TEDxTaipei
Michelle Kuo: The healing power of reading
Filmed:
Readability: 2.9
2,399,463 views
Reading and writing can be acts of courage that bring us closer to others and ourselves. Author Michelle Kuo shares how teaching reading skills to her students in the Mississippi Delta revealed the bridging power of the written word -- as well as the limitations of its power.
Michelle Kuo - Teacher, writer, lawyer
Michelle Kuo believes in the power of reading to connect us with one another, creating a shared universe. Full bio
Michelle Kuo believes in the power of reading to connect us with one another, creating a shared universe. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
I want to talk today
about how reading can change our lives
about how reading can change our lives
0
917
5476
00:18
and about the limits of that change.
1
6417
2375
00:21
I want to talk to you about how reading
can give us a shareable world
can give us a shareable world
2
9750
4268
00:26
of powerful human connection.
3
14042
2708
00:29
But also about how that connection
is always partial.
is always partial.
4
17833
3560
00:33
How reading is ultimately
a lonely, idiosyncratic undertaking.
a lonely, idiosyncratic undertaking.
5
21417
5083
00:39
The writer who changed my life
6
27625
2851
00:42
was the great African American
novelist James Baldwin.
novelist James Baldwin.
7
30500
4434
00:46
When I was growing up
in Western Michigan in the 1980s,
in Western Michigan in the 1980s,
8
34958
3268
00:50
there weren't many Asian American writers
interested in social change.
interested in social change.
9
38250
3917
00:55
And so I think I turned to James Baldwin
10
43292
3226
00:58
as a way to fill this void,
as a way to feel racially conscious.
as a way to feel racially conscious.
11
46542
4041
01:03
But perhaps because I knew
I wasn't myself African American,
I wasn't myself African American,
12
51958
3976
01:07
I also felt challenged
and indicted by his words.
and indicted by his words.
13
55958
4518
01:12
Especially these words:
14
60500
2125
01:15
"There are liberals
who have all the proper attitudes,
who have all the proper attitudes,
15
63458
3601
01:19
but no real convictions.
16
67083
1959
01:22
When the chips are down
and you somehow expect them to deliver,
and you somehow expect them to deliver,
17
70083
3935
01:26
they are somehow not there."
18
74042
2476
01:28
They are somehow not there.
19
76542
2809
01:31
I took those words very literally.
20
79375
2351
01:33
Where should I put myself?
21
81750
1708
01:36
I went to the Mississippi Delta,
22
84500
2018
01:38
one of the poorest regions
in the United States.
in the United States.
23
86542
3142
01:41
This is a place shaped
by a powerful history.
by a powerful history.
24
89708
2893
01:44
In the 1960s, African Americans
risked their lives to fight for education,
risked their lives to fight for education,
25
92625
5143
01:49
to fight for the right to vote.
26
97792
1708
01:52
I wanted to be a part of that change,
27
100625
2434
01:55
to help young teenagers graduate
and go to college.
and go to college.
28
103083
3709
02:00
When I got to the Mississippi Delta,
29
108250
2726
02:03
it was a place that was still poor,
30
111000
2434
02:05
still segregated,
31
113458
1726
02:07
still dramatically in need of change.
32
115208
2542
02:10
My school, where I was placed,
33
118958
3435
02:14
had no library, no guidance counselor,
34
122417
4309
02:18
but it did have a police officer.
35
126750
2976
02:21
Half the teachers were substitutes
36
129750
2559
02:24
and when students got into fights,
37
132333
1976
02:26
the school would send them
to the local county jail.
to the local county jail.
38
134333
3875
02:32
This is the school where I met Patrick.
39
140250
2976
02:35
He was 15 and held back twice,
he was in the eighth grade.
he was in the eighth grade.
40
143250
4934
02:40
He was quiet, introspective,
41
148208
2476
02:42
like he was always in deep thought.
42
150708
2810
02:45
And he hated seeing other people fight.
43
153542
2791
02:49
I saw him once jump between two girls
when they got into a fight
when they got into a fight
44
157500
3809
02:53
and he got himself knocked to the ground.
45
161333
2709
02:57
Patrick had just one problem.
46
165375
2518
02:59
He wouldn't come to school.
47
167917
1791
03:03
He said that sometimes
school was just too depressing
school was just too depressing
48
171249
2477
03:05
because people were always fighting
and teachers were quitting.
and teachers were quitting.
49
173750
3042
03:10
And also, his mother worked two jobs
and was just too tired to make him come.
and was just too tired to make him come.
50
178042
5458
03:16
So I made it my job
to get him to come to school.
to get him to come to school.
51
184417
2767
03:19
And because I was crazy and 22
and zealously optimistic,
and zealously optimistic,
52
187208
4060
03:23
my strategy was
just to show up at his house
just to show up at his house
53
191292
2142
03:25
and say, "Hey, why don't you
come to school?"
come to school?"
54
193458
2125
03:28
And this strategy actually worked,
55
196542
1642
03:30
he started to come to school every day.
56
198208
2435
03:32
And he started to flourish in my class.
57
200667
2392
03:35
He was writing poetry,
he was reading books.
he was reading books.
58
203083
2917
03:38
He was coming to school every day.
59
206917
2291
03:43
Around the same time
60
211042
1476
03:44
that I had figured out
how to connect to Patrick,
how to connect to Patrick,
61
212542
2684
03:47
I got into law school at Harvard.
62
215250
2208
03:51
I once again faced this question,
where should I put myself,
where should I put myself,
63
219583
3351
03:54
where do I put my body?
64
222958
1709
03:57
And I thought to myself
65
225458
2643
04:00
that the Mississippi Delta
was a place where people with money,
was a place where people with money,
66
228125
3518
04:03
people with opportunity,
67
231667
1892
04:05
those people leave.
68
233583
1250
04:07
And the people who stay behind
69
235875
1434
04:09
are the people who don't have
the chance to leave.
the chance to leave.
70
237333
2500
04:12
I didn't want to be a person who left.
71
240833
2268
04:15
I wanted to be a person who stayed.
72
243125
2042
04:18
On the other hand, I was lonely and tired.
73
246333
2935
04:21
And so I convinced myself
that I could do more change
that I could do more change
74
249292
3458
04:26
on a larger scale if I had
a prestigious law degree.
a prestigious law degree.
75
254125
3583
04:31
So I left.
76
259541
1250
04:34
Three years later,
77
262750
1601
04:36
when I was about
to graduate from law school,
to graduate from law school,
78
264375
2393
04:38
my friend called me
79
266792
1726
04:40
and told me that Patrick
had got into a fight and killed someone.
had got into a fight and killed someone.
80
268542
4916
04:47
I was devastated.
81
275333
2060
04:49
Part of me didn't believe it,
82
277417
2434
04:51
but part of me also knew that it was true.
83
279875
2667
04:55
I flew down to see Patrick.
84
283583
2000
04:58
I visited him in jail.
85
286750
2708
05:02
And he told me that it was true.
86
290542
3642
05:06
That he had killed someone.
87
294208
2393
05:08
And he didn't want to talk more about it.
88
296625
2250
05:11
I asked him what had happened with school
89
299833
2018
05:13
and he said that he had dropped out
the year after I left.
the year after I left.
90
301875
4143
05:18
And then he wanted
to tell me something else.
to tell me something else.
91
306042
2642
05:20
He looked down and he said
that he had had a baby daughter
that he had had a baby daughter
92
308708
3268
05:24
who was just born.
93
312000
1768
05:25
And he felt like he had let her down.
94
313792
2583
05:30
That was it, our conversation
was rushed and awkward.
was rushed and awkward.
95
318625
3375
05:35
When I stepped outside the jail,
a voice inside me said,
a voice inside me said,
96
323417
5059
05:40
"Come back.
97
328500
1268
05:41
If you don't come back now,
you'll never come back."
you'll never come back."
98
329792
3291
05:48
So I graduated from law school
and I went back.
and I went back.
99
336292
3583
05:52
I went back to see Patrick,
100
340833
1685
05:54
I went back to see if I could help him
with his legal case.
with his legal case.
101
342542
2958
05:58
And this time,
when I saw him a second time,
when I saw him a second time,
102
346917
3351
06:02
I thought I had this great idea, I said,
103
350292
2267
06:04
"Hey, Patrick, why don't you
write a letter to your daughter,
write a letter to your daughter,
104
352583
3601
06:08
so that you can keep her on your mind?"
105
356208
3768
06:12
And I handed him a pen
and a piece of paper,
and a piece of paper,
106
360000
3684
06:15
and he started to write.
107
363708
1625
06:18
But when I saw the paper
that he handed back to me,
that he handed back to me,
108
366542
2809
06:21
I was shocked.
109
369375
1333
06:25
I didn't recognize his handwriting,
110
373000
2101
06:27
he had made simple spelling mistakes.
111
375125
2833
06:31
And I thought to myself that as a teacher,
112
379167
2684
06:33
I knew that a student
could dramatically improve
could dramatically improve
113
381875
3476
06:37
in a very quick amount of time,
114
385375
3059
06:40
but I never thought that a student
could dramatically regress.
could dramatically regress.
115
388458
3667
06:46
What even pained me more,
116
394375
1893
06:48
was seeing what he had written
to his daughter.
to his daughter.
117
396292
3184
06:51
He had written,
118
399500
1393
06:52
"I'm sorry for my mistakes,
I'm sorry for not being there for you."
I'm sorry for not being there for you."
119
400917
4291
06:58
And this was all he felt
he had to say to her.
he had to say to her.
120
406458
2834
07:02
And I asked myself how can I convince him
that he has more to say,
that he has more to say,
121
410250
4309
07:06
parts of himself that
he doesn't need to apologize for.
he doesn't need to apologize for.
122
414583
3417
07:10
I wanted him to feel
123
418958
1268
07:12
that he had something worthwhile
to share with his daughter.
to share with his daughter.
124
420250
3958
07:17
For every day the next seven months,
125
425917
3184
07:21
I visited him and brought books.
126
429125
2684
07:23
My tote bag became a little library.
127
431833
3851
07:27
I brought James Baldwin,
128
435708
2060
07:29
I brought Walt Whitman, C.S. Lewis.
129
437792
4892
07:34
I brought guidebooks to trees, to birds,
130
442708
4810
07:39
and what would become
his favorite book, the dictionary.
his favorite book, the dictionary.
131
447542
3208
07:43
On some days,
132
451667
1684
07:45
we would sit for hours in silence,
both of us reading.
both of us reading.
133
453375
3792
07:50
And on other days,
134
458083
1851
07:51
we would read together,
we would read poetry.
we would read poetry.
135
459958
3518
07:55
We started by reading haikus,
hundreds of haikus,
hundreds of haikus,
136
463500
3893
07:59
a deceptively simple masterpiece.
137
467417
2892
08:02
And I would ask him,
"Share with me your favorite haikus."
"Share with me your favorite haikus."
138
470333
2810
08:05
And some of them are quite funny.
139
473167
3059
08:08
So there's this by Issa:
140
476250
1851
08:10
"Don't worry, spiders,
I keep house casually."
I keep house casually."
141
478125
3708
08:14
And this: "Napped half the day,
no one punished me!"
no one punished me!"
142
482750
4542
08:20
And this gorgeous one, which is
about the first day of snow falling,
about the first day of snow falling,
143
488667
4434
08:25
"Deer licking first frost
from each other's coats."
from each other's coats."
144
493125
4458
08:31
There's something mysterious and gorgeous
145
499250
3018
08:34
just about the way a poem looks.
146
502292
2642
08:36
The empty space is as important
as the words themselves.
as the words themselves.
147
504958
4625
08:43
We read this poem by W.S. Merwin,
148
511375
2518
08:45
which he wrote after he saw
his wife working in the garden
his wife working in the garden
149
513917
4226
08:50
and realized that they would spend
the rest of their lives together.
the rest of their lives together.
150
518167
3875
08:55
"Let me imagine that we will come again
151
523167
2351
08:57
when we want to and it will be spring
152
525542
3392
09:00
We will be no older than we ever were
153
528958
3185
09:04
The worn griefs will have eased
like the early cloud
like the early cloud
154
532167
3934
09:08
through which morning
slowly comes to itself"
slowly comes to itself"
155
536125
3768
09:11
I asked Patrick what his favorite
line was, and he said,
line was, and he said,
156
539917
3392
09:15
"We will be no older than we ever were."
157
543333
3542
09:20
He said it reminded him
of a place where time just stops,
of a place where time just stops,
158
548375
4434
09:24
where time doesn't matter anymore.
159
552833
2935
09:27
And I asked him
if he had a place like that,
if he had a place like that,
160
555792
2059
09:29
where time lasts forever.
161
557875
2393
09:32
And he said, "My mother."
162
560292
1666
09:35
When you read a poem
alongside someone else,
alongside someone else,
163
563875
4309
09:40
the poem changes in meaning.
164
568208
1875
09:43
Because it becomes personal
to that person, becomes personal to you.
to that person, becomes personal to you.
165
571333
4667
09:49
We then read books, we read so many books,
166
577500
2684
09:52
we read the memoir of Frederick Douglass,
167
580208
3143
09:55
an American slave who taught
himself to read and write
himself to read and write
168
583375
3601
09:59
and who escaped to freedom
because of his literacy.
because of his literacy.
169
587000
3333
10:03
I had grown up thinking
of Frederick Douglass as a hero
of Frederick Douglass as a hero
170
591875
2643
10:06
and I thought of this story
as one of uplift and hope.
as one of uplift and hope.
171
594542
3208
10:10
But this book put Patrick
in a kind of panic.
in a kind of panic.
172
598917
2833
10:14
He fixated on a story Douglass told
of how, over Christmas,
of how, over Christmas,
173
602875
5059
10:19
masters give slaves gin
174
607958
3101
10:23
as a way to prove to them
that they can't handle freedom.
that they can't handle freedom.
175
611083
3476
10:26
Because slaves would be
stumbling on the fields.
stumbling on the fields.
176
614583
2792
10:31
Patrick said he related to this.
177
619500
2000
10:34
He said that there are people in jail
who, like slaves,
who, like slaves,
178
622333
3476
10:37
don't want to think about their condition,
179
625833
2226
10:40
because it's too painful.
180
628083
1810
10:41
Too painful to think about the past,
181
629917
2184
10:44
too painful to think
about how far we have to go.
about how far we have to go.
182
632125
3333
10:48
His favorite line was this line:
183
636958
2893
10:51
"Anything, no matter what,
to get rid of thinking!
to get rid of thinking!
184
639875
3601
10:55
It was this everlasting thinking
of my condition that tormented me."
of my condition that tormented me."
185
643500
5042
11:01
Patrick said that Douglass was brave
to write, to keep thinking.
to write, to keep thinking.
186
649958
3959
11:07
But Patrick would never know
how much he seemed like Douglass to me.
how much he seemed like Douglass to me.
187
655083
5560
11:12
How he kept reading,
even though it put him in a panic.
even though it put him in a panic.
188
660667
3750
11:17
He finished the book before I did,
189
665250
3059
11:20
reading it in a concrete
stairway with no light.
stairway with no light.
190
668333
3709
11:25
And then we went on
to read one of my favorite books,
to read one of my favorite books,
191
673583
2726
11:28
Marilynne Robinson's "Gilead,"
192
676333
2185
11:30
which is an extended letter
from a father to his son.
from a father to his son.
193
678542
4142
11:34
He loved this line:
194
682708
2351
11:37
"I'm writing this in part to tell you
195
685083
2185
11:39
that if you ever wonder
what you've done in your life ...
what you've done in your life ...
196
687292
3309
11:42
you have been God's grace to me,
197
690625
2018
11:44
a miracle, something more than a miracle."
198
692667
3166
11:49
Something about this language,
its love, its longing, its voice,
its love, its longing, its voice,
199
697375
5643
11:55
rekindled Patrick's desire to write.
200
703042
2458
11:58
And he would fill notebooks upon notebooks
201
706292
3101
12:01
with letters to his daughter.
202
709417
3309
12:04
In these beautiful, intricate letters,
203
712750
2934
12:07
he would imagine him and his daughter
going canoeing down the Mississippi river.
going canoeing down the Mississippi river.
204
715708
5976
12:13
He would imagine them
finding a mountain stream
finding a mountain stream
205
721708
2810
12:16
with perfectly clear water.
206
724542
2166
12:20
As I watched Patrick write,
207
728042
2041
12:23
I thought to myself,
208
731250
2143
12:25
and I now ask all of you,
209
733417
2059
12:27
how many of you have written a letter
to somebody you feel you have let down?
to somebody you feel you have let down?
210
735500
5292
12:34
It is just much easier
to put those people out of your mind.
to put those people out of your mind.
211
742042
5083
12:40
But Patrick showed up every day,
facing his daughter,
facing his daughter,
212
748083
4643
12:44
holding himself accountable to her,
213
752750
2934
12:47
word by word with intense concentration.
214
755708
3709
12:54
I wanted in my own life
215
762417
2541
12:58
to put myself at risk in that way.
216
766042
3059
13:01
Because that risk reveals
the strength of one's heart.
the strength of one's heart.
217
769125
3625
13:08
Let me take a step back
and just ask an uncomfortable question.
and just ask an uncomfortable question.
218
776625
4059
13:12
Who am I to tell this story,
as in this Patrick story?
as in this Patrick story?
219
780708
3709
13:18
Patrick's the one who lived with this pain
220
786042
2976
13:21
and I have never been hungry
a day in my life.
a day in my life.
221
789042
4166
13:27
I thought about this question a lot,
222
795250
1768
13:29
but what I want to say is that this story
is not just about Patrick.
is not just about Patrick.
223
797042
3726
13:32
It's about us,
224
800792
1517
13:34
it's about the inequality between us.
225
802333
2500
13:37
The world of plenty
226
805667
1416
13:40
that Patrick and his parents
and his grandparents
and his grandparents
227
808375
3643
13:44
have been shut out of.
228
812042
1809
13:45
In this story, I represent
that world of plenty.
that world of plenty.
229
813875
3083
13:49
And in telling this story,
I didn't want to hide myself.
I didn't want to hide myself.
230
817792
3809
13:53
Hide the power that I do have.
231
821625
2667
13:57
In telling this story,
I wanted to expose that power
I wanted to expose that power
232
825333
3560
14:00
and then to ask,
233
828917
2392
14:03
how do we diminish
the distance between us?
the distance between us?
234
831333
2917
14:08
Reading is one way to close that distance.
235
836250
3601
14:11
It gives us a quiet universe
that we can share together,
that we can share together,
236
839875
4434
14:16
that we can share in equally.
237
844333
2250
14:20
You're probably wondering now
what happened to Patrick.
what happened to Patrick.
238
848500
3101
14:23
Did reading save his life?
239
851625
1708
14:26
It did and it didn't.
240
854583
2125
14:29
When Patrick got out of prison,
241
857875
2893
14:32
his journey was excruciating.
242
860792
2333
14:36
Employers turned him away
because of his record,
because of his record,
243
864292
3476
14:39
his best friend, his mother,
died at age 43
died at age 43
244
867792
3142
14:42
from heart disease and diabetes.
245
870958
2476
14:45
He's been homeless, he's been hungry.
246
873458
2709
14:50
So people say a lot of things
about reading that feel exaggerated to me.
about reading that feel exaggerated to me.
247
878250
4542
14:55
Being literate didn't stop him
form being discriminated against.
form being discriminated against.
248
883792
3976
14:59
It didn't stop his mother from dying.
249
887792
2625
15:03
So what can reading do?
250
891708
2375
15:07
I have a few answers to end with today.
251
895375
3958
15:12
Reading charged his inner life
252
900667
2750
15:17
with mystery, with imagination,
253
905083
3060
15:20
with beauty.
254
908167
1250
15:22
Reading gave him images that gave him joy:
255
910292
4333
15:27
mountain, ocean, deer, frost.
256
915417
5559
15:33
Words that taste of a free, natural world.
257
921000
4125
15:39
Reading gave him a language
for what he had lost.
for what he had lost.
258
927625
3518
15:43
How precious are these lines
from the poet Derek Walcott?
from the poet Derek Walcott?
259
931167
4642
15:47
Patrick memorized this poem.
260
935833
2226
15:50
"Days that I have held,
261
938083
2101
15:52
days that I have lost,
262
940208
2268
15:54
days that outgrow, like daughters,
263
942500
3226
15:57
my harboring arms."
264
945750
1833
16:00
Reading taught him his own courage.
265
948667
2976
16:03
Remember that he kept reading
Frederick Douglass,
Frederick Douglass,
266
951667
3309
16:07
even though it was painful.
267
955000
2143
16:09
He kept being conscious,
even though being conscious hurts.
even though being conscious hurts.
268
957167
3708
16:14
Reading is a form of thinking,
269
962208
2560
16:16
that's why it's difficult to read
because we have to think.
because we have to think.
270
964792
4059
16:20
And Patrick chose to think,
rather than to not think.
rather than to not think.
271
968875
4250
16:28
And last, reading gave him a language
to speak to his daughter.
to speak to his daughter.
272
976000
3958
16:33
Reading inspired him to want to write.
273
981375
3226
16:36
The link between reading
and writing is so powerful.
and writing is so powerful.
274
984625
4143
16:40
When we begin to read,
275
988792
2059
16:42
we begin to find the words.
276
990875
2083
16:45
And he found the words
to imagine the two of them together.
to imagine the two of them together.
277
993958
4643
16:50
He found the words
278
998625
1708
16:53
to tell her how much he loved her.
279
1001958
2250
16:58
Reading also changed
our relationship with each other.
our relationship with each other.
280
1006042
3934
17:02
It gave us an occasion for intimacy,
281
1010000
2059
17:04
to see beyond our points of view.
282
1012083
2893
17:07
And reading took an unequal relationship
283
1015000
2684
17:09
and gave us a momentary equality.
284
1017708
2667
17:14
When you meet somebody as a reader,
285
1022125
2934
17:17
you meet him for the first time,
286
1025083
1976
17:19
newly, freshly.
287
1027083
1708
17:21
There is no way you can know
what his favorite line will be.
what his favorite line will be.
288
1029875
3208
17:26
What memories and private griefs he has.
289
1034458
3208
17:30
And you face the ultimate privacy
of his inner life.
of his inner life.
290
1038833
4000
17:35
And then you start to wonder,
"Well, what is my inner life made of?
"Well, what is my inner life made of?
291
1043666
3435
17:39
What do I have that's worthwhile
to share with another?"
to share with another?"
292
1047125
3250
17:45
I want to close
293
1053000
1333
17:48
on some of my favorite lines
from Patrick's letters to his daughter.
from Patrick's letters to his daughter.
294
1056208
4292
17:53
"The river is shadowy in some places
295
1061333
2768
17:56
but the light shines
through the cracks of trees ...
through the cracks of trees ...
296
1064125
3268
17:59
On some branches
hang plenty of mulberries.
hang plenty of mulberries.
297
1067417
3559
18:03
You stretch your arm
straight out to grab some."
straight out to grab some."
298
1071000
3458
18:08
And this lovely letter, where he writes,
299
1076042
2434
18:10
"Close your eyes and listen
to the sounds of the words.
to the sounds of the words.
300
1078500
4351
18:14
I know this poem by heart
301
1082875
2184
18:17
and I would like you to know it, too."
302
1085083
2834
18:21
Thank you so much everyone.
303
1089375
1809
18:23
(Applause)
304
1091208
3292
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Michelle Kuo - Teacher, writer, lawyerMichelle Kuo believes in the power of reading to connect us with one another, creating a shared universe.
Why you should listen
Michelle Kuo is a teacher, lawyer, writer and passionate advocate of prison education. She has taught English at an alternative school for kids who were expelled from other schools in rural Arkansas, located in the Mississippi Delta. While at Harvard Law School, she received the National Clinical Association's award for her advocacy of children with special needs. Later, as a lawyer for undocumented immigrants in Oakland, Kuo helped tenants facing evictions, workers stiffed out of their wages and families facing deportation. She has also volunteered at a detention center in south Texas, helping families apply for asylum, and taught courses at San Quentin Prison. Currently, she teaches in the History, Law, and Society program at the American University of Paris, where she works to inspire students on issues of migrant justice and criminal justice. This fall, she is helping to start a prison education program in France.
In 2017, Kuo released Reading with Patrick, a memoir of teaching reading in a rural county jail in Arkansas. A runner-up for the Goddard Riverside Social Justice Prize and Dayton Literary Peace Prize, the book explores questions of what it is we owe each other and how starkly economic and racial inequality determine our life outcomes.
(Photo: Jasmine Cowen)
Michelle Kuo | Speaker | TED.com