TED2009
Elizabeth Gilbert: Your elusive creative genius
Si Elizabeth Gilbert patungkol sa pagpapayabong ng pagkamalikhain
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Ibinabahagi ni Elizabeth Gilbert ang kanyang mga pagninilay ukol sa kalimita'y impossibleng ekspektasyon natin sa mga manlilikha at henyo ng sining. Ito ay isang nakakatuwa, personal at nakakaantig na talumpati.
Elizabeth Gilbert - Writer
The author of 'Eat, Pray, Love,' Elizabeth Gilbert has thought long and hard about some big topics. Her fascinations: genius, creativity and how we get in our own way when it comes to both. Full bio
The author of 'Eat, Pray, Love,' Elizabeth Gilbert has thought long and hard about some big topics. Her fascinations: genius, creativity and how we get in our own way when it comes to both. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:13
I am a writer.
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Ako ay isang manunulat
00:15
Writing books is my profession but it's more than that, of course.
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Ang pagsusulat ng mga libro ang aking hanapbuhay, datapuwa't hindi lang iyan at hindi diyan nagtatapos.
00:19
It is also my great lifelong love and fascination.
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Ang pagsusulat din ay ang aking habambuhay na pag-ibig at pagkahalina.
00:23
And I don't expect that that's ever going to change.
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At tingin ko'y iyan ay hindi kailanman magbabago.
00:25
But, that said, something kind of peculiar has happened recently
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Gayunpaman, may kakaibang pangyayari kamakailan lang
00:30
in my life and in my career,
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sa aking buhay at sa aking karera,
00:33
which has caused me to have to recalibrate my whole relationship with this work.
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na nagdulot sa akin na muling usisatin ang kabuuan ng aking relasyon sa aking trabaho.
00:38
And the peculiar thing is that I recently wrote this book,
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At ang kakaibang pangyayaring ito ay ang pagsulat ko ng libro, kamakailan lang,
00:41
this memoir called "Eat, Pray, Love"
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isang talambuhay, na may pamagat na "Eat, Pray, Love"
00:43
which, decidedly unlike any of my previous books,
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na walang kaduda duda, hindi katulad sa mga nauna kong libro
00:48
went out in the world for some reason, and became this big,
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sapagkat, sa hindi ko mawaring dahilan, ito ay naging isang malaki,
00:51
mega-sensation, international bestseller thing.
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napakasikat, at lubhang mabiling libro sa buong mundo.
00:54
The result of which is that everywhere I go now,
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Dahil dito, saan man ako magtungo ngayon,
00:57
people treat me like I'm doomed.
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tinuturing ako ng mga tao na tila ako ay nasa isang tiyak na na pahamak
01:00
Seriously -- doomed, doomed!
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tiyak, tiyak na pahamak!
01:03
Like, they come up to me now, all worried, and they say,
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Heto't lumalapit sila, balisa, at sinasabing
01:05
"Aren't you afraid you're never going to be able to top that?
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"Hindi ka ba natatakot? -- hindi ka ba natatakot na hindi mo na mahihigitan pa ang librong iyan?
01:10
Aren't you afraid you're going to keep writing for your whole life
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Hindi ka ba natatakot na mula ngayon hanggang sa natitirang bahagi ng iyong buhay, ikaw ay magsusulat
01:13
and you're never again going to create a book
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at hindi ka na muli makakagawa ng isang libro
01:15
that anybody in the world cares about at all,
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na magugustuhan ng kahit isang tao
01:18
ever again?"
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kailan pa man?"
01:20
So that's reassuring, you know.
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Tila nakakaluwag ng damdamin, hindi ba.
01:22
But it would be worse, except for that I happen to remember
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Maaaring mas may masidhi pa nito, liban na nga lang sa isa kong naalalang
01:25
that over 20 years ago, when I first started telling people -- when I was a teenager --
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pangyayari may 20 taon nang nakalilipas, noong una ko pa lang pinamamahagi sa mga tao - nung ako ay nagdadalaga pa lamang -
01:29
that I wanted to be a writer,
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na gusto kong maging isang manunulat.
01:31
I was met with this same kind of, sort of fear-based reaction.
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Sinalubong ako ng reaksyon na natutulad din sa reaksyon ng mga tao ngayon, reaksyon na nababase sa takot.
01:34
And people would say, "Aren't you afraid you're never going to have any success?
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At sasabihin ng mga tao, "Hindi ka ba natatakot na hindi ka kailanman magtatagumpay?
01:37
Aren't you afraid the humiliation of rejection will kill you?
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Hindi ka ba natatakot na mamamatay ka sa kahihiyan dahil sa hindi pagtanggap sa iyo?
01:40
Aren't you afraid that you're going to work your whole life at this craft
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Hindi ka ba natatakot na sa buong buhay mo, patuloy kang maglilikha sa sining na ito
01:43
and nothing's ever going to come of it
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subalit ni kailanman ay hindi ito magbubunga
01:45
and you're going to die on a scrap heap of broken dreams
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at mamamatay ka na lamang sa pira-piraso't santambak na bigong pangarap
01:47
with your mouth filled with bitter ash of failure?"
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kung saan ang iyong bibig ay puno ng mapait na abo ng kabiguan?
01:51
(Laughter)
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(Tawanan)
01:53
Like that, you know.
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Parang ganun, alam nyo yun.
01:55
The answer -- the short answer to all those questions is, "Yes."
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Ang sagot - ang maiksing sagot sa lahat ng mga katanungang iyon ay, "Oo."
02:00
Yes, I'm afraid of all those things.
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Oo, ako ay natatakot sa lahat ng mga bagay na iyon.
02:02
And I always have been.
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Noon pa man, ako ay takot na.
02:03
And I'm afraid of many, many more things besides
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Liban pa doon, ako din ay takot sa marami pang ibang bagay
02:06
that people can't even guess at,
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na maaring hindi mawari ng ibang mga tao.
02:08
like seaweed and other things that are scary.
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Tulad ng damong-dagat, at iba pang bagay na nakakatakot.
02:12
But, when it comes to writing,
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Subalit, kung pagsusulat na ang pag-uusapan
02:14
the thing that I've been sort of thinking about lately, and wondering about lately, is why?
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ang tanong na tila pinag-iisipan ko kamakailan lang, at pinagtatakhan kamakailan, ay bakit?
02:18
You know, is it rational?
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Iyong tipong, eto ba ay makatwiran?
02:20
Is it logical that anybody should be expected
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Na makatwiran nga bang asahan ang isang tao
02:23
to be afraid of the work that they feel they were put on this Earth to do.
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na matakot sa trabahong sa tingin nila ay syang itinalaga na gawin nila sa mundong ito.
02:27
And what is it specifically about creative ventures
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Alam mo yun, ano nga ba ang meron sa pagngangahas na lumikha
02:32
that seems to make us really nervous about each other's mental health
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na wari baga'y tayo ay nangangamba na sa katinuan ng ating pag-iisip
02:35
in a way that other careers kind of don't do, you know?
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taliwas sa ibang karera?
02:38
Like my dad, for example, was a chemical engineer
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Bilang halimbawa, ang aking ama ay isang Chemical Engineer
02:42
and I don't recall once in his 40 years of chemical engineering
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at sa buong 40 taon na iginugol nya sa Chemical Engineering, 'ni minsan ay 'di ko naalalang
02:45
anybody asking him if he was afraid to be a chemical engineer, you know?
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may nagtanong sa kanya kung siya ba ay natatakot maging isang Chemical Engineer.
02:49
It didn't -- that chemical-engineering block, John, how's it going?
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Wala akong narinig na - kamusta na ang mga sagabal natin sa Chemical Engineering John?
02:55
It just didn't come up like that, you know?
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Walang ganuong pangyayari sa kanila.
02:57
But to be fair, chemical engineers as a group
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Gayunpaman, ang mga Chemical Engineers, bilang isang pangkat
03:01
haven't really earned a reputation over the centuries
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ay hindi naturingan nitong mga nakaraang siglo
03:03
for being alcoholic manic-depressives.
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bilang mga lasenggong malimit malumbay.
03:06
(Laughter)
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(Tawanan)
03:08
We writers, we kind of do have that reputation,
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Tayong mga manunulat, tila may ganoon tayong reputasyon,
03:11
and not just writers, but creative people across all genres,
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at hindi lamang manunulat, kundi pati lahat ng mga malikhaing tao sa lahat ng kategorya,
03:14
it seems, have this reputation for being enormously mentally unstable.
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ay tila may reputasyon sa pagkakaroon ng hindi matatag na katinuan.
03:19
And all you have to do is look at the very grim death count
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Tingnan na lamang natin ang nakapanghihilakbot na bilang ng mga namatay
03:23
in the 20th century alone, of really magnificent creative minds
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nitong ika-20 siglo pa lang, ng mga batikang manlilikha
03:27
who died young and often at their own hands, you know?
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na namatay sa murang edad at kalimitan ay sa kanilang mga sariling kamay.
03:30
And even the ones who didn't literally commit suicide
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At kahit pa man may iba na hindi pa literal na nagpapakamatay
03:33
seem to be really undone by their gifts, you know.
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ay tila bagang nawawasak ang katinuan dahil sa kanilang angking talento.
03:36
Norman Mailer, just before he died, last interview, he said
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Norman Mailer, sa huling panayam sa kanya bago sya mamatay, ay nagsabi na
03:39
"Every one of my books has killed me a little more."
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"Bawat isa ng aking mga libro, ay pinatay ako nang paunti-unti."
03:43
An extraordinary statement to make about your life's work.
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'Di ba't isa itong kakaibang pahayag ukol sa gawaing pinaggugulan mo ng iyong buhay?
03:47
But we don't even blink when we hear somebody say this
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Subalit hindi man lang tayo kumukurap 'pag naririnig natin ito
03:50
because we've heard that kind of stuff for so long
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sapagkat nasanay na tayo dahil sa ilang beses na natin ito narinig
03:53
and somehow we've completely internalized and accepted collectively
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at tila baga'y naisaloob na natin at natanggap
03:57
this notion that creativity and suffering are somehow inherently linked
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na ang pagiging malikhain at ang pagdurusa ay tila magkaakibat at magkapatid
04:01
and that artistry, in the end, will always ultimately lead to anguish.
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at ang pagiging malikhain, sa huli, ay magdudulot ng ibayong sakit at pagdurusa.
04:06
And the question that I want to ask everybody here today
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At ang katanungan na gusto ko itanong sa mga narito ngayon ay
04:08
is are you guys all cool with that idea?
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kayo bang lahat ay tanggap ang palaisipan o ideya na ito?
04:11
Are you comfortable with that?
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komportable ba kayo dito -
04:14
Because you look at it even from an inch away and, you know ...
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dahil kung titingnan nyo ito, kahit lumayo lang kayo ng isang pulgada, alam nyo
04:17
I'm not at all comfortable with that assumption.
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Hindi ako komportable sa ideyang ito.
04:20
I think it's odious.
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Tingin ko ito ay nakakasuka at nakakasuklam.
04:21
And I also think it's dangerous,
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Tingin ko din ito ay delikado,
04:23
and I don't want to see it perpetuated into the next century.
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At ayoko makitang napanatili ang ideyang ito sa susunod na siglo.
04:26
I think it's better if we encourage our great creative minds to live.
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Minumungkahi kong himukin natin ang ating mga dakilang manlilikha na magpunyaging mabuhay.
04:30
And I definitely know that, in my case -- in my situation --
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At tiyak akong alam ko,kung uusisatin ang aking sitwasyon,
04:36
it would be very dangerous for me to start sort of leaking down that dark path
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na lubhang mapanganib kung uumpisahan kong tumungo sa masalimuot na landas
04:41
of assumption, particularly given the circumstance
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ng pagpapalagay, lalo na kung isasa-alang alang ang mga bagay-bagay
04:44
that I'm in right now in my career.
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sa kasalukuyang kalagayan ng aking karera.
04:46
Which is -- you know, like check it out,
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Kung iisipin nyo at titignan,
04:49
I'm pretty young, I'm only about 40 years old.
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Ako'y lubhang bata pa lamang, ako'y 40 taong gulang pa lamang.
04:51
I still have maybe another four decades of work left in me.
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At ako'y may sa 4 na dekada pa ng trabahong natitira.
04:54
And it's exceedingly likely that anything I write from this point forward
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At higit na lubhang posible na lahat ng aking isulat pamula ngayon
04:59
is going to be judged by the world as the work that came after
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ay mahahatulan ng buong mundo bilang isang likha pagkatapos
05:02
the freakish success of my last book, right?
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ng nakakatakot na tagumpay ng huli kong libro, hindi nga ba?
05:05
I should just put it bluntly, because we're all sort of friends here now --
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Sa tapatang pananalita, dahil sa tayo'ng lahat ay magkakaibigan na ngayon -
05:09
it's exceedingly likely that my greatest success is behind me.
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lubhang posible na ang aking kalubus-lubusang tagumpay ay natapos na.
05:13
So Jesus, what a thought!
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Susmaryosep! Anong klaseng pag-iisip eto!
05:16
That's the kind of thought that could lead a person
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Alam nyo na eto ang uri ng pag-iisip na maaring mag-udyok sa isang tao
05:18
to start drinking gin at nine o'clock in the morning,
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na uminom ng hinebra ng alas-9 ng umaga,
05:21
and I don't want to go there.
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at ayoko ma-udyok nang ganuon.
05:24
(Laughter)
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(Tawanan)
05:25
I would prefer to keep doing this work that I love.
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Mas gugustuhin ko pa na patuloy na gawin ang gawaing mahal ko.
05:27
And so, the question becomes, how?
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Kung kaya, ang tanong ay, paano?
05:31
And so, it seems to me, upon a lot of reflection,
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At kaya, sa aking palagay, matapos ang maraming pagmumunimuni,
05:33
that the way that I have to work now, in order to continue writing,
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na ang paraan ng aking pagtatrabaho ngayon, upang magpatuloy sa pagsusulat
05:37
is that I have to create some sort of protective psychological construct, right?
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ay dapat makalikha ako ng parang isang sikolohikal na pangharang, di kaya?
05:41
I have to sort of find some way to have a safe distance
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Kailangan ko na makahanap ng paraan na magkaroon ng ligtas na layo
05:44
between me, as I am writing, and my very natural anxiety
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sa pagitan ko, habang ako ay nagsusulat, at ng aking likas na pag-aagam-agam
05:49
about what the reaction to that writing is going to be, from now on.
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sa kung ano ang magiging reaksyon sa sinulat ko, mula ngayon.
05:53
And, as I've been looking over the last year for models for how to do that
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At, habang naghahagilap ako sa nagdaang taon ng mga modelo kung paano gumawa ng paraan
05:57
I've been sort of looking across time,
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naghanap ako ng maaring ehemplo sa mga nagdaang panahon
05:59
and I've been trying to find other societies
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at sinubok kong maghanap sa ibang lipunan
06:01
to see if they might have had better and saner ideas than we have
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upang matignan na baka sila ay may mas mainam at makatwiran na ideya kaysa sa amin
06:05
about how to help creative people, sort of manage
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kung paano tulungan ang mga manlilika na pangasiwaan
06:08
the inherent emotional risks of creativity.
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ang angking panganib sa damdamin na kaakibat ng pagkamalikhain.
06:11
And that search has led me to ancient Greece and ancient Rome.
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At ang pagsisiyasat na iyon ay nagdala sa akin sa sinaunang Griyego at Roma.
06:16
So stay with me, because it does circle around and back.
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Kaya't maari lamang na samahan nyo ako dito dahil sa babalik din tayo mamya sa usaping eto.
06:19
But, ancient Greece and ancient Rome --
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Subalit, sa sinaunang Griyego at sinaunang Roma -
06:21
people did not happen to believe that creativity
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ang mga tao ay tila hindi naniniwala na ang pagkamalikhain
06:24
came from human beings back then, O.K.?
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ay galing sa katawang lupa ng tao, OK?
06:26
People believed that creativity was this divine attendant spirit
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Naniniwala ang mga tao na ang pagkamalikhain ay isang banal na espiritong naglilingkod
06:30
that came to human beings from some distant and unknowable source,
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na sumapi sa katawang lupa ng tao mula sa malayo at di mawari na pinagmulan
06:34
for distant and unknowable reasons.
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ayun sa malayo at di mawaring dahilan.
06:37
The Greeks famously called these divine attendant spirits of creativity "daemons."
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Tinawag ng mga Griyego ang banal na espiritong eto sa bantog na pangalang "daemons".
06:42
Socrates, famously, believed that he had a daemon
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Si Socrates ay tanyag sa kanyang paniniwala na sya ay mayroong daemon
06:45
who spoke wisdom to him from afar.
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na nagpapahayag sa kanya ng dunong mula sa kalayuan.
06:48
The Romans had the same idea,
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Ang mga taga-Roma ay may katulad na ideya
06:49
but they called that sort of disembodied creative spirit a genius.
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subalit tinatawag nilang "henyo" ang nakabuwag na malikhaing espirito na ito.
06:54
Which is great, because the Romans did not actually think
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Tingin ko ito ay kahanga-hanga, sapagkat hindi iniisip ng mga taga-Roma
06:57
that a genius was a particularly clever individual.
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na ang henyo ay isang lubhang matalinong tao.
06:59
They believed that a genius was this, sort of magical divine entity,
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Naniniwala sila na ang henyo ay tila parang isang mahiwaga at banal na nilalang
07:03
who was believed to literally live in the walls
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na pinaniniwalaang literal na nakatira sa pader
07:07
of an artist's studio, kind of like Dobby the house elf,
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ng estudyo ng manlilikha, parang si Dobby ang bahay-duende,
07:11
and who would come out and sort of invisibly assist the artist with their work
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na lumilitaw at tila tumutulong sa manlilikha sa kanilang trabaho nang hindi nakikita
07:15
and would shape the outcome of that work.
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na syang magbibigay hugis ng kinalabasan ng sining.
07:18
So brilliant -- there it is, right there, that distance that I'm talking about --
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'Di ba't ang galing - ayan, yung puwang na sinasabi ko -
07:21
that psychological construct to protect you from the results of your work.
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ang sikolohikal na pader na magtatanggol sayo mula sa bunga ng iyong sining.
07:26
And everyone knew that this is how it functioned, right?
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At alam ng lahat na ganito ang takbo ng mga bagay-bagay.
07:29
So the ancient artist was protected from certain things,
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Datapuwa't ang mga sinaunang manlilikha ay tiyak na ligtas sa ilang mga bagay
07:32
like, for example, too much narcissism, right?
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gaya na lamang ng lubusang pagmamahal sa sarili, hindi ba?
07:34
If your work was brilliant you couldn't take all the credit for it,
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Kung ang likha mo ay lubhang magaling hindi mo maaangkin ang buong karangalan nito
07:37
everybody knew that you had this disembodied genius who had helped you.
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dahil alam ng lahat na may henyong nakabuwag sayo na tumulong sa iyo.
07:41
If your work bombed, not entirely your fault, you know?
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Kung ang likha mo naman ay malaking palpak, hindi sayo ang bunton ng lahat ng sisi.
07:45
Everyone knew your genius was kind of lame.
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Alam ng lahat na ang henyo mo ay tila walang kuwenta.
07:48
And this is how people thought about creativity in the West for a really long time.
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At eto ang paniniwala ng mga tao sa Kanluran ukol sa pagkamalikhain sa loob ng mahabang panahon.
07:53
And then the Renaissance came and everything changed,
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Hanggang sa dumating ang Renaissance at ang lahat ay nagbago,
07:55
and we had this big idea, and the big idea was
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at nagkaroon tayo ng malaking ideya, at ang malaking ideyang ito ay
07:57
let's put the individual human being at the center of the universe
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ang ilagay natin ang bawat indibidwal sa gitna ng sansinukob
08:01
above all gods and mysteries, and there's no more room
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angat sa lahat ng mga diyos-diyosan at hiwaga, at wala nang puwang
08:03
for mystical creatures who take dictation from the divine.
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para sa mga mahiwagang nilalang na ginagabayan ng banal.
08:06
And it's the beginning of rational humanism,
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At ito'y simula ng makatwirang humanismo,
08:09
and people started to believe that creativity
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at ang mga tao'y nag-umpisang maniwala na ang pagkamalikhain
08:11
came completely from the self of the individual.
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ay ganap na mula sa sarili
08:13
And for the first time in history,
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At sa kauna-unahang pagkakataon sa kasaysayan ng tao,
08:16
you start to hear people referring to this or that artist as being a genius
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maririnig mo ang ibang tao na nagsasabing si ganto o ganyang manlilikha ng sining ay isang henyo
08:21
rather than having a genius.
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sa halip na nagkaroon ng henyo.
08:22
And I got to tell you, I think that was a huge error.
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At ito ang masasabi ko, tingin ko iyon ay isang lubhang malaking pagkakamali.
08:26
You know, I think that allowing somebody, one mere person
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Alam nyo, tingin ko na ang pagpapahintulot sa isang tao, sa iisang tao,
08:30
to believe that he or she is like, the vessel,
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na maniwalang sya ay tila parang isang sisidlan
08:33
you know, like the font and the essence and the source
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parang balon, at syang pinakabuod at bukal
08:35
of all divine, creative, unknowable, eternal mystery
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ng lahat ng banal, mapanlikha, mahiwaga, ng walang hanggang misteryo
08:39
is just a smidge too much responsibility to put on one fragile, human psyche.
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ay tila bahagyang labis na na responsibilidad para sa isang marupok na pag-iisip ng tao.
08:45
It's like asking somebody to swallow the sun.
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Ito'y nahahalintulad sa kahilingang lamunin ng isang tao ang araw.
08:48
It just completely warps and distorts egos,
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Lubos nitong nababaluktot at napapasama ang kaakuhan ng tao,
08:51
and it creates all these unmanageable expectations about performance.
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at dulot nito ang lahat ng hindi na makatwirang ekspektasyon sa likha at gawa.
08:55
And I think the pressure of that
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At tingin ko na ang panggigipit na ito
08:57
has been killing off our artists for the last 500 years.
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ay syang pumapatay sa ating mga manlilikha sa nakaraang 500 years.
09:00
And, if this is true,
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At, kung ito ay totoo,
09:02
and I think it is true,
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at tingin ko'y ito ay totoo,
09:04
the question becomes, what now?
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ang tanong ngayon ay, ano na ang mangyayari ngayon?
09:07
Can we do this differently?
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Maari ba nating baguhin ang mga bagay?
09:09
Maybe go back to some more ancient understanding
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Marahil bumalik tayo sa sinaunang paniniwala
09:12
about the relationship between humans and the creative mystery.
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ukol sa kaugnayan ng tao at ng hiwaga ng paglikha.
09:17
Maybe not.
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Maaring hindi na.
09:18
Maybe we can't just erase 500 years of rational humanistic thought
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Marahil hindi natin mabubura ang limang siglo ng makatwirang pag-iisip na nakasentro sa kapakanan ng tao
09:22
in one 18 minute speech.
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sa loob lamang ng isang 18 minuto na talumpati.
09:24
And there's probably people in this audience
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At maaring may iilan sa mga nandirito
09:27
who would raise really legitimate scientific suspicions
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na magbabahagi ng kanilang mga lehitimong hinala na nakabase sa agham
09:31
about the notion of, basically fairies
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ukol sa mga kuru-kuro sa mga diwata
09:33
who follow people around rubbing fairy juice on their projects and stuff.
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na bumubuntot sa mga tao sabay pahid ng fairy juice sa kanilang mga proyekto at kagamitan.
09:38
I'm not, probably, going to bring you all along with me on this.
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Marahil hindi ko kayo lahat mapapasang-ayon sa isiping ito.
09:43
But the question that I kind of want to pose is --
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Subalit ang tanong na nais ko sana iparating sa inyo ay -
09:45
you know, why not?
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bakit nga ba hindi?
09:48
Why not think about it this way?
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Bakit nga ba hindi natin isipin sa ganitong paraan?
09:49
Because it makes as much sense as anything else I have ever heard
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4112
Dahil sa ito ay syang pinakamakatwiran na sa lahat ng aking narinig
09:54
in terms of explaining the utter maddening capriciousness
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ukol sa pagpapaliwanag ng tila bagang nakakabaliw na kapritso
09:58
of the creative process.
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ng proseso ng paglikha.
09:59
A process which, as anybody who has ever tried to make something --
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Isang proseso, na marahil maipagpapatotoo ng ninuman na sumubok gumawa ng isang bagay -
10:02
which is to say basically everyone here ---
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at maaring, lahat ng nandidito -
10:04
knows does not always behave rationally.
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na hindi kailanman palaging makatwiran.
10:07
And, in fact, can sometimes feel downright paranormal.
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At, sa katunayan, ay minsan tila bagang lubos na paranormal.
10:12
I had this encounter recently where I met the extraordinary American poet Ruth Stone,
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Kamakailan lang, nakatagpo ko ang isang kahanga-hangang Amerikanang makata na si Ruth Stone,
10:18
who's now in her 90s, but she's been a poet her entire life
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na ngayon ay nasa 90 mahigit na, subalit naging isang makata sa buong buhay nya
10:20
and she told me that when she was growing up in rural Virginia,
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at kinwento nya sa akin na nuong kabataan nya sa lalawigan ng Virginia,
10:24
she would be out working in the fields,
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1601
minsan ay nasa kabukiran sya, nagtatrabaho,
10:25
and she said she would feel and hear a poem
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3157
at sabi nya'y minsan, mararamdaman nya at maririnig ang isang tula
10:28
coming at her from over the landscape.
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2007
na papalapit sa kanya mula sa malayong tanawin.
10:30
And she said it was like a thunderous train of air.
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3157
At sabi nya'y tila para etong isang dumadagundong na tren ng hangin.
10:34
And it would come barreling down at her over the landscape.
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At lubhang mabilis syang dadatnan nito mula sa malayo.
10:36
And she felt it coming, because it would shake the earth under her feet.
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3602
At mararamdaman nya itong papalapit, dahil niyayanig nito ang lupang kinatatayuan nya.
10:39
She knew that she had only one thing to do at that point,
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Alam nyang iisa lamang ang nararapat nyang gawin sa mga pagkakataon na iyon
10:43
and that was to, in her words, "run like hell."
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at iyon ay, ayun sa kanya, ang tumakbo na parang hinahabol ng demonyo.
10:45
And she would run like hell to the house
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At tatakbo sya ng ubod ng bilis papunta sa bahay nya
10:46
and she would be getting chased by this poem,
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1686
at hahabulin sya ng tulang ito
10:48
and the whole deal was that she had to get to a piece of paper and a pencil
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3130
at ang mahalaga sa lahat ay dapat makakuha sya ng papel at lapis
10:51
fast enough so that when it thundered through her, she could collect it
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nang mabilis upang kung dadatnan man sya nito ay matitipon nya ito
10:54
and grab it on the page.
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1501
at masusunggab nya ito at maisatitik sa papel.
10:56
And other times she wouldn't be fast enough,
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1955
At mayroong minsan na hindi sya ganoon kabilis,
10:58
so she'd be running and running and running, and she wouldn't get to the house
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3327
kung kaya't sya ay tatakbo at tatakbo at tatakbo, at hindi nya aabutin ang bahay nya
11:01
and the poem would barrel through her and she would miss it
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2838
at dadaanan lamang sya ng tula at hindi nya na ito mahuhuli pa
11:04
and she said it would continue on across the landscape,
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2288
at sabi nya'y magpapatuloy ito sa ibayong lugar,
11:06
looking, as she put it "for another poet."
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maghahanap, ayun sa kanya "ng ibang makata".
11:09
And then there were these times --
210
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2370
At mayroon ding mga pagkakataon -
11:12
this is the piece I never forgot --
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ito ang bahaging hindi ko makakalimutan -
11:14
she said that there were moments where she would almost miss it, right?
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3199
sabi nya, may mga sandaling kamuntik nya nang hindi mahuli ang isang tula.
11:17
So, she's running to the house and she's looking for the paper
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Kaya, sya ay tatakbo patungo sa bahay nya, at maghahanap sya ng papel
11:20
and the poem passes through her,
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at dadaanan sya ng tula,
11:22
and she grabs a pencil just as it's going through her,
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2934
at nakakuha sya ng lapis kasabay ng pagdaan ng tula sa kanyang gunita,
11:25
and then she said, it was like she would reach out with her other hand
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at ang sabi nya, ay tila parang aabutin ng kanyang isang kamay ang tula
11:27
and she would catch it.
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at mahuhuli nya ito.
11:29
She would catch the poem by its tail,
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Mahuhuli nya ang tula sa buntot,
11:31
and she would pull it backwards into her body
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2778
at hihilahin nya itong pabalik sa katawan nya
11:34
as she was transcribing on the page.
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1860
habang isinasalin nya ito sa papel.
11:36
And in these instances, the poem would come up on the page perfect and intact
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4855
At sa mga pagkakataong ito, mag-aanyong ganap at buo ang kanyang tula sa papel
11:41
but backwards, from the last word to the first.
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3405
subalit pabaliktad, na nagsimula sa huling salita hanggang sa una.
11:44
(Laughter)
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1712
(Tawanan)
11:46
So when I heard that I was like -- that's uncanny,
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4717
Kaya nung narinig ko ito, pakiramdam ko, lubhang kataka-taka eto,
11:50
that's exactly what my creative process is like.
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2501
sapagkat ganitong ganito ang paraan ng aking paglikha.
11:53
(Laughter)
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(Tawanan)
11:57
That's not at all what my creative process is -- I'm not the pipeline!
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3066
Hindi iyon ang buod ng proseso ng aking paglikha - hindi ako ang tubo at daan!
12:00
I'm a mule, and the way that I have to work
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1854
Ako ay parang mula, at ang paraan ng aking paggawa
12:01
is that I have to get up at the same time every day,
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1667
ay kailangan ako gumising sa parehong oras araw-araw,
12:03
and sweat and labor and barrel through it really awkwardly.
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2797
at maghirap at gumawa at piliting gumawa bagamat saliwa.
12:06
But even I, in my mulishness,
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3000
Subalit kahit ako, sa aking pagiging mala-mula,
12:09
even I have brushed up against that thing, at times.
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3868
naranasan at naramdaman ko din ang bagay na iyon, paminsan.
12:13
And I would imagine that a lot of you have too.
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At palagay ko marami sa inyo ang nakaranas din nito.
12:15
You know, even I have had work or ideas come through me from a source
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3609
Alam nyo, kahit ako ay nagakaroon din ng mga likha at ideya na tila nanggaling mula sa isang bukal
12:18
that I honestly cannot identify.
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2511
na sa totoo lang ay hindi ko mawari kung ano.
12:21
And what is that thing?
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At ano ang bagay na ito?
12:22
And how are we to relate to it in a way that will not make us lose our minds,
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4038
At paano tayo makikipag-ugnayan sa bagay na ito nang hindi nawawalan ng bait at tamang pag-iisip,
12:26
but, in fact, might actually keep us sane?
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2886
subalit datapawat makakatulong pa sa atin upang panatiliin ang ating katinuan?
12:29
And for me, the best contemporary example that I have of how to do that
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737083
3779
At para sa akin, ang pinakamainam na ehemplo sa panahon nating ito kung paano gagawin iyon
12:33
is the musician Tom Waits,
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2332
ay ang musikerong si Tom Waits,
12:35
who I got to interview several years ago on a magazine assignment.
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4541
na nakapanayam ko ilang taon ang nakalilipas para sa isang magasin.
12:40
And we were talking about this,
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1249
At pinag-uusapan namin ito,
12:41
and you know, Tom, for most of his life he was pretty much the embodiment
243
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3713
at alam nyo, si Tom, halos sa buong buhay nya ay syang larawan
12:45
of the tormented contemporary modern artist,
244
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1924
ng isang naliligalig na modernong manlilikha,
12:47
trying to control and manage and dominate
245
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2623
na nagsusumikap kontrolin at pamahalaan at pangibabawan
12:50
these sort of uncontrollable creative impulses
246
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2474
ang mga gantong hindi mapigil na udyok ng paglikha
12:52
that were totally internalized.
247
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1887
na higit na lubhang panloob at pansarili.
12:54
But then he got older, he got calmer,
248
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2005
Subalit sa pagtanda nya, naging kalmado na sya,
12:56
and one day he was driving down the freeway in Los Angeles he told me,
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2923
at isang araw habang nagmamaneho sya sa freeway ng Los Angeles, ang kwento nya,
12:59
and this is when it all changed for him.
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1840
at sa pagkakataon na to nagbago ang lahat para sa kanya.
13:01
And he's speeding along, and all of a sudden
251
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1991
Habang humaharurot sya sa daan, bigla na lang
13:03
he hears this little fragment of melody,
252
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3741
may narinig syang mumunting kapiraso ng himig
13:06
that comes into his head as inspiration often comes, elusive and tantalizing,
253
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4029
na pumasok sa isipin nya pares ng pagdating minsan ng isang inspirasyon, mailap at mapanukso,
13:10
and he wants it, you know, it's gorgeous,
254
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2128
at gusto nya ito, alam nyo na, dahil sa ito'y maganda,
13:13
and he longs for it, but he has no way to get it.
255
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2071
at inaasam nya ito, subalit wala syang paraan upang kuhanin eto.
13:15
He doesn't have a piece of paper, he doesn't have a pencil,
256
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1868
Wala syang papel, wala syang lapis,
13:17
he doesn't have a tape recorder.
257
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1451
wala syang tape rekorder.
13:18
So he starts to feel all of that old anxiety start to rise in him
258
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2968
Kung kaya't unti-unti na naman nyang nararamdaman ang dating pagkabalisa
13:21
like, "I'm going to lose this thing,
259
788620
1991
gaya ng, "hindi ko na maaalala ang bagay na ito mamya,
13:23
and then I'm going to be haunted by this song forever.
260
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1920
at habambuhay na akong mumultuhin nito.
13:25
I'm not good enough, and I can't do it."
261
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1771
Hindi ako ganun kagaling, at hindi ko kayang gawin ito."
13:27
And instead of panicking, he just stopped.
262
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2392
Subalit sa halip na mataranta, ay tumigil lamang sya.
13:29
He just stopped that whole mental process
263
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1748
Tinigil nya lamang ang buong proseso ng pag-iisip
13:31
and he did something completely novel.
264
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2155
at tsaka nya ginawa ang isang kakaibang bagay.
13:33
He just looked up at the sky, and he said,
265
800597
2722
Tumingin sya sa langit, at sabi,
13:36
"Excuse me, can you not see that I'm driving?"
266
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3014
"Mawalang galang po, hindi nyo ba nakikita na ako'y nagmamaneho?"
13:39
(Laughter)
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3701
(Tawanan)
13:42
"Do I look like I can write down a song right now?
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2734
"Tingin nyo ba nasa kalagayan ako ngayon na makapagsulat ng kanta?
13:45
If you really want to exist, come back at a more opportune moment
269
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3845
Kung gusto mo talaga magmeron, bumalik ka sa mas akmang oras
13:49
when I can take care of you.
270
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1662
kung kelan mahaharap kita at maasikaso.
13:51
Otherwise, go bother somebody else today.
271
818275
3077
Kung hindi, iba na lang ang istorbohin mo ngayon.
13:54
Go bother Leonard Cohen."
272
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3296
Umalis ka't abalahin mo si Leonard Cohen."
13:57
And his whole work process changed after that.
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3132
At ang buo nyang paraan ng paglikha ay nagbago pagkatapos nun.
14:00
Not the work, the work was still oftentimes as dark as ever.
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3608
Hindi ang gawang-sining, ang mga likha nya ay minsan singdilim pa din ng dati.
14:04
But the process, and the heavy anxiety around it
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3059
Kundi ang proseso, at ang mabigat na pagkaligalig na kaakibat nito
14:07
was released when he took the genie, the genius out of him
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2986
napakawalan nung kinuha nya ang genie, ang henyo palayo sa kanya
14:10
where it was causing nothing but trouble, and released it kind of back where it came from,
277
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3371
dahil sa wala nang ginawa ang henyo kundi manggulo, at nung pinakawalan nya bumalik eto mula sa pinanggalingan,
14:13
and realized that this didn't have to be this internalized, tormented thing.
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3556
at napagtanto nya na hindi naman kinakailangan na maging isa etong panloob na paghihirap.
14:17
It could be this peculiar, wondrous, bizarre collaboration
279
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3744
Maari naman etong maging katangi-tangi, nakakamangha, kakaibang pagtutulungan
14:20
kind of conversation between Tom and the strange, external thing
280
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4132
parabagang pakikipag-usap sa pagitan ni Tom at ng kakaibang eksternal na bagay
14:25
that was not quite Tom.
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2376
na parang si Tom subalit hindi lubos na sya.
14:27
So when I heard that story it started to shift a little bit
282
854612
2706
Kung kaya nung narinig ko ang kwentong iyon, nagsimula ring mag-iba ng direksyon
14:30
the way that I worked too, and it already saved me once.
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2629
ang paraan ng aking paglikha, at naligtas na ako nito ng mahigit isang beses.
14:32
This idea, it saved me when I was in the middle of writing "Eat, Pray, Love,"
284
859947
3331
Ang ideyang ito ang nagligtas sa akin sa gitna ng pagsusulat ko ng "Eat, Pray, Love"
14:36
and I fell into one of those, sort of pits of despair
285
863278
2588
nung naranasan ko ang mawalan ng pag-asa
14:38
that we all fall into when we're working on something and it's not coming
286
865866
3341
na malimit nating nararanasan sa mga panahong may ginagawa tayo at hindi lumalabas ang gusto natin gawin
14:42
and you start to think this is going to be a disaster,
287
869207
2242
at nagsisimula kang mag-isip na magiging isa etong disastre,
14:44
this is going to be the worst book ever written.
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1761
na ito ang pinakamalalang libro na naisulat sa simulat sapul.
14:46
Not just bad, but the worst book ever written.
289
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2147
Hindi lang pangit kundi pinakamalalang librong naisulat.
14:48
And I started to think I should just dump this project.
290
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3962
At nagsimula akong mag-isip na i-abandona na ang proyekting ito.
14:52
But then I remembered Tom talking to the open air
291
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3075
Subalit naalala ko si Tom, kausap ang hangin
14:55
and I tried it.
292
882394
2048
at sinubukan ko ito.
14:57
So I just lifted my face up from the manuscript
293
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2492
Kung kaya't inangat ko ang mukha ko mula sa manuskrito
14:59
and I directed my comments to an empty corner of the room.
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2930
at itinuon ko ang aking mga puna sa isang bakanteng sulok sa kwarto.
15:02
And I said aloud, "Listen you, thing,
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At sa malakas na boses, sabi ko, "Makinig ka, ikaw na bagay,
15:06
you and I both know that if this book isn't brilliant
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alam nating dalawa na kung ang librong ito ay hindi magaling
15:09
that is not entirely my fault, right?
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ang kasalanan ay hindi pawang akin lamang, hindi ba?
15:11
Because you can see that I am putting everything I have into this,
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Dahil nakikita mo na ibinibigay ko ang lahat ng meron ako sa librong ito,
15:14
I don't have any more than this.
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Wala na akong maibibigay pa liban nito.
15:15
So if you want it to be better, then you've got to show up and do your part of the deal.
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Kaya kung gusto mo maging mas magaling, kailangan mong magmeron at gawin ang trabaho mo.
15:19
O.K. But if you don't do that, you know what, the hell with it.
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Sige. Kung ayaw mo man magpakitang gilas, bahala na nga.
15:22
I'm going to keep writing anyway because that's my job.
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Ipagpapatuloy ko pa rin ang aking pagsusulat dahil ito naman ang aking trabaho.
15:25
And I would please like the record to reflect today
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At pakiusap lang na pakitala sa araw na ito
15:26
that I showed up for my part of the job."
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na nagpakita ako at ginawa ang trabaho ko."
15:29
(Laughter)
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(Tawanan)
15:32
Because --
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Dahil --
15:35
(Applause)
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(Palakpakan)
15:37
in the end it's like this, O.K. --
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sa huli, parang ganto, OK -
15:39
centuries ago in the deserts of North Africa,
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sa desyerto ng North Africa ilang siglo na nakalilipas,
15:41
people used to gather for these moonlight dances of sacred dance and music
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ang mga tao'y kalimitan nagtitipun-tipon sa gabing bilog ang buwan para sa mga sagradong sayaw at musika
15:46
that would go on for hours and hours, until dawn.
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na maaring magtuluy-tuloy ng ilang oras, hanggang madaling-araw.
15:49
And they were always magnificent, because the dancers were professionals
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At lahat ng mga ito'y kahanga-hanga, dahil ang mga mananayaw ay propesyonal
15:52
and they were terrific, right?
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at sila'y lubhang magaling.
15:53
But every once in a while, very rarely, something would happen,
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Subalit paminsan-minsan, sa mga lubhang bihirang pagkakataon, may nangyayari,
15:57
and one of these performers would actually become transcendent.
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at isa sa mga mananayaw ay nagiging transendente.
16:00
And I know you know what I'm talking about,
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At alam nyo kung ano ang gusto ko tukuyin,
16:02
because I know you've all seen, at some point in your life, a performance like this.
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dahil alam kong kayong lahat ay nakakita, minsan sa inyong buhay, ng isang palabas na ganto.
16:06
It was like time would stop,
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Tila bagang huminto ang oras,
16:08
and the dancer would sort of step through some kind of portal
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at ang mananayaw ay pumasok sa tila isang lagusan
16:11
and he wasn't doing anything different than he had ever done, 1,000 nights before,
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kahit wala naman syang ginawang kakaiba sa karaniwan, isang libong gabi ang nakalilipas,
16:15
but everything would align.
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subalit ang lahat ay humahanay.
16:17
And all of a sudden, he would no longer appear to be merely human.
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At sa isang kisapmata, tila sya ay hindi na isang karaniwang tao lamang.
16:20
He would be lit from within, and lit from below
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Sya ay tila may ilaw sa loob, at sa ilalim
16:23
and all lit up on fire with divinity.
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at ang buo nyang katawang lupa ay tila inilawan ng dibinidad.
16:26
And when this happened, back then,
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At sa tuwing nangyayari ito nuon,
16:29
people knew it for what it was, you know, they called it by its name.
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alam ng mga tao kung ano ito, alam nyo, tinatawag nila ito sa pangalan.
16:33
They would put their hands together and they would start to chant,
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Maghahawak-kamay sila at magsisimula silang padasal na umawit,
16:35
"Allah, Allah, Allah, God, God, God."
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"Allah, Allah, Allah, Panginoon, Panginoon, Panginoon."
16:40
That's God, you know.
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Yun ang Panginoon.
16:43
Curious historical footnote --
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Isang nakakatuwang talababa sa kasaysayan -
16:45
when the Moors invaded southern Spain, they took this custom with them
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nuong sinakop ng mga Moors ang timog Espanya, dinala nila ang kanilang kaugalian
16:50
and the pronunciation changed over the centuries
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at ang pagkabigkas ay nagbago matapos ang ilang mga siglo
16:52
from "Allah, Allah, Allah," to "Olé, olé, olé,"
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mula sa "Allah, Allah, Allah", eto ay naging "Ole, ole, ole"
16:55
which you still hear in bullfights and in flamenco dances.
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na hanggang ngayon ay maririnig nyo sa mga labanan ng toro at sa mga sayaw ng plamengko.
16:58
In Spain, when a performer has done something impossible and magic,
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Sa Espanya, kapagka ang mananayaw ay may nagawang tila impossible at puno ng mahika,
17:02
"Allah, olé, olé, Allah, magnificent, bravo,"
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"Allah, ole, ole, Allah, lubos na kahanga-hanga, bravo,"
17:05
incomprehensible, there it is -- a glimpse of God.
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hindi kayang unawain, ito iyon - isang sulyap sa Panginoon.
17:09
Which is great, because we need that.
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At ito'y kahanga-hanga, dahil kailangan natin ito.
17:11
But, the tricky bit comes the next morning,
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Subalit ang mahirap na bahagi ay ang pagdating ng kinaumagahan,
17:15
for the dancer himself, when he wakes up
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para sa mananayaw, pagkagising nya
17:18
and discovers that it's Tuesday at 11 a.m., and he's no longer a glimpse of God.
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at nadiskubre nyang Martes na at alas-onse ng umaga, at hindi na sya isang banaag ng Panginoon.
17:22
He's just an aging mortal with really bad knees,
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Na sya ay isa lamang tumatandang mortal na may lubhang nananakit na tuhod,
17:25
and maybe he's never going to ascend to that height again.
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at maaring hindi na sya muli man aangat pa sa tugatog na iyon.
17:29
And maybe nobody will ever chant God's name again as he spins,
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At maaring wala na ulit aawit ng padasal, sambit ang ngalan ng Panginoon habang sya'y sumasayaw,
17:33
and what is he then to do with the rest of his life?
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At ano ngayon ang gagawin nya sa nalalabi ng buhay nya?
17:36
This is hard.
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Mahirap ito.
17:37
This is one of the most painful reconciliations to make
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Ito ang isa mga pinakamasakit na pagkakasundong ginagawa
17:40
in a creative life.
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sa paglikha.
17:42
But maybe it doesn't have to be quite so full of anguish
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Subalit maari naman na hindi na maging lubhang puno ng dalamhati
17:45
if you never happened to believe, in the first place,
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kung sa una pa lang, hindi ka naniniwala
17:49
that the most extraordinary aspects of your being came from you.
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na ang mga higit na kahanga-hangang aspeto ng iyong pagkatao ay hindi nanggagaling sayo.
17:53
But maybe if you just believed that they were on loan to you
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Subalit, siguro kung nanininiwala ka na ang mga ito ay pinahiram lamang sayo
17:56
from some unimaginable source for some exquisite portion of your life
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mula sa isang 'di mawaring pinagmulan para sa natatanging parte ng buhay mo
17:59
to be passed along when you're finished, with somebody else.
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na sa kalaunan ay ipapasa mo din sa ibang tao kapagka ikaw ay tapos na.
18:03
And, you know, if we think about it this way it starts to change everything.
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At, alam nyo, kung sa ganitong paraan tayo mag-iisip, magsisimulang magbago ang lahat.
18:08
This is how I've started to think,
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Sa ganitong paraan na ako nagsimulang mag-isip,
18:10
and this is certainly how I've been thinking in the last few months
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at tiyak na sa ganitong paraan ako nag-iisip nitong mga nagdaan na buwan
18:13
as I've been working on the book that will soon be published,
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habang ginagawa ko ang isang libro na malapit nang ilathala,
18:16
as the dangerously, frighteningly over-anticipated follow up
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bilang syang peligroso, nakakatakot na lubos na inaabangan na kasunod
18:20
to my freakish success.
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sa aking nakakatakot na tagumpay.
18:22
And what I have to, sort of keep telling myself
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At ano ang kailangan kong gawing, tila parang palagi kong pinagsasabihan ang sarili ko
18:25
when I get really psyched out about that,
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kapagka minsan natotorete na ako sa pag-iisip,
18:27
is, don't be afraid.
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na hindi ako dapat matakot.
18:29
Don't be daunted.
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Hindi dapat panghinaan ng loob.
18:31
Just do your job.
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Gawin lamang ang trabaho.
18:33
Continue to show up for your piece of it, whatever that might be.
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Patuloy na magpakita para gawin ang bahagi mo, kahit ano man ito.
18:36
If your job is to dance, do your dance.
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Kung ang trabaho mo man ay sumayaw, sumayaw ka lang.
18:39
If the divine, cockeyed genius assigned to your case
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Kung ang banal na henyo na nakatalaga sayo
18:43
decides to let some sort of wonderment be glimpsed, for just one moment
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ay nagpasya na hayaang ipasulyap ang nakakamangha, kahit sandali lang
18:48
through your efforts, then "Olé!"
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dahil sa pagsisikap mo, kung gayon man, "Ole!"
18:50
And if not, do your dance anyhow.
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Kung hindi man, sumayaw ka pa rin.
18:53
And "Olé!" to you, nonetheless.
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At "Ole!" pa rin sayo, gayunpaman.
18:55
I believe this and I feel that we must teach it.
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Naniniwala ako dito at nararamdaman ko dapat natin ito ituro.
18:57
"Olé!" to you, nonetheless,
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"Ole!" sayo, kahit ano pa man,
18:59
just for having the sheer human love and stubbornness
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kahit man lang sa pagkakaron ng lubos na pag-ibig at kasutilan
19:02
to keep showing up.
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sa patuloy na pagpapakita.
19:04
Thank you.
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Maraming salamat.
19:06
(Applause)
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(Palakpak)
19:08
Thank you.
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Maraming salamat.
19:09
(Applause)
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(Palakpak)
19:12
June Cohen: Olé!
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June Cohen: Ole!
19:14
(Applause)
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(Palakpak)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Elizabeth Gilbert - WriterThe author of 'Eat, Pray, Love,' Elizabeth Gilbert has thought long and hard about some big topics. Her fascinations: genius, creativity and how we get in our own way when it comes to both.
Why you should listen
Elizabeth Gilbert faced down a premidlife crisis by doing what we all secretly dream of -- running off for a year. Her travels through Italy, India and Indonesia resulted in the megabestselling and deeply beloved memoir Eat, Pray, Love, about her process of finding herself by leaving home.
She's a longtime magazine writer -- covering music and politics for Spin and GQ -- as well as a novelist and short-story writer. Her books include the story collection Pilgrims, the novel Stern Men (about lobster fishermen in Maine) and a biography of the woodsman Eustace Conway, called The Last American Man. Her work has been the basis for two movies so far (Coyote Ugly, based on her own tale of working at the famously raunchy bar in New York City), and Eat, Pray, Love, with the part of Gilbert played by Julia Roberts. Not bad for a year off.
In 2010, Elizabeth published Committed, a memoir exploring her ambivalent feelings about the institution of marriage. And her 2013 novel, The Signature of All Things, is "a sprawling tale of 19th century botanical exploration."
Gilbert also owns and runs the import shop Two Buttons in Frenchtown, New Jersey.
Elizabeth Gilbert | Speaker | TED.com