ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Alexandra Sacks - Reproductive psychiatrist
Alexandra Sacks, M.D. is widely recognized as the leading clinical expert on matrescence: the developmental transition into motherhood.

Why you should listen

Alexandra Sacks has spent the last decade of her career helping women navigate their emotional lives as a reproductive psychiatrist. She is a regular contributor to the New York Times, and her work has been featured in TIME, NPR and throughout Asia, Europe and Latin America.

Board-certified in psychiatry with specialty fellowship training in women's mental health via New York Presbyterian Cornell and Columbia, Sacks helms a private practice in New York City and serves on the advisory boards for the American Psychoanalytic Association and the Columbia Psychoanalytic Center for Training and Research. In April 2019, Dr. Sacks will publish her first co-authored book, What No One Tells You: A Guide to Your Emotions from Pregnancy to Motherhood (Simon and Schuster).

More profile about the speaker
Alexandra Sacks | Speaker | TED.com
TED Residency

Alexandra Sacks: A new way to think about the transition to motherhood

亚历山大 · 赛克斯: 以新的角度思考从女人到母亲的转变

Filmed:
1,882,403 views

当婴儿降生时, 母亲也获得了新生。 但这一自然的 (有时不稳定的) 向母亲角色转换的过程,却常常因为母亲的羞愧感而被掩盖,或被误诊为产后抑郁症。在这个快简短、详实的谈话中, 生殖心理医生 亚历山德拉 · 赛克斯 剖析了成为新母亲的情感纠葛——分享了一个可以帮助描述该过程的术语:孕乳期。
- Reproductive psychiatrist
Alexandra Sacks, M.D. is widely recognized as the leading clinical expert on matrescence: the developmental transition into motherhood. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:13
Do you remember记得 a time
when you felt hormonal激素 and moody喜怒无常?
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你是否记得某个时刻曾经感到
心情烦躁和郁郁寡欢?
00:17
Your skin皮肤 was breaking破坏 out,
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你的皮肤上正冒出小痘痘,
00:19
your body身体 was growing生长
in strange奇怪 places地方 and very fast快速,
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身体的特殊部位
开始发育并快速生长,
00:24
and at the same相同 time,
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与此同时,
大人们也正期待你以这种新的方式长大。
00:25
people were expecting期待 you to be
grown-up长大 in this new way.
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00:29
Teenagers青少年, right?
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说的是青少年,对吧?
00:31
Well, these same相同 changes变化 happen发生
to a woman女人 when she's having a baby宝宝.
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其实,女人怀孕时
也会发生同样的变化。
00:36
And we know that it's normal正常
for teenagers青少年 to feel all over the place地点,
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我们知道,青少年感到
困惑和敏感很正常,
00:40
so why don't we talk about
pregnancy怀孕 in the same相同 way?
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我们何不以同样的方式谈论怀孕呢?
00:44
There are entire整个 textbooks教科书 written书面 about
the developmental发展的 arc of adolescence青春期,
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市面上有成套的关于
青春期发展曲线的教科书,
00:50
and we don't even have a word
to describe描述 the transition过渡 to motherhood母亲.
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而我们甚至没有一个描述
由女人变为母亲的术语。
00:55
We need one.
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我们需要一个这样的词汇。
00:57
I'm a psychiatrist心理医生 who works作品
with pregnant and postpartum产后 women妇女,
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我是一名与孕妇和产妇
打交道的精神科医生,
01:00
a reproductive生殖 psychiatrist心理医生,
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即生殖心理医生。
01:02
and in the decade that I've been
working加工 in this field领域,
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在这个领域工作的十年里,
01:05
I've noticed注意到 a pattern模式.
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我注意到了一个模式。
01:06
It goes something like this:
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一般是这样的:
01:08
a woman女人 calls电话 me up,
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一位女士打来电话,
01:10
she's just had a baby宝宝,
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她刚生了孩子,
01:12
and she's concerned关心.
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而且感到很忧虑。
01:13
She says, "I'm not good at this.
I'm not enjoying享受 this.
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她说,"我不擅养育孩子,也不喜欢。
01:17
Do I have postpartum产后 depression萧条?"
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我得了产后抑郁症吗?”
01:20
So I go through通过 the symptoms症状
of that diagnosis诊断,
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接下来,我仔细分析了诊断的症状,
01:23
and it's clear明确 to me
that she's not clinically临床 depressed郁闷,
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很显然她没得临床抑郁症,
01:26
and I tell her that.
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我告诉了她诊断结果。
01:27
But she isn't reassured放心.
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但她依然不放心,
01:29
"It isn't supposed应该 to feel
like this," she insists坚持.
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"我不该有这样的感觉," 她坚称。
01:32
So I say, "OK. What did you
expect期望 it to feel like?"
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因此我说道 "好吧,那你
认为应该是怎样的感觉呢?”
01:36
She says, "I thought motherhood母亲
would make feel whole整个 and happy快乐.
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她说,"我曾以为,当了母亲
会让我感到完整和快乐;
01:41
I thought my instincts本能
would naturally自然 tell me what to do.
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本能自然而然就会
告诉我应该怎么做;
01:45
I thought I'd always want
to put the baby宝宝 first."
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我曾经也以为,自己会总想着
把孩子放在首位。”
01:49
This -- this is an unrealistic不切实际 expectation期望
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这种感觉——这是对
从女人转变成母亲的
01:53
of what the transition过渡
to motherhood母亲 feels感觉 like.
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不切实际的期望。
01:56
And it wasn't just her.
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无独有偶,
01:58
I was getting得到 calls电话 with questions问题
like this from hundreds数以百计 of women妇女,
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我接到过几百位有类似
问题的女士打来的电话,
02:03
all concerned关心 that something was wrong错误,
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她们都不约而同地
担心自己出了问题,
02:06
because they couldn't不能 measure测量 up.
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因为她们无法达到自己的期望值。
02:08
And I didn't know how to help them,
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我不知道如何帮助她们,
02:11
because telling告诉 them
that they weren't sick生病
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因为告诉了她们没病的事实,
02:13
wasn't making制造 them feel better.
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并没让她们感觉轻松一些。
02:16
I wanted to find a way
to normalize正常化 this transition过渡,
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我想找到一种让这种转变
更加正常化的方法,
02:21
to explain说明 that discomfort不舒服 is not always
the same相同 thing as disease疾病.
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能解释这种心理不适
与疾病其实是两码事。
02:26
So I set out to learn学习 more about
the psychology心理学 of motherhood母亲.
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所以,我开始学习更多
关于母性心理的知识,
02:30
But there actually其实 wasn't much
in the medical textbooks教科书,
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但医学课本对此却鲜有提及,
02:33
because doctors医生 mostly大多
write about disease疾病.
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因为医生们大部分写的
是关于疾病的知识。
02:36
So I turned转身 to anthropology人类学.
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于是,我转向人类学寻找答案。
02:39
And it took me two years年份,
but in an out-of-print出的绝版 essay文章
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花了两年的时间,
02:42
written书面 in 1973 by Dana达纳 Raphael拉斐尔,
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在一篇 丹娜 · 拉斐尔 写于
1973 年的绝版文章中,
02:46
I finally最后 found发现 a helpful有帮助 way
to frame this conversation会话:
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我终于找到了一个有效的
方式来概括这段对话:
02:51
matrescencematrescence.
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孕乳期。
02:53
It's not a coincidence巧合 that "matrescencematrescence"
sounds声音 like "adolescence青春期."
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"孕乳期" 听起来
很像 "青春期",但这并非巧合,
02:59
Both are times when body身体 morphing变形
and hormone激素 shifting
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两种情况都是由于身体改变
和激素变化同时作用所致,
03:02
lead to an upheaval动荡
in how a person feels感觉 emotionally感情上
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这两种因素造成人在情绪感受
03:06
and how they fit适合 into the world世界.
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及如何融入生活方面发生剧变。
03:08
And like adolescence青春期,
matrescencematrescence is not a disease疾病,
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和青春期一样,孕乳期不是病,
03:13
but since以来 it's not
in the medical vocabulary词汇,
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但因为这一改变
并不存在于医学词汇中,
03:15
since以来 doctors医生 aren't
educating教育 people about it,
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医生也没教给人们这方面的知识,
03:18
it's being存在 confused困惑
with a more serious严重 condition条件
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所以,人们将孕乳期现象
03:21
called postpartum产后 depression萧条.
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和更严重的产后抑郁症混为一谈。
03:24
I've been building建造 on
the anthropology人类学 literature文学
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我一直在人类学文献的基础上,
03:26
and have been talking
about matrescencematrescence with my patients耐心
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使用 "推和拉" 的概念,
03:30
using运用 a concept概念 called
the "push and pull."
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和病人谈关于孕乳期的问题。
03:33
Here's这里的 the pull part部分.
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“拉”的部分是这样的:
03:35
As humans人类, our babies婴儿
are uniquely独特地 dependent依赖的.
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我们人类的婴儿特别依赖他人。
03:39
Unlike不像 other animals动物,
our babies婴儿 can't walk步行,
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和其它动物不同的是,
我们的婴儿不会走路、
03:42
they can't feed饲料 themselves他们自己,
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不能自己吃饭,
03:43
they're very hard to take care关心 of.
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照顾它们特别费心。
03:45
So evolution演化 has helped帮助 us out
with this hormone激素 called oxytocin催产素.
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所以进化用了一种叫做催产素的激素
来帮助我们解决这个难题。
03:50
It's released发布 around childbirth分娩
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分娩时身体会释放催产素,
03:53
and also during skin-to-skin皮肤到皮肤 touch触摸,
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(与婴儿)皮肤接触时
也会释放催产素,
03:55
so it rises上升 even if you didn't
give birth分娩 to the baby宝宝.
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所以即便你没在生孩子,
身体也会分泌催产素。
03:59
Oxytocin催产素 helps帮助 a human人的 mother's母亲 brain
zoom放大 in, pulling her attention注意 in,
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催产素帮助人类母亲的大脑集中
精力、 把她的注意力“拉”过来,
04:05
so that the baby宝宝 is now
at the center中央 of her world世界.
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让宝宝成为她当下世界的中心。
04:08
But at the same相同 time,
her mind心神 is pushing推动 away,
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但与此同时, 理智
把她从宝宝身上“推”开,
04:13
because she remembers记得 there are
all these other parts部分 to her identity身分 --
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因为她想起来自己的
身份还包含了其他内容——
04:19
other relationships关系,
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其他各种关系、
04:21
her work,
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她的工作、
04:22
hobbies爱好,
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自己的爱好、
04:24
a spiritual精神 and intellectual知识分子 life,
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精神和知性生活,
04:26
not to mention提到 physical物理 needs需求:
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更不用说生理需要了:
04:28
to sleep睡觉, to eat, to exercise行使,
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要睡觉、 吃饭、 运动、
04:32
to have sex性别,
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过性生活、
04:33
to go to the bathroom浴室,
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去洗手间,
04:35
alone单独 --
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一个人去做以上这些事情——
04:36
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
04:37
if possible可能.
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如果可能的话。
04:39
This is the emotional情绪化
tug-of-war拔河 of matrescencematrescence.
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这就是孕乳期的情感纠葛,
04:44
This is the tension张力
the women妇女 calling调用 me were feeling感觉.
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这就是给我打电话的
女士们所感受到的不安,
04:47
It's why they thought they were sick生病.
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这就是为什么她们认为自己病了。
04:51
If women妇女 understood了解 the natural自然
progression级数 of matrescencematrescence,
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如果女性已经知晓了
孕乳期的自然发展过程,
04:55
if they knew知道 that most people found发现 it
hard to live生活 inside this push and pull,
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如果她们已明白大多数人很难
在这种“推和拉”的矛盾中生活,
05:01
if they knew知道 that under
these circumstances情况,
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如果她们已然知晓:
在这种情形之下,
05:04
ambivalence矛盾 was normal正常
and nothing to be ashamed羞愧 of,
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矛盾心理是正常的,
没有什么可羞愧的,
05:09
they would feel less alone单独,
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她们就不会那么孤单无助,
05:11
they would feel less stigmatized污名化,
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也就会少一些自责,
05:13
and I think it would even reduce减少
rates利率 of postpartum产后 depression萧条.
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我认为做到这一点甚至会
降低产后抑郁症的发病率。
05:18
I'd love to study研究 that one day.
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我很乐意有一天能研究这个课题。
05:21
I'm a believer信徒 in talk therapy治疗,
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我信奉谈话疗法,
05:23
so if we're going to change更改 the way
our culture文化 understands理解
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所以,如果我们要改变我们的文化
05:26
this transition过渡 to motherhood母亲,
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对女人转变为母亲的看法,
05:27
women妇女 need to be talking to each other,
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女人们需要互相交谈,
05:30
not just me.
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而不仅仅是与我交流。
05:32
So mothers母亲, talk about your matrescencematrescence
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所以妈妈们,跟其他母亲
谈论你的孕乳期感受吧,
05:35
with other mothers母亲, with your friends朋友,
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也可以和朋友交流,
05:38
and, if you have one, with your partner伙伴,
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如果有条件的话,也要和
伴侣交流自己的感受,
05:40
so that they can understand理解
their own拥有 transition过渡
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这样他们也能知晓
自己的角色转变,
05:43
and better support支持 you.
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会更好地支持你。
05:45
But it's not just about
protecting保护 your relationship关系.
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但这不仅仅是为了
保护你和周围人的关系,
05:49
When you preserve保留
a separate分离 part部分 of your identity身分,
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当保留你身份中独立部分的同时,
05:53
you're also leaving离开 room房间
for your child儿童 to develop发展 their own拥有.
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你也为孩子留出了自我发展的空间。
05:58
When a baby宝宝 is born天生, so is a mother母亲,
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当婴儿降临时,母亲也会获得新生,
06:02
each unsteady不稳定 in their own拥有 way.
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母子二人都踉跄着探索自己脚下的路。
06:05
MatrescenceMatrescence is profound深刻,
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孕乳期意义深远,
06:07
but it's also hard,
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但也很艰难,
06:09
and that's what makes品牌 it human人的.
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也正是这一点造就了人类。
06:12
Thank you.
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谢谢大家!
06:13
(Applause掌声)
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(掌声)
Translated by Carol Wang
Reviewed by Phyllis Lin

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Alexandra Sacks - Reproductive psychiatrist
Alexandra Sacks, M.D. is widely recognized as the leading clinical expert on matrescence: the developmental transition into motherhood.

Why you should listen

Alexandra Sacks has spent the last decade of her career helping women navigate their emotional lives as a reproductive psychiatrist. She is a regular contributor to the New York Times, and her work has been featured in TIME, NPR and throughout Asia, Europe and Latin America.

Board-certified in psychiatry with specialty fellowship training in women's mental health via New York Presbyterian Cornell and Columbia, Sacks helms a private practice in New York City and serves on the advisory boards for the American Psychoanalytic Association and the Columbia Psychoanalytic Center for Training and Research. In April 2019, Dr. Sacks will publish her first co-authored book, What No One Tells You: A Guide to Your Emotions from Pregnancy to Motherhood (Simon and Schuster).

More profile about the speaker
Alexandra Sacks | Speaker | TED.com

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