Özlem Cekic: Why I have coffee with people who send me hate mail
Özlem Cekic: Derfor drikker jeg kaffe med mennesker, der sender mig hade-emails.
Born in Turkey with Kurdish roots, Özlem Sara Cekic was one of the first women with a Muslim immigrant background to be elected to the Danish Parliament, where she served from 2007 to 2015. Full bio
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and personal abuse
og personlige fornærmelser.
at besvare disse emails
that we might meet for coffee and a chat.
skulle mødes til kaffe og en snak.
that I want to share with you.
som jeg vil dele med jer.
when I was a young child.
da jeg var lille.
in the Danish parliament
til valg til folketinget
with a minority background.
med anden etnisk baggrund.
that not everyone was happy about it
to finding hate messages in my inbox.
at finde hade-emails i min indbakke.
with something like this:
doing in our parliament?"
som dig i vores folketing?''
and I had nothing in common.
og jeg intet havde tilfælles.
in the parliament said
en af mine kolleger i folketinget,
it will give the police a lead."
politiet noget at gå efter.''
"When something happens" and not "if."
''Når noget sker'' og ikke ''hvis''.
were also sent to my home address.
hadebreve til mit hjem.
in public debate,
i den offentlige debat,
fik jeg hemmelig adresse,
to protect my family.
af min familie.
at chikanere mig.
Muslim women on the street.
overfaldet muslimske kvinder på gaden.
and the phone was ringing constantly.
og min telefon ringede hele tiden.
at han var i nærheden.
he hate you so much, Mom,
''Hvorfor hader han dig så meget, mor,
dumme'' sagde jeg.
that was a pretty clever answer.
at det var et ret klogt svar.
most of us would give.
det svar, de fleste af os ville give.
and they are the bad guys, period.
og de er de onde, punktum.
I was at a friend's house,
besøgte jeg en ven,
about all the hate and racism I had met.
alt det had og racisme, jeg havde oplevet.
that I should call them up
ringe til dem
of the Danish Parliament," he said.
af det danske folketing,'' sagde han.
you would become a martyr."
ville du blive martyr.''
win-win situation for dig.''
where I had saved all the hate mail.
havde gemt alle hadebeskederne
with words like "terrorist,"
''terrorist,''
who had sent me the most.
den, der havde sendt mig flest.
so I could say at least I had tried.
så jeg kunne sige, at jeg havde forsøgt.
You have sent me so many hate mails.
Du har sendt mig så mange hade-emails.
and we can drink a coffee together
og vi kunne drikke en kop kaffe sammen
we met at his house.
mødtes vi hjemme hos ham.
when he opened his front door
da han åbnede døren
nothing like I'd imagined.
som jeg havde forestillet mig.
identical to the one my parents used.
et kaffestel magen til mine forældres.
for two and a half hours.
that when he waits for the bus
at når han venter på bussen,
hans chauffør var en 'fejlfarve'.
at chaufføren var racist.
omkring min oplevelse.
kunne jeg virkelig godt lide Ingolf.
of having so much in common
have så meget tilfælles
such clearly racist views.
åbenlyst racistiske synspunkter.
of those who had sent me hate mails
der havde sendt mig hade-emails,
of what I call #dialoguecoffee.
på det, jeg kalder #dialogkaffe.
the most terrible things to me
sagt de frygteligste ting til mig
why they hate people like me
hvorfor de hader folk som mig,
the last eight years.
I approach agree to meet me.
siger ja til at møde mig.
to always meet them in their house
altid at møde dem i deres hjem
that I trust them.
at jeg føler tillid.
because when we eat together,
for når vi spiser sammen,
what we have in common
at finde det, vi har til fælles,
some valuable lessons.
lært noget værdifuldt.
hate mails are workers,
er arbejdere,
their behavior is acceptable,
at deres opførsel er acceptabel,
from the hateful views
fra deres hadefulde synspunkter
who's expressing those views.
som udtrykker disse synspunkter.
as afraid of people they don't know
er ligeså bange for folk, de ikke kender,
I started inviting myself for coffee.
begyndte at invitere mig selv på kaffe.
a specific theme keeps coming up.
kommer der et særligt tema op.
I'm talking to a humanist or a racist,
jeg taler med en humanist eller en racist,
are to blame for the hate
have to stop demonizing.
skal stoppe dæmoniseringen.
the media, their neighbor
medier, deres nabo
who stops 10 meters away.
som stopper 10 meter væk.
any power or influence --
havde magt eller indflydelse...
of the Danish parliament.
medlem af folketinget.
at virkeligheden er anderledes.
and influence where we are,
indflydelse der, hvor vi er,
vort eget potentiale.
have taught me
har lært mig,
can be caught demonizing
kan tages i at dæmonisere
different population groups.
anderledes befolkningsgrupper.
were very extreme.
synspunkt meget ekstremt.
with Danes, with Jews and with racists
danskere, jøde og racister
against my own prejudices.
imod mine egne fordomme.
who have insisted on speaking to me.
som har insisteret på at tale med mig.
citizen and a bridge builder.
demokrat, borger og brobygger.
people as possible
så mange som muligt -
ved hjælp af debat
that doesn't demonize people.
en dialog, der ikke dæmoniserer folk.
you get home and in the coming days,
når I kommer hjem og de kommende dage,
no one else will know it.
der er ingen, der lytter.
President Trump are deplorables?
tilhængere er sørgelige?
President Erdoğan are crazy Islamists?
præsiden Erdoğan er sindssyge islamister?
in France are stupid fascists?
i Frankrig er dumme fascister?
who voted for Bernie Sanders
der stemte på Bernie Sanders
to vilify those groups.
til at bagvaske de grupper.
do you think I am an idealist?
at jeg er en idealist?
someone who you demonize --
invitere en, du dæmoniserer,
politically and/or culturally
politisk og/eller kulturelt
anything in common with.
har noget tilfælles med.
like this to #dialoguecoffee.
sådan en til #dialogkaffe.
to find an Ingolf in your life,
om at finde en Ingolf i dit liv,
for #dialoguecofee.
mødes til #dialogkaffe.
you have to remember this:
en #dialogkaffe, skal du huske:
if the person refuses at first.
hvis personen ikke vil.
to arrange a #dialoguecoffee meeting.
et år at arrangere et #dialogkaffe-møde.
into their home is just as brave.
er lige så modig.
focuses on what you have in common.
fokuserer på, hvad I har til fælles.
the conversation in a positive way
at slutte samtalen positivt,
hold definitive and often extreme opinions
har definitive og ekstreme meninger
on the other side than in our own bases.
hos de andre end hos vore egne.
who think like us
som tænker ligesom os
in a category of disdain.
who are discriminating
to challenge their opinions.
for at udfordre deres meninger.
societies break down --
demokratiske samfund nedbrydes,
responsibility for the democracy.
ansvar for demokratiet.
thing in a democracy
sværeste i et demokrati
between people, yes,
the bridges that cross the trenches.
bygge broer over skyttegravene.
in a terror attack
under et terrorangreb
i København i 2015.
by kindness between people.
overvindes ved hjælp af venlighed.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Özlem Cekic - Bridge builder, authorBorn in Turkey with Kurdish roots, Özlem Sara Cekic was one of the first women with a Muslim immigrant background to be elected to the Danish Parliament, where she served from 2007 to 2015.
Why you should listen
During her time as a member of Folketing, the Danish Parliament, Özlem Cekic's inbox was inundated with hate mail and threats. She first responded by deleting the emails, but then she started replying and inviting those who had sent her abusive messages to meet and engage in dialogue. She calls it #dialoguecoffee, as the meetings generally happen over coffee, and usually at the home of the person who wrote the message. She has met neo-Nazis, racists and religious extremists as she works to try to understand the origin of the hate, find a common language and develop a toolkit for building bridges.
Özlem Cekic | Speaker | TED.com