TED2010
Julia Sweeney: It's time for "The Talk"
Julia Sweeney: Čas je za "Pogovor"
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Kljub svojim najboljšim prizadevanjem se je bila komičarka Julia Sweeney prisiljena rahlo zlagati, ko se je njena osemletnica začela učiti o razmnoževanju žab - in pričela postavljati nekaj zelo pametnih vprašanj.
Julia Sweeney - Actor, comedian, playwright
Julia Sweeney creates comedic works that tackle deep issues: cancer, family, faith. Full bio
Julia Sweeney creates comedic works that tackle deep issues: cancer, family, faith. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:15
I have a daughter, Mulan.
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Imam hčerko Mulan.
00:17
And when she was eight, last year,
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In ko je bila lansko leto stara osem let,
00:20
she was doing a report for school
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je za šolo pripravljala poročilo
00:22
or she had some homework about frogs.
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oziroma je imela domačo nalogo o žabah.
00:24
And we were at this restaurant,
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Bili sva v neki restavraciji,
00:26
and she said, "So, basically,
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ko je rekla: "Torej, v bistvu
00:28
frogs lay eggs
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žabe izležejo jajčeca
00:30
and the eggs turn into tadpoles,
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in jajčeca se spremenijo v paglavce,
paglavci pa v žabe."
paglavci pa v žabe."
00:32
and tadpoles turn into frogs."
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00:34
And I said, "Yeah. You know, I'm not really up on my frog reproduction that much.
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Odgovorila sem: "Veš, nisem najbolj
na tekočem glede razmnoževanja žab.
na tekočem glede razmnoževanja žab.
00:37
It's the females, I think, that lay the eggs,
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Mislim, da so samice tiste, ki ležejo
jajčeca, in potem jih samci oplodijo.
jajčeca, in potem jih samci oplodijo.
00:39
and then the males fertilize them.
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00:41
And then they become tadpoles and frogs."
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In potem se razvijejo v paglavce in žabe."
00:43
And she says, "What? Only the females have eggs?"
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In vpraša: "Kaj?
Imajo samo samice jajčeca?"
Imajo samo samice jajčeca?"
00:45
And I said, "Yeah."
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Odgovorila sem: "Ja."
00:47
And she goes, "And what's this fertilizing?"
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Pa nadaljuje: "In kaj je to oplojevanje?"
Rekla sem: "Ah,
to je ena dodatna sestavina,
to je ena dodatna sestavina,
00:49
So I kind of said, "Oh, it's this extra ingredient,
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00:51
you know, that you need
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veš, ki jo potrebuješ,
da narediš novo žabo
da narediš novo žabo
00:53
to create a new frog
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iz mame žabe in očeta žabca."
00:55
from the mom and dad frog." (Laughter)
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In rekla je: "A to drži tudi za ljudi?"
00:57
And she said, "Oh, so is that true for humans too?"
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01:00
And I thought, "Okay, here we go."
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In sem si mislila: "Ok, pa smo tam."
01:03
I didn't know it would happen so quick, at eight.
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Nisem vedela, da se bo to zgodilo
že pri osmih.
že pri osmih.
01:05
I was trying to remember all the guidebooks,
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Poskušala sem se spomniti vseh vodičev
in spomnila sem se samo tega:
in spomnila sem se samo tega:
01:07
and all I could remember was,
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"Odgovori samo na vprašanje,
ki ga postavljajo.
ki ga postavljajo.
01:09
"Only answer the question they're asking.
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Ne dajaj dodatnih informacij."
(smeh)
(smeh)
01:11
Don't give any more information." (Laughter)
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Tako sem odvrnila: "Ja."
01:14
So I said, "Yes."
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01:16
And she said, "And where do, um,
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Pa je vprašala: "In kje, em,
01:19
where do human women,
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kje človeške ženske,
01:21
like, where do women lay their eggs?"
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kje ženske ležejo svoja jajčeca?"
01:23
And I said, "Well,
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In sem rekla: "No,
01:25
funny you should ask. (Laughter)
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zanimivo, da vprašaš."
(smeh)
(smeh)
01:28
We have evolved to have our own pond.
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"Razvile smo se tako,
da imamo svoj lasten ribnik.
da imamo svoj lasten ribnik.
01:31
We have our very own pond inside our bodies.
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Imamo svoj ribnik v svojih telesih.
01:34
And we lay our eggs there,
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In svoja jajčeca ležemo tam,
01:36
we don't have to worry about other eggs or anything like that.
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ni nas treba skrbeti zaradi
tujih jajčec ali česa podobnega.
tujih jajčec ali česa podobnega.
01:39
It's our own pond. And that's how it happens."
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Je naš lasten ribnik.
In tako se to dogaja."
In tako se to dogaja."
01:42
And she goes, "Then how do they get fertilized?"
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In nadaljuje: "Kako pa se oplodijo?"
01:44
And I said, "Well,
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In ji povem: "Torej,
01:46
Men, through their penis,
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moški, skozi svoj penis,
01:49
they fertilize the eggs by the sperm coming out.
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oplodijo jajčeca s spermo, ki pride ven.
01:52
And you go through the woman's vagina."
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Ti pa potem prideš skozi žensko vagino."
In tako medtem ko jeva,
njena čeljust kar pade in pravi:
njena čeljust kar pade in pravi:
01:55
And so we're just eating, and her jaw just drops,
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01:57
and she goes, "Mom!
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"Mama! Od tam, kjer lulamo?"
01:59
Like, where you go to the bathroom?"
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02:02
And I said, "I know.
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In ji rečem: "Vem, vem."
02:04
I know."
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02:06
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
Tako smo se razvile. Res se zdi čudno.
02:12
That's how we evolved. It does seem odd.
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Je nekako tako, kot da bi imeli
tovarno za predelavo odpadkov
tovarno za predelavo odpadkov
02:14
It is a little bit like having a waste treatment plant
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čisto zraven zabaviščnega parka...
02:17
right next to an amusement park ...
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02:20
Bad zoning, but ..." (Laughter)
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Slabo pozicioniranje, toda..."
(smeh)
(smeh)
02:22
She's like, "What?" And she goes, "But Mom,
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In vpraša: "Kaj?"
In nadaljuje: "Ampak mama!
In nadaljuje: "Ampak mama!
02:25
but men and women can't ever see each other naked, Mom.
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Moški in ženske eni drugih
ne smejo videti nagih, mama.
ne smejo videti nagih, mama.
02:28
So how could that ever happen?"
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Kako se lahko to potem sploh zgodi?"
02:30
And then I go, "Well," and then I put my Margaret Mead hat on.
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In rečem: "Torej,"
kot da bi bila Margaret Mead.
kot da bi bila Margaret Mead.
02:34
"Human males and females
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"Človeški samci in samice
02:36
develop a special bond,
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razvijejo posebno vez
02:39
and when they're much older, much, much older than you,
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in ko so mnogo starejši,
mnogo, mnogo starejši kot ti
mnogo, mnogo starejši kot ti
02:42
and they have a very special feeling,
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in imajo poseben občutek,
02:44
then they can be naked together."
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takrat so lahko goli skupaj."
02:46
And she said, "Mom,
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In me vpraša: "Mama,
02:48
have you done this before?"
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si ti tudi že to počela?"
02:50
And I said, "Yes."
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In ji povem: "Ja."
02:53
And she said, "But Mom, you can't have kids."
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In reče: "Ampak mama,
ti ne moreš imeti otrok."
ti ne moreš imeti otrok."
02:55
Because she knows that I adopted her and that I can't have kids.
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Ker ve, da je posvojena in da
ne morem imeti otrok. In rečem: "Ja."
ne morem imeti otrok. In rečem: "Ja."
02:57
And I said, "Yes."
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02:59
And she said, "Well, you don't have to do that again."
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In pravi: "No,
tega ti ni treba več početi."
tega ti ni treba več početi."
03:01
And I said, "..."
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In rečem: "..."
03:04
And then she said, "But how does it happen when a man and woman are together?
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Potem vpraša: "Kako pa se zgodi,
ko sta moški in ženska skupaj?
ko sta moški in ženska skupaj?
03:07
Like, how do they know that's the time?
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Mislim, kako vesta, da je čas za to?
03:09
Mom, does the man just say,
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Mama, ali moški kar reče:
03:11
'Is now the time to take off my pants?'"
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'Je zdaj čas, da slečem hlače?'"
03:13
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
03:15
And I said, "Yes."
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In ji rečem: "Ja."
03:17
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
03:19
"That is exactly right.
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"Točno tako.
03:22
That's exactly how it happens."
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Točno tako se zgodi."
03:24
So we're driving home and she's looking out the window, and she goes,
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In potem se peljeva domov
in gleda skozi okno, ko spet vpraša:
in gleda skozi okno, ko spet vpraša:
03:27
"Mom. What if two just people saw each other on the street,
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"Mama, kaj če se dva človeka
srečata na ulici,
srečata na ulici,
03:29
like a man and a woman, they just started doing it. Would that ever happen?"
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moški in ženska in kar začneta to početi.
Se to lahko zgodi?"
Se to lahko zgodi?"
03:32
And I said, "Oh, no. Humans are so private.
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In ji rečem: "O, ne.
Ljudje to počnemo v zasebnosti.
Ljudje to počnemo v zasebnosti.
03:35
Oh ..."
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Ne..."
03:37
And then she goes, "What if there was like a party,
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In nadaljuje: "Kaj pa, če bi bila zabava
in bi bilo mnogo deklet in mnogo fantov
in bi bilo mnogo deklet in mnogo fantov
03:39
and there was just like a whole bunch of girls and a whole bunch of boys,
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03:41
and there was a bunch of men and women and they just started doing it, Mom?
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in mnogo moških in žensk
in bi kar začeli to početi?
in bi kar začeli to početi?
03:44
Would that ever happen?"
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Se to lahko zgodi?"
In odgovorim: "O, ne, ne.
03:46
And I said, "Oh, no, no.
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03:49
That's not how we do it."
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Tega ne delamo tako."
Potem pa prispeva domov in vidiva mačko.
03:52
Then we got home and we see the cat. And she goes,
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In že vpraša: "Mama,
kako pa mačke to počnejo?"
kako pa mačke to počnejo?"
03:54
"Mom, how do cats do it?"
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03:56
And I go, "Oh, it's the same. It's basically the same."
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In ji povem: "V bistvu je enako."
In potem se je zataknila pri nogah.
"Kam pa gredo noge, mama?
"Kam pa gredo noge, mama?
03:58
And then she got all caught up in the legs. "But how would the legs go, Mom?
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04:00
I don't understand the legs."
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Ne razumem, kako je z nogami."
04:02
She goes, "Mom, everyone can't do the splits."
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In reče: "Mama,
ne znajo vsi narediti špage."
ne znajo vsi narediti špage."
04:04
And I go, "I know, but the legs ..."
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In ji rečem: "Vem, ampak noge..."
in verjetno rečem:
"Z nogami se že znajdemo."
"Z nogami se že znajdemo."
04:06
and I'm probably like, "The legs get worked out."
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04:08
And she goes, "But I just can't understand it."
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In nadaljuje: "Ampak ne razumem."
04:09
So I go, "You know, why don't we go on the Internet,
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In rečem: "Veš,
kaj če greva kar na internet
kaj če greva kar na internet
04:11
and maybe we can see ... like on Wikipedia." (Laughter)
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in mogoče bova lahko videli...
recimo na Wikipediji." (smeh)
recimo na Wikipediji." (smeh)
04:15
So we go online, and we put in "cats mating."
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Tako greva na splet
in vpiševa "parjenje mačk."
in vpiševa "parjenje mačk."
04:17
And, unfortunately, on YouTube, there's many cats mating videos.
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In na žalost je na YouTubu
mnogo posnetkov parjenja mačk.
mnogo posnetkov parjenja mačk.
04:20
And we watched them and I'm so thankful,
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Pa sva jih gledali in sem zelo hvaležna,
04:22
because she's just like, "Wow! This is so amazing."
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ker je govorila: "Uau!
To je tako neverjetno."
To je tako neverjetno."
04:24
She goes, "What about dogs?"
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In vpraša: "Kaj pa psi?"
04:27
So we put in dogs mating, and,
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In sva vnesli "parjenje psov"
in, veste, gledava to in čisto jo posrka.
04:29
you know, we're watching it, and she's totally absorbed.
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04:31
And then she goes, "Mom,
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Potem pa vpraša: "Mama,
04:33
do you think they would have, on the Internet,
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misliš, da imajo na internetu
04:36
any humans mating?"
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tudi parjenje ljudi?"
04:39
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
04:41
And then I realized that
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In takrat sem spoznala,
da sem prijela svojo osemletnico za roko
da sem prijela svojo osemletnico za roko
04:43
I had taken my little eight year old's hand,
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04:45
and taken her right into Internet porn. (Laughter)
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in jo popeljala naravnost
v internetno pornografijo.
v internetno pornografijo.
04:47
And I looked into this
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Pogledala sem jo
04:49
trusting, loving face,
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v njen zaupljiv, ljubeč obraz
04:51
and I said,
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in rekla:
04:53
"Oh, no.
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"Oh, ne.
04:55
That would never happen."
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To se ne more zgoditi."
04:57
Thank you.
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Hvala.
04:59
(Applause)
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(aplavz)
05:01
Thank you.
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Hvala.
(aplavz)
05:03
(Applause)
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05:06
Thank you. I'm so happy to be here.
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Hvala. Vesela sem, da sem tukaj.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Julia Sweeney - Actor, comedian, playwrightJulia Sweeney creates comedic works that tackle deep issues: cancer, family, faith.
Why you should listen
Julia Sweeney is a writer, director, actress, comedian and monologist. She is known for being a cast member on Saturday Night Live from 1990 to 1995, where she created and popularized the androgynous character, Pat. She is also well known for her comedic and dramatic monologues. God Said Ha! is a monologue about serious illness, her brother's lymphoma and her own cancer, and her family's crazy reactions to this crisis as they soldiered their way through struggle, confusion and death. This play was performed all over the U.S. and on Broadway at the Lyceum Theater. It was made into a film produced by Quentin Tarantino, and the comedy album from the show was nominated for a Grammy.
Sweeney's second monologue, In the Family Way, played in theatrical runs in New York and Los Angeles. It was ultimately fashioned into a book, a memoir titled If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother. Sweeney's third monologue, Letting Go of God, chronicled her journey from Catholicism to atheism. It was made into a film that played on Showtime.
Julia Sweeney | Speaker | TED.com