
09:07
(Applause)
197
535000
1000
09:08
You can't see a point. It's by definition dimensionless,
198
536000
3000
09:11
like an electron, oddly enough.
199
539000
3000
09:14
But the point, what I've got it down to,
200
542000
3000
09:17
is there are only two questions really worth asking.
201
545000
2000
09:19
"Why are we here?" and "What should we do about it while we are?
202
547000
5000
09:24
And to help you, I've got two things to leave you with, from two great philosophers,
203
552000
5000
09:29
perhaps two of the greatest philosopher thinkers of the 20th century,
204
557000
3000
09:32
one a mathematician and an engineer, and the other a poet.
205
560000
3000
09:35
The first is Ludwig Wittgenstein who said,
206
563000
4000
09:39
"I don't know why we are here.
207
567000
2000
09:41
But I'm pretty sure it's not in order to enjoy ourselves."
208
569000
3000
09:44
(Laughter)
209
572000
6000
09:50
He was a cheerful bastard wasn't he?
210
578000
2000
09:52
(Laughter)
211
580000
3000
09:55
And secondly and lastly, W.H. Auden,
212
583000
2000
09:57
one of my favorite poets, who said,
213
585000
2000
09:59
"We are here on earth
214
587000
3000
10:02
to help others.
215
590000
2000
10:04
What the others are here for, I've no idea."
216
592000
3000
10:07
(Laughter)
217
595000
2000
10:09
(Applause)
218
597000
7000
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
John Lloyd - ProducerJohn Lloyd helps make some of the cleverest television in the UK.
Why you should listen
John Lloyd seems to have known every brilliant and funny person in Britain, and his collaborations are legendary. He's been a fixture on the BBC for four decades, producing such classic comedies as Blackadder, Spitting Image, the BBC's Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and lately QI (short for "Quite Interesting"), hosted by Stephen Fry (read his Reddit AMA about it).
Lloyd has also written more than a dozen funny books -- including The Meaning of Liff, a collaboration with his friend Douglas Adams, which has been in print for 26 years.
John Lloyd | Speaker | TED.com