TED2013
Eleanor Longden: The voices in my head
Eleanor Longden: Glasovi u mojoj glavi
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Prema svim namjerama i svrhama, Eleanor Longden bila je kao svaki drugi student, kretala je na studij s glavom u oblacima i bez ijedne brige na svijetu. Tako je bilo dok glasovi u njenoj glavi nisu počeli govoriti. U početku bezazlen, taj unutarnji pripovijedač postajao je sve više protivnički i diktatorski te joj je pretvarao život u noćnu moru. S dijagnosticiranom shizofrenijom, na lijekovima i na kraju zanemarena od strane sustava koji nije znao kako joj pomoći, Longden priča ovu dirljivu priču o svom višegodišnjem putovanju prema mentalnom zdravlju te postavlja tezu da je kroz učenje kako slušati glasove uspjela preživjeti.
Eleanor Longden - Research psychologist
Eleanor Longden overcame her diagnosis of schizophrenia to earn a master’s in psychology and demonstrate that the voices in her head were “a sane reaction to insane circumstances.” Full bio
Eleanor Longden overcame her diagnosis of schizophrenia to earn a master’s in psychology and demonstrate that the voices in her head were “a sane reaction to insane circumstances.” Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
The day I left home for the first time
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Dan kad sam po prvi puta otišla od kuće
00:14
to go to university was a bright day
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na fakultet bio je vedar,
00:16
brimming with hope and optimism.
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prepun nade i optimizma.
00:19
I'd done well at school. Expectations for me were high,
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Bila sam dobra u školi. Očekivanja od mene bila su visoka
00:22
and I gleefully entered the student life
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i razdragano sam ušla studentski život
00:24
of lectures, parties and traffic cone theft.
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predavanja, zabava i krađa prometnih čunjeva.
00:28
Now appearances, of course, can be deceptive,
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Izgled, naravno, može varati
00:30
and to an extent, this feisty, energetic persona
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i u nekoj mjeri ova živahna, energična osoba
00:34
of lecture-going and traffic cone stealing was a veneer,
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koja ide na predavanja i krade prometne čunjeve bila je prozirna
00:37
albeit a very well-crafted and convincing one.
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iako iznimno dobro izrađena i uvjerljiva.
00:40
Underneath, I was actually deeply unhappy, insecure
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Ispod toga, bila sam zapravo duboko nesretna, nesigurna
00:43
and fundamentally frightened --
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i fundametalno prestrašena -
00:45
frightened of other people, of the future, of failure
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prestrašena drugih ljudi, budućnosti, neuspjeha
00:49
and of the emptiness that I felt was within me.
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i ispraznosti koju sam osjećala u sebi.
00:51
But I was skilled at hiding it, and from the outside
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No, bila sam vješta u skrivanju toga i naizvan
00:54
appeared to be someone with everything to hope for
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se činilo da se svemu nadam
00:56
and aspire to.
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i stremim.
00:57
This fantasy of invulnerability was so complete
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Ova fantazija neranjivosti bila je tako potpuna
01:01
that I even deceived myself,
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da sam zavaravala i samu sebe
01:02
and as the first semester ended and the second began,
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da, kako je prvi semestar završavao, a drugi počinjao,
01:05
there was no way that anyone could have predicted
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nije bilo šanse da itko predvidi
01:07
what was just about to happen.
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ono što će se uskoro dogoditi.
01:10
I was leaving a seminar when it started,
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Odlazila sam sa seminara kad je počelo.
01:13
humming to myself, fumbling with my bag
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Pjevušila sam za sebi, preturajući po torbi,
01:15
just as I'd done a hundred times before,
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kao što sam i stotine puta ranije
01:18
when suddenly I heard a voice calmly observe,
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kada sam iznenada začula glas koji je mirno promatrao:
01:20
"She is leaving the room."
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"Ona odlazi iz prostorije."
01:23
I looked around, and there was no one there,
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Pogledala sam uokolo i nije bilo nikoga,
01:24
but the clarity and decisiveness of the comment
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ali jasnoća i odlučnost komentara
01:27
was unmistakable.
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bila je nepogrešiva.
01:28
Shaken, I left my books on the stairs and hurried home,
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Potresena, ostavila sam knjige na stubištu i požurila kući
01:31
and there it was again.
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kad se opet pojavio:
01:32
"She is opening the door."
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"Ona otvara vrata."
01:34
This was the beginning. The voice had arrived.
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To je bio početak. Glas je stigao.
01:38
And the voice persisted,
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I glas je ustrajao,
01:41
days and then weeks of it, on and on,
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dani i tjedni toga, neprestano,
01:43
narrating everything I did in the third person.
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prepričavajući sve što radim u trećem licu.
01:45
"She is going to the library."
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"Ona ide u knjižnicu."
01:47
"She is going to a lecture."
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"Ona ide na predavanje."
01:49
It was neutral, impassive and even, after a while,
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Bio je neutralan, bezosjećajan i nakon nekog vremena
01:52
strangely companionate and reassuring,
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čak neobično suosjećajan i uvjerljiv,
01:54
although I did notice that its calm exterior sometimes slipped
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iako sam primijetila da se njegova mirna vanjština katkad okliznula
01:58
and that it occasionally mirrored my own unexpressed emotion.
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i da je povremeno odražavao moje vlastite neizražene osjećaje.
02:01
So, for example, if I was angry and had to hide it,
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Tako na primjer, kad sam bila ljuta i morala sam to sakriti,
02:04
which I often did, being very adept at concealing how I really felt,
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što je bilo često, bivajući vrlo vješta u prikrivanju pravih osjećaja,
02:07
then the voice would sound frustrated.
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glas bi zvučao frustrirano.
02:09
Otherwise, it was neither sinister nor disturbing,
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Inače nije bio ni zloban ni uznemiravajuć
02:12
although even at that point it was clear
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iako je tad već bilo jasno
02:14
that it had something to communicate to me
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da mi je imao nešto reći
02:16
about my emotions, particularly emotions
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o mojim emocijama, osobito o emocijama
02:19
which were remote and inaccessible.
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koje su bile daleke i nedostupne
02:22
Now it was then that I made a fatal mistake,
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Tada sam učinila fatalnu pogrešku:
02:25
in that I told a friend about the voice, and she was horrified.
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rekla sam prijateljici za glas i ona je bila užasnuta.
02:28
A subtle conditioning process had begun,
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Suptilni proces kondicioniranja je počeo,
02:30
the implication that normal people don't hear voices
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implikacija da normalni ljudi ne čuju glasove
02:34
and the fact that I did meant that something was very seriously wrong.
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i činjenica da sam mislila da nešto ozbiljno nije bilo u redu.
02:37
Such fear and mistrust was infectious.
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Takav strah i nepovjerenje bili su zarazni.
02:41
Suddenly the voice didn't seem quite so benign anymore,
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Odjednom se glas više nije činio tako dobronamjeran
02:44
and when she insisted that I seek medical attention,
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i kad je prijateljica inzistirala da potražim medicinsku pomoć,
02:46
I duly complied, and which proved to be
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pokorila sam se, što je dokazano bila
02:48
mistake number two.
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pogreška broj dva.
02:50
I spent some time telling the college G.P.
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Provela sam neko vrijeme govoreći prijatelju G.P.
02:52
about what I perceived to be the real problem:
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o tome što sam opazila da je pravi problem:
02:54
anxiety, low self-worth, fears about the future,
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anksioznost, nisko samopoštovanje, strahovi o budućnosti,
02:57
and was met with bored indifference
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i bila sam upoznata s dosadnom ravnodušnošću,
02:59
until I mentioned the voice,
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sve dok nisam spomenula glas,
03:01
upon which he dropped his pen, swung round
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našto je on ispustio olovku, promijenio ploču
03:03
and began to question me with a show of real interest.
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i počeo me ispitivati s pokazivanjem stvarnog zanimanja.
03:06
And to be fair, I was desperate for interest and help,
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I da budem iskrena, bila sam očajna za zanimanjem i pomoći
03:08
and I began to tell him about my strange commentator.
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te sam mu počela govoriti o svom neobičnom komentatoru.
03:11
And I always wish, at this point, the voice had said,
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Sada bih voljela da mi je glas tada rekao:
03:13
"She is digging her own grave."
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"Ona kopa vlastiti grob."
03:15
I was referred to a psychiatrist, who likewise
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Upućena sam psihijatru koji je isto tako
03:19
took a grim view of the voice's presence,
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mrko gledao na nazočnost glasa,
03:21
subsequently interpreting everything I said
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interpretirajući sve što kažem
03:23
through a lens of latent insanity.
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kroz prizmu skrivene ludosti.
03:26
For example, I was part of a student TV station
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Naprimjer, bila sam dio studentske televizijske postaje
03:29
that broadcast news bulletins around the campus,
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koja je prenosila vijesti iz kampusa
03:31
and during an appointment which was running very late,
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i tijekom jednog sastanka koji počeo vrlo kasno,
03:33
I said, "I'm sorry, doctor, I've got to go.
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rekla sam: "Oprostite, doktore, moram ići.
03:35
I'm reading the news at six."
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Čitam vijesti u šest."
03:36
Now it's down on my medical records that Eleanor
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Sada u mom medicinskom kartonu piše da Eleanor
03:38
has delusions that she's a television news broadcaster.
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umišlja da je televizijska voditeljica.
03:42
It was at this point that events began
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Tada su me događaji počeli
03:45
to rapidly overtake me.
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ubrzano obuzimati.
03:47
A hospital admission followed, the first of many,
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Uslijedila je hospitalizacija, prva od mnogih,
03:50
a diagnosis of schizophrenia came next,
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zatim dijagnoza shizofrenije,
03:53
and then, worst of all, a toxic, tormenting sense
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a onda, najgore od svega, otrovni osjećaj
03:56
of hopelessness, humiliation and despair
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beznađa koji me mučio, poniženje i očaj
04:00
about myself and my prospects.
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zbog same sebe i mojih izgleda.
04:02
But having been encouraged to see the voice
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Ali kako sam bila poticana da glas ne gledam
04:05
not as an experience but as a symptom,
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kao iskustvo, već kao simptom,
04:07
my fear and resistance towards it intensified.
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moj strah i otpornost prema tome su se pojačavali.
04:10
Now essentially, this represented taking
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U biti, to je značilo
04:12
an aggressive stance towards my own mind,
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zauzeti agresivan stav prema svome umu,
04:14
a kind of psychic civil war,
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neka vrsta psihičkog građanskog rata,
04:17
and in turn this caused the number of voices to increase
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što je rezultiralo povećanjem broja glasova
04:20
and grow progressively hostile and menacing.
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te njihovim progresivnim neprijateljstvom i prijetnjama.
04:23
Helplessly and hopelessly, I began to retreat
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Bespomoćno i beznadno, počela sam se povlačiti
04:27
into this nightmarish inner world
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u taj unutarnji svijet nalik na noćnu moru
04:29
in which the voices were destined to become
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u kojemu je glasovima bilo suđeno da mi budu
04:31
both my persecutors and my only perceived companions.
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i progonitelji i jedini prijatelji.
04:35
They told me, for example, that if I proved myself worthy
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Rekli su mi, naprimjer, da ako dokažem da sam vrijedna
04:38
of their help, then they could change my life
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njihove pomoći, oni mogu moj život vratiti
04:40
back to how it had been,
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na staro.
04:41
and a series of increasingly bizarre tasks was set,
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Zatim mi je zadan niz sve bizarnijih zadataka,
04:44
a kind of labor of Hercules.
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na neki način Heraklov posao.
04:46
It started off quite small, for example,
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Počelo je prilično malo, naprimjer
04:48
pull out three strands of hair,
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iščupati tri vlasi kose,
04:50
but gradually it grew more extreme,
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ali kasnije je postalo sve ekstremnije,
04:51
culminating in commands to harm myself,
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kulminirajući zapovjedima da naudim sama sebi
04:54
and a particularly dramatic instruction:
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te osobitno dramatična uputa:
04:56
"You see that tutor over there?
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"Vidiš svog mentora tamo?
04:58
You see that glass of water?
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Vidiš onu čašu vode?
04:59
Well, you have to go over and pour it over him in front of the other students."
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Pa, moraš otići onamo i izliti je po njemu pred svim ostalim studentima."
05:02
Which I actually did, and which needless to say
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Što sam zapravo i učinila i što me, ne trebam ni napominjati,
05:04
did not endear me to the faculty.
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nije učinilo omiljenom na fakultetu.
05:06
In effect, a vicious cycle of fear, avoidance,
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Ustvari, začarani krug straha, izbjegavanja,
05:10
mistrust and misunderstanding had been established,
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nepovjerenja i nerazumijevanja je stvoren
05:13
and this was a battle in which I felt powerless
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i to je bila borba u kojoj sam se osjećala nemoćno
05:15
and incapable of establishing any kind of peace or reconciliation.
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i nesposobno da stvorim bilo kakav mir ili pomirenje.
05:20
Two years later, and the deterioration was dramatic.
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Dvije godine kasnije i pogoršanje je bilo dramatično.
05:23
By now, I had the whole frenzied repertoire:
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Dotad sam već imala cijeli repertoar ludosti:
05:27
terrifying voices, grotesque visions,
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zastrašujuće glasove, groteskna priviđenja
05:30
bizarre, intractable delusions.
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bizarne, tvrdoglave obmane.
05:33
My mental health status had been a catalyst
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Stanje mog mentalnog zdravlja bilo je katalizator
05:35
for discrimination, verbal abuse,
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za diskriminaciju, verbalno zlostavljanje,
05:38
and physical and sexual assault,
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fizičke i seksualne napade,
05:40
and I'd been told by my psychiatrist,
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a moj psihijatar mi je rekao:
05:42
"Eleanor, you'd be better off with cancer,
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"Eleanor, bolje bi ti bilo da imaš rak
05:44
because cancer is easier to cure than schizophrenia."
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jer se rak lakše liječi nego shizofrenija."
05:48
I'd been diagnosed, drugged and discarded,
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Postavljane su mi dijagnoze, bila sam drogirana i odbačena,
05:51
and was by now so tormented by the voices
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a glasovi su me dosad toliko izmučili
05:53
that I attempted to drill a hole in my head
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da sam pokušala izbušiti rupu u glavi
05:56
in order to get them out.
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da ih se riješim.
05:58
Now looking back on the wreckage and despair of those years,
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Kad sada gledam na brodolom i očaj tih godina,
06:02
it seems to me now as if someone died in that place,
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čini mi se kao da je netko umro na tom mjestu,
06:06
and yet, someone else was saved.
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a ipak, netko drugi je spašen.
06:09
A broken and haunted person began that journey,
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Slomljena i progonjena osoba započela je to putovanje,
06:13
but the person who emerged was a survivor
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ali osoba koja se pojavila bila je borac koji preživljava
06:16
and would ultimately grow into the person
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i na kraju je izrasla u onu osobu
06:18
I was destined to be.
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koja joj je suđeno da bude.
06:20
Many people have harmed me in my life,
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Mnogi su mi ljudi naudili u životu
06:23
and I remember them all,
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i svih ih se sjećam,
06:24
but the memories grow pale and faint
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ali sjećanja blijede i nestaju
06:27
in comparison with the people who've helped me.
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u usporedbi s ljudima koji su mi pomogli.
06:31
The fellow survivors, the fellow voice-hearers,
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Drugi koji su preživjeli, drugi koji čuju glasove,
06:33
the comrades and collaborators;
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prijatelji i suradnici;
06:35
the mother who never gave up on me,
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majka koja nikada nije odustala od mene,
06:38
who knew that one day I would come back to her
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koja je znala da ću joj se jednom vratiti
06:40
and was willing to wait for me for as long as it took;
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i bila je voljna čekati koliko god je bilo potrebno,
06:44
the doctor who only worked with me for a brief time
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liječnik koji je radio sa mnom kratko,
06:47
but who reinforced his belief that recovery
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ali koji je pojačao svoje vjerovanje da izliječenje
06:49
was not only possible but inevitable,
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nije samo moguće, već i neizbježno,
06:51
and during a devastating period of relapse
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i tijekom razarajućeg razdoblja ponovnog pada
06:53
told my terrified family, "Don't give up hope.
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rekao je mojoj prestrašenoj obitelji: "Ne odustajte od nade.
06:56
I believe that Eleanor can get through this.
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Vjerujem da se Eleanor može iz ovoga izvući.
06:59
Sometimes, you know, it snows as late as May,
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Ponekad, znate, sniježi kasno u svibnju,
07:02
but summer always comes eventually."
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ali ljeto ipak dođe."
07:06
Fourteen minutes is not enough time
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Četrnaest minuta nije dovoljno
07:07
to fully credit those good and generous people
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da potpuno zahvalim ovim dobrim i plemenitim ljudima
07:10
who fought with me and for me
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koji su se borili sa mnom i za mene
07:12
and who waited to welcome me back
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i koji su čekali da mi požele dobrodošlicu natrag
07:14
from that agonized, lonely place.
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iz tog agonijama ispunjenog, usamljenog mjesta.
07:17
But together, they forged a blend of courage,
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Ali zajedno, oni su stvorili mješavinu hrabrosti,
07:19
creativity, integrity, and an unshakeable belief
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kreativnosti, integriteta i nepoljuljane vjere
07:22
that my shattered self could become healed and whole.
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da moje oštećeno ja može postati izliječeno i cjelovito.
07:26
I used to say that these people saved me,
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Govorila sam da su me ti ljudi spasili,
07:28
but what I now know is they did something
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ali ono što sad znam jest da su učinili nešto
07:30
even more important in that they empowered me
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puno važnije: osnažili su me
07:32
to save myself,
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da sama sebe spasim,
07:34
and crucially, they helped me to understand something
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i najvažnije, pomogli su mi da shvatim nešto
07:36
which I'd always suspected:
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što sam oduvijek sumnjala:
07:38
that my voices were a meaningful response
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da su glasovi bili smislen odgovor
07:40
to traumatic life events, particularly childhood events,
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na traumatične događaje u mom životu, osobito na događaje iz djetinjstva
07:43
and as such were not my enemies
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te kao takvi oni nisu bili moji neprijatelji,
07:45
but a source of insight into solvable emotional problems.
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već izvor uvida u rješive emocionalne probleme.
07:50
Now, at first, this was very difficult to believe,
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Sad, isprva je to bilo jako teško vjerovati,
07:53
not least because the voices appeared so hostile
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osobito zato što su glasovi bili neprijateljski
07:55
and menacing, so in this respect, a vital first step
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i prijeteći, i zato u tom pogledu vitalan prvi korak
07:59
was learning to separate out a metaphorical meaning
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bio je naučiti razdvojiti metaforičko značenje
08:01
from what I'd previously interpreted to be a literal truth.
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od onoga što sam prije interpretirala kao doslovnu istinu.
08:05
So for example, voices which threatened to attack my home
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Tako sam naprimjer glasove koji su prijetili da će napasti moj dom
08:08
I learned to interpret as my own sense of fear
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naučila interpretirati kao svoj vlastiti osjećaj straha
08:11
and insecurity in the world, rather than an actual, objective danger.
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i nesigurnosti u svijetu, a ne kao stvarnu, objektivnu stvarnost.
08:15
Now at first, I would have believed them.
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Isprva sam im vjerovala.
08:17
I remember, for example, sitting up one night
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Sjećam se, primjerice, kako sam jedne noći sjedila ispred sobe mojih roditelja
08:18
on guard outside my parents' room to protect them
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stražareći kako bih ih zaštitila
08:21
from what I thought was a genuine threat from the voices.
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od onoga što sam smatrala pravom prijetnjom moga glasa.
08:24
Because I'd had such a bad problem with self-injury
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Zbog toga što sam imala problem sa samoozljeđivanjem,
08:27
that most of the cutlery in the house had been hidden,
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većina oštrih predmeta u kući je bila skrivena
08:29
so I ended up arming myself with a plastic fork,
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pa sam se tako naoružala plastičnom vilicom,
08:32
kind of like picnic ware, and sort of sat outside the room
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onakvom kao za piknik, i sjela ispred sobe
08:34
clutching it and waiting to spring into action should anything happen.
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držeći ju i čekajući spremno za akciju ako se išta dogodi.
08:38
It was like, "Don't mess with me.
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Bilo je kao: "Ne zafrkavaj se sa mnom.
08:40
I've got a plastic fork, don't you know?"
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Imam plastičnu vilicu, znaš?"
08:43
Strategic.
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Strateški.
08:44
But a later response, and much more useful,
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Kasniji odgovor, i mnogo korisniji,
08:47
would be to try and deconstruct the message behind the words,
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bio bi da pokušam rastaviti poruku iza riječi
08:51
so when the voices warned me not to leave the house,
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pa tako kad su me glasovi upozoravali da ne napuštam kuću,
08:54
then I would thank them for drawing my attention
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zahvalila bih im što su mi privukli pozornost
08:56
to how unsafe I felt --
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to kako se nesigurno osjećam -
08:57
because if I was aware of it, then I could do something positive about it --
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jer ako sam bila svjesna toga, mogla sam nešto poduzeti -
09:00
but go on to reassure both them and myself
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ali bih nastavila razuvjeravati i njih i sebe
09:03
that we were safe and didn't need to feel frightened anymore.
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da smo sigurni i da se ne trebamo više osjećati uplašeno.
09:06
I would set boundaries for the voices,
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Postavila bih granice glasovima
09:08
and try to interact with them in a way that was assertive
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i pokušala komunicirati s njima na način koji je bio asertivan
09:10
yet respectful, establishing a slow process
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i pun poštovanja, uspostavljajući polagani proces
09:13
of communication and collaboration
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komunikacije i suradnje
09:15
in which we could learn to work together and support one another.
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koji smo mogli naučiti da bismo zajedno funkcionirali i podupirali jedno drugo.
09:18
Throughout all of this, what I would ultimately realize
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Kroz sve ovo, ono što sam na kraju shvatila
09:21
was that each voice was closely related
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jest da je svaki glas bio povezan
09:23
to aspects of myself, and that each of them
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s aspektima mene same, da je svaki
09:25
carried overwhelming emotions that I'd never had
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nosio duboke emocije koje nikada nisam imala
09:27
an opportunity to process or resolve,
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prilike procesuirati i riješiti,
09:30
memories of sexual trauma and abuse,
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sjećanja na seksualne traume i zlostavljanje,
09:32
of anger, shame, guilt, low self-worth.
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na bijes, sram, krivnju, nisko samopoštovanje.
09:35
The voices took the place of this pain
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Glasovi su zauzeli mjesto te boli
09:38
and gave words to it,
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i dali joj riječi,
09:39
and possibly one of the greatest revelations
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i možda najveće otkriće od svih
09:41
was when I realized that the most hostile and aggressive voices
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je bilo kad sam shvatila da su najneprijateljskiji i najagresivniji glasovi
09:44
actually represented the parts of me
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zapravo predstavljali dijelove mene
09:46
that had been hurt most profoundly,
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koji su bili najdublje povrijeđeni
09:48
and as such, it was these voices
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te su kao takvi to bili glasovi
09:50
that needed to be shown the greatest compassion and care.
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prema kojima je trebalo pokazati najviše suosjećanja i brige.
09:53
It was armed with this knowledge that ultimately
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Naoružana znanjem da ću na kraju
09:56
I would gather together my shattered self,
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skupiti rasutu sebe,
09:59
each fragment represented by a different voice,
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svaki dio predstavljen različitim glasom,
10:01
gradually withdraw from all my medication,
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postupno ću se skinuti s lijekova,
10:03
and return to psychiatry, only this time from the other side.
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vratiti se psihijatriji, samo ovoga puta s druge strane.
10:08
Ten years after the voice first came, I finally graduated,
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Deset godina nakon što se prvi glas pojavio konačno sam diplomirala,
10:12
this time with the highest degree in psychology
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ovoga puta s najvišom ocjenom iz psihologije
10:14
the university had ever given, and one year later,
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koje je sveučilište ikada dalo i, godinu dana kasnije,
10:16
the highest masters, which shall we say
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s najvišom ocjenom na magisteriju, što možemo reći
10:18
isn't bad for a madwoman.
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nije loše za jednu luđakinju.
10:20
In fact, one of the voices actually dictated the answers
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Zapravo, jedan od glasova mi je diktirao odgovore
10:22
during the exam, which technically possibly counts as cheating.
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tijekom ispita što bi se tehnički mogli računati kao varanje.
10:25
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
10:27
And to be honest, sometimes I quite enjoyed their attention as well.
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Da budem iskrena, ponekad sam prilično uživala u pažnji također.
10:30
As Oscar Wilde has said, the only thing worse
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Kao što je Oscar Wilde rekao, jedina gora stvar
10:31
than being talked about is not being talked about.
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od toga da budete ogovarani jest da se o vama uopće ne govori.
10:34
It also makes you very good at eavesdropping,
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Također, to vas čini dobrima u prisluškivanju
10:36
because you can listen to two conversations simultaneously.
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jer možete slušati dva razgovora istovremeno.
10:39
So it's not all bad.
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Zato nije to sve tako loše.
10:41
I worked in mental health services,
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Radila sam u centru za mentalnu skrb,
10:42
I spoke at conferences,
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govorila na konferencijama,
10:45
I published book chapters and academic articles,
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objavila poglavlja knjiga i akademske članke,
10:47
and I argued, and continue to do so,
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raspravljala sam i nastavljam raspravljati
10:50
the relevance of the following concept:
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o važnosti sljedećeg koncepta:
10:52
that an important question in psychiatry
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da važno pitanje u psihijatriji
10:54
shouldn't be what's wrong with you
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ne bi trebalo biti što je s tobom loše,
10:56
but rather what's happened to you.
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nego što ti se dogodilo.
10:58
And all the while, I listened to my voices,
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Sve vrijeme sam slušala glasove
11:01
with whom I'd finally learned to live with peace and respect
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kojima sam konačno naučila živjeti u miru i poštivanju,
11:04
and which in turn reflected a growing sense
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što mi se zauzvrat reflektiralo povećanjem osjećaja
11:06
of compassion, acceptance and respect towards myself.
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suosjećanja, prihvaćanja i poštovanja prema samoj sebi.
11:10
And I remember the most moving and extraordinary moment
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Sjećam se najdirljivijeg i najneobičnijeg trenutka,
11:13
when supporting another young woman who was terrorized by her voices,
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dok sam podupirala drugu mladu ženu teroriziranu svojim glasovima,
11:16
and becoming fully aware, for the very first time,
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kada sam postala potpuno svjesna, po prvi puta,
11:19
that I no longer felt that way myself
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da se ja više ne osjećam tako,
11:21
but was finally able to help someone else who was.
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već da sam potpuno sposobna pomoći nekome tko se osjeća tako.
11:25
I'm now very proud to be a part of Intervoice,
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Sada sam ponosni član Intervoice-a (Unutarnji glas),
11:29
the organizational body of the International Hearing Voices Movement,
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organizacijskog tijela Međunarodnog pokreta osoba s unutarnjim glasovima,
11:33
an initiative inspired by the work of Professor Marius Romme
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inicijativa pokrenuta radom profesora Mariusa Rommea
11:36
and Dr. Sandra Escher,
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i doktorice Sandre Escher
11:37
which locates voice hearing as a survival strategy,
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koji nalazi slušanje glasova kao strategiju preživljavanja,
11:40
a sane reaction to insane circumstances,
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zdravu reakciju na nezdrave okolnosti,
11:44
not as an aberrant symptom of schizophrenia to be endured,
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ne kao nenormalni simptom shizofrenije kojeg treba podnositi,
11:47
but a complex, significant and meaningful experience
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nego kao složeno, značajno i smisleno iskustvo
11:51
to be explored.
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koje treba istražiti.
11:53
Together, we envisage and enact a society
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Zajedno smo prosudili i odigrali društvo
11:55
that understands and respects voice hearing,
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koje poštuje slušanje glasova,
11:58
supports the needs of individuals who hear voices,
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podupire potrebe osoba koje čuju glasove,
12:00
and which values them as full citizens.
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što ih čini vrijednima kao građanima.
12:04
This type of society is not only possible,
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Ovakvo društvo nije samo moguće,
12:06
it's already on its way.
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već je i u nastajanju.
12:08
To paraphrase Chavez, once social change begins,
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Da parafraziram Chaveza, jednom kada socijalna promjena započne,
12:12
it cannot be reversed.
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ne može ju se preokrenuti.
12:14
You cannot humiliate the person who feels pride.
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Ne možeš poniziti osobu koja osjeća ponos.
12:17
You cannot oppress the people
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Ne možeš tlačiti narod
12:19
who are not afraid anymore.
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koji se više ne boji.
12:21
For me, the achievements of the Hearing Voices Movement
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Za mene je postignuće Pokreta
12:24
are a reminder that empathy, fellowship,
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podsjetnik da su empatija, prijateljstvo,
12:26
justice and respect are more than words;
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pravda i poštovanje više od riječi;
12:29
they are convictions and beliefs,
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oni su uvjerenja i vjera,
12:32
and that beliefs can change the world.
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a vjera može promijeniti svijet.
12:34
In the last 20 years, the Hearing Voices Movement
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U posljednjih 20 godina, Pokret
12:37
has established hearing voices networks
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je ustanovio mreže osoba s unutarnjim glasovima
12:39
in 26 countries across five continents,
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u 26 zemalja na 5 kontinenata
12:42
working together to promote dignity, solidarity
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koje rade zajedno na promoviranju dostojanstva, solidarnosti
12:45
and empowerment for individuals in mental distress,
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i osnaživanja za pojedince s mentalnim poremećajima
12:49
to create a new language and practice of hope,
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i osnaživanja za pojedince s mentalnim poremećajima
12:52
which, at its very center, lies an unshakable belief
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koja, u samom središtu, leži na nepoljujanoj vjeri
12:56
in the power of the individual.
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u snagu pojedinca.
12:59
As Peter Levine has said, the human animal
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Kao što je Peter Levine rekao, ljudska životinja
13:02
is a unique being
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je jedinstveno biće
13:03
endowed with an instinctual capacity to heal
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s instinktivnom sposobnošću izliječenja
13:07
and the intellectual spirit to harness this innate capacity.
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i intelektualnim duhom da upregne tu sposobnost.
13:11
In this respect, for members of society,
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U tom smislu, za članove društva
13:13
there is no greater honor or privilege
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nema veće časti ili privilegije
13:16
than facilitating that process of healing for someone,
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od olakšavanja tog procesa izliječenja nekoga,
13:18
to bear witness, to reach out a hand,
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svjedočiti, ispružiti ruku,
13:21
to share the burden of someone's suffering,
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podijeliti teret nečije patnje
13:24
and to hold the hope for their recovery.
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i držati se nade u oporavak.
13:27
And likewise, for survivors of distress and adversity,
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Isto tako, za one koji su preživjeli nevolju i nesreću,
13:29
that we remember we don't have to live our lives
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da se sjetimo da ne moramo zauvijek živjeti svoje živote
13:32
forever defined by the damaging things that have happened to us.
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definirani štetnim stvarima koje su nam se dogodile.
13:36
We are unique. We are irreplaceable.
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Mi smo jedinstveni. Mi smo nezamjenjivi.
13:38
What lies within us can never be truly colonized,
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Ono što leži u nama ne može nikada usitinu biti zauzeto,
13:41
contorted, or taken away.
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izobličeno ili uzeto.
13:43
The light never goes out.
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Svjetlo se nikada ne gasi.
13:47
As a very wonderful doctor once said to me,
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Kao što mi jedan predivni doktor jednom rekao:
13:49
"Don't tell me what other people have told you about yourself.
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"Nemoj mi reći ono što su ti drugi ljudi rekli o tebi.
13:53
Tell me about you."
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Pričaj mi o sebi."
13:56
Thank you.
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Hvala vam.
13:58
(Applause)
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(Pljesak)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Eleanor Longden - Research psychologistEleanor Longden overcame her diagnosis of schizophrenia to earn a master’s in psychology and demonstrate that the voices in her head were “a sane reaction to insane circumstances.”
Why you should listen
Despite what traditional medicine may opine, Eleanor Longden isn’t crazy -- and neither are many other people who hear voices in their heads. In fact, the psychic phenomenon is a “creative and ingenious survival strategy” that should be seen “not as an abstract symptom of illness to be endured, but as complex, significant, and meaningful experience to be explored,” the British psychology researcher says.
Longden spent many years in the psychiatric system before earning a BSc and an MSc in psychology, the highest classifications ever granted by the University of Leeds, England. Today she is studying for her PhD, and lectures and writes about recovery-oriented approaches to psychosis, dissociation and complex trauma.
More profile about the speakerLongden spent many years in the psychiatric system before earning a BSc and an MSc in psychology, the highest classifications ever granted by the University of Leeds, England. Today she is studying for her PhD, and lectures and writes about recovery-oriented approaches to psychosis, dissociation and complex trauma.
Eleanor Longden | Speaker | TED.com