TED2013
Judy MacDonald Johnston: Prepare for a good end of life
Judy MacDonald Johnston: Pergatituni per nje fundjete te mire.
Filmed:
Readability: 3.4
1,595,161 views
Te mendosh per vdekjen eshte frikesuese, por paraplanifikimi eshte praktik dhe i jep me shume vend paqes se mendjes gjate diteve tona te fundit. Ne nje fjalim solemn dhe te miremenduar, Judy MacDonald Johnston ndan 5 praktika per planifikimin e mire te fundjetes.
Judy MacDonald Johnston - Entrepreneur
By day, Judy MacDonald Johnston develops children's reading programs. By night, she helps others maintain their quality of life as they near death. Full bio
By day, Judy MacDonald Johnston develops children's reading programs. By night, she helps others maintain their quality of life as they near death. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
What would be a good end of life?
0
528
3588
Cfare do mund te quanim nje fundjete te mire?
00:16
And I'm talking about the very end.
1
4116
1990
E kam fjalen per fundin perfundimtar.
00:18
I'm talking about dying.
2
6106
3733
E kam fjalen per vdekjen.
00:21
We all think a lot about how to live well.
3
9839
3757
Te gjithe ne mendojme per te jetuar mire.
00:25
I'd like to talk about increasing our chances of dying well.
4
13596
4432
Une kam deshire te flas per te rritur mundesite qe te vdesim mire.
00:30
I'm not a geriatrician.
5
18028
2120
Nuk jam nje gjeriatrik.
00:32
I design reading programs for preschoolers.
6
20148
2704
Une projektoj libra leximi per parashkollor.
00:34
What I know about this topic
7
22852
1826
Ajo qe di per kete subjekt
00:36
comes from a qualitative study with a sample size of two.
8
24678
4402
vjen nga nje studim kualitativ ne nje cift.
00:41
In the last few years, I helped two friends
9
29080
2705
Gjate viteve te fundit, kam ndihmuar dy miq
00:43
have the end of life they wanted.
10
31785
2241
qe te kene fundin e jetes qe ata deshirojne
00:46
Jim and Shirley Modini spent their 68 years of marriage
11
34026
3328
Jim dhe Shirley Modini kaluan 68 vitet e marteses tyre
00:49
living off the grid on their 1,700-acre ranch
12
37354
2974
duke jetuar pa elektricitet ne fermen e tyre 1.700-aker
00:52
in the mountains of Sonoma County.
13
40328
2091
ne malet e rrethit Sonoma.
00:54
They kept just enough livestock to make ends meet
14
42419
3924
Ata mbajten thjesht mjaftueshem bageti
00:58
so that the majority of their ranch would remain a refuge
15
46343
3307
ne menyre qe shumica e fermes tyre te mbetej nje strehe
01:01
for the bears and lions and so many other things
16
49650
2233
per arinjte dhe luanet dhe per shume gjera te tjera
01:03
that lived there.
17
51883
1607
qe jetonin aty.
01:05
This was their dream.
18
53490
2013
Kjo ishte endrra e tyre.
01:07
I met Jim and Shirley in their 80s.
19
55503
3283
I njoha Jim dhe Shirley rreth 80-at e tyre.
01:10
They were both only children who chose not to have kids.
20
58786
3481
Ishin te dy femije te vetem qe kishin zgjedhur mos kishin femije.
01:14
As we became friends, I became their trustee
21
62267
2579
Gjate kohes qe u miqesuam, une u bera e besuara e tyre
01:16
and their medical advocate,
22
64846
1829
dhe avokatja mjekesore,
01:18
but more importantly, I became
23
66675
2008
por me e rendesishmja, une u bera
01:20
the person who managed their end-of-life experiences.
24
68683
3759
personi qe administroi eksperiencat e fund-jetes se tyre.
01:24
And we learned a few things about how to have a good end.
25
72442
3673
Dhe ne mesuam disa gjera se si te kesh nje fund te mire.
01:28
In their final years, Jim and Shirley
26
76115
1971
Ne vitet e tyre te fundit, Jim dhe Shirley
01:30
faced cancers, fractures, infections, neurological illness.
27
78086
4000
u perballen me kancerin, frakturat, infeksione si dhe semundjetj neurologjike.
01:34
It's true.
28
82086
1073
Eshte e vertete.
01:35
At the end, our bodily functions
29
83159
2237
Ne fund, funksioni i trupit tone
01:37
and independence are declining to zero.
30
85396
2781
dhe pavaresia bie ne zero.
01:40
What we found is that, with a plan and the right people,
31
88177
3154
Ajo cfare zbuluam eshte se, me nje plan dhe me njerezit e duhur,
01:43
quality of life can remain high.
32
91331
3554
cilesia e jetes mund te qendroje e larte.
01:46
The beginning of the end is triggered
33
94885
1439
Fillimi i fundit shkaktohet
01:48
by a mortality awareness event, and during this time,
34
96324
2891
nga nje rast ndergjegjesimi mbi vdekshmerine, dhe gjate kesaj kohe
01:51
Jim and Shirley chose ACR nature preserves
35
99215
4238
Jim dhe Shirley zgjodhen ruajtjen e natyres ACR
01:55
to take their ranch over when they were gone.
36
103453
2532
per te marre persiper fermen e tyre kur ata te largohen.
01:57
This gave them the peace of mind to move forward.
37
105985
3580
Kjo i dha qetesine atyre per te ecur para.
02:01
It might be a diagnosis. It might be your intuition.
38
109565
3476
Mund ta quajme nje diagnostikim por mund te jete dhe intuita jote.
02:05
But one day, you're going to say, "This thing is going to get me."
39
113041
3216
Por nje dite, ti do thuash "kjo dicka do me marri mua".
02:08
Jim and Shirley spent this time
40
116257
1556
Jim dhe Shirley e kaluan kete kohe
02:09
letting friends know that their end was near
41
117813
2003
duke i lejuar miqte e tyre te dine se fundi i tyre ishte afer
02:11
and that they were okay with that.
42
119816
5056
dhe se ata nuk e kishin problem kete.
02:16
Dying from cancer and dying from neurological illness
43
124872
2849
Vdekja nga kanceri dhe vdekja nga nje semundje neurologjike
02:19
are different.
44
127721
1571
jane te ndryshme.
02:21
In both cases, last days are about quiet reassurance.
45
129292
4302
Ne te dyja rastet, ditet e fundit jane disi qetesuese.
02:25
Jim died first. He was conscious until the very end,
46
133594
3759
Jim vdiq i pari. Ai ishte i ndergjegjshem deri ne fund,
02:29
but on his last day he couldn't talk.
47
137353
2187
por diten e fundit ai nuk mund te fliste.
02:31
Through his eyes, we knew when he needed to hear again,
48
139540
2113
Duke i lexuar syte, ne kuptonim se kur ai kishte nevoje ta degjonte,
02:33
"It is all set, Jim. We're going to take care of Shirley
49
141653
2836
"Gjithcka eshte ne rregull, Jim. Ne do kujdesemi per Shirley
02:36
right here at the ranch,
50
144489
1169
ketu ne ferme,
02:37
and ACR's going to take care of your wildlife forever."
51
145658
3829
dhe ACR do kujdeset pergjithmone per kafshet e egra te fermes tende.
02:41
From this experience I'm going to share five practices.
52
149487
2692
Nga kjo eksperience, do ndaj me ju pese praktika.
02:44
I've put worksheets online,
53
152179
1815
Kam vendosur ne rrjet plane,
02:45
so if you'd like, you can plan your own end.
54
153994
2783
dhe nese deshironi, ju mund te planifikoni vete fundin tuaj.
02:48
It starts with a plan.
55
156777
2467
E gjitha fillon me nje plan.
02:51
Most people say, "I'd like to die at home."
56
159244
2517
Shumica e njerezve thone, "do kisha deshire te vdisja ne shtepi."
02:53
Eighty percent of Americans die in a hospital
57
161761
2225
Tetedhjete perqind e Amerikaneve vdesin ne nje spital
02:55
or a nursing home.
58
163986
1504
ose ne nje azil.
02:57
Saying we'd like to die at home is not a plan.
59
165490
3655
Duke thene se deshirojme te vdesim ne shtepi nuk eshte plan.
03:01
A lot of people say, "If I get like that, just shoot me."
60
169145
3217
Shume njerez thone, "Nese behem ashtu, me mire me qelloni."
03:04
This is not a plan either; this is illegal.
61
172362
2496
As ky nuk eshte nje plan; kjo eshte e paligjshme.
03:06
(Laughter)
62
174858
4054
(te qeshura)
03:10
A plan involves answering
63
178912
2827
Nje plan perfshin pergjigjet
03:13
straightforward questions about the end you want.
64
181739
2358
e pyetjeve te drejtperdrejta per sa i perket fundit qe deshironi.
03:16
Where do you want to be when you're no longer independent?
65
184097
2697
Ku deshironi te gjendeni kur nuk mund te jeni me te pavarur?
03:18
What do you want in terms of medical intervention?
66
186794
2897
Cfare deshironi per termat e nderhyrjes mjekesore?
03:21
And who's going to make sure your plan is followed?
67
189691
2374
Dhe kush do jete ai qe te realizoje planin tuaj te ndiqet?
03:24
You will need advocates.
68
192065
1477
Do t'ju duhen avokate.
03:25
Having more than one increases your chance
69
193542
1631
Duke pasur me shume se nje, rrit mundesite tuaja
03:27
of getting the end you want.
70
195173
1760
per te pasur fundin qe deshironi.
03:28
Don't assume the natural choice is your spouse or child.
71
196933
2580
Mos supozoni se zgjedhja natyrale eshte bashkeshkorti ose femija.
03:31
You want someone who has the time and proximity
72
199513
2325
Ju duhet dikur qe ka kohen dhe afersine
03:33
to do this job well, and you want someone
73
201838
2591
qe te realizoje kete pune mire, dhe ju duhet dikush
03:36
who can work with people under the pressure
74
204429
2239
qe mund te punoje me njerez nen presionin
03:38
of an ever-changing situation.
75
206668
2361
e nje situate te ndryshimit te perhershem.
03:41
Hospital readiness is critical.
76
209029
1694
Gatishmeria e Spitalit eshte kritike.
03:42
You are likely to be headed to the emergency room,
77
210723
1904
Me shume mundesi do ju drejtojne ne nje urgjence,
03:44
and you want to get this right.
78
212627
1779
dhe ju duhet ta beni kete ne menyre te sakte.
03:46
Prepare a one-page summary of your medical history,
79
214406
2863
Pergatisni nje permbledhje ne nje faqe letre te historise tuaj mjekesore,
03:49
medications and physician information.
80
217269
2288
te barnave farmaceutike dhe informacion per mjeket.
03:51
Put this in a really bright envelope
81
219557
2274
Vendoseni kete nje zarf shume te ndritshem
03:53
with copies of your insurance cards, your power of attorney,
82
221831
2836
me fotokopje te siguracionit tuaj, proces-verbalin,
03:56
and your do-not-resuscitate order.
83
224667
2400
dhe urdherin tuaj te mos-ringjalljes.
03:59
Have advocates keep a set in their car.
84
227067
1622
Sigurohuni qe avokatet te mbajne nje kopje ne makine.
04:00
Tape a set to your refrigerator.
85
228689
1887
Vendosni dhe nje kopje ne frigoriferin tuaj.
04:02
When you show up in the E.R. with this packet,
86
230576
2235
Kur te shfaqeni ne Urgjence me kete pako,
04:04
your admission is streamlined in a material way.
87
232811
3723
pohimi juaj eshte i efektshem ne nje menyre materialiste.
04:08
You're going to need caregivers.
88
236534
2605
Do ju duhen kujdestare
04:11
You'll need to assess your personality and financial situation
89
239139
3630
Do ju duhet te vleresoni personalitetin tuaj si dhe situaten ekonomike
04:14
to determine whether an elder care community
90
242769
3024
per te vendosur nese nje komunitet per kujdesjen e te moshuarve
04:17
or staying at home is your best choice.
91
245793
2399
ose qendrimi ne shtepi eshte zgjedhja juaj me e mire.
04:20
In either case, do not settle.
92
248192
2707
Ne secilin rast, mos u pajtoni.
04:22
We went through a number of not-quite-right caregivers
93
250899
3366
Kemi kaluar nje numer shume te madh te kujdestareve jo-te mire
04:26
before we found the perfect team
94
254265
2600
para se te gjejme ekipin perfekt
04:28
led by Marsha,
95
256865
2239
i cili drejtohet nga Marsha,
04:31
who won't let you win at bingo just because you're dying
96
259104
6722
qe nuk do ju lejojne te fitoni bingon vetem se ju po vdisni
04:37
but will go out and take videos of your ranch for you
97
265826
2576
por do shkojne te filmojne fermen tuaj
04:40
when you can't get out there,
98
268402
2426
kur ju nuk mund te dilni atje jashte,
04:42
and Caitlin, who won't let you skip your morning exercises
99
270828
2727
dhe Caitlin, qe s'do te lejoje te anashkaloni ushtrimet e mengjesit
04:45
but knows when you need to hear
100
273555
1606
por di kur ju keni nevoje te degjoni
04:47
that your wife is in good hands.
101
275161
3592
se gruaja juaj eshte ne duar te sigurta.
04:50
Finally, last words.
102
278753
2627
Perfundimisht, disa fjale.
04:53
What do you want to hear at the very end,
103
281380
1351
Cfare keni deshire te degjoni ne fundin tuaj
04:54
and from whom would you like to hear it?
104
282731
2608
dhe nga kush deshironi ta degjoni?
04:57
In my experience, you'll want to hear
105
285339
2327
Nga eksperienca ime, do doni te degjoni
04:59
that whatever you're worried about is going to be fine.
106
287666
4002
se per gjithcka qe ju shqeteson, do shkoje mire.
05:03
When you believe it's okay to let go, you will.
107
291668
3952
Dhe kur te besoni qe eshte ne rregull te largoheni, do largoheni.
05:07
So, this is a topic that normally inspires fear and denial.
108
295620
5870
Pra, kjo eshte nje teme e cila normalisht shkakton frike dhe mohim.
05:13
What I've learned
109
301490
2106
Ajo cka kam mesuar
05:15
is if we put some time into planning our end of life,
110
303596
2935
eshte se nese i japim pak kohe planifikimit te fund jetes,
05:18
we have the best chance of maintaining our quality of life.
111
306531
3414
kemi mundesite me te mira per te mirembajtur cilesine e jetes.
05:21
Here are Jim and Shirley just after deciding
112
309945
2580
Ketu eshte Jim dhe Shirley pak pasin kane vendosur
05:24
who would take care of their ranch.
113
312525
2472
se kush do kujdesej per fermen e tyre.
05:26
Here's Jim just a few weeks before he died,
114
314997
3360
Ketu eshte Jim disa jave para se te vdiste,
05:30
celebrating a birthday he didn't expect to see.
115
318357
3374
duke festuar nje ditelindje te cilen nuk besonte qe do e shikonte.
05:33
And here's Shirley just a few days before she died
116
321731
4018
Dhe ketu eshte Shirley disa dite para se te vdiste
05:37
being read an article in that day's paper
117
325749
2011
qe po i lexonin nje artikull te gazetes se asaj dite
05:39
about the significance of the wildlife refuge
118
327760
2325
per rendesine e strehes se kafsheve te egra
05:42
at the Modini ranch.
119
330085
2256
ne fermen Modini.
05:44
Jim and Shirley had a good end of life,
120
332341
2753
Jim dhe Shirley paten nje fund jete te mire,
05:47
and by sharing their story with you,
121
335094
2433
dhe duke ndare historine e tyre me ju,
05:49
I hope to increase our chances of doing the same.
122
337527
2855
Shpresoj te rrise shanset tona per te bere te njejten gje.
05:52
Thank you.
123
340382
1287
Faleminderit.
05:53
(Applause)
124
341669
5079
(Duartrokitje)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Judy MacDonald Johnston - EntrepreneurBy day, Judy MacDonald Johnston develops children's reading programs. By night, she helps others maintain their quality of life as they near death.
Why you should listen
Judy MacDonald Johnston is the Publisher and Cofounder of Blue Lake Children's Publishing, which develops educational reading tools for preschoolers through a program called the Tessy and Tab Reading Club. Johnston's credo, "love words early," and her focus on the earliest years of life, is an interesting foil for her other passion: Planning for end of life. Johnston's side project, Good [End of] Life, deals not with happy babies decoding symbols, but with a much more morbid topic: Death. Good [End of] Life is a set of online worksheets and practices that aim to help deal with difficult questions -- like who should speak for you if you cannot speak, and whether to fill out a do-not-resuscitate form -- before it's too late.
In the past 15 years alone Johnston has founded two other companies in addition to Blue Lake Children's Publishing: PrintPaks, a children's software company, and Kibu, a social networking site for teenage girls. Previously Johnston was a Worldwide Project Marketing Manager at Hewlett Packard.
Judy MacDonald Johnston | Speaker | TED.com