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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: We should all be feminists
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: 我们都应成为女权主义者 我们都应成为女权主义者
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我们教育女孩可以有野心，但是不要太大……可以成功，但是不要过于成功，否则就会对男人构成威胁，演讲者 Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie 说。在这场经典的演讲中 Adichie 从女权主义的全球大讨论开始，呼吁我们开始梦想并规划一个不同的、更加公平的世界——男人和女人都更加的快乐和真我。
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - Novelist
Inspired by Nigerian history and tragedies all but forgotten by recent generations of westerners, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s novels and stories are jewels in the crown of diasporan literature. Full bio
Inspired by Nigerian history and tragedies all but forgotten by recent generations of westerners, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s novels and stories are jewels in the crown of diasporan literature. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
So I would like to start by telling you
about one of my greatest friends,
about one of my greatest friends,
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今天我打算从一个我最好的朋友开始讲起，
00:17
Okoloma Maduewesi.
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他叫 Okoloma Maduewesi。
00:19
Okoloma lived on my street
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Okoloma 跟我住一个街区
00:21
and looked after me like a big brother.
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像大哥哥一样照顾我。
00:23
If I liked a boy,
I would ask Okoloma's opinion.
I would ask Okoloma's opinion.
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像是暗恋这样的事情我都会问Okoloma的意见。
00:28
Okoloma died in the notorious
Sosoliso plane crash
Sosoliso plane crash
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Okoloma死于尼日利亚Sosoliso空难
00:32
in Nigeria in December of 2005.
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时间是2005年12月。
00:35
Almost exactly seven years ago.
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差不多已经快七年了。
00:38
Okoloma was a person I could argue with,
laugh with and truly talk to.
laugh with and truly talk to.
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我跟Okoloma无话不谈，毫无保留。
00:43
He was also the first person
to call me a feminist.
to call me a feminist.
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他也是第一个称我为“女权主义者”的人。
00:47
I was about fourteen,
we were at his house, arguing.
we were at his house, arguing.
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当时我才14岁，在他的家里争论某些话题。
00:50
Both of us bristling
with half bit knowledge
with half bit knowledge
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当时我们因为对书中知识的理解不同
00:53
from books that we had read.
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而争的面红耳赤。
00:55
I don't remember what this
particular argument was about,
particular argument was about,
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我已经忘记当时争论的是什么了，
00:59
but I remember
that as I argued and argued,
that as I argued and argued,
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但是我记得吵着吵着，
01:01
Okoloma looked at me and said,
"You know, you're a feminist."
"You know, you're a feminist."
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Okoloma看着我说：
“你知道嘛？你是个女权主义者。”
“你知道嘛？你是个女权主义者。”
01:05
It was not a compliment.
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这可不是在夸奖我。
01:07
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
01:08
I could tell from his tone,
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我来形容一下他的语气，
01:09
the same tone that you would use
to say something like,
to say something like,
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大概类似于现在这个时代说
01:12
"You're a supporter of terrorism."
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“你支持者恐怖主义”一样。
01:14
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
01:17
I did not know exactly
what this word "feminist" meant,
what this word "feminist" meant,
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我当时不知道女权主义者是什么意思，
01:20
and I did not want Okoloma
to know that I did not know.
to know that I did not know.
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我更不想让Okoloma发现我不知道。
01:24
So I brushed it aside,
and I continued to argue.
and I continued to argue.
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所以我当时没接这个话茬，
继续争论之前的话题。
继续争论之前的话题。
01:27
And the first thing
I planned to do when I got home
I planned to do when I got home
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当我回到家的第一件事情
01:29
was to look up the word
"feminist" in the dictionary.
"feminist" in the dictionary.
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就是去字典里查“女权主义者”是什么意思。
01:32
Now fast forward to some years later,
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时间快进到若干年后，
01:35
I wrote a novel about a man
who among other things beats his wife
who among other things beats his wife
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我写了一本书，情节包含了
一个男人打自己的老婆
一个男人打自己的老婆
01:39
and whose story doesn't end very well.
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然后（他的）下场不是很好。
01:42
While I was promoting
the novel in Nigeria,
the novel in Nigeria,
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当我在尼日利亚为小说进行宣传时，
01:44
a journalist, a nice, well-meaning man,
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一个记者，一位善良好心的男人，
01:47
told me he wanted to advise me.
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告诉我他希望给我一点建议。
01:51
And for the Nigerians here,
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我想在座的尼日利亚人
01:52
I'm sure we're all familiar
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一定都非常熟悉
01:54
with how quick our people are
to give unsolicited advice.
to give unsolicited advice.
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我们的同胞是多么急切地要提供建议。
02:01
He told me that people were saying
that my novel was feminist
that my novel was feminist
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他告诉我说人们觉得我的小说是女权主义的
02:05
and his advice to me --
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并且他建议我——
02:06
and he was shaking his head
sadly as he spoke --
sadly as he spoke --
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当他说的时候悲伤的摇着头——
02:10
was that I should never
call myself a feminist
call myself a feminist
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我应该再也不要提及自己是女权主义者
02:12
because feminists
are women who are unhappy
are women who are unhappy
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因为女权主义者都是一些不开心的女人
02:14
because they cannot find husbands.
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因为她们找不到丈夫。
02:16
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
02:21
So I decided to call myself
"a happy feminist."
"a happy feminist."
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所以我开始称自己为
“快乐的女权主义者”
“快乐的女权主义者”
02:25
Then an academic, a Nigerian woman told me
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后来一位学者，一位尼日利亚的女性告诉我
02:27
that feminism was not our culture
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女权主义不是我们文化的一部分，
02:29
and that feminism wasn't African,
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女权主义也不是非洲的，
02:31
and that I was calling myself a feminist
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我之所以自称女权主义者
02:33
because I had been corrupted
by "Western books."
by "Western books."
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是因为我看了太多“西方的书”。
02:36
Which amused me,
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这个说法让我觉得很有趣，
02:37
because a lot of my early readings
were decidedly unfeminist.
were decidedly unfeminist.
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因为我早年阅读的那些书
百分百跟女权主义无关。
百分百跟女权主义无关。
02:40
I think I must have read every single
Mills & Boon romance published
Mills & Boon romance published
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我想我一定是在我16岁之前就已经通读了
02:43
before I was sixteen.
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Mills & Boon 出版的所有书籍
02:45
And each time I tried to read those books
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每当我打算阅读那些书
02:47
called "the feminist classics,"
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那些”女权主义经典“
02:49
I'd get bored, and I really
struggled to finish them.
struggled to finish them.
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我都会觉得很无聊，很难看下去。
02:52
But anyway, since feminism was un-African,
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但是不管怎样，既然女权主义不是非洲的，
02:55
I decided that I would now call myself
"a happy African feminist."
"a happy African feminist."
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我决定称自己为
“快乐的非洲女权主义者”
“快乐的非洲女权主义者”
02:59
At some point I was a happy African
feminist who does not hate men
feminist who does not hate men
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现在我变成了一个不讨厌男人的
快乐的非洲女权主义者
快乐的非洲女权主义者
03:04
and who likes lip gloss
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喜欢涂润唇膏
03:05
and who wears high heels
for herself but not for men.
for herself but not for men.
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根据自己而不是男人的喜好来穿高跟鞋。
03:08
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
03:09
Of course a lot of this
was tongue-in-cheek,
was tongue-in-cheek,
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当然我刚才很多话都是半开玩笑的，
03:12
but that word feminist is so heavy
with baggage, negative baggage.
with baggage, negative baggage.
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但是“女权主义者”这个词带着
很多负面的历史包袱。
很多负面的历史包袱。
03:16
You hate men, you hate bras,
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你厌恶男人，你厌恶文胸，
03:19
you hate African culture,
that sort of thing.
that sort of thing.
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你厌恶非洲文化，如此种种。
03:22
Now here's a story from my childhood.
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我要讲一个我小时候的故事。
03:25
When I was in primary school,
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当我上小学的时候，
03:26
my teacher said at the beginning of term
that she would give the class a test
that she would give the class a test
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我的老师说在开学时会有一场考试
03:31
and whoever got the highest score
would be the class monitor.
would be the class monitor.
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考试分数最高的人将当上班长。
03:34
Now, class monitor was a big deal.
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各位，当班长可是件大事。
03:37
If you were a class monitor,
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一旦你当上了班长，
03:39
you got to write down
the names of noisemakers --
the names of noisemakers --
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你就有权把捣蛋的小朋友记下来
03:41
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
03:43
which was having enough power of its own.
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这个权力可是很大的哦。
03:46
But my teacher would also give you
a cane to hold in your hand
a cane to hold in your hand
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而且我的老师还会拿根教鞭交给班长
03:51
while you walk around
and patrol the class for noisemakers.
and patrol the class for noisemakers.
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在班级里巡逻揪出捣蛋鬼的时候攥在手里
03:55
Now, of course you were not
actually allowed to use the cane.
actually allowed to use the cane.
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当然，使用教鞭打人是被禁止的。
03:58
But it was an exciting prospect
for the nine-year-old me.
for the nine-year-old me.
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对于9岁的我来说太激动人心了
04:02
I very much wanted
to be the class monitor.
to be the class monitor.
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我非常想当上班长。
04:05
And I got the highest score on the test.
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而且我也顺利考到了第一名。
04:07
Then, to my surprise, my teacher said
that the monitor had to be a boy.
that the monitor had to be a boy.
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然后我非常惊讶的听老师说，
班长必须是男孩。
班长必须是男孩。
04:12
She had forgotten
to make that clear earlier
to make that clear earlier
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她在考试前忘记澄清了
04:14
because she assumed it was ... obvious.
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因为她觉得这是很……自然的。
04:16
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
04:18
A boy had the second highest
score on the test,
score on the test,
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第二名是个男孩，
04:21
and he would be monitor.
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他被提名当班长。
04:23
Now, what was even more
interesting about this
interesting about this
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有意思的是
04:26
is that the boy was a sweet, gentle soul
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这个男孩很温和腼腆，
04:30
who had no interest
in patrolling the class with the cane,
in patrolling the class with the cane,
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并没有兴趣拿着教鞭在教室巡逻，
04:34
while I was full of ambition to do so.
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而我则非常渴望能这么做。
04:38
But I was female and he was male,
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但是我是女孩他是男孩，
04:40
and so he became the class monitor.
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所以他当上了班长。
04:43
And I've never forgotten that incident.
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这件事情我一辈子都不会忘。
04:46
I often make the mistake of thinking
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我经常犯的一个思维的误区
04:48
that something that is obvious to me
is just as obvious to everyone else.
is just as obvious to everyone else.
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是我觉得对我而言非常明显的道理
对别人并不是自然而然的。
对别人并不是自然而然的。
04:51
Now, take my dear friend Louis
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让我以我的好朋友 Louis
04:53
for example.
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举个例子。
04:54
Louis is a brilliant, progressive man,
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Louis 是一个聪明有上进心的男人，
04:56
and we would have conversations
and he would tell me,
and he would tell me,
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当我们聊天的时候他时常跟我说，
04:58
"I don't know what you mean by things
being different or harder for women.
being different or harder for women.
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“我不知道你为什么老说
女人做起事情更加困难”
女人做起事情更加困难”
05:02
Maybe in the past, but not now."
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“过去或许是，但是现在已经不同了。”
05:05
And I didn't understand how Louis
could not see what seems so self-evident.
could not see what seems so self-evident.
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我不理解Louis怎么会看不到如此明显的事实。
05:10
Then one evening, in Lagos,
Louis and I went out with friends.
Louis and I went out with friends.
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有天晚上，我跟Louis在拉各斯市
（尼日利亚首都）跟朋友聚会。
（尼日利亚首都）跟朋友聚会。
05:14
And for people here
who are not familiar with Lagos,
who are not familiar with Lagos,
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各位可能不太熟悉拉各斯市，
05:16
there's that wonderful Lagos' fixture,
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这个城市的标志性组成之一，
05:18
the sprinkling of energetic men
who hang around outside establishments
who hang around outside establishments
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就是散布在各个建筑外的
精力充沛的男人
精力充沛的男人
05:23
and very dramatically
"help" you park your car.
"help" you park your car.
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举止非常夸张地“帮助”你泊车。
05:28
I was impressed
with the particular theatrics
with the particular theatrics
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我那天对于帮助我们找到停车位的
05:31
of the man who found us
a parking spot that evening.
a parking spot that evening.
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那个男人的行为表现非常满意。
05:34
And so as we were leaving,
I decided to leave him a tip.
I decided to leave him a tip.
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所以当我从车上下来之后我决定给小费。
05:38
I opened my bag,
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我打开我的包，
05:40
put my hand inside my bag,
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把我的手伸进我的包，
05:41
brought out my money
that I had earned from doing my work,
that I had earned from doing my work,
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拿出我的钱，
05:45
and I gave it to the man.
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然后给了那个男人。
05:47
And he, this man who was
very grateful and very happy,
very grateful and very happy,
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这个男人非常地感激和开心，
05:52
took the money from me,
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从我手里拿到了钱，
05:53
looked across at Louis
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（却）把目光投向Louis
05:55
and said, "Thank you, sir!"
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说道，“谢谢您，先生！”
05:57
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
06:03
Louis looked at me, surprised,
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Louis很惊讶的看着我，
06:06
and asked, "Why is he thanking me?
I didn't give him the money."
I didn't give him the money."
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问，“为什么他要感谢我？
又不是我给他的钱。”
又不是我给他的钱。”
06:10
Then I saw realization
dawn on Louis' face.
dawn on Louis' face.
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然后我看到Louis恍然大悟的表情。
06:15
The man believed that whatever money I had
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那个男人相信我手里的钱
06:17
had ultimately come from Louis.
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最终都是来自于身边的男人Louis的。
06:21
Because Louis is a man.
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就因为Louis是男的。
06:24
Men and women are different.
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男人和女人是不同的。
06:26
We have different hormones,
we have different sexual organs,
we have different sexual organs,
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我们有不同的荷尔蒙，
有不同的性器官，
有不同的性器官，
06:29
we have different biological abilities.
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在生理能力上也各有千秋。
06:31
Women can have babies, men can't.
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女人可以生孩子，男人不行。
06:34
At least not yet.
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至少现在不行。
06:36
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
06:37
Men have testosterone and are
in general physically stronger than women.
in general physically stronger than women.
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男人有睾丸酮，身体比女人更强壮有力。
06:42
There's slightly more women
than men in the world,
than men in the world,
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女人的数量比男人稍多一些，
06:45
about 52 percent of the world's
population is female.
population is female.
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全球大概52%是女性。
06:48
But most of the positions of power
and prestige are occupied by men.
and prestige are occupied by men.
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但是男人攫取了绝大部分权力和威望。
06:52
The late Kenyan Nobel Peace laureate,
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那位肯尼亚诺贝尔和平奖得主
06:55
Wangari Maathai,
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Wangari Waathai，
06:56
put it simply and well when she said:
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她阐述的非常明确：
06:59
"The higher you go,
the fewer women there are."
the fewer women there are."
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“当你爬的越高，你发现女人越少。”
07:03
In the recent US elections we kept hearing
of the Lilly Ledbetter law,
of the Lilly Ledbetter law,
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在最近的（2016年）美国大选中
Lilly Ledbetter 法案经常被提到，
Lilly Ledbetter 法案经常被提到，
07:08
and if we go beyond the nicely
alliterative name of that law,
alliterative name of that law,
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这个法案的名字虽然好玩，
但是进一步了解你会发现
但是进一步了解你会发现
07:12
it was really about a man and a woman
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这实际上是说一个男人和女人
07:14
doing the same job,
being equally qualified,
being equally qualified,
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如果工作内容和产出都相同，
07:16
and the man being paid more
because he's a man.
because he's a man.
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那么男人会拿到更多的薪酬，
仅仅因为他是男人。
仅仅因为他是男人。
07:20
So in the literal way, men rule the world,
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所以，男人真的掌控着世界，
07:23
and this made sense a thousand years ago
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而且数千年前这样是合理的，
07:27
because human beings lived then in a world
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因为人类生存的环境，
07:30
in which physical strength was
the most important attribute for survival.
the most important attribute for survival.
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当务之急是在恶劣环境中求生存。
07:34
The physically stronger person
was more likely to lead,
was more likely to lead,
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身体强壮的人更可能做首领，
07:39
and men, in general,
are physically stronger.
are physically stronger.
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而男人身体普遍更强壮。
07:41
Of course there are many exceptions.
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当然也有很多男人很虚。
07:43
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
07:45
But today we live
in a vastly different world.
in a vastly different world.
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但是今天我们生活在完全不同的世界。
07:49
The person more likely to lead
is not the physically stronger person;
is not the physically stronger person;
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现在成为首领的要素，
已经不再是身体强壮，
已经不再是身体强壮，
07:53
it is the more creative person,
the more intelligent person,
the more intelligent person,
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而是要求有创造力，更加睿智，
07:57
the more innovative person,
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更加有创新精神的人，
07:59
and there are no hormones
for those attributes.
for those attributes.
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这些特质都不受荷尔蒙的支配。
08:02
A man is as likely as a woman
to be intelligent,
to be intelligent,
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在智力上男人女人没有什么差异，
08:05
to be creative, to be innovative.
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在创新和创造能力上也是如此。
08:07
We have evolved;
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我们在进化；
08:09
but it seems to me that our ideas
of gender had not evolved.
of gender had not evolved.
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但是看起来我们的性别观忘记进化了。
08:13
Some weeks ago, I walked into a lobby
of one of the best Nigerian hotels.
of one of the best Nigerian hotels.
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几周前，我走进一个酒店大厅，那是
尼日利亚最好的酒店之一。
尼日利亚最好的酒店之一。
08:18
I thought about naming the hotel,
but I thought I probably shouldn't.
but I thought I probably shouldn't.
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我在想要不要点出酒店的名字，
但是在这里我想还是算了。
但是在这里我想还是算了。
08:21
And a guard at the entrance stopped me
and asked me annoying questions,
and asked me annoying questions,
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酒店门口的保安拦住了我，
问些让人恼火的问题，
问些让人恼火的问题，
08:25
because their automatic assumption is
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因为他们理所当然的以为，
08:27
that a Nigerian female walking
into a hotel alone is a sex worker.
into a hotel alone is a sex worker.
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单独走进酒店的当地女性，一定是妓女。
08:33
And by the way,
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而且顺带一问，
08:34
why do these hotels
focus on the ostensible supply
focus on the ostensible supply
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为什么这些酒店在乎表面的服务
08:37
rather than the demand for sex workers?
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对于性工作者的需求却视而不见？
08:41
In Lagos I cannot go alone
into many "reputable" bars and clubs.
into many "reputable" bars and clubs.
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拉各斯很多有“名望”的酒吧和俱乐部，
我一个人是进不去的。
我一个人是进不去的。
08:46
They just don't let you in
if you're a woman alone,
if you're a woman alone,
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他们不允许女人单独进入，
08:49
you have to be accompanied by a man.
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你要进去就必须有男人陪着。
08:51
Each time I walk into
a Nigerian restaurant with a man,
a Nigerian restaurant with a man,
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每次我带着一个男人进入尼日利亚的餐馆，
08:54
the waiter greets the man and ignores me.
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服务生总是招呼男人，忽略我。
08:58
The waiters are products --
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这些服务生是产品——
08:59
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
09:01
At this some women
felt like, "Yes! I thought that!"
felt like, "Yes! I thought that!"
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这时一些女人的反应是，
“没错！我想也是！”
“没错！我想也是！”
09:03
The waiters are products of a society
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这些服务生是社会的产物
09:05
that has taught them that men
are more important than women.
are more important than women.
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社会教育他们男人比女人重要。
09:10
And I know that waiters
don't intend any harm.
don't intend any harm.
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我也知道服务生无意冒犯我。
09:13
But it's one thing to know intellectually
and quite another to feel it emotionally.
and quite another to feel it emotionally.
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但是理性分析是一回事，
感觉和情绪是另一回事。
感觉和情绪是另一回事。
09:17
Each time they ignore me,
I feel invisible.
I feel invisible.
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每次我被人忽略，我感到被无视了。
09:19
I feel upset.
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我感到沮丧。
09:21
I want to tell them
that I am just as human as the man,
that I am just as human as the man,
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我想告诉他们我也是人，跟男人一样，
09:25
that I'm just as worthy of acknowledgment.
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我也理应被认可。
09:28
These are little things,
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这些都是小事，
09:30
but sometimes it's the little things
that sting the most.
that sting the most.
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但有时恰恰是小事最能刺痛你。
09:33
And not long ago, I wrote an article
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不久之前，我写了篇文章
09:35
about what it means
to be young and female in Lagos,
to be young and female in Lagos,
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描述在拉各斯生活的年轻女性要面对什么，
09:38
and the printers told me,
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后来印刷商跟我说，
09:41
"It was so angry."
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“文章怒气满满啊。”
09:42
Of course it was angry!
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当然很有怒气了！
09:44
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
09:48
I am angry.
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我很生气。
09:50
Gender as it functions today
is a grave injustice.
is a grave injustice.
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3136
性别在今天依然存在着严重的歧视。
09:53
We should all be angry.
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我们都应该感到愤怒。
09:55
Anger has a long history
of bringing about positive change;
of bringing about positive change;
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历史上愤怒带来过很多积极的进步；
09:59
but, in addition to being angry,
I'm also hopeful.
I'm also hopeful.
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但是在愤怒之外我还满怀希望。
10:02
Because I believe deeply
in the ability of human beings
in the ability of human beings
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因为我深深的相信人类有种能力
10:05
to make and remake
themselves for the better.
themselves for the better.
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我们可以不断改变让自己更好。
10:08
Gender matters everywhere in the world,
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性别问题在全世界都存在，
10:10
but I want to focus on Nigeria
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但是我聚焦于尼日利亚，
10:13
and on Africa in general,
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以及整个非洲，
10:15
because it is where I know,
and because it is where my heart is.
and because it is where my heart is.
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这是我的故乡，我的心之所向。
10:18
And I would like today to ask
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1936
今天我希望大家
10:20
that we begin to dream about
and plan for a different world,
and plan for a different world,
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4136
能够开始梦想和筹划一个不一样的世界，
10:24
a fairer world,
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1320
这个世界更加公平，
10:28
a world of happier men and happier women
who are truer to themselves.
who are truer to themselves.
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这个世界男人和女人都更加开心和真实。
10:32
And this is how to start:
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我们要从这里开始改变：
10:34
we must raise our daughters differently.
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我们要改变教育我们女儿的方式。
10:36
We must also raise our sons differently.
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我们要改变教育我们儿子的方式。
10:40
We do a great disservice to boys
on how we raise them;
on how we raise them;
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我们培养男孩的方式给他们
带来了极大的伤害：
带来了极大的伤害：
10:43
we stifle the humanity of boys.
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1840
我们抹掉了男孩子人性的那一面。
10:46
We define masculinity
in a very narrow way,
in a very narrow way,
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我们对男子气概的定义非常狭隘，
10:49
masculinity becomes this hard, small cage
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3496
男子气概就像是一个坚硬狭小的牢笼，
10:52
and we put boys inside the cage.
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2296
我们把男孩子塞了进去。
10:54
We teach boys to be afraid of fear.
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1920
我们让男孩子不敢坦诚自己的害怕。
10:57
We teach boys to be afraid
of weakness, of vulnerability.
of weakness, of vulnerability.
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3760
我们让男孩子不敢暴露自己的脆弱。
11:02
We teach them to mask their true selves,
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我们让男孩子藏起真实的自己，
11:04
because they have to be,
in Nigerian speak, "hard man!"
in Nigerian speak, "hard man!"
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教他们必须成为尼日利亚人口中的“硬汉”。
11:10
In secondary school, a boy and a girl,
both of them teenagers,
both of them teenagers,
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在中学，相同年纪的男孩和女孩，
11:14
both of them with the same amount
of pocket money, would go out
of pocket money, would go out
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口袋里有同样多的零花钱，
11:18
and then the boy
would be expected always to pay,
would be expected always to pay,
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2776
结伴出去玩的时候，男孩默认要付钱，
11:20
to prove his masculinity.
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1640
这样才体现男子气概。
11:23
And yet we wonder why boys are more likely
to steal money from their parents.
to steal money from their parents.
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与此同时我们还疑惑为什么男孩喜欢从家里偷钱。
11:29
What if both boys and girls were raised
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如果我们在养育男孩和女孩的时候
11:32
not to link masculinity with money?
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不把男子气概和钱挂钩会这样？
11:35
What if the attitude
was not "the boy has to pay"
was not "the boy has to pay"
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3016
如果我们把“男孩付钱”的风俗改成
11:38
but rather "whoever has more should pay?"
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“谁钱多谁付钱”那么会不会更好？
11:42
Now, of course because
of that historical advantage,
of that historical advantage,
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2576
当然，由于历史积累的差异，
11:44
it is mostly men who will have more today,
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绝大部分情况下男人更有钱一些，
11:47
but if we start
raising children differently,
raising children differently,
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2616
但是如果我们开始改变教育孩子的方式，
11:50
then in fifty years, in a hundred years,
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2536
五十年后，一百年后，
11:52
boys will no longer have the pressure
of having to prove this masculinity.
of having to prove this masculinity.
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那时男孩子将不再需要被迫证明自己的男子气概。
11:57
But by far the worst thing we do to males,
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但是我们对于男人做的最糟糕的事情，
12:00
by making them feel
that they have to be hard,
that they have to be hard,
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2336
是让他们觉得自己必须要“硬”
12:03
is that we leave them
with very fragile egos.
with very fragile egos.
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3120
却相反的让他们的内心非常脆弱。
12:07
The more "hard man"
the man feels compelled to be,
the man feels compelled to be,
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3400
一个男人给我的“硬汉”感觉越强烈，
12:11
the weaker his ego is.
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1600
他的内心就越脆弱。
12:14
And then we do a much greater
disservice to girls
disservice to girls
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3016
我们教育女孩的方式给她们带来了极大的伤害，
12:18
because we raise them
to cater to the fragile egos of men.
to cater to the fragile egos of men.
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因为我们教育她们去呵护男人的脆弱内心。
12:22
We teach girls to shrink themselves,
to make themselves smaller,
to make themselves smaller,
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我们教育女孩子收敛，放低自己，
12:25
we say to girls,
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对女孩说，
12:27
"You can have ambition, but not too much."
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“有野心挺好的，但是不要太大。”
12:29
(Laughter)
245
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（笑声）
12:31
"You should aim to be successful,
but not too successful,
but not too successful,
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2696
“你要努力成功，但是一点点就好，”
12:33
otherwise you would threaten the man."
247
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2040
“不要威胁到男人的地位。”
12:36
If you are the breadwinner
in your relationship with a man,
in your relationship with a man,
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2896
如果你比你老公更能赚钱养家，
12:39
you have to pretend that you're not,
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你必须假装赚的没有老公多，
12:41
especially in public,
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尤其是公开场合，
12:43
otherwise you will emasculate him.
251
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不然会让你的男人看着不像男人。
12:46
But what if we question
the premise itself?
the premise itself?
252
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2336
但是这个前提本身我们是否质疑过呢？
12:49
Why should a woman's success
be a threat to a man?
be a threat to a man?
253
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3320
为什么一个女人事业有成就会威胁到男人了？
12:53
What if we decide
to simply dispose of that word,
to simply dispose of that word,
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3536
为什么我们不能够直接弃用那个英语单词，
12:56
and I don't think there's an English word
I dislike more than "emasculation."
I dislike more than "emasculation."
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那个在英语里我最不喜欢的一个词：
”emasculation“（失去男子气概）
”emasculation“（失去男子气概）
13:02
A Nigerian acquaintance once asked me
256
770720
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一位尼日利亚的朋友问我
13:05
if I was worried that men
would be intimidated by me.
would be intimidated by me.
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是否担心我会吓到男人。
13:08
I was not worried at all.
258
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1736
我一点儿也不担心。
13:10
In fact, it had not occurred
to me to be worried
to me to be worried
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事实上也从未担心过
13:12
because a man who would
be intimidated by me
be intimidated by me
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因为一个可能被我（的成功）吓到的人
13:14
is exactly the kind of man
I would have no interest in.
I would have no interest in.
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完全不会是我喜欢的男人类型。
13:17
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
13:18
(Applause)
263
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2080
（掌声）
13:26
But still I was really struck by this.
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2840
但是这件事对我触动很大。
13:29
Because I'm female,
I'm expected to aspire to marriage;
I'm expected to aspire to marriage;
265
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3600
因为我是女性，我被要求以婚姻为重。
13:33
I'm expected to make my life choices
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人们期待我每次的人生选择
13:35
always keeping in mind
that marriage is the most important.
that marriage is the most important.
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都首先要考虑对婚姻可能的影响。
13:40
A marriage can be a good thing;
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1976
婚姻可以是美好的；
13:42
it can be a source of joy
and love and mutual support.
and love and mutual support.
269
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4416
婚姻可以带来快乐、爱和精神支持。
13:46
But why do we teach girls
to aspire to marriage
to aspire to marriage
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2456
但是我们在培养女孩子的婚姻观的时候，
13:48
and we don't teach boys the same?
271
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1720
我们有没有同样的教育男孩子婚姻观？
13:52
I know a woman
who decided to sell her house
who decided to sell her house
272
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2176
我认识的一个女人卖掉了自己的房子
13:55
because she didn't want
to intimidate a man who might marry her.
to intimidate a man who might marry her.
273
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3040
因为她不希望让打算娶她的男人感到困扰。
13:59
I know an unmarried woman in Nigeria
who, when she goes to conferences,
who, when she goes to conferences,
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4456
我认识一位尼日利亚的女性，每次出去开会，
14:04
wears a wedding ring
275
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都要戴一枚戒指
14:05
because according to her,
276
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1216
因为她说，
14:07
she wants the other participants
in the conference to "give her respect."
in the conference to "give her respect."
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3920
她希望其他参会人员“尊重她”。
14:12
I know young women
who are under so much pressure
who are under so much pressure
278
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2336
我知道年轻女人的压力有多大
14:14
from family, from friends,
even from work to get married,
even from work to get married,
279
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4096
亲朋好友都逼着她结婚，
14:18
and they're pushed
to make terrible choices.
to make terrible choices.
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2080
有些在这样的压力下做了糟糕的选择。
14:21
A woman at a certain age who is unmarried,
281
849520
2616
一个女人到了一定年龄还没嫁出去，
14:24
our society teaches her
to see it as a deep, personal failure.
to see it as a deep, personal failure.
282
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4120
舆论会让她觉得这是极大的个人失败。
14:29
And a man at a certain age
who is unmarried,
who is unmarried,
283
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2776
一个男人到了一定年龄还没有结婚，
14:31
we just think he hasn't come around
to making his pick.
to making his pick.
284
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2616
我们会说他仅仅是还没有遇到合适的。
14:34
(Laughter)
285
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1856
（笑声）
14:36
It's easy for us to say,
286
864360
1616
我们很容易这么说，
14:38
"Oh, but women can
just say no to all of this."
just say no to all of this."
287
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“哦，但是女人可以说不呀。”
14:40
But the reality is more difficult
and more complex.
and more complex.
288
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2440
但是现实要复杂和困难的多。
14:43
We're all social beings.
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我们都是社会的一份子。
14:45
We internalize ideas
from our socialization.
from our socialization.
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我们内在的想法来自我们所处的社会。
14:47
Even the language we use
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甚至我们谈论婚姻时
14:49
in talking about marriage
and relationships illustrates this.
and relationships illustrates this.
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我们的语言都会对我们有影响。
14:53
The language of marriage
is often the language of ownership
is often the language of ownership
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我们的语言描述婚姻更像是一种所有关系，
14:56
rather than the language of partnership.
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而不是一种对等的伙伴关系。
14:58
We use the word "respect"
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我们使用“尊重”一词
15:01
to mean something a woman shows a man
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来更多的描述女人对男人的态度
15:04
but often not something
a man shows a woman.
a man shows a woman.
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而不是男人对女人的态度。
15:08
Both men and women in Nigeria will say --
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尼日利亚的男人和女人都会说——
15:10
this is an expression
I'm very amused by --
I'm very amused by --
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这是我非常着迷的一个现象——
15:12
"I did it for peace in my marriage."
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“我做这个是为了维持这个家。”
15:16
Now, when men say it,
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当男人这么说的时候，
15:18
it is usually about something
that they should not be doing anyway.
that they should not be doing anyway.
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通常是指那些他们本来就不应该做的事情。
15:21
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
15:23
Sometimes they say it to their friends,
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有时男人会跟朋友说，
15:25
it's something to say to their friends
in a kind of fondly exasperated way,
in a kind of fondly exasperated way,
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有时男人会对他的朋友用一种
深情又有点恼怒的口气，
深情又有点恼怒的口气，
15:29
you know, something that ultimately
proves how masculine they are,
proves how masculine they are,
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你知道就是那种最能够体现
他们男子气概的方式
他们男子气概的方式
15:33
how needed, how loved.
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充满了爱和体贴。
15:34
"Oh, my wife said
I can't go to the club every night,
I can't go to the club every night,
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2496
“哎呀，我妻子不让我每天晚上来俱乐部，”
15:37
so for peace in my marriage,
I do it only on weekends."
I do it only on weekends."
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2816
“所以为了这个家我只有周末来。”
15:39
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
15:41
Now, when a woman says,
"I did it for peace in my marriage,"
"I did it for peace in my marriage,"
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但是当一个女人说出同样这句
“我做这个是为了这个家”
“我做这个是为了这个家”
15:45
she's usually talking
about giving up a job,
about giving up a job,
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她说的是放弃一份工作，
15:49
a dream,
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放弃梦想，
15:50
a career.
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放弃事业。
15:53
We teach females that in relationships,
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2416
我们教育妇女在为了维持婚姻，
15:55
compromise is what women do.
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妥协退让是女人的本分。
15:59
We raise girls to see
each other as competitors --
each other as competitors --
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我们教育女孩们将对方视为竞争者——
16:01
not for jobs or for accomplishments,
which I think can be a good thing,
which I think can be a good thing,
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不是工作或成就上的竞争者，
——这种竞争我觉得很好，
——这种竞争我觉得很好，
16:05
but for attention of men.
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而是为了吸引男人而竞争。
16:07
We teach girls that they
cannot be sexual beings
cannot be sexual beings
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我们告诉女孩子不能打扮太性感
16:10
in the way that boys are.
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而对男孩子就无所谓。
16:12
If we have sons, we don't mind
knowing about our sons' girlfriends.
knowing about our sons' girlfriends.
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如果我们的儿子有了女朋友，我们不会介意。
16:16
But our daughters' boyfriends? God forbid.
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但是女儿有了男朋友？绝对不行。
16:18
(Laughter)
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1616
（笑声）
16:20
But of course when the time is right,
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1816
当然等到了合适的时间，
16:22
we expect those girls to bring back
the perfect man to be their husbands.
the perfect man to be their husbands.
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3896
我们期待这些女孩能带回来一个
完美的男人成为她的丈夫。
完美的男人成为她的丈夫。
16:26
We police girls,
we praise girls for virginity,
we praise girls for virginity,
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我们约束女孩要求她们保持童贞。
16:29
but we don't praise boys for virginity,
328
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1936
但是我们不要求男孩保持童贞。
16:31
and it's always made me wonder how exactly
this is supposed to work out because ...
this is supposed to work out because ...
329
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3905
这一直让我觉得很好奇
事情怎么能运转起来…
事情怎么能运转起来…
16:35
(Laughter)
330
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2327
（笑声）
16:37
(Applause)
331
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2960
（掌声）
16:45
I mean, the loss of virginity
is usually a process that involves ...
is usually a process that involves ...
332
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3400
我的意思是，失去童真的过程
通常需要一男一女…
通常需要一男一女…
16:50
Recently a young woman
was gang raped in a university in Nigeria,
was gang raped in a university in Nigeria,
333
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4176
最近一名女孩在尼日利亚大学被轮奸，
16:54
I think some of us know about that.
334
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1696
我想在做的各位可能听说了。
16:56
And the response of many young Nigerians,
both male and female,
both male and female,
335
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3256
很多尼日利亚人，包括男人和女人，
16:59
was something along the lines of this:
336
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2496
他们的态度是这样的：
17:02
"Yes, rape is wrong.
337
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2176
“没错，强奸犯法，”
17:04
But what is a girl doing
in a room with four boys?"
in a room with four boys?"
338
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3280
“但是一个女孩为什么要跟
四个男孩共处一室呢？”
四个男孩共处一室呢？”
17:08
Now, if we can forget
the horrible inhumanity of that response,
the horrible inhumanity of that response,
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现在让我们先忽略掉这个反应的
冷血无情的部分，
冷血无情的部分，
17:14
these Nigerians have been raised
to think of women as inherently guilty,
to think of women as inherently guilty,
340
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3920
这些尼日利亚人收到的教育
默认女人天生是有罪的，
默认女人天生是有罪的，
17:19
and they have been raised
to expect so little of men
to expect so little of men
341
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3136
他们的教育也告诉他们
17:22
that the idea of men as savage beings
without any control
without any control
342
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3695
不要对男人的自控能力预期太高
17:26
is somehow acceptable.
343
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1240
做出兽行也是能理解的。
17:28
We teach girls shame.
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2017
我们教育女孩要知道羞耻。
17:30
"Close your legs." "Cover yourself."
345
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1880
“腿夹紧。” “别穿那么暴露。”
17:33
We make them feel
as though by being born female
as though by being born female
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2255
我们让女孩觉得生而为女人
17:35
they're already guilty of something.
347
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2096
天生就是有罪的。
17:37
And so, girls grow up to be women
348
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2336
因此，女孩长大成女人
17:40
who cannot see they have desire.
349
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2136
也对自己的渴望视而不见。
17:42
They grow up to be women
who silence themselves.
who silence themselves.
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2880
她们变成压抑自己的女人。
17:47
They grow up to be women
who cannot say what they truly think,
who cannot say what they truly think,
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3416
她们变成不能直抒己见的女人，
17:50
and they grow up --
352
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1336
她们长大后——
17:51
and this is the worst thing
we did to girls --
we did to girls --
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2176
这是我们对女孩做的最糟糕的事情——
17:54
they grow up to be women
who have turned pretense into an art form.
who have turned pretense into an art form.
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4136
她们长大之后把这种假装当作一种艺术。
17:58
(Applause)
355
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3840
（掌声）
18:04
I know a woman who hates domestic work,
356
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3416
我知道一个女人，厌恶做家务，
18:07
she just hates it,
357
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1496
不喜欢做家务，
18:09
but she pretends that she likes it,
358
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1720
但是她假装自己很喜欢，
18:12
because she's been taught
that to be "good wife material"
that to be "good wife material"
359
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4096
因为她觉得这是“好妻子必备素质”
18:16
she has to be --
to use that Nigerian word --
to use that Nigerian word --
360
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2376
她不得不表现的——用尼日利亚的话说——
18:18
very "homely."
361
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1480
非常“居家”。
18:21
And then she got married,
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1536
等她结婚了，
18:23
and after a while her husband's family
began to complain that she had changed.
began to complain that she had changed.
363
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3816
没过多久她的婆家开始抱怨她变了。
18:26
(Laughter)
364
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1576
（笑声）
18:28
Actually, she had not changed,
365
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1456
实际上她没变，
18:29
she just got tired of pretending.
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1920
她就是不想再装了。
18:32
The problem with gender,
367
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3136
性别问题，
18:35
is that it prescribes how we should be
368
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2536
在于它规定了我们应该是什么样子，
18:38
rather than recognizing how we are.
369
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2000
而不能发现我们为什么是现在这个样子。
18:41
Now imagine how much happier we would be,
370
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2456
现在想想一下如果我们放下
18:43
how much freer to be
our true individual selves,
our true individual selves,
371
1111880
3496
性别形象带来的负担，我们将会多么的快乐，
18:47
if we didn't have the weight
of gender expectations.
of gender expectations.
372
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2640
多么的自由，释放真正的自我。
18:51
Boys and girls are
undeniably different biologically,
undeniably different biologically,
373
1119240
4776
男性和女性在生理结构上
毫无疑问是有差异的，
毫无疑问是有差异的，
18:56
but socialization
exaggerates the differences
exaggerates the differences
374
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2976
但是社会结构夸大了这种差异，
18:59
and then it becomes
a self-fulfilling process.
a self-fulfilling process.
375
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2576
并使得这种差异被累积和加深。
19:01
Now, take cooking for example.
376
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2040
现在，以做饭为例。
19:04
Today women in general are more likely
to do the housework than men,
to do the housework than men,
377
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3496
在今天女人一般比男人要多做家务，
19:07
the cooking and cleaning.
378
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1256
例如做饭和打扫。
19:09
But why is that?
379
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1576
但是为什么呢？
19:10
Is it because women
are born with a cooking gene?
are born with a cooking gene?
380
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2856
难道女人有做饭基因？
19:13
(Laughter)
381
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1416
（笑声）
19:15
Or because over years they have been
socialized to see cooking as their role?
socialized to see cooking as their role?
382
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4256
还是说是社会观念觉得
做饭是女性应该做的？
做饭是女性应该做的？
19:19
Actually, I was going to say that maybe
women are born with a cooking gene,
women are born with a cooking gene,
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3576
实际上我一度觉得女人确实有烹饪的基因，
19:22
until I remember that the majority
of the famous cooks in the world,
of the famous cooks in the world,
384
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3456
直到我意识到这个世界上有名的厨子，
19:26
whom we give the fancy title of "chefs,"
385
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2296
那些我们冠以“大厨”头衔的人，
19:28
are men.
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1200
都是男人。
19:30
I used to look up to my grandmother
387
1158960
1696
我时常回忆起我的外婆
19:32
who was a brilliant, brilliant woman,
388
1160680
2056
一位非常睿智的女人，
19:34
and wonder how she would have been
389
1162760
1736
我很好奇如果她在成长过程中
19:36
if she had the same opportunities
as men when she was growing up.
as men when she was growing up.
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1164520
3360
有跟男孩同样的机会，
会达到什么成就。
会达到什么成就。
19:40
Now today, there are
many more opportunities for women
many more opportunities for women
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2576
今天的女人有了很多机会
19:43
than there were
during my grandmother's time
during my grandmother's time
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2256
是我外婆那一辈所没有的
19:45
because of changes in policy,
changes in law,
changes in law,
393
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2616
这得益于国家政策以及法律的改变，
19:48
all of which are very important.
394
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1576
每一项改变都非常重要。
19:50
But what matters even more
is our attitude, our mindset,
is our attitude, our mindset,
395
1178080
4536
但是更重要的改变是我们的
态度和思维模式，
态度和思维模式，
19:54
what we believe
and what we value about gender.
and what we value about gender.
396
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3296
在性别问题上我们的信念和价值观。
19:57
What if in raising children
397
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2416
如果我们关注能力而不是性别
20:00
we focus on ability instead of gender?
398
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2800
我们抚养孩子会有怎样的不同？
20:04
What if in raising children
we focus on interest instead of gender?
we focus on interest instead of gender?
399
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4120
如果我们关注于兴趣而不是性别呢？
20:09
I know a family
who have a son and a daughter,
who have a son and a daughter,
400
1197000
2216
我认识一家人，有一儿一女，
20:11
both of whom are brilliant at school,
401
1199240
1896
儿女在学校表现都很好，
20:13
who are wonderful, lovely children.
402
1201160
1896
都是讨人喜欢的孩子。
20:15
When the boy is hungry,
the parents say to the girl,
the parents say to the girl,
403
1203080
2536
当儿子饿了的时候，
父母会对女儿说，
父母会对女儿说，
20:17
"Go and cook Indomie noodles
for your brother."
for your brother."
404
1205640
2216
“去给你哥哥煮碗面条。”
20:19
(Laughter)
405
1207880
1216
（笑声）
20:21
Now, the daughter doesn't
particularly like to cook Indomie noodles,
particularly like to cook Indomie noodles,
406
1209120
3496
小女孩并不喜欢煮面条，
20:24
but she's a girl, and so she has to.
407
1212640
2776
但是她是女孩，她不得不去做。
20:27
Now, what if the parents,
408
1215440
1776
现在，如果这对父母，
20:29
from the beginning,
409
1217240
1616
从一开始，
20:30
taught both the boy and the girl
to cook Indomie?
to cook Indomie?
410
1218880
3920
就让男孩女孩都去煮面条？
20:35
Cooking, by the way,
is a very useful skill for boys to have.
is a very useful skill for boys to have.
411
1223920
3016
顺带一提做饭对于男孩也是非常重要的技能。
20:38
I've never thought it made sense
to leave such a crucial thing,
to leave such a crucial thing,
412
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4856
我从未想过将喂饱自己这样重要的能力
20:43
the ability to nourish oneself --
413
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1896
交由他人之手
20:45
(Laughter)
414
1233760
1216
（笑声）
20:47
in the hands of others.
415
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1536
有什么意义。
20:48
(Applause)
416
1236560
2920
（掌声）
20:53
I know a woman who has the same degree
and the same job as her husband.
and the same job as her husband.
417
1241760
3856
我认识一个女人跟她的丈夫
有同样的学历和工作，
有同样的学历和工作，
20:57
When they get back from work,
she does most of the housework,
she does most of the housework,
418
1245640
2896
下班回到家之后，是妻子承担了
绝大部分的家务，
绝大部分的家务，
21:00
which I think is true for many marriages.
419
1248560
2176
我想大部分婚姻里都是如此。
21:02
But what struck me about them
420
1250760
1736
但是真正让我震惊的，
21:04
was that whenever her husband
changed the baby's diaper,
changed the baby's diaper,
421
1252520
2976
是每当她的丈夫给孩子换尿布的时候，
21:07
she said "thank you" to him.
422
1255520
2280
妻子都要对丈夫说“谢谢你。”
21:11
Now, what if she saw this
as perfectly normal and natural
as perfectly normal and natural
423
1259040
4416
现在，如果她觉得一切都是顺理成章的呢？
21:15
that he should, in fact,
care for his child?
care for his child?
424
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3336
丈夫本来就需要照顾自己的孩子不是么？
21:18
(Laughter)
425
1266840
1840
（笑声）
21:21
I'm trying to unlearn
many of the lessons of gender
many of the lessons of gender
426
1269680
3496
我一直尝试摆脱我在成长过程中内化的
21:25
that I internalized when I was growing up.
427
1273200
2296
那些对性别的要求和预期。
21:27
But I sometimes still feel very vulnerable
in the face of gender expectations.
in the face of gender expectations.
428
1275520
5056
但是有时候我依然觉得面对
性别预期时非常的脆弱。
性别预期时非常的脆弱。
21:32
The first time I taught
a writing class in graduate school,
a writing class in graduate school,
429
1280600
3000
当我第一次在一所中学教写作的时候，
21:36
I was worried.
430
1284360
1256
我很担心。
21:37
I wasn't worried
about the material I would teach
about the material I would teach
431
1285640
2336
我不担心教学内容
21:40
because I was well-prepared,
432
1288000
1336
因为我准备的很充分
21:41
and I was going to teach
what I enjoy teaching.
what I enjoy teaching.
433
1289360
2216
而且我要教的正好也是我非常喜欢的。
21:43
Instead, I was worried about what to wear.
434
1291600
2080
我担心的是我要穿什么衣服。
21:46
I wanted to be taken seriously.
435
1294680
1600
我希望被严肃地对待。
21:49
I knew that because I was female
436
1297480
1576
我知道仅仅因为我是女性，
21:51
I will automatically
have to prove my worth.
have to prove my worth.
437
1299080
3160
我就自然的需要证明自己的价值。
21:55
And I was worried
that if I looked too feminine,
that if I looked too feminine,
438
1303240
2256
同时我担心如果我穿得太女性化，
21:57
I would not be taken seriously.
439
1305520
1776
我会被人轻视。
21:59
I really wanted to wear
my shiny lip gloss and my girly skirt,
my shiny lip gloss and my girly skirt,
440
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我真的很想涂闪闪的唇彩，
穿很女人的衬衫，
穿很女人的衬衫，
22:03
but I decided not to.
441
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1816
但是我决定算了。
22:05
Instead, I wore a very serious,
442
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2376
相反的我穿了一件非常正式的
22:07
very manly and very ugly suit.
443
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男性化的丑陋的西服。
22:10
(Laughter)
444
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（笑声）
22:12
Because the sad truth is
that when it comes to appearance
that when it comes to appearance
445
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因为可悲的真相是涉及到衣着时，
22:14
we start off with men
as the standard, as the norm.
as the standard, as the norm.
446
1322760
2600
我们将男人视为标准和典范。
22:17
If a man is getting ready
for a business meeting,
for a business meeting,
447
1325960
2336
如果一个男人准备好参加工作会议，
22:20
he doesn't worry
about looking too masculine
about looking too masculine
448
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2136
他不需要担心穿着上是否够男子气
22:22
and therefore not being taken for granted.
449
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2496
因为别人本来就认可他。
22:25
If a woman has to get ready
for business meeting,
for business meeting,
450
1333000
2496
当一个女人准备好参加工作会议，
22:27
she has to worry
about looking too feminine
about looking too feminine
451
1335520
2776
她需要担心是否穿得太女性化
22:30
and what it says and whether or not
she will be taken seriously.
she will be taken seriously.
452
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4280
需要担心别人是否因此轻视她。
22:36
I wish I had not worn
that ugly suit that day.
that ugly suit that day.
453
1344000
2200
我希望我那天并没有穿那件丑陋的西服。
22:39
I've actually banished it
from my closet, by the way.
from my closet, by the way.
454
1347440
3136
顺带一提我已经扔掉了那件西服。
22:42
Had I then the confidence
that I have now to be myself,
that I have now to be myself,
455
1350600
4936
当年缺乏的自信，现在我已经有了，
22:47
my students would have benefited
even more from my teaching,
even more from my teaching,
456
1355560
2936
我的学生可以从我这里学到更多，
22:50
because I would have been more comfortable
457
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2056
因为我（在课堂上）更加的舒适放松
22:52
and more fully and more truly myself.
458
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2000
展现更加真实和完整的自我。
22:55
I have chosen to no longer
be apologetic for my femaleness
be apologetic for my femaleness
459
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4016
我选择不再因为我的女性化
22:59
and for my femininity.
460
1367840
1200
和女权主张而不安。
23:01
(Applause)
461
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3000
（掌声）
23:07
And I want to be respected
in all of my femaleness
in all of my femaleness
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2856
而且我希望的是我的所有
女性特点都被尊重，
女性特点都被尊重，
23:10
because I deserve to be.
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1560
因为我值得被尊重。
23:13
Gender is not an easy
conversation to have.
conversation to have.
464
1381200
2440
性别问题谈论起来并不容易。
23:17
For both men and women,
465
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1576
无论男人还是女人，
23:18
to bring up gender is sometimes
to encounter almost immediate resistance.
to encounter almost immediate resistance.
466
1386680
3936
挑起性别话题有时候会遇到
条件反射式的反弹。
条件反射式的反弹。
23:22
I can imagine some people here
are actually thinking,
are actually thinking,
467
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3256
我能想象有些人实际上的想法是，
23:25
"Women too do sef."
468
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1920
“女人也是自私的。”
23:29
Some of the men here might be thinking,
469
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2176
在座的某些男性可能会想，
23:31
"OK, all of this is interesting,
470
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1736
“好吧，听起来很有道理，”
23:33
but I don't think like that."
471
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1560
“但是我不这么看。”
23:35
And that is part of the problem.
472
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2216
这是部分问题所在。
23:38
That many men do not
actively think about gender
actively think about gender
473
1406200
2976
很多男人并没有主动的察觉到性别
23:41
or notice gender
474
1409200
1496
或者意识到性别
23:42
is part of the problem of gender.
475
1410720
2016
是性别问题的一部分。
23:44
That many men, say, like my friend Louis,
476
1412760
2656
很多男人，例如我的朋友Louis，
23:47
that everything is fine now.
477
1415440
1680
觉得现在一切都很完美。
23:50
And that many men do nothing to change it.
478
1418160
2856
这使得很多男人对改变现状没有任何贡献。
23:53
If you are a man and you walk
into a restaurant with a woman
into a restaurant with a woman
479
1421040
2856
如果你是一个男人，带着一个女人，
走进一家餐馆，
走进一家餐馆，
23:55
and the waiter greets only you,
480
1423920
1680
如果服务生只跟你打招呼，
23:58
does it occur to you to ask the waiter,
481
1426400
2496
你有没有问过服务生，
24:00
"Why haven't you greeted her?"
482
1428920
1560
“为什么你不向她问好？”
24:05
Because gender can be --
483
1433320
1496
因为性别可以——
24:06
(Laughter)
484
1434840
2080
（笑声）
24:16
Actually, we may repose
part of a longer version of this talk.
part of a longer version of this talk.
485
1444880
4496
实际上我们如果有时间可以
继续扩展一下这段对话。
继续扩展一下这段对话。
24:21
So, because gender can be
a very uncomfortable conversation to have,
a very uncomfortable conversation to have,
486
1449400
3576
因为性别问题谈论起来非常叫人不舒服，
24:25
there are very easy ways to close it,
to close the conversation.
to close the conversation.
487
1453000
3096
所以很容易话题就被中断了。
24:28
So some people will bring up
evolutionary biology and apes,
evolutionary biology and apes,
488
1456120
4176
有些人可能会提到演化论和猿人，
24:32
how, you know, female apes
bow down to male apes
bow down to male apes
489
1460320
3656
讲起女猿人如何顺从男猿人
24:36
and that sort of thing.
490
1464000
1240
以及如此种种。
24:37
But the point is we're not apes.
491
1465880
2056
但问题是我们不是猴子。
24:39
(Laughter)
492
1467960
1416
（笑声）
24:41
(Applause)
493
1469400
4000
（掌声）
24:46
Apes also live on trees
and have earthworms for breakfast,
and have earthworms for breakfast,
494
1474160
4816
猿人长在树上，吃蚯蚓当早饭，
24:51
and we don't.
495
1479000
1200
我们不是。
24:53
Some people will say,
"Well, poor men also have a hard time."
"Well, poor men also have a hard time."
496
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4000
有人会反驳说，“穷男人也很艰难。”
24:57
And this is true.
497
1485880
1200
话是不假。
24:59
But that is not what this --
498
1487920
1336
但是毫不相干——
25:01
(Laughter)
499
1489280
1096
（笑声）
25:02
But this is not
what this conversation is about.
what this conversation is about.
500
1490400
2680
这跟我们谈论的性别问题完全无关。
25:06
Gender and class
are different forms of oppression.
are different forms of oppression.
501
1494480
3776
性别和社会等级是不同的被压抑的问题。
25:10
I actually learned quite a bit
about systems of oppression
about systems of oppression
502
1498280
3656
我实际上从过跟一个黑人男性的聊天
25:13
and how they can be blind to one another
503
1501960
2456
发现了不同的被压抑的问题之间
25:16
by talking to black men.
504
1504440
1480
是完全无视对方存在的。
25:19
I was once talking
to a black man about gender
to a black man about gender
505
1507320
3176
我曾经跟一个黑人男性聊起来性别问题
25:22
and he said to me,
506
1510520
1376
他跟我说，
25:23
"Why do you have to say
'my experience as a woman'?
'my experience as a woman'?
507
1511920
3456
“为什么你们要谈论‘我做为女人的经历’？”
25:27
Why can't it be
508
1515400
1216
“为什么不去说”
25:28
'your experience as a human being'?"
509
1516640
1880
“‘你做为人的经验’？”
25:31
Now, this was the same man
510
1519840
1256
但是呢，同样这个男人
25:33
who would often talk
about his experience as a black man.
about his experience as a black man.
511
1521120
3000
却经常那自己的黑人身份说事儿。
25:39
Gender matters.
512
1527360
1216
性别很重要。
25:40
Men and women
experience the world differently.
experience the world differently.
513
1528600
2496
男人女人对世界的认知是不同的。
25:43
Gender colors the way
we experience the world.
we experience the world.
514
1531120
2816
性别让我们带着有色眼镜去看世界。
25:45
But we can change that.
515
1533960
1400
但是我们可以改变。
25:48
Some people will say,
516
1536520
1936
有人会说，
25:50
"Oh, but women have the real power,
517
1538480
2456
“嗯，但是女人有实际的权利，”
25:52
bottom power."
518
1540960
1776
“屁股力量（bottom power）。”
25:54
And for non-Nigerians,
bottom power is an expression
bottom power is an expression
519
1542760
2896
我来解释一下，屁股力量表的思是
25:57
which I suppose means
something like a woman
something like a woman
520
1545680
1856
类似一个女人利用她的性魅力
25:59
who uses her sexuality
to get favors from men.
to get favors from men.
521
1547560
2760
吸引并影响一个男人的能力。
26:03
But bottom power is not power at all.
522
1551200
2720
但是屁股力量根本不是什么力量。
26:08
Bottom power means that a woman
523
1556400
2776
屁股力量意味着一个女人
26:11
simply has a good root to tap into,
from time to time --
from time to time --
524
1559200
2896
只是有很好的能力——
一次又一次地——
一次又一次地——
26:14
somebody else's power.
525
1562120
1440
借助别人的力量。
26:16
And then, of course, we have to wonder
526
1564640
1856
然后，我们理所当然的担心
26:18
what happens when
that somebody else is in a bad mood,
that somebody else is in a bad mood,
527
1566520
2656
如果借助力量的那个人脾气很糟，
26:21
or sick
528
1569200
1376
或者生病了，
26:22
or impotent.
529
1570600
1200
或者是无能的。
26:24
(Laughter)
530
1572280
3416
（笑声）
26:27
Some people will say that a woman
being subordinate to a man is our culture.
being subordinate to a man is our culture.
531
1575720
6240
有人说女人屈服于男人是我们的文化。
26:34
But culture is constantly changing.
532
1582640
1976
但是文化是在不断变化的。
26:36
I have beautiful twin nieces
who are fifteen and live in Lagos.
who are fifteen and live in Lagos.
533
1584640
4656
我有两个美丽的侄女，
生活在拉各斯，刚满15岁。
生活在拉各斯，刚满15岁。
26:41
If they had been born a hundred years ago
534
1589320
1960
如果她俩出生在一百年之前
26:44
they would have been
taken away and killed.
taken away and killed.
535
1592000
2136
她们会被丢弃并杀死。
26:46
Because it was our culture,
it was our culture to kill twins.
it was our culture to kill twins.
536
1594160
3040
因为过去我们的文化是要杀掉双胞胎的。
26:51
So what is the point of culture?
537
1599040
1720
所以文化的点在哪里？
26:53
I mean there's the decorative,
538
1601480
1576
我的意思是文化包含了建筑装饰，
26:55
the dancing ...
539
1603080
1616
舞蹈等等
26:56
but also, culture really is about
preservation and continuity of a people.
preservation and continuity of a people.
540
1604720
4616
但是同时，文化真实的意思是
对人的保护和传承
对人的保护和传承
27:01
In my family,
541
1609360
1256
在我家，
27:02
I am the child who is most interested
in the story of who we are,
in the story of who we are,
542
1610640
3176
我是对于家族的历史，我们的文化传统，
27:05
in our traditions,
543
1613840
1256
以及我们先辈土地上的故事，
27:07
in the knowledge about ancestral lands.
544
1615120
2176
最感兴趣的一个。
27:09
My brothers are not as interested as I am.
545
1617320
2576
我的兄弟没有我这么有兴趣。
27:11
But I cannot participate,
546
1619920
1440
但是我不能参加氏族会议，
27:14
I cannot go to umunna meetings,
547
1622200
2016
我没法旁听，
27:16
I cannot have a say.
548
1624240
1736
我也无权发言。
27:18
Because I'm female.
549
1626000
1200
因为我是女性。
27:20
Culture does not make people,
550
1628080
2096
文化不会塑造人，
27:22
people make culture.
551
1630200
1400
人创造文化。
27:24
So if it is in fact true --
552
1632920
1776
如果这是真的——
27:26
(Applause)
553
1634720
3496
（掌声）
27:30
So if it is in fact true
554
1638240
1616
如果我们的文化中
27:31
that the full humanity of women
is not our culture,
is not our culture,
555
1639880
2896
真的没有把女性当作完整的人来看待，
27:34
then we must make it our culture.
556
1642800
1720
那么我们需要创造这样的文化。
27:38
I think very often of my dear friend,
Okoloma Maduewesi.
Okoloma Maduewesi.
557
1646040
5616
我时常想起我的朋友，
Okoloma Maduewesi。
Okoloma Maduewesi。
27:43
May he and all the others
who passed away in that Sosoliso crash
who passed away in that Sosoliso crash
558
1651680
3976
希望他和其他所有在 Sosoliso 空难中逝去的人
27:47
continue to rest in peace.
559
1655680
1480
能够安息。
27:50
He will always be remembered
by those of us who loved him.
by those of us who loved him.
560
1658400
3080
他将被爱他的人永远铭记。
27:54
And he was right that day many years ago
when he called me a feminist.
when he called me a feminist.
561
1662880
4496
是他第一次叫我女权主义者，
而且他说的没错。
而且他说的没错。
27:59
I am a feminist.
562
1667400
1240
我就是一个女权主义者。
28:01
And when I looked up the word
in the dictionary that day,
in the dictionary that day,
563
1669400
2696
那天我打开字典查阅这个词，
28:04
this is what it said:
564
1672120
1256
字典里这么写道：
28:05
"Feminist: a person
who believes in the social, political
who believes in the social, political
565
1673400
3376
“女权主义者：一个相信在性别上，社会地位、”
28:08
and economic equality of the sexes."
566
1676800
3696
“政治地位、经济地位平等的人。”
28:12
My great grandmother,
from the stories I've heard,
from the stories I've heard,
567
1680520
2936
我的曾外婆，从我听到的故事里，
28:15
was a feminist.
568
1683480
1576
她是是女权主义者。
28:17
She ran away from the house of the man
she did not want to marry
she did not want to marry
569
1685080
3376
她因为不想跟不喜欢的男人结婚而出走，
28:20
and ended up marrying
the man of her choice.
the man of her choice.
570
1688480
2080
并最终跟自己爱的男人结婚。
28:23
She refused, she protested, she spoke up
571
1691160
2976
她抗拒，她斗争，她直言不讳
28:26
whenever she felt she was being deprived
of access, of land, that sort of thing.
of access, of land, that sort of thing.
572
1694160
5296
每当她觉得自己的权利被剥夺时都是如此。
28:31
My great grandmother
did not know that word "feminist,"
did not know that word "feminist,"
573
1699480
3296
我的曾外婆那时候不知道“女权主义者”这个词。
28:34
but it doesn't mean that she wasn't one.
574
1702800
1920
但是她确实是女权主义者。
28:38
More of us should reclaim that word.
575
1706160
1920
我们应该更多的把这个词汇用起来。
28:42
My own definition of feminist is:
576
1710040
2400
我对女权主义的定义是：
28:45
"A feminist is a man or a woman
577
1713200
2376
“女权主义者是一个男人或女人，
28:47
who says --
578
1715600
1200
主张——
28:49
(Laughter)
579
1717480
3136
（笑声）
28:52
(Applause)
580
1720640
3760
（掌声）
28:58
A feminist is a man or a woman who says,
581
1726600
3256
“女权主义者是一个男人或女人，主张
29:01
"Yes, there's a problem
with gender as it is today,
with gender as it is today,
582
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3296
“是的，当今社会性别问题依然存在
29:05
and we must fix it.
583
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1296
而且我们要修复它。
29:06
We must do better."
584
1734520
1720
我们可以做得更好。”
29:09
The best feminist I know
585
1737960
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我知道的最优秀的女权主义者
29:12
is my brother Kene.
586
1740040
1320
是我的哥哥Kene。
29:14
He's also a kind,
good-looking, lovely man,
good-looking, lovely man,
587
1742920
3896
他是一个和善、英俊、可爱的男人，
29:18
and he's very masculine.
588
1746840
1760
而且他非常有男子气概。
29:21
Thank you.
589
1749320
1216
谢谢。
29:22
(Applause)
590
1750560
4280
（掌声）
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - NovelistInspired by Nigerian history and tragedies all but forgotten by recent generations of westerners, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s novels and stories are jewels in the crown of diasporan literature.
Why you should listen
In Nigeria, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's novel Half of a Yellow Sun has helped inspire new, cross-generational communication about the Biafran war. In this and in her other works, she seeks to instill dignity into the finest details of each character, whether poor, middle class or rich, exposing along the way the deep scars of colonialism in the African landscape.
Adichie's newest book, The Thing Around Your Neck, is a brilliant collection of stories about Nigerians struggling to cope with a corrupted context in their home country, and about the Nigerian immigrant experience.
Adichie builds on the literary tradition of Igbo literary giant Chinua Achebe—and when she found out that Achebe liked Half of a Yellow Sun, she says she cried for a whole day. What he said about her rings true: “We do not usually associate wisdom with beginners, but here is a new writer endowed with the gift of ancient storytellers.”
(Photo: Wani Olatunde)
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie | Speaker | TED.com