TED2010
Julia Sweeney: It's time for "The Talk"
Julia Sweeney ka "Fjalimin"
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Pamvaresisht perpjekjeve te saj me te mira, komediania Julia Sweeney eshte e detyruar te thote nje genjeshter te bardhe kur vajza e saj 8 - vjecare fillon te mesoj rreth riprodhimit te bretkosave -- dhe fillon te bej disa pyetje shume te zgjuara.
Julia Sweeney - Actor, comedian, playwright
Julia Sweeney creates comedic works that tackle deep issues: cancer, family, faith. Full bio
Julia Sweeney creates comedic works that tackle deep issues: cancer, family, faith. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:15
I have a daughter, Mulan.
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Une kam nje vajze, Mulan.
00:17
And when she was eight, last year,
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Dhe kur ajo ishte tete, vitin e kaluar,
00:20
she was doing a report for school
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ajo ishte duke bere nje raport per shkollen
00:22
or she had some homework about frogs.
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ose kishte disa detyra rreth bretkosave.
00:24
And we were at this restaurant,
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Dhe ne ishim tek ky restoranti,
00:26
and she said, "So, basically,
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dhe ajo tha, "Pra, ne thelb,
00:28
frogs lay eggs
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bretkosat leshojne veze
00:30
and the eggs turn into tadpoles,
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dhe vezet kthehen ne fazen larvore,
00:32
and tadpoles turn into frogs."
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dhe larvat kthehen ne bretkosa."
00:34
And I said, "Yeah. You know, I'm not really up on my frog reproduction that much.
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Dhe une i them, "Yeh. Ju e dini, une nuk jam shume per te te thene rreth riprodhimit te bretkosave.
00:37
It's the females, I think, that lay the eggs,
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Jane femrat, une mendoj, qe ato leshojne veze,
00:39
and then the males fertilize them.
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dhe me pas meshkujt i fekondojne ato.
00:41
And then they become tadpoles and frogs."
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Dhe me pas ato kthehen ne larva dhe ne bretkosa."
00:43
And she says, "What? Only the females have eggs?"
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Dhe ajo thote, "Cfare? Vetem femrat kane veze?"
00:45
And I said, "Yeah."
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Dhe une i pergjigjem, "Yeh."
00:47
And she goes, "And what's this fertilizing?"
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Dhe me pas ajo vazhdon, "Dhe cfare eshte ky fekondimi?"
00:49
So I kind of said, "Oh, it's this extra ingredient,
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Dhe une pak a shume i them, "Oh, eshte ky perberes shtese,
00:51
you know, that you need
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e ke parasysh, qe ti ke nevoje
00:53
to create a new frog
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per te krijuar nje bretkose te re
00:55
from the mom and dad frog." (Laughter)
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nga bretkosa mama dhe baba." (Te qeshura)
00:57
And she said, "Oh, so is that true for humans too?"
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Dhe ajo thote. "Oh, domethene qe kjo eshte e vertete dhe per njerezit?"
01:00
And I thought, "Okay, here we go."
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Dhe une mendova, "Ne rregull, ja ku arritem."
01:03
I didn't know it would happen so quick, at eight.
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Nuk e mendoja qe do te ndodhte kaq shpejt, ne moshen tete vjecare.
01:05
I was trying to remember all the guidebooks,
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Po mundohesha te kujtoja te gjithe ato libra udhezues,
01:07
and all I could remember was,
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dhe gjithcka qe me kujtohej ishte,
01:09
"Only answer the question they're asking.
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"Vetem pergjigju pyetjeve qe ata pyesin.
01:11
Don't give any more information." (Laughter)
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Mos jep me shume informacione." (Te qeshura)
01:14
So I said, "Yes."
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Keshtu qe une i thashe, "Po."
01:16
And she said, "And where do, um,
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Dhe ajo thote, "Dhe, ku do, em,
01:19
where do human women,
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ku femrat si qenie humane,
01:21
like, where do women lay their eggs?"
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si, ku femrat i vendosin vezet e tyre?"
01:23
And I said, "Well,
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Dhe une i them, "Epo,
01:25
funny you should ask. (Laughter)
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qesharake qe pyet. (Te qeshura)
01:28
We have evolved to have our own pond.
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Ne kemi evoluar per te patur pellgjet tona.
01:31
We have our very own pond inside our bodies.
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Ne kemi pellgjet tona brenda trupave tane.
01:34
And we lay our eggs there,
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Dhe ne i vendosim aty vezet tona,
01:36
we don't have to worry about other eggs or anything like that.
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ne nuk kemi pse te shqetesohemi rreth vezeve te tjere apo cdo gjeje tjeter si kjo.
01:39
It's our own pond. And that's how it happens."
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Eshte pellgu jone. Dhe kjo eshte sesi ajo ndodh."
01:42
And she goes, "Then how do they get fertilized?"
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Dhe ajo vazhdon, "Po si konfondohen ato me pas?"
01:44
And I said, "Well,
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Dhe une i them, "Epo,
01:46
Men, through their penis,
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Meshkujt, nepermjet penisit te tyre,
01:49
they fertilize the eggs by the sperm coming out.
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fekondojne vezet nepermjet spermes qe leshojne.
01:52
And you go through the woman's vagina."
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Dhe ajo shkon nepermjet vagines se gruas."
01:55
And so we're just eating, and her jaw just drops,
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Dhe ne ishim duke ngrene, dhe nofulla e saj rreshkiti,
01:57
and she goes, "Mom!
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dhe tha, "Maa!
01:59
Like, where you go to the bathroom?"
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Si pershembull, kur shkon ne banjo?"
02:02
And I said, "I know.
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Dhe une i thashe, "E di.
02:04
I know."
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E di."
02:06
(Laughter)
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(Te qeshura)
02:12
That's how we evolved. It does seem odd.
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Kjo eshte menyra sesi ne evolojme. Duket e cuditshme.
02:14
It is a little bit like having a waste treatment plant
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Duket pak sikur te kesh nje trajtim te mbeturinave bimore
02:17
right next to an amusement park ...
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mu ngjitur me nje park lojerash ...
02:20
Bad zoning, but ..." (Laughter)
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Zone e keqe, por...." (Te qeshura)
02:22
She's like, "What?" And she goes, "But Mom,
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Ajo reagon, "Cfare?" Dhe me pas vazhdon, "Por Ma,
02:25
but men and women can't ever see each other naked, Mom.
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por burrat dhe grate nuk e shohin kurre njeri - tjetrin te zhveshur.
02:28
So how could that ever happen?"
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Pra si mundet qe kjo te ndodh?"
02:30
And then I go, "Well," and then I put my Margaret Mead hat on.
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Dhe me pas une vazhdoj, "Epo," dhe me pas une ve kapelen time Margaret Mead.
02:34
"Human males and females
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"Qeniet njerezore meshkuj dhe femra
02:36
develop a special bond,
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zhvillojne nje lidhje te vecante,
02:39
and when they're much older, much, much older than you,
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dhe kur ato jane shume te vjeter, shume, shume te vjeter,
02:42
and they have a very special feeling,
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dhe ato kane nje ndjenje shume te vecante,
02:44
then they can be naked together."
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atehere ato mund ta zhveshin njeri - tjetrin."
02:46
And she said, "Mom,
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Dhe ajo pergjigjet, "Maa,
02:48
have you done this before?"
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e ke bere ti kete gje perpara?"
02:50
And I said, "Yes."
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Dhe une i them, "Po."
02:53
And she said, "But Mom, you can't have kids."
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Dhe ajo thote, "Por ma, ti s'mund te kesh femije."
02:55
Because she knows that I adopted her and that I can't have kids.
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Sepse ajo e di qe une e kam asoptuar ate dhe une s'mund te kem femije.
02:57
And I said, "Yes."
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Dhe une i them, "Po."
02:59
And she said, "Well, you don't have to do that again."
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Dhe ajo thote, "Epo, ti ske pse ta besh kete perseri."
03:01
And I said, "..."
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Dhe une i them, "..."
03:04
And then she said, "But how does it happen when a man and woman are together?
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Dhe me pas ajo thote, "Por si ndodh kjo kur nje burre dhe nje grua jane bashke?
03:07
Like, how do they know that's the time?
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Si pershembull, si e dine ato qe eshte koha e pershtatshme?
03:09
Mom, does the man just say,
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Ma, a thote burri vetem,
03:11
'Is now the time to take off my pants?'"
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'Eshte tani koha per te hequr pantallonat e mia?"
03:13
(Laughter)
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(Te qeshura)
03:15
And I said, "Yes."
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Dhe une i them, "Po."
03:17
(Laughter)
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(Te qeshura)
03:19
"That is exactly right.
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"Kjo eshte pikerisht e vertete.
03:22
That's exactly how it happens."
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Kjo eshte tamam ashtu sic ndodh."
03:24
So we're driving home and she's looking out the window, and she goes,
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Ne ishim duke u kthyer per ne shtepi me makine dhe ajo eshte duke pare jashte dritares, dhe thote,
03:27
"Mom. What if two just people saw each other on the street,
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"Maa. Po sikur dy njerez sapo pane njeri tjetrin ne rruge,
03:29
like a man and a woman, they just started doing it. Would that ever happen?"
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si nje burre dhe nje grua, ato filluan te benin ate. A mund te ndodhe kjo?"
03:32
And I said, "Oh, no. Humans are so private.
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Dhe une i them, "Oh, jo. Njerezit jane shume privat.
03:35
Oh ..."
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Oh..."
03:37
And then she goes, "What if there was like a party,
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Dhe me pas ajo thote, "Po sikur atje mami te ishte feste,
03:39
and there was just like a whole bunch of girls and a whole bunch of boys,
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dhe atje te kishte nje grup te tere vajzash dhe nje grup te tere meshkujsh,
03:41
and there was a bunch of men and women and they just started doing it, Mom?
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dhe atje kishte nje grup te tere me burre dhe gra dhe ato filluan ta benin ate?
03:44
Would that ever happen?"
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A mund te ndodhe kjo?
03:46
And I said, "Oh, no, no.
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Dhe une i them, "Oh, jo, jo.
03:49
That's not how we do it."
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Nuk eshte kjo menyra sesi ne e bejme ate."
03:52
Then we got home and we see the cat. And she goes,
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Me pas ne shkojme ne shtepi dhe shohim macen. Dhe ajo vazhdon,
03:54
"Mom, how do cats do it?"
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"Ma, po macet si e bejne?"
03:56
And I go, "Oh, it's the same. It's basically the same."
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Dhe une i them. "Oh, eshte e njejta. Ne themel eshte e njejta."
03:58
And then she got all caught up in the legs. "But how would the legs go, Mom?
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Dhe me pas ajo kapet pas ceshtjes se kembeve. "Po kembet si shkojne, Ma?
04:00
I don't understand the legs."
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Une nuk i kuptoj kembet."
04:02
She goes, "Mom, everyone can't do the splits."
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Ajo vazhdon, "Ma, cdokush nuk mund ta bej ndarjen."
04:04
And I go, "I know, but the legs ..."
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Dhe vazhdoj, "E di, por kembet..."
04:06
and I'm probably like, "The legs get worked out."
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dhe une jam paksa si, "Kembet punojne jashte."
04:08
And she goes, "But I just can't understand it."
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Dhe ajo vazhdon, "Por une s'mund ta kuptoj kete."
04:09
So I go, "You know, why don't we go on the Internet,
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Keshtu qe une i them, "E di cfare, pse nuk shkojme ne internet,
04:11
and maybe we can see ... like on Wikipedia." (Laughter)
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dhe ndoshta mund te shohim.... si pershembull ne Wikipedia." (Te qeshura)
04:15
So we go online, and we put in "cats mating."
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Keshtu qe ne shkojme online, dhe klikojme tek "bashkimi i maceve."
04:17
And, unfortunately, on YouTube, there's many cats mating videos.
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Dhe, fatkeqsisht, ne YouTube, ka shume vidio te bashkimit te maceve.
04:20
And we watched them and I'm so thankful,
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Dhe ne i pame ato dhe une jam shume mirenjohese,
04:22
because she's just like, "Wow! This is so amazing."
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sepse ajo reagon, "Uau! Kjo eshte e mrekullueshme."
04:24
She goes, "What about dogs?"
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Me pas vazhdon, "Po rreth qenve?"
04:27
So we put in dogs mating, and,
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Keshtu qe ajo klikon tek bashkimi i qenve, dhe,
04:29
you know, we're watching it, and she's totally absorbed.
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ne jemi duke e pare ate, dhe ajo eshte plotesisht e zhytur.
04:31
And then she goes, "Mom,
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Dhe me pas vazhdon, "Maa,
04:33
do you think they would have, on the Internet,
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mendon qe mund te kene, ne internet,
04:36
any humans mating?"
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ndonje bashkim te njerezve?"
04:39
(Laughter)
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(Te qeshura)
04:41
And then I realized that
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Dhe me pas une kuptova
04:43
I had taken my little eight year old's hand,
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qe une kisha marre per dore vajzen time tete vjecare,
04:45
and taken her right into Internet porn. (Laughter)
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dhe derguar ate drejt e ne pornografine ne internet .(Te qeshura)
04:47
And I looked into this
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Dhe une pashe brenda asaj
04:49
trusting, loving face,
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fytyre besuese, te dashur,
04:51
and I said,
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dhe thashe,
04:53
"Oh, no.
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"Oh, jo.
04:55
That would never happen."
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Kjo nuk mund te ndodhe kurre."
04:57
Thank you.
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Ju faleminderit.
04:59
(Applause)
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(Duartrokitje)
05:01
Thank you.
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Ju faleminderit.
05:03
(Applause)
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(Duartrokitje)
05:06
Thank you. I'm so happy to be here.
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Faleminderit. Jam shume e lumtur qe jam ketu.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Julia Sweeney - Actor, comedian, playwrightJulia Sweeney creates comedic works that tackle deep issues: cancer, family, faith.
Why you should listen
Julia Sweeney is a writer, director, actress, comedian and monologist. She is known for being a cast member on Saturday Night Live from 1990 to 1995, where she created and popularized the androgynous character, Pat. She is also well known for her comedic and dramatic monologues. God Said Ha! is a monologue about serious illness, her brother's lymphoma and her own cancer, and her family's crazy reactions to this crisis as they soldiered their way through struggle, confusion and death. This play was performed all over the U.S. and on Broadway at the Lyceum Theater. It was made into a film produced by Quentin Tarantino, and the comedy album from the show was nominated for a Grammy.
Sweeney's second monologue, In the Family Way, played in theatrical runs in New York and Los Angeles. It was ultimately fashioned into a book, a memoir titled If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother. Sweeney's third monologue, Letting Go of God, chronicled her journey from Catholicism to atheism. It was made into a film that played on Showtime.
Julia Sweeney | Speaker | TED.com