Sarah Gray: How my son's short life made a lasting difference
سارا گرەی: چۆن ژیانە کورتەکەی كوڕەکەم جیاوازیەکی درێژخایەنی دروستکرد
Sarah Gray found meaning in tragic loss by donating the organs of her newborn son to advance scientific research. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
went to my second sonogram.
بۆ دووەم سەردانی پزیشکی سۆنەر.
we had a higher risk
the standard birth defects,
ناتەواویە زگماکیە باوەکاندا،
that we were about to face.
کە رووبەرووی ئەبینەوە.
that one of our twins, Thomas,
لە دوانەکە ، تۆماس،
called anencephaly.
بە ناوی نەبوونی مێشک.
was not formed correctly
typically die in utero
لە سکی دایکیا ئەمرێت
or days of being born.
یان چەند ڕۆژێک دوای لەدایکبوون.
as far as the doctor could tell,
how this could have possibly happened,
کە ئەمە بۆ ڕووی داوە،
was not impossible,
for the healthy twin and for me,
من و دوانە تەندروستکەش،
the pregnancy to term.
تا ڕۆژی منداڵبوونەکە بەرین.
with two trimesters ahead of me,
هێشتا شەش مانگم لەپێشەوە مابوو، و
my blood pressure and my stress.
فشاری خوین و دڵە راوکێکەمی پێبکەم،
point a loaded gun at you for six months.
شەش مانگ دەمانچە دەخاتە سەر سەرم.
the barrel of that gun for so long
سەیری ناو لولەکەیم کرد
at the end of the tunnel.
to prevent the tragedy,
ڕێگە لەم تراژیدیایە بگرێت.
for Thomas's brief life
کەمەی تۆماس بدۆزمەوە
eye and tissue donation.
بەخشینی ئەندام، و شانە و چاوەکان.
organ-procurement organization,
دابینکردنی ئەندامەکانی لەش،
Transplant Community.
بۆ چاندنەوەی ئەندامەکان.
at birth to donate for transplant,
بۆ ئەوەی ئەندامەکانی ببەخشرێت و
you could be rejected for that.
a good candidate to donate for research.
ببەخشرێت بۆ توێژینەوە.
to unlock a medical mystery.
نادیاریەکی بواری پزیشکی بکاتەوە.
and they were both born alive.
هەردووکیان زیندوو بوون.
the top part of his skull,
like a normal baby,
ئەندامەکان، کە ڤانێکیان نارد بۆمان و
National Medical Center.
that the recovery was a success,
وتیان کارەکە سەرکەوتو بووە، و
would be going to four different places.
دەبرێن بۆ چوار شوێنی جیا.
to Duke University.
company called Cytonet in Durham.
جینی بەناوی سایتۆنێت لە دەرهام.
to Schepens Eye Research Institute,
چاوی شێبپینز،
to the University of Pennsylvania.
with our immediate family,
بۆی لە ناو خێزانەکەمان،
closed this chapter in our lives.
what's happening now?
ئێستا چی ڕوودەدات؟
to a grief retreat,
بۆ ئەوەی لەڕووی دەروونیەوە یارمەتمیان بەن
15 other grieving families
وەک ئێمە وابوون
organs for transplant.
بەخشیوە بۆ چاندن.
their loved one's organs,
خۆشویستانیان وەرگرتووە،
could even meet each other
دەشیانتوانی یەکتری ببینن
I thought maybe I could write a letter
بتوانم نامەیەک بنوسم
and learn about what happened.
for people who donate for transplant.
بەخشینەکەیان بۆ چاندنەوە بووە.
I had transplant envy, I guess.
ئەوان توانیویانە ئەندامەکان بچێننەوە.
ئەندام فێربووم و
why they requested infant retinas
کۆرپەیەکیان بۆ چی بووە
could visit their lab.
خێزانەکەم سەردانی تاقیگەکەیان کرد.
that arranged the donation,
بەخشینەکەی رێک دەخست،
send it to the right person.
never done this before,
and they would deliver it.
of the University of Pennsylvania.
that she is studying retinoblastoma,
لەسەر ڕێتنۆبلاستۆما کردووە،
under the age of five,
we were invited to visit her lab.
کرابوین بۆ ئەوەی سەردانی تاقیگەکەیان بکەین
imagine how we felt,
ئێمە هەستمان چۆن بووە،
the ultimate sacrifice,
to feel indebted to us.
توێژینوەکەت نییە
and the system chose your study.
ئەوان ئێوەیان هەلبژارد.
bad things happen to children every day,
بەسەر منداڵاندا دێت،
be buried in the ground right now.
a new layer of meaning.
about using this tissue."
کە ئەم شانانە بەکاردەهێنی
for this tissue six years earlier
Research Interchange.
توێژینەوەی نەخۆشی.
that fit her criteria,
پێوەرەکانی ئەوی تێدا بوو، و
to come visit the lab,
سەردانی تاقیگەکە بکەین، و
which was the twins' fifth birthday.
ڕۆژی لە دایک بوونی دوانەکە بوو.
some pictures of Thomas and Callum,
وێنەی تۆماس و کالۆمم بۆ نارد،
we received this T-shirt in the mail.
تیشێرتێکمان بۆ هات.
and I piled in the car
من سواری ئوتومبیل بووین و
not to feel guilty, that it was a relief,
بە تاوان مەکە، دڵم ئاوی خواردووەتەوە، و
from our perspective.
مەسەلەکەی نەکردووە.
had a secret code name.
is called HeLa,
from DC to Philadelphia.
گەیانبدوو بۆ فیلادیلفیا.
is like an heirloom to us now.
وەک مەدالیایەک وایە بۆمان.
or a wedding certificate might be.
بروانامەی هاوسەرگیری وابوو.
Thomas's retina and his RNA
چاوی تۆماس و ئاڕ ئێن ئەیەکەی بەکاردێنن
that causes tumor formation,
دەگۆڕێ و دەبێتە هۆی شێرپەنجەکە،
that were based on RES 360.
ڕیس ٣٦٠یشی نیشانداین.
that she still has
هێشتا مابووی
when she might get more.
کەی هی دیکەی بۆ دێت.
with a birthday gift.
لەدایکبوونیان دا بە کالوم.
simple messages today.
don't think about donating to research.
بیر نەکەینەوە ئەندام بۆ توێژینەوە ببەخشین
I think I'm a normal person.
پێموابێت من کەسێکی ئاساییم.
and I recommend it,
with human tissue
بەشێکی جەستەی مرۆڤ کارتکرد
and about the family,
خێزانەکە پرسیارت هەبوو،
tell them what you're working on,
بڵێ کە کاریان لەسەر دەکەم، و
even more gratifying for you
بۆ تۆ دڵخۆشکەرتر بێت
in arranging one of these visits,
لە ڕێکخستنی ئەم سەردانانەدا،
all four facilities
تۆماسیان پێبەخشرابوو. و
doing inspiring work.
ناسی کە کاری جوانیان دەکرد.
is that Thomas got into Harvard,
هارڤارد دەخوێنێت،
in order to do their job.
brief and insignificant
everlasting and relevant.
هەمیشەیی گرنگ.
can be as relevant.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Sarah Gray - Researchers' dream donatorSarah Gray found meaning in tragic loss by donating the organs of her newborn son to advance scientific research.
Why you should listen
While struggling to cope with the loss of their infant son Thomas, Sarah Gray and her family met the researchers who received his eye, liver and cord blood donations. This journey garnered national and international media attention and brought profound peace to the Gray family.
Gray is the director of marketing and public affairs for the American Association of Tissue Banks and a member of the AATB Donor Family Guidance Document Committee. She is author of a forthcoming memoir from HarperOne, A Life Everlasting: The Extraordinary Story of One Boy's Gift to Medical Science.
Gray holds a BA in Communications from Marquette University and a Masters in Public Communication from American University, where her capstone topic was nondirected kidney donation. She lives in Washington, DC with her husband Ross and children, Callum and Jocelyn.
Sarah Gray | Speaker | TED.com