ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Vincent Cochetel - Humanitarian
Vincent Cochetel is the Director of the Bureau for Europe at the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR).

Why you should listen

Vincent Cochetel is the Director of the Bureau for Europe at the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR). There he focuses on the specific challenges of the region — maintaining quality in asylum-seeking procedures, ensuring access to protection for those fleeing the conflict in Syria, combatting a rise in xenophobia, and allocating resources for those affected by conflicts of the past.

In 1998, Cochetel was kidnapped near Chechnya. For 317 days, he was chained to a bed frame in a cellar and deprived of light. But far from withdrawing from humanitarian work, the experience made him more determined than ever to improve the rights of refugees worldwide. He has written articles on numerous refugee issues and contributed to the drafting of several UNHCR training manuals related to staff safety, emergency management, and protection. 

More profile about the speaker
Vincent Cochetel | Speaker | TED.com
TEDxPlaceDesNations

Vincent Cochetel: I was held hostage for 317 days. Here's what I thought about…

Filmed:
1,200,323 views

Vincent Cochetel was held hostage for 317 days in 1998, while working for the UN High Commissioner on Refugees in Chechnya. For the first time, he recounts the experience — from what it was like to live in a dark, underground chamber, chained to his bed, to the unexpected conversations he had with his captors. With lyricism and power, he explains why he continues his work today. Since 2000, attacks on humanitarian aid workers have tripled — and he wonders what that rise may signal to the world.
- Humanitarian
Vincent Cochetel is the Director of the Bureau for Europe at the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR). Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:13
I cannot forget them.
0
1039
2653
00:15
Their names were Aslan, Alik, Andrei,
1
3692
4777
00:20
Fernanda, Fred, Galina, Gunnhild,
2
8469
4644
00:25
Hans, Ingeborg, Matti, Natalya,
3
13113
5294
00:30
Nancy, Sheryl, Usman, Zarema,
4
18407
4760
00:35
and the list is longer.
5
23167
1958
00:38
For many, their existence,
their humanity,
6
26255
3344
00:41
has been reduced to statistics,
7
29599
3645
00:45
coldly recorded as "security incidents."
8
33244
4296
00:49
For me, they were colleagues
9
37540
1555
00:51
belonging to that community
of humanitarian aid workers
10
39095
3530
00:54
that tried to bring a bit of comfort
11
42625
2809
00:57
to the victims of the wars
in Chechnya in the '90s.
12
45434
4087
01:01
They were nurses, logisticians,
shelter experts,
13
49521
4643
01:06
paralegals, interpreters.
14
54164
2833
01:08
And for this service, they were murdered,
15
56997
4156
01:13
their families torn apart,
16
61153
2462
01:15
and their story largely forgotten.
17
63615
2202
01:18
No one was ever sentenced
for these crimes.
18
66827
3147
01:22
I cannot forget them.
19
70884
2157
01:25
They live in me somehow,
20
73041
2049
01:27
their memories giving me
meaning every day.
21
75090
3230
01:30
But they are also haunting
the dark street of my mind.
22
78320
4431
01:34
As humanitarian aid workers,
23
82751
1961
01:36
they made the choice
to be at the side of the victim,
24
84712
3352
01:40
to provide some assistance,
some comfort, some protection,
25
88064
4597
01:44
but when they needed
protection themselves,
26
92661
2926
01:47
it wasn't there.
27
95587
1708
01:49
When you see the headlines
of your newspaper these days
28
97685
3173
01:52
with the war in Iraq or in Syria --
29
100858
3065
01:55
aid worker abducted, hostage executed --
30
103923
4164
02:00
but who were they?
31
108087
2013
02:02
Why were they there?
32
110100
1925
02:04
What motivated them?
33
112025
2008
02:06
How did we become
so indifferent to these crimes?
34
114033
3876
02:09
This is why I am here today with you.
35
117909
3129
02:13
We need to find better ways
to remember them.
36
121038
2397
02:16
We also need to explain the key values
to which they dedicated their lives.
37
124575
5991
02:22
We also need to demand justice.
38
130566
4212
02:28
When in '96 I was sent
39
136058
1881
02:29
by the United Nations High Commissioner
for Refugees to the North Caucasus,
40
137939
3715
02:33
I knew some of the risks.
41
141654
1872
02:35
Five colleagues had been killed,
42
143526
2353
02:37
three had been seriously injured,
43
145879
2067
02:39
seven had already been taken hostage.
44
147946
2345
02:42
So we were careful.
45
150291
1787
02:44
We were using armored
vehicles, decoy cars,
46
152078
4074
02:48
changing patterns of travel,
changing homes,
47
156152
3055
02:51
all sorts of security measures.
48
159207
2791
02:55
Yet on a cold winter night
of January '98, it was my turn.
49
163258
5950
03:01
When I entered my flat
in Vladikavkaz with a guard,
50
169208
3977
03:05
we were surrounded by armed men.
51
173185
2156
03:08
They took the guard,
they put him on the floor,
52
176781
2217
03:10
they beat him up in front of me,
53
178998
2624
03:13
tied him, dragged him away.
54
181622
2684
03:17
I was handcuffed, blindfolded,
and forced to kneel,
55
185536
4785
03:22
as the silencer of a gun
pressed against my neck.
56
190321
3883
03:26
When it happens to you,
57
194204
1738
03:27
there is no time for thinking,
no time for praying.
58
195942
3033
03:32
My brain went on automatic,
59
200045
2704
03:34
rewinding quickly
the life I'd just left behind.
60
202749
4366
03:39
It took me long minutes to figure out
61
207115
2530
03:41
that those masked men there
were not there to kill me,
62
209645
3413
03:45
but that someone, somewhere,
had ordered my kidnapping.
63
213058
4173
03:50
Then a process of dehumanization
started that day.
64
218551
4071
03:54
I was no more than just a commodity.
65
222622
4423
04:01
I normally don't talk about this,
66
229195
1816
04:03
but I'd like to share a bit with you
some of those 317 days of captivity.
67
231011
5017
04:08
I was kept in an underground cellar,
68
236598
3056
04:11
total darkness,
69
239654
2064
04:13
for 23 hours and 45 minutes every day,
70
241718
3754
04:17
and then the guards
would come, normally two.
71
245472
3286
04:20
They would bring a big piece of bread,
72
248758
2674
04:23
a bowl of soup, and a candle.
73
251432
2504
04:27
That candle would burn for 15 minutes,
74
255206
4074
04:31
15 minutes of precious light,
75
259280
3808
04:35
and then they would take it away,
and I returned to darkness.
76
263088
4136
04:41
I was chained by a metal cable to my bed.
77
269024
3514
04:44
I could do only four small steps.
78
272538
3242
04:48
I always dreamt of the fifth one.
79
276950
3785
04:52
And no TV, no radio,
no newspaper, no one to talk to.
80
280735
4241
04:56
I had no towel, no soap, no toilet paper,
81
284976
4093
05:01
just two metal buckets open,
one for water, for one waste.
82
289069
6287
05:09
Can you imagine that mock execution
can be a pastime for guards
83
297926
5029
05:14
when they are sadistic
or when they are just bored or drunk?
84
302955
5309
05:21
We are breaking my nerves very slowly.
85
309665
3408
05:25
Isolation and darkness
are particularly difficult to describe.
86
313073
4510
05:29
How do you describe nothing?
87
317583
2392
05:31
There are no words for the depths
of loneliness I reached
88
319975
3018
05:34
in that very thin border
between sanity and madness.
89
322993
5125
05:42
In the darkness, sometimes
I played imaginary games of checkers.
90
330168
5240
05:47
I would start with the black,
91
335408
2203
05:49
play with the white,
92
337611
1659
05:51
back to the black
trying to trick the other side.
93
339270
2609
05:55
I don't play checkers anymore.
94
343469
3391
05:58
I was tormented by the thoughts of my
family and my colleague, the guard, Edik.
95
346860
6317
06:05
I didn't know what had happened to him.
96
353177
2810
06:07
I was trying not to think,
97
355987
2485
06:10
I tried to fill up my time
98
358472
1460
06:11
by doing all sorts of physical
exercise on the spot.
99
359932
3811
06:15
I tried to pray, I tried all sorts
of memorization games.
100
363743
3940
06:21
But darkness also creates images
and thoughts that are not normal.
101
369063
4393
06:25
One part of your brain wants you
to resist, to shout, to cry,
102
373456
6261
06:31
and the other part of the brain
orders you to shut up
103
379717
3437
06:35
and just go through it.
104
383154
2809
06:37
It's a constant internal debate;
there is no one to arbitrate.
105
385963
3690
06:43
Once a guard came to me,
very aggressively, and he told me,
106
391163
4920
06:48
"Today you're going to kneel
and beg for your food."
107
396083
4137
06:52
I wasn't in a good mood,
so I insulted him.
108
400220
3622
06:55
I insulted his mother,
I insulted his ancestors.
109
403842
2934
06:58
The consequence was moderate:
he threw the food into my waste.
110
406776
4431
07:03
The day after he came back
with the same demand.
111
411207
3675
07:06
He got the same answer,
112
414882
2439
07:09
which had the same consequence.
113
417321
4211
07:13
Four days later,
the body was full of pain.
114
421532
3831
07:17
I didn't know hunger hurt so much
when you have so little.
115
425363
4342
07:21
So when the guards came down,
116
429705
3414
07:28
I knelt.
117
436049
3014
07:31
I begged for my food.
118
439063
3018
07:34
Submission was the only way for me
to make it to another candle.
119
442081
5587
07:41
After my kidnapping,
120
449302
1811
07:43
I was transferred
from North Ossetia to Chechnya,
121
451113
3157
07:46
three days of slow travel
in the trunks of different cars,
122
454270
4320
07:50
and upon arrival, I was interrogated
123
458590
2299
07:52
for 11 days by a guy called Ruslan.
124
460889
3665
07:56
The routine was always the same:
125
464554
1764
07:58
a bit more light, 45 minutes.
126
466318
2392
08:00
He would come down to the cellar,
127
468710
2275
08:02
he would ask the guards
to tie me on the chair,
128
470985
2264
08:05
and he would turn on the music loud.
129
473249
3100
08:08
And then he would yell questions.
130
476349
3181
08:11
He would scream. He would beat me.
131
479530
2795
08:14
I'll spare you the details.
132
482325
1903
08:16
There are many questions
I could not understand,
133
484248
2433
08:18
and there are some questions
I did not want to understand.
134
486681
4563
08:24
The length of the interrogation
was the duration of the tape:
135
492254
4179
08:28
15 songs, 45 minutes.
136
496433
3367
08:31
I would always long for the last song.
137
499800
2185
08:34
On one day, one night in that cellar,
I don't know what it was,
138
502575
3705
08:38
I heard a child crying above my head,
139
506280
3017
08:41
a boy, maybe two or three years old.
140
509297
2832
08:44
Footsteps, confusion, people running.
141
512129
3647
08:48
So when Ruslan came the day after,
142
516866
3034
08:51
before he put the first question to me,
143
519900
2469
08:54
I asked him, "How is your son today?
Is he feeling better?"
144
522369
3599
08:57
Ruslan was taken by surprise.
145
525968
2786
09:00
He was furious that the guards
may have leaked some details
146
528754
2829
09:03
about his private life.
147
531583
2578
09:06
I kept talking about NGOs
supplying medicines to local clinics
148
534161
4713
09:10
that may help his son to get better.
149
538874
2911
09:13
And we talked about education,
we talked about families.
150
541785
4124
09:17
He talked to me about his children.
151
545909
1858
09:19
I talked to him about my daughters.
152
547767
2066
09:21
And then he'd talk about guns,
about cars, about women,
153
549833
3390
09:25
and I had to talk about guns,
about cars, about women.
154
553223
4319
09:29
And we talked until
the last song on the tape.
155
557542
3738
09:33
Ruslan was the most brutal man I ever met.
156
561280
5643
09:38
He did not touch me anymore.
157
566923
3297
09:42
He did not ask any other questions.
158
570220
2716
09:44
I was no longer just a commodity.
159
572936
3855
09:48
Two days after, I was transferred
to another place.
160
576791
4969
09:53
There, a guard came to me,
very close -- it was quite unusual --
161
581760
5106
09:58
and he said with
a very soft voice, he said,
162
586866
3159
10:02
"I'd like to thank you
163
590025
2624
10:04
for the assistance your organization
provided my family
164
592649
4040
10:08
when we were displaced
in nearby Dagestan."
165
596689
4049
10:14
What could I possibly reply?
166
602308
3583
10:17
It was so painful.
It was like a blade in the belly.
167
605891
4776
10:22
It took me weeks of internal thinking
to try to reconcile
168
610667
3344
10:26
the good reasons we had
to assist that family
169
614011
3274
10:29
and the soldier of fortune he became.
170
617285
2972
10:32
He was young, he was shy.
171
620257
2113
10:34
I never saw his face.
172
622370
2275
10:36
He probably meant well.
173
624645
2670
10:39
But in those 15 seconds,
174
627315
2392
10:41
he made me question everything we did,
175
629707
3715
10:45
all the sacrifices.
176
633422
2391
10:47
He made me think also how they see us.
177
635813
3553
10:51
Until then, I had assumed
that they know why we are there
178
639366
2670
10:54
and what we are doing.
179
642036
2879
10:56
One cannot assume this.
180
644915
2853
10:59
Well, explaining why we do this
is not that easy,
181
647768
4252
11:04
even to our closest relatives.
182
652020
1792
11:07
We are not perfect, we are not superior,
183
655062
3397
11:10
we are not the world's fire brigade,
184
658459
2476
11:12
we are not superheroes,
185
660935
2114
11:15
we don't stop wars,
186
663049
1672
11:16
we know that humanitarian response is not
a substitute for political solution.
187
664721
5384
11:22
Yet we do this because one life matters.
188
670105
4458
11:26
Sometimes that's the only
difference you make --
189
674563
2253
11:28
one individual, one family,
a small group of individuals --
190
676816
3320
11:32
and it matters.
191
680136
1974
11:34
When you have a tsunami,
an earthquake or a typhoon,
192
682110
2857
11:36
you see teams of rescuers
coming from all over the world,
193
684967
4108
11:41
searching for survivors for weeks.
194
689075
3042
11:44
Why? Nobody questions this.
195
692117
2554
11:46
Every life matters,
196
694671
2113
11:48
or every life should matter.
197
696784
4226
11:53
This is the same for us
when we help refugees,
198
701010
2925
11:55
people displaced within their country
by conflict, or stateless persons,
199
703935
4860
12:01
I know many people,
200
709595
1795
12:03
when they are confronted
by overwhelming suffering,
201
711390
3008
12:06
they feel powerless and they stop there.
202
714398
3771
12:10
It's a pity, because there are
so many ways people can help.
203
718169
3877
12:14
We don't stop with that feeling.
204
722046
1981
12:16
We try to do whatever we can
to provide some assistance,
205
724027
2651
12:18
some protection, some comfort.
206
726678
2654
12:21
We have to.
207
729332
1761
12:23
We can't do otherwise.
208
731093
1750
12:24
It's what makes us feel,
I don't know, simply human.
209
732843
5354
12:30
That's a picture of me
the day of my release.
210
738197
4119
12:34
Months after my release,
I met the then-French prime minister.
211
742316
4342
12:38
The second thing he told me:
212
746658
2042
12:40
"You were totally irresponsible
to go to the North Caucasus.
213
748700
3531
12:44
You don't know how many
problems you've created for us."
214
752231
3906
12:50
It was a short meeting.
215
758017
1835
12:51
(Laughter)
216
759852
1719
12:54
I think helping people
in danger is responsible.
217
762661
4574
12:59
In that war, that nobody
seriously wanted to stop,
218
767235
4528
13:03
and we have many of these today,
219
771763
2345
13:06
bringing some assistance to people in need
and a bit of protection
220
774108
4500
13:10
was not just an act of humanity,
221
778608
1909
13:12
it was making a real difference
for the people.
222
780517
2902
13:15
Why could he not understand this?
223
783419
3251
13:18
We have a responsibility to try.
224
786670
1927
13:20
You've heard about that concept:
Responsibility to Protect.
225
788597
3834
13:24
Outcomes may depend
on various parameters.
226
792431
4081
13:28
We may even fail,
but there is worse than failing --
227
796512
3857
13:32
it's not even trying when we can.
228
800369
2751
13:36
Well, if you are met this way,
if you sign up for this sort of job,
229
804441
3875
13:40
your life is going to be full
of joy and sadness,
230
808316
4638
13:44
because there are a lot of people
we cannot help,
231
812954
2679
13:47
a lot of people we cannot protect,
a lot of people we did not save.
232
815633
3924
13:51
I call them my ghost,
233
819557
2243
13:53
and by having witnessed
their suffering from close,
234
821800
2957
13:56
you take a bit
of that suffering on yourself.
235
824757
4147
14:01
Many young humanitarian workers
236
829304
2666
14:03
go through their first experience
with a lot of bitterness.
237
831970
3018
14:06
They are thrown into situations
where they are witness,
238
834988
2972
14:09
but they are powerless
to bring any change.
239
837960
3112
14:13
They have to learn to accept it
240
841072
2507
14:15
and gradually turn this
into positive energy.
241
843579
3379
14:18
It's difficult.
242
846958
1449
14:20
Many don't succeed,
243
848407
2538
14:22
but for those who do,
there is no other job like this.
244
850945
4008
14:26
You can see the difference
you make every day.
245
854953
3780
14:31
Humanitarian aid workers
know the risk they are taking
246
859643
3162
14:34
in conflict areas or
in post-conflict environments,
247
862805
4912
14:39
yet our life, our job, is becoming
increasingly life-threatening,
248
867717
6712
14:46
and the sanctity of our life is fading.
249
874429
3182
14:51
Do you know that since the millennium,
250
879441
2659
14:54
the number of attacks on humanitarian
aid workers has tripled?
251
882100
4319
14:59
2013 broke new records:
252
887409
2632
15:03
155 colleagues killed,
253
891111
3272
15:06
171 seriously wounded,
254
894383
3134
15:09
134 abducted.
255
897517
3458
15:13
So many broken lives.
256
901375
3803
15:17
Until the beginning of the civil war
in Somalia in the late '80s,
257
905178
5202
15:22
humanitarian aid workers
were sometimes victims
258
910380
4110
15:26
of what we call collateral damages,
259
914490
1997
15:28
but by and large we were not
the target of these attacks.
260
916487
3715
15:32
This has changed.
261
920202
1554
15:33
Look at this picture.
262
921756
1276
15:35
Baghdad, August 2003:
263
923032
2834
15:37
24 colleagues were killed.
264
925866
2765
15:40
Gone are the days when
a U.N. blue flag or a Red Cross
265
928631
3526
15:44
would automatically protect us.
266
932157
3776
15:47
Criminal groups and some political groups
267
935933
3262
15:51
have cross-fertilized
over the last 20 years,
268
939195
2856
15:54
and they've created these sort of hybrids
269
942051
3135
15:57
with whom we have no way of communicating.
270
945186
2866
16:00
Humanitarian principles are tested,
questioned, and often ignored,
271
948052
5374
16:05
but perhaps more importantly,
we have abandoned the search for justice.
272
953426
4886
16:10
There seems to be
no consequence whatsoever
273
958312
3220
16:13
for attacks against
humanitarian aid workers.
274
961532
3465
16:16
After my release, I was told
not to seek any form of justice.
275
964997
4360
16:21
It won't do you any good,
that's what I was told.
276
969357
3227
16:24
Plus, you're going to put in danger
the life of other colleagues.
277
972584
4089
16:29
It took me years to see the sentencing
278
977723
3161
16:32
of three people associated
with my kidnapping,
279
980884
4291
16:37
but this was the exception.
280
985175
2536
16:39
There was no justice for any
of the humanitarian aid workers
281
987711
4519
16:44
killed or abducted in Chechnya
between '95 and '99,
282
992230
4288
16:48
and it's the same all over the world.
283
996518
2628
16:52
This is unacceptable.
284
1000436
2147
16:54
This is inexcusable.
285
1002583
1811
16:56
Attacks on humanitarian aid workers
are war crimes in international law.
286
1004394
4713
17:01
Those crimes should not go unpunished.
287
1009107
3088
17:04
We must end this cycle of impunity.
288
1012195
2740
17:06
We must consider that those attacks
against humanitarian aid workers
289
1014935
3831
17:10
are attacks against humanity itself.
290
1018766
3553
17:14
That makes me furious.
291
1022319
3625
17:18
I know I'm very lucky
compared to the refugees I work for.
292
1026274
4714
17:24
I don't know what it is to have seen
my whole town destroyed.
293
1032414
3627
17:28
I don't know what it is to have seen
my relatives shot in front of me.
294
1036041
4064
17:32
I don't know what it is to lose
the protection of my country.
295
1040105
4249
17:36
I also know that I'm very lucky
compared to other hostages.
296
1044354
4295
17:40
Four days before my eventful release,
four hostages were beheaded
297
1048649
5682
17:46
a few miles away from where
I was kept in captivity.
298
1054331
4395
17:50
Why them?
299
1058726
2204
17:52
Why am I here today?
300
1060930
2661
17:56
No easy answer.
301
1064641
3789
18:00
I was received with a lot of support
that I got from my relatives,
302
1068430
3613
18:04
from colleagues, from friends,
from people I didn't know.
303
1072043
3819
18:07
They have helped me over the years
to come out of the darkness.
304
1075862
3519
18:12
Not everyone was treated
with the same attention.
305
1080291
3268
18:16
How many of my colleagues,
after a traumatic incident,
306
1084189
3625
18:19
took their own life?
307
1087814
3276
18:23
I can count nine that I knew personally.
308
1091090
3729
18:26
How many of my colleagues
went through a difficult divorce
309
1094819
3728
18:30
after a traumatic experience
310
1098547
2934
18:33
because they could not explain
anything anymore to their spouse?
311
1101481
4728
18:38
I've lost that count.
312
1106209
2454
18:40
There is a price for this type of life.
313
1108663
3560
18:44
In Russia, all war monuments have
this beautiful inscription at the top.
314
1112223
4633
18:48
It says, (In Russian)
315
1116856
4109
18:52
"No one is forgotten,
nothing is forgotten."
316
1120965
3251
18:57
I do not forget my lost colleagues.
317
1125386
3137
19:00
I cannot forget anything.
318
1128523
2336
19:02
I call on you to remember their dedication
319
1130859
3213
19:06
and demand that humanitarian
aid workers around the world
320
1134072
3506
19:09
be better protected.
321
1137578
2577
19:12
We should not let that light of hope
they have brought to be switched off.
322
1140155
5596
19:17
After my ordeal, a lot of colleagues
asked me, "But why do you continue?
323
1145751
4690
19:22
Why do you do this sort of job?
324
1150441
2206
19:24
Why do you have to go back to it?"
325
1152647
2554
19:27
My answer was very simple:
326
1155201
2495
19:30
If I had quit,
327
1158066
2470
19:32
that would have meant
my kidnapper had won.
328
1160536
4017
19:36
They would have taken my soul
329
1164553
2351
19:38
and my humanity.
330
1166904
2275
19:41
Thank you.
331
1169179
2647
19:43
(Applause)
332
1171826
2167

▲Back to top

ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Vincent Cochetel - Humanitarian
Vincent Cochetel is the Director of the Bureau for Europe at the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR).

Why you should listen

Vincent Cochetel is the Director of the Bureau for Europe at the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR). There he focuses on the specific challenges of the region — maintaining quality in asylum-seeking procedures, ensuring access to protection for those fleeing the conflict in Syria, combatting a rise in xenophobia, and allocating resources for those affected by conflicts of the past.

In 1998, Cochetel was kidnapped near Chechnya. For 317 days, he was chained to a bed frame in a cellar and deprived of light. But far from withdrawing from humanitarian work, the experience made him more determined than ever to improve the rights of refugees worldwide. He has written articles on numerous refugee issues and contributed to the drafting of several UNHCR training manuals related to staff safety, emergency management, and protection. 

More profile about the speaker
Vincent Cochetel | Speaker | TED.com

Data provided by TED.

This site was created in May 2015 and the last update was on January 12, 2020. It will no longer be updated.

We are currently creating a new site called "eng.lish.video" and would be grateful if you could access it.

If you have any questions or suggestions, please feel free to write comments in your language on the contact form.

Privacy Policy

Developer's Blog

Buy Me A Coffee