Guy Winch: How to fix a broken heart
Guy Winch: Kako izliječiti slomljeno srce
Guy Winch asks us to take our emotional health as seriously as we take our physical health -- and explores how to heal from common heartaches. Full bio
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will have our heart broken.
when she was in middle school.
školi planirala svoje vjenčanje.
she didn't find a husband.
kada je navršila 27 godina.
of harsh chemotherapy
teške kemoterapije
to jump back into the dating world,
početi izlaziti na spojeve,
her search for a husband
potragu za mužem
on first dates in New York City,
a wide range of emotions.
she met Rich and fell in love.
je Richa i zaljubila se.
she hoped it would be.
kakvom ju je zamišljala.
at their favorite romantic restaurant.
najdražem romantičnom restoranu.
contain her excitement.
to Kathy that night.
for Kathy -- and he did --
stalo do Kathy -- a zaista jest --
bio zaljubljen.
and she now faced yet another recovery.
i čekao ju je još jedan oporavak.
thinking about Rich.
prestati misliti na Richa.
and determined woman
jaka i odlučna žena
emotional resources
of cancer treatments?
to recover from heartbreak?
od slomljenog srca?
of life challenges
raznih životnih problema
when our heart gets broken?
imamo slomljeno srce?
of every age and background
koje se inače oslanjate
down the wrong path.
what your mind is telling you.
onome što vam um govori.
of heartbroken people
o slomljenom srcu znamo
of why the relationship ended
zašto je došlo do prekida veze
for our ability to move on.
and honest explanation
i iskreno objašnjenje,
such dramatic emotional pain,
dramatičnu emocionalnu bol
must be equally dramatic.
mora biti isto tako dramatičan.
and measured of us
i najrealniji od nas
and conspiracy theories
uzroke i teorije urote
something must have happened
with figuring out what that was.
da sazna što je to bilo.
of that weekend in her mind,
that were not there.
into initiating this wild goose chase.
krene u tu uzaludnu potragu.
for so many months?
than we realize.
je nešto što se čini.
down one rabbit hole after another,
jedne do druge bizarnosti
to make us feel worse.
samo još gore osjećati.
in our brain that get activated
from substances like cocaine or opioids.
supstanci poput kokaina ili opioida.
the heroin of actually being with Rich,
time što je u vezi s Richom,
the methadone of her memories with him.
odabrao sjećanja na njega.
she was trying to solve a mystery,
pokušava riješiti zagonetku,
so difficult to heal.
preboljeti slomljeno srce.
you cannot ignore that.
ne možete to ignorirati.
as compelling as the urge is,
god to bilo privlačno,
every text you send,
poruka koju pošaljete,
stalking your ex on social media,
svog bivšeg na društvenoj mreži
is your strongest weapon.
je vaše najjače oružje.
that's going to feel satisfying.
neće biti dovoljno dobar.
the pain you feel.
ublažiti bol koju osjećate.
don't wait for one,
čekati da se pojavi,
or make up one yourself
ili izmislite neko objašnjenje
to resist the addiction.
kako biste se oduprli ovisnosti.
will feed on your hope
when your heart is broken.
kada vam je srce slomljeno.
to do the absolute opposite
we have when our heart is broken
radimo kada nam je srce slomljeno
osobu koja ga je slomila.
se njihovog osmijeha,
and made love under the stars.
ljubav pod zvijezdama.
feel more painful.
through one greatest hit after another,
naše najbolje hitove jedan za drugim
passive-aggressive Spotify playlist.
pasivno-agresivnog popisa glazbe.
pop into your mind.
takve misli u vaš um.
you have to balance them out
morate unijeti ravnotežu
not just their smile,
mrštenja, ne samo osmijeha,
you got lost coming down the mountain,
izgubili kada ste silazili s planine,
and didn't speak for two days.
razgovarali dva dana.
is to compile an exhaustive list
da naprave detaljan popis
the person was wrong for you,
je ta osoba povrijedila,
of nostalgia in a session,
nostalgije tijekom terapije,
they were perfect.
da je osoba bila savršena.
and neither was the relationship.
nije bila savršena.
you have to remind yourself of that,
morate se toga prisjetiti,
senior executive in a software company.
direktor u softverskoj tvrtci.
to start dating again.
to their adult children after one month,
su djecu svog partnera,
they don't mess around.
izlaze, shvaćaju to ozbiljno.
meets "The Fast and the Furious."
ljubav" i "Brzi i žestoki".
than he had been in years.
their first anniversary,
to be closer to her children,
obalu kako bi bila bliže svojoj djeci
a long-distance relationship.
and utterly devastated.
for many, many months,
is that feeling alone and in pain
je što osjećaj boli i usamljenosti
our intellectual functioning,
intelektualno funkcioniranje,
involving logic and reasoning.
koji zahtijevaju logiku i razmišljanje.
of Miguel's grief
he asked me in our session.
pitao me tijekom terapije.
getting over a one-year relationship?"
dana da preboli jednogodišnju vezu?"
of traditional loss and grief:
kao i normalna tuga i gubitak:
clinically measurable depression.
klinički mjerljive depresije.
psychological injury.
je psihološka ozlijeda.
bi večernje zabave.
with other couples.
kampiranja s drugim parovima.
to church every Sunday,
into the congregation.
of Sharon's church.
had left this huge void in his life,
veliku prazninu u njegovom životu,
why heartbreak could be so devastating,
slomljeno srce tako pogubno,
kako da se oporavite.
in your life and fill them,
u vašem životu i ispuniti ih
and what your life is about.
tko ste i što radite u životu.
even the empty spaces on the wall
čak i prazan dio zida
that can set you back,
koje vas vraćaju unatrag,
on how they were wrong for you,
sjetite koliko nisu bili dobri za vas,
that still give them a starring role
im daju glavnu ulogu
vašeg života
by your mind and you take steps to heal,
omete i poduzmete korake prema oporavku,
your suffering.
who benefit from that.
svojim prijateljima,
of compromised productivity
dolara na poslu zbog smanjene
sa slomljenim srcem,
to be important for their recovery.
veoma važna za njihov oporavak.
to move on than you think it should.
oporave nego što mislite.
within your own mind,
se vodi u vašem umu
kako biste pobijedili.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Guy Winch - Psychologist, authorGuy Winch asks us to take our emotional health as seriously as we take our physical health -- and explores how to heal from common heartaches.
Why you should listen
Guy Winch is a licensed psychologist who works with individuals, couples and families. As an advocate for psychological health, he has spent the last two decades adapting the findings of scientific studies into tools his patients, readers and audience members can use to enhance and maintain their mental health. As an identical twin with a keen eye for any signs of favoritism, he believes we need to practice emotional hygiene with the same diligence with which we practice personal and dental hygiene.
His recent book, Emotional First Aid: Healing Rejection, Guilt, Failure, and Other Everyday Hurts, has been translated in 24 languages. He writes the popular "Squeaky Wheel Blog" on PsychologyToday.com, and he is the author of The Squeaky Wheel: Complaining the Right Way to Get Results, Improve Your Relationships and Enhance Self-Esteem. His new book, How to Fix a Broken Heart, was published by TED Books/Simon & Schuster in 2017. He has also dabbled in stand-up comedy.
Guy Winch | Speaker | TED.com