TED2013
Eleanor Longden: The voices in my head
Eleanor Longden: Nire buruko ahotsak
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Itxuraz, Eleanor Longden beste edozein ikasle bezalakoa zen, pozik hasi zen unibertsitatean beste inolako kezkarik gabe. Hori horrela izan zen bere buruko ahotsak hitz egiten hasi ziren arte. Hasieran ez ziren kaltegarriak, baina bere barneko narratzaile haiek gero eta antagonista eta diktatorialagoak ziren, azkenean bere bizitza amesgaizto bat bihurtu zen arte. Eskizofrenia diagnostikatuarekin, drogaturik eta nola lagundu ez zekien sistema batetik at, Longdenek buruko osasuna berreskuratu arte egin zuen ibilbidearen istorio hunkigarria kontatzen du. Aipatzen duenez, ahotsak entzuten ikasiaz lortu zuen bizirautea.
Eleanor Longden - Research psychologist
Eleanor Longden overcame her diagnosis of schizophrenia to earn a master’s in psychology and demonstrate that the voices in her head were “a sane reaction to insane circumstances.” Full bio
Eleanor Longden overcame her diagnosis of schizophrenia to earn a master’s in psychology and demonstrate that the voices in her head were “a sane reaction to insane circumstances.” Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
Unibertsitatera joateko etxetik atera nintzen
00:12
The day I left home for the first time
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00:14
to go to university was a bright day
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lehen eguna, egun argia zen,
00:16
brimming with hope and optimism.
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baikortasunez eta esperantzaz betea.
00:19
I'd done well at school. Expectations for me were high,
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Eskolan ongi ibilitakoa nintzen. Itxaropen altua zegoen niregan,
eta pozik hasi nintzen ikasle bizitzarekin, klaseetan
00:22
and I gleefully entered the student life
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00:24
of lectures, parties and traffic cone theft.
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festetan eta trafikoko kono lapurretan.
00:28
Now appearances, of course, can be deceptive,
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Baina itxura, noski, engainagarria izan daiteke,
00:30
and to an extent, this feisty, energetic persona
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eta neurri batean, pertsona gogotsu hau,
00:34
of lecture-going and traffic cone stealing was a veneer,
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klaseetara joaten zena eta trafikoko konoak lapurtzen zituena,
00:37
albeit a very well-crafted and convincing one.
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estaldura besterik ez zen, ongi egindakoa eta konbentzitzen duena izan arren.
00:40
Underneath, I was actually deeply unhappy, insecure
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Azpian, ni oso zoritxarrekoa nintzen, dudaz betea,
00:43
and fundamentally frightened --
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eta batez ere izutua -
beste pertsonez, etorkizunaz, porrotaz eta
00:45
frightened of other people, of the future, of failure
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00:49
and of the emptiness that I felt was within me.
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barruan sentitzen nuen hutsuneaz beldurtua.
00:51
But I was skilled at hiding it, and from the outside
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Baina oso ongi ezkutatzen nuen eta kanpotik
00:54
appeared to be someone with everything to hope for
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esperantza eta aspirazio guztiak zituen
00:56
and aspire to.
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norbait nirudien.
00:57
This fantasy of invulnerability was so complete
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Eta indartsua izatearen fantasia hori hain zen erabatekoa
01:01
that I even deceived myself,
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ni ere engainatu ninduela,
01:02
and as the first semester ended and the second began,
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eta lehen sehilekoa bukatu eta bigarrena hastear
01:05
there was no way that anyone could have predicted
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zegoela, ez zegoen modurik inork gertatuko
01:07
what was just about to happen.
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zena aurreikusteko.
01:10
I was leaving a seminar when it started,
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Mintegi batetik ateratzen ari nintzen hasi zenean,
ahopeka abesten, poltsarekin jolasean
01:13
humming to myself, fumbling with my bag
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01:15
just as I'd done a hundred times before,
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nindoala aurretik ehundaka aldiz egin nuen bezala,
01:18
when suddenly I heard a voice calmly observe,
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bat-batean ahots bat entzun nuen lasaitasunez esanez,
01:20
"She is leaving the room."
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"Bera gelatik ateratzen ari da."
01:23
I looked around, and there was no one there,
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Ingurura begiratu, eta han ez zegoen inor,
01:24
but the clarity and decisiveness of the comment
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baina komentarioaren argitasunagatik eta sendotasunagatik
01:27
was unmistakable.
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ezin zitekeen akats bat izan.
01:28
Shaken, I left my books on the stairs and hurried home,
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Aztoratuta, nire liburuak eskaileratan utzi eta etxera
01:31
and there it was again.
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alde egin nuen, baina han zegoen berriz.
01:32
"She is opening the door."
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"Bera atea irekitzen ari da"
01:34
This was the beginning. The voice had arrived.
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Hau hasiera izan zen. Ahotsa iritsi zen.
Eta ahotsak jarraitu egin zuen,
01:38
And the voice persisted,
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egunak eta asteak, behin eta berriz,
01:41
days and then weeks of it, on and on,
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egiten nuen guztia hirugarren pertsonan kontatzen.
01:43
narrating everything I did in the third person.
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"Bera liburutegira doa."
01:45
"She is going to the library."
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"Bera klasera doa"
01:47
"She is going to a lecture."
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Neutrala zen, ez zuen ezer egiten, eta denbora pasa ahala
01:49
It was neutral, impassive and even, after a while,
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bitxiki lagungarri eta lasaigarria,
01:52
strangely companionate and reassuring,
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nahiz eta batzutan kanpo lasaitasun horrek ihes egiten ziola nabaritu nuen.
01:54
although I did notice that its calm exterior sometimes slipped
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01:58
and that it occasionally mirrored my own unexpressed emotion.
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Batzutan, nik espresatzen enituen emozioak deskribatzen zituen.
02:01
So, for example, if I was angry and had to hide it,
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Beraz, adibidez, ni haserre nengoela, askotan egiten nuen bezala
02:04
which I often did, being very adept at concealing how I really felt,
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ezkutatu egin behar banuen, sentitzen nuena ezkutatzeko joera bainuen,
02:07
then the voice would sound frustrated.
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orduan ahotsak frustratuta zirudien.
02:09
Otherwise, it was neither sinister nor disturbing,
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Bestela, inoiz ez zen maltzur edo kezkagarria,
02:12
although even at that point it was clear
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momentu horretan argi zegoen arren,
02:14
that it had something to communicate to me
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nire emozioei buruz zerbait esateko zuela,
02:16
about my emotions, particularly emotions
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batez ere emozio horiek
02:19
which were remote and inaccessible.
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urrunak eta eskuragaitzak baziren.
02:22
Now it was then that I made a fatal mistake,
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Orduan akats ikaragarria egin nuen,
02:25
in that I told a friend about the voice, and she was horrified.
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ahotsarena lagun bati aipatu nionean, ikaratuta zegoen.
02:28
A subtle conditioning process had begun,
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Ezkutuko prozesu bat martxan jarri zen,
02:30
the implication that normal people don't hear voices
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pertsona normalek ahotsik entzuten ez zutela jakitea
02:34
and the fact that I did meant that something was very seriously wrong.
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eta zerbait oso gaizki zebilela konturatzea.
Halako beldur eta errezeloa kutsakorra zen.
02:37
Such fear and mistrust was infectious.
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Bat-batean ahotsak ez zirudien hain ona,
02:41
Suddenly the voice didn't seem quite so benign anymore,
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eta lagunak medikuarenera joateko behin eta berriz esan zidanean,
02:44
and when she insisted that I seek medical attention,
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behar bezala onartu nuen, baina hau nire
02:46
I duly complied, and which proved to be
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02:48
mistake number two.
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bigarren akatsa izan zen.
02:50
I spent some time telling the college G.P.
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Unibertsitateko familia medikuari
02:52
about what I perceived to be the real problem:
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arazoari buruz pentsatzen nuena esaten ibili nintzen:
02:54
anxiety, low self-worth, fears about the future,
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antsietatea, autoestimu baxua, etorkizunari beldurra,
02:57
and was met with bored indifference
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eta indiferentziazko jarrera izan zuen
02:59
until I mentioned the voice,
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ahotsa aipatu nuen arte,
03:01
upon which he dropped his pen, swung round
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boligrafoa erori zitzaion, bueltaka hasi zen eta
03:03
and began to question me with a show of real interest.
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egiazko interesarekin galderak egiten hasi zen.
03:06
And to be fair, I was desperate for interest and help,
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Eta egia esan behar badut, interesa eta laguntza bila nenbilen desesperatuta,
03:08
and I began to tell him about my strange commentator.
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eta nuen narratzaile arraroaz hitz egin nion.
03:11
And I always wish, at this point, the voice had said,
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Eta beti nahi izan dut, momentu horretan, ahotsak esan izan balu,
03:13
"She is digging her own grave."
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"Bere hilobia zulatzen ari da"
03:15
I was referred to a psychiatrist, who likewise
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Psikiatra batengana bidali ninduten, eta era berean
03:19
took a grim view of the voice's presence,
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ahotsaren presentzia begirada ilun batekin hartu zuen,
03:21
subsequently interpreting everything I said
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ondoren esaten nuen guztia erokeria
03:23
through a lens of latent insanity.
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izango balitz bezala hartuz.
03:26
For example, I was part of a student TV station
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Adibidez, nik ikasleen TV kate bateko kide nintzen,
03:29
that broadcast news bulletins around the campus,
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eta campusean berriak ematen genituen,
03:31
and during an appointment which was running very late,
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eta berandutzen ari zen kontsulta batean,
03:33
I said, "I'm sorry, doctor, I've got to go.
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esan nion, "Barkatu, baina joan beharra dut.
03:35
I'm reading the news at six."
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Seitan berriak irakurri behar ditut."
03:36
Now it's down on my medical records that Eleanor
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Orain, nire historia klinikoan jartzen duenez,
03:38
has delusions that she's a television news broadcaster.
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Eleanorrek telebista berriemaile izateari buruzko aluzinazioak ditu.
03:42
It was at this point that events began
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Momentu horretan, gertaerek
03:45
to rapidly overtake me.
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oso azkar gainditu ninduten.
03:47
A hospital admission followed, the first of many,
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Ospitaleratze bat, lehena askoren artean,
03:50
a diagnosis of schizophrenia came next,
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eskizofrenia diagnostikoa ondoren,
03:53
and then, worst of all, a toxic, tormenting sense
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eta azkenik, denetan okerrena, nire buruari
03:56
of hopelessness, humiliation and despair
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eta nire etorkizunari buruzko sentsazio toxiko eta kezkagarria,
04:00
about myself and my prospects.
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humilazioz eta desesperazioz betea.
04:02
But having been encouraged to see the voice
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Baina ahotsa esperientzia gisa ikusi beharrean,
04:05
not as an experience but as a symptom,
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sintoma moduan ikustera animatu ninduten,
04:07
my fear and resistance towards it intensified.
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eta hari nion beldurra eta erresistentzia handitu egin ziren.
04:10
Now essentially, this represented taking
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Oinarrian, nire buruaren aurkako jarrera
04:12
an aggressive stance towards my own mind,
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erasokorra edukitzea esan nahi zuen,
04:14
a kind of psychic civil war,
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nolabaiteko gerra zibil psikikoa,
04:17
and in turn this caused the number of voices to increase
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eta ondorioz ahots kopurua handitu egin zen,
04:20
and grow progressively hostile and menacing.
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eta mehatxuak gero eta handiagoak ziren.
04:23
Helplessly and hopelessly, I began to retreat
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Ezintasunez eta esperantzarik gabe, amesgaiztoko
04:27
into this nightmarish inner world
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barne mundu horretara erretiratu nintzen,
04:29
in which the voices were destined to become
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eta ahotsak nire jarraitzaile
04:31
both my persecutors and my only perceived companions.
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eta bidelagun izatera behartuta nengoen.
04:35
They told me, for example, that if I proved myself worthy
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Adibidez esaten zidaten, beraien laguntza hartzeko
04:38
of their help, then they could change my life
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duintasunik banuen, beraiek nire bizitza lehen
04:40
back to how it had been,
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zen bezalakoa izatera bueltatzen lagunduko zidatela.
04:41
and a series of increasingly bizarre tasks was set,
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Gero eta xelebreagoak ziren betebehar zerrenda jarri zidaten,
04:44
a kind of labor of Hercules.
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Hercules gisako lan batzuk bezala.
04:46
It started off quite small, for example,
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Lan txikiak ziren hasieran, besteak beste
04:48
pull out three strands of hair,
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hiru ile kentzea,
04:50
but gradually it grew more extreme,
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baina gero eta muturrekoagoak bihurtu ziren,
04:51
culminating in commands to harm myself,
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eta nire buruari min egiteko aginduetara iritsi ziren,
04:54
and a particularly dramatic instruction:
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eta bereziki agindu dramatikoa jaso nuen:
04:56
"You see that tutor over there?
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"Ikusten duzu horko irakasle hori?
04:58
You see that glass of water?
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Ikusten duzu ur baso hori?
04:59
Well, you have to go over and pour it over him in front of the other students."
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Irakasleari burutik behera bota behar diozu beste ikasle guztien aurrean"
05:02
Which I actually did, and which needless to say
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Egin egin nuen, eta ez dago esan beharrik ez
05:04
did not endear me to the faculty.
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ninduela fakultatean begiko egin.
05:06
In effect, a vicious cycle of fear, avoidance,
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Ondorioz, beldurrezko, saiheste,
05:10
mistrust and misunderstanding had been established,
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mesfidantza eta gaizki ulertzez beteriko ziklo anker bat hasi zen
05:13
and this was a battle in which I felt powerless
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eta borroka horretan indarrik gabe,
05:15
and incapable of establishing any kind of peace or reconciliation.
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adiskidetzea edo bakea berrezartzeko gaitasunak gabe sentziten nintzen.
05:20
Two years later, and the deterioration was dramatic.
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Bi urte ondoren, hondatzea izugarria zen.
05:23
By now, I had the whole frenzied repertoire:
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Ordurako, eromenezko errepertorio osoa nuen:
05:27
terrifying voices, grotesque visions,
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ahots beldurgarriak, ikuspegi barregarriak,
05:30
bizarre, intractable delusions.
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irudipen xelebre eta sendaezinak.
05:33
My mental health status had been a catalyst
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Nire egoera psikikoa diskriminaziorako,
05:35
for discrimination, verbal abuse,
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ahozko abusurako eta eraso
05:38
and physical and sexual assault,
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fisiko zein sexualerako katalizatzaile izan zen.
05:40
and I'd been told by my psychiatrist,
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Nire psikiatrak esan zidan moduan,
05:42
"Eleanor, you'd be better off with cancer,
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"Eleanor, hobeto zeundeke minbizia bazenu,
05:44
because cancer is easier to cure than schizophrenia."
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eskizofrenia baino errazago sendatzen baita"
05:48
I'd been diagnosed, drugged and discarded,
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Dignostikatu, drogatu eta baztertua izan nintzen,
05:51
and was by now so tormented by the voices
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eta ordurako nire buruko ahotsek hain
05:53
that I attempted to drill a hole in my head
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aztoratuta ninduten, haiek ateratzeko buruan
05:56
in order to get them out.
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zulo bat egiten ere saiatu nintzela.
05:58
Now looking back on the wreckage and despair of those years,
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Orain, urte haietako hondakinei eta desesperazioa begira,
06:02
it seems to me now as if someone died in that place,
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iruditzen zait leku hartan norbait hil zela, eta
06:06
and yet, someone else was saved.
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oraindik, beste norbait salbatu zela.
06:09
A broken and haunted person began that journey,
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Hautsitako eta sorgindutako pertsona batek hasi zuen ibilbide hura,
06:13
but the person who emerged was a survivor
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eta handik sortu zen pertsona bizirik, aurrera jarraitzen duen
06:16
and would ultimately grow into the person
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pertsona da, eta azkenean hasieran izan behar
06:18
I was destined to be.
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zuen pertsona da.
06:20
Many people have harmed me in my life,
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Pertsona askok mindu naute bizitzan,
06:23
and I remember them all,
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eta denak gogoratzen ditut,
06:24
but the memories grow pale and faint
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baina pentsamendu horiek ahulak dira
06:27
in comparison with the people who've helped me.
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lagundu didaten pertsona guztienekin alderatuz.
06:31
The fellow survivors, the fellow voice-hearers,
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Horrelakotik atera diren lagunak, ahots entzule lagunak,
06:33
the comrades and collaborators;
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adiskideak eta lankideak;
06:35
the mother who never gave up on me,
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inoiz etsi ez zuen ama,
06:38
who knew that one day I would come back to her
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bazekiena egun batean berarengana itzuliko nintzela,
06:40
and was willing to wait for me for as long as it took;
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eta irrikaz itxarongo zidana behar bezain beste;
06:44
the doctor who only worked with me for a brief time
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denbora laburrez nirekin lan egin zuen medikua,
06:47
but who reinforced his belief that recovery
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errekuperazioa posiblea izateaz gain,
06:49
was not only possible but inevitable,
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sahiestezina zela pentsatu zuen hura.
06:51
and during a devastating period of relapse
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Berriz gaixotu nintzen hartan nire familiari
06:53
told my terrified family, "Don't give up hope.
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honakoa esan ziona, " Ez etsi. Uste dut
06:56
I believe that Eleanor can get through this.
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Eleanor honetatik aterako dela.
06:59
Sometimes, you know, it snows as late as May,
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Batzutan, badakizue, Maiatzan elurra egiten duela,
07:02
but summer always comes eventually."
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baina uda beti etortzen da azkenean."
07:06
Fourteen minutes is not enough time
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Hamalau minutu ez dira nahikoak
07:07
to fully credit those good and generous people
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nirekin eta niregatik borrokatu zuten pertsona
07:10
who fought with me and for me
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eskuzabal eta on guztiei behar bezalako merezimendua
07:12
and who waited to welcome me back
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onartzeko, agoniaz eta bakardadez betetako
07:14
from that agonized, lonely place.
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leku hartatik itzultzeko zain egon zirenei merezimendua onartzeko.
07:17
But together, they forged a blend of courage,
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Baina denen artean, adorezko babes bat osatu zuten,
07:19
creativity, integrity, and an unshakeable belief
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sormenez, osotasunez eta zorroztasunez beteriko sinesmena zuten,
07:22
that my shattered self could become healed and whole.
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sendatuko nintzenaren erabateko sinesmena.
07:26
I used to say that these people saved me,
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Pertsona horiek salbatzen lagundu zidatela esan ohi nuen,
07:28
but what I now know is they did something
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baina orain badakit zerbait askoz
07:30
even more important in that they empowered me
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garrantzitsuagoa egin zutela, indarra eman zidaten
07:32
to save myself,
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neroni sendatzeko,
07:34
and crucially, they helped me to understand something
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eta batez ere, beti susmatu izan nuen zerbait
07:36
which I'd always suspected:
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ulertzen lagundu zidaten:
07:38
that my voices were a meaningful response
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nire ahotsak bizitutako gertaera traumatikoei
07:40
to traumatic life events, particularly childhood events,
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erantzun bat ziren, esanahiz beteriko erantzunak, bereziki
07:43
and as such were not my enemies
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haurtzaroko gertaerei eta ez zirela nire etsaiak,
07:45
but a source of insight into solvable emotional problems.
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konpondu zitezkeen arazo emozionalen ikuspegi bat zirela konturatzen lagundu zidaten.
07:50
Now, at first, this was very difficult to believe,
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Hasieran, hau oso zaila zen sinisteko,
07:53
not least because the voices appeared so hostile
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beste gauzen artean ahotsak mehatxuzkoak eta
07:55
and menacing, so in this respect, a vital first step
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etsaitasunezkoak ziruditelako, beraz, oinarrizko
07:59
was learning to separate out a metaphorical meaning
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lehenengo pausoa esanahi metaforikoa hasieran
08:01
from what I'd previously interpreted to be a literal truth.
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egia zehatz bat zela uste nuenetik bereiztea izan zen.
08:05
So for example, voices which threatened to attack my home
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Adibidez, nire etxea erasotzea mehatxatzen zuten ahotsetatik,
08:08
I learned to interpret as my own sense of fear
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interpretatzen ikasi nuen munduarekiko beldurra
08:11
and insecurity in the world, rather than an actual, objective danger.
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eta ziurgabetasuna zirela, benetazko arrisku objektiboa baino.
08:15
Now at first, I would have believed them.
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Hasieran, sinestu egiten nituen.
08:17
I remember, for example, sitting up one night
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Gogoratzen dut, adibidez, nire gurasoen gelako
08:18
on guard outside my parents' room to protect them
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atearen kanpoaldean gauez eserita egotea,
08:21
from what I thought was a genuine threat from the voices.
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egiazkoa zirudien ahotsen mehatxuaz babesteko.
08:24
Because I'd had such a bad problem with self-injury
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Nire buruari min egitearekin halako arazoa nuen,
08:27
that most of the cutlery in the house had been hidden,
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nire etxeko ia tresna guztiak gordeta zeudela,
08:29
so I ended up arming myself with a plastic fork,
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eta azkenean plastikozko sardeska batekin min egiten saiatu nintzen,
08:32
kind of like picnic ware, and sort of sat outside the room
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eta gelaren kanpoaldean eseri nintzen,
08:34
clutching it and waiting to spring into action should anything happen.
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zerbait gertatzeko zain.
08:38
It was like, "Don't mess with me.
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Zera zirudien, " Ez sartu nirekin.
08:40
I've got a plastic fork, don't you know?"
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plastikozko sardeska bat dut!"
08:43
Strategic.
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Estrategikoa.
08:44
But a later response, and much more useful,
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Baino ondoren, erantzun erabilgarriago bat aurkitu nuen,
08:47
would be to try and deconstruct the message behind the words,
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hitzen atzean zegoen mezua aurkitzen saiatzen nintzen,
08:51
so when the voices warned me not to leave the house,
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eta hitzek etxetik ez ateratzeko esaten zidatenean,
08:54
then I would thank them for drawing my attention
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eskertu egiten nuen, nire segurtasun faltaz
08:56
to how unsafe I felt --
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konturatzen bainintzen --
08:57
because if I was aware of it, then I could do something positive about it --
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eta hortaz konturatuz, zer edo zer positiboa egin nezakeen --
09:00
but go on to reassure both them and myself
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aurrera segi eta ziurtatu besteei eta neri
09:03
that we were safe and didn't need to feel frightened anymore.
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seguru geundela eta ez genuela zertan berdurrik eduki.
09:06
I would set boundaries for the voices,
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Ahotsei mugak jartzen nizkien,
09:08
and try to interact with them in a way that was assertive
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eta horiekin ziurtasunez erlazionatzen saiatzen nintzen,
09:10
yet respectful, establishing a slow process
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errespetuz baina, komunikazio eta elkarlan
09:13
of communication and collaboration
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prozesu motel bat martxan jarriz.
09:15
in which we could learn to work together and support one another.
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Biek batera ikasi eta bata bestea laguntzeko gai ginen.
09:18
Throughout all of this, what I would ultimately realize
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Guzti honen bidez azkenean konturatu nintzen
09:21
was that each voice was closely related
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ahots bakoitza nire buruaren aspektu ezberdinekin
09:23
to aspects of myself, and that each of them
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lotuta zegoela, eta bakoitzak
09:25
carried overwhelming emotions that I'd never had
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prozesatzeko eta konpontzeko aukerarik eduki ez nuen
09:27
an opportunity to process or resolve,
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emozioekin erlazio zuzena zuela,
09:30
memories of sexual trauma and abuse,
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sexu abusu eta erasoen trauma,
09:32
of anger, shame, guilt, low self-worth.
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haserrea, lotsa, errua eta auto estimu baxua.
09:35
The voices took the place of this pain
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Ahotsek minaren lekua hartu zuten eta
09:38
and gave words to it,
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hitzak jarri zizkioten min horri,
09:39
and possibly one of the greatest revelations
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eta horietako aurkikuntza handienetako bat
09:41
was when I realized that the most hostile and aggressive voices
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ahotsik erasokor eta kaltegarrienak gehien
09:44
actually represented the parts of me
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mindutako nire zatien errepresentazioak
09:46
that had been hurt most profoundly,
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zirela konturatzea izan zen.
09:48
and as such, it was these voices
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Eta horrela, ahots horiek zirela
09:50
that needed to be shown the greatest compassion and care.
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zaintza eta gupida gehienak behar zutela.
09:53
It was armed with this knowledge that ultimately
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Eta jakinduria honekin azkenean
09:56
I would gather together my shattered self,
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lur jota egotetik, berriz ere martxan jarri,
09:59
each fragment represented by a different voice,
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arazo bakoitza ahots batek errepresentatuta,
10:01
gradually withdraw from all my medication,
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nire botikak pixkanaka kendu,
10:03
and return to psychiatry, only this time from the other side.
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eta psikiatriara bueltatu nintzen, baina oraingoan beste aldetik.
10:08
Ten years after the voice first came, I finally graduated,
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Ahotsak iritsi eta hamar urtera, azkenean graduatu nintzen,
10:12
this time with the highest degree in psychology
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psikologia ikasketetan unibertsitateak
10:14
the university had ever given, and one year later,
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jarri duen notarik onenarekin, eta urte bat geroago,
10:16
the highest masters, which shall we say
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masterreko onenarekin. Bide batez,
10:18
isn't bad for a madwoman.
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esan dezagun ez dagoela batere gaizki emakume ero batentzat.
10:20
In fact, one of the voices actually dictated the answers
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Egia esan, ahotsetako batek erantzunak diktatu
10:22
during the exam, which technically possibly counts as cheating.
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zizkidan azterketan, beraz teknikoki tranpa egitea dela uste dut.
10:25
(Laughter)
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(Barreak)
10:27
And to be honest, sometimes I quite enjoyed their attention as well.
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Eta zintzoa izateko, batzuetan beraien atentzioa gustatzen zitzaidan.
10:30
As Oscar Wilde has said, the only thing worse
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Oscar Wildek esan zuen moduan, zuri buruz hitz egitea
10:31
than being talked about is not being talked about.
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baino okerragoa da inork ezer ez esatea.
10:34
It also makes you very good at eavesdropping,
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Gainera, oso ondo konpontzen zara ezkutuan entzuten,
10:36
because you can listen to two conversations simultaneously.
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bi elkarrizketa batera entzuteko gai baitzara.
10:39
So it's not all bad.
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Beraz, ez da guztiz txarra.
10:41
I worked in mental health services,
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Osasun mentaleko zerbitzuetan lan egin dut,
10:42
I spoke at conferences,
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hitzaldietan hitz egin dut,
10:45
I published book chapters and academic articles,
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liburu kapituluak eta artikuluak argitaratu ditut,
10:47
and I argued, and continue to do so,
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eta behin eta berriz errepikatzen dut
10:50
the relevance of the following concept:
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ondorengo kontzeptu honen garrantzia:
10:52
that an important question in psychiatry
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psikiatrian galdera garrantzitsua ez da,
10:54
shouldn't be what's wrong with you
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zer gertatzen zaizu, baizik eta
10:56
but rather what's happened to you.
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zer gertatu zaizu.
10:58
And all the while, I listened to my voices,
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Eta bitartean, nire ahotsak entzun nituen,
11:01
with whom I'd finally learned to live with peace and respect
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azkenean horiekin pakean eta errespetuan bizitzen ikasi nuen,
11:04
and which in turn reflected a growing sense
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eta nirekiko gupida, onartze eta errespetu sentsatzio
11:06
of compassion, acceptance and respect towards myself.
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handiagoa erakusten dute.
11:10
And I remember the most moving and extraordinary moment
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Eta gogoratzen dut inoiz bizitu dudan unerik zoragarriena,
11:13
when supporting another young woman who was terrorized by her voices,
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bere ahotsekin erabat izuturik zegoen emakume bati laguntzen,
11:16
and becoming fully aware, for the very first time,
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lehen aldiz konturatu nintzela,
11:19
that I no longer felt that way myself
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neroni ez nengoela izuturik,
11:21
but was finally able to help someone else who was.
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eta beste norbait laguntzeko gai nintzela.
11:25
I'm now very proud to be a part of Intervoice,
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Orain oso harro nago Intervoicen kide izateagatik,
11:29
the organizational body of the International Hearing Voices Movement,
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International Hearing Voices Movement erakundeko kide izateagatik,
11:33
an initiative inspired by the work of Professor Marius Romme
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Marius Romme irakaslearen eta Sandra Escher doktorearean
11:36
and Dr. Sandra Escher,
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lanean onarritutako ekimenaren parte izateagatik.
11:37
which locates voice hearing as a survival strategy,
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Beraiek, ahotsak bizirauteko estrategia direla diote,
11:40
a sane reaction to insane circumstances,
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zentzuzko erreakzio bat zentzuzkoa ez den egoera bati,
11:44
not as an aberrant symptom of schizophrenia to be endured,
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eta ez dira jasan beharreko eskizofreniaren sintoma zentzugabe bat,
11:47
but a complex, significant and meaningful experience
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baizik eta aztertu beharreko esperientzia
11:51
to be explored.
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esanguratsu bat.
11:53
Together, we envisage and enact a society
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Elkarrekin, ahotsak entzutea errespetatu eta
11:55
that understands and respects voice hearing,
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ulertzen duen gizarte bat ikusi eta aldarrikatu nahi dugu,
11:58
supports the needs of individuals who hear voices,
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ahotsak entzuten dituztenen beharrak babesten dituen gizartea,
12:00
and which values them as full citizens.
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eta eskubide guztiak dituzten biztanleak bailiran baloratzen dituena.
12:04
This type of society is not only possible,
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Horrelako gizarte bat ez da posiblea bakarrik,
12:06
it's already on its way.
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dagoeneko badator.
12:08
To paraphrase Chavez, once social change begins,
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Chavez aipatuz, behin aldaketa soziala hasi dela,
12:12
it cannot be reversed.
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ez dago atzera bueltarik.
12:14
You cannot humiliate the person who feels pride.
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Ezin duzu harro sentitzen den pertsona makurrarazi.
12:17
You cannot oppress the people
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Ezin duzu gehiago beldurtzen ez den
12:19
who are not afraid anymore.
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jendea zapaldu.
12:21
For me, the achievements of the Hearing Voices Movement
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Niretzat, Hearing Voices Movement honen
12:24
are a reminder that empathy, fellowship,
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lorpenak dira enpatia, laguntasuna, justizia
12:26
justice and respect are more than words;
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eta errespetua hitzak baino gehiago direla gogoraraztea,
12:29
they are convictions and beliefs,
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usteak eta sinesmenak direla,
12:32
and that beliefs can change the world.
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eta sinesmenak mundua aldatu dezake.
12:34
In the last 20 years, the Hearing Voices Movement
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Azken 20 urteetan, Hearing Voices Movement ekimenak
12:37
has established hearing voices networks
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ahotsak entzuten dituztenen sarea
12:39
in 26 countries across five continents,
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sortu du 26 herrialdetan, bost kontinenteetan zehar,
12:42
working together to promote dignity, solidarity
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duintasuna, elkartasuna eta ahalmena
12:45
and empowerment for individuals in mental distress,
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gaixotasun psikikoa dutenen artean bultzatuz.
12:49
to create a new language and practice of hope,
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Esperantzan oinarritutako hizkuntza bat sortu da,
12:52
which, at its very center, lies an unshakable belief
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eta oinarrian, norbanakoaren
12:56
in the power of the individual.
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indarra aldarrikatzen duena.
12:59
As Peter Levine has said, the human animal
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Peter Levinek esan duen moduan, gizakia
13:02
is a unique being
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izaki bakarra da,
13:03
endowed with an instinctual capacity to heal
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sendatzeko berezko gaitasuna duena
13:07
and the intellectual spirit to harness this innate capacity.
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eta jaiotzetiko gaitasun hori baliatzeko espiritu intelektuala duena.
13:11
In this respect, for members of society,
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Alderdi honetatik, gizarteko kideentzat,
13:13
there is no greater honor or privilege
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ez dago norbaiten sendatze prozesua erraztea,
13:16
than facilitating that process of healing for someone,
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begirale egotea,
13:18
to bear witness, to reach out a hand,
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laguntzea, sufritzen ari den norbaiten
13:21
to share the burden of someone's suffering,
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zama eramatea eta osatzearen esperantza
13:24
and to hold the hope for their recovery.
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edukitzea baino pribilegio edo ohore handiagorik.
13:27
And likewise, for survivors of distress and adversity,
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Era berean, larrialdiak eta zailtasunak pasa ditugunontzat,
13:29
that we remember we don't have to live our lives
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esan nahi dut ez dugula gure bizitza bizitu behar
13:32
forever defined by the damaging things that have happened to us.
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betirako gertatu zaizkigun gauzen mende.
13:36
We are unique. We are irreplaceable.
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Bakarrak gara. Ordezka ezinak.
13:38
What lies within us can never be truly colonized,
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Gure barnean dagoena ezin da kolonizatu,
13:41
contorted, or taken away.
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kendu edo eraman.
13:43
The light never goes out.
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Argia ez da inoiz itzaltzen.
13:47
As a very wonderful doctor once said to me,
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Mediku zoragarri batek behin esan zidan bezala,
13:49
"Don't tell me what other people have told you about yourself.
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"Ez esan niri besteek zuri buruz esan dizutena.
13:53
Tell me about you."
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Kontatu edozer zuri buruz."
13:56
Thank you.
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Eskerrik asko.
13:58
(Applause)
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(Txaloak)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Eleanor Longden - Research psychologistEleanor Longden overcame her diagnosis of schizophrenia to earn a master’s in psychology and demonstrate that the voices in her head were “a sane reaction to insane circumstances.”
Why you should listen
Despite what traditional medicine may opine, Eleanor Longden isn’t crazy -- and neither are many other people who hear voices in their heads. In fact, the psychic phenomenon is a “creative and ingenious survival strategy” that should be seen “not as an abstract symptom of illness to be endured, but as complex, significant, and meaningful experience to be explored,” the British psychology researcher says.
Longden spent many years in the psychiatric system before earning a BSc and an MSc in psychology, the highest classifications ever granted by the University of Leeds, England. Today she is studying for her PhD, and lectures and writes about recovery-oriented approaches to psychosis, dissociation and complex trauma.
More profile about the speakerLongden spent many years in the psychiatric system before earning a BSc and an MSc in psychology, the highest classifications ever granted by the University of Leeds, England. Today she is studying for her PhD, and lectures and writes about recovery-oriented approaches to psychosis, dissociation and complex trauma.
Eleanor Longden | Speaker | TED.com