TED2010
Julia Sweeney: It's time for "The Talk"
Julia Sweeney punya "Cerita"
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Meskipun sudah berusaha, artis komedi Julia Sweeney terpaksa berbohong saat putrinya yang berusia 8 tahun mulai belajar tentang reproduksi katak -- dan mulai menanyakan pertanyaan-pertanyaan cerdas.
Julia Sweeney - Actor, comedian, playwright
Julia Sweeney creates comedic works that tackle deep issues: cancer, family, faith. Full bio
Julia Sweeney creates comedic works that tackle deep issues: cancer, family, faith. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:15
I have a daughter, Mulan.
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Saya memiliki seorang putri, Mulan.
00:17
And when she was eight, last year,
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Dan tahun lalu saat dia berusia delapan tahun,
00:20
she was doing a report for school
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dia menulis laporan untuk tugas sekolahnya,
00:22
or she had some homework about frogs.
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atau mendapatkan PR tentang katak.
00:24
And we were at this restaurant,
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Dan kami berada di rumah makan.
00:26
and she said, "So, basically,
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Dan dia berkata, "Jadi, pada dasarnya,
00:28
frogs lay eggs
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katak bertelur
00:30
and the eggs turn into tadpoles,
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dan telurnya berubah menjadi berudu,
00:32
and tadpoles turn into frogs."
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dan dari berudu berubah menjadi katak."
00:34
And I said, "Yeah. You know, I'm not really up on my frog reproduction that much.
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Dan saya berkata, "Ya. Saya tidak begitu mengerti tentang reproduksi katak.
00:37
It's the females, I think, that lay the eggs,
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Saya pikir katak betina bertelur.
00:39
and then the males fertilize them.
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Dan para pejantan yang memberi pupuk.
00:41
And then they become tadpoles and frogs."
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Lalu telur-telur itu menjadi berudu dan katak."
00:43
And she says, "What? Only the females have eggs?"
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Dan dia berkata, "Apa? Hanya katak betina yang bertelur?"
00:45
And I said, "Yeah."
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Dan saya menjawab, "Iya"
00:47
And she goes, "And what's this fertilizing?"
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Dan dia bertanya kembali, "Lalu apa pupuknya?"
00:49
So I kind of said, "Oh, it's this extra ingredient,
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Jadi saya menjawab, "Oh, itu bahan tambahan,
00:51
you know, that you need
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kau tahu, yang diperlukan
00:53
to create a new frog
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untuk menciptakan katak baru
00:55
from the mom and dad frog." (Laughter)
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dari ayah dan ibu katak."
00:57
And she said, "Oh, so is that true for humans too?"
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Dan dia berkata, "Oh, jadi manusia juga seperti itu, benar?"
01:00
And I thought, "Okay, here we go."
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Dan saya berpikir, "Baik, begini."
01:03
I didn't know it would happen so quick, at eight.
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Saya tidak tahu hal ini akan terjadi sangat cepat, pada usia delapan tahun.
01:05
I was trying to remember all the guidebooks,
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Saya mencoba mengingat semua buku panduan,
01:07
and all I could remember was,
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dan yang dapat saya ingat adalah,
01:09
"Only answer the question they're asking.
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"Jawablah hal-hal yang ditanyakan saja.
01:11
Don't give any more information." (Laughter)
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Jangan memberikan informasi yang lain."
01:14
So I said, "Yes."
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Jadi saya berkata, "Iya."
01:16
And she said, "And where do, um,
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Dan dia bertanya, "Lalu di mana,
01:19
where do human women,
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di mana kaum wanita
01:21
like, where do women lay their eggs?"
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menaruh telurnya?"
01:23
And I said, "Well,
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Dan saya menjawab, "Begini,
01:25
funny you should ask. (Laughter)
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kau mungkin merasa lucu.
01:28
We have evolved to have our own pond.
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Kita memiliki kolam kita sendiri.
01:31
We have our very own pond inside our bodies.
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Kita memiliki kolam pribadi di dalam tubuh kita.
01:34
And we lay our eggs there,
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Dan kita meletakkan telur di sana.
01:36
we don't have to worry about other eggs or anything like that.
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Kita tidak perlu khawatir tentang telur yang lain atau hal-hal seperti itu.
01:39
It's our own pond. And that's how it happens."
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Ini kolam kita sendiri. Dan begitulah kejadiannya."
01:42
And she goes, "Then how do they get fertilized?"
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Lalu dia bertanya lagi, "Lalu bagaimana telur-telur itu dipupuk?"
01:44
And I said, "Well,
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Dan saya menjawab, "Begini,
01:46
Men, through their penis,
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Pria, melalui penis mereka,
01:49
they fertilize the eggs by the sperm coming out.
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mereka memupuk telur-telur itu dengan sperma yang keluar
01:52
And you go through the woman's vagina."
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dan melalui vagina si wanita."
01:55
And so we're just eating, and her jaw just drops,
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Saat itu kami sedang makan, dan dia langsung tercengang,
01:57
and she goes, "Mom!
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dan dia berkata, "Bu!
01:59
Like, where you go to the bathroom?"
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Mirip dengan pergi ke kamar mandi?"
02:02
And I said, "I know.
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Dan saya berkata, "Saya tahu.
02:04
I know."
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Saya tahu."
02:06
(Laughter)
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(Tawa)
02:12
That's how we evolved. It does seem odd.
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Begitulah cara kita berkembang biak. Memang terdengar aneh.
02:14
It is a little bit like having a waste treatment plant
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Ibarat memiliki tempat pengolahan limbah
02:17
right next to an amusement park ...
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di sebelah taman hiburan.
02:20
Bad zoning, but ..." (Laughter)
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Penempatan yang buruk. Tapi...
02:22
She's like, "What?" And she goes, "But Mom,
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Dia menjawab, "Apa?" Dan dia meneruskan, "Tapi Bu,
02:25
but men and women can't ever see each other naked, Mom.
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pria dan wanita tidak pernah melihat satu sama lain telanjang.
02:28
So how could that ever happen?"
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Bagaimana hal itu bisa terjadi?"
02:30
And then I go, "Well," and then I put my Margaret Mead hat on.
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Dan saya memakai topi Margaret Mead.
02:34
"Human males and females
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"Manusia pria dan wanita
02:36
develop a special bond,
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mengembangkan ikatan khusus,
02:39
and when they're much older, much, much older than you,
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dan saat mereka dewasa, jauh lebih dewasa darimu,
02:42
and they have a very special feeling,
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dan mereka memiliki perasaan yang sangat khusus,
02:44
then they can be naked together."
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mereka dapat telanjang bersama."
02:46
And she said, "Mom,
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Dan dia berkata, "Bu,
02:48
have you done this before?"
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apakah Ibu pernah melakukan ini sebelumnya?"
02:50
And I said, "Yes."
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Dan saya berkata, "Iya."
02:53
And she said, "But Mom, you can't have kids."
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Dan dia berkata, "Tapi, Ibu tidak bisa memiliki anak."
02:55
Because she knows that I adopted her and that I can't have kids.
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Karena dia tahu bahwa dia adalah anak angkat dan saya tidak dapat memliki anak.
02:57
And I said, "Yes."
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Dan saya menjawab, "Iya".
02:59
And she said, "Well, you don't have to do that again."
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Dan dia berkata, "Kalau begitu, Ibu tidak perlu melakukannya lagi."
03:01
And I said, "..."
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Lalu saya seperti, "..."
03:04
And then she said, "But how does it happen when a man and woman are together?
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Lalu dia berkata, "Tapi bagaimana hal ini dapat terjadi saat pria dan wanita bersama?
03:07
Like, how do they know that's the time?
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Maksudnya, bagaimana mereka tahu itulah saatnya?
03:09
Mom, does the man just say,
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Apakah pria hanya perlu berkata,
03:11
'Is now the time to take off my pants?'"
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"Apakah sekarang saatnya untuk melepas celana saya?"
03:13
(Laughter)
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(Tawa)
03:15
And I said, "Yes."
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Dan saya berkata, "Iya."
03:17
(Laughter)
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(Tawa)
03:19
"That is exactly right.
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"Benar sekali.
03:22
That's exactly how it happens."
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Begitulah kejadiannya."
03:24
So we're driving home and she's looking out the window, and she goes,
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Lalu saat kami dalam perjalanan pulang, dia melihat keluar jendela dan bertanya,
03:27
"Mom. What if two just people saw each other on the street,
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"Bu, bagaimana jika dua orang saling menatap di jalanan,
03:29
like a man and a woman, they just started doing it. Would that ever happen?"
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seperti pria dan wanita, dan mereka langsung melakukannya. Apakah hal itu mungkin?"
03:32
And I said, "Oh, no. Humans are so private.
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Dan saya menjawab, "Oh, tidak. Manusia sangat bersifat pribadi.
03:35
Oh ..."
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Oh tidak."
03:37
And then she goes, "What if there was like a party,
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Lalu dia bertanya, "Bagaimana jika ada sebuah pesta.
03:39
and there was just like a whole bunch of girls and a whole bunch of boys,
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Dan ada segerombolan pria dan wanita.
03:41
and there was a bunch of men and women and they just started doing it, Mom?
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Lalu apakah segerombolan pria dan wanita ini langsung melakukannya?
03:44
Would that ever happen?"
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Apakah hal itu mungkin?"
03:46
And I said, "Oh, no, no.
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Dan saya menjawab, "Tidak, tidak.
03:49
That's not how we do it."
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Bukan begitu cara kita melakukannya."
03:52
Then we got home and we see the cat. And she goes,
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Lalu kami pulang dan kami melihat seekor kucing. Lalu dia bertanya,
03:54
"Mom, how do cats do it?"
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"Bu, bagaimana kucing melakukan hal itu?"
03:56
And I go, "Oh, it's the same. It's basically the same."
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Dan saya menjawab, "Oh, sama saja. Pada dasarnya sama saja."
03:58
And then she got all caught up in the legs. "But how would the legs go, Mom?
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Lalu dia tertarik pada kakinya, "Tapi bagaimana dengan kakinya, Bu.
04:00
I don't understand the legs."
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Saya tidak mengerti."
04:02
She goes, "Mom, everyone can't do the splits."
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Dia meneruskan, "Bu, tidak semua orang bisa melakukan split."
04:04
And I go, "I know, but the legs ..."
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Lalu saya menjawab, "Saya tahu, tapi kakinya..."
04:06
and I'm probably like, "The legs get worked out."
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Saya seperti, "Hal itu bisa diatasi."
04:08
And she goes, "But I just can't understand it."
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Dan dia meneruskan, "Tapi, saya tidak mengerti."
04:09
So I go, "You know, why don't we go on the Internet,
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Jadi saya menjawab, "Mengapa kita tidak melihat internet,
04:11
and maybe we can see ... like on Wikipedia." (Laughter)
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dan mungkin kita dapat melihat ..." seperti di Wikipedia.
04:15
So we go online, and we put in "cats mating."
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Jadi kami online, dan kami mengetikkan perkawinan kucing.
04:17
And, unfortunately, on YouTube, there's many cats mating videos.
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Dan sialnya, di Youtube, ada banyak video kucing yang sedang kawin.
04:20
And we watched them and I'm so thankful,
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Dan kami menontonnya, dan saya sangat bersyukur,
04:22
because she's just like, "Wow! This is so amazing."
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karena dia hanya bereaksi seperti, "Wow! Menakjubkan."
04:24
She goes, "What about dogs?"
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Dia berkata, "Bagaimana dengan anjing?"
04:27
So we put in dogs mating, and,
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Lalu kami mengetikkan perkawinan anjing dan,
04:29
you know, we're watching it, and she's totally absorbed.
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anda tahu, kami menontonnya, dan dia benar-benar terpikat.
04:31
And then she goes, "Mom,
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Lalu dia berkata, "Bu
04:33
do you think they would have, on the Internet,
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menurut Ibu apakah di Internet ada
04:36
any humans mating?"
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persetubuhan manusia?"
04:39
(Laughter)
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(Tawa)
04:41
And then I realized that
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Lalu saya menyadari bahwa
04:43
I had taken my little eight year old's hand,
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saya telah membawa tangan putri kecil saya,
04:45
and taken her right into Internet porn. (Laughter)
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dan membawanya ke pornografi Internet.
04:47
And I looked into this
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Dan saya menatap
04:49
trusting, loving face,
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wajahnya yang penuh kepercayaan dan kasih,
04:51
and I said,
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dan saya berkata,
04:53
"Oh, no.
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"Oh, tidak.
04:55
That would never happen."
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Hal itu tidak akan pernah terjadi."
04:57
Thank you.
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Terima kasih.
04:59
(Applause)
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(Tepuk tangan)
05:01
Thank you.
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Terima kasih.
05:03
(Applause)
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(Tepuk tangan)
05:06
Thank you. I'm so happy to be here.
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Terima kasih. Saya sangat senang berada di sini.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Julia Sweeney - Actor, comedian, playwrightJulia Sweeney creates comedic works that tackle deep issues: cancer, family, faith.
Why you should listen
Julia Sweeney is a writer, director, actress, comedian and monologist. She is known for being a cast member on Saturday Night Live from 1990 to 1995, where she created and popularized the androgynous character, Pat. She is also well known for her comedic and dramatic monologues. God Said Ha! is a monologue about serious illness, her brother's lymphoma and her own cancer, and her family's crazy reactions to this crisis as they soldiered their way through struggle, confusion and death. This play was performed all over the U.S. and on Broadway at the Lyceum Theater. It was made into a film produced by Quentin Tarantino, and the comedy album from the show was nominated for a Grammy.
Sweeney's second monologue, In the Family Way, played in theatrical runs in New York and Los Angeles. It was ultimately fashioned into a book, a memoir titled If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother. Sweeney's third monologue, Letting Go of God, chronicled her journey from Catholicism to atheism. It was made into a film that played on Showtime.
Julia Sweeney | Speaker | TED.com