ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Julia Sweeney - Actor, comedian, playwright
Julia Sweeney creates comedic works that tackle deep issues: cancer, family, faith.

Why you should listen

Julia Sweeney is a writer, director, actress, comedian and monologist. She is known for being a cast member on Saturday Night Live from 1990 to 1995, where she created and popularized the androgynous character, Pat. She is also well known for her comedic and dramatic monologues. God Said Ha! is a monologue about serious illness, her brother's lymphoma and her own cancer, and her family's crazy reactions to this crisis as they soldiered their way through struggle, confusion and death. This play was performed all over the U.S. and on Broadway at the Lyceum Theater. It was made into a film produced by Quentin Tarantino, and the comedy album from the show was nominated for a Grammy.

Sweeney's second monologue, In the Family Way, played in theatrical runs in New York and Los Angeles. It was ultimately fashioned into a book, a memoir titled If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother. Sweeney's third monologue, Letting Go of God, chronicled her journey from Catholicism to atheism. It was made into a film that played on Showtime.

More profile about the speaker
Julia Sweeney | Speaker | TED.com
TED2010

Julia Sweeney: It's time for "The Talk"

Julia Sweeney: Det er på tide med "Samtalen"

Filmed:
3,719,405 views

Til tross for gode intensjoner blir komikeren Julia Sweeney nødt til å fortelle en liten hvit løgn når hennes 8 år gamle datter begynner å lære om froskenes formering -- og begynner å stille noen veldig smarte spørsmål.
- Actor, comedian, playwright
Julia Sweeney creates comedic works that tackle deep issues: cancer, family, faith. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:15
I have a daughterdatter, MulanMulan.
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Jeg har en datter, Mulan.
00:17
And when she was eightåtte, last yearår,
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I fjor, da hun var åtte år gammel,
00:20
she was doing a reportrapportere for schoolskole
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holdt hun på å skrive en stil for skolen
00:22
or she had some homeworkhjemmelekser about frogsfrosker.
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eller hun hadde noen lekser om frosker.
00:24
And we were at this restaurantrestaurant,
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Vi var på restaurant
00:26
and she said, "So, basicallyi utgangspunktet,
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og hun sa: "Så i utgangspunktet
00:28
frogsfrosker laylegge eggsegg
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legger frosker egg
00:30
and the eggsegg turnsving into tadpolesrumpetroll,
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og eggene blir til rumpetroll,
00:32
and tadpolesrumpetroll turnsving into frogsfrosker."
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og rumpetroll blir til frosker."
00:34
And I said, "Yeah. You know, I'm not really up on my frogfrosk reproductionreproduksjon that much.
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Jeg sa: "Du skjønner, jeg er ikke
oppdatert på froskeformering.
00:37
It's the femaleskvinner, I think, that laylegge the eggsegg,
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Jeg tror det er hunnene
som legger eggene,
00:39
and then the maleshanner fertilizegjødsle them.
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og så kommer hannene og befrukter dem.
Og så blir de til rumpetroll
og så til frosker."
00:41
And then they becomebli tadpolesrumpetroll and frogsfrosker."
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00:43
And she sayssier, "What? Only the femaleskvinner have eggsegg?"
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Så hun: "Hva? Har bare hunnene egg?"
00:45
And I said, "Yeah."
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Og jeg sier: "Jepp."
00:47
And she goesgår, "And what's this fertilizinggjødsling?"
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Så hun: "Og hva er
den der befruktningen?"
00:49
So I kindsnill of said, "Oh, it's this extraekstra ingredientingrediensen,
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Så jeg sier: "Å, det er
den der ekstra ingrediensen
00:51
you know, that you need
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du trenger
00:53
to createskape a newny frogfrosk
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for å lage en ny frosk
00:55
from the mommamma and dadpappa frogfrosk." (LaughterLatter)
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fra mor og far frosk."
(Latter)
00:57
And she said, "Oh, so is that trueekte for humansmennesker too?"
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Og hun sa: "Å, er det det samme
med mennesker?"
01:00
And I thought, "Okay, here we go."
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Og jeg tenkte: "Uff, der har vi den!"
Det kom fortere enn jeg trodde,
åtte år gammel.
01:03
I didn't know it would happenskje so quickrask, at eightåtte.
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01:05
I was tryingprøver to rememberhuske all the guidebooksguidebøker,
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Jeg prøvde å huske håndbøkene,
01:07
and all I could rememberhuske was,
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og alt jeg kunne huske var:
01:09
"Only answersvar the questionspørsmål they're askingspør.
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"Bare svar på spørsmålet de stiller.
01:11
Don't give any more informationinformasjon." (LaughterLatter)
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Ikke gi informasjon utover det."
(Latter)
01:14
So I said, "Yes."
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Så jeg sa: "Ja."
01:16
And she said, "And where do, umUM,
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Så hun sa: "Og hvor, hm,
01:19
where do humanmenneskelig womenkvinner,
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hvor legger menneskelige kvinner,
01:21
like, where do womenkvinner laylegge theirderes eggsegg?"
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liksom, hvor legger kvinnene eggene sine?"
01:23
And I said, "Well,
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Og jeg sa: "Vel,
01:25
funnymorsom you should askspørre. (LaughterLatter)
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det var morsomt at du spurte om det.
(Latter)
01:28
We have evolvedutviklet seg to have our ownegen ponddam.
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Vi har utviklet oss slik at vi har
vår egen dam.
01:31
We have our very ownegen ponddam insideinnsiden our bodiesorganer.
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Vi har vår egen lille dam
inne i kroppen vår.
01:34
And we laylegge our eggsegg there,
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Og der legger vi eggene våre,
01:36
we don't have to worrybekymre about other eggsegg or anything like that.
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vi trenger ikke å være bekymret for
andre egg eller noe slikt.
01:39
It's our ownegen ponddam. And that's how it happensskjer."
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Det er vår egen dam.
Og det er slik det foregår."
Så hun:
"Men hvordan blir de befruktet, da?"
01:42
And she goesgår, "Then how do they get fertilizedbefruktet?"
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01:44
And I said, "Well,
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Og jeg sier: "Vel,
01:46
MenMenn, throughgjennom theirderes penispenis,
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menn, gjennom sin penis,
01:49
they fertilizegjødsle the eggsegg by the spermsperm comingkommer out.
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befrukter eggene
med sæd som kommer ut.
01:52
And you go throughgjennom the woman'skvinnens vaginavagina."
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Og det går gjennom kvinnens vagina."
Så vi sitter der og spiser,
og hun får hakeslepp,
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And so we're just eatingspiser, and her jawkjeven just dropsdråper,
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01:57
and she goesgår, "MomMor!
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og hun sier: "Mamma!"
01:59
Like, where you go to the bathroombaderom?"
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Liksom, der du tisser?"
02:02
And I said, "I know.
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Og jeg sier: "Jeg vet.
02:04
I know."
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Jeg vet."
02:06
(LaughterLatter)
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(Latter)
Det er slik vi har utviklet oss.
Det virker jo litt rart.
02:12
That's how we evolvedutviklet seg. It does seemsynes oddmerkelig.
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02:14
It is a little bitbit like havingha a wastekaste bort treatmentbehandling plantanlegg
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Det er som å ha
et avfallsbehandlingsanlegg
02:17
right nextneste to an amusementfornøyelsespark parkparkere ...
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ved siden av et tivoli ...
02:20
Baddårlig zoningreguleringsplan, but ..." (LaughterLatter)
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Dårlig reguleringsplan ..."
(Latter)
02:22
She's like, "What?" And she goesgår, "But MomMor,
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Så hun sier: "Hva? Men mamma,
02:25
but menmenn and womenkvinner can't ever see eachHver other nakednaken, MomMor.
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menn og kvinner kan ikke få se
hverandre nakne, mamma!
02:28
So how could that ever happenskje?"
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Så hvordan ville dette kunne skje?"
Så jeg sier: "Vel," som om jeg var
antropologen Margaret Mead,
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And then I go, "Well," and then I put my MargaretMargaret MeadMjød hathatt on.
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02:34
"HumanMenneskelige maleshanner and femaleskvinner
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"Menneskelige hanner og hunner
02:36
developutvikle a specialspesiell bondknytte bånd,
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utvikler et spesielt bånd,
02:39
and when they're much oldereldre, much, much oldereldre than you,
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og når de er mye eldre,
mye, mye eldre enn deg,
02:42
and they have a very specialspesiell feelingfølelse,
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og de har en helt spesiell følelse,
02:44
then they can be nakednaken togethersammen."
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da kan de være nakne sammen."
02:46
And she said, "MomMor,
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Og hun sa: "Mamma,
02:48
have you doneferdig this before?"
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har du gjort dette før?"
02:50
And I said, "Yes."
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Og jeg sa: "Ja."
02:53
And she said, "But MomMor, you can't have kidsbarn."
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Så hun: "Men mamma,
du kan ikke få barn."
Hun vet hun er adoptert
og at jeg ikke kan få barn.
02:55
Because she knowsvet that I adoptedadoptert her and that I can't have kidsbarn.
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02:57
And I said, "Yes."
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Så jeg sa: "Ja."
Så hun: "Vel, du trenger ikke
å gjøre det igjen."
02:59
And she said, "Well, you don't have to do that again."
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03:01
And I said, "..."
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Så jeg sa: "..."
Så hun: "Men hvordan skjer det
når en mann og en kvinne er sammen?
03:04
And then she said, "But how does it happenskje when a man and womankvinne are togethersammen?
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03:07
Like, how do they know that's the time?
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Hvordan vet de at det er den rette tiden?
03:09
MomMor, does the man just say,
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Mamma, sier mannen bare:
03:11
'Is now the time to take off my pantsbukser?'"
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"Er det på tide å ta av buksene nå?"
03:13
(LaughterLatter)
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(Latter)
03:15
And I said, "Yes."
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Og jeg sa: "Ja."
03:17
(LaughterLatter)
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(Latter)
03:19
"That is exactlynøyaktig right.
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"Det er helt riktig.
03:22
That's exactlynøyaktig how it happensskjer."
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Det er nøyaktig slik det foregår."
03:24
So we're drivingkjøring home and she's looking out the windowvindu, and she goesgår,
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På vei hjem kikker hun ut av
bilvinduet og sier:
03:27
"MomMor. What if two just people saw eachHver other on the streetgate,
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"Hva om to mennesker
bare møttes på gata,
03:29
like a man and a womankvinne, they just startedstartet doing it. Would that ever happenskje?"
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en mann og en kvinne, og de bare
gjorde det. Kunne det skje?"
03:32
And I said, "Oh, no. HumansMennesker are so privateprivat.
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Og jeg sa: "Å nei da.
Mennesker er så private av seg.
03:35
Oh ..."
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Å ..."
03:37
And then she goesgår, "What if there was like a partyparti,
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Og så sier hun: "Enn om det var en fest,
03:39
and there was just like a wholehel bunchgjeng of girlsjenter and a wholehel bunchgjeng of boysgutter,
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og det var en hel gjeng
med jenter og gutter,
03:41
and there was a bunchgjeng of menmenn and womenkvinner and they just startedstartet doing it, MomMor?
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en hel gjeng med menn og kvinner
og de bare gjorde det, mamma?
03:44
Would that ever happenskje?"
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Kunne det skje?"
03:46
And I said, "Oh, no, no.
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Og jeg sa: "Å nei, nei.
03:49
That's not how we do it."
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Det er ikke måten vi gjør det på."
Så kom vi oss hjem og får øye på katta.
Så hun:
03:52
Then we got home and we see the catkatt. And she goesgår,
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03:54
"MomMor, how do catskatter do it?"
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"Mamma, hvordan gjør katter det?"
03:56
And I go, "Oh, it's the samesamme. It's basicallyi utgangspunktet the samesamme."
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Jeg sier: "Å, det er i grunnen det samme."
03:58
And then she got all caughtfanget up in the legsben. "But how would the legsben go, MomMor?
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"Men hva med beina, mamma?
04:00
I don't understandforstå the legsben."
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Jeg skjønner ikke beina."
Hun sier:
"Mamma, ikke alle kan gå i spagat."
04:02
She goesgår, "MomMor, everyonealle can't do the splitsdeler."
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04:04
And I go, "I know, but the legsben ..."
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Og jeg sier: "Jeg vet, men beina ..."
04:06
and I'm probablysannsynligvis like, "The legsben get workedarbeidet out."
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og jeg sier noe som
"Beina ordner seg."
"Jeg skjønner det ikke!"
04:08
And she goesgår, "But I just can't understandforstå it."
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04:09
So I go, "You know, why don't we go on the InternetInternett,
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Så jeg sier: "La oss se på nettet,
04:11
and maybe we can see ... like on WikipediaWikipedia." (LaughterLatter)
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og kanskje vi kan se ... på Wikipedia."
(Latter)
Vi går på nettet, og vi skriver
"parrende katter."
04:15
So we go onlinepå nett, and we put in "catskatter matingparing."
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04:17
And, unfortunatelydessverre, on YouTubeYouTube, there's manymange catskatter matingparing videosvideoer.
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Og, dessverre, på YouTube
finnes det mange katteparingsvideoer.
04:20
And we watchedovervåket them and I'm so thankfultakknemlig,
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Vi ser på dem og jeg er veldig takknemlig,
04:22
because she's just like, "WowWow! This is so amazingfantastisk."
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fordi hun sier:
"Wow, dette er fantastisk."
04:24
She goesgår, "What about dogshunder?"
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Og så: "Hva med hunder?"
04:27
So we put in dogshunder matingparing, and,
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Så vi gir inn "hunder som parrer" og
04:29
you know, we're watchingse it, and she's totallyhelt klart absorbedabsorbert.
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vi ser på det, og hun er helt oppslukt.
04:31
And then she goesgår, "MomMor,
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Og så sier hun: "Mamma,
04:33
do you think they would have, on the InternetInternett,
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tror du at de ville ha, på nettet,
04:36
any humansmennesker matingparing?"
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mennesker som parrer?"
04:39
(LaughterLatter)
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(Latter)
04:41
And then I realizedrealisert that
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Og så gikk det opp for meg at
jeg hadde tatt
min lille åtte-åring i hånda
04:43
I had takentatt my little eightåtte yearår old'sgamle handhånd,
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04:45
and takentatt her right into InternetInternett pornporno. (LaughterLatter)
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og ledet henne rett til nettpornografi.
(Latter)
04:47
And I looked into this
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Og jeg så på dette
04:49
trustingklarerer, lovingkjærlig faceansikt,
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tillitsfulle, elskende ansiktet,
04:51
and I said,
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og jeg sa:
04:53
"Oh, no.
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"Å nei!
04:55
That would never happenskje."
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Det ville aldri skje."
04:57
Thank you.
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Takk.
04:59
(ApplauseApplaus)
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(Applaus)
05:01
Thank you.
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Takk.
05:03
(ApplauseApplaus)
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(Applaus)
05:06
Thank you. I'm so happylykkelig to be here.
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Takk. Jeg er veldig glad for å være her.
Translated by Marleen Laschet
Reviewed by Martin Hassel

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Julia Sweeney - Actor, comedian, playwright
Julia Sweeney creates comedic works that tackle deep issues: cancer, family, faith.

Why you should listen

Julia Sweeney is a writer, director, actress, comedian and monologist. She is known for being a cast member on Saturday Night Live from 1990 to 1995, where she created and popularized the androgynous character, Pat. She is also well known for her comedic and dramatic monologues. God Said Ha! is a monologue about serious illness, her brother's lymphoma and her own cancer, and her family's crazy reactions to this crisis as they soldiered their way through struggle, confusion and death. This play was performed all over the U.S. and on Broadway at the Lyceum Theater. It was made into a film produced by Quentin Tarantino, and the comedy album from the show was nominated for a Grammy.

Sweeney's second monologue, In the Family Way, played in theatrical runs in New York and Los Angeles. It was ultimately fashioned into a book, a memoir titled If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother. Sweeney's third monologue, Letting Go of God, chronicled her journey from Catholicism to atheism. It was made into a film that played on Showtime.

More profile about the speaker
Julia Sweeney | Speaker | TED.com