TEDSalon NY2013
Amy Webb: How I hacked online dating
艾咪．韋伯: 我如何破解網路交友
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艾咪．韋伯 (Amy Webb) 曾經在網路交友上失敗過，她喜歡的對象沒有回信給她，而且她的個人資料都吸引到怪人(或更糟的)。所以，像其它數據狂一樣：她開始製作試算表。這是一個關於她如何在網路交友上成功的故事 ─ 充滿挫折、歡笑，和改變生命的結局。
Amy Webb - Founder and CEO, Future Today Institute
Amy Webb is a futurist and founder of the Future Today Institute, and is the award-winning author of three books, including “Data: A Love Story” and “The Signals Are Talking: Why Today’s Fringe Is Tomorrow’s Mainstream.” Full bio
Amy Webb is a futurist and founder of the Future Today Institute, and is the award-winning author of three books, including “Data: A Love Story” and “The Signals Are Talking: Why Today’s Fringe Is Tomorrow’s Mainstream.” Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
So my name is Amy Webb,
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我的名字是艾咪韋伯
00:15
and a few years ago I found myself at the end
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幾年前，我發現自己再次走到
00:17
of yet another fantastic relationship
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另一段美好戀情的盡頭
00:20
that came burning down in a spectacular fashion.
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當然最終也壯烈的結束了
00:23
And I thought, you know, what's wrong with me?
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接著我想：「我是怎麼了？」
00:26
I don't understand why this keeps happening.
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為什麼每段感情總以失敗告終
00:28
So I asked everybody in my life
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所以我問了我身邊的人
00:30
what they thought.
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聽聽他們的想法
00:32
I turned to my grandmother,
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我問了我祖母
00:33
who always had plenty of advice,
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她總是有一堆建議
00:36
and she said, "Stop being so picky.
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她回答我：「不要這麼挑剔！
00:39
You've got to date around.
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妳得出去約會
00:40
And most importantly,
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最重要的是
00:42
true love will find you when you least expect it."
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真愛總是在不經意時出現」
00:46
Now as it turns out,
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事實上
00:48
I'm somebody who thinks a lot about data,
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我是個非常相信根據的人
00:50
as you'll soon find.
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我想你很快就會發現這點
00:52
I am constantly swimming in numbers
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我的生活跟數字、公式
00:55
and formulas and charts.
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還有圖表脫不了關係
00:56
I also have a very tight-knit family,
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我有一個非常棒的家庭
00:59
and I'm very, very close with my sister,
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我和我的姐姐十分親密
01:01
and as a result, I wanted to have
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因此，我夢想著能擁有一個
01:02
the same type of family when I grew up.
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像我家一樣美好的家庭
01:04
So I'm at the end of this bad breakup,
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所以我最終是慘烈地分手了
01:06
I'm 30 years old,
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我現在三十歲
01:08
I figure I'm probably going to have
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我認為至少要交往六個月
01:09
to date somebody for about six months
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才能夠確定這個人
01:11
before I'm ready to get monogamous
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是你未來的伴侶
01:13
and before we can sort of cohabitate,
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開始同居生活前也需要一點時間
01:15
and we have to have that happen for a while before we can get engaged.
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同居過一陣子後，才是訂婚
01:18
And if I want to start having children by the time I'm 35,
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假設我想在35歲時生小孩
01:21
that meant that I would have had to have been
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代表我必須在
01:23
on my way to marriage five years ago.
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五年前開始計劃結婚
01:26
So that wasn't going to work.
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很明顯地，這行不通
01:27
If my strategy was to least-expect my way
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如果找到真愛的方法是減少期待
01:30
into true love, then the variable that I had
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那唯一的變數
01:32
to deal with was serendipity.
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就是看緣份了
01:34
In short, I was trying to figure out, well,
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簡單來說，我想搞清楚
01:36
what's the probability of my finding Mr. Right?
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我找到真命天子的機率有多少？
01:40
Well, at the time I was living in the city of Philadelphia,
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我住在費城的時候
01:42
and it's a big city, and I figured,
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它是個大城市，而且我發現
01:45
in this entire place, there are lots of possibilities.
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在這個地方充滿了機會
01:48
So again, I started doing some math.
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所以，我又算了一下
01:50
Population of Philadelphia: It has 1.5 million people.
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費城的人口是150萬人
01:54
I figure about half of that are men,
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我推估半數是男性
01:55
so that takes the number down to 750,000.
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因此男性至少有75萬名
01:58
I'm looking for a guy between the ages of 30 and 36,
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我的目標是30到36歲之間的男性
02:01
which was only four percent of the population,
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大概只佔了百分之四
02:04
so now I'm dealing with the possibility of 30,000 men.
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所以只剩下3萬人
02:07
I was looking for somebody who was Jewish,
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我想要找猶太人
02:08
because that's what I am and that was important to me.
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因為我自己就是，而且這對我很重要
02:11
That's only 2.3 percent of the population.
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但他們只佔人口的百分之2.3
02:13
I figure I'm attracted to maybe one out of 10
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我假設這之中有1/10的人
02:15
of those men,
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會喜歡我
02:18
and there was no way I was going
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不過我跟打高爾夫的
02:20
to deal with somebody who was an avid golfer.
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完全合不來
02:22
So that basically meant there were 35 men for me
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意思就是說只剩35個人
02:25
that I could possibly date
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可能成為我約會的對象
02:28
in the entire city of Philadelphia.
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在整個費城！
02:32
In the meantime, my very large Jewish family
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同時，在我的猶太大家族中
02:35
was already all married and well on their way
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所有人都已經結婚
02:38
to having lots and lots of children,
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準備生很多很多小孩
02:40
and I felt like I was under tremendous peer pressure
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這更讓我感覺到
02:42
to get my life going already.
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必須快點成家的壓力
02:44
So if I have two possible strategies at this point
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所以對此我有
02:46
I'm sort of figuring out.
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兩個對策
02:47
One, I can take my grandmother's advice
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一、聽我祖母的話
02:50
and sort of least-expect my way
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不要抱太大期待
02:52
into maybe bumping into the one
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以為能在費城150萬人口中
02:55
out of 35 possible men in the entire
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與那35個人
02:57
1.5 million-person city of Philadelphia,
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在路上巧遇
03:01
or I could try online dating.
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又或者試試網路交友
03:04
Now, I like the idea of online dating,
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現在我比較喜歡網路交友這個方法
03:06
because it's predicated on an algorithm,
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因為這可以用算式算出來
03:08
and that's really just a simple way of saying
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這很非常地簡單
03:10
I've got a problem, I'm going to use some data,
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當你遇到問題，只要運用一些數據
03:12
run it through a system
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透過系統的計算
03:13
and get to a solution.
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最後得到解決方法
03:16
So online dating is the second most popular way
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所以網路交友成了現代人找對象時
03:18
that people now meet each other,
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第二受歡迎的方法
03:20
but as it turns out, algorithms have been around
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但是計算的方法
03:22
for thousands of years in almost every culture.
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在每個文化中其實已經存在好幾千年了
03:25
In fact, in Judaism, there were matchmakers
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事實上，猶太教從很久以前開始
03:28
a long time ago, and though
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就有媒人了
03:29
they didn't have an explicit algorithm per se,
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雖然沒有明確的公式
03:32
they definitely were running through formulas in their heads,
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他們一定也在腦裡計算過
03:34
like, is the girl going to like the boy?
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像是，那女孩會喜歡那男孩嗎？
03:36
Are the families going to get along?
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他們的家人會處得來嗎？
03:38
What's the rabbi going to say?
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拉比會怎麼想?
(註: 拉比 是猶太人生活宗教上的老師)
(註: 拉比 是猶太人生活宗教上的老師)
03:39
Are they going to start having children right away?
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他們會不會很快就有孩子?
03:42
And the matchmaker would sort of think through all of this,
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媒人通常會在腦中想過這些問題後
03:45
put two people together, and that would be the end of it.
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把兩人湊成一對
03:47
So in my case, I thought,
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我猜想，像我的情形
03:49
well, will data and an algorithm
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數據和算式真能夠幫我找到
03:52
lead me to my Prince Charming?
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我的白馬王子嗎？
03:54
So I decided to sign on.
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我決定註冊網路交友
03:56
Now, there was one small catch.
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這裡有一個小小的插曲
03:57
As I'm signing on to the various dating websites,
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當我在一堆交友網站註冊後
04:00
as it happens, I was really, really busy.
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想當然，我變得相當忙
04:02
But that actually wasn't the biggest problem.
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但這還不是最大的問題
04:05
The biggest problem is that I hate
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最困擾我的是
04:07
filling out questionnaires of any kind,
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我痛恨填問卷
04:09
and I certainly don't like questionnaires
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更不要說那些問卷根本
04:11
that are like Cosmo quizzes.
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就像是心理測驗
04:13
So I just copied and pasted from my résumé.
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因此我就直接從履歷複製貼上
04:16
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
04:21
So in the descriptive part up top,
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在最上方的自我描述那一欄
04:24
I said that I was an award-winning journalist
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我填上我是個得過獎的記者
04:26
and a future thinker.
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和未來思想家
04:28
When I was asked about fun activities and
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當它問到我的興趣和理想的對象
04:30
my ideal date, I said monetization
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我回答賺錢
04:33
and fluency in Japanese.
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和流利的日文
04:36
I talked a lot about JavaScript.
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我寫了許多有關程式語言的事
04:38
So obviously this was not the best way
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但這似乎不是展現自己最好一面的
04:42
to put my most sexy foot forward.
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的好方法
04:45
But the real failure was that
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但最糟的是
04:47
there were plenty of men for me to date.
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那裡有一堆可以跟我約會的男人
04:50
These algorithms had a sea full of men
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這些運算法則提供了一堆
04:52
that wanted to take me out on lots of dates --
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要約我出去的男人
04:55
what turned out to be truly awful dates.
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雖然那些約會的結果都不太好
04:59
There was this guy Steve, the I.T. guy.
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有一位叫史帝夫的男人，是位科技人
05:01
The algorithm matched us up
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運算法則把我們湊成一對
05:03
because we share a love of gadgets,
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因為我們都喜歡小玩意
05:05
we share a love of math and data and '80s music,
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還有數學和80年代的音樂
05:09
and so I agreed to go out with him.
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所以我也同意跟他出去
05:11
So Steve the I.T. guy invited me out
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史帝夫這位科技人約我去
05:13
to one of Philadelphia's white-table-cloth,
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費城一家的高檔餐廳
05:15
extremely expensive restaurants.
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那裡消費非常昂貴
05:17
And we went in, and right off the bat,
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我們到了以後
05:19
our conversation really wasn't taking flight,
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並沒有講到什麼話
05:22
but he was ordering a lot of food.
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他只是點了很多食物
05:24
In fact, he didn't even bother looking at the menu.
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事實上他連餐單都沒瞄過一眼
05:26
He was ordering multiple appetizers,
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點了一堆開胃菜
05:28
multiple entrées, for me as well,
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一堆主菜，當然也替我點了
05:31
and suddenly there are piles and piles of food on our table,
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突然之間，桌上擺滿了食物
05:33
also lots and lots of bottles of wine.
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和一瓶又一瓶的酒
05:36
So we're nearing the end of our conversation
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在我們快要沒話講
05:38
and the end of dinner, and I've decided
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也快吃完飯時，我默默想
05:39
Steve the I.T. guy and I are really just not meant for each other,
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我們兩個並不適合彼此
05:42
but we'll part ways as friends,
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但我們不會分開的太難看
05:44
when he gets up to go to the bathroom,
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他去廁所的時候
05:47
and in the meantime the bill comes to our table.
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服務生將賬單送到桌上
05:50
And listen, I'm a modern woman.
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聽好了，我是個現代女性
05:53
I am totally down with splitting the bill.
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當然可以接受各付各的
05:56
But then Steve the I.T. guy didn't come back. (Gasping)
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但是史帝夫那位科技人沒有回來
06:00
And that was my entire month's rent.
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那足足是我整個月的房租
06:04
So needless to say, I was not having a good night.
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不用說，那不是個美好的晚餐
06:08
So I run home, I call my mother, I call my sister,
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所以我跑回家，打給我媽媽和姐姐
06:11
and as I do, at the end of each one of these
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就像每次經歷過一場
06:14
terrible, terrible dates,
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糟糕的約會後一樣
06:16
I regale them with the details.
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告訴她們所有細節
06:18
And they say to me,
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她們告訴我
06:20
"Stop complaining."
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「不要再抱怨了!」
06:22
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
06:23
"You're just being too picky."
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「妳就是太挑剔了!」
06:26
So I said, fine, from here on out
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所以我決定從此之後
06:28
I'm only going on dates where I know
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我只去我知道的地方約會
06:29
that there's wi-fi, and I'm bringing my laptop.
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要有無線網路，我還要帶著筆電
06:31
I'm going to shove it into my bag,
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我會把它塞進我的包包
06:33
and I'm going to have this email template,
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我會用這個電子郵件範本
06:35
and I'm going to fill it out and collect information
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填上空格，收集些資料
06:37
on all these different data points during the date
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這樣我就能透過這些資料
06:40
to prove to everybody that empirically,
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以親身經歷向大家證明
06:42
these dates really are terrible. (Laughter)
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這些約會有多糟 (笑聲)
06:44
So I started tracking things like
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我開始注意那些
06:46
really stupid, awkward, sexual remarks;
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笨拙、尷尬、帶有性意味的言論
06:49
bad vocabulary;
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不當用詞
06:51
the number of times a man forced me to high-five him.
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逼我和他擊掌的次數
06:54
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
06:56
So I started to crunch some numbers,
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我開始統計這些數字
07:00
and that allowed me to make some correlations.
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接著我發現了一些關聯性
07:03
So as it turns out,
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例如說
07:06
for some reason, men who drink Scotch
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不知道為什麼 喝蘇格蘭威士忌的男人
07:09
reference kinky sex immediately.
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總令我聯想到性變態
07:11
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
07:13
Well, it turns out that these
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當然這不代表
07:16
probably weren't bad guys.
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他們真的是壞人
07:17
There were just bad for me.
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他們只是不適合我
07:19
And as it happens, the algorithms that were setting us up,
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將我們湊在一起的交友網站
07:23
they weren't bad either.
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也沒有錯
07:24
These algorithms were doing exactly
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它們只是照著
07:26
what they were designed to do,
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一定的公式運作而已
07:27
which was to take our user-generated information,
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蒐集使用者的基本資料
07:30
in my case, my résumé,
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像是我的履歷表
07:32
and match it up with other people's information.
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和其他人的資料做配對
07:35
See, the real problem here is that,
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1633
所以真正的問題是
07:36
while the algorithms work just fine,
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運算法則可以正常運作
07:38
you and I don't, when confronted
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我們卻作不到
07:40
with blank windows where we're supposed
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當面對需要填入
07:42
to input our information online.
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個人資料的空白視窗時
07:44
Very few of us have the ability
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我們之中只有極少數的人
07:46
to be totally and brutally honest with ourselves.
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能夠全然地坦白面對
07:50
The other problem is that these websites are asking us
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另一個問題是，交友網站總是問一些問題
07:52
questions like, are you a dog person or a cat person?
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像是，你喜歡狗還是貓？
07:55
Do you like horror films or romance films?
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你喜歡恐怖片還是愛情片？
07:58
I'm not looking for a pen pal.
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我又不是要找筆友
08:00
I'm looking for a husband. Right?
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我是要找老公，不是嗎？
08:02
So there's a certain amount of superficiality in that data.
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那裡頭淨是一些膚淺的資料
08:05
So I said fine, I've got a new plan.
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我想說好吧，我有一個新的計劃
08:08
I'm going to keep using these online dating sites,
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我會繼續用這些交友網站
08:10
but I'm going to treat them as databases,
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但僅僅是把它當成資料庫
08:12
and rather than waiting for an algorithm to set me up,
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另外，比起讓系統替我配對
08:15
I think I'm going to try reverse-engineering this entire system.
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我決定反向操作這整個系統
08:19
So knowing that there was superficial data
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因為在知道它僅靠一些膚淺問題
08:22
that was being used to match me up with other people,
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幫我找尋適合的對象之後
08:24
I decided instead to ask my own questions.
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我決定自己提出自己的問題
08:27
What was every single possible thing
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1638
在我找另一半時
08:28
that I could think of that I was looking for in a mate?
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2903
會想到哪些條件呢？
08:31
So I started writing and writing and writing,
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4534
我開始不停地寫
08:36
and at the end, I had amassed
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2302
最後，我累積了
08:38
72 different data points.
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72個不同的條件
08:41
I wanted somebody was Jew...ish,
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2406
我想找猶太人
08:43
so I was looking for somebody who had the same
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找一個跟我有相同背景
08:45
background and thoughts on our culture,
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2561
相同文化觀的人
08:47
but wasn't going to force me to go to shul
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1573
但前提是每週五、週六
08:49
every Friday and Saturday.
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2333
他不會逼我去猶太教會
08:51
I wanted somebody who worked hard,
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1590
我想找認真工作的人
08:53
because work for me is extremely important,
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1884
因為工作對我來說相當重要
08:55
but not too hard.
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不過也不能太過火
08:56
For me, the hobbies that I have
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524835
1680
對我而言，我的嗜好就只是
08:58
are really just new work projects that I've launched.
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2836
手頭上正在進行的工作
09:01
I also wanted somebody who not only wanted two children,
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529351
3165
我想找個打算生兩個小孩
09:04
but was going to have the same attitude toward parenting that I do,
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2895
教養觀念和我一樣的人
09:07
so somebody who was going to be totally okay
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1931
一個不反對我們的小孩
09:09
with forcing our child to start taking piano lessons at age three,
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3535
三歲開始學鋼琴
09:12
and also maybe computer science classes
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3656
如果可能的話
09:16
if we could wrangle it.
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1904
還要上電腦課
09:18
So things like that, but I also wanted somebody
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1732
像是這些問題，還有最好是個
09:20
who would go to far-flung, exotic places,
228
548169
2063
見多識廣的人，旅行過特別的地方
09:22
like Petra, Jordan.
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1628
像是佩特拉、約旦
09:23
I also wanted somebody who would weigh
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1505
還有，無論何時
09:25
20 pounds more than me at all times,
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1928
無論我多重
09:27
regardless of what I weighed.
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1370
他都必須比我重個20磅
09:28
(Laughter)
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2402
(笑聲)
09:31
So I now have these 72 different data points,
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現在，我有72個條件
09:34
which, to be fair, is a lot.
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2046
老實說，實在很多
09:36
So what I did was, I went through
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1382
我看了看那張清單
09:37
and I prioritized that list.
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1822
排出優先順序
09:39
I broke it into a top tier and a second tier of points,
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3953
我把整份清單分為兩部分
09:43
and I ranked everything starting at 100
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3225
我將每樣條件從100分開始打分數
09:46
and going all the way down to 91,
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1980
最低91分
09:48
and listing things like I was looking for somebody who was really smart,
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3240
並且寫下具體條件，像是聰明
09:51
who would challenge and stimulate me,
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1712
能夠挑戰和激勵我
09:53
and balancing that with a second tier
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2256
跟第二部分的條件
09:55
and a second set of points.
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2025
做平衡
09:57
These things were also important to me
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1405
這些條件對我而言當然也很重要
09:59
but not necessarily deal-breakers.
246
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4816
但是並沒有那麼絕對
10:04
So once I had all this done,
247
592001
1421
在我完成之後
10:05
I then built a scoring system,
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1809
我建立了一個記分系統
10:07
because what I wanted to do
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2623
因為我想做的
10:09
was to sort of mathematically calculate
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597854
1850
就像是數學計算
10:11
whether or not I thought the guy that I found online
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2506
計算出我在網路上找到的這個男人
10:14
would be a match with me.
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1447
是不是適合我
10:15
I figured there would be a minimum of 700 points
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2443
根據我的記分系統，要達到700分
10:18
before I would agree to email somebody
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606100
1546
我才會寫電子郵件給對方
10:19
or respond to an email message.
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2166
或是回信
10:21
For 900 points, I'd agree to go out on a date,
256
609812
2002
900分代表可以跟他出去
10:23
and I wouldn't even consider any kind of relationship
257
611814
2681
但是不到1,500分的話
10:26
before somebody had crossed the 1,500 point threshold.
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4188
我就不會考慮開始一段關係
10:30
Well, as it turns out, this worked pretty well.
259
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2872
這方法非常的成功
10:33
So I go back online now.
260
621555
1809
因此，我從新回到網路世界
10:35
I found Jewishdoc57
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623364
2755
我找到Jewishdoc57
10:38
who's incredibly good-looking, incredibly well-spoken,
262
626119
2937
他長的很帥，很會說話
10:41
he had hiked Mt. Fuji,
263
629056
1718
他爬過富士山
10:42
he had walked along the Great Wall.
264
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1742
走過長城
10:44
He likes to travel as long as it doesn't involve a cruise ship.
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3116
只要不是搭郵輪，他喜歡旅遊
10:47
And I thought, I've done it!
266
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2738
我心想，我做到了!
10:50
I've cracked the code.
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2064
我破解了
10:52
I have just found the Jewish Prince Charming
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640434
3770
我找到我夢想中美滿家庭
10:56
of my family's dreams.
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2218
的猶太王子
10:58
There was only one problem:
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2156
只有一個問題
11:00
He didn't like me back.
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3309
他並不喜歡我
11:03
And I guess the one variable that I haven't considered
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3086
我想我忘了還有一個變數
11:06
is the competition.
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1893
競爭
11:08
Who are all of the other women
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1488
在這些交友網站上的其他女人
11:10
on these dating sites?
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658354
2445
她們是誰?
11:12
I found SmileyGirl1978.
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3704
我找到SmileyGirl1978
11:16
She said she was a "fun girl who is Happy and Outgoing."
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664503
2829
她表示自己是個風趣外向的女孩
11:19
She listed her job as teacher.
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667332
1442
她的工作欄寫著老師
11:20
She said she is "silly, nice and friendly."
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668774
2606
她說自己傻傻的、親切好相處
11:23
She likes to make people laugh "alot."
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671380
2449
喜歡逗人笑
11:25
At this moment I knew, clicking after profile
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673829
2442
這瞬間，我懂了
11:28
after profile after profile that looked like this,
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676271
2051
看了一個又一個類似這樣的資料後
11:30
that I needed to do some market research.
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678322
2176
我想我必須做些市場調查
11:32
So I created 10 fake male profiles.
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3280
因此我註冊了10個假的男性帳號
11:35
Now, before I lose all of you --
285
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2944
在你們準備要唾棄我之前
11:38
(Laughter) --
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686722
1753
(笑聲)
11:40
understand that I did this
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3588
我必須澄清我這樣做
11:44
strictly to gather data
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2137
純粹只是為了蒐集
11:46
about everybody else in the system.
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694200
1748
這個系統裡其他人的資料
11:47
I didn't carry on crazy Catfish-style relationships with anybody.
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4195
我沒有戲弄任何人
11:52
I really was just scraping their data.
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700143
2013
我真的只是蒐集資料
11:54
But I didn't want everybody's data.
292
702156
1968
不過我並不需要所有人的
11:56
I only wanted data on the women
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704124
1883
我只需要那些
11:58
who were going to be attracted
294
706007
1564
會喜歡上
11:59
to the type of man that I really, really wanted to marry. (Laughter)
295
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3234
我想嫁的男人的那些女人 (笑聲)
12:02
When I released these men into the wild,
296
710805
3595
我剛開始用這些假帳號時
12:06
I did follow some rules.
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1302
我遵守了一些規則
12:07
So I didn't reach out to any woman first.
298
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2140
所以一開始，我沒和任何女人主動聯繫
12:09
I just waited to see who these profiles were going to attract,
299
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2921
我想看這些假帳號能吸引到什麼樣的人
12:12
and mainly what I was looking at was two different data sets.
300
720763
3371
我將它分為兩組數據組
12:16
So I was looking at qualitative data,
301
724134
1538
我觀察特性類的數據
12:17
so what was the humor, the tone,
302
725672
1949
找出這些女人在幽默感、語調
12:19
the voice, the communication style
303
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1562
聲音和溝通方式方面
12:21
that these women shared in common?
304
729183
1850
有哪些共同點
12:23
And also quantitative data,
305
731033
1283
另外那些量化的數據
12:24
so what was the average length of their profile,
306
732316
2338
像是個人檔案的平均長度
12:26
how much time was spent between messages?
307
734654
2235
傳訊息時花了多少時間
12:28
What I was trying to get at here was
308
736889
1681
我想知道的是
12:30
that I figured in person,
309
738570
1925
假使我也這麼做了
12:32
I would be just as competitive
310
740495
1410
我就會跟SmileyGirl1978
12:33
as a SmileyGirl1978.
311
741905
2065
一樣受歡迎
12:35
I wanted to figure out how to maximize
312
743970
1900
我想試著將我的個人檔案
12:37
my own profile online.
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745870
2940
發揮最大效益
12:40
Well, one month later,
314
748810
1727
一個月後
12:42
I had a lot of data, and I was able to do another analysis.
315
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3753
我蒐集到許多數據作分析
12:46
And as it turns out, content matters a lot.
316
754290
2880
結果是，內容很重要
12:49
So smart people tend to write a lot --
317
757170
2706
聰明的人通常都寫很長
12:51
3,000, 4,000,
318
759876
1875
三四千字
12:53
5,000 words about themselves,
319
761751
1743
甚至5千字
12:55
which may all be very, very interesting.
320
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2146
而且內容十分有趣
12:57
The challenge here, though, is that
321
765640
1352
困難點在
12:58
the popular men and women
322
766992
1182
這些受歡迎的男人和女人
13:00
are sticking to 97 words on average
323
768174
3772
平均都只打97個字
13:03
that are written very, very well,
324
771946
1722
當然也寫得很好
13:05
even though it may not seem like it all the time.
325
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2890
雖然有些看起來像假的
13:08
The other sort of hallmark of the people who do this well
326
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2149
另一個特點是
13:10
is that they're using non-specific language.
327
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2153
他們絕不會寫的很具體
13:12
So in my case, you know,
328
780860
1290
以我的例子來說
13:14
"The English Patient" is my most favorite movie ever,
329
782150
3198
我最喜歡的電影是「英倫情人」
13:17
but it doesn't work to use that in a profile,
330
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3809
但我絕不能將它寫在我的資料上
13:21
because that's a superficial data point,
331
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1741
因為那樣會太具體了
13:22
and somebody may disagree with me
332
790914
1542
有人可能因為不喜歡那部電影
13:24
and decide they don't want to go out with me
333
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1215
就拒絕跟我出去
13:25
because they didn't like sitting through the three-hour movie.
334
793671
2699
因為他們對坐三個小時看一部電影沒興趣
13:28
Also, optimistic language matters a lot.
335
796370
2240
另外，正面的字眼非常重要
13:30
So this is a word cloud
336
798610
1436
這是文字雲
13:32
highlighting the most popular words that were used
337
800046
2460
顯示出那些受歡迎的女人
13:34
by the most popular women,
338
802506
1632
常用的字
13:36
words like "fun" and "girl" and "love."
339
804138
2575
像是"有趣"、"女孩"、"愛"
13:38
And what I realized was not that I had
340
806713
2111
然而我意識到的
13:40
to dumb down my own profile.
341
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1568
並不是降低我個人檔案的水準
13:42
Remember, I'm somebody who said
342
810392
1532
還記得嗎，我說過我是
13:43
that I speak fluent Japanese and I know JavaScript
343
811924
3043
能說一口流利日文和懂得程式語言的人
13:46
and I was okay with that.
344
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1594
我覺得這很好啊
13:48
The difference is that it's about being more approachable
345
816561
2717
重點是要讓自己變得容易親近些
13:51
and helping people understand
346
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2155
使其他人了解
13:53
the best way to reach out to you.
347
821433
1612
如何與你接觸
13:55
And as it turns out, timing is also really, really important.
348
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2922
時間點也相當重要
13:57
Just because you have access
349
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1650
你有了某人的電話號碼
13:59
to somebody's mobile phone number
350
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1744
又或者是
14:01
or their instant message account
351
829361
1756
他們的即時通訊軟體帳號
14:03
and it's 2 o'clock in the morning and you happen to be awake,
352
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2407
即時你清晨2點還醒着
14:05
doesn't mean that that's a good time to communicate with those people.
353
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3189
也不應該在這個時間跟那些人聯絡
14:08
The popular women on these online sites
354
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2649
交友網站上這些受歡迎的女人
14:11
spend an average of 23 hours
355
839362
1838
花在交談上的時間
14:13
in between each communication.
356
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2376
每段平均約23小時
14:15
And that's what we would normally do
357
843576
1931
通常我們追求某人的時候
14:17
in the usual process of courtship.
358
845507
2064
也都是這樣的
14:19
And finally, there were the photos.
359
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3405
最後是照片
14:22
All of the women who were popular
360
850976
1833
受歡迎的女人
14:24
showed some skin.
361
852809
1625
每個都會露些肉
14:26
They all looked really great,
362
854434
2012
她們看起來都很美
14:28
which turned out to be in sharp contrast
363
856446
2778
和我上傳的照片就形成
14:31
to what I had uploaded.
364
859224
3293
極大的對比
14:34
Once I had all of this information,
365
862517
1640
當我擁有了這些資訊之後
14:36
I was able to create a super profile,
366
864157
2344
我就能作出一個「超級檔案」
14:38
so it was still me,
367
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1874
這還是我
14:40
but it was me optimized now for this ecosystem.
368
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3909
但這是在這個生態圈下最佳化後的我
14:44
And as it turns out, I did a really good job.
369
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4850
結果顯示，我成功了
14:49
I was the most popular person online.
370
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3056
我是網路上最有名的人
14:52
(Laughter)
371
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2519
(笑聲)
14:54
(Applause)
372
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4214
(掌聲)
14:58
And as it turns out, lots and lots of men wanted to date me.
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有數不清的男人想約我出去
15:02
So I call my mom, I call my sister, I call my grandmother.
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所以我打電話給我媽、我姐姐還有祖母
15:04
I'm telling them about this fabulous news,
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我告訴她們這個好消息
15:06
and they say, "This is wonderful!
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她們說：「這真是太棒了!」
15:08
How soon are you going out?"
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「妳什麼時候要去約會？」
15:10
And I said, "Well, actually, I'm not going to go out with anybody."
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我回答：「事實上，我不會跟任何人出去」
15:13
Because remember, in my scoring system,
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記得嗎？在我的記分系統
15:15
they have to reach a minimum threshold of 700 points,
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他們至少要拿到700分
15:17
and none of them have done that.
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但沒有一個人達到這個標準
15:19
They said, "What? You're still being too damn picky."
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她們說：「什麼？妳怎麼還是這麼挑剔」
15:22
Well, not too long after that,
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但在不久之後
15:24
I found this guy, Thevenin,
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我遇見了戴維寧
15:26
and he said that he was culturally Jewish,
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他說他文化上屬於猶太文化
15:28
he said that his job was an arctic baby seal hunter,
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他說他的工作是北極小海豹獵人
15:31
which I thought was very clever.
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我覺得很妙
15:34
He talked in detail about travel.
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他寫了很多關於旅行的事
15:37
He made a lot of really interesting cultural references.
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舉了許多有趣的文化差異的例子
15:39
He looked and talked exactly like what I wanted,
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他的長相和說話的方式都是我喜歡的型
15:42
and immediately, he scored 850 points.
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當然，他馬上就得了850分
15:45
It was enough for a date.
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850分已經足夠出去約會
15:47
Three weeks later, we met up in person
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三個禮拜之後，我們見面了
15:49
for what turned out to be a 14-hour-long conversation
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我們聊了14個小時
15:52
that went from coffee shop to restaurant
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從咖啡廳到餐廳
15:55
to another coffee shop to another restaurant,
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又從另一家咖啡廳到另一間餐廳
15:57
and when he dropped me back off at my house that night
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當他送我回家時
15:59
I re-scored him --
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我重新為他打了分數
16:00
[1,050 points!] --
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「1050分!」
16:02
thought, you know what,
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你知道嗎？
16:03
this entire time I haven't been picky enough.
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這次我一點都不挑剔
16:06
Well, a year and a half after that,
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一年半後
16:08
we were non-cruise ship traveling
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我們去了佩特拉、約旦
16:11
through Petra, Jordan,
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當然，不是搭郵輪
16:13
when he got down on his knee and proposed.
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當時他跪下，向我求婚
16:16
A year after that, we were married,
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一年後，我們結婚了
16:19
and about a year and a half after that, our daughter,
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那之後一年半，我們的女兒佩特拉
16:21
Petra, was born.
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出生了
16:23
(Applause)
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(掌聲)
16:30
Obviously, I'm having a fabulous life, so --
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顯然，我現在過著很幸福的生活，所以...
16:33
(Laughter) --
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(笑聲)
16:34
the question is, what does all of this mean for you?
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問題是，這些對你而言是什麼?
16:37
Well, as it turns out, there is an algorithm for love.
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這是一個為愛訂做的運算法則
16:40
It's just not the ones that we're being presented with online.
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這不只是我們在網路上看起來的樣子
16:44
In fact, it's something that you write yourself.
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是你怎麼形容你自己
16:46
So whether you're looking for a husband or a wife
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所以，無論你是在找另一半
16:49
or you're trying to find your passion
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找尋你的熱情
16:51
or you're trying to start a business,
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或是嘗試創業
16:52
all you have to really do is figure out your own framework
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你需要做的是找出你自己的原則
16:55
and play by your own rules,
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照你的規則來
16:57
and feel free to be as picky as you want.
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愛怎麼挑剔就怎麼挑剔
17:00
Well, on my wedding day,
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我結婚那天
17:01
I had a conversation again with my grandmother,
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我跟我的祖母談了一下
17:03
and she said, "All right, maybe I was wrong.
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她說：「好吧，我也許是錯的」
17:06
It looks like you did come up with
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「看來妳真的發明出
17:07
a really, really great system.
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一個非常好的系統」
17:09
Now, your matzoh balls.
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「不過妳的瑪索球 (註：猶太丸子)
17:12
They should be fluffy, not hard."
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口感應該是鬆軟的，不應該是硬的」
17:15
And I'll take her advice on that.
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這次我會聽她的話了
17:17
(Applause)
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(掌聲)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Amy Webb - Founder and CEO, Future Today InstituteAmy Webb is a futurist and founder of the Future Today Institute, and is the award-winning author of three books, including “Data: A Love Story” and “The Signals Are Talking: Why Today’s Fringe Is Tomorrow’s Mainstream.”
Why you should listen
Amy Webb uses data to understand the present and future of humanity, a practice she first developed as a journalist for the Wall Street Journal and Newsweek and has continued as a futurist. She is the head of the Future Today Institute, which researches collisions between technology, society and business — and maps scenarios that are on the horizon. She was named to the Thinkers50 Radar list of the 30 management thinkers most likely to shape the future of how organizations are managed and led.
Webb is on the adjunct faculty at the NYU Stern School of Business, where she teaches a popular MBA-level course on futures forecasting. She is the author of The Signals Are Talking, Why Today’s Fringe Is Tomorrow’s Mainstream, which has become the standard text on futures forecasting and explains how to predict and manage technological change. Her book Data: A Love Story tells the tale of how she gamed the online dating system to figure out how to find the love of her life.
Amy Webb | Speaker | TED.com