ABOUT THE SPEAKER

Andrew Solomon - Writer
Andrew Solomon writes about politics, culture and psychology.

Why you should listen

Andrew Solomon is a writer, lecturer and Professor of Clinical Psychology at Columbia University. He is president of PEN American Center. He writes regularly for The New Yorker and the New York Times.

Solomon's newest book, Far and Away: Reporting from the Brink of Change, Seven Continents, Twenty-Five Years was published in April, 2016. His previous book, Far From the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity won the National Book Critics Circle award for nonfiction, the Wellcome Prize and 22 other national awards. It tells the stories of parents who not only learn to deal with their exceptional children but also find profound meaning in doing so. It was a New York Times bestseller in both hardcover and paperback editions. Solomon's previous book, The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression, won the 2001 National Book Award for Nonfiction, was a finalist for the 2002 Pulitzer Prize and was included in The Times of London's list of one hundred best books of the decade. It has been published in twenty-four languages. Solomon is also the author of the novel A Stone Boat and of The Irony Tower: Soviet Artists in a Time of Glasnost.

Solomon is an activist in LGBT rights, mental health, education and the arts. He is a member of the boards of directors of the National LGBTQ Force and Trans Youth Family Allies. He is a member of the Board of Visitors of Columbia University Medical Center, serves on the National Advisory Board of the Depression Center at the University of Michigan, is a director of Columbia Psychiatry and is a member of the Advisory Board of the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance. Solomon also serves on the boards of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, Yaddo and The Alex Fund, which supports the education of Romani children. He is also a fellow of Berkeley College at Yale University and a member of the New York Institute for the Humanities and the Council on Foreign Relations.

Solomon lives with his husband and son in New York and London and is a dual national. He also has a daughter with a college friend; mother and daughter live in Texas but visit often.

More profile about the speaker
Andrew Solomon | Speaker | TED.com

TEDxMet

Andrew Solomon: Depression, the secret we share

Andrew Solomon: Depresija, tajna koju dijelimo

Filmed: 2013-10-23

Readability: 3.5

10,174,764 views

"Suprotno od depresije nije sreća, nego životna snaga, i životna snaga je ono što se činilo da curi iz mene u tom trenutku." U jednako elokventnom i razočarajućem govoru, pisac Andrew Solomon vodi vas do najmračnijih kutaka svog uma tokom perioda u kojem se borio protiv depresije. To ga je dovelo do putovanja širom svijeta koje mu je otvorilo oči. Intervjuisao je ljude sa depresijom da bi otkrio, na svoje iznenađenje, da što više govori, to su ljudi spremniji da pričaju svoje priče. (Snimano na TEDxMet.)

Andrew Solomon - Writer
Andrew Solomon writes about politics, culture and psychology. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:15

"I feltosećao se a funeralpogreb in my brainmozak,

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"Osjetih pogreb, u svom mozgu,

00:19

and mournersožalošćenih to and froamo-tamo

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A Žalobnici uzvrzmani

00:22

keptčuva treadingmiješam, treadingmiješam tilldo I feltosećao se

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Gaze - i gaze - sve dok ne bi

00:24

that sensesmisao was breakinglomljenje throughkroz.

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Ko da moj um se probi vani

00:27

And when they all were seatedsedi,

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A kad su sjeli, svi,

00:29

a serviceusluga, like a drumbubanj,

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Obred je poput bubnja

00:31

keptčuva beatingpremlaćivanje, beatingpremlaćivanje, tilldo I feltosećao se

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stao da bije - i bije sve dok ne pomislih

00:34

my mindum was going numbnumb.

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Da moja pamet obamrije

00:37

And then I heardčuo them liftlift a boxbox

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A kada čuh da kovčeg dižu

00:39

and creakŠkripi acrosspreko my souldušu

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I kroz dušu mi škripe one

00:41

with those sameisto bootsčizme of leadolovo again,

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Iste olovne čizme, opet,

00:45

then spaceprostor beganpočeo to tollputarina,

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Prostori tada - stade da zvone,

00:48

as if the heavensnebesa were a bellzvono

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Ko da su sva nebesa - zvono

00:50

and beingbiće were an earuho,

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A biće, samo uvo samo,

00:52

and I, and silencetišina, some strangečudno racetrka

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Tišina, i ja, čudno pleme

00:55

wreckedUništio, solitaryosamljeni, here.

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Ovdje, brodolomno i samo

00:58

Just then, a plankdaska in reasonrazlog brokeslomio,

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Tad u Razumu puče Daska

01:01

and I fellpao down and down

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I padala sam niže, niže,

01:05

and hitudario a worldsvet at everysvaki plungeponiranje,

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Po jedan svijet zgodih svakim

01:07

and finishedZavršeno knowingznajući then."

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Uronom – i kraj znanja stiže".

01:12

We know depressiondepresija throughkroz metaphorsmetafore.

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Poznajemo depresiju kroz metafore

01:15

EmilyEmily DickinsonDickinson was ablesposoban to conveyprenosi it in languagejezik,

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Emily Dickinson prenijela ju je jezikom,

01:19

GoyaGoya in an imageslika.

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Goya u slici.

01:22

HalfPola the purposesvrha of artart

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Dio svrhe umjetnosti

01:24

is to describeopišite suchtakve iconickultni statesdržave.

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je da opiše takva ikonska stanja.

01:27

As for me, I had always thought myselfja toughteško,

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Sebe sam uvijek smatrao jakim,

01:31

one of the people who could surviveopstaju

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jedan od onih koji bi mogli preživjeti

01:33

if I'd been sentposlat to a concentrationkoncentracija campkamp.

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u koncentracionom logoru.

01:36

In 1991, I had a seriesserije of lossesgubici.

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Godine 1991 doživio sam nekoliko gubitaka

01:39

My mothermajka diedumro,

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Majka mi je umrla,

01:41

a relationshipveza I'd been in endedzavršio,

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veza mi je pukla,

01:43

I movedpreselio se back to the UnitedUjedinjeni StatesDržava

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vratio sam se nazad u SAD

01:45

from some yearsgodine abroadu inostranstvu,

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nakon nekoliko godina u inostranstvu,

01:47

and I got throughkroz all of those experiencesiskustva intactnetaknut.

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i izašao sam čitav iz svih tih iskustava.

01:50

But in 1994, threetri yearsgodine laterkasnije,

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Ali 1994, tri godine poslije,

01:53

I foundpronađeno myselfja losinggubljenje interestinteresovanje in almostgotovo everything.

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počeo sam gubiti interest za skoro sve.

01:57

I didn't want to do any of the things

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Nisam ništa želio raditi

01:59

I had previouslyranije wanted to do,

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što sam prije želio,

02:01

and I didn't know why.

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i nisam znao zašto.

02:03

The oppositesuprotno of depressiondepresija

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Suprotno od depresije

02:05

is not happinesssreća, but vitalityvitalnost,

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nije sreća, nego životna snaga,

02:08

and it was vitalityvitalnost

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i životna snaga je ono

02:10

that seemedizgledalo je to seepcuriti away from me in that momentmomenat.

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što se činilo da curi iz mene u tom trenutku.

02:14

Everything there was to do

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Sve što je trebalo uraditi

02:16

seemedizgledalo je like too much work.

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se činilo kao previše posla.

02:18

I would come home

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Došao bih kući

02:20

and I would see the redcrvena lightsvetlo
flashingBlijesak on my answeringodgovarajući machinemašina,

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i vidio bih crveno svjetlo kako bljeska na telefonskoj sekretarici

02:23

and insteadumjesto toga of beingbiće thrilleduzbuđeni to hearčuti from my friendsprijatelji,

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i umjesto da budem oduševljen da čujem prijatelje,

02:25

I would think,

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pomislii bih,

02:27

"What a lot of people that is to have to call back."

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"Koliko puno ljudi moram nazvati."

02:30

Or I would decideodlučiti I should have lunchručak,

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Ili bih odlučio da jeden,

02:32

and then I would think, but
I'd have to get the foodhrana out

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i onda bih pomislio, ali moram izvaditi hranu

02:35

and put it on a plateploča

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i staviti je na tanjir

02:37

and cutcut it up and chewžvakati it and swallowprogutati it,

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i izrezati, žvakati, progutati,

02:41

and it feltosećao se to me like the StationsStanice of the CrossKriž.

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i činilo mi se kao Križni put.

02:45

And one of the things that oftenčesto getsdobiva lostizgubljeno

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Jedna od onih stvari koja se često ispusti

02:47

in discussionsdiskusije of depressiondepresija

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u raspravi o depresiji

02:49

is that you know it's ridiculoussmešno.

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je da znamo da je smiješno.

02:51

You know it's ridiculoussmešno while you're experiencingdoživljavajući it.

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Znamo da je smiješno dok prolazimo kroz to iskustvo.

02:54

You know that mostnajviše people manageupravljati

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Znamo da većina ljudi uspijeva

02:56

to listen to theirnjihova messagesporuke and eatjesti lunchručak

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da sasluša poruke i jede

02:58

and organizeorganizovati themselvessami to take a showertuš

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i tušira se

03:00

and go out the frontfront doorvrata

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i izađe na prednja vrata

03:02

and that it's not a bigveliki dealdogovoriti,

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i to nije velika stvar,

03:03

and yetjoš uvek you are nonethelessipak in its gripgrip

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ali smo opet pod njenom kontrolom

03:06

and you are unablenesposoban to figurefigura out any way around it.

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ali ne možemo naći način da je izbjegnemo.

03:10

And so I beganpočeo to feel myselfja doing lessmanje

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I tako sam osjećao da manje radim

03:15

and thinkingrazmišljanje lessmanje

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manje mislim

03:17

and feelingosećanje lessmanje.

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i manje osjećam.

03:19

It was a kindkind of nullityništavilo.

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Bila je to vrsta ništavnosti.

03:22

And then the anxietyanksioznost setset in.

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A onda je nastupila anksioznost.

03:24

If you told me that I'd have to be

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Ako mi kažete da moram

03:26

depresseddepresivan for the nextsledeći monthmesec,

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biti depresivan sljedeći mjesec,

03:28

I would say, "As long I know it'llto će be
over in NovemberStudeni, I can do it."

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rekao bih, "Samo ako bude gotovo u novembru, onda mogu."

03:31

But if you said to me,

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Ali ako mi kažete,

03:32

"You have to have acuteakutni anxietyanksioznost for the nextsledeći monthmesec,"

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"Moraš imati akutnu aksioznost sljedeći mjesec,"

03:35

I would ratherpre slitrazrez my wristzglob than go throughkroz it.

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radije bih se ubio neko prošao kroz to.

03:38

It was the feelingosećanje all the time

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To je osjećaj svo vrijeme

03:40

like that feelingosećanje you have if you're walkinghodanje

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kao da hodate

03:42

and you slipslip or tripputovanje

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i okliznete se ili spotaknete se

03:43

and the groundzemlja is rushingbrzo up at you,

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i zemlja juri prema vama,

03:45

but insteadumjesto toga of lastingtrajanju halfpola a
secondsekunda, the way that does,

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ali umjesto da traje pola sekunde, kao obično,

03:48

it lastedje trajao for sixšest monthsmjeseci.

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traje 6 mjeseci.

03:50

It's a sensationsenzacija of beingbiće afraiduplašen all the time

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To je osjećaj stalnog straha

03:53

but not even knowingznajući what it is that you're afraiduplašen of.

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ali ne znajući čega se bojimo.

03:57

And it was at that pointtačka that I beganpočeo to think

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I u tom trenutku sam počeo misliti

03:59

that it was just too painfulbolan to be aliveživ,

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da je živjeti prebolno,

04:03

and that the only reasonrazlog not to killubij oneselfsebe

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i da jedini razlog da neko ne počini samoubistvo

04:06

was so as not to hurtboli other people.

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jeste da ne povrijedi druge ljude.

04:09

And finallykonačno one day, I wokeprobudio se up

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Najzad, jednog dana sam se probudio

04:12

and I thought perhapsmožda I'd had a strokemoždani udar,

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i pomislio da sam možda imao moždani udar,

04:14

because I layležati in bedkrevet completelypotpuno frozensmrznuto,

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jer sam ležao u krevetu potpuno zamrznut,

04:16

looking at the telephonetelefon, thinkingrazmišljanje,

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gledajući u telefon, pomislio sam,

04:18

"Something is wrongpogrešno and I should call for help,"

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"Nešto nije uredu, trebam pomoć,"

04:22

and I couldn'tnije mogao reachdostignuti out my armruka

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i nisam mogao ispružiti ruku

04:24

and pickpick up the phonetelefon and dialbiranje.

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da podignem slušalicu i okrenem broj.

04:26

And finallykonačno, after fourčetiri fullpun hourssati
of my lyinglaganje and staringzureći at it,

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Na poslijetku, nakon puna četiri sata ležanja i zurenja,

04:30

the phonetelefon rangzazvonio,

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telefon je zazvonio,

04:32

and somehownekako I managedupravlja to pickpick it up,

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i nekako sam uspio da se javim.

04:34

and it was my fatherotac,

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To je bio moj otac,

04:36

and I said, "I'm in seriousozbiljan troublenevolja.

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rekao sam, "U ozbiljnoj sam nevoji.

04:39

We need to do something."

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Moramo poduzeti nešto."

04:41

The nextsledeći day I startedzapočet with the medicationslijekovi

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Naredni dan počeo sam sa ljekovima

04:44

and the therapyterapija.

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i terapijom.

04:47

And I alsotakođe startedzapočet reckoningobračun

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Također sam počeo misliti

04:49

with this terriblestrašno questionpitanje:

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o ovim užasnim pitanjem:

04:51

If I'm not the toughteško personosoba

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Ako nisam snažna osoba

04:53

who could have madenapravljen it
throughkroz a concentrationkoncentracija campkamp,

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koja bi mogla preživjeti u koncentracionom logoru,

04:56

then who am I?

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ko sam onda ja?

04:57

And if I have to take medicationlekovi,

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Ako moram uzimati ljekove,

04:59

is that medicationlekovi makingstvaranje me more fullypotpuno myselfja,

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da li sam ono što jesam zbog tog lijeka

05:03

or is it makingstvaranje me someoneneko elsedrugo?

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ili neko drugi?

05:05

And how do I feel about it

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I kako se osjećam zbog toga

05:07

if it's makingstvaranje me someoneneko elsedrugo?

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što postajem neko drugi?

05:09

I had two advantagesprednosti as I wentotišao in to the fightborba.

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Imao sam dvije prednosti u toj borbi.

05:13

The first is that I knewznao je that, objectivelyobjektivno speakinggovoreći,

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Prvo je što sam znao, objektivno govoreći,

05:16

I had a nicelepo life,

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da imam lijep život,

05:17

and that if I could only get well,

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i ako bih samo ozdravio,

05:19

there was something at the other endkraj

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postoji nešto s druge strane

05:21

that was worthvrijedi livingživi for.

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zbog čega vrijedi živjeti.

05:23

And the other was that I had
accesspristup to good treatmentliječenje.

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Drugo je da sam imao pristup dobrom liječenju.

05:26

But I nonethelessipak emergedpojavila se and relapsedrelapsed,

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Ali svejedno stanje se poboljšavalo pa pogoršavalo,

05:29

and emergedpojavila se and relapsedrelapsed,

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i poboljšavalo pa pogoršavalo

05:32

and emergedpojavila se and relapsedrelapsed,

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i poboljšavalo pa pogoršavalo,

05:35

and finallykonačno understoodrazumljiv

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i konačno sam shvatio

05:37

I would have to be on medicationlekovi

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da ću biti na lijekovima

05:39

and in therapyterapija foreverzauvek.

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i terapijama zauvijek.

05:41

And I thought, "But is it a chemicalhemijski problemproblem

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Pomislio sam, "Da li je ovo hemijski problem

05:44

or a psychologicalpsihološki problemproblem?

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ili psihološki?

05:45

And does it need a chemicalhemijski curelek
or a philosophicalfilozofski curelek?"

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I da li zahtijeva hemijski ili filozofski lijek?"

05:49

And I couldn'tnije mogao figurefigura out whichšto it was.

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Nisam mogao da shvatim koje.

05:51

And then I understoodrazumljiv that actuallyzapravo,

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I onda sam shvatio da zapravo,

05:54

we aren'tnisu advancednapredno enoughdosta in eitherbilo to areapodručje

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nismo napredovali dovoljno ni u jednom području

05:56

for it to explainobjasni things fullypotpuno.

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da bismo objasnili stvari u potpunosti.

05:58

The chemicalhemijski curelek and the psychologicalpsihološki curelek

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I hemijski i psihološki lijek

06:01

bothoboje have a roleuloga to playigraj,

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imaju svoju ulogu,

06:03

and I alsotakođe figuredfigured out that depressiondepresija was something

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također sam shvatio da je depresija nešto

06:06

that was braidedpletena so deepduboko into us

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duboko upleteno u nama

06:09

that there was no separatingrazdvajanje it

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da se ne može otpetljati

06:10

from our characterkarakter and personalityličnost.

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iz našeg karaktera i ličnosti.

06:13

I want to say that the treatmentstretmani we have

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Želim reći da su liječenja koja imamo

06:15

for depressiondepresija are appallinggrozno.

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za depresiju užasna.

06:17

They're not very effectiveefikasan.

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Nisu baš uspješna.

06:19

They're extremelyekstremno costlyskupo.

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Veoma su skupa.

06:21

They come with innumerablebezbroj sidestrana effectsefekti.

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Imaju bezbroj posljedica.

06:24

They're a disasterkatastrofa.

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To je katastrofa.

06:25

But I am so gratefulzahvalni that I liveuživo now

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Ali ja sam zahvalan što živim sada

06:28

and not 50 yearsgodine agopre,

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a ne prije 50 godina,

06:30

when there would have been almostgotovo nothing

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kada se skoro ništa

06:32

to be donezavršeno.

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nije moglo uraditi.

06:33

I hopenadam se that 50 yearsgodine henceotuda,

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Otuda se nadam da za 50 godina

06:36

people will hearčuti about my treatmentstretmani

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ljudi će čuti za moje liječenje

06:37

and be appalledužasnut that anyonebilo ko enduredpodnio

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i da će biti zaprepašteni da je neko mogao izdržati

06:40

suchtakve primitiveprimitivna sciencenauka.

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2826

tako primitivnu nauku.

06:42

DepressionDepresija is the flawmana in love.

154

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4556

Depresija je mana u ljubavi.

06:47

If you were marriedoženjen to someoneneko and thought,

155

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3141

Ako ste vjenčani za nekoga i pomislite,

06:50

"Well, if my wifesupruga diesumire, I'll find anotherdrugi one,"

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3595

"Pa, ako moja žena umre, naći ću neku drugu,"

06:54

it wouldn'tne bi be love as we know it.

157

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3046

to ne bi bila ljubav kakvu poznajemo.

06:57

There's no suchtakve thing as love

158

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1950

Ne postoji ljubav

06:59

withoutbez the anticipationIščekivanje of lossgubitak,

159

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2644

bez iščekivanja gubitka,

07:01

and that specterspektar of despairočaj

160

409817

2584

i taj predosjećaj očaja

07:04

can be the enginemotor of intimacyintimnost.

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3729

može biti motor prisnosti.

07:08

There are threetri things people tendtendencija to confusezbuniti:

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2929

Postoje tri stvari koje ljudi brkaju:

07:11

depressiondepresija, griefTuga and sadnesstuga.

163

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3800

depresija, žalost, i tuga.

07:14

GriefTuga is explicitlyeksplicitno reactivereaktivne.

164

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3286

Žalost je izrazito reaktivna.

07:18

If you have a lossgubitak and you feel incrediblyNeverovatno unhappynesretni,

165

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2959

Ako ste nekoga izgubli, i osjećate se nevjerovatno nesretni,

07:21

and then, sixšest monthsmjeseci laterkasnije,

166

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1633

i 6 mjeseci kasnije,

07:22

you are still deeplyduboko sadtužan, but
you're functioningfunkcionira a little better,

167

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3222

i dalje ste jako tužni, ali sada malo bolje funkcionišete,

07:25

it's probablyvjerovatno griefTuga,

168

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1728

to je vjerovatno žalost,

07:27

and it will probablyvjerovatno ultimatelyna kraju resolverešiti itselfsam

169

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2292

i na koncu će se vjerovatno riješiti

07:29

in some measuremjeru.

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1449

do određene mjere.

07:31

If you experienceiskustvo a catastrophickatastrofalno lossgubitak,

171

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2751

Ako doživite katastrofalan gubitak,

07:34

and you feel terriblestrašno,

172

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1214

i osjećate se strašno,

07:35

and sixšest monthsmjeseci laterkasnije you can barelyjedva functionfunkcija at all,

173

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2997

i šest mjeseci poslije jedva možete funkcionisati,

07:38

then it's probablyvjerovatno a depressiondepresija that was triggeredpokrenuti

174

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2585

onda je vjerovatno depresija izazvana

07:40

by the catastrophickatastrofalno circumstancesokolnosti.

175

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2474

katastrofalnim okolnostima.

07:43

The trajectoryputanja tellskaže us a great dealdogovoriti.

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3632

Putanja nam govori mnogo toga.

07:47

People think of depressiondepresija as beingbiće just sadnesstuga.

177

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3358

Ljudi misle da je depresija samo tuga.

07:50

It's much, much too much sadnesstuga,

178

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2336

To je mnogo, mnogo, previše tuge,

07:52

much too much griefTuga

179

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mnogo, previše žalosti

07:54

at fardaleko too slightblago a causeuzrok.

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2929

zbog previše nevažnog uzroka.

07:57

As I setset out to understandrazumijete depressiondepresija,

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2747

Kada sam krenuo da shvatim depresiju,

08:00

and to interviewintervju people who had experiencediskusan it,

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2835

i da ispitujem ljude koji su je iskusili,

08:02

I foundpronađeno that there were people who seemedizgledalo je

183

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3031

otkrio sam da ima ljudi koji se čine

08:05

on the surfacepovršine to have what soundedzvučalo like

184

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1705

na površini kao da imaju

08:07

relativelyrelativno mildblago depressiondepresija

185

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2062

relativno blagu depresiju

08:09

who were nonethelessipak utterlykrajnje disabledonemogućeno by it.

186

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3447

koja ih je svejedno potpuno onesposobila.

08:13

And there were other people who had what soundedzvučalo

187

481195

1858

A postoje drugi ljudi koji

08:15

as they describedopisano it

188

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1312

su opisali

08:16

like terriblystrašno severeozbiljna depressiondepresija

189

484365

2251

da imaju užasno tešku depresiju

08:18

who nonethelessipak had good livesživi in the intersticesinterstices

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2815

koji su svjedno vodili dobre živote u intervalima

08:21

betweenizmeđu theirnjihova depressivedepresivni episodesepizode.

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2155

između njihovih depresivnih epizoda.

08:23

And I setset out to find out what it is

192

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2685

I krenuo sam da istražim šta je to

08:26

that causesuzroke some people

193

494271

1603

što uzrokuje neke ljude

08:27

to be more resilientelastičan than other people.

194

495874

2253

da budu više otporni nego drugi ljudi.

08:30

What are the mechanismsmehanizmi

195

498127

1559

Koji su to mehanizmi

08:31

that allowdopustiti people to surviveopstaju?

196

499686

1844

koji omogućavaju ljudima da prežive?

08:33

And I wentotišao out and I interviewedintervjuisano personosoba after personosoba

197

501530

3169

Krenuo sam i intervjuisao ljude

08:36

who was sufferingpatnja with depressiondepresija.

198

504699

2175

koji su patili od depresije.

08:38

One of the first people I interviewedintervjuisano

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1951

Jedan od prvih koje sam intervjuisao

08:40

describedopisano depressiondepresija

200

508825

1881

je opisao depresiju

08:42

as a slowersporije way of beingbiće deadsmrt,

201

510706

3261

kao sporiji način od mrtvog stanja,

08:45

and that was a good thing for me to hearčuti earlyrano on

202

513967

2124

i bilo je dobro da sam to čuo na početku

08:48

because it remindedpodsetio me

203

516091

1366

jer me je podsjetilo

08:49

that that slowsporo way of beingbiće deadsmrt

204

517457

1999

da taj način

08:51

can leadolovo to actualstvarno deadnessTo će,

205

519456

2035

može dovesti do stvarnog mrtvila,

08:53

that this is a seriousozbiljan businessposlovanje.

206

521491

2004

da je ovo ozbiljno.

08:55

It's the leadingvodeći disabilityinvalidnosti worldwideširom svijeta,

207

523495

2659

To je glavna invalidnost širom svijeta,

08:58

and people dieumri of it everysvaki day.

208

526154

3030

i ljudi umiru zbog toga svaki dan.

09:01

One of the people I talkedpričao to

209

529184

1769

Jedna od osoba s kojima sam razgovarao

09:02

when I was tryingpokušavajući to understandrazumijete this

210

530953

1974

kada sam pokušao ovo dokučiti

09:04

was a belovedvoljeni friendprijatelju

211

532927

1668

je bila draga prijateljica

09:06

who I had knownpoznato for manymnogi yearsgodine,

212

534595

2018

koju sam poznavao mnogo godina,

09:08

and who had had a psychoticpsihotično episodeEpizoda

213

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2542

i koja je imala psihotičnu epizodu

09:11

in her freshmanbrucoš yeargodina of collegekoledž,

214

539155

1904

kao brucoš na fakultetu,

09:13

and then plummetedsu se pogoršali into a horrificužasno depressiondepresija.

215

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3056

i onda je pala u užasnu depresiju.

09:16

She had bipolarbipolarni illnessbolest,

216

544115

1426

Imala je bipolarni poremećaj,

09:17

or manicmanične depressiondepresija, as it was then knownpoznato.

217

545541

2643

ili maničnu depresiju.

09:20

And then she did very well

218

548184

2044

Onda joj je godinama bilo

09:22

for manymnogi yearsgodine on lithiumlitijum,

219

550228

1708

dobro na litijumu,

09:23

and then eventuallyna kraju,

220

551936

1375

zatim je

09:25

she was takenuzeti off her lithiumlitijum

221

553311

1960

bila skinuta sa litijuma

09:27

to see how she would do withoutbez it,

222

555271

1835

da bi se ustanovilo kako će joj biti bez toga,

09:29

and she had anotherdrugi psychosispsihoza,

223

557106

1975

pa je dobila novu psihozu,

09:31

and then plungedumočen into the worstnajgore depressiondepresija

224

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2338

i zapala je u najgoru depresiju

09:33

that I had ever seenviđeni

225

561419

1872

koju sam ikada vidio

09:35

in whichšto she satsat in her parents'roditelja apartmentstan,

226

563291

3015

u kojoj je sjedila u stanu svojih roditelja,

09:38

more or lessmanje catatonickatatoničan, essentiallyesencijalno withoutbez movingkretanje,

227

566306

3077

manje ili više katatonična, nepokretna,

09:41

day after day after day.

228

569383

2482

dan za danom.

09:43

And when I interviewedintervjuisano her about
that experienceiskustvo some yearsgodine laterkasnije --

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571865

3217

I kada sam je ispitivao u vezi tog iskustva nekoliko godina poslije --

09:47

she's a poetpjesnik and psychotherapistpsihoterapeut
namedimenovan MaggieMaggie RobbinsRobbins —

230

575082

3331

ona je pjesnikinja i psihoterapeut Maggie Robbins --

09:50

when I interviewedintervjuisano her, she said,

231

578413

3233

kada sam je intervjuisao, rekla je,

09:53

"I was singingpjevati 'Where' Gdje Have All The FlowersCvijeće Gone'Nema '

232

581646

3384

"Pjevala sam 'Where Have All The Flowers Gone'

09:57

over and over to occupyzauzeti my mindum.

233

585030

3210

iznova da zaokupiram misli.

10:00

I was singingpjevati to blotmrlja out the
things my mindum was sayinggovoreći,

234

588240

3135

Pjevala sam da izbrišem stvari koje je govorio moj mozak,

10:03

whichšto were, 'You' Te are nothing. You are nobodyniko.

235

591375

4490

a to su, 'Ti si ništa. Ti si niko.

10:07

You don't even deservezaslužuju to liveuživo.'

236

595865

2826

Ti ne zaslužuješ da živiš.'

10:10

And that was when I really startedzapočet thinkingrazmišljanje

237

598691

2178

I tada sam zaista počela pomišljati

10:12

about killingubistvo myselfja."

238

600869

2213

na samoubistvo."

10:15

You don't think in depressiondepresija

239

603082

1908

U depresiji ne smatraš

10:16

that you've put on a graysiva veilveo

240

604990

2137

da imaš sivi veo

10:19

and are seeingvidjeti the worldsvet throughkroz the hazemagla

241

607127

1980

i da gledaš svijet kroz maglu

10:21

of a badloše moodraspoloženje.

242

609107

1894

lošeg raspoloženja.

10:23

You think that the veilveo has been takenuzeti away,

243

611001

2720

Smatraš da je veo sklonjen,

10:25

the veilveo of happinesssreća,

244

613721

1922

veo sreće,

10:27

and that now you're seeingvidjeti trulyzaista.

245

615643

2424

i da sada uistinu gledaš.

10:30

It's easierlakše to help schizophrenicsŠizofreničari who perceivedoživljavaju

246

618067

2964

Lakše je pomoći šizofreničarima koji osjećaju

10:33

that there's something foreignstrani insideunutra of them

247

621031

1811

da ima nešto strano u njima

10:34

that needspotrebe to be exorcisedistjeran,

248

622842

2187

koje treba istjerati,

10:37

but it's difficultteško with depressivesdepresivne osobe,

249

625029

2164

nego depresivcima,

10:39

because we believe we are seeingvidjeti the truthistina.

250

627193

3847

jer mislimo da vidimo istinu.

10:43

But the truthistina lieslaži.

251

631040

2947

Ali istina laže.

10:45

I becamepostao obsessedopsednut with that sentencekazna:

252

633987

1998

Postao sam opsjednut tom rečenicom:

10:47

"But the truthistina lieslaži."

253

635985

2375

"Ali istina laže".

10:50

And I discoveredotkriveni, as I talkedpričao to depressivedepresivni people,

254

638360

2453

Kako sam razgovarao sa depresivnim ljudima, otkrio sam

10:52

that they have manymnogi delusionalsumanuti perceptionspercepcije.

255

640813

2682

da imaju mnoge obmanjujuće percepcije.

10:55

People will say, "No one lovesvoli me."

256

643495

1667

Ljudi kažu, "Niko me ne voli."

10:57

And you say, "I love you,

257

645162

1651

I ti kažeš, "Ja te volim,

10:58

your wifesupruga lovesvoli you, your mothermajka lovesvoli you."

258

646813

2522

tvoja žena te voli, tvoja majka te voli."

11:01

You can answerodgovor that one prettylepo readilylako,

259

649335

1923

To možete spremno reći,

11:03

at leastnajmanje for mostnajviše people.

260

651258

1665

barem za većinu ljudi.

11:04

But people who are depresseddepresivan will alsotakođe say,

261

652923

2267

Ali ljudi koju su depresivni će reći,

11:07

"No matterstvar what we do,

262

655190

1705

"Šta god da uradimo,

11:08

we're all just going to dieumri in the endkraj."

263

656895

2273

ipak ćemo umrijeti na kraju."

11:11

Or they'lloni će say, "There can be no trueistinito communionzajedništvo

264

659168

2203

Ili će reći, "Pravo zajedništvo

11:13

betweenizmeđu two humančovjek beingsbića.

265

661371

1653

dvoje ljudi ne postoji.

11:15

EachSvaki of us is trappedzarobljen in his ownvlastiti bodytelo."

266

663024

2576

Svako je zatočen u svom tijelu."

11:17

To whichšto you have to say,

267

665600

1849

Na što morate odgovoriti,

11:19

"That's trueistinito,

268

667449

1321

"To je istina,

11:20

but I think we should focusfokus right now

269

668770

1818

ali mislim da se moramo fokusirati na sada

11:22

on what to have for breakfastdoručak."

270

670588

1896

na ono što ćemo doručkovati."

11:24

(LaughterSmijeh)

271

672484

2185

(Smijeh)

11:26

A lot of the time,

272

674669

1669

Većinu vremena,

11:28

what they are expressingizražavajući is not illnessbolest, but insightuvid,

273

676338

2896

oni ne izražavaju bolest, već spoznaju,

11:31

and one comesdolazi to think what's really extraordinaryizvanredan

274

679234

2657

a ono što je stvarno izuzetno

11:33

is that mostnajviše of us know about
those existentialegzistencijalno questionspitanja

275

681891

2934

je da većina nas je upoznata sa tim egzistencijalnim pitanjima

11:36

and they don't distractodvratiti us very much.

276

684825

2290

i oni nam ne odvlače pažnju puno.

11:39

There was a studystudija I particularlynaročito likedvolio

277

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2159

Jedna studija mi se posebno svidjela

11:41

in whichšto a groupgrupa of depresseddepresivan

278

689274

1680

u kojoj grupa depresivnih

11:42

and a groupgrupa of non-depressedsobe depresivan people

279

690954

1901

i grupa nedepresivnih ljudi

11:44

were askedpitan to playigraj a videovideo gameigra for an hoursat,

280

692855

2623

su igrali video igru jedan sat,

11:47

and at the endkraj of the hoursat,

281

695478

1813

nakon jednog sata,

11:49

they were askedpitan how manymnogi little monstersčudovišta

282

697291

1651

upitani su koliko malih čudovišta

11:50

they thought they had killedubijen.

283

698942

1864

smatraju da su ubili.

11:52

The depressivedepresivni groupgrupa was usuallyobično accuratetačan

284

700806

2212

Grupa depresivnih ljudi je obično bila tačna

11:55

to withinunutar about 10 percentprocenta,

285

703018

2058

do oko 10%,

11:57

and the non-depressedsobe depresivan people

286

705076

1471

a grupa nedepresivnih ljudi

11:58

guessedpogađate betweenizmeđu 15 and 20 timesputa as manymnogi

287

706547

3545

je pogodila između 15 i 20 puta

12:02

little monstersčudovišta — (LaughterSmijeh) —

288

710092

1742

malih čudovišta -- (Smijeh) --

12:03

as they had actuallyzapravo killedubijen.

289

711834

4111

nego što su ih stvarno ubili.

12:07

A lot of people said, when I choseizabrao
to writepisati about my depressiondepresija,

290

715945

3066

Kada sam odlučio pisati o depresiji, mnogi su rekli

12:11

that it mustmora be very difficultteško

291

719011

1769

da mora biti veoma teško

12:12

to be out of that closetormar, to have people know.

292

720780

3124

saopštiti ljudima.

12:15

They said, "Do people talk to you differentlydrugačije?"

293

723904

2200

Oni su rekli, "Da li ljudi pričaju s tobom drugačije?"

12:18

And I said, "Yes, people talk to me differentlydrugačije.

294

726104

2072

A ja sam rekao, "Da, pričaju drugačije.

12:20

They talk to me differentlydrugačije insofarograničenja o

295

728176

1914

Pričaju drugačije tako što

12:22

as they startpočnite tellinggovoreći me about theirnjihova experienceiskustvo,

296

730090

2790

mi počinju pričati svoje iskustvo,

12:24

or theirnjihova sister'ssestre experienceiskustvo,

297

732880

1835

ili iskustvo svoje sestre,

12:26

or theirnjihova friend'sprijateljice experienceiskustvo.

298

734715

1774

ili iskustvo svog prijatelja.

12:28

Things are differentdrugačiji because now I know

299

736489

2292

Drugačije je jer sada znam

12:30

that depressiondepresija is the familyporodica secrettajna

300

738781

2681

da je depresija porodična tajna

12:33

that everyonesvi has.

301

741462

2077

koju svi imaju.

12:35

I wentotišao a fewnekoliko yearsgodine agopre to a conferencekonferencija,

302

743539

3628

Prije nekoliko godina otišao sam na jednu konferenciju

12:39

and on FridayPetak of the three-daytri dana conferencekonferencija,

303

747167

2653

i u petak tokom trodnevne konferencije,

12:41

one of the participantsučesnici tookuzela me asidesa strane, and she said,

304

749820

2891

jedna od učesnica me je odvela u stranu, i rekla,

12:44

"I sufferpatiti from depressiondepresija and

305

752711

3405

"Ja patim od depresije i

12:48

I'm a little embarrassedpostiđen about it,

306

756116

2769

malo me je sram zbog toga,

12:50

but I've been takinguzimajući this medicationlekovi,

307

758885

2103

ali uzimala sam ovaj lijek,

12:52

and I just wanted to askpitajte you what you think?"

308

760988

2948

i samo sam vas željela pitati za vaše mišljenje?"

12:55

And so I did my bestnajbolje to give
her suchtakve advicesavet as I could.

309

763936

2834

Dao sam joj najbolji savjet koji sam mogao.

12:58

And then she said, "You know,

310

766770

1720

Zatim je rekla, "Znate,

13:00

my husbandmuž would never understandrazumijete this.

311

768490

2791

moj muž nikad neće ovo razumijeti.

13:03

He's really the kindkind of guy to whomkoga
this wouldn'tne bi make any sensesmisao,

312

771281

2573

On je tip kojem ovo nema nikakvog smisla,

13:05

so I just, you know, it's just betweenizmeđu us."

313

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2867

to je između nas."

13:08

And I said, "Yes, that's fine."

314

776721

1786

Ja sam rekao, "Da, to je uredu."

13:10

On SundayNedjelja of the sameisto conferencekonferencija,

315

778507

2109

U subotu tokom iste konferencije,

13:12

her husbandmuž tookuzela me asidesa strane,

316

780616

3044

njen muž me je odveo u stranu,

13:15

and he said, "My wifesupruga wouldn'tne bi think

317

783660

1694

i rekao, "Moja žena ne bi mislila

13:17

that I was really much of a guy if she knewznao je this,

318

785354

2435

da sam pravi muškarac da zna ovo,

13:19

but I've been dealingbavljenje with this depressiondepresija

319

787789

2466

ali imam problem sa depresijom

13:22

and I'm takinguzimajući some medicationlekovi,

320

790255

1354

i uzimam neke lijekove,

13:23

and I wonderedpitao se what you think?"

321

791609

2505

i zanimalo me šta vi mislite?"

13:26

They were hidingskrivanje

322

794114

1423

Oni su krili

13:27

the sameisto medicationlekovi in two differentdrugačiji placesmesta

323

795537

2215

isti lijek na različitim mjestima

13:29

in the sameisto bedroomspavaca soba.

324

797752

2645

u istoj spavaćoj sobi.

13:32

And I said that I thought

325

800397

2021

Rekao sam da mislim

13:34

communicationkomunikacija withinunutar the marriagebrak

326

802418

1684

da komunikacija u braku

13:36

mightMožda be triggeringpokreće some of theirnjihova problemsproblemi.

327

804102

2014

možda uzrokuje neke od njihovih problema.

13:38

(LaughterSmijeh)

328

806116

4191

(Smijeh)

13:42

But I was alsotakođe struckudario

329

810307

1655

Ali bio sam iznenađen

13:43

by the burdensometegoban naturepriroda

330

811962

1806

tegobnom prirodom

13:45

of suchtakve mutualmeđusobno secrecytajnost.

331

813768

2373

obostrane tajnovitosti.

13:48

DepressionDepresija is so exhaustingiscrpljujuće.

332

816141

1885

Depresija je tako iscrpljujuća.

13:50

It takes up so much of your time and energyenergija,

333

818026

2768

Oduzima toliko puno vašeg vremena i energije,

13:52

and silencetišina about it,

334

820794

1504

i šutnje o tome

13:54

it really does make the depressiondepresija worselošije.

335

822298

2731

stvarno čini depresiju gorom.

13:57

And then I beganpočeo thinkingrazmišljanje about all the waysnačina

336

825029

1733

Onda sam počeo razmišljati o svim načinima

13:58

people make themselvessami better.

337

826762

1966

na koji ljudi sebi olakšavaju.

14:00

I'd startedzapočet off as a medicalmedicinski conservativekonzervativan.

338

828728

2439

Započeo sam kao medicinski konzervativac.

14:03

I thought there were a fewnekoliko
kindsvrste of therapyterapija that workedradio je,

339

831167

2372

Mislio sam da postoji nekoliko vrsta uspješnih terapija,

14:05

it was clearjasno what they were --

340

833539

1809

jasno je da jesu --

14:07

there was medicationlekovi,

341

835348

1644

postoje lijekovi,

14:08

there were certainsigurno psychotherapiespsihoterapija,

342

836992

1476

postoje određene psihoterapije,

14:10

there was possiblymoguće electroconvulsiveelektrokonvulzivna treatmentliječenje,

343

838468

2445

možda postoji elektrokonvulzivno liječenje,

14:12

and that everything elsedrugo was nonsensegluposti.

344

840913

2675

i da je sve drugo nonsens.

14:15

But then I discoveredotkriveni something.

345

843588

1832

Ali onda sam otkrio nešto.

14:17

If you have brainmozak cancerrak,

346

845420

1752

Ako imate rak na mozgu,

14:19

and you say that standingstojeći on your headglava

347

847172

1472

i stajanje na glavi 20 minuta

14:20

for 20 minutesminuta everysvaki morningjutro makespravi you feel better,

348

848644

2995

svako jutro vam pomaže da se osjećate bolje,

14:23

it maymože make you feel better,

349

851639

1514

možda se osjećate bolje,

14:25

but you still have brainmozak cancerrak,

350

853153

1588

ali i dalje imate rak na mozgu,

14:26

and you'llti ćeš still probablyvjerovatno dieumri from it.

351

854741

2289

i možda ćete i dalje umrijeti zbog toga.

14:29

But if you say that you have depressiondepresija,

352

857030

2512

Ali ako imate depresiju,

14:31

and standingstojeći on your headglava for 20 minutesminuta everysvaki day

353

859542

2105

i zbog stajanja na glavi 20 minuta svaki dan

14:33

makespravi you feel better, then it's workedradio je,

354

861647

2484

osjećate se bolje, onda to pali,

14:36

because depressiondepresija is an illnessbolest of how you feel,

355

864131

2360

jer depresija je bolest onoga kako se osjećate,

14:38

and if you feel better,

356

866491

1609

i ako se osjećate bolje

14:40

then you are effectivelyefikasno not depresseddepresivan anymoreviše.

357

868100

2830

onda više niste depresivni.

14:42

So I becamepostao much more toleranttolerantni

358

870930

2033

Stoga sam postao tolerantniji

14:44

of the vastogromno worldsvet of alternativealternativa treatmentstretmani.

359

872963

2925

na alternativna liječenja.

14:47

And I get lettersslova, I get hundredsstotine of lettersslova

360

875888

2384

Dobijam hiljade pisama

14:50

from people writingpisanje to tell me
about what's workedradio je for them.

361

878272

2516

ljudi koji mi kažu šta kod njih pali.

14:52

SomeoneNetko was askingpitajući me backstagepozadina todaydanas

362

880788

2201

Neko me je iza bine pitao danas

14:54

about meditationMeditacija.

363

882989

1463

o meditaciji.

14:56

My favoriteomiljeni of the lettersslova that I got

364

884452

2465

Moje omiljeno pismo

14:58

was the one that camedošao from a womanžena

365

886917

1474

je od žene

15:00

who wrotenapisao je and said that she had triedpokušao therapyterapija,

366

888391

2207

koja je napisala da je probala terapiju,

15:02

she had triedpokušao medicationlekovi,
she had triedpokušao prettylepo much everything,

367

890598

2387

lijekove, probala je skoro sve,

15:04

and she had foundpronađeno a solutionrješenje
and hopednadao se I would tell the worldsvet,

368

892985

2837

i našla je rješenje, i nada se da ću ga prenijeti svijetu,

15:07

and that was makingstvaranje little things from yarnpređa.

369

895822

3812

a to je pravljenje malenih stvari od pletiva.

15:11

(LaughterSmijeh)

370

899634

2999

(Smijeh)

15:14

She sentposlat me some of them. (LaughterSmijeh)

371

902633

3524

Poslala mi je nekoliko njih. (Smijeh)

15:18

And I'm not wearingnosi them right now.

372

906157

3688

Ne nosim ih trenutno.

15:21

I suggestedpredložio to her that she alsotakođe should look up

373

909845

2515

Predložio sam joj da potraži

15:24

obsessiveopsesivno compulsivekompulzivno disorderporemećaj in the DSMDSM.

374

912360

4048

opsesivno-kompulzivni poremećaj u priručniku.

15:28

And yetjoš uvek, when I wentotišao to look
at alternativealternativa treatmentstretmani,

375

916408

3128

Kada sam potražio alternativna liječenja,

15:31

I alsotakođe gainedstekao perspectiveperspektiva on other treatmentstretmani.

376

919536

2908

saznao sam o drugim liječenjima.

15:34

I wentotišao throughkroz a tribalplemenski exorcismegzorcizam in SenegalSenegal

377

922444

2903

Prošao sam kroz plemenski egorcizam u Senegalu

15:37

that involveduključeni a great dealdogovoriti of ram'sRam-ove bloodkrv

378

925347

2013

koji je uključivao mnogo ovnove krvi

15:39

and that I'm not going to detaildetalj right now,

379

927360

2062

a čije detalje neću iznositi sada.

15:41

but a fewnekoliko yearsgodine afterwardsnakon toga I was in RwandaRuanda

380

929422

2000

Nekoliko godina poslije, radio sam u Ruandi

15:43

workingraditi on a differentdrugačiji projectprojekat,

381

931422

1758

na jednom drugačijem projektu.

15:45

and I happeneddogodilo se to describeopišite
my experienceiskustvo to someoneneko,

382

933180

2796

Opisivao sam svoje iskustvo jednoj osobi,

15:47

and he said, "Well, you know,

383

935976

1760

a on je rekao, "Pa, znaš,

15:49

that's WestZapad AfricaAfrika, and we're in EastIstok AfricaAfrika,

384

937736

1820

to je zapadna Afrika, a mi smo u istočnoj Africi,

15:51

and our ritualsrituali are in some waysnačina very differentdrugačiji,

385

939556

1834

i naši rituali se na određeni način veoma razlikuju

15:53

but we do have some ritualsrituali that have something

386

941390

2013

ali imamo neke rituale koji imaju nešto

15:55

in commončesto with what you're describingopisivati."

387

943403

1987

zajedničko sa tim što opisuješ."

15:57

And I said, "Oh." And he said, "Yes," he said,

388

945390

1663

Rekao sam, "Je li", a on je rekao "Da, ali

15:59

"but we'vemi smo had a lot of troublenevolja with
WesternZapadni mentalmentalno healthzdravlje workersradnici,

389

947053

2642

imali smo mnogo problema sa radnicima u mentalnog zdravlja na zapadu,

16:01

especiallyposebno the onesone who camedošao
right after the genocidegenocid."

390

949695

2757

posebno s onima koji su došli odmah poslije genocida."

16:04

And I said, "What kindkind of troublenevolja did you have?"

391

952452

2327

Rekao sam, "Kakve ste probleme imali?"

16:06

And he said, "Well,

392

954779

1546

Rekao je, "Pa,

16:08

they would do this bizarrebizarno thing.

393

956325

2664

radii bi bizarne stvari.

16:10

They didn't take people out in the sunshinesunce

394

958989

1885

Nisu izvodili ljude na sunce

16:12

where you beginzapočeti to feel better.

395

960874

1700

gdje bi se počeli osjećati bolje.

16:14

They didn't includeuključi drummingbubanj or musicmuzika
to get people'sljudi bloodkrv going.

396

962574

3094

Nisu uključivali bubnjanje ili muziku da pokrenu ljude.

16:17

They didn't involveuključiti the wholecjelina communityzajednica.

397

965668

1842

Nisu uključili cijelu zajednicu.

16:19

They didn't externalizeobjelodani the depressiondepresija

398

967510

1775

Nisu prikazali depresiju u vanjskom obliku

16:21

as an invasiveinvazivne spiritduh.

399

969285

1433

kao napadački duh.

16:22

InsteadUmjesto toga what they did was they tookuzela people

400

970718

2631

Umjesto toga, oni su odveli jednu po jednu osobu

16:25

one at a time into dingysumorna little roomssobe

401

973349

2628

u prljave male sobe i

16:27

and had them talk for an hoursat

402

975977

1343

tražili da pričaju sat vremena

16:29

about badloše things that had happeneddogodilo se to them."

403

977320

2230

o lošim stvarim koje su im se događale."

16:31

(LaughterSmijeh) (ApplausePljesak)

404

979550

5460

(Smijeh) (Aplauz)

16:37

He said, "We had to askpitajte them to leaveodlazi the countryzemlju."

405

985010

2362

Rekao je, "Morali smo ih zamoliti da napuste zemlju."

16:39

(LaughterSmijeh)

406

987372

3057

(Smijeh)

16:42

Now at the other endkraj of alternativealternativa treatmentstretmani,

407

990429

2444

Na drugom kraju alternativnih liječenja,

16:44

let me tell you about FrankFrank RussakoffRussakoff.

408

992873

2035

dopustite mi da vam ispričam o Franku Russakoffu.

16:46

FrankFrank RussakoffRussakoff had the worstnajgore depressiondepresija

409

994908

3053

On je imao najgoru depresiju

16:49

perhapsmožda that I've ever seenviđeni in a man.

410

997961

2915

koju sam vidio kod čovjeka.

16:52

He was constantlystalno depresseddepresivan.

411

1000876

1993

Bio je konstantno depresivan.

16:54

He was, when I metispunjen him, at a pointtačka at whichšto

412

1002869

2141

Kada sam ga upoznao svaki mjesec

16:57

everysvaki monthmesec he would have electroshockElektrošok treatmentliječenje.

413

1005010

3158

je imao tretman elektrošokom.

17:00

Then he would feel sortsortiraj of disorienteddezorientiran for a weeksedmicu.

414

1008168

2575

Osjećao bi se dezorijentisan čitavu sedmicu.

17:02

Then he would feel okay for a weeksedmicu.

415

1010743

1803

Onda bi bio dobro čitavu sedmicu.

17:04

Then he would have a weeksedmicu of going downhillnizbrdo.

416

1012546

1700

A onda bi išao nizbrdo cijelu sedmicu.

17:06

And then he would have anotherdrugi
electroshockElektrošok treatmentliječenje.

417

1014246

2685

Onda bi opet imao tretman elektrošokom.

17:08

And he said to me when I metispunjen him,

418

1016931

1415

Kada sam ga upoznao, rekao mi je,

17:10

"It's unbearablenepodnošljiva to go throughkroz my weeksnedelje this way.

419

1018346

2552

"Nepodnošljivo je prolaziti ovako.

17:12

I can't go on this way,

420

1020898

1507

Ne mogu više ovako,

17:14

and I've figuredfigured out how I'm going to endkraj it

421

1022405

2264

skontao sam kako ću ovo okončati

17:16

if I don't get better.

422

1024669

1557

ako mi ne bude bolje.

17:18

But," he said to me, "I heardčuo about a protocolprotokol

423

1026226

2708

Ali", rekao mi je, "čuo sam o protokolu

17:20

at MassMasa GeneralOpće for a procedureprocedure calledpozvana

424

1028934

2223

na Mass General bolnici za proceduru koja se zove

17:23

a cingulotomycingulotomija, whichšto is a brainmozak surgeryoperacija,

425

1031157

2026

cingulotomija, operacija na mozgu,

17:25

and I think I'm going to give that a try."

426

1033183

2571

mislim da ću probati to."

17:27

And I rememberzapamtite beingbiće amazedzapanjen at that pointtačka

427

1035754

1954

Sjećam se da sam bio zadivljen u tom trenutku

17:29

to think that someoneneko

428

1037708

1300

da neko ko je očito

17:31

who clearlyjasno had so manymnogi badloše experiencesiskustva

429

1039008

3221

imao toliko loše iskustva

17:34

with so manymnogi differentdrugačiji treatmentstretmani

430

1042229

1859

sa toliko raznih tretmana

17:36

still had buriedpokopan in him somewherenegde enoughdosta optimismoptimizam

431

1044088

3122

i dalje ima negdje duboko u sebi optimizma

17:39

to reachdostignuti out for one more.

432

1047210

2550

da pokuša sa još jednim tretmanom.

17:41

And he had the cingulotomycingulotomija,

433

1049760

2180

Podvrgnuo se cingulatomiji,

17:43

and it was incrediblyNeverovatno successfuluspješno.

434

1051940

2041

i bila je nevjerovatno uspješna.

17:45

He's now a friendprijatelju of minemoj.

435

1053981

1493

Danas smo prijatelji.

17:47

He has a lovelydivno wifesupruga and two beautifulprelepo childrendjeca.

436

1055474

3492

Ima divnu ženu i dvoje prelijepe djece.

17:50

He wrotenapisao je me a letterpismo the ChristmasBožić after the surgeryoperacija,

437

1058966

2949

Pisao mi je za Božić poslije operacije,

17:53

and he said,

438

1061915

1189

i napisao,

17:55

"My fatherotac sentposlat me two presentspredstavlja this yeargodina,

439

1063104

2407

"Otac mi je poslao dva poklona ove godine,

17:57

First, a motorizedmotornih vozila C.D. rackstalak from The SharperOštrije ImageSlika

440

1065511

2602

Prvo, stalak za CD-ove iz The Sharper Image

18:00

that I didn't really need,

441

1068113

1421

koji mi zapravo ne treba,

18:01

but I knewznao je he was givingdavanje it to me to celebrateslaviti

442

1069534

2097

ali znam da mi je to poklonio da proslavim

18:03

the factčinjenica that I'm livingživi on my ownvlastiti

443

1071631

1728

činjenicu da mogu da živim samostalno

18:05

and have a jobposao I seemizgleda to love.

444

1073359

2047

i da imam posao koji izgleda da volim.

18:07

And the other presentprisutan

445

1075406

1561

A drugi poklon

18:08

was a photofotografija of my grandmotherbaka,

446

1076967

1576

je bio slika moje bake,

18:10

who committedposvećeno suicidesamoubistvo.

447

1078543

2252

koja se ubila.

18:12

As I unwrappedunwrapped it, I beganpočeo to cryplač,

448

1080795

2935

Kada sam je otpakovao počeo sam plakati,

18:15

and my mothermajka camedošao over and said,

449

1083730

1880

moja majka je prišla i rekla,

18:17

'Are you cryingplakati because of the
relativesrođaci you never knewznao je?'

450

1085610

3315

'Da li plačeš zbog rodbine koju nikada nisu poznavao?'

18:20

And I said, 'She' Ona had the sameisto diseasebolesti I have.'

451

1088925

4088

Rekao sam, 'Ona je imala istu bolest kao i ja.'

18:25

I'm cryingplakati now as I writepisati to you.

452

1093013

2581

Plačem dok ti pišem ovo.

18:27

It's not that I'm so sadtužan, but I get overwhelmedpreplavljen,

453

1095594

3595

Nije da sam tužan, ali savladaju me emocije

18:31

I think, because I could have killedubijen myselfja,

454

1099189

2221

jer sam se mogao ubiti,

18:33

but my parentsroditelji keptčuva me going,

455

1101410

1703

ali roditelji su me održavali u životu,

18:35

and so did the doctorsdoktori,

456

1103113

1749

kao i doktori,

18:36

and I had the surgeryoperacija.

457

1104862

1854

a onda sam imao operaciju.

18:38

I'm aliveživ and gratefulzahvalni.

458

1106716

2815

Živ sam i zahvalan.

18:41

We liveuživo in the right time,

459

1109531

2260

Živimo u pravom vremenu,

18:43

even if it doesn't always feel like it."

460

1111791

3879

iako se uvijek ne čini tako."

18:47

I was struckudario by the factčinjenica that depressiondepresija

461

1115670

1897

Bio sam iznenađen činjenicom da depresija

18:49

is broadlyširoko perceivedpercipiraju to be

462

1117567

1725

je općenito shvaćena kao

18:51

a modernmoderno, WesternZapadni, middle-classsrednje klase thing,

463

1119292

3537

moderna, zapadnjačka, buržujska stvar,

18:54

and I wentotišao to look at how it operatedupravlja

464

1122829

2152

krenuo sam da vidim kako funkcioniše

18:56

in a varietyraznovrsnost of other contextskontekstima,

465

1124981

2003

u raznim drugim kontekstima.

18:58

and one of the things I was mostnajviše interestedzainteresovan in

466

1126984

2119

Jedna od stvari za koju sam najviše bio zainteresiran

19:01

was depressiondepresija amongmeđu the indigentsiromaha.

467

1129103

1790

je depresija kod siromašnih ljudi.

19:02

And so I wentotišao out to try to look at

468

1130893

1781

Krenuo sam da vidim

19:04

what was beingbiće donezavršeno for
poorsiromašno people with depressiondepresija.

469

1132674

2580

kako se pomaže siromašnim ljudima s depresijom.

19:07

And what I discoveredotkriveni is that poorsiromašno people

470

1135254

2158

Otkrio sam da siromašni ljudi

19:09

are mostlyuglavnom not beingbiće treatedtretirani for depressiondepresija.

471

1137412

2557

uglavnom nisu lječeni za depresiju.

19:11

DepressionDepresija is the resultrezultat of a geneticgenetski vulnerabilityranjivost,

472

1139969

2919

Depresija je rezultat genetičke ranjivosti,

19:14

whichšto is presumablyverovatno evenlyravnomjerno
distributeddistribuirani in the populationstanovništvo,

473

1142888

3158

koja je vjerovatno jednako rasprostranjena u populaciji,

19:18

and triggeringpokreće circumstancesokolnosti,

474

1146046

1953

i okolonosti koji je izazivaju,

19:19

whichšto are likelyvjerovatno to be more severeozbiljna

475

1147999

1903

koji su vjerovatno ozbiljniji

19:21

for people who are impoverishedosiromašen.

476

1149902

1875

za siromašne ljude.

19:23

And yetjoš uvek it turnsokreće se out that if you have

477

1151777

2427

Ipak ispada da ako imaš

19:26

a really lovelydivno life but feel miserablemizeran all the time,

478

1154204

2140

divnu ženu ali stalno se osjećaš jadno,

19:28

you think, "Why do I feel like this?

479

1156344

2000

pomisliš, "Zašto se osjećam ovako?

19:30

I mustmora have depressiondepresija."

480

1158344

1669

Mora da imam depresiju."

19:32

And you setset out to find treatmentliječenje for it.

481

1160013

1923

I kreneš tražiti lijek za to.

19:33

But if you have a perfectlysavršeno awfulstrašno life,

482

1161936

2093

Ali ako imaš užasan život,

19:36

and you feel miserablemizeran all the time,

483

1164029

1867

i stalno se osječaš jadno,

19:37

the way you feel is commensurateproporcionalan with your life,

484

1165896

2826

način kako se osjećaš je proporcionalan tvom životu,

19:40

and it doesn't occurpojaviti to you to think,

485

1168722

1724

i ne pada ti na pamet da pomisliš,

19:42

"Maybe this is treatabletretirati."

486

1170446

1783

"Možda se ovo može liječiti."

19:44

And so we have an epidemicepidemija in this countryzemlju

487

1172229

3136

Tako imamo epidemiju depresije

19:47

of depressiondepresija amongmeđu impoverishedosiromašen people

488

1175365

2913

među siromašnim ljudima u ovoj državi

19:50

that's not beingbiće pickedizabrali up
and that's not beingbiće treatedtretirani

489

1178278

2512

koja nije otkrivena i koja se ne liječi

19:52

and that's not beingbiće addressedadresirano,

490

1180790

2056

i koja se ne rješava,

19:54

and it's a tragedytragedija of a grandgrand ordernaruči.

491

1182846

2200

to je velika tragedija.

19:57

And so I foundpronađeno an academicakademski

492

1185046

1488

Našao sam profesoricu

19:58

who was doing a researchistraživanje projectprojekat

493

1186534

1817

koja je radila istraživački projekat

20:00

in slumspredgrađe outsidespolja of D.C.,

494

1188351

1741

u sirotinjskim četvrtima izvan Washingtona,

20:02

where she pickedizabrali up womenžene who had
come in for other healthzdravlje problemsproblemi

495

1190092

2997

gdje je upoznala žene koje su došle zbog drugih zdravstvenih problema

20:05

and diagnoseddijagnosticira them with depressiondepresija,

496

1193089

1779

i dijagonisticirala im je depresiju,

20:06

and then providedobezbeđeni sixšest monthsmjeseci
of the experimentaleksperimentalno protocolprotokol.

497

1194868

3266

i onda omogućila 6 mjeseci eksperimentalnog protokola.

20:10

One of them, LollyŠtapiću, camedošao in,

498

1198134

2329

Jedna od njih, Lolly, je došla,

20:12

and this is what she said the day she camedošao in.

499

1200463

2297

i evo šta je rekla taj dan.

20:14

She said, and she was a womanžena, by the way,

500

1202760

3395

Usput, ona je žena

20:18

who had sevensedam childrendjeca. She said,

501

1206155

2092

koja ima sedmero djece. Rekla je,

20:20

"I used to have a jobposao but I had to give it up because

502

1208247

2651

"Imala sam posao, ali morala sam ga se odreći, jer

20:22

I couldn'tnije mogao go out of the housekuća.

503

1210898

2060

nisam mogla izaći iz kuće.

20:24

I have nothing to say to my childrendjeca.

504

1212958

2228

Nemam šta reći svojoj djeci.

20:27

In the morningjutro, I can't wait for them to leaveodlazi,

505

1215186

2767

Ujutro, jedva čekam da odu,

20:29

and then I climbpenjati se in bedkrevet and
pullpovući the coverspokriva over my headglava,

506

1217953

2990

i onda legnem u krevet i prekrijem glavu pokrivačem,

20:32

and threetri o'clockO'clock when they come home,

507

1220943

1646

a 3 sata kada se vraćaju

20:34

it just comesdolazi so fastbrzo."

508

1222589

1801

dolete tako brzo."

20:36

She said, "I've been takinguzimajući a lot of TylenolTylenol,

509

1224390

2240

Rekla je, "Uzimala sam dosta Tylenola,

20:38

anything I can take so that I can sleepspavaj more.

510

1226630

2759

bilo šta da spavam više.

20:41

My husbandmuž has been tellinggovoreći me I'm stupidglupo, I'm uglyružno.

511

1229389

3770

Moj muž mi je govorio da sam glupa, ružna.

20:45

I wishželim I could stop the painbol."

512

1233159

3505

Željela bih da zaustavim bol."

20:48

Well, she was broughtdoveden into
this experimentaleksperimentalno protocolprotokol,

513

1236664

2640

Ona je uključena u ovaj eksperimentalni program,

20:51

and when I interviewedintervjuisano her sixšest monthsmjeseci laterkasnije,

514

1239304

2308

i kada sam je intervjuisao 6 mjeseci poslije,

20:53

she had takenuzeti a jobposao workingraditi in childcarebriga o djeci

515

1241612

4407

počela je raditi u vrtiću

20:58

for the U.S. NavyMornarica, she had left the abusiveuvredljiv husbandmuž,

516

1246019

3805

za Ratnu mornaricu SAD-a, napustila je nasilnog muža,

21:01

and she said to me,

517

1249824

2082

i rekla mi je,

21:03

"My kidsdeca are so much happiersretniji now."

518

1251906

2369

"Moja djeca su mnogo sretnija sada."

21:06

She said, "There's one roomsoba in my newnovo placemesto

519

1254275

1977

Rekla je, "U mom novom domu postoji jedna soba

21:08

for the boysmomci and one roomsoba for the girlsdevojke,

520

1256252

2608

za dječake i jedna za djevojčice,

21:10

but at night, they're just all up on my bedkrevet,

521

1258860

2539

ali navečer, svi su u mom krevetu,

21:13

and we're doing homeworkzadaća
all togetherzajedno and everything.

522

1261399

2612

radimo zadaću, svi zajedno.

21:16

One of them wants to be a preacherpropovjednik,

523

1264011

1673

Jedan od njih želi biti svećenik,

21:17

one of them wants to be a firefightervatrogasac,

524

1265684

1700

jedan želi biti vatrogasac,

21:19

and one of the girlsdevojke sayskaže she's going to be a lawyeradvokat.

525

1267384

2966

a jedna od djevojčica kaže da želi biti advokat.

21:22

They don't cryplač like they used to,

526

1270350

2005

Ne plaču kao prije,

21:24

and they don't fightborba like they did.

527

1272355

2558

i ne svađaju se.

21:26

That's all I need now is my kidsdeca.

528

1274913

3780

Sve što sada trebam su moja djeca.

21:30

Things keep on changingmenja se,

529

1278693

1912

Stvari se mijenjaju,

21:32

the way I dresshaljina, the way I feel, the way I actčiniti.

530

1280605

5193

način na koji se oblačim, osjećam, ponašam.

21:37

I can go outsidespolja not beingbiće afraiduplašen anymoreviše,

531

1285798

3687

Mogu izaći vani bez straha,

21:41

and I don't think those badloše feelingsosjecanja are comingdolaze back,

532

1289485

3409

i ne mislim da će se ti loši osjećaji vratiti,

21:44

and if it weren'tnisu for DrDr. MirandaMiranda and that,

533

1292894

3035

i da nije bilo doktorice Mirande

21:47

I would still be at home with
the coverspokriva pulledvuče over my headglava,

534

1295929

3617

ja bih i dalje bila kući sa prekrivačem preko glave,

21:51

if I were still aliveživ at all.

535

1299546

2349

ako bi uopšte bila živa.

21:53

I askedpitan the LordGospodin to sendpošalji me an angelanđeo,

536

1301895

3732

Molila sam Boga da mi pošalje anđela,

21:57

and he heardčuo my prayersmolitve."

537

1305627

4330

i on uslišio je moje molitve."

22:01

I was really movedpreselio se by these experiencesiskustva,

538

1309959

3353

Ova iskustva su me zaista dirnula,

22:05

and I decidedodlučio that I wanted to writepisati about them

539

1313312

2539

i odlučio sam da želim da pišem o njima

22:07

not only in a bookknjiga I was workingraditi on,

540

1315851

1379

ne samo za knjigu na kojoj sam radio,

22:09

but alsotakođe in an articlečlanak,

541

1317230

1311

već i u članku.

22:10

and so I got a commissionprovizija from
The NewNovi YorkYork TimesPuta MagazineMagazin

542

1318541

2321

Dobio sam narudžbu od The New York Times Magazina

22:12

to writepisati about depressiondepresija amongmeđu the indigentsiromaha.

543

1320862

2016

da pišem o depresiji među siromašnima.

22:14

And I turnedokrenuo se in my storypriča,

544

1322878

1616

Predao sam svoju priču.

22:16

and my editorurednik calledpozvana me and said,

545

1324494

1596

Moj urednik me je nazvao i rekao

22:18

"We really can't publishobjaviti this."

546

1326090

1710

"Ovo zaista ne možemo objaviti."

22:19

And I said, "Why not?"

547

1327800

1750

Rekao sam, "Zašto ne?"

22:21

And she said, "It just is too far-fetcheddalekovano.

548

1329550

2305

Ona je rekla, "Ovo je neuvjerljivo.

22:23

These people who are sortsortiraj of at
the very bottomdno rungžbica of societydruštvo

549

1331855

3778

Ove osobe na samom dnu društvene ljestice

22:27

and then they get a fewnekoliko monthsmjeseci of treatmentliječenje

550

1335633

1704

prime nekoliko mjeseci lječenja

22:29

and they're virtuallypraktično readyspreman to runtrči MorganMorgan StanleyStanley?

551

1337337

2632

i onda su doslovno spremni da upravljaju Morganom Stanleyjem?

22:31

It's just too implausibleneverovatno."

552

1339969

1854

To je nevjerovatno."

22:33

She said, I've never even heardčuo of anything like it."

553

1341823

2205

Rekla je, "Nikad nisam čula za takvo nešto."

22:36

And I said, "The factčinjenica that you've never heardčuo of it

554

1344028

2534

Ja sam rekao, "To što vi niste čuli za to

22:38

is an indicationindikacija that it is newsvijesti."

555

1346562

3000

pokazuje da je to novost."

22:41

(LaughterSmijeh) (ApplausePljesak)

556

1349562

6134

(Smijeh) (Aplauz)

22:49

"And you are a newsvijesti magazinečasopis."

557

1357317

2494

"A vi ste novina."

22:51

So after a certainsigurno amountiznos of negotiationpregovaranje,

558

1359811

1982

Nakon određenog pregovaranja,

22:53

they agreedsložio se to it.

559

1361793

1241

pristali su.

22:55

But I think a lot of what they said

560

1363034

1615

Ali mnogo sam razmišljao da ono što su reklli

22:56

was connectedpovezan in some strangečudno way

561

1364649

2295

je na neki čudan načim povezao

22:58

to this distasteodvratnost that people still have

562

1366944

2142

sa gnušanjem ljudi prema

23:01

for the ideaideja of treatmentliječenje,

563

1369086

1463

ideji liječenja,

23:02

the notionpojam that somehownekako if we wentotišao out

564

1370549

1882

da ako odemo

23:04

and treatedtretirani a lot of people in indigentsiromaha communitieszajednice,

565

1372431

2696

da liječimo ljude u siromašnim zajednicama,

23:07

that would be an exploitativeeksploatacijske thing to do,

566

1375127

1898

to bi bilo izrabljivački

23:09

because we would be changingmenja se them.

567

1377025

1642

jer bismo ih mijenjali.

23:10

There is this falselažno moralmoralno imperativeimperativ

568

1378667

2033

Postoji lažni moralni imperativ

23:12

that seemsizgleda to be all around us

569

1380700

1789

oko nas

23:14

that treatmentliječenje of depressiondepresija,

570

1382489

2354

da je liječenje depresije,

23:16

the medicationslijekovi and so on, are an artificevještak,

571

1384843

2299

lijekovi i tako dalje, izmišljotina,

23:19

and that it's not naturalprirodno.

572

1387142

2172

i da nije prirodno.

23:21

And I think that's very misguidedu zabludi.

573

1389314

2849

Mislim da je to veoma pogrešno.

23:24

It would be naturalprirodno for people'sljudi teethzubi to fallpada out,

574

1392163

3532

Normalno je da zubi ispadaju,

23:27

but there is nobodyniko militatingmilitating againstprotiv toothpastepasta za zube,

575

1395695

3330

ali niko ne sprečava korištenje kaladonta,

23:31

at leastnajmanje not in my circleskrugovi.

576

1399025

2128

barem ne u mojoj okolini.

23:33

And people then say, "Well, but isn't depressiondepresija

577

1401153

2502

Ljudi onda kažu, "Pa, zar nije depresija ono

23:35

partdeo of what people are supposednavodno to experienceiskustvo?

578

1403655

2185

što ljudi trebaju iskusiti?

23:37

Didn't we evolveevoluirati to have depressiondepresija?

579

1405840

1741

Zar se nismo razvili da imamo depresiju?

23:39

Isn't it partdeo of your personalityličnost?"

580

1407581

1907

Zar to nije dio ličnosti?"

23:41

To whichšto I would say, moodraspoloženje is adaptiveadaptivno.

581

1409488

2746

Na to ja odgovaram, raspoloženje je prilagodljivo.

23:44

BeingBiće ablesposoban to have sadnesstuga and fearstrah

582

1412234

3329

Iskustvo tuge i straha,

23:47

and joyradost and pleasurezadovoljstvo

583

1415563

1842

radosti i zadovoljstva

23:49

and all of the other moodsraspoloženja that we have,

584

1417405

1803

i sva druga raspoloženje,

23:51

that's incrediblyNeverovatno valuablevredno.

585

1419208

2064

su nevjerovatno vrijedna.

23:53

And majormajor depressiondepresija is something that happensse dešava

586

1421272

3047

Velika depresija je nešto što se dogodi

23:56

when that systemsistem getsdobiva brokenslomljen.

587

1424319

2012

kada se taj sistem pokvari.

23:58

It's maladaptivemaladaptivnom.

588

1426331

1717

To je loša prilagodba.

24:00

People will come to me and say,

589

1428048

1572

Ljudi mi prilaze i kažu,

24:01

"I think, thoughipak, if I just stickštap it out for anotherdrugi yeargodina,

590

1429620

2768

"Ako izdržim još jednu godinu,

24:04

I think I can just get throughkroz this."

591

1432388

2076

mislim da mogu uspjeti."

24:06

And I always say to them, "You maymože get throughkroz it,

592

1434464

2303

Uvijek m kažem, "Možeš uspjeti,

24:08

but you'llti ćeš never be 37 again.

593

1436767

2709

ali nikad više nećeš imati 37 godin.

24:11

Life is shortkratko, and that's a wholecjelina yeargodina

594

1439476

2550

Život je prekratak, i to je čitava godina dana

24:14

you're talkingpričaju about givingdavanje up.

595

1442026

1956

koje bi se odrekao.

24:15

Think it throughkroz."

596

1443982

1538

Dobro promisli."

24:17

It's a strangečudno povertysiromaštvo of the Englishengleski languagejezik,

597

1445520

2846

Zbog siromašnosti engleskog jezika,

24:20

and indeedzaista of manymnogi other languagesjezici,

598

1448366

2108

kao i drugih jezika,

24:22

that we use this sameisto wordriječ, depressiondepresija,

599

1450474

2218

mi koristimo istu riječ, depresija,

24:24

to describeopišite how a kidklinac feelsoseća se

600

1452692

1805

da opišemo kako se djete osjeća

24:26

when it rainskiša on his birthdayrođendan,

601

1454497

1712

kada pada kiša na njegov rođendan,

24:28

and to describeopišite how somebodyneko feelsoseća se

602

1456209

2528

i da opišemo kako se neko osjeća

24:30

the minuteminut before they commitpočiniti suicidesamoubistvo.

603

1458737

2454

minutu prije nego počine samoubistvo.

24:33

People say to me, "Well, is it
continuouskontinuirano with normalnormalno sadnesstuga?"

604

1461191

3105

Ljudi mi govore, "Pa, da li traje duže nego normalna tuga?"

24:36

And I say, in a way it's continuouskontinuirano
with normalnormalno sadnesstuga.

605

1464296

3144

A ja odgovorim da traje na neki način.

24:39

There is a certainsigurno amountiznos of continuitykontinuitet,

606

1467440

2200

Postoji određena količina neprekidnosti,

24:41

but it's the sameisto way there's continuitykontinuitet

607

1469640

1957

isto kao što

24:43

betweenizmeđu havingimati an irongvožđe fenceOgrada outsidespolja your housekuća

608

1471597

1987

kada željezna ograda ispred kuće

24:45

that getsdobiva a little rusthrđa spottacka

609

1473584

1677

ima malo hrđe

24:47

that you have to sandpijesak off and do a little repaintingrepainting,

610

1475261

2746

koja se mora ošmirglati i prefarbati,

24:50

and what happensse dešava if you leaveodlazi
the housekuća for 100 yearsgodine

611

1478007

2647

a šta se dogodi ako ostavimo kuću na 100 godins+a,

24:52

and it rustsneće zahrđati throughkroz untildo it's only a pilegomila

612

1480654

2898

ona će hrđati sve dok se ne pretvori u hrpu

24:55

of orangenarandžasto dustprašinu.

613

1483552

1234

narandžaste prašine.

24:56

And it's that orangenarandžasto dustprašinu spottacka,

614

1484786

2173

Ta narandžasta prašnjava mrlja

24:58

that orangenarandžasto dustprašinu problemproblem,

615

1486959

1789

je problem

25:00

that's the one we're settingpodešavanje out to addressadresa.

616

1488748

2989

koji želimo da riješimo.

25:03

So now people say,

617

1491737

2240

Ljudi kažu,

25:05

"You take these happysrećan pillspilule, and do you feel happysrećan?"

618

1493977

2731

"Ako uzmemo ove sretne lijekove, da li se osjećamo sretno?"

25:08

And I don't.

619

1496708

1886

Ja se ne osjećam.

25:10

But I don't feel sadtužan about havingimati to eatjesti lunchručak,

620

1498594

2822

Ali nisam tužan što moram ručati,

25:13

and I don't feel sadtužan about my answeringodgovarajući machinemašina,

621

1501416

2836

nisam tužan zbog telefonske sekretrice,

25:16

and I don't feel sadtužan about takinguzimajući a showertuš.

622

1504252

2845

nisam tužan zbog tuširanja.

25:19

I feel more, in factčinjenica, I think,

623

1507097

2854

Osjećam se, zapravo, mislim,

25:21

because I can feel sadnesstuga withoutbez nullityništavilo.

624

1509951

2430

jer mogu osjećati tugu bez ništavnosti.

25:24

I feel sadtužan about professionalprofesionalno disappointmentsrazočaranja,

625

1512381

4347

Tužan sam zbog profesionalnih razočarenja,

25:28

about damagedoštećeno relationshipsveze,

626

1516728

2347

zbog narušenih veza,

25:31

about globalglobalno warmingzagrevanje.

627

1519075

2039

zbog globalnog zagrijavanja.

25:33

Those are the things that I feel sadtužan about now.

628

1521114

2725

Zbog toga sam tužan sada.

25:35

And I said to myselfja, well, what is the conclusionzaključak?

629

1523839

2734

Rekao sam sebi, pa šta je zaključak?

25:38

How did those people who have better livesživi

630

1526573

2561

Kako su ljudi sa boljim životima

25:41

even with biggerveće depressiondepresija manageupravljati to get throughkroz?

631

1529134

2554

i većom depresijom uspjeli?

25:43

What is the mechanismmehanizam of resilienceotpornost?

632

1531688

2797

Koji je mehanizam otpornosti?

25:46

And what I camedošao up with over time

633

1534485

2084

S vremenom sam zaključio

25:48

was that the people who denyporiči theirnjihova experienceiskustvo,

634

1536569

2916

da ljudi koji osporavaju svoje iskustvo,

25:51

the onesone who say, "I was depresseddepresivan a long time agopre

635

1539485

2032

oni koji ironično kažu, "Bio sam depresivan jako dugo

25:53

and I never want to think about it again

636

1541517

1737

i ne želim o tome razmišljati više

25:55

and I'm not going to look at it

637

1543254

1242

ne želim gledati na to

25:56

and I'm just going to get on with my life,"

638

1544496

1890

želim samo nastaviti sa svojim životom,"

25:58

ironicallyironično, those are the people

639

1546386

1959

to su ljudi

26:00

who are mostnajviše enslavedporobili by what they have.

640

1548345

2698

koji su najviše zarobljeni sa onim što imaju.

26:03

ShuttingZaklopac out the depressiondepresija strengthensjača it.

641

1551043

2564

Potiskivanje depresije samo je čini snažnijom.

26:05

While you hidesakriti from it, it growsraste.

642

1553607

3280

Ona raste, dok se vi krijete od nje.

26:08

And the people who do better

643

1556887

2860

Ljudi kojima je bolje

26:11

are the onesone who are ablesposoban to toleratetolerirati the factčinjenica

644

1559747

2599

su oni koji mogu tolerisati činjenicu

26:14

that they have this conditionstanje.

645

1562346

1622

da imaju ovu bolest.

26:15

Those who can toleratetolerirati theirnjihova depressiondepresija

646

1563968

2470

Oni koji mogu tolerisati svoju depresiju

26:18

are the onesone who achievepostići resilienceotpornost.

647

1566438

1782

su oni koji su otporni.

26:20

So FrankFrank RussakoffRussakoff said to me,

648

1568220

1783

Frank Russakof mi je rekao,

26:22

"If I had it again to do over,

649

1570003

1516

"Ako bih morao proći kroz ovo opet,

26:23

I supposePretpostavimo I wouldn'tne bi do it this way,

650

1571519

2137

pretpostavljam da ne bih uradio isto,

26:25

but in a strangečudno way, I'm gratefulzahvalni

651

1573656

1964

ali na čudan način, ja sam zahvalan

26:27

for what I've experiencediskusan.

652

1575620

1503

na svom iskustvu.

26:29

I'm gladdrago mi je to have been in the hospitalbolnica 40 timesputa.

653

1577123

3817

Drago mi je što sam bio 40 puta u bolnici.

26:32

It taughtpredavao me so much about love,

654

1580940

2603

Toliko me je naučila o ljubavi,

26:35

and my relationshipveza with my parentsroditelji and my doctorsdoktori

655

1583543

2840

moj odnos sa roditeljima i doktorima

26:38

has been so preciousdragocen to me, and will be always."

656

1586383

4389

je dragocijen."

26:42

And MaggieMaggie RobbinsRobbins said,

657

1590772

1926

Maggie Robbins je rekla,

26:44

"I used to volunteervolonter in an AIDSAIDS-A clinicklinika,

658

1592698

2989

"Volontirala sam u klinici za AIDS,

26:47

and I would just talk and talk and talk,

659

1595687

3014

pričala sam i pričala

26:50

and the people I was dealingbavljenje with

660

1598701

1813

sam ljudima

26:52

weren'tnisu very responsiveOdgovarajuće, and I thought,

661

1600514

2067

koji nisu baš uzvraćali, i mislila sam,

26:54

'That's not very friendlyprijateljski or helpfulkorisno of them.'

662

1602581

3961

'To nije prijateljski ili korisno sa njihove strane.'

26:58

And then I realizedrealizovan,

663

1606542

1642

Onda sam shvatila

27:00

I realizedrealizovan that they weren'tnisu going to do more

664

1608184

2127

da neće uraditi više

27:02

than make those first fewnekoliko minutesminuta of smallmali talk.

665

1610311

2387

od tih prvih nekoliko minuta čavrljanja.

27:04

It was simplyjednostavno going to be an occasionprigodom

666

1612698

2057

To će jednostavno biti situacija

27:06

where I didn't have AIDSAIDS-A and I wasn'tnije dyingumiranje,

667

1614755

2878

u kojoj ja nemam AIDS i ne umirem,

27:09

but could toleratetolerirati the factčinjenica that they did

668

1617633

2973

ali mogu tolerisati činjenicu da oni imaju

27:12

and they were.

669

1620606

1787

i da će umrijeti.

27:14

Our needspotrebe are our greatestnajveći assetsimovina.

670

1622393

3603

Naše potrebe su naša najveća imovina.

27:17

It turnsokreće se out I've learnednaučio to give

671

1625996

2139

Ispostavilo se da sam naučila dati

27:20

all the things I need."

672

1628135

4025

sve što mi treba."

27:24

ValuingVrednovanje one'sjedan je depressiondepresija

673

1632160

1691

Ako cijenimo tuđu depresiju,

27:25

does not preventsprečiti a relapserelapsa,

674

1633851

2194

to neće spriječiti da se ona ponovo javi,

27:28

but it maymože make the prospectprospekt of relapserelapsa

675

1636045

2661

ali može tolerisati izglede

27:30

and even relapserelapsa itselfsam easierlakše to toleratetolerirati.

676

1638706

4218

ponovne depresije.

27:34

The questionpitanje is not so much

677

1642924

2045

To nije pitanje

27:36

of findingpronalaženje great meaningznačenje and decidingodlučujući

678

1644969

2175

traženja značenja i odlučivanja da li je

27:39

your depressiondepresija has been very meaningfulsmisleno.

679

1647144

2027

depresija imala smisla.

27:41

It's of seekingtražeći that meaningznačenje

680

1649171

2171

To je pitanje traženja tog značenja

27:43

and thinkingrazmišljanje, when it comesdolazi again,

681

1651342

1804

i razmišljanja, kada se pojavi ponovo,

27:45

"This will be hellishpaklene,

682

1653146

1640

"Ovo će biti kao u paklu,

27:46

but I will learnuči something from it."

683

1654786

2701

ali naučit ću nešto iz toga."

27:49

I have learnednaučio in my ownvlastiti depressiondepresija

684

1657487

2264

Iz svoje depresije sam naučio

27:51

how bigveliki an emotionemocija can be,

685

1659751

2013

kako velika emocija može biti,

27:53

how it can be more realstvarno than factsčinjenice,

686

1661764

3097

kako može biti stvarnija od činjenica,

27:56

and I have foundpronađeno that that experienceiskustvo

687

1664861

2949

i otkrio sam da to iskustvo

27:59

has alloweddozvoljeno me to experienceiskustvo positivepozitivno emotionemocija

688

1667810

2892

mi je omogućilo da iskusim pozitivne emocije

28:02

in a more intenseintenzivno and more focusedfokusiran way.

689

1670702

3520

na intenzivniji i usmjereni način.

28:06

The oppositesuprotno of depressiondepresija is not happinesssreća,

690

1674222

3487

Suprotnost depresije nije sreća,

28:09

but vitalityvitalnost,

691

1677709

1454

nego životna snaga,

28:11

and these daysdana, my life is vitalvitalno,

692

1679163

2741

Ovih dana, pun sam životne snage,

28:13

even on the daysdana when I'm sadtužan.

693

1681904

2745

čak i kad sam tužan.

28:16

I feltosećao se that funeralpogreb in my brainmozak,

694

1684649

3313

Osjetih pogreb u svom mozgu,

28:19

and I satsat nextsledeći to the colossuskolos

695

1687962

2024

i sjedoh pokraj kolosa

28:21

at the edgeivica of the worldsvet,

696

1689986

2247

na kraju svijeta.

28:24

and I have discoveredotkriveni

697

1692233

2089

Otkrio sam

28:26

something insideunutra of myselfja

698

1694322

1851

nešto unutar sebe

28:28

that I would have to call a souldušu

699

1696173

2133

što moram nazvati dušom

28:30

that I had never formulatedformulirana
untildo that day 20 yearsgodine agopre

700

1698306

3756

što nikad nisam formulisao do tog dana 20 godina prije

28:34

when helldođavola camedošao to payplatiti me a surpriseiznenađenje visitposjetite.

701

1702062

4518

kada me je đavo iznenada posjetio.

28:38

I think that while I hatedmrzela beingbiće depresseddepresivan

702

1706580

4098

Iako mrzim biti u depresiji,

28:42

and would hatemrzite to be depresseddepresivan again,

703

1710678

2334

i mrzio bih da se ponovo pojavi,

28:45

I've foundpronađeno a way to love my depressiondepresija.

704

1713012

2744

Otkrio sam načim da zavolim svoju depresiju.

28:47

I love it because it has forcedprisiljen me

705

1715756

2025

Volim je jer me je natjerala

28:49

to find and clingdržati se to joyradost.

706

1717781

2769

da nađem radost i da je se držim.

28:52

I love it because eachsvaki day I decideodlučiti,

707

1720550

3488

Zbog toga što svaki dan odlučim,

28:56

sometimesponekad gamelyinvestitora u,

708

1724038

1540

ponekad odvažno,

28:57

and sometimesponekad againstprotiv the moment'strenutak reasonrazlog,

709

1725578

2698

a ponekad neopravdano,

29:00

to cleaveprilijepiti to the reasonsrazloge for livingživi.

710

1728276

2578

da se držim razloga zbog kojih vrijedi živjeti.

29:02

And that, I think, is a highlyvisoko privilegedprivilegovan raptureushićenja.

711

1730854

4123

Mislim da je to veoma privilegovano ushićenje.

29:06

Thank you.

712

1734977

3983

Hvala vam.

29:10

(ApplausePljesak)

713

1738960

3136

(Aplauz)

Translated by Samra Cebiric
Reviewed by Mirza Celikovic

ABOUT THE SPEAKER

Andrew Solomon - Writer
Andrew Solomon writes about politics, culture and psychology.

Why you should listen

Andrew Solomon is a writer, lecturer and Professor of Clinical Psychology at Columbia University. He is president of PEN American Center. He writes regularly for The New Yorker and the New York Times.

Solomon's newest book, Far and Away: Reporting from the Brink of Change, Seven Continents, Twenty-Five Years was published in April, 2016. His previous book, Far From the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity won the National Book Critics Circle award for nonfiction, the Wellcome Prize and 22 other national awards. It tells the stories of parents who not only learn to deal with their exceptional children but also find profound meaning in doing so. It was a New York Times bestseller in both hardcover and paperback editions. Solomon's previous book, The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression, won the 2001 National Book Award for Nonfiction, was a finalist for the 2002 Pulitzer Prize and was included in The Times of London's list of one hundred best books of the decade. It has been published in twenty-four languages. Solomon is also the author of the novel A Stone Boat and of The Irony Tower: Soviet Artists in a Time of Glasnost.

Solomon is an activist in LGBT rights, mental health, education and the arts. He is a member of the boards of directors of the National LGBTQ Force and Trans Youth Family Allies. He is a member of the Board of Visitors of Columbia University Medical Center, serves on the National Advisory Board of the Depression Center at the University of Michigan, is a director of Columbia Psychiatry and is a member of the Advisory Board of the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance. Solomon also serves on the boards of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, Yaddo and The Alex Fund, which supports the education of Romani children. He is also a fellow of Berkeley College at Yale University and a member of the New York Institute for the Humanities and the Council on Foreign Relations.

Solomon lives with his husband and son in New York and London and is a dual national. He also has a daughter with a college friend; mother and daughter live in Texas but visit often.

More profile about the speaker
Andrew Solomon | Speaker | TED.com

THE ORIGINAL VIDEO ON TED.COM

Andrew Solomon: Depresija, tajna koju dijelimo | TED Talk | TED.com