TED2009
Elizabeth Gilbert: Your elusive creative genius
Elizabeth Gilbert Tentang Menumbuhkan Kreatifitas
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Elizabeth Gilbert bermain dengan ide-ide mustahil yang kita harapkan dari para seniman dan para jenius -- Ia mengurai ide radikal dimana kejeniusan bukanlah "sifat bawaan" yang langka, tapi sesuatu yang "dimiliki" semua orang. Ceramahnya lucu, hangat dan mengesankan.
Elizabeth Gilbert - Writer
The author of 'Eat, Pray, Love,' Elizabeth Gilbert has thought long and hard about some big topics. Her fascinations: genius, creativity and how we get in our own way when it comes to both. Full bio
The author of 'Eat, Pray, Love,' Elizabeth Gilbert has thought long and hard about some big topics. Her fascinations: genius, creativity and how we get in our own way when it comes to both. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:13
I am a writer.
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Saya seorang penulis.
00:15
Writing books is my profession but it's more than that, of course.
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Menulis adalah profesi saya, tapi tentunya juga lebih dari itu.
00:19
It is also my great lifelong love and fascination.
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Bagi saya, menulis merupakan cinta terbesar dan paling mengagumkan.
00:23
And I don't expect that that's ever going to change.
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Dan saya yakin itu tidak akan pernah berubah.
00:25
But, that said, something kind of peculiar has happened recently
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Tetapi, ada sesuatu yang cukup ganjil akhir-akhir ini
00:30
in my life and in my career,
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baik dalam hidup maupun karier saya
00:33
which has caused me to have to recalibrate my whole relationship with this work.
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yang memaksa saya untuk menyesuaikan kembali hubungan antara pribadi dan pekerjaan saya.
00:38
And the peculiar thing is that I recently wrote this book,
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Hal aneh itu adalah bahwa buku yang baru saya tulis,
00:41
this memoir called "Eat, Pray, Love"
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sebuah memoar dengan judul "Eat, Pray, Love" (Makan, Doa, Cinta)
00:43
which, decidedly unlike any of my previous books,
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yang memutuskan untuk berbeda dengan buku-buku saya sebelumnya
00:48
went out in the world for some reason, and became this big,
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dengan merambah dunia dan membesar di sana
00:51
mega-sensation, international bestseller thing.
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menjadi sebuah bestseller internasional penuh sensasi
00:54
The result of which is that everywhere I go now,
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Jadinya, kemanapun saya pergi sekarang
00:57
people treat me like I'm doomed.
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saya diperlakukan seakan terkena malapetaka.
01:00
Seriously -- doomed, doomed!
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Serius -- Petaka Tujuh Kali.
01:03
Like, they come up to me now, all worried, and they say,
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Orang menemui saya dan dengan khawatir berkata,
01:05
"Aren't you afraid you're never going to be able to top that?
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"Tidakkah kamu khawatir ini akan menjadi pencapaian tertinggi kamu?
01:10
Aren't you afraid you're going to keep writing for your whole life
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Tidakkah kamu khawatir akan selamanya terus menulis
01:13
and you're never again going to create a book
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tanpa pernah menerbitkan satu buku pun
01:15
that anybody in the world cares about at all,
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yang dipedulikan siapapun lagi
01:18
ever again?"
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selama-lamanya?"
01:20
So that's reassuring, you know.
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Sangat menentramkan hati, ya?
01:22
But it would be worse, except for that I happen to remember
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Bisa lebih parah lagi, seandainya saya melupakan
01:25
that over 20 years ago, when I first started telling people -- when I was a teenager --
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bahwa 20 tahun yang lalu, saat pertama kali memutuskan - saat masih remaja --
01:29
that I wanted to be a writer,
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untuk menjadi seorang penulis
01:31
I was met with this same kind of, sort of fear-based reaction.
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saya dihadapkan dengan reaksi berdasarkan ketakutan yang sama
01:34
And people would say, "Aren't you afraid you're never going to have any success?
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Dan orang-orang di sekitar saya bilang, "Tidakkah khawatir gagal?
01:37
Aren't you afraid the humiliation of rejection will kill you?
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Tidakkah takut akan rasa malu jika ditolak?
01:40
Aren't you afraid that you're going to work your whole life at this craft
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Atau takut umurmu habis bergelut dengan pekerjaan ini
01:43
and nothing's ever going to come of it
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tanpa pernah menghasilkan apapun
01:45
and you're going to die on a scrap heap of broken dreams
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sampai mati di atas tumpukan mimpi yang hancur
01:47
with your mouth filled with bitter ash of failure?"
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dengan mulut berbusa pahitnya abu kegagalan?"
01:51
(Laughter)
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(Tawa)
01:53
Like that, you know.
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Ya, seperti itu.
01:55
The answer -- the short answer to all those questions is, "Yes."
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Jawabannya - untuk semua pertanyaan di atas adalah, "Ya".
02:00
Yes, I'm afraid of all those things.
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Ya, saya takut akan semua itu.
02:02
And I always have been.
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Dan memang selalu takut.
02:03
And I'm afraid of many, many more things besides
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Dan saya juga takut akan hal-hal lain
02:06
that people can't even guess at,
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yang mungkin tidak terpikirkan oleh orang.
02:08
like seaweed and other things that are scary.
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seperti rumput laut dan lainnya.
02:12
But, when it comes to writing,
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Tentang menulis,
02:14
the thing that I've been sort of thinking about lately, and wondering about lately, is why?
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pertanyaan yang akhir-akhir ini menghantui saya adalah "mengapa"?
02:18
You know, is it rational?
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Apakah masuk akal?
02:20
Is it logical that anybody should be expected
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Apakah logis bahwa setiap orang diharapkan
02:23
to be afraid of the work that they feel they were put on this Earth to do.
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untuk takut menghadapi pekerjaan yang mereka pilih di Bumi?
02:27
And what is it specifically about creative ventures
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Memang apa yang salah dengan bidang kerja kreatif
02:32
that seems to make us really nervous about each other's mental health
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yang membuat kita begitu khawatir akan kesehatan mental satu sama lain
02:35
in a way that other careers kind of don't do, you know?
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yang berbeda dengan bidang pekerjaan yang lain?
02:38
Like my dad, for example, was a chemical engineer
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Ayah saya, misalnya, seorang insinyur kimia
02:42
and I don't recall once in his 40 years of chemical engineering
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sepanjang 40 tahun karirnya di bidang kimia
02:45
anybody asking him if he was afraid to be a chemical engineer, you know?
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Ayah tidak pernah ditanya, apa dia takut menjadi insinyur kimia
02:49
It didn't -- that chemical-engineering block, John, how's it going?
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Tidak pernah sekalipun -- apa kabarnya si insinyur kimia bebal John?
02:55
It just didn't come up like that, you know?
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Tidak pernah seperti itu, kan?
02:57
But to be fair, chemical engineers as a group
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Dalam kenyataan, insinyur kimia sebagai kelompok
03:01
haven't really earned a reputation over the centuries
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tidak pernah sekalipun menyandang reputasi
03:03
for being alcoholic manic-depressives.
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sebagai depresif maniak yang alkoholik.
03:06
(Laughter)
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(Tawa penonton)
03:08
We writers, we kind of do have that reputation,
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Sementara kita, penulis, menyandang reputasi itu,
03:11
and not just writers, but creative people across all genres,
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dan bukan hanya penulis, tapi juga umumnya pekerja kreatif
03:14
it seems, have this reputation for being enormously mentally unstable.
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cenderung dianggap memiliki mental yang labil.
03:19
And all you have to do is look at the very grim death count
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Kita tinggal melihat daftar kematian kelam
03:23
in the 20th century alone, of really magnificent creative minds
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pada abad keduapuluh, tentang para pemikir kreatif.
03:27
who died young and often at their own hands, you know?
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yang meninggal di usia muda dan seringnya karena bunuh diri.
03:30
And even the ones who didn't literally commit suicide
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Bahkan mereka yang tidak bunuh diri secara harfiah
03:33
seem to be really undone by their gifts, you know.
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seakan tidak pernah puas dengan bakat mereka.
03:36
Norman Mailer, just before he died, last interview, he said
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Norman Mailer, dalam wawancara terakhirnya sebelum meninggal bilang,
03:39
"Every one of my books has killed me a little more."
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"Tiap buku yang kutulis membunuhku sedikit demi sedikit"
03:43
An extraordinary statement to make about your life's work.
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Sebuah ungkapan luar biasa terhadap pengabdian sepanjang hidup.
03:47
But we don't even blink when we hear somebody say this
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Tak heran jika ada yang mengucapkan hal seperti tadi
03:50
because we've heard that kind of stuff for so long
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karena ungkapan seperti terlalu sering muncul
03:53
and somehow we've completely internalized and accepted collectively
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dan tanpa sadar kita menjadikannya kewajaran dalam kesadaran kita
03:57
this notion that creativity and suffering are somehow inherently linked
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bahwa kreatifitas dan kesengsaraan saling terkait erat
04:01
and that artistry, in the end, will always ultimately lead to anguish.
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bahwa kesenian, pada akhirnya, selalu akan berakhir tragis.
04:06
And the question that I want to ask everybody here today
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Dan pertanyaan saya sekarang
04:08
is are you guys all cool with that idea?
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kok bisa kalian menerima ide tersebut begitu saja?
04:11
Are you comfortable with that?
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Apa kalian nyaman dengannya --
04:14
Because you look at it even from an inch away and, you know ...
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sebab jika kalian mencoba memperhatikan itu sedikit lebih jauh,--
04:17
I'm not at all comfortable with that assumption.
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Saya sama sekali tidak nyaman dengan asumsi itu.
04:20
I think it's odious.
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Saya menganggapnya menjijikan.
04:21
And I also think it's dangerous,
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Dan juga berbahaya,
04:23
and I don't want to see it perpetuated into the next century.
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dan saya menolak asumsi itu berkelanjutan
04:26
I think it's better if we encourage our great creative minds to live.
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Saya lebih baik mendukung kreatiftas.
04:30
And I definitely know that, in my case -- in my situation --
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Dan saya sangat yakin, bahwa dalam situasi saya
04:36
it would be very dangerous for me to start sort of leaking down that dark path
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akan sangat berbahaya bila saya menuju kegelapan semacam
04:41
of assumption, particularly given the circumstance
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asumsi itu, terutama mengingat situasi
04:44
that I'm in right now in my career.
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dan posisi karir saya saat ini.
04:46
Which is -- you know, like check it out,
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Yang mana-- ya lihatlah sendiri
04:49
I'm pretty young, I'm only about 40 years old.
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Saya cukup muda, berumur sekitar 40 tahun
04:51
I still have maybe another four decades of work left in me.
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Saya mungkin masih mempunyai 4 dekade lagi untuk berkarya
04:54
And it's exceedingly likely that anything I write from this point forward
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Makin besar pula kemungkinan bahwa apapun karya saya berikutnya
04:59
is going to be judged by the world as the work that came after
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akan dinilai oleh dunia sebagai karya yang menyusul
05:02
the freakish success of my last book, right?
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sukses luar biasa dari karya sebelumnya.
05:05
I should just put it bluntly, because we're all sort of friends here now --
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Kasarnya, kita semua di sini adalah sahabat bukan,
05:09
it's exceedingly likely that my greatest success is behind me.
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sangatlah mungkin bahwa kesuksesan saya hanyalah masa lalu.
05:13
So Jesus, what a thought!
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Betapa seramnya pikiran itu!
05:16
That's the kind of thought that could lead a person
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Ide semacam itulah yang dapat mendorong seseorang
05:18
to start drinking gin at nine o'clock in the morning,
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untuk mulai minum gin pukul sembilan pagi,
05:21
and I don't want to go there.
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dan saya tak menginginkannya.
05:24
(Laughter)
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(Tawa penonton)
05:25
I would prefer to keep doing this work that I love.
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Saya memilih untuk terus melanjutkan pekerjaan saya.
05:27
And so, the question becomes, how?
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Jadi, pertanyaannya tinggal, bagaimana?
05:31
And so, it seems to me, upon a lot of reflection,
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Dan sepertinya, setelah banyak merenung,
05:33
that the way that I have to work now, in order to continue writing,
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cara terbaik supaya saya bisa terus menulis,
05:37
is that I have to create some sort of protective psychological construct, right?
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adalah dengan menciptakan suatu pelindung psikologis.
05:41
I have to sort of find some way to have a safe distance
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Saya harus memiliki suatu jarak aman
05:44
between me, as I am writing, and my very natural anxiety
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antara saya, sebagai penulis, dan ketakutan saya yang wajar
05:49
about what the reaction to that writing is going to be, from now on.
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saat menghadapi reaksi orang terhadap karya saya, sejak saat ini.
05:53
And, as I've been looking over the last year for models for how to do that
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Dan dalam pencarian saya menemukan model untuk bisa melakukan itu,
05:57
I've been sort of looking across time,
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saya telah menembus waktu,
05:59
and I've been trying to find other societies
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dan berbagai masyarakat
06:01
to see if they might have had better and saner ideas than we have
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untuk melihat kalau mereka memiliki ide yang lebih baik dan waras
06:05
about how to help creative people, sort of manage
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tentang bagaimana membantu para kreatif menangani
06:08
the inherent emotional risks of creativity.
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resiko emosional dari kreatifitas.
06:11
And that search has led me to ancient Greece and ancient Rome.
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Pencarian ini membawa saya ke budaya Yunani dan Romawi kuno.
06:16
So stay with me, because it does circle around and back.
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Kisah ini akan kembali berputar ke awal.
06:19
But, ancient Greece and ancient Rome --
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Di zaman Yunani dan Romawi kuno
06:21
people did not happen to believe that creativity
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orang tak menganggap kreatifitas
06:24
came from human beings back then, O.K.?
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berasal dari manusia.
06:26
People believed that creativity was this divine attendant spirit
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Orang percaya bahwa kreatifitas adalah roh pembantu
06:30
that came to human beings from some distant and unknowable source,
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yang berasal dari sebuah sumber yang jauh dan misterius
06:34
for distant and unknowable reasons.
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untuk alasan yang misterius pula
06:37
The Greeks famously called these divine attendant spirits of creativity "daemons."
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Orang Yunani menamai roh kreatifitas tersebut "daemon".
06:42
Socrates, famously, believed that he had a daemon
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Socrates percaya bahwa dia memiliki daemon
06:45
who spoke wisdom to him from afar.
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yang mengajarkan kebijakan dari jauh.
06:48
The Romans had the same idea,
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Orang Romawi pun mempercayai ide yang sama,
06:49
but they called that sort of disembodied creative spirit a genius.
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tapi mereka menyebut makhluk itu Jenius.
06:54
Which is great, because the Romans did not actually think
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Lucu bahwa orang Romawi tidak menganggap
06:57
that a genius was a particularly clever individual.
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Jenius sebagai manusia yang sangat sangat pintar.
06:59
They believed that a genius was this, sort of magical divine entity,
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Mereka percaya Jenius adalah sesuatu yang magis dan sakral
07:03
who was believed to literally live in the walls
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yang hidup dalam tembok
07:07
of an artist's studio, kind of like Dobby the house elf,
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ruang kerja seniman, mirip seperti peri-rumah Dobby,
07:11
and who would come out and sort of invisibly assist the artist with their work
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yang keluar dari persembunyiannya untuk membantu sang seniman
07:15
and would shape the outcome of that work.
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dan membentuk hasil akhir karya tersebut.
07:18
So brilliant -- there it is, right there, that distance that I'm talking about --
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Sangat brilian -- itu dia jarak yang tadi saya maksudkan --
07:21
that psychological construct to protect you from the results of your work.
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sebuah konstruksi psikologis untuk melindungi dari karya kita sendiri.
07:26
And everyone knew that this is how it functioned, right?
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Dan karena semua orang mengetahuinya
07:29
So the ancient artist was protected from certain things,
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Maka seniman kuno terlindungi dari sejumlah hal,
07:32
like, for example, too much narcissism, right?
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seperti narsisme berlebihan, kan?
07:34
If your work was brilliant you couldn't take all the credit for it,
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Sebab karya brilian Anda bukanlah hasil Anda sendiri,
07:37
everybody knew that you had this disembodied genius who had helped you.
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semua orang tahu bahwa Anda dibantu oleh roh Jenius
07:41
If your work bombed, not entirely your fault, you know?
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Dan karya gagal Anda bukan sepenuhnya salah Anda,
07:45
Everyone knew your genius was kind of lame.
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Semua tahu Jenius Anda lah yang dungu.
07:48
And this is how people thought about creativity in the West for a really long time.
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Dan dulunya, seperti inilah kepercayaan di Barat tentang kreatifitas.
07:53
And then the Renaissance came and everything changed,
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Lalu datanglah masa Renaisans dan semua berubah,
07:55
and we had this big idea, and the big idea was
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dan kita berpikir bahwa
07:57
let's put the individual human being at the center of the universe
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manusia adalah pusat alam semesta
08:01
above all gods and mysteries, and there's no more room
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di atas semua dewa dan misteri, tak ada ruang
08:03
for mystical creatures who take dictation from the divine.
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untuk makhluk mistis pemberi arah.
08:06
And it's the beginning of rational humanism,
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Dan ini lah awal humanisme rasional,
08:09
and people started to believe that creativity
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orang orang mulai percaya bahwa kreativitas
08:11
came completely from the self of the individual.
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bersumber seutuhnya dari manusia.
08:13
And for the first time in history,
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Untuk pertama kalinya dalam sejarah,
08:16
you start to hear people referring to this or that artist as being a genius
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Anda mulai mendengar seniman ini dan itu disebut sebagai jenius
08:21
rather than having a genius.
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bukannya memiliki jenius.
08:22
And I got to tell you, I think that was a huge error.
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Menurut saya, ini merupakan kesalahan besar.
08:26
You know, I think that allowing somebody, one mere person
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Membiarkan seseorang, satu manusia biasa,
08:30
to believe that he or she is like, the vessel,
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percaya bahwa dirinya adalah wadah
08:33
you know, like the font and the essence and the source
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bentuk dan esensi dan sumber
08:35
of all divine, creative, unknowable, eternal mystery
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dari seluruh wahyu, kreatifitas, misteri, rahasia abadi
08:39
is just a smidge too much responsibility to put on one fragile, human psyche.
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menjadi tanggung jawab yang terlalu besar untuk hati manusia yang rapuh.
08:45
It's like asking somebody to swallow the sun.
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Seakan meminta seseorang menelan matahari.
08:48
It just completely warps and distorts egos,
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Menyesatkan dan mengelabui ego,
08:51
and it creates all these unmanageable expectations about performance.
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Menciptakan harapan akan performa yang berlebihan.
08:55
And I think the pressure of that
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Tekanan dari situlah
08:57
has been killing off our artists for the last 500 years.
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yang selama 500 tahun terakhir telah membunuh banyak seniman.
09:00
And, if this is true,
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Jika ini benar,
09:02
and I think it is true,
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dan saya kira memang benar,
09:04
the question becomes, what now?
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maka pertanyaan berikutnya adalah, sekarang bagaimana?
09:07
Can we do this differently?
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Bagaimana cara mengubahnya?
09:09
Maybe go back to some more ancient understanding
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Mungkin dengan kembali kepada pemahaman kuno
09:12
about the relationship between humans and the creative mystery.
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tentang hubungan manusia dan misteri kreatifitas.
09:17
Maybe not.
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Mungkin tidak.
09:18
Maybe we can't just erase 500 years of rational humanistic thought
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Kita tidak bisa menghapus begitu saja pemikiran humanis rasional
09:22
in one 18 minute speech.
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dalam ceramah 18 menit.
09:24
And there's probably people in this audience
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Dan mungkin sebagian hadirin di sini
09:27
who would raise really legitimate scientific suspicions
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akan mengajukan bantahan ilmiah
09:31
about the notion of, basically fairies
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tentang gagasan para peri
09:33
who follow people around rubbing fairy juice on their projects and stuff.
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yang mengikuti manusia untuk membisikkan inspirasi.
09:38
I'm not, probably, going to bring you all along with me on this.
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Saya tidak akan mencoba untuk membahas itu.
09:43
But the question that I kind of want to pose is --
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Yang saya pertanyakan adalah,
09:45
you know, why not?
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mengapa tidak?
09:48
Why not think about it this way?
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Kenapa tidak berpikir seperti itu?
09:49
Because it makes as much sense as anything else I have ever heard
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Karena sama masuk akalnya dengan hal lain yang pernah saya dengar
09:54
in terms of explaining the utter maddening capriciousness
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menjelaskan keunikan yang menjengkelkan
09:58
of the creative process.
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dari proses kreatif.
09:59
A process which, as anybody who has ever tried to make something --
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Proses yang, bagi siapapun yang pernah mencoba mebuat sesuatu
10:02
which is to say basically everyone here ---
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bisa dibilang, semua yang ada di sini --
10:04
knows does not always behave rationally.
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tidak selalu rasional
10:07
And, in fact, can sometimes feel downright paranormal.
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Dan faktanya, kadang terasa paranormal.
10:12
I had this encounter recently where I met the extraordinary American poet Ruth Stone,
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Baru-baru ini saya bertemu penyair Amerika luar biasa Ruth Stone,
10:18
who's now in her 90s, but she's been a poet her entire life
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kini berumur 90an, tapi telah menulis puisi sepanjang hidupnya
10:20
and she told me that when she was growing up in rural Virginia,
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Ruth bercerita saat tumbuh di pedesaan Virginia,
10:24
she would be out working in the fields,
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saat dia bekerja di ladang,
10:25
and she said she would feel and hear a poem
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dan dia merasakan dan mendengar sebuah puisi
10:28
coming at her from over the landscape.
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datang jauh dari ujung cakrawala.
10:30
And she said it was like a thunderous train of air.
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Bagaikan rentetan air yang menggelegar.
10:34
And it would come barreling down at her over the landscape.
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Datang menghantam Ruth di ladang.
10:36
And she felt it coming, because it would shake the earth under her feet.
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Ruth mereasakannya, karena getaran bumi tempat Ruth berpijak.
10:39
She knew that she had only one thing to do at that point,
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Hanya ada satu hal yang dapat dilakukannya saat itu,
10:43
and that was to, in her words, "run like hell."
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yaitu, "berlari seperti dikejar setan."
10:45
And she would run like hell to the house
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Dan Ruth berlari ke rumahnya,
10:46
and she would be getting chased by this poem,
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dengan puisi itu mengejarnya,
10:48
and the whole deal was that she had to get to a piece of paper and a pencil
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untuk secepat mungkin mendapatkan kertas dan pensil
10:51
fast enough so that when it thundered through her, she could collect it
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agar saat puisi itu menembus dirinya, Ruth bisa menangkapnya
10:54
and grab it on the page.
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dan mengurungnya dalam tulisan.
10:56
And other times she wouldn't be fast enough,
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1955
Terkadang Ruth tidak cukup cepat,
10:58
so she'd be running and running and running, and she wouldn't get to the house
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Ruth terus berlari dan berlari dan berlari, dan sebelum sampai rumah
11:01
and the poem would barrel through her and she would miss it
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puisi itu telah menembusnya dan Ruth pun melewatkannya
11:04
and she said it would continue on across the landscape,
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lalu puisi itu terus mengalir meninggalkan Ruth,
11:06
looking, as she put it "for another poet."
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mencari, seperti katanya, "seorang penyair lain"
11:09
And then there were these times --
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Ada kalanya lagi,
11:12
this is the piece I never forgot --
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ini bagian yang tak terlupakan,
11:14
she said that there were moments where she would almost miss it, right?
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Ruth bilang ada saat dimana dia hampir melewatkannya, kan?
11:17
So, she's running to the house and she's looking for the paper
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Lalu saat Ruth berlari ke dalam rumah dan mencari kertas,
11:20
and the poem passes through her,
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puisi itu menembus tubuhnya,
11:22
and she grabs a pencil just as it's going through her,
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di saat yang sama Ruth meraih sebuah pensil,
11:25
and then she said, it was like she would reach out with her other hand
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lalu Ruth berkata dia mengulurkan tangan yang satunya
11:27
and she would catch it.
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mencoba menangkap puisi itu.
11:29
She would catch the poem by its tail,
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Ruth menangkap puisi itu di ekornya,
11:31
and she would pull it backwards into her body
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dan menarik puisi itu kembali ke arahnya
11:34
as she was transcribing on the page.
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1860
sambil berusaha menuliskannya di kertas.
11:36
And in these instances, the poem would come up on the page perfect and intact
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Saat itu juga, puisi tersebut tertulis di kertas dengan utuh dan sempurna,
11:41
but backwards, from the last word to the first.
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tetapi terbalik, dari kata terakhir ke depan.
11:44
(Laughter)
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1712
(Tawa penonton)
11:46
So when I heard that I was like -- that's uncanny,
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Ketika saya mendengarnya -- Luar biasa,
11:50
that's exactly what my creative process is like.
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seperti itulah proses kreatif saya.
11:53
(Laughter)
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(Tawa penonton)
11:57
That's not at all what my creative process is -- I'm not the pipeline!
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Tetapi proses kreativitas saya bukan begitu saja -- saya bukan saluran pipa!
12:00
I'm a mule, and the way that I have to work
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1854
Saya adalah bagal, dan cara saya bekerja
12:01
is that I have to get up at the same time every day,
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adalah bangun tidur di jam yang sama setiap hari,
12:03
and sweat and labor and barrel through it really awkwardly.
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lalu bekerja memeras otak dengan kikuk.
12:06
But even I, in my mulishness,
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3000
Tetapi bahkan dalam kebagalan saya,
12:09
even I have brushed up against that thing, at times.
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saya juga pernah bertemu dengan kabut insipirasi yang menabrak Ruth Stone
12:13
And I would imagine that a lot of you have too.
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Dan saya kira Anda pun juga pernah begitu.
12:15
You know, even I have had work or ideas come through me from a source
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Saya bahkan pernah mendapatkan ide dari suatu sumber
12:18
that I honestly cannot identify.
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yang tak bisa saya gambarkan.
12:21
And what is that thing?
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Apa itu sebenarnya?
12:22
And how are we to relate to it in a way that will not make us lose our minds,
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Bagaimana cara mamahami hal tersebut tanpa kehilangan akal sehat,
12:26
but, in fact, might actually keep us sane?
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tetapi malah menjaga kewarasan kita?
12:29
And for me, the best contemporary example that I have of how to do that
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Bagi saya, contoh kontemporer terbaik untuk itu ada
12:33
is the musician Tom Waits,
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pada musisi Tom Waits,
12:35
who I got to interview several years ago on a magazine assignment.
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yang saya wawancarai beberapa tahun yang lalu.
12:40
And we were talking about this,
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1249
Saat itu kita membahas hal ini,
12:41
and you know, Tom, for most of his life he was pretty much the embodiment
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3713
Tom, dalam sebagian besar hidupnya, dia menjadi perwujudan
12:45
of the tormented contemporary modern artist,
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1924
seniman modern kontemporer yang tersiksa,
12:47
trying to control and manage and dominate
245
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2623
yang berusaha mengontrol, mengatasi dan menguasai
12:50
these sort of uncontrollable creative impulses
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2474
kreatifitas impulsif yang tak terkontrol
12:52
that were totally internalized.
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1887
yang sepenuhnya terjadi dalam jiwanya.
12:54
But then he got older, he got calmer,
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2005
Lalu Tom menjadi semakin dewasa dan tenang
12:56
and one day he was driving down the freeway in Los Angeles he told me,
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2923
dan suatu hari Tom menyetir di jalur cepat di Los Angeles,
12:59
and this is when it all changed for him.
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1840
dan di sini semuanya berubah baginya.
13:01
And he's speeding along, and all of a sudden
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1991
Sambil menyetir, tiba-tiba
13:03
he hears this little fragment of melody,
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3741
Tom mendengar sepotong melodi
13:06
that comes into his head as inspiration often comes, elusive and tantalizing,
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4029
masuk ke kepalanya seperti laiknya sebuah inspirasi, perlahan dan menggoda
13:10
and he wants it, you know, it's gorgeous,
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2128
dan Tom menginginkannya, begitu indah
13:13
and he longs for it, but he has no way to get it.
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Tom mengharapkannya, tapi tanpa daya untuk menangkapnya.
13:15
He doesn't have a piece of paper, he doesn't have a pencil,
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1868
Saat itu Tom tak memiliki kertas ataupun pinsil,
13:17
he doesn't have a tape recorder.
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1451
tak ada alat rekaman di dekatnya.
13:18
So he starts to feel all of that old anxiety start to rise in him
258
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2968
Dan Tom mulai merasa gelisah
13:21
like, "I'm going to lose this thing,
259
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1991
"Aduh, aku akan kehilangan melodi ini,
13:23
and then I'm going to be haunted by this song forever.
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1920
lalu akan terus dihantui lagu ini selamanya.
13:25
I'm not good enough, and I can't do it."
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1771
Aku begitu payah dan tak mampu."
13:27
And instead of panicking, he just stopped.
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2392
Lalu bukannya panik, dia berhenti.
13:29
He just stopped that whole mental process
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1748
Dia hentikan seluruh proses mental tadi
13:31
and he did something completely novel.
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2155
dan ia lakukan sesuatu yang sangat baru.
13:33
He just looked up at the sky, and he said,
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2722
Tom memandang ke langit, dan berkata,
13:36
"Excuse me, can you not see that I'm driving?"
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3014
"Maaf, tidakkah kamu lihat saya sedang menyetir?"
13:39
(Laughter)
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3701
(Tawa penonton)
13:42
"Do I look like I can write down a song right now?
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2734
"Memangnya saya bisa menulis lagu saat ini?
13:45
If you really want to exist, come back at a more opportune moment
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3845
Jika kamu memang ingin berwujud, kembalilah di waktu yang tepat
13:49
when I can take care of you.
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1662
Saat saya bisa meladenimu.
13:51
Otherwise, go bother somebody else today.
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3077
Jika tidak, ganggulah orang lain.
13:54
Go bother Leonard Cohen."
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Ganggulah Leonard Cohen."
13:57
And his whole work process changed after that.
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3132
Dan sejak itu, proses kerja Tom berubah.
14:00
Not the work, the work was still oftentimes as dark as ever.
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3608
Bukan karyanya, mereka tetap kelam seperti biasa.
14:04
But the process, and the heavy anxiety around it
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3059
Tetapi prosesnya, dan kegelisahan di sekitarnya
14:07
was released when he took the genie, the genius out of him
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2986
terbebaskan saat Tom merelakan jin, kejeniusannya
14:10
where it was causing nothing but trouble, and released it kind of back where it came from,
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yang hanya bisa merepotkan, dan mengembalikannya ke asalnya
14:13
and realized that this didn't have to be this internalized, tormented thing.
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menyadarkan Tom bahwa kreatifitas tidaklah harus menyiksa.
14:17
It could be this peculiar, wondrous, bizarre collaboration
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3744
Kreatifitas dapat berupa kolaborasi istimewa, indah dan unik
14:20
kind of conversation between Tom and the strange, external thing
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4132
sebuah percakapan antara Tom dan sesuatu yang aneh
14:25
that was not quite Tom.
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2376
yang bukan sepenuhnya Tom.
14:27
So when I heard that story it started to shift a little bit
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2706
Saat mendengar cerita itu, mulailah bergeser sedikit
14:30
the way that I worked too, and it already saved me once.
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2629
cara kerja saya, dan itu telah menyelamatkan saya sekali.
14:32
This idea, it saved me when I was in the middle of writing "Eat, Pray, Love,"
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3331
Ide ini menyelamatkan saya saat tengah menulis "Eat, Pray, Love,"
14:36
and I fell into one of those, sort of pits of despair
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2588
dan saya merasa jatuh dalam jurang keputusasaan
14:38
that we all fall into when we're working on something and it's not coming
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3341
yang sering kita temui saat menghadapi karya yang tak kunjung selesai
14:42
and you start to think this is going to be a disaster,
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2242
dan mulai berpikir akan kegagalan,
14:44
this is going to be the worst book ever written.
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1761
inilah karya terburuk sepanjang masa.
14:46
Not just bad, but the worst book ever written.
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2147
Bukan hanya jelek, tapi buku terjelek yang pernah ditulis.
14:48
And I started to think I should just dump this project.
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3962
Saya bahkan berpikir untuk menghentikan proyek ini.
14:52
But then I remembered Tom talking to the open air
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3075
Tapi saya teringat Tom yang berbicara ke udara lepas
14:55
and I tried it.
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2048
dan mencobanya.
14:57
So I just lifted my face up from the manuscript
293
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2492
Jadi saya mengangkat wajah dari skrip
14:59
and I directed my comments to an empty corner of the room.
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2930
dan memberikan komentar ke sudut kosong di kamar.
15:02
And I said aloud, "Listen you, thing,
295
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3578
Saya bilang keras-keras, "Dengar ya kamu,
15:06
you and I both know that if this book isn't brilliant
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3198
kita berdua tahu bahwa buku ini tidak hebat
15:09
that is not entirely my fault, right?
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1801
dan itu bukan salah saya semata.
15:11
Because you can see that I am putting everything I have into this,
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3327
Karena kamu lihat saya sudah berusaha sekuat tenaga,
15:14
I don't have any more than this.
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1368
saya tak punya lebih dari ini.
15:15
So if you want it to be better, then you've got to show up and do your part of the deal.
300
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3226
Jadi jika kamu menginginkan hasil yang lebih baik, muncul dan lakukan bagianmu.
15:19
O.K. But if you don't do that, you know what, the hell with it.
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OK. Tetapi kalau kamu tidak mau, terserah.
15:22
I'm going to keep writing anyway because that's my job.
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2936
Saya akan tetap menulis karena itu pekerjaan saya.
15:25
And I would please like the record to reflect today
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1899
Dan saya ingin kamu mengingat
15:26
that I showed up for my part of the job."
304
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2300
bahwa saya telah mengerjakan bagian saya."
15:29
(Laughter)
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3698
(Tawa penonton)
15:32
Because --
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2087
Karena --
15:35
(Applause)
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2074
(Tepuk tangan penonton)
15:37
in the end it's like this, O.K. --
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2172
Intinya begini, OK --
15:39
centuries ago in the deserts of North Africa,
309
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2401
beberapa abad yang lalu di padang pasir Afrika Utara
15:41
people used to gather for these moonlight dances of sacred dance and music
310
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4667
orang biasa berkumpul untuk tarian rembulan dan musik yang sakral
15:46
that would go on for hours and hours, until dawn.
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2704
yang terus berlangsung hingga fajar.
15:49
And they were always magnificent, because the dancers were professionals
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3027
Penampilan mereka selalu luar biasa, karena penari tersebut profesional
15:52
and they were terrific, right?
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1174
dan begitu hebat.
15:53
But every once in a while, very rarely, something would happen,
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3818
Tapi sesekali, sangat jarang, sesuatu yang lain terjadi,
15:57
and one of these performers would actually become transcendent.
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3512
dan salah satu penari itu akan mengalami transendensi
16:00
And I know you know what I'm talking about,
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2284
Saya tahu Anda mengerti apa saya maksud,
16:02
because I know you've all seen, at some point in your life, a performance like this.
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3954
Karena kita semua pernah melihatnya, tarian yang transendental.
16:06
It was like time would stop,
318
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2095
Waktu pun seakan berhenti
16:08
and the dancer would sort of step through some kind of portal
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2375
dan penari itu seakan menembus suatu portal
16:11
and he wasn't doing anything different than he had ever done, 1,000 nights before,
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4491
dia tidak melakukan sesuatu yang berbeda dengan 1,000 malam sebelumnya,
16:15
but everything would align.
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1751
hanya saja segalanya jadi selaras.
16:17
And all of a sudden, he would no longer appear to be merely human.
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3032
Mendadak penari tersebut tidak lagi tampak sekedar manusia.
16:20
He would be lit from within, and lit from below
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2534
Dia bercahaya dari dalam, dan dari bawah,
16:23
and all lit up on fire with divinity.
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3790
dia bercahaya dengan api ilahiah.
16:26
And when this happened, back then,
325
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2145
Dulu, waktu hal seperti ini terjadi,
16:29
people knew it for what it was, you know, they called it by its name.
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4216
orang tau apa yang terjadi, mereka pun memanggil dengan nama.
16:33
They would put their hands together and they would start to chant,
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2632
Mereka mengumpulkan tangan bersama dan mulai bernyanyi,
16:35
"Allah, Allah, Allah, God, God, God."
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4100
"Allah, Allah, Allah, Tuhan, Tuhan, Tuhan."
16:40
That's God, you know.
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3102
Itu adalah Tuhan.
16:43
Curious historical footnote --
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Catatan kaki sejarah yang menarik --
16:45
when the Moors invaded southern Spain, they took this custom with them
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sewaktu bangsa Moors menjajah Spanyol selatan, mereka membawa tradisi ini
16:50
and the pronunciation changed over the centuries
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dan pengucapannya bergeser beberapa abad kemudian
16:52
from "Allah, Allah, Allah," to "Olé, olé, olé,"
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dari "Allah, Allah, Allah," menjadi "Ole, ole, ole,"
16:55
which you still hear in bullfights and in flamenco dances.
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yang masih kita dengar dari matador dan penari flamengo
16:58
In Spain, when a performer has done something impossible and magic,
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Di Spanyol, saat pemain melakukan hal yang mustahil dan magis,
17:02
"Allah, olé, olé, Allah, magnificent, bravo,"
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"Allah, ole, ole, Allah, luar biasa, bravo."
17:05
incomprehensible, there it is -- a glimpse of God.
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tak masuk akal, itu dia -- kilasan Tuhan.
17:09
Which is great, because we need that.
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Hebat tentu saja, karena kita membutuhkanNya.
17:11
But, the tricky bit comes the next morning,
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Masalahnya, pada pagi hari berikutnya,
17:15
for the dancer himself, when he wakes up
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saat penari itu bangun tidur,
17:18
and discovers that it's Tuesday at 11 a.m., and he's no longer a glimpse of God.
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Menyadari hari itu adalah Selasa, pukul 11 siang dan dia bukan lagi keajaiban
17:22
He's just an aging mortal with really bad knees,
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Penari itu hanya manusia tua dengan lutut yang rewel,
17:25
and maybe he's never going to ascend to that height again.
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dan mungkin tidak akan pernah transendensi lagi.
17:29
And maybe nobody will ever chant God's name again as he spins,
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Mungkin tidak akan ada lagi yang memanggil Tuhan saat dirinya menari
17:33
and what is he then to do with the rest of his life?
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lalu apa tersisa baginya?
17:36
This is hard.
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Ini berat.
17:37
This is one of the most painful reconciliations to make
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Ini adalah salah satu penyelesaian terberat yang harus dijalani
17:40
in a creative life.
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sebagai seniman.
17:42
But maybe it doesn't have to be quite so full of anguish
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Mungkin penyelesaian itu tidak harus dipenuhi kekalahan
17:45
if you never happened to believe, in the first place,
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jika pada dasarnya kita tidak beranggapan bahwa
17:49
that the most extraordinary aspects of your being came from you.
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sisi luar biasa karya kita tidak bersumber dari diri pribadi.
17:53
But maybe if you just believed that they were on loan to you
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Tapi jika Anda percaya bahwa itu adalah pinjaman
17:56
from some unimaginable source for some exquisite portion of your life
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dari suatu sumber misterius .
17:59
to be passed along when you're finished, with somebody else.
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yang akan dialihkan saat selesai, kepada orang lain.
18:03
And, you know, if we think about it this way it starts to change everything.
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Pemikiran seperti itu dapat mengubah segalanya.
18:08
This is how I've started to think,
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Seperti ini lah saya mulai berpikir,
18:10
and this is certainly how I've been thinking in the last few months
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seperti inilah cara pikir saya beberapa bulan terakhir
18:13
as I've been working on the book that will soon be published,
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sambil terus mengerjakan buku saya yang akan terbit
18:16
as the dangerously, frighteningly over-anticipated follow up
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sebuah kelanjutan berbahaya, mengerikan dan terlalu diharapkan
18:20
to my freakish success.
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dari kesuksesan saya.
18:22
And what I have to, sort of keep telling myself
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Dan saya harus terus mengingatkan diri
18:25
when I get really psyched out about that,
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saat mulai merasa lepas kendali,
18:27
is, don't be afraid.
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untuk tidak takut.
18:29
Don't be daunted.
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Jangan kecil hati.
18:31
Just do your job.
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Lakukan saja kerjamu.
18:33
Continue to show up for your piece of it, whatever that might be.
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Teruslah hadir untuk melakukan bagian kita, apapun itu.
18:36
If your job is to dance, do your dance.
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Jika tugasmu menari, maka menarilah.
18:39
If the divine, cockeyed genius assigned to your case
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Jika Jenius belagu yang ditugaskan untuk menjagamu
18:43
decides to let some sort of wonderment be glimpsed, for just one moment
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memutuskan untuk mengungkapkan sekilas keajaiban, untuk sesaat
18:48
through your efforts, then "Olé!"
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lewat usahamu, maka "Ole!"
18:50
And if not, do your dance anyhow.
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Jika tidak, tetaplah menari.
18:53
And "Olé!" to you, nonetheless.
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Walaupun demikian, "Ole!" bagimu.
18:55
I believe this and I feel that we must teach it.
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Saya memercayai ini dan kita harus mengajarkannya.
18:57
"Olé!" to you, nonetheless,
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Walaupun demikian, "Ole!" bagimu,
18:59
just for having the sheer human love and stubbornness
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bagi kekeraskepalaan dan cinta manusiawi
19:02
to keep showing up.
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untuk tetap berusaha.
19:04
Thank you.
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Terima kasih.
19:06
(Applause)
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(Tepuk tangan penonton)
19:08
Thank you.
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Terima kasih.
19:09
(Applause)
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(Tepuk tangan penonton)
19:12
June Cohen: Olé!
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June Cohen: Ole!
19:14
(Applause)
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(Tepuk tangan penonton)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Elizabeth Gilbert - WriterThe author of 'Eat, Pray, Love,' Elizabeth Gilbert has thought long and hard about some big topics. Her fascinations: genius, creativity and how we get in our own way when it comes to both.
Why you should listen
Elizabeth Gilbert faced down a premidlife crisis by doing what we all secretly dream of -- running off for a year. Her travels through Italy, India and Indonesia resulted in the megabestselling and deeply beloved memoir Eat, Pray, Love, about her process of finding herself by leaving home.
She's a longtime magazine writer -- covering music and politics for Spin and GQ -- as well as a novelist and short-story writer. Her books include the story collection Pilgrims, the novel Stern Men (about lobster fishermen in Maine) and a biography of the woodsman Eustace Conway, called The Last American Man. Her work has been the basis for two movies so far (Coyote Ugly, based on her own tale of working at the famously raunchy bar in New York City), and Eat, Pray, Love, with the part of Gilbert played by Julia Roberts. Not bad for a year off.
In 2010, Elizabeth published Committed, a memoir exploring her ambivalent feelings about the institution of marriage. And her 2013 novel, The Signature of All Things, is "a sprawling tale of 19th century botanical exploration."
Gilbert also owns and runs the import shop Two Buttons in Frenchtown, New Jersey.
Elizabeth Gilbert | Speaker | TED.com