TED2005
Carmen Agra Deedy: Once upon a time, my mother ...
Carmen Agra Deedy 創作故事
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故事演講者 Carmen Agra Deedy 創作了一個有趣、聰明而明快的故事, 這故事是關於父母及孩子的, 而她古巴籍的媽媽是故事的主角。坐好並享受這過程 - 媽媽將要開車了!
Carmen Agra Deedy - Storyteller
Carmen Agra Deedy's luminous, funny, digressive tales of childhood and adulthood bring out the starry-eyed listener in us all. Full bio
Carmen Agra Deedy's luminous, funny, digressive tales of childhood and adulthood bring out the starry-eyed listener in us all. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:18
When I knew I was going to come to speak to you, I thought,
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當我知道我將要來向你們演講, 我想,
00:24
"I gotta call my mother."
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我要打電話給我媽。
00:26
I have a little Cuban mother -- she's about that big.
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我有一個古巴籍的媽媽 -- 她大概有這麼高。
00:29
Four feet. Nothing larger than the sum of her figurative parts.
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四呎 - 比她象徴的部分也大不了多少。
00:32
You still with me? (Laughter)
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你仍在聽著我嗎? (笑聲)
00:34
I called her up.
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我打電話給她,
00:35
"Hello, how're you doing, baby?"
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"你好, 親愛的, 你好嗎?"
00:37
"Hey, ma, I got to talk to you."
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"媽媽, 我要和你談談。"
00:39
"You're talking to me already. What's the matter?"
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"你已經在跟我談了。什麼事?"
00:41
I said, "I've got to talk to a bunch of nice people."
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我說, "我要對一群很好的人演講。"
00:43
"You're always talking to nice people, except when you went
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"你常常都是對好人演講, 除了你上次去的
00:45
to the White House."
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白宮之外--"
00:46
"Ma, don't start!"
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"媽, 別這様!"
00:50
And I told her I was coming to TED, and she said,
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我告訢她我要來TED, 她說,
00:53
"What's the problem?"
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"有什麼問題?"
00:54
And I said, "Well, I'm not sure."
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而我說,"我不肯定。"
00:56
I said, "I have to talk to them about stories.
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我說,"我要告訴他們一些故事。
01:02
It's 'Technology, Entertainment and Design.'"
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而這個故事要關於科技,娛樂及設計。"
01:06
And she said, "Well, you design a story when you make it up,
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而她說,"當你編故事, 你就是進行設計,
01:12
it's entertainment when you tell it,
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當你說故事, 就是娛樂,
01:14
and you're going to use a microphone."
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還會用到麥克風(科技)。"
01:16
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
01:19
I said, "You're a peach, ma. Pop there?"
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我說,"謝謝妳喔! 爸在嗎?"
01:21
"What's the matter? The pearls of wisdom
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"有什麼問題? 智慧的珍珠
01:23
leaping from my lips like lemmings is no good for you?"
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像旅鼠般從我的嘴唇中跳出, 不是很棒嗎?"
01:26
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
01:28
Then my pop got on there.
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然後, 我爸來了。
01:29
My pop, he's one of the old souls, you know --
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我爸 - 他很老陳
01:32
old Cuban man from Camaguey.
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一個來自卡馬圭的古巴男人。
01:35
Camaguey is a province in Cuba.
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卡馬圭是古巴的一個省。
01:37
He's from Florida.
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他來自佛羅里達州。
01:39
He was born there in 1924.
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他1924年在那裏出生。
01:41
He grew up in a bohio of dirt floors,
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他在一些骯髒的房屋中成長,
01:45
and the structure was the kind used by the Tainos,
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而那些建築是泰諾人常用的那種,
01:48
our old Arawak ancestors.
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我們遠古的阿拉瓦克祖先。
01:51
My father is at once quick-witted, wickedly funny,
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我爸以前很聰穎, 亦有諷刺性的幽默感,
01:58
and then poignancy turns on a dime and leaves you breathless.
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但辛酸的經歴令你透不過氣來。
02:06
"Papi, help."
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"爸爸, 幫幫我。"
02:09
"I already heard your mother. I think she's right."
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"我已聽過你媽媽說。我覺得她是對的。"
02:12
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
02:14
"After what I just told you?"
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"你剛剛是沒聽見嗎?"
02:16
My whole life, my father's been there.
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在我整個生命裏, 我的爸爸都在那裏。
02:18
So we talked for a few minutes, and he said,
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我們談了數分鐘, 然後他說,
02:20
"Why don't you tell them what you believe?"
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"為什麼不把你相信的告訴他們?"
02:22
I love that, but we don't have the time.
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我想, 但我們時間不夠。
02:25
Good storytelling is crafting a story that someone wants to listen to.
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好的說故事技巧，是創作人們想聆聽的故事。
02:31
Great story is the art of letting go.
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好的故事是放開的藝術。
02:36
So I'm going to tell you a little story.
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所以我現在要告訴你一個小故事。
02:38
Remember, this tradition comes to us
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記著, 這個傳統是來自我們的
02:40
not from the mists of Avalon, back in time, but further still,
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而不是由遠古的亞瓦崙而來的,
02:44
before we were scratching out these stories on papyrus,
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在我們開始在紙莎草紙繪畫我們的故事前,
02:47
or we were doing the pictographs on walls in moist, damp caves.
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或在我們在潮濕的山洞牆壁繪畫之前,
02:53
Back then, we had an urge, a need, to tell the story.
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在那時, 我們已有迫切的需要, 去說故事。
02:56
When Lexus wants to sell you a car, they're telling you a story.
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當凌志向你推銷汽車時, 他們在告訴你一個故事。
03:01
Have you been watching the commercials?
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你有沒有看過那些廣告?
03:03
Because every one of us has this desire, for once -- just once --
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因為我們每個人都有這種慾望, 即使只是一次,
03:08
to tell our story and have it heard.
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去說我們的故事, 並且被聆聽。
03:11
There are stories you tell from stages.
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在不同的階段, 你會有不同的故事。
03:15
There's stories that you may tell
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有些故事, 你可能會
03:19
in a small group of people with some good wine.
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在幾個人享受美酒的情況下說的。
03:22
And there's stories you tell late at night to a friend,
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而有些故事, 你可能會在深夜告訴你的一位朋友,
03:27
maybe once in your life.
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可能一生就一次。
03:31
And then there are stories that we whisper into a Stygian darkness.
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而有些故事, 我們只想向黑夜說。
03:39
I'm not telling you that story.
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我將要說的故事並不是這些。
03:41
I'm telling you this one.
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我將要告訴你這個故事。
03:43
It's called, "You're Going to Miss Me."
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這個故事叫,"你將會掛念我。"
03:45
It's about human connection.
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這個故事是講人與人之間的關係。
03:48
My Cuban mother, which I just briefly introduced you to
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剛才我簡單介紹過的, 古巴籍的媽媽,
03:50
in that short character sketch,
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矮小的那位,
03:54
came to the United States one thousand years ago.
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在一千年前去了美國。
03:58
I was born in 19 -- I forget, and I came to this country
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我生於19-- 我已忘記是那一年, 而我來到這個國家
04:02
with them in the aftermath of the Cuban revolution.
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是在古巴革命之後, 和他們一起來的。
04:04
We went from Havana, Cuba to Decatur, Georgia.
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我們由古巴的哈瓦那，到喬治亞州的第開特。
04:08
And Decatur, Georgia's a small Southern town.
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而第開特是喬治亞州南方的一個小鎮。
04:10
And in that little Southern town, I grew up,
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我就是在這個小鎮中成長,
04:13
and grew up hearing these stories.
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並且聽著這些故事成長。
04:15
But this story only happened a few years ago.
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但這故事只是發生在數年前。
04:17
I called my mom.
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我打電話給我的媽媽。
04:19
It was a Saturday morning.
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那是一個星期六的早上。
04:21
And I was calling about how to make ajiaco. It's a Cuban meal.
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而我打電話是想問媽媽如何煮一個古巴的湯。
04:23
It's delicious. It's savory.
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這個湯很美味。
04:25
It makes spit froth in the little corners of your mouth --
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這個湯會令你垂涎三尺。
04:27
is that enough? It makes your armpits juicy, you know?
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連腋下都流口水，你懂嗎?
04:30
That kind of food, yeah.
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就是這種食品!
04:33
This is the sensory part of the program, people.
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刺激你的感官阿
04:36
I called my mother, and she said, "Carmen, I need you to come, please.
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我打給媽媽, 而她說, "卡蔓, 請你過來, 我需要你。
04:39
I need to go to the mall, and you know your father now,
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我要去商場, 而你爸
04:42
he takes a nap in the afternoon, and I got to go.
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在睡午覺, 而我必須離開。
04:44
I got an errand to run."
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去處理一些雜務。
04:45
Let me parenthetically pause here and tell you --
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讓我在這裏停一下, 並告訴你 --
04:47
Esther, my mother, had stopped driving several years ago,
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我媽, 伊斯妲, 在數年前已開始停止開車,
04:49
to the collective relief of the entire city of Atlanta.
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整個亞特蘭大市都鬆了一口氣。
04:52
Any vehicular outing with that woman from the time I was a young child,
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當我還小, 坐媽媽的車出去時,
04:54
guys, naturally included flashing, blue lights.
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就會有警察閃著燈追她
04:58
But she'd become adept at dodging the boys in blue,
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但她變得很熟練地避開警察,
05:02
and when she did meet them, oh, she had wonderful, well, rapport.
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如果被追到了, 她很會處理。
05:09
"Ma'am, did you know that was a light you just ran?"
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"小姐, 你知道你剛才衝了燈嗎?"
05:13
(Spanish)
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(西班牙文)
05:16
"You don't speak English?"
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"你不懂英語?"
05:18
"No."
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"不。"
05:20
(Laughter)
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(哈哈)
05:21
But eventually, every dog has its day,
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但每個人都會有報應,
05:23
and she ended up in traffic court,
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而她結果被告上法庭,
05:25
where she bartered with the judge for a discount.
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在法庭上, 她與法官爭辯, 希望可以給她打折。
05:28
There's a historical marker.
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這實在是歴史上的一個創擧。
05:30
But now she was a septuagenarian, she'd stopped driving.
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現在她已年過七十, 不再開車。
05:33
And that meant that everyone in the family had to sign up
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而這表示家裏的每個人都要自願
05:37
to take her to have her hair dyed, you know,
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去帶她去染頭髮啦,
05:40
that peculiar color of blue that matches her polyester pants suit,
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染那種古怪的藍色, 還跟她的尼龍褲子相襯,
05:43
you know, same color as the Buick.
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你知, 和別克的顏色一樣。
05:45
Anybody? All right.
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有沒有人? 可以。
05:47
Little picks on the legs, where she does her needlepoint, and leaves little loops.
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當她做針線工作時, 在腳上留下了一些痕跡。
05:51
Rockports -- they're for this.
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Rockports鞋－可以這樣動。
05:53
That's why they call them that.
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所以它們有這樣的名字。
05:55
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
05:56
This is her ensemble.
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這是她給人的印象。
05:58
And this is the woman that wants me to come on a Saturday morning
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就是這樣的女人想我在星期六早上過去
06:00
when I have a lot to do, but it doesn't take long because Cuban guilt is a weighty thing.
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我有很多事要做, 但這不需要太多時間, 因為古巴的內疚是一件很繁複的事。
06:05
I'm not going political on you but ... And so, I go to my mother's.
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不想討論太政治性的議題, 總之我去了我媽媽那裏。
06:09
I show up. She's in the carport.
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我出現了。她在車棚。
06:11
Of course, they have a carport.
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當然, 他們有一個車棚。
06:12
The kind with the corrugated roof, you know.
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你知, 有波狀屋頂的那種。
06:14
The Buick's parked outside,
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那輛別克就泊在外面,
06:15
and she's jingling, jangling a pair of keys.
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而她正在搖晃兩條鎖匙。
06:17
"I got a surprise for you, baby!"
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"親愛的, 我有一個驚喜給你!"
06:19
"We taking your car?"
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"要開你的車嗎?"
06:21
"Not we, I."
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"不只如此。"
06:23
And she reaches into her pocket and pulls out a catastrophe.
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她伸手入袋中, 並拿出一個災難來。
06:28
Somebody's storytelling. Interactive art. You can talk to me.
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有人在講故事。是一個互動的藝術。你可以和我談話。
06:31
Oh, a driver's license, a perfectly valid driver's license.
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呀, 是一張駕照 -- 一張完全有效的駕照。
06:33
Issued, evidently, by the DMV in her own county of Gwinnett.
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是由她住的Gwinnett車管局發出的。
06:37
Blithering fucking idiots.
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他媽的白痴。
06:39
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
06:40
I said, "Is that thing real?"
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我說,"這是真的嗎?"
06:41
"I think so."
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"我想是。"
06:42
"Can you even see?"
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"你看見嗎?"
06:43
"I guess I must."
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"我想我看見。"
06:44
"Oh, Jesus."
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"啊, 上帝!"
06:45
She gets into the car -- she's sitting on two phone books.
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她上了車, 坐在兩本電話簿上。
06:48
I can't even make this part up because she's that tiny.
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我沒有說謊, 因為她太矮了。
06:50
She's engineered an umbrella so she can -- bam! -- slam the door.
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她改造了一把雨傘, 讓她可以把門關上。
06:53
Her daughter, me, the village idiot with the ice cream cone
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她的女兒, 即是我 -- 村裏拿著雪糕的白痴
06:55
in the middle of her forehead, is still standing there, slack-jawed.
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仍站在那裏, 驚嚇得把口張大。
06:58
"You coming? You no coming?"
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"你來不來?"
06:59
"Oh, my God." I said, "OK, fine. Does pop know you're driving?"
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"啊, 上帝。"我說,"可以。爸爸知道你開車嗎?"
07:02
"Are you kidding me?"
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"你在開玩笑嗎?"
07:04
"How are you doing it?"
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"你怎麼做得到?"
07:05
"He's got to sleep sometime."
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"他要睡覺嘛。"
07:08
And so we left my father fast asleep, because I knew he'd kill me
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所以趁爸熟睡時離開, 我知道如果我不跟著我媽
07:11
if I let her go by herself, and we get in the car.
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我爸會殺了我, 所以我們一同上了車子。
07:13
Puts it in reverse. Fifty-five out of the driveway, in reverse.
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媽倒了車, 以55的高速倒車。
07:16
I am buckling in seatbelts from the front.
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我正在戴上安全帶,
07:18
I'm yanking them in from the back. I'm doing double knots.
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我由後面戴上安全帶, 並打上兩個結。
07:21
I mean, I've got a mouth as dry as the Kalahari Desert.
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我的口和卡拉哈里沙漠一樣乾。
07:23
I've got a white-knuckle grip on the door. You know what I'm talking about?
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我緊張地握著車門的扶手。你知道我在說什麼嗎?
07:26
And she's whistling, and finally I do the kind of
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而她在吹口哨, 而我最終
07:30
birth breathing -- you know, that one?
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像在生孩子般呼吸 - 你知啦, 那一種?
07:32
Only a couple of women are going uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Right.
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只有幾位女士點頭。對。
07:35
And I said, "Ma, would you slow down?"
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而我說, "媽, 你可以慢下來嗎?"
07:36
Because now she's picked up the Highway 285,
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因為她選了285號公路,
07:39
the perimeter around Atlanta, which encompasses now --
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在大西洋的周邊 --
07:42
there's seven lanes, she's on all of them, y'all.
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那裏有七條車道 - 她七條都開, 對, 全部。
07:45
I said, "Ma, pick a lane!"
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我說, "媽, 選定一條車道吧!"
07:47
"They give you seven lanes, they expect you to use them."
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"他們給你七條車道, 就是要你用它們。"
07:49
And there she goes, right.
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而她就這樣繼續開車。
07:52
I don't believe for a minute she has been out and not been stopped.
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我不敢相信, 她這樣開沒被攔下。
07:55
So, I think, hey, we can talk. It'll be a diversion.
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我想, 我們能談談。 可能有轉機。
07:57
It'll help my breathing. It'll do something for my pulse, maybe.
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這可幫助舒緩我的呼吸。這可能對我的脈搏有幫助。
08:00
"Mommy, I know you have been stopped."
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"媽, 我知道你被攔過了。"
08:02
"No, no, what you talking about?"
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"不, 不, 你在說什麼?"
08:04
"You have a license. How long have you been driving?"
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"你拿駕照後。車開幾天了?"
08:05
"Four or five days."
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"四或五天。"
08:06
"Yeah. And you haven't been stopped?"
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"對。而你沒被攔過?"
08:07
"I did not get a ticket."
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"我沒收到紅單。"
08:10
I said, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but come on, come on, come on."
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我說,"對對對, 來吧, 來吧。"
08:14
"OK, so I stopped at a light
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"我在紅綠燈前停下來"
08:16
and there's a guy, you know, in the back."
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"後面一個人過來。"
08:18
"Would this guy have, like, a blue uniform
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"這男的是不是穿著藍色制服"
08:20
and a terrified look on his face?"
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"臉上掛著驚嚇的表情?"
08:22
"You weren't there, don't start."
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"你不在那裏, 別念我。"
08:23
"Come on. You got a ticket?"
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"拜託。你有被開單吧?"
08:25
"No." She explained,
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"沒有。"她解釋 --
08:28
"The man" -- I have to tell you as she did,
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"這男子" -- 我要像她那樣告訴你
08:30
because it loses something if I don't, you know --
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因為如果我不這樣做, 會失去那感覺 --
08:32
"he come to the window, and he does a thing like this,
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"他來到窗口, 並這樣做 --
08:35
which tells me he's pretty old, you know.
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這告訴我他都有一定的年紀, 你知啦。
08:41
So I look up and I'm thinking,
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所以, 我向上望, 而我在想,
08:43
maybe he's still going to think I'm kind of cute."
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可能他覺得我很可愛。"
08:45
"Ma, are you still doing that?"
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"媽, 你還來這套?"
08:46
"If it works, it works, baby.
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"親愛的, 這有效的。"
08:48
So, I say, 'Perdon, yo no hablo ingles.'
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所以我說, (西班牙語)
08:50
Well, wouldn't you know, he had been in Honduras for the Peace Corps."
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"你不知道, 他會講西文。"
08:53
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
08:55
So he's talking to her, and at some point she says,
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他跟她講著講, 突然, 她說,
08:57
"Then, you know, it was it. That was it. It was done."
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"然後, 事情就是這樣。"
09:01
"Yeah? What?
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"什麼?"
09:03
He gave you a ticket? He didn't give you a ticket? What?"
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他開了紅單還是沒有? 什麼?"
09:06
"No, I look up, and the light, she change."
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"不, 我向上望, 然後那盞燈, 轉了。"
09:09
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
09:13
You should be terrified.
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你一定很驚慌。
09:14
Now, I don't know if she's toying with me,
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現在, 我不知道她是否在玩弄我,
09:16
kind of like a cat batting back a mouse, batting back a mouse --
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好像一隻貓打回一隻老鼠,打回一隻老鼠--
09:18
left paw, right paw, left paw, right paw --
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左爪, 右爪, 左爪, 右爪。
09:20
but by now, we've reached the mall.
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那時候, 我們到了商場。
09:22
Now, you have all been at a mall during the holidays, yes?
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你們都一定在假期時到過商場, 對?
09:24
Talk to me. Yes. Yes. You can say yes.
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告訴我。對。對。你可以說對。
09:27
Audience: Yes.
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觀眾: 對。
09:28
Carmen Agra Deedy: All right, then you know that you have now entered parking lot purgatory,
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現在, 你知道進入那個似煉獄的停車場是怎樣的,
09:31
praying to that saint of perpetual availability
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祈禱希望有空位出現
09:33
that as you join that serpentine line of cars crawling along,
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你會加入那長長的車龍,
09:36
some guy's going to turn on the brake lights
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有人總會亮起停車燈
09:38
just as you pull up behind him.
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當你在他後面停車。
09:39
But that doesn't happen most of the time, right?
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但在大部分情況, 這都不會發生, 對?
09:42
So, first I say, "Ma, why are we here?"
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所以, 我先說, "媽, 為什麼我們在這裏?"
09:44
"You mean, like, in the car?"
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"你是指, 在車裏?"
09:45
"No, don't -- why are we here today?
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"不 - 為什麼我們今天在這裏?
09:48
It's Saturday. It's the holidays."
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今天是星期六。今天是假期。"
09:52
"Because I have to exchange your father's underwear."
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"因為我要換你爸爸的內衣。"
09:55
Now, see, this is the kind of Machiavellian thinking,
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你看, 這是一種馬基雅弗利主義的思想,
09:57
that you really have to -- you know, in my mind, it's a rabbit's warren,
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你真的要 -- 你知道, 在我的腦海中, 這是一個狡兔窟,
09:59
this woman's mind.
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這個女人的腦袋。
10:00
Do I want to walk in, because unless I have Ariadne's thread to anchor --
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除非我有阿麗雅德妮的錨繩(希臘神話), 我真不敢進去
10:04
enough metaphors for you? -- somewhere, I may not get out.
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這暗喻夠嗎? 我可能困在迷宮走不出來。
10:07
But you know.
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但你知道 --
10:08
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
10:12
"Why do we have to take pop's underwear back now?
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"為什麼我們要現在把爸爸的內衣帶回來?
10:15
And why? What is wrong with his underwear?"
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為什麼? 他的內衣有什麼問題?"
10:17
"It will upset you."
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"這會令你不高興。"
10:18
"It won't upset me. Why? What? Is something wrong with him?"
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"這不會令我不高興。為什麼? 什麼? 有什麼不妥?"
10:21
"No, no, no. The only thing with him is, he's an idiot.
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"不不不。有問題的地方就只是, 他是個白痴。
10:24
I sent him to the store, which was my first mistake,
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我叫他去商鋪那裏 - 這是我第一個錯誤 --
10:27
and he went to buy underwear, and he bought the grippers,
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他去買了內衣, 及夾子,
10:30
and he's supposed to buy the boxers."
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他應當也要買短褲。"
10:32
"Why?"
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"為什麼?"
10:33
"I read it on the Intersnet. You cannot have children."
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我在網上看見的。你不能生小孩子。"
10:36
"Oh, my God!"
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"啊, 我的天!"
10:37
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
10:40
Olivia? Huh? Huh?
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奧利弗? 吓? 吓?
10:43
By now, we have now crawled another four feet,
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那時候, 我們又爬行了四尺,
10:48
and my mother finally says to me, "I knew it, I knew it.
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我媽最後向我說,"我知道, 我知道。
10:51
I'm an immigrant. We make a space. What I tell you? Right there."
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我是個新移民。我們會創造空間。告訢你, 在這裏。"
10:53
And she points out the passenger window, and I look out,
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然後她指著那乘客的窗戶, 我向外望,
10:56
and three -- three -- aisles down,
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三條横巷外面 --
11:00
"Look, the Chevy."
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"你看, 那輛車."
11:02
You want to laugh, but you don't know --
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你想笑, 但你不懂 --
11:04
you're that politically corrected, have you noticed?
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你在那裏是政治正確的 - 你有注意到嗎?
11:06
Correct the other direction now, it's OK.
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現在改正到另一個方向, 現在好了。
11:09
"Look, the Chevy -- he's coming this way."
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你看, 那輛車 -- 他正在向這邊駛來。"
11:10
"Mama, mama, mama, wait, wait, wait. The Chevy is three aisles away."
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"媽媽, 等一下, 等一下, 等一下。 那輛車在三條橫巷之外。"
11:13
She looks at me like I'm her, you know, her moron child,
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我望著我好像我是白痴 --
11:15
the cretin, the one she's got to speak to very slowly and distinctly.
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她在和這個白痴說話時, 必須說得很慢及很清楚。
11:18
"I know that, honey. Get out of the car
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"親愛的, 我知道。先出去
11:22
and go stand in the parking space till I get there."
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然後在停車格佔著, 等我過來。
11:25
OK, I want a vote. Come on, come on. No, no.
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我要投票。來吧, 來吧。不, 不。
11:29
How many of you once in your -- you were a kid, you were an adult --
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有多少個你曾在你的 - 你曾是個小孩子, 你曾是個大人 -
11:31
you stood in a parking space to hold it for someone?
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你站在停車格等人的?
11:34
See, we're a secret club with a secret handshake.
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看, 我們是一個秘密的組織, 有一個秘密的握手。
11:36
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
11:38
And years of therapy later, we're doing great.
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經過多年的治療, 我們現在很好。
11:40
We're doing great. We're doing fine.
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我們現在很好。我們現在很好。
11:42
Well, I stood up to her.
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我站起來。
11:43
This is -- you know, you'd think by now I'm -- and still holding?
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你知道, 你想我現在, 仍拿著?
11:49
I said, "No way, ma, you have embarrassed me my entire life."
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我說, "不, 媽, 你令我整個人生都蒙羞。"
11:52
Of course, her comeback is, "When have I embarrassed you?"
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當然, 她的回應是,"我何時令你蒙羞?"
11:55
(Spanish)
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(西班牙文)
11:57
And she's still talking while she puts the car in park,
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當她泊車時, 她仍在說話,
11:59
hits the emergency brake, opens the door,
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踏在緊急剎車掣上, 把門打開,
12:02
and with a spryness astounding in a woman her age,
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而她擁有和她年紀不相配的活力,
12:05
she jumps out of the car, knocks out the phone books,
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她跳出車外, 敲動了電話簿,
12:08
and then she walks around --
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然後在四周走動--
12:09
she's carrying her cheap Kmart purse with her --
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她仍然在攜帶她那個便宜的錢包 --
12:11
around the front of the car.
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她走到車子前面。
12:13
She has amazing land speed for a woman her age, too.
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對她這個年紀的女人來說, 她有一個驚人的速度。
12:16
Before I know it, she has skiddled across the parking lot
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在我醒覺之前, 她已跳過了停車的地方
12:18
and in between the cars, and people behind me, with that kind of
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在車子中間穿過, 而在我後面的人們
12:21
usual religious charity that the holidays bring us, wah-wah wah-wah.
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都在尖叫, 嘩嘩。
12:26
"I'm coming." Italian hand signals follow.
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"我正在過來。"她跟著用意大利的手語。
12:28
I scoot over. I close the door. I leave the phone books.
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我匆匆離去。我把門關上。我把電話薄留下。
12:32
This is new and fast, just so you -- are you still with us?
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我講超快的 - 跟得上嗎?
12:35
We'll wait for the slow ones. OK.
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我們會等那些慢的。
12:37
I start, and this is where a child says to me --
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我開始時 - 這是一個孩子告訴我的 -
12:39
and the story doesn't work if I tell you about her before,
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這故事沒有效, 如果我在之前已把她的事告訴你。
12:41
because this is my laconic child.
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因為這是我簡潔的孩子。
12:44
A brevity, brevity of everything with this child.
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這個孩子的所有事情都是簡潔的。
12:46
You know, she eats small portions.
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你知, 她吃的份量很少。
12:48
Language is something to be meted out
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語言對她來說是一個懲罰
12:50
in small phonemes, you know -- just little hmm, hmm-hmm.
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你知, 她說話只是用一些很短的音素。
12:55
She carries a mean spiral notebook and a pen.
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她常常會帶著記事薄和筆。
12:57
She wields great power.
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她有很大的力量。
12:59
She listens, because that's what people who tell stories do first.
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她聆聽, 因為這是每個講故事的人首要做的事。
13:05
But she pauses occasionally and says,
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但她間中會停下來, 並說,
13:07
"How do you spell that? What year? OK."
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"這個事怎樣串? 什麼年份? 好。"
13:11
When she writes the expose in about 20 years,
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當她寫了二十年的故事,
13:14
don't believe a word of it.
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別相信她的一句說話。
13:15
But this is my daughter, Lauren, my remarkable daughter,
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但這是我的女兒,勞倫,我非凡的女兒,
13:18
my borderline Asperger's kid.
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我將近有亞斯伯格症的孩子。
13:22
Bless you, Dr. Watson.
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沃森博士, 祝福你。
13:26
She says, "Ma, you got to look!"
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她說, "媽, 你看!"
13:29
Now, when this kid says I got to look, you know.
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當這個孩子叫我看時, 你知道。
13:32
But it isn't like I haven't seen this crime scene before.
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但我並不是之前沒有看過這些犯罪場面。
13:34
I grew up with this woman.
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我與這女人一起成長。
13:36
I said, "Lauren, you know what, give me a play-by-play. I can't."
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我說, "勞倫, 給我一個現場報道。我不能 --"
13:38
"No, mama, you got to look."
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"不, 媽媽, 你一定要看。"
13:39
I got to look. You got to look.
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我要看。你要看。
13:41
Don't you want to look?
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你不想看嗎?
13:43
There she is.
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她在那裏。
13:45
I look in bewildered awe:
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我很驚訝地望著 --
13:47
she's standing, those Rockports slightly apart, but grounded.
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她站著, 搖著的Rockports鞋 ,
13:50
She's holding out that cheap Kmart purse, and she is wielding it.
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揮舞著她那便宜的錢包,
13:54
She's holding back tons of steel with the sheer force
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她像是在用全身的力量攔住千噸的鐵
14:01
of her little personality, in that crone-ish voice, saying things like,
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以她細小的性格, 用一把不悅耳的聲音, 像在說,
14:06
"Back it up, buddy! No, it's reserved!"
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"朋友, 支持我吧! 不, 這已被預留!"
14:10
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
14:12
Ready? Brace yourselves. Here it comes.
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準備好了沒有? 勇敢一點。
14:13
"No, my daughter, she's coming in the Buick.
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"不, 我的女兒, 她開著她的別克來了。
14:15
Honey, sit up so they can see you."
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親愛的, 坐好, 讓他們可以看見你。"
14:17
Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus.
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我的天! 我的天!
14:20
I finally come -- and now, it's the South.
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我終於來到, 現在它在南面。
14:22
I don't know what part of the country you live in.
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我不知道你住在哪裏。
14:24
I think we all secretly love stories.
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我想私底下我們都喜愛故事。
14:27
We all secretly want our blankie and our Boo Bear.
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私底下, 我們都喜愛我們的被窩及小熊。
14:29
We want to curl up and say, "Tell it to me, tell it to me.
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我們都想撒嬌地說,"告訴我吧! 告訴我吧!
14:30
Come on, honey, tell it to me."
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來吧, 親愛的, 告訴我吧!"
14:32
But in the South, we love a good story.
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在南方, 我們喜愛一個好的故事。
14:34
People have pulled aside,
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人們站在一旁,
14:36
I mean, they've come out of that queue line,
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我的意思是, 他們離開了人龍,
14:38
they have popped their trunks, pulled out lawn chairs and cool drinks.
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他們放好他們的貨車, 拿出椅子及凍飲。
14:40
Bets are placed.
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開始下注。
14:42
"I'm with the little lady. Damn!"
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"我是在那位小女子的那邊的!"
14:44
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
14:46
And she's bringing me in with a slight salsa movement.
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她以一個跳舞的節奏帶我進來。
14:48
She is, after all, Cuban.
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她 -- 始終 -- 是一個古巴人。
14:50
I'm thinking, "Accelerator, break. Accelerator, break."
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我在想, "加速器, 請壞吧!"
14:53
Like you've never thought that in your life? Right? Yeah.
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就像你從沒想過那様? 對? 是呀。
14:56
I pull in. I put the car in park.
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我在公園把車子停下來。
14:58
Engine's still running -- mine, not the car.
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引擎仍在轉動 - 不是我的, 我的車。
15:01
I jump out next to her going, "Don't you move!"
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我跳到她的身旁, 說"別動!"
15:03
"I'm not going anywhere."
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"我那裏也不會去。"
15:05
She's got front seat in a Greek tragedy.
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她坐在前面。
15:07
I come out, and there's Esther.
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我出來, 而埃斯特在那裏。
15:09
She's hugging the purse.
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她拿著她的錢包, 拿得很緊。
15:12
"Que?" Which means "what," and so much more.
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"什麼(西文)" 表示 "什麼?" - 還有很多意思。
15:15
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
15:22
"Ma, have you no shame?
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媽, 你不羞愧的嗎?
15:24
People are watching us all around," right?
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四周的人都在看著我們呢。"
15:26
Now, some of them you've got to make up, people.
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現在, 他們某些人 -- 你要創作呢。
15:29
Secret of the trade.
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商業秘密。
15:30
Guess what? Some of these stories I sculpt a little, here and there.
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猜一下? 這些故事, 我在這裏作一些, 在那裏作一些。
15:34
Some, they're just right there, right there. Put them right there.
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它們就在這裏。把它們放在這裏。
15:37
She says this to me.
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她向我說了這些。
15:39
After I say -- let me refresh you --
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後來, 我說 -- 讓我提醒你一下 --
15:42
"have you no shame?"
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"你不覺得羞恥嗎?"
15:46
"No. I gave it up with pantyhose -- they're both too binding."
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"不。我放棄了連褲襪 - 它們太捆綁了。"
15:51
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
15:54
(Applause)
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(掌聲)
15:58
Yeah, you can clap, but then you're about 30 seconds from the end.
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對, 你可以拍掌, 但你距離完場只有三十秒。
16:03
I'm about to snap like a brittle twig, when suddenly someone taps me on the shoulder.
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當我正將一個脆枝般折斷, 有人在我的膊頭上敲了一下。
16:06
Intrepid soul.
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一個勇敢的人。
16:08
I'm thinking, "This is my kid. How dare she?
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我在想, "這是我的孩子。她竟敢這樣做?
16:10
She jumped out of that car."
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她從車子裏跳出來。"
16:12
That's OK, because my mother yells at me, I yell at her.
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這是可以的, 因為我媽吼我, 我就吼我女兒。
16:14
It's a beautiful hierarchy, and it works.
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這是一個很漂亮的制度, 而它是可行的。
16:16
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
16:17
I turn around, but it's not a child. It's a young woman,
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我向後轉, 但這不是一個孩子, 而是一個少女。
16:19
a little taller than I, pale green, amused eyes.
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比我稍高少少。淺綠色, 而且有趣的眼睛。
16:21
With her is a young man -- husband, brother, lover, it's not my job.
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和她一起的是一個少年 - 丈夫, 兄弟, 愛人 - 不干我的事。
16:25
And she says, "Pardon me, ma'am" -- that's how we talk down there --
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然後她說, "不好意思" - 在那裏, 我們是這樣說話的 --
16:28
"is that your mother?"
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"她是你媽嗎?"
16:30
I said, "No, I follow little old women around parking lots
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我說, "不, 在停車場裏, 我習慣跟隨一些細小的老女人
16:32
to see if they'll stop. Yes, it's my mother!"
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對, 當然是我媽!"
16:34
The boy, now, he says. "Well, what my sister meant" --
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這個男孩, 現在說 "我的姐姐的意思是" --
16:37
they look at each other, it's a knowing glance -- "God, she's crazy!"
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他們互相對望 -- 這是一個熟悉的對望 -- "天啊, 她瘋了!"
16:43
I said, (Spanish), and the young girl and the young boy say,
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我說 (西班牙語), 那位少女及少男說,
16:47
"No, no, honey, we just want to know one more thing."
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"不, 不, 親愛的, 我們想知道多一件事。"
16:50
I said, "Look, please, let me take care of her, OK,
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我說, "看, 請, 讓我照顧著她, 沒問題的,
16:53
because I know her, and believe me, she's like a small atomic weapon,
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因為我認識她, 並相信我, 她像一個細小的核武,
16:55
you know, you just want to handle her really gingerly."
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你知, 你想小心翼翼地處理她。"
16:58
And the girl goes, "I know, but, I mean, I swear to God,
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而那女孩說, "我知道, 說真的, 我可以向上帝發誓,
17:00
she reminds us of our mother."
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她令我們想起了我們的媽媽。"
17:04
I almost miss it.
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我差點錯過了。
17:06
He turns to her on the heel of his shoe.
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他轉過身, 對著她。
17:08
It's a half-whisper, "God, I miss her."
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輕聲地說, "天啊, 我掛念著她。"
17:14
They turn then, shoulder to shoulder, and walk away,
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他們同時轉身, 肩並肩, 然後離開,
17:17
lost in their own reverie.
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在他們的夢想中消失。
17:19
Memories of some maddening woman who was the luck of their DNA draw.
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這是一個瘋巔的女人的回憶。
17:24
And I turn to Esther, who's rocking on those 'ports, and says,
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埃斯特正在搖動鞋子, 而我轉身對著埃斯特說,
17:30
"You know what, honey?"
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"親愛的, 你知道嗎?"
17:31
"What, ma?"
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"什麼, 媽媽?"
17:33
"I'm going to drive you crazy probably for about 14, 15 more years,
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"在未來的14或15年裏, 我都會把你弄瘋,
17:36
if you're lucky, but after that, honey, you're going to miss me."
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如果你幸運的話, 之後, 親愛的, 你將可能會掛念我。"
17:43
(Applause)
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(掌聲)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Carmen Agra Deedy - StorytellerCarmen Agra Deedy's luminous, funny, digressive tales of childhood and adulthood bring out the starry-eyed listener in us all.
Why you should listen
Carmen Agra Deedy is a storyteller and children's-book author. Born in Cuba, she moved to the United States as a child, and her childhood and family provide a rich vein of material for her vividly told stories.
She's a contributor to National Public Radio and has won numerous awards for her writing.
Carmen Agra Deedy | Speaker | TED.com