ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Julia Sweeney - Actor, comedian, playwright
Julia Sweeney creates comedic works that tackle deep issues: cancer, family, faith.

Why you should listen

Julia Sweeney is a writer, director, actress, comedian and monologist. She is known for being a cast member on Saturday Night Live from 1990 to 1995, where she created and popularized the androgynous character, Pat. She is also well known for her comedic and dramatic monologues. God Said Ha! is a monologue about serious illness, her brother's lymphoma and her own cancer, and her family's crazy reactions to this crisis as they soldiered their way through struggle, confusion and death. This play was performed all over the U.S. and on Broadway at the Lyceum Theater. It was made into a film produced by Quentin Tarantino, and the comedy album from the show was nominated for a Grammy.

Sweeney's second monologue, In the Family Way, played in theatrical runs in New York and Los Angeles. It was ultimately fashioned into a book, a memoir titled If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother. Sweeney's third monologue, Letting Go of God, chronicled her journey from Catholicism to atheism. It was made into a film that played on Showtime.

More profile about the speaker
Julia Sweeney | Speaker | TED.com
TED2010

Julia Sweeney: It's time for "The Talk"

Džulija Svini (Julia Sweeny): Vrijeme je za "Razgovor"

Filmed:
3,719,405 views

Uprkos svojim najvećim naporima, Džulija Svini je prisiljena da ispriča male bijele laži kada njena osmogodišnja ćerka počne da uči o parenju žaba -- i počne da postavlja vrlo pametna pitanja.
- Actor, comedian, playwright
Julia Sweeney creates comedic works that tackle deep issues: cancer, family, faith. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:15
I have a daughter, Mulan.
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Imam ćerku, zove se Mulan.
00:17
And when she was eight, last year,
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I kada je imala osam godina, prošle godine,
00:20
she was doing a report for school
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radila je izvještaj za školu
00:22
or she had some homework about frogs.
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ili je imala neki domaći zadatak o žabama.
00:24
And we were at this restaurant,
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I bili smo u jednom restoranu,
00:26
and she said, "So, basically,
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i ona je rekla: "Pa u suštini,
00:28
frogs lay eggs
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žabe ležu jaja
00:30
and the eggs turn into tadpoles,
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i jaja se pretvaraju u punoglavce,
00:32
and tadpoles turn into frogs."
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a punoglavci u žabe".
00:34
And I said, "Yeah. You know, I'm not really up on my frog reproduction that much.
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Ja sam rekla: "Da. Znaš, ne znam
baš mnogo o razmnožavanju žaba.
00:37
It's the females, I think, that lay the eggs,
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Ako su ženke, mislim da ležu jaja,
00:39
and then the males fertilize them.
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a mužjaci ih oplode.
00:41
And then they become tadpoles and frogs."
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I tada oni postaju punoglavci i žabe."
00:43
And she says, "What? Only the females have eggs?"
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A ona je rekla: "Šta?
Samo ženke imaju jaja?"
00:45
And I said, "Yeah."
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I ja sam rekla: "Da."
00:47
And she goes, "And what's this fertilizing?"
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Ona je nastavila:
"A šta je oplodnja?"
00:49
So I kind of said, "Oh, it's this extra ingredient,
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Rekla sam joj: "Pa, to je dodatni sastojak,
00:51
you know, that you need
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znaš, koji ti treba
00:53
to create a new frog
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da bi napravili novu žabu
00:55
from the mom and dad frog." (Laughter)
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od mame i tate žabe." (Smijeh)
00:57
And she said, "Oh, so is that true for humans too?"
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Ona je rekla: "O, da li je to i za ljude tako?"
01:00
And I thought, "Okay, here we go."
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Pomislila sam: "U redu, evo ga."
01:03
I didn't know it would happen so quick, at eight.
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Nisam znala da će se desiti
tako brzo, u osmoj godini.
01:05
I was trying to remember all the guidebooks,
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Pokušavala sam da se sjetim svih vodiča,
01:07
and all I could remember was,
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i sve čega sam mogla da se sjetim, bilo je:
01:09
"Only answer the question they're asking.
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"Samo odgovorite na pitanje koje
vam postavljaju.
01:11
Don't give any more information." (Laughter)
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Nemojte da odajete više informacija." (Smijeh)
01:14
So I said, "Yes."
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Tako da sam rekla: "Da."
01:16
And she said, "And where do, um,
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I ona je rekla: "I gdje, hm,
01:19
where do human women,
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gdje žena,
01:21
like, where do women lay their eggs?"
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kao, gdje žena polaže jaja?"
01:23
And I said, "Well,
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I ja sam joj rekla: "Pa,
01:25
funny you should ask. (Laughter)
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zanimljivo što pitaš. (Smijeh)
01:28
We have evolved to have our own pond.
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Mi smo se razvili tako da
imamo naše sopstveno jezerce.
01:31
We have our very own pond inside our bodies.
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Imamo sopstveno jezerce u našim tijelima.
01:34
And we lay our eggs there,
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I polažemo jaja tu,
01:36
we don't have to worry about other eggs or anything like that.
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Ne moramo da brinemo
o drugim jajima ili tome slično.
01:39
It's our own pond. And that's how it happens."
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To je naše jezerce. I tako se to dešava."
01:42
And she goes, "Then how do they get fertilized?"
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Ali ona je nastavila:
"Onda kako se oplode?"
01:44
And I said, "Well,
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Rekla sam: "Pa,
01:46
Men, through their penis,
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muškarci kroz svoj penis,
01:49
they fertilize the eggs by the sperm coming out.
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oplode jaja spermom koja izlazi.
01:52
And you go through the woman's vagina."
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I beba ide kroz ženinu vaginu."
01:55
And so we're just eating, and her jaw just drops,
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I tako dok smo jeli, njena vilica je pala,
01:57
and she goes, "Mom!
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i rekla je: "Mama!
01:59
Like, where you go to the bathroom?"
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Kroz ono gdje piškiš?"
02:02
And I said, "I know.
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Rekla sam: "Znam.
02:04
I know."
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Znam."
02:06
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
02:12
That's how we evolved. It does seem odd.
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Tako smo nastali. Čini se čudno.
02:14
It is a little bit like having a waste treatment plant
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To je kao da imate postrojenje
za odlaganje otpada
02:17
right next to an amusement park ...
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odmah pored zabavnog parka ...
02:20
Bad zoning, but ..." (Laughter)
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Loša pozicija, ali ..." (Smijeh)
02:22
She's like, "What?" And she goes, "But Mom,
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Ona odgovara: "Šta?" I nastavlja: "Ali, mama,
02:25
but men and women can't ever see each other naked, Mom.
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ali muškarci i žene ne smiju da vide
jedno drugo kada su goli, mama.
02:28
So how could that ever happen?"
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Kako bi to moglo ikada da se desi?"
02:30
And then I go, "Well," and then I put my Margaret Mead hat on.
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Rekla sam joj: "Pa,"
i stavila šešir Margaret Mid.
02:34
"Human males and females
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"Muškarci i žene
02:36
develop a special bond,
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su razvili posebnu vezu,
02:39
and when they're much older, much, much older than you,
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i kada su mnogo stariji,
mnogo mnogo stariji od tebe,
02:42
and they have a very special feeling,
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imaju veoma poseban osjećaj,
02:44
then they can be naked together."
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i tada mogu da budu goli zajedno."
02:46
And she said, "Mom,
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I ona je rekla: "Mama,
02:48
have you done this before?"
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da li si ti to radila nekada?"
02:50
And I said, "Yes."
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Rekla sam joj: "Da."
02:53
And she said, "But Mom, you can't have kids."
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I ona je odgovorila, "Ali, mama,
ti ne možeš da imaš djecu."
02:55
Because she knows that I adopted her and that I can't have kids.
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Zato što zna da sam je usvojila
i da ne mogu da imam djecu.
02:57
And I said, "Yes."
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Rekla sam joj: "Da."
02:59
And she said, "Well, you don't have to do that again."
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Ona će: "Pa, ne moraš da radiš to opet."
03:01
And I said, "..."
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Rekla sam: "..."
03:04
And then she said, "But how does it happen when a man and woman are together?
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Tada je rekla: "Ali, šta se dešava
kada su muškarac i žena zajedno?
03:07
Like, how do they know that's the time?
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Kao, kada oni znaju da je vrijeme?
03:09
Mom, does the man just say,
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Mama, da li muškarac samo kaže,
03:11
'Is now the time to take off my pants?'"
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'Da li je sada vrijeme da skinem pantalone?"'
03:13
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
03:15
And I said, "Yes."
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Rekla sam: "Da."
03:17
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
03:19
"That is exactly right.
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"Upravo tako.
03:22
That's exactly how it happens."
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Tačno se tako događa."
03:24
So we're driving home and she's looking out the window, and she goes,
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Kada smo se vozile kući,
gledala je kroz prozor i pitala me je:
03:27
"Mom. What if two just people saw each other on the street,
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"Mama, šta ako se dvoje ljudi vidi na ulici,
03:29
like a man and a woman, they just started doing it. Would that ever happen?"
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muškarac i žena, i počnu da rade to.
Da li se to može desiti?"
03:32
And I said, "Oh, no. Humans are so private.
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Odgovorila sam joj:
"O, ne. Ljudi su diskretni.
03:35
Oh ..."
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Oh..."
03:37
And then she goes, "What if there was like a party,
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Nastavljala je: "A šta ako je žurka,
03:39
and there was just like a whole bunch of girls and a whole bunch of boys,
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i tu je gomila djevojaka i gomila momaka,
03:41
and there was a bunch of men and women and they just started doing it, Mom?
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i tu je gomila muškaraca i žena,
i oni počnu da rade to, mama?"
03:44
Would that ever happen?"
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Može li to da se desi?"
03:46
And I said, "Oh, no, no.
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I rekla sam: "O, ne, ne.
03:49
That's not how we do it."
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To ne radimo tako."
03:52
Then we got home and we see the cat. And she goes,
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Onda smo stigli kući i ugledali mačku.
I pitala je:
03:54
"Mom, how do cats do it?"
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"Mama, kako to mačke rade?"
03:56
And I go, "Oh, it's the same. It's basically the same."
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Rekla sam: "O, to je isto.
U suštini je isto."
03:58
And then she got all caught up in the legs. "But how would the legs go, Mom?
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A onda se odjednom zanimala za noge.
"Ali kako se noge namjeste, mama?
04:00
I don't understand the legs."
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Ne razumijem gdje su noge."
04:02
She goes, "Mom, everyone can't do the splits."
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Kaže: "Mama, ne mogu svi napraviti špagu."
04:04
And I go, "I know, but the legs ..."
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Rekla sam joj: "Znam, ali noge..."
04:06
and I'm probably like, "The legs get worked out."
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i rekla sam: "Noge se nekako snađu."
04:08
And she goes, "But I just can't understand it."
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I ona je nastavila:
"Ali, jednostavno to ne mogu da razumijem."
04:09
So I go, "You know, why don't we go on the Internet,
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Pa sam rekla: "Znaš, zašto
ne bi smo otišli na internet,
04:11
and maybe we can see ... like on Wikipedia." (Laughter)
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i možda da vidimo... na Vikipediji."
04:15
So we go online, and we put in "cats mating."
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Onda smo otišle na internet
i upisale "parenje mačaka."
04:17
And, unfortunately, on YouTube, there's many cats mating videos.
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I, nažalost, na Ju Tjubu, postoji
mnogo snimaka o parenju mačaka.
04:20
And we watched them and I'm so thankful,
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I pogledali smo ih,
i mnogo sam zahvalna,
04:22
because she's just like, "Wow! This is so amazing."
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jer je bila sva:
"Vau! Ovo je nevjerovatno."
04:24
She goes, "What about dogs?"
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Onda je pitala: "Šta je sa psima?"
04:27
So we put in dogs mating, and,
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Onda smo potražili parenje pasa, i
04:29
you know, we're watching it, and she's totally absorbed.
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znate, gledale smo, i ona je sve upijala.
04:31
And then she goes, "Mom,
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Onda je nastavila: "Mama,
04:33
do you think they would have, on the Internet,
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da li misliš da ima na internetu,
04:36
any humans mating?"
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kako se ljudi pare?"
04:39
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
04:41
And then I realized that
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Onda sam shvatila da
04:43
I had taken my little eight year old's hand,
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sam uzela osmogodišnjakinju za ruku,
04:45
and taken her right into Internet porn. (Laughter)
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i povela je pravo na
internet pornografiju. (Smijeh)
04:47
And I looked into this
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I pogledala sam u ovo
04:49
trusting, loving face,
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povjerljivo, voljeno lice
04:51
and I said,
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i rekla,
04:53
"Oh, no.
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"O, ne.
04:55
That would never happen."
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to se ne može dogoditi,"
04:57
Thank you.
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Hvala vam.
04:59
(Applause)
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(Aplauz)
05:01
Thank you.
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Hvala vam.
05:03
(Applause)
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(Aplauz)
05:06
Thank you. I'm so happy to be here.
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Hvala vam. Srećna sam što sam ovdje.
Translated by Anastazija Langer
Reviewed by Radica Stojanovic

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Julia Sweeney - Actor, comedian, playwright
Julia Sweeney creates comedic works that tackle deep issues: cancer, family, faith.

Why you should listen

Julia Sweeney is a writer, director, actress, comedian and monologist. She is known for being a cast member on Saturday Night Live from 1990 to 1995, where she created and popularized the androgynous character, Pat. She is also well known for her comedic and dramatic monologues. God Said Ha! is a monologue about serious illness, her brother's lymphoma and her own cancer, and her family's crazy reactions to this crisis as they soldiered their way through struggle, confusion and death. This play was performed all over the U.S. and on Broadway at the Lyceum Theater. It was made into a film produced by Quentin Tarantino, and the comedy album from the show was nominated for a Grammy.

Sweeney's second monologue, In the Family Way, played in theatrical runs in New York and Los Angeles. It was ultimately fashioned into a book, a memoir titled If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother. Sweeney's third monologue, Letting Go of God, chronicled her journey from Catholicism to atheism. It was made into a film that played on Showtime.

More profile about the speaker
Julia Sweeney | Speaker | TED.com