TEDWomen 2010
Tony Porter: A call to men
Tony Porter: Gizonentzako deia
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TedWomen-en, Tony Porter-ek herri guztietako gizonentzako deia egiten du, hots "gizonarena ez egitea". Bere bizitzaren istorio hunkigarrien bitartez, erakusten du gizonei eta umeei sartutako pentsamolde horrek emakumeen kontrako bortizkeria, gehiegizko erabilera eta errespetu falta eragin zituela. Bere irtenbidea: "gizontasun kit"-etik askatzea.
Tony Porter - Author, educator, activist
Tony Porter is an educator and activist who is internationally recognized for his effort to end violence against women. Full bio
Tony Porter is an educator and activist who is internationally recognized for his effort to end violence against women. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:15
I grew up in New York City,
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New York-en hazi nintzen
00:18
between Harlem and the Bronx.
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Harlem eta Bronx auzoen artean.
00:20
Growing up as a boy, we were taught
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Mutil izanda, irakatsi ziguten
00:22
that men had to be tough, had to be strong,
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gizonok gogor eta indartsu
00:24
had to be courageous, dominating --
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ausart eta menderatzaile
izan behar genuela,
izan behar genuela,
00:27
no pain, no emotions,
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minik gabe, emoziorik gabe
00:29
with the exception of anger --
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amorrua izan ezik,
00:31
and definitely no fear;
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eta, batez ere, beldurrik gabe;
00:33
that men are in charge,
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Gizonok agintzen dugula,
00:35
which means women are not;
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hots, emakumeek ez.
Gizonok bideratzen dugula
00:37
that men lead,
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00:39
and you should just follow and do what we say;
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eta, guk esaten duguna egin behar duzuela.
00:42
that men are superior; women are inferior;
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Gizonok goi-mailakoak garela;
emakumeak, behe-mailakoak.
emakumeak, behe-mailakoak.
00:45
that men are strong; women are weak;
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Gizonok indartsuak garela; emakumeak ahulak.
00:48
that women are of less value,
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Emakumeek gutxiago balio dutela,
00:51
property of men,
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eta gizonon jabetza direla,
00:53
and objects,
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objektuak;
00:55
particularly sexual objects.
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batez ere, sexu-objektuak.
00:58
I've later come to know that to be
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Geroago konturatu nintzen
01:01
the collective socialization of men,
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gizonon talde-sozializazioa dela hori,
01:04
better known
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edo "gizontasun kit"-a.
01:06
as the "man box."
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01:08
See this man box has in it
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Kit horrek
01:10
all the ingredients
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gizon bat definitzen duten
osagai guztiak dauzka.
osagai guztiak dauzka.
01:12
of how we define what it means to be a man.
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01:14
Now I also want to say, without a doubt,
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Hau ere esan nahi dut, dudarik gabe:
01:16
there are some wonderful, wonderful,
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badagoela zerbait miresgarria,
01:18
absolutely wonderful things
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benetan miresgarria,
01:20
about being a man.
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gizon izatean.
01:22
But at the same time,
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Baina aldi berean
01:24
there's some stuff
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badaude euren onetik atera diren
gauza batzuk
gauza batzuk
01:26
that's just straight up twisted,
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eta benetan berriro hasi behar dugu
arazoari aurre egiten
arazoari aurre egiten
01:28
and we really need to begin
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01:30
to challenge, look at it
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01:32
and really get in the process
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eta benetan ailegatzea
berreraikitzera, berdefinitzera,
berreraikitzera, berdefinitzera,
01:34
of deconstructing, redefining,
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01:37
what we come to know as manhood.
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gizontasunari buruz daukagun ideia.
01:41
This is my two at home, Kendall and Jay.
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Nire seme-alabak: Kendall eta Jay.
01:43
They're 11 and 12.
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11 eta 12 urte.
01:45
Kendall's 15 months older than Jay.
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Kendall Jay baino 15 hilabete
helduagoa da.
helduagoa da.
01:47
There was a period of time when my wife -- her name is Tammie -- and I,
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Garai hartan emaztea, Tammie,
eta biok oso lanpeturik geunden
eta biok oso lanpeturik geunden
01:50
we just got real busy and whip, bam, boom:
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bata dela eta bestea dela
eta bat-batean:
eta bat-batean:
01:52
Kendall and Jay.
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Kendall eta Jay.
01:54
(Laughter)
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(Algarak)
01:56
And when they were about five and six,
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Eta 5-6 urte zutenean,
01:58
four and five,
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4 eta 5,
02:00
Jay could come to me,
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Jay niregana hurbiltzen zen,
02:02
come to me crying.
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negar zotinka.
Negarren arrazoia ez zen garrantzi handikoa,
02:04
It didn't matter what she was crying about,
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02:06
she could get on my knee, she could snot my sleeve up,
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nire belaunean eseri
eta mauka mukiz bete ahal zidan,
eta mauka mukiz bete ahal zidan,
02:08
just cry, cry it out.
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egin negar lasai.
02:10
Daddy's got you. That's all that's important.
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Aita hemen dago. Ez kezkatu.
02:13
Now Kendall on the other hand --
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Kendallek beste aldetik,
02:15
and like I said, he's only 15 months older than her --
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aipatu bezala,
15 hilabete gehiago besterik ez,
15 hilabete gehiago besterik ez,
02:18
he'd come to me crying,
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negar zotinka ere bai,
02:20
it's like as soon as I would hear him cry,
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eta negar egiten entzun bezain pronto
02:22
a clock would go off.
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barruko kronometroa martxan jartzen zidan.
02:24
I would give the boy probably about 30 seconds,
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Mutilari, agian, 30 segundu ematen nizkion,
02:27
which means, by the time he got to me,
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niregana hurbiltzen zenerako
02:30
I was already saying things like, "Why are you crying?
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horrelako zerbait esaten nion:
"Zergatik negarrez?
"Zergatik negarrez?
02:32
Hold your head up. Look at me.
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Altxa ezazu burua. Begiratu.
02:35
Explain to me what's wrong.
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Azaldu zein den arazoa.
02:37
Tell me what's wrong. I can't understand you.
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Zein den arazoa. Ezin zaitut ulertu.
02:39
Why are you crying?"
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Zergatik ari zara negarrez?"
02:41
And out of my own frustration
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Nire frustrazioaren gatibu,
02:43
of my role and responsibility
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nire rolaren eta bera gizon bihurtzeko
erantzukizunaren gatibu,
erantzukizunaren gatibu,
02:45
of building him up as a man
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02:47
to fit into these guidelines
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arau hauetan egokitzeko
02:49
and these structures that are defining this man box,
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eta estruktura hauetan
non gizona izatea argi definitzen den
non gizona izatea argi definitzen den
02:52
I would find myself saying things like,
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honelakoak esaten nizkion:
02:54
"Just go in your room.
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"Zoaz zure gelara.
02:56
Just go on, go on in your room.
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Han egon, zure gelan bertan.
02:58
Sit down,
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Eseri zaitez
03:00
get yourself together
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agortu arte,
03:02
and come back and talk to me
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eta gero etor zaitez
03:04
when you can talk to me like a --" what?
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prest zaudenean hitz egiteko, noren gisa" ....
03:06
(Audience: Man.)
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(Entzuleria: Gizonen gisa)
03:08
Like a man.
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Gizonen gisa.
03:10
And he's five years old.
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Eta 5 urte besterik ez zituen.
03:12
And as I grow in life,
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Urteak pasa ahala
03:14
I would say to myself,
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nire buruari galdetu nion
03:16
"My God, what's wrong with me?
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"Jainko maitea, zer gertatzen zait?
03:18
What am I doing? Why would I do this?"
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Zer egiten ari naiz?
Zergatik egiten dut hau?"
Zergatik egiten dut hau?"
03:21
And I think back.
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Eta gogoratu nuen.
03:23
I think back to my father.
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Nire aita gogoratu nuen.
03:26
There was a time in my life
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Nire bizitzaren garai batean,
03:28
where we had a very troubled experience in our family.
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oso esperientzia traumatikoa
jasan genuen familian.
jasan genuen familian.
03:31
My brother, Henry, he died tragically
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Nire anaia Henry tragikoki hil egin zen
03:33
when we were teenagers.
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nerabeak ginenean.
03:35
We lived in New York City, as I said.
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New Yorken bizi ginen, aipatu bezala.
03:37
We lived in the Bronx at the time,
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Garai hartan, Bronxen bizi ginen
03:40
and the burial was in a place called Long Island,
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eta ehorzketa Long Island-en izan zen,
03:43
it was about two hours outside of the city.
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2 ordu inguruko distantziara.
03:46
And as we were preparing
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Eta prestatzen ari ginen bitartean
03:48
to come back from the burial,
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ehorzketatik bueltatzeko
03:50
the cars stopped at the bathroom
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kotxe guztiak komunetan gelditu ziren
03:52
to let folks take care of themselves
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pertsonak komunera joan ahal izateko
03:54
before the long ride back to the city.
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itzuli-bide luzea hasi baino lehen.
03:56
And the limousine empties out.
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Limusina hutsik geratu zen.
03:58
My mother, my sister, my auntie, they all get out,
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Ama, arreba, izeko,
guztiak jaitsi ziren.
guztiak jaitsi ziren.
04:00
but my father and I stayed in the limousine,
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Nire aita eta biok izan ezik.
04:03
and no sooner than the women got out,
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Eta emakumeak jaitsi bezain pronto
04:06
he burst out crying.
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nire aita negar egiten hasi zen.
04:09
He didn't want cry in front of me,
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Ez zuen nire aurrean negar egin nahi.
04:11
but he knew he wasn't going to make it back to the city,
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Baina bazekien ezingo zuela eutsi
hirira iritsi arte
hirira iritsi arte
04:14
and it was better me than to allow himself
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eta hobe zela nire aurrean egitea
04:16
to express these feelings and emotions in front of the women.
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emozio eta sentimendu horiek
emakumeen aurrean erakustea baino.
emakumeen aurrean erakustea baino.
04:19
And this is a man
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Eta gizon horrek
04:21
who, 10 minutes ago,
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10 minutu lehenago
04:23
had just put his teenage son
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bere seme gaztetxoa
04:25
in the ground --
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lurperatu zuen;
04:27
something I just can't even imagine.
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horrelako zerbait imaginatzea
ezinezkoa da niretzat.
ezinezkoa da niretzat.
04:32
The thing that sticks with me the most
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Hunkitu ninduen gauza bitxiena
04:34
is that he was apologizing to me
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bere aitzakiak izan ziren
nire aurrean negar egiteagatik.
04:37
for crying in front of me,
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04:39
and at the same time, he was also giving me props,
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Eta, aldi berean, zorionak eman zizkidan,
04:42
lifting me up,
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nire jarrera goretsi zuen,
04:44
for not crying.
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negar ez egiteagatik.
04:46
I come to also look at this
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Orain ulertu dut
04:49
as this fear that we have as men,
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gizonok daukagun beldur hori,
04:51
this fear that just has us paralyzed,
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gelditu egin gaituen ikara,
04:53
holding us hostage
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bahitu egin gintuen beldurra
04:55
to this man box.
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gizontasun-kit horretatik.
04:57
I can remember speaking
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Behin hitz egin nuen
04:59
to a 12-year-old boy, a football player,
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12 urteko mutil batekin,
futbol jokalaria,
futbol jokalaria,
05:01
and I asked him, I said,
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eta zera galdetu nion:
05:03
"How would you feel if,
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"Nola sentituko zinateke
05:05
in front of all the players,
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taldearen aurrean
05:07
your coach told you you were playing like a girl?"
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entrenatzaileak esango balizu
neska baten antzera jolastu duzula?"
neska baten antzera jolastu duzula?"
05:10
Now I expected him to say something like,
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Nik pentsatu nuen esango zidala
05:12
I'd be sad; I'd be mad; I'd be angry, or something like that.
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triste, goibel edo haserre sentituko zela.
05:14
No, the boy said to me --
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Ez, umeak esan zidan ...
05:16
the boy said to me,
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umeak esan zidan:
05:18
"It would destroy me."
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"Horrek suntsituko ninduke".
05:21
And I said to myself,
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Eta nire baitan pentsatu nuen:
05:24
"God, if it would destroy him
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"Jainko maitea,
neska deitzeak suntsituko balu
neska deitzeak suntsituko balu
05:26
to be called a girl,
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05:28
what are we then teaching him
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zer irakasten ari gatzaio
05:31
about girls?"
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neskei buruz?"
05:34
(Applause)
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(Txaloak)
05:38
It took me back to a time
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Eta horrek gogorarazten dit
05:40
when I was about 12 years old.
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12 urte nituen garaia.
05:43
I grew up in tenement buildings in the inner city.
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Hiri-nukleo txiroko
etxebizitza xume batean hazi nintzen.
etxebizitza xume batean hazi nintzen.
05:46
At this time we're living in the Bronx,
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Garai hartan Bronxen bizi ginen.
05:48
and in the building next to where I lived there was a guy named Johnny.
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Eta gure etxe ondoko eraikuntzan
Johnny izeneko mutil bat zegoen.
Johnny izeneko mutil bat zegoen.
05:51
He was about 16 years old,
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16 urte inguru zituen,
05:53
and we were all about 12 years old -- younger guys.
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eta guk 12 urte genituen,
gazteagoak.
gazteagoak.
05:55
And he was hanging out with all us younger guys.
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Eta bera gurekin ateratzen zen.
05:57
And this guy, he was up to a lot of no good.
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Eta gazte horrek
ez zuen gauza onik egiten.
ez zuen gauza onik egiten.
05:59
He was the kind of kid who parents would have to wonder,
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Gurasoek harrituta galdetuko lukete:
06:01
"What is this 16-year-old boy doing with these 12-year-old boys?"
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"Zer egiten du 16 urteko mutilak
12 urtekoekin?"
12 urtekoekin?"
06:04
And he did spend a lot of time up to no good.
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Denbora dexente eman zuen
ezer onik egin gabe.
ezer onik egin gabe.
06:06
He was a troubled kid.
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Mutil nahasia zen.
06:08
His mother had died from a heroin overdose.
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Bere ama heroina-gaindosi batez hil zen.
06:10
He was being raised by his grandmother.
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Bere amamak hezi zuen.
06:12
His father wasn't on the set.
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Bere aita desagerturik zegoen.
06:14
His grandmother had two jobs.
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Bere amamak 2 lanpostu zituen.
06:16
He was home alone a lot.
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Askotan egoten zen etxean bakarrik.
06:18
But I've got to tell you, we young guys,
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Baina egia kontatu behar dizuet,
06:20
we looked up to this dude, man.
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gainerakook mutil hori miresten genuen.
06:22
He was cool. He was fine.
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Apartekoa zen.
Bikaina.
06:25
That's what the sisters said, "He was fine."
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Hori zioten gure arrebek: "Bikaina da".
06:28
He was having sex.
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Sexu-harremanak zituen.
06:30
We all looked up to him.
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Benetan miresten genuen.
06:32
So one day, I'm out in front of the house doing something --
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Egun batean,
bere etxe azpian nengoen zerbait egiten
bere etxe azpian nengoen zerbait egiten
06:34
just playing around, doing something -- I don't know what.
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jolasten, edo.
06:37
He looks out his window; he calls me upstairs; he said, "Hey Anthony."
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Leihotik begiratu zuen
eta igotzeko esan zidan:
eta igotzeko esan zidan:
06:39
They called me Anthony growing up as a kid.
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"Kaixo Anthony".
Txikitan hala deitzen zidaten.
Txikitan hala deitzen zidaten.
06:41
"Hey Anthony, come on upstairs."
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"Kaixo Anthony. Etor zaitez gora".
06:43
Johnny call, you go.
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Johnnyk deitu, eta hara gindoazen.
06:45
So I run right upstairs.
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Eskailerak korrika igo nuen.
06:47
As he opens the door, he says to me, "Do you want some?"
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Eta atea zabaltzean esan zidan:
"Nahi al duzu?"
"Nahi al duzu?"
06:50
Now I immediately knew what he meant.
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Eta bat-batean konturatu nintzen
zertaz ari zen.
zertaz ari zen.
06:52
Because for me growing up at that time,
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Garai hartan niretzat
06:54
and our relationship with this man box,
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gizontasun-giro horrekin erlazionaturik
06:56
"Do you want some?" meant one of two things:
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"nahi" hitzak bi esanahi posible zituen:
06:58
sex or drugs --
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sexua edo droga;
07:00
and we weren't doing drugs.
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eta ez geunden drogatan sartuta.
07:02
Now my box, my card,
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Nire kit-a, nire gizontasun-egiaztagiria
07:04
my man box card,
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berehalako arriskuan zegoen.
07:06
was immediately in jeopardy.
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07:08
Two things: One, I never had sex.
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Bi gauza:
bata, ez nuen inoiz sexu-harremanik izan.
07:11
We don't talk about that as men.
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Baina gizon batek ez du inoiz hori esaten.
07:13
You only tell your dearest, closest friend, sworn to secrecy for life,
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Lagun maiteari, gertukoari kontatzen zaio,
isileko juramentuan,
isileko juramentuan,
07:16
the first time you had sex.
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sexu-harremanak
izan zituen lehenengo aldia.
izan zituen lehenengo aldia.
07:18
For everybody else, we go around like we've been having sex since we were two.
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Gainerakoentzat,
bazirudien 2 urtetatik aurrera izan genituela.
bazirudien 2 urtetatik aurrera izan genituela.
07:21
There ain't no first time.
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Ez zegoen lehenengo aldirik.
07:23
(Laughter)
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(Algarak)
07:26
The other thing I couldn't tell him is that I didn't want any.
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Kontatu ezin nion beste gauza:
nik ez nuen nahi.
nik ez nuen nahi.
07:28
That's even worse. We're supposed to always be on the prowl.
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Hori txarragoa zen.
Antza denez, beti prest geunden.
Antza denez, beti prest geunden.
07:31
Women are objects,
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Emakumeak objektuak dira,
batez ere, objektu sexualak.
batez ere, objektu sexualak.
07:33
especially sexual objects.
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07:35
Anyway, so I couldn't tell him any of that.
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Dena den, ezin nion hori esan.
07:37
So, like my mother would say, make a long story short,
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Beraz, amak zioenez,
istorioa laburtzeko,
istorioa laburtzeko,
07:39
I just simply said to Johnny, "Yes."
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"bai" esan nion Johnnyri.
07:41
He told me to go in his room.
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Bere gelara sartzeko eskatu zidan.
07:43
I go in his room. On his bed is a girl from the neighborhood named Sheila.
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Logelan sartu nintzen.
Ohean auzoko neska bat zegoen, Sheila.
Ohean auzoko neska bat zegoen, Sheila.
07:46
She's 16 years old.
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16 urte zituen.
07:48
She's nude.
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Biluzik zegoen.
07:50
She's what I know today to be mentally ill,
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Buruko gaixoa zen;
07:52
higher-functioning at times than others.
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batzuetan besteetan baino zuhurragoa.
07:55
We had a whole choice of inappropriate names for her.
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Berarentzat izen desegoki asko geneuzkan.
07:59
Anyway, Johnny had just gotten through having sex with her.
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Dena den, Johnnyk arestian
sexu-harremanak izan zituen berarekin.
sexu-harremanak izan zituen berarekin.
08:02
Well actually, he raped her, but he would say he had sex with her.
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Beno, bortxatu egin zuen
baina berak sexu-harreman deitzen zion.
baina berak sexu-harreman deitzen zion.
08:05
Because, while Sheila never said no,
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Zeren Sheilak ez zuen inoiz ezetz esan,
08:08
she also never said yes.
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ezta baietz ere.
08:10
So he was offering me the opportunity to do the same.
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Horregatik eskaini zidan
gauza bera egiteko aukera.
gauza bera egiteko aukera.
08:12
So when I go in the room, I close the door.
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Gelara sartu nintzenean, atea itxi nuen.
08:15
Folks, I'm petrified.
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Aizue, estonatuta nengoen.
08:17
I stand with my back to the door so Johnny can't bust in the room
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Bizkarra atearen kontra,
Johnny gelara ez sartzeko
Johnny gelara ez sartzeko
08:19
and see that I'm not doing anything,
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eta ez ikusteko
ez nintzela ezer egiten ari.
ez nintzela ezer egiten ari.
08:21
and I stand there long enough that I could have actually done something.
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Denbora dexente eman nuen,
balizko ekintza gerta zedin.
balizko ekintza gerta zedin.
08:24
So now I'm no longer trying to figure out what I'm going to do;
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Ezin nuen pentsatu zer egin
08:26
I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to get out of this room.
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gela hartatik nola atera baino ez.
08:29
So in my 12 years of wisdom,
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Orduan nire 12 urteko jakituriarekin
08:31
I zip my pants down,
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prakaren kremailera jaitsi nuen
eta gelatik irten nintzen.
eta gelatik irten nintzen.
08:33
I walk out into the room,
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08:35
and lo and behold to me,
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Eta nire harridurarako,
08:37
while I was in the room with Sheila,
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ni Sheilarekin egon nintzen bitartean,
08:39
Johnny was back at the window calling guys up.
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Johnny leihora bueltatu zen
eta lagunak deitzen ari zen.
eta lagunak deitzen ari zen.
08:42
So now there's a living room full of guys.
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Hots, orain egongela beterik zegoen.
08:44
It was like the waiting room in the doctor's office.
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Medikuareneko itxaron-gela zirudien.
08:47
And they asked me how was it,
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Eta iritzia galdetu zidaten.
08:49
and I say to them, "It was good,"
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Eta nik erantzun nien "Ondo".
08:52
and I zip my pants up in front of them,
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Eta kremailera igo nuen euren aurrean
08:54
and I head for the door.
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eta handik atera nintzen.
08:56
Now I say this all with remorse,
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Orain alhaduraz esaten dut hau,
08:58
and I was feeling a tremendous amount of remorse at that time,
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eta garai hartan
kristoren alhadura sentitu nuen,
kristoren alhadura sentitu nuen,
09:00
but I was conflicted, because, while I was feeling remorse, I was excited,
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baina larrituta nengoen,
alhadura sentitu arren, hunkitu nintzelako
alhadura sentitu arren, hunkitu nintzelako
09:03
because I didn't get caught.
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haiek konturatu ez zirelako;
09:05
But I knew I felt bad about what was happening.
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baina banekien txarto sentitu nintzela.
09:07
This fear, getting outside the man box,
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Gizontasun-arautik irtetzeko beldur horrek
09:10
totally enveloped me.
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guztiz harrapatu ninduen.
09:12
It was way more important to me,
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Askoz inportanteagoak ziren
09:14
about me and my man box card
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nire gizontasun-egiaztagiriak
09:17
than about Sheila
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Sheilarena
09:19
and what was happening to her.
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eta han gertatu zenarena baino.
09:21
See collectively, we as men
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Modu kolektiboan ikusita,
gizon gisa,
gizon gisa,
09:23
are taught to have less value in women,
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emakumeak mespretxatzen irakasten digute,
09:25
to view them as property and the objects of men.
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gizonen jabetza eta objektu gisa ikusten.
09:28
We see that as an equation that equals violence against women.
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Jarrera horrek emakumeen kontrako
indarkeriara eramaten gaitu.
indarkeriara eramaten gaitu.
09:31
We as men, good men,
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Gizon gisa, gizon on gisa,
09:33
the large majority of men,
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gizon gehienok,
09:35
we operate on the foundation
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jarraitzen dugu
09:37
of this whole collective socialization.
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talde-sozializazio hau.
09:39
We kind of see ourselves separate, but we're very much a part of it.
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Banandurik ikusten dugu,
baina arazoaren zati bat gara.
baina arazoaren zati bat gara.
09:42
You see, we have to come to understand
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Ulertu behar dugu
mespretxatzea, jabetza
eta gauza bihurtzea euskarri direla
eta gauza bihurtzea euskarri direla
09:45
that less value, property and objectification is the foundation
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09:48
and the violence can't happen without it.
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eta hori gabe
indarkeria ezin dela gertatu.
indarkeria ezin dela gertatu.
09:50
So we're very much a part of the solution
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Beraz, irtenbidearen zati bat gara
09:53
as well as the problem.
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baita arazoarena ere.
09:55
The center for disease control says
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Gaixotasunen Kontrolen Zentroak dio
09:57
that men's violence against women is at epidemic proportions,
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gizonen indarkeria emakumeen kontra
jada epidemikoa dela;
jada epidemikoa dela;
10:00
is the number one health concern for women
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emakumeen osasun-arazo printzipalena da,
10:02
in this country and abroad.
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hemen zein atzerrian.
10:04
So quickly, I'd like to just say,
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Amaitzeko, gustatuko litzaidake esatea
10:07
this is the love of my life, my daughter Jay.
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nire alaba Jay
nire bizitzaren maitasuna dela.
nire bizitzaren maitasuna dela.
10:10
The world I envision for her --
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Berarentzat imaginatzen dudan munduan,
10:12
how do I want men to be acting and behaving?
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nola gustatuko litzaidake
gizonak portatzea?
gizonak portatzea?
10:14
I need you on board. I need you with me.
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Barruan behar zaitut, nirekin.
10:16
I need you working with me and me working with you
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Lanean behar zaitut nirekin eta ni zurekin
10:19
on how we raise our sons
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semeen hezkuntzan
10:21
and teach them to be men --
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benetako gizon bihurtzeko.
10:23
that it's okay to not be dominating,
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Ez-menderatzilea izatea ondo dagoela,
10:25
that it's okay to have feelings and emotions,
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sentimendu eta emozioak izatea,
10:28
that it's okay to promote equality,
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berdintasuna bultzatzea ondo dagoela,
10:30
that it's okay to have women who are just friends and that's it,
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emakumezko lagunak izatea ondo dagoela,
10:33
that it's okay to be whole,
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zintzoa izatea ondo dagoela,
10:35
that my liberation as a man
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gizonaren askatzea
10:38
is tied to your liberation as a woman. (Applause)
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emakumearen askatzeari lotuta dagoela.
10:41
I remember asking a nine-year-old boy,
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Behin galdetu nion
9 urteko mutil bati:
9 urteko mutil bati:
10:44
I asked a nine-year-old boy,
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10:47
"What would life be like for you,
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"Zer izango litzateke bizitza zuretzat
10:49
if you didn't have to adhere to this man box?"
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gizontasun-arau horri lotuko ez bazina?"
10:51
He said to me, "I would be free."
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Eta esan zidan: "Aske izango nintzateke."
10:53
Thank you folks.
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Mila esker guztioi.
10:55
(Applause)
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(Txaloak)
Reviewed by Maider Lizoain Cotanda
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Tony Porter - Author, educator, activistTony Porter is an educator and activist who is internationally recognized for his effort to end violence against women.
Why you should listen
Tony Porter is an author, educator and activist working to advance social justice issues. As the co-founder of A CALL TO MEN, Tony is internationally recognized for his efforts to prevent violence against women while promoting a healthy, respectful manhood. Tony’s 2010 TED Talk has been named by GQ Magazine as one of the “Top 10 TED Talks Every Man Should See.”
Tony is an adviser to the National Football League, National Basketball Association, National Hockey League and Major League Baseball, providing policy consultation, working extensively with player engagement, and facilitating violence prevention and healthy manhood training.
He is an international lecturer for the U.S. State Department, having extensive global experience to include Brazil, India and Africa, and has been a guest presenter to the United Nations Commission on the Status of Women. Tony has worked with the United States Military Academy at West Point and the United States Naval Academy at Annapolis.
He is sought after for his in-depth understanding of the collective socialization of men, and has served as a script consultant for the Emmy Award-winning television series “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.”
Tony is the author of Breaking Out of the Man Box and the visionary for NFL Dads: Dedicated to Daughters.
Tony Porter | Speaker | TED.com