Özlem Cekic: Why I have coffee with people who send me hate mail
Born in Turkey with Kurdish roots, Özlem Sara Cekic was one of the first women with a Muslim immigrant background to be elected to the Danish Parliament, where she served from 2007 to 2015. Full bio
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and personal abuse
that we might meet for coffee and a chat.
that I want to share with you.
when I was a young child.
in the Danish parliament
with a minority background.
that not everyone was happy about it
to finding hate messages in my inbox.
with something like this:
doing in our parliament?"
and I had nothing in common.
in the parliament said
it will give the police a lead."
"When something happens" and not "if."
were also sent to my home address.
in public debate,
to protect my family.
Muslim women on the street.
and the phone was ringing constantly.
he hate you so much, Mom,
that was a pretty clever answer.
most of us would give.
and they are the bad guys, period.
I was at a friend's house,
about all the hate and racism I had met.
that I should call them up
of the Danish Parliament," he said.
you would become a martyr."
where I had saved all the hate mail.
with words like "terrorist,"
who had sent me the most.
so I could say at least I had tried.
You have sent me so many hate mails.
and we can drink a coffee together
we met at his house.
when he opened his front door
nothing like I'd imagined.
identical to the one my parents used.
for two and a half hours.
that when he waits for the bus
of having so much in common
such clearly racist views.
of those who had sent me hate mails
of what I call #dialoguecoffee.
the most terrible things to me
why they hate people like me
the last eight years.
I approach agree to meet me.
to always meet them in their house
that I trust them.
because when we eat together,
what we have in common
some valuable lessons.
hate mails are workers,
their behavior is acceptable,
from the hateful views
who's expressing those views.
as afraid of people they don't know
I started inviting myself for coffee.
a specific theme keeps coming up.
I'm talking to a humanist or a racist,
are to blame for the hate
have to stop demonizing.
the media, their neighbor
who stops 10 meters away.
any power or influence --
of the Danish parliament.
and influence where we are,
have taught me
can be caught demonizing
different population groups.
were very extreme.
with Danes, with Jews and with racists
against my own prejudices.
who have insisted on speaking to me.
citizen and a bridge builder.
people as possible
that doesn't demonize people.
you get home and in the coming days,
no one else will know it.
President Trump are deplorables?
President Erdoğan are crazy Islamists?
in France are stupid fascists?
who voted for Bernie Sanders
to vilify those groups.
do you think I am an idealist?
someone who you demonize --
politically and/or culturally
anything in common with.
like this to #dialoguecoffee.
to find an Ingolf in your life,
for #dialoguecofee.
you have to remember this:
if the person refuses at first.
to arrange a #dialoguecoffee meeting.
into their home is just as brave.
focuses on what you have in common.
the conversation in a positive way
hold definitive and often extreme opinions
on the other side than in our own bases.
who think like us
in a category of disdain.
who are discriminating
to challenge their opinions.
societies break down --
responsibility for the democracy.
thing in a democracy
between people, yes,
the bridges that cross the trenches.
in a terror attack
by kindness between people.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Özlem Cekic - Bridge builder, authorBorn in Turkey with Kurdish roots, Özlem Sara Cekic was one of the first women with a Muslim immigrant background to be elected to the Danish Parliament, where she served from 2007 to 2015.
Why you should listen
During her time as a member of Folketing, the Danish Parliament, Özlem Cekic's inbox was inundated with hate mail and threats. She first responded by deleting the emails, but then she started replying and inviting those who had sent her abusive messages to meet and engage in dialogue. She calls it #dialoguecoffee, as the meetings generally happen over coffee, and usually at the home of the person who wrote the message. She has met neo-Nazis, racists and religious extremists as she works to try to understand the origin of the hate, find a common language and develop a toolkit for building bridges.
Özlem Cekic | Speaker | TED.com