Özlem Cekic: Why I have coffee with people who send me hate mail
오즈렘 세킥(Özlem Cekic): 혐오 편지를 보내는 사람들과 커피를 마시는 이유
Born in Turkey with Kurdish roots, Özlem Sara Cekic was one of the first women with a Muslim immigrant background to be elected to the Danish Parliament, where she served from 2007 to 2015. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
and personal abuse
저를 향한 비난으로 가득 차 있습니다.
답장을 하기 시작했습니다.
that we might meet for coffee and a chat.
얘길 해보는 게 어떻겠냐고 했죠.
that I want to share with you.
여러분과 나누고자 합니다.
쿠르드인 부모님 아래 태어나,
when I was a young child.
in the Danish parliament
국회의원 선거에 출마했는데
with a minority background.
여성 후보가 흔치 않을 때였죠.
that not everyone was happy about it
제 당선을 반기진 않았죠.
to finding hate messages in my inbox.
쌓이는 일에 익숙해져야 했어요.
with something like this:
doing in our parliament?"
터번쟁이를 위한 자리는 없어."
and I had nothing in common.
어떤 공통점도 없다고 생각했거든요.
in the parliament said
it will give the police a lead."
경찰도 단서가 필요하잖아요."
"When something happens" and not "if."
were also sent to my home address.
혐오 편지가 오기도 했어요.
in public debate,
자주 모습을 보이면 보일수록
횟수도 점차 늘어났죠.
to protect my family.
더 신경을 쓰기 시작했죠.
저를 괴롭히기 시작했어요.
Muslim women on the street.
습격했던 사람이었죠.
사태는 점점 더 심각해졌어요.
and the phone was ringing constantly.
핸드폰이 계속 울리더군요.
느낌이 들었죠.
he hate you so much, Mom,
"왜 그 사람은 엄마를 그렇게 미워해?"
that was a pretty clever answer.
생각했어요.
most of us would give.
비슷한 답을 할 거라 생각해요.
and they are the bad guys, period.
I was at a friend's house,
about all the hate and racism I had met.
매우 화가 난 상태였죠.
that I should call them up
만나보란 조언을 해줬어요.
of the Danish Parliament," he said.
공격하지야 않겠지."
you would become a martyr."
하더라고요.
where I had saved all the hate mail.
with words like "terrorist,"
who had sent me the most.
가장 많이 보낸 사람을 골랐죠.
so I could say at least I had tried.
You have sent me so many hate mails.
저한테 혐오 이메일을 보내신 분이죠?
그 얘길 나눌 수 있을까요?"
and we can drink a coffee together
we met at his house.
그 사람 집에서 만났어요.
when he opened his front door
저한테 악수를 청하던 순간을
nothing like I'd imagined.
더럽고 지저분한 집을 상상했거든요.
identical to the one my parents used.
커피 세트를 사용하더라고요.
for two and a half hours.
두 시간 반이나 머물렀죠.
that when he waits for the bus
10m 밖에 서면
생각했다고 했죠.
10m 밖에 서면
인종차별주의자라고 생각했었죠.
인골프가 정말 맘에 들었죠.
of having so much in common
시선을 가진 사람과 제가
such clearly racist views.
사실을 받아들일 수 없었죠.
of those who had sent me hate mails
사람들이 제게 가진 편견 만큼이나
of what I call #dialoguecoffee.
시작이었어요.
사람들과 커피를 마시면서
the most terrible things to me
why they hate people like me
왜 저와 비슷한 사람들을
노력하는 자리죠.
the last eight years.
이 일을 해왔어요.
I approach agree to meet me.
대부분은 저를 만나줘요.
to always meet them in their house
집에서 그들을 만나려고 했어요.
that I trust them.
because when we eat together,
what we have in common
좋은 분위기를 유지할 수도 있거든요.
some valuable lessons.
저는 귀중한 교훈을 얻을 수 있었죠.
hate mails are workers,
보낸 사람들 또한 근로자이고
their behavior is acceptable,
정당화하려는 건 아닙니다.
from the hateful views
시선에서 한 걸음 떨어져서
who's expressing those views.
자체에 집중하는 법을 배웠죠.
as afraid of people they don't know
그들에 대해서 두려워했던 것처럼
I started inviting myself for coffee.
사람들을 두려워했을 뿐이란 거였죠.
a specific theme keeps coming up.
계속 같은 주제가 떠올랐죠.
I'm talking to a humanist or a racist,
인도주의자든 인종차별주의자든
are to blame for the hate
have to stop demonizing.
혐오를 멈춰야 한다고 했어요.
the media, their neighbor
who stops 10 meters away.
기사 탓이라고 했죠.
any power or influence --
없다고 믿었으니까요.
of the Danish parliament.
됐을 때 조차요.
그게 사실이 아니란 걸 알죠.
and influence where we are,
힘과 영향력을 지니고 있습니다.
과소평가해선 안 돼요.
have taught me
can be caught demonizing
다양한 시선에서
different population groups.
다른 인종을 싫어했었어요.
were very extreme.
훨씬 극단적이었죠.
with Danes, with Jews and with racists
인종차별주의자와 우정을 쌓으면서
against my own prejudices.
who have insisted on speaking to me.
나누길 원하는 많은 사람들을 만났어요.
citizen and a bridge builder.
사람들 사이에 다리를 놓게 했죠.
people as possible
최대한 긴 시간 동안
that doesn't demonize people.
대화를 통해서만 이뤄질 수 있죠.
you get home and in the coming days,
그리고 앞으로 살아가면서도요.
no one else will know it.
다른 사람한텐 비밀로 해도 돼요.
President Trump are deplorables?
끔찍하다고 생각하시나요?
President Erdoğan are crazy Islamists?
사람들은 모두 정신나간 이슬람일까요?
in France are stupid fascists?
무지한 파시즘 신봉자들인가요?
who voted for Bernie Sanders
버니 샌더스를 뽑은 사람들을
to vilify those groups.
비방하는 데 사용되었습니다.
do you think I am an idealist?
생각하시나요?
someone who you demonize --
집으로 초대해 보세요.
politically and/or culturally
여러분과 맞지 않고
anything in common with.
없을 거 같은 사람으로요.
like this to #dialoguecoffee.
'#커피대화'를 해보세요.
to find an Ingolf in your life,
찾아보라고 말씀드리는 거예요.
for #dialoguecofee.
하겠느냐고 물어보세요.
you have to remember this:
이걸 명심하세요.
if the person refuses at first.
포기하지마세요.
to arrange a #dialoguecoffee meeting.
이루기까지 거의 1년이 걸렸어요.
into their home is just as brave.
그 사람도 당신만큼이나 용감하죠.
함부로 판단하지 마세요.
focuses on what you have in common.
초점을 맞추세요.
the conversation in a positive way
대화를 마무리지으세요.
hold definitive and often extreme opinions
상대에 대해 잘 알지도 못하면서
고수하고는 합니다.
on the other side than in our own bases.
편견을 더 잘 알아채죠.
우리 삶에서 차단합니다.
who think like us
생각하는 사람이랑만 어울리고
in a category of disdain.
경멸의 대상으로 취급해요.
who are discriminating
to challenge their opinions.
계속 대화를 이어나가려고 하지 않죠.
societies break down --
개인의 책임을 다하지 않을 때
responsibility for the democracy.
thing in a democracy
가장 어려운 문제입니다.
between people, yes,
깊은 골이 있죠. 맞아요.
the bridges that cross the trenches.
그 위로 다리를 지을 능력이 있습니다.
마무리를 지을게요.
in a terror attack
테러 공격에서 아들인 단 우잔을 잃은
이야기하는 걸 거부하고
by kindness between people.
친절로만 무찌를 수 있습니다."
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Özlem Cekic - Bridge builder, authorBorn in Turkey with Kurdish roots, Özlem Sara Cekic was one of the first women with a Muslim immigrant background to be elected to the Danish Parliament, where she served from 2007 to 2015.
Why you should listen
During her time as a member of Folketing, the Danish Parliament, Özlem Cekic's inbox was inundated with hate mail and threats. She first responded by deleting the emails, but then she started replying and inviting those who had sent her abusive messages to meet and engage in dialogue. She calls it #dialoguecoffee, as the meetings generally happen over coffee, and usually at the home of the person who wrote the message. She has met neo-Nazis, racists and religious extremists as she works to try to understand the origin of the hate, find a common language and develop a toolkit for building bridges.
Özlem Cekic | Speaker | TED.com