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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: We should all be feminists
琪瑪夢妲 · 妮戈琪 · 艾黛琪: 我們都應是女權主義者
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傳統要我們教育女性要有野心，但又不能太有野心，要追求成功，但又不能太成功，否則就會威脅到男性。琪瑪夢妲．妮戈琪．艾黛琪以普世都在討論的女權主義作為演講的開頭，要求大家開始夢想和籌畫一個不同於以往的公平世界，使男性和女性都能真正過得更幸福。
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - Novelist
Inspired by Nigerian history and tragedies all but forgotten by recent generations of westerners, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s novels and stories are jewels in the crown of diasporan literature. Full bio
Inspired by Nigerian history and tragedies all but forgotten by recent generations of westerners, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s novels and stories are jewels in the crown of diasporan literature. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
So I would like to start by telling you
about one of my greatest friends,
about one of my greatest friends,
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今天我想從我最好的朋友開始講起，
他名子是奧克拉荷馬．瑪督韋希。
00:17
Okoloma Maduewesi.
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00:19
Okoloma lived on my street
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奧克拉荷馬住在我街上，
00:21
and looked after me like a big brother.
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像位大哥那樣照顧我。
如果我喜歡上一個男生，
我會徵詢奧克拉荷馬的意見。
我會徵詢奧克拉荷馬的意見。
00:23
If I liked a boy,
I would ask Okoloma's opinion.
I would ask Okoloma's opinion.
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00:28
Okoloma died in the notorious
Sosoliso plane crash
Sosoliso plane crash
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他死於奈及利亞惡名昭彰的
「索索利索航空公司」空難事件中，
「索索利索航空公司」空難事件中，
00:32
in Nigeria in December of 2005.
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時間是 2005 年 12 月。
00:35
Almost exactly seven years ago.
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至今已經快七年了。
00:38
Okoloma was a person I could argue with,
laugh with and truly talk to.
laugh with and truly talk to.
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我跟他無所不談，
他是我真正可以談心的朋友。
他是我真正可以談心的朋友。
00:43
He was also the first person
to call me a feminist.
to call me a feminist.
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也是第一個稱我為
「女權主義者」的人。
「女權主義者」的人。
00:47
I was about fourteen,
we were at his house, arguing.
we were at his house, arguing.
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那時我 14 歲，
在他的家為某些事在爭論。
在他的家為某些事在爭論。
00:50
Both of us bristling
with half bit knowledge
with half bit knowledge
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為了書中的事爭得面紅耳赤，
彼此都是一知半解。
彼此都是一知半解。
00:53
from books that we had read.
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00:55
I don't remember what this
particular argument was about,
particular argument was about,
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我已忘了當時吵的是什麼，
00:59
but I remember
that as I argued and argued,
that as I argued and argued,
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但是我記得在爭論過程中
他看著我說：
他看著我說：
01:01
Okoloma looked at me and said,
"You know, you're a feminist."
"You know, you're a feminist."
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「知道嗎？妳真的是個女權主義者！」
01:05
It was not a compliment.
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那不是誇獎。
01:07
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
01:08
I could tell from his tone,
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從他的語氣我就知道，
01:09
the same tone that you would use
to say something like,
to say something like,
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大概類似於你們會用來說
01:12
"You're a supporter of terrorism."
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「妳是恐怖主義的支持者」那樣。
01:14
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
01:17
I did not know exactly
what this word "feminist" meant,
what this word "feminist" meant,
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我當時不了解
「女權主義者」真正的意思，
「女權主義者」真正的意思，
01:20
and I did not want Okoloma
to know that I did not know.
to know that I did not know.
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更不想讓他知道我不懂那個字眼。
01:24
So I brushed it aside,
and I continued to argue.
and I continued to argue.
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所以我沒接他的話，
繼續爭論之前的話。
繼續爭論之前的話。
01:27
And the first thing
I planned to do when I got home
I planned to do when I got home
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等我回家後做的第一件事，
01:29
was to look up the word
"feminist" in the dictionary.
"feminist" in the dictionary.
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就是查字典裡「女權主義者」的意思。
01:32
Now fast forward to some years later,
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現在讓我把時間往後快轉幾年，
01:35
I wrote a novel about a man
who among other things beats his wife
who among other things beats his wife
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我寫了一本描述
一個男人毆打老婆的書，
一個男人毆打老婆的書，
01:39
and whose story doesn't end very well.
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主角最後的下場不是很好。
01:42
While I was promoting
the novel in Nigeria,
the novel in Nigeria,
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當我在奈及利亞為小說進行宣傳時，
01:44
a journalist, a nice, well-meaning man,
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有位好心善良的記者，
01:47
told me he wanted to advise me.
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告訴我他想給我一點建議。
01:51
And for the Nigerians here,
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我想在座的奈及利亞人
01:52
I'm sure we're all familiar
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一定都很了解那種不請自來
01:54
with how quick our people are
to give unsolicited advice.
to give unsolicited advice.
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熱於提供建議的人速度有多快；
02:01
He told me that people were saying
that my novel was feminist
that my novel was feminist
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他說人們覺得我的小說是女權主義。
02:05
and his advice to me --
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並且他建議我，
02:06
and he was shaking his head
sadly as he spoke --
sadly as he spoke --
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搖著頭帶點悲傷的說，
02:10
was that I should never
call myself a feminist
call myself a feminist
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我不應該再提及自己是個女權主義者，
02:12
because feminists
are women who are unhappy
are women who are unhappy
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因為女權主義者都是不開心的女人，
02:14
because they cannot find husbands.
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因為她們找不到丈夫。
02:16
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
02:21
So I decided to call myself
"a happy feminist."
"a happy feminist."
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所以我決定自稱為
「快樂的女權主義者」。
「快樂的女權主義者」。
02:25
Then an academic, a Nigerian woman told me
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然後又有一位奈及利亞的
女性學者告訴我，
女性學者告訴我，
02:27
that feminism was not our culture
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女權主義不是我們的文化，
02:29
and that feminism wasn't African,
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女權主義也不是非洲的。
02:31
and that I was calling myself a feminist
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她說我自稱女權主義者的原因
02:33
because I had been corrupted
by "Western books."
by "Western books."
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是因為我被「西方的書」腐化了。
02:36
Which amused me,
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她說的話讓我啼笑皆非，
02:37
because a lot of my early readings
were decidedly unfeminist.
were decidedly unfeminist.
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因為我以前讀的書
絕大多數與女權主義無關。
絕大多數與女權主義無關。
02:40
I think I must have read every single
Mills & Boon romance published
Mills & Boon romance published
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我在 16 歲以前幾乎已讀完
「米爾思·布恩出版社」的
每一本浪漫小說。
每一本浪漫小說。
02:43
before I was sixteen.
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02:45
And each time I tried to read those books
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每當我閱讀那些關於
「女權主義寶典」書籍的時候，
「女權主義寶典」書籍的時候，
02:47
called "the feminist classics,"
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我都會覺得很無聊，很難唸完。
02:49
I'd get bored, and I really
struggled to finish them.
struggled to finish them.
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但是不管怎樣，
既然女權主義不是非洲的，
既然女權主義不是非洲的，
02:52
But anyway, since feminism was un-African,
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02:55
I decided that I would now call myself
"a happy African feminist."
"a happy African feminist."
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所以現在我都自稱
是「快樂的非洲女權主義者」，
是「快樂的非洲女權主義者」，
02:59
At some point I was a happy African
feminist who does not hate men
feminist who does not hate men
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過去某段日子我並不討厭男人，
我是快樂的非洲女權主義者，
我是快樂的非洲女權主義者，
03:04
and who likes lip gloss
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也喜歡擦口紅，
03:05
and who wears high heels
for herself but not for men.
for herself but not for men.
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隨興為自己穿高跟鞋，
而不是穿給男人看。
而不是穿給男人看。
03:08
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
03:09
Of course a lot of this
was tongue-in-cheek,
was tongue-in-cheek,
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當然上述許多都是玩笑話，
03:12
but that word feminist is so heavy
with baggage, negative baggage.
with baggage, negative baggage.
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但是「女權主義者」本身這個字眼
帶有很沉重、很負面的包袱。
帶有很沉重、很負面的包袱。
03:16
You hate men, you hate bras,
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好比是「妳討厭男人，
妳不喜歡穿胸罩，
妳不喜歡穿胸罩，
03:19
you hate African culture,
that sort of thing.
that sort of thing.
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妳厭惡非洲文化」那些觀念。
03:22
Now here's a story from my childhood.
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我要講一個小時候的故事。
03:25
When I was in primary school,
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當我上小學的時候，
03:26
my teacher said at the beginning of term
that she would give the class a test
that she would give the class a test
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開學時我的老師說會有一個考試，
03:31
and whoever got the highest score
would be the class monitor.
would be the class monitor.
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誰的分數最高誰就可以當班長。
03:34
Now, class monitor was a big deal.
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你也知道，當班長是件了不起的事。
03:37
If you were a class monitor,
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假如你是班長，
03:39
you got to write down
the names of noisemakers --
the names of noisemakers --
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你就可以把講話的名字登記下來。
03:41
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
03:43
which was having enough power of its own.
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那個權力可大。
03:46
But my teacher would also give you
a cane to hold in your hand
a cane to hold in your hand
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而且我的老師還會給班長拿根教鞭，
03:51
while you walk around
and patrol the class for noisemakers.
and patrol the class for noisemakers.
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讓他拿著教鞭在班上
走動監督搗亂的人。
走動監督搗亂的人。
03:55
Now, of course you were not
actually allowed to use the cane.
actually allowed to use the cane.
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當然，使用教鞭打人是不被允許的。
03:58
But it was an exciting prospect
for the nine-year-old me.
for the nine-year-old me.
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不過對 9 歲的我實在很有激勵，
04:02
I very much wanted
to be the class monitor.
to be the class monitor.
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因為我非常想當班長。
04:05
And I got the highest score on the test.
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而且我也考上第一名的成績。
04:07
Then, to my surprise, my teacher said
that the monitor had to be a boy.
that the monitor had to be a boy.
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聽到老師說：
「班長必須是個男生」我非常訝異。
「班長必須是個男生」我非常訝異。
04:12
She had forgotten
to make that clear earlier
to make that clear earlier
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她早該在考試前就先說清楚才對，
但是她以為大家都知道。
但是她以為大家都知道。
04:14
because she assumed it was ... obvious.
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04:16
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
04:18
A boy had the second highest
score on the test,
score on the test,
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成績第二名的是位男孩，
04:21
and he would be monitor.
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結果他變成了班長。
04:23
Now, what was even more
interesting about this
interesting about this
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更有意思的是：
04:26
is that the boy was a sweet, gentle soul
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那個男孩個性善良又溫和，
04:30
who had no interest
in patrolling the class with the cane,
in patrolling the class with the cane,
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對於拿著教鞭在班上巡邏毫無興趣，
04:34
while I was full of ambition to do so.
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而我則充滿野心渴望當班長，
04:38
But I was female and he was male,
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但我是女生他是男生，
04:40
and so he became the class monitor.
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所以他當上了班長。
04:43
And I've never forgotten that incident.
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這件事情我一輩子忘不了。
04:46
I often make the mistake of thinking
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這是我常犯的錯誤想法：
04:48
that something that is obvious to me
is just as obvious to everyone else.
is just as obvious to everyone else.
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總是以為我懂的道理，別人應該也懂。
04:51
Now, take my dear friend Louis
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舉我的好朋友路易士為例。
04:53
for example.
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04:54
Louis is a brilliant, progressive man,
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他是位聰明上進的男人，
04:56
and we would have conversations
and he would tell me,
and he would tell me,
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會在我們聊天的時候說：
04:58
"I don't know what you mean by things
being different or harder for women.
being different or harder for women.
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「我不懂妳為什麼總是說
事情對女人而言不同且更難。
事情對女人而言不同且更難。
05:02
Maybe in the past, but not now."
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也許過去情況是那樣，
但現在已經不同了。」
但現在已經不同了。」
05:05
And I didn't understand how Louis
could not see what seems so self-evident.
could not see what seems so self-evident.
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我不理解他怎麼會看不清楚
那些不言而喻的事情。
那些不言而喻的事情。
05:10
Then one evening, in Lagos,
Louis and I went out with friends.
Louis and I went out with friends.
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有天晚上我跟他
在拉哥斯市與朋友聚會。
在拉哥斯市與朋友聚會。
05:14
And for people here
who are not familiar with Lagos,
who are not familiar with Lagos,
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在座可能有人不太熟悉拉哥斯市，
05:16
there's that wonderful Lagos' fixture,
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這個城市有個特別美的地方，
05:18
the sprinkling of energetic men
who hang around outside establishments
who hang around outside establishments
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就是這裡的人
散佈在各處且充滿活力，
散佈在各處且充滿活力，
05:23
and very dramatically
"help" you park your car.
"help" you park your car.
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會很熱心地「幫」你泊車。
05:28
I was impressed
with the particular theatrics
with the particular theatrics
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我那天傍晚對幫我們
找到停車位的男士，
找到停車位的男士，
05:31
of the man who found us
a parking spot that evening.
a parking spot that evening.
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戲劇性的舉止感到非常滿意。
05:34
And so as we were leaving,
I decided to leave him a tip.
I decided to leave him a tip.
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所以當我下車後，
決定給他一點小費。
決定給他一點小費。
05:38
I opened my bag,
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於是我打開皮包，
05:40
put my hand inside my bag,
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把手伸進裡面，
05:41
brought out my money
that I had earned from doing my work,
that I had earned from doing my work,
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拿出我的錢，這是我工作賺來的錢。
05:45
and I gave it to the man.
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然後給了那個男士，
05:47
And he, this man who was
very grateful and very happy,
very grateful and very happy,
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這個男士很感激也很開心，
05:52
took the money from me,
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從我手裡把錢拿過去，
05:53
looked across at Louis
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然後把轉向路易士說：
05:55
and said, "Thank you, sir!"
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「謝謝您，先生！」
05:57
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
06:03
Louis looked at me, surprised,
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路易士很驚訝的看著我說：
06:06
and asked, "Why is he thanking me?
I didn't give him the money."
I didn't give him the money."
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「他為什麼謝我？又不是我給的錢。」
06:10
Then I saw realization
dawn on Louis' face.
dawn on Louis' face.
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然後我看到路易士
臉上恍然大悟的樣子。
臉上恍然大悟的樣子。
06:15
The man believed that whatever money I had
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那個男士一定是這樣想；
06:17
had ultimately come from Louis.
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我的錢肯定都是來自身旁的路易士，
06:21
Because Louis is a man.
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因為路易士是男的；
06:24
Men and women are different.
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男人和女人是不同的。
06:26
We have different hormones,
we have different sexual organs,
we have different sexual organs,
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我們有不同的荷爾蒙，
和不同的性器官，
和不同的性器官，
06:29
we have different biological abilities.
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在生理能力上也各有差別。
06:31
Women can have babies, men can't.
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女人可以生孩子，男人不行。
06:34
At least not yet.
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至少現在不行。
06:36
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
06:37
Men have testosterone and are
in general physically stronger than women.
in general physically stronger than women.
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男人有睾丸酮，
通常身體比女人強壯。
通常身體比女人強壯。
06:42
There's slightly more women
than men in the world,
than men in the world,
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世界上女人的數量
比男人稍微多一些，
比男人稍微多一些，
06:45
about 52 percent of the world's
population is female.
population is female.
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全球的女性大概占了 52%，
06:48
But most of the positions of power
and prestige are occupied by men.
and prestige are occupied by men.
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但有權力與聲望的
絕大部分都是男性。
絕大部分都是男性。
06:52
The late Kenyan Nobel Peace laureate,
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最近獲得諾貝爾和平獎的肯亞籍得主；
06:55
Wangari Maathai,
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旺加里．馬塔伊
06:56
put it simply and well when she said:
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她闡述的非常簡明：
06:59
"The higher you go,
the fewer women there are."
the fewer women there are."
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「爬得越高，女性就越少。」
我們在最近的美國大選中不時聽到
「莉莉—萊柏特合理工資法」，
「莉莉—萊柏特合理工資法」，
07:03
In the recent US elections we kept hearing
of the Lilly Ledbetter law,
of the Lilly Ledbetter law,
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07:08
and if we go beyond the nicely
alliterative name of that law,
alliterative name of that law,
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如果深入去了解，
會發現它的命名原意，
會發現它的命名原意，
07:12
it was really about a man and a woman
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分別指的是「一個男人和一個女人」；
07:14
doing the same job,
being equally qualified,
being equally qualified,
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兩者的工作內容和資格都一樣，
07:16
and the man being paid more
because he's a man.
because he's a man.
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但是男的卻獲得較多的薪資，
原因只是因為他是「男性」。
原因只是因為他是「男性」。
07:20
So in the literal way, men rule the world,
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所以實務上來看掌控世界的是男性，
07:23
and this made sense a thousand years ago
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而且數千年以來都是理所當然，
07:27
because human beings lived then in a world
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因為人類當初的生存環境，
07:30
in which physical strength was
the most important attribute for survival.
the most important attribute for survival.
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體格強壯是當時首要的生存條件，
07:34
The physically stronger person
was more likely to lead,
was more likely to lead,
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所以身體強壯的人才可能做領袖，
而男性身體普遍較為強壯。
07:39
and men, in general,
are physically stronger.
are physically stronger.
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07:41
Of course there are many exceptions.
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當然也有很多例外。
07:43
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
07:45
But today we live
in a vastly different world.
in a vastly different world.
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但是今天我們生活在大不同的世界。
07:49
The person more likely to lead
is not the physically stronger person;
is not the physically stronger person;
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體格強壯已不再是當領袖的條件，
07:53
it is the more creative person,
the more intelligent person,
the more intelligent person,
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而是富有創造力和智慧，
07:57
the more innovative person,
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能夠創新的人，
07:59
and there are no hormones
for those attributes.
for those attributes.
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這些特質並非由荷爾蒙來決定。
08:02
A man is as likely as a woman
to be intelligent,
to be intelligent,
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在智力上男性與女性都一樣，
08:05
to be creative, to be innovative.
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在創造和革新上亦是如此。
08:07
We have evolved;
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我們已經進化，
08:09
but it seems to me that our ideas
of gender had not evolved.
of gender had not evolved.
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但是性別觀念依舊是停滯不進。
08:13
Some weeks ago, I walked into a lobby
of one of the best Nigerian hotels.
of one of the best Nigerian hotels.
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之前，我走進奈及利亞一家酒店大廳，
08:18
I thought about naming the hotel,
but I thought I probably shouldn't.
but I thought I probably shouldn't.
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想一下要不要說出它的店名，算了。
08:21
And a guard at the entrance stopped me
and asked me annoying questions,
and asked me annoying questions,
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門口的警衛攔住我
並問了些惱人的事，
並問了些惱人的事，
08:25
because their automatic assumption is
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因為他們很自然的認為，
08:27
that a Nigerian female walking
into a hotel alone is a sex worker.
into a hotel alone is a sex worker.
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一個獨自進入酒店的奈及利亞女人
必定是個妓女。
必定是個妓女。
08:33
And by the way,
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順便問一下，
08:34
why do these hotels
focus on the ostensible supply
focus on the ostensible supply
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為什麼這些酒店
只在乎提供沒用的用品，
只在乎提供沒用的用品，
08:37
rather than the demand for sex workers?
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何不乾脆直接提供性的服務呢？
08:41
In Lagos I cannot go alone
into many "reputable" bars and clubs.
into many "reputable" bars and clubs.
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拉哥斯很多富有聲譽的酒吧和俱樂部
我是無法單獨進入的。
我是無法單獨進入的。
08:46
They just don't let you in
if you're a woman alone,
if you're a woman alone,
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他們就是不讓女性單獨進去，
08:49
you have to be accompanied by a man.
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你必須有男人陪伴才能進去。
08:51
Each time I walk into
a Nigerian restaurant with a man,
a Nigerian restaurant with a man,
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每次我帶男性
進入奈及利亞的餐廳，
進入奈及利亞的餐廳，
08:54
the waiter greets the man and ignores me.
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服務員只招呼男人，
卻忘了我的存在。
卻忘了我的存在。
服務員是商品。
08:58
The waiters are products --
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08:59
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
09:01
At this some women
felt like, "Yes! I thought that!"
felt like, "Yes! I thought that!"
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女人對這點的反應好像是，
「是啊！我想也是！」
「是啊！我想也是！」
09:03
The waiters are products of a society
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這些服務員是社會的產物，
09:05
that has taught them that men
are more important than women.
are more important than women.
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社會教育他們男人比女人重要。
09:10
And I know that waiters
don't intend any harm.
don't intend any harm.
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我也知道服務員無意冒犯我。
09:13
But it's one thing to know intellectually
and quite another to feel it emotionally.
and quite another to feel it emotionally.
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但是理性上的理解是一回事，
情緒上的感覺卻是另一回事。
情緒上的感覺卻是另一回事。
09:17
Each time they ignore me,
I feel invisible.
I feel invisible.
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每次我被忽視，
就讓我感到不存在一樣。
就讓我感到不存在一樣。
09:19
I feel upset.
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我感到很沮喪。
09:21
I want to tell them
that I am just as human as the man,
that I am just as human as the man,
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我想告訴他們
我跟男人一樣也是人，
我跟男人一樣也是人，
09:25
that I'm just as worthy of acknowledgment.
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我也值得被人感謝。
09:28
These are little things,
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這些都是小事，
09:30
but sometimes it's the little things
that sting the most.
that sting the most.
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但有時小事卻最令人傷痛。
09:33
And not long ago, I wrote an article
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不久之前我寫了篇文章，
09:35
about what it means
to be young and female in Lagos,
to be young and female in Lagos,
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關於身為拉哥斯
年輕女性所代表的意義，
年輕女性所代表的意義，
09:38
and the printers told me,
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然後印刷商告訴說：
09:41
"It was so angry."
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「那本書充滿怒氣哦。」
09:42
Of course it was angry!
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當然真的是非常令人生氣的！
09:44
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
09:48
I am angry.
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我很生氣。
09:50
Gender as it functions today
is a grave injustice.
is a grave injustice.
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今日性別差異仍是非常不公平。
09:53
We should all be angry.
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我們都應該感到憤怒。
09:55
Anger has a long history
of bringing about positive change;
of bringing about positive change;
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歷史上憤怒曾帶來很多正面的改變。
09:59
but, in addition to being angry,
I'm also hopeful.
I'm also hopeful.
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但是除了憤怒之外，我也懷著希望。
10:02
Because I believe deeply
in the ability of human beings
in the ability of human beings
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因為我深信人類的能力
10:05
to make and remake
themselves for the better.
themselves for the better.
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可以為了更好的未來
而去創造和改造。
而去創造和改造。
10:08
Gender matters everywhere in the world,
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全世界的性別問題都至關重要，
10:10
but I want to focus on Nigeria
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但是我想聚焦於奈及利亞，
10:13
and on Africa in general,
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以及整個非洲，
10:15
because it is where I know,
and because it is where my heart is.
and because it is where my heart is.
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因為這是我的家鄉，
也是我心之所向。
也是我心之所向。
10:18
And I would like today to ask
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今天我想要求大家
10:20
that we begin to dream about
and plan for a different world,
and plan for a different world,
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開始夢想和籌畫一個不一樣的世界，
10:24
a fairer world,
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一個更公平的世界，
10:28
a world of happier men and happier women
who are truer to themselves.
who are truer to themselves.
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一個男人和女人都比現在更開心
和更真實的世界。
和更真實的世界。
10:32
And this is how to start:
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讓我們這樣開始做：
10:34
we must raise our daughters differently.
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我們要用不同的方式教育女兒，
10:36
We must also raise our sons differently.
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我們也要用不同的方式教育兒子。
10:40
We do a great disservice to boys
on how we raise them;
on how we raise them;
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我們養育男孩的方式
大大地幫了他們倒忙，
大大地幫了他們倒忙，
10:43
we stifle the humanity of boys.
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抹煞了男孩的人性。
10:46
We define masculinity
in a very narrow way,
in a very narrow way,
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把「大丈夫氣概」定義得很狹隘，
10:49
masculinity becomes this hard, small cage
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把大丈夫氣概視為
一個堅固狹小的牢籠，
一個堅固狹小的牢籠，
10:52
and we put boys inside the cage.
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再把男孩關進去。
10:54
We teach boys to be afraid of fear.
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我們教男孩害怕恐懼。
10:57
We teach boys to be afraid
of weakness, of vulnerability.
of weakness, of vulnerability.
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我們教男孩害怕短處和脆弱。
11:02
We teach them to mask their true selves,
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讓男孩隱藏自己真實的一面，
11:04
because they have to be,
in Nigerian speak, "hard man!"
in Nigerian speak, "hard man!"
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因為他們必須做一個
奈及利亞人所說的「硬漢」。
奈及利亞人所說的「硬漢」。
11:10
In secondary school, a boy and a girl,
both of them teenagers,
both of them teenagers,
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同年紀的中學男孩和女孩，
兩者都是十來歲的年輕人，
11:14
both of them with the same amount
of pocket money, would go out
of pocket money, would go out
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兩者都有同樣多的零用錢在口袋裡，
11:18
and then the boy
would be expected always to pay,
would be expected always to pay,
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一起出去玩的時候，
總是讓男生付錢，
總是讓男生付錢，
11:20
to prove his masculinity.
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來讓他展現男子氣概。
11:23
And yet we wonder why boys are more likely
to steal money from their parents.
to steal money from their parents.
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而我們還在困惑
為何男生較會從家裡偷錢。
為何男生較會從家裡偷錢。
假如我們在養育男生和女生的時候
11:29
What if both boys and girls were raised
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11:32
not to link masculinity with money?
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不把金錢和男子氣概
聯想在一起，會怎樣？
聯想在一起，會怎樣？
11:35
What if the attitude
was not "the boy has to pay"
was not "the boy has to pay"
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如果我們把「男生付錢」的態度改成
11:38
but rather "whoever has more should pay?"
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「誰錢多誰付錢」那麼又會怎樣？
11:42
Now, of course because
of that historical advantage,
of that historical advantage,
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當然，由於歷史的優勢，
11:44
it is mostly men who will have more today,
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大多情況下男人會比較富有一些，
11:47
but if we start
raising children differently,
raising children differently,
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但是如果我們開始改變
教育孩子的方式，
教育孩子的方式，
11:50
then in fifty years, in a hundred years,
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五十年後，一百年後，
11:52
boys will no longer have the pressure
of having to prove this masculinity.
of having to prove this masculinity.
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屆時男人將不再被迫
去證明自己的男子氣概。
去證明自己的男子氣概。
11:57
But by far the worst thing we do to males,
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但到目前為止，
教導他們覺得自己必須要做硬漢，
教導他們覺得自己必須要做硬漢，
12:00
by making them feel
that they have to be hard,
that they have to be hard,
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這件事最糟的結果是：
12:03
is that we leave them
with very fragile egos.
with very fragile egos.
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我們留給他們一個非常脆弱的自我。
12:07
The more "hard man"
the man feels compelled to be,
the man feels compelled to be,
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男人被迫成為硬漢的感覺越強烈，
12:11
the weaker his ego is.
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他的自我就越脆弱。
12:14
And then we do a much greater
disservice to girls
disservice to girls
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而我們又再用
更不親和的方式教育女孩，
更不親和的方式教育女孩，
12:18
because we raise them
to cater to the fragile egos of men.
to cater to the fragile egos of men.
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因為我們教育她們
去迎合男人脆弱的自我，
去迎合男人脆弱的自我，
12:22
We teach girls to shrink themselves,
to make themselves smaller,
to make themselves smaller,
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我們教育女孩子收斂自己，
讓自己變得更卑微。
12:25
we say to girls,
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對女生說：
12:27
"You can have ambition, but not too much."
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「妳可以有野心，但是不要過多。」
12:29
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
12:31
"You should aim to be successful,
but not too successful,
but not too successful,
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「你要朝著成功努力，但不需要太成功，
12:33
otherwise you would threaten the man."
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否則妳會威脅到男人。」
12:36
If you are the breadwinner
in your relationship with a man,
in your relationship with a man,
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如果妳是負責養家糊口的人，
12:39
you have to pretend that you're not,
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妳就要假裝沒老公賺得多，
12:41
especially in public,
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尤其是公開場合，
12:43
otherwise you will emasculate him.
251
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不然會讓妳的男人喪失男子氣概。
但是如果我們質疑這個前提呢？
12:46
But what if we question
the premise itself?
the premise itself?
252
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12:49
Why should a woman's success
be a threat to a man?
be a threat to a man?
253
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為什麼一個女人事業有成
就會威脅到男人了呢？
就會威脅到男人了呢？
12:53
What if we decide
to simply dispose of that word,
to simply dispose of that word,
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為什麼我們不直接拋棄那個字，
12:56
and I don't think there's an English word
I dislike more than "emasculation."
I dislike more than "emasculation."
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那個我最不喜歡的英文字：「閹割」
13:02
A Nigerian acquaintance once asked me
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有位奈及利亞的舊識問我
13:05
if I was worried that men
would be intimidated by me.
would be intimidated by me.
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是否擔心自己會嚇到男人？
13:08
I was not worried at all.
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我根本不會擔心。
13:10
In fact, it had not occurred
to me to be worried
to me to be worried
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事實上我從未擔心過，
13:12
because a man who would
be intimidated by me
be intimidated by me
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因為會被我嚇到的男人，
13:14
is exactly the kind of man
I would have no interest in.
I would have no interest in.
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絕對不是我喜歡的菜。
13:17
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
13:18
(Applause)
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（掌聲）
13:26
But still I was really struck by this.
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但是我還是會對這件事受到打擊。
13:29
Because I'm female,
I'm expected to aspire to marriage;
I'm expected to aspire to marriage;
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因為我是女性，
我被要求以婚姻為重。
我被要求以婚姻為重。
13:33
I'm expected to make my life choices
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我被期待在做出人生抉擇的時候，
13:35
always keeping in mind
that marriage is the most important.
that marriage is the most important.
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總是要以婚姻為優先的考慮。
13:40
A marriage can be a good thing;
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1976
婚姻可以是好事；
13:42
it can be a source of joy
and love and mutual support.
and love and mutual support.
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婚姻是愛與快樂、互相支援的來源。
13:46
But why do we teach girls
to aspire to marriage
to aspire to marriage
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但是為何我們只教育女兒追求婚姻，
13:48
and we don't teach boys the same?
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而沒教育男孩同樣的婚姻觀？
我認識一個賣掉自己房子的女人，
13:52
I know a woman
who decided to sell her house
who decided to sell her house
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13:55
because she didn't want
to intimidate a man who might marry her.
to intimidate a man who might marry her.
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因為她不希望嚇到打算娶她的男人。
13:59
I know an unmarried woman in Nigeria
who, when she goes to conferences,
who, when she goes to conferences,
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我認識一位單身的奈及利亞的女性，
每次開會時，
手上都會戴枚結婚戒指，
手上都會戴枚結婚戒指，
14:04
wears a wedding ring
275
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14:05
because according to her,
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因為她說：
14:07
she wants the other participants
in the conference to "give her respect."
in the conference to "give her respect."
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她希望其他與會的人「尊重她」。
14:12
I know young women
who are under so much pressure
who are under so much pressure
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我知道年輕女人的壓力都很大，
14:14
from family, from friends,
even from work to get married,
even from work to get married,
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親朋好友甚至同儕都逼著她結婚，
14:18
and they're pushed
to make terrible choices.
to make terrible choices.
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結果她們被迫做出糟糕的選擇。
14:21
A woman at a certain age who is unmarried,
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一個女人到了一定年齡還沒嫁出去，
14:24
our society teaches her
to see it as a deep, personal failure.
to see it as a deep, personal failure.
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輿論會讓她覺得
這是極大的個人失敗。
這是極大的個人失敗。
14:29
And a man at a certain age
who is unmarried,
who is unmarried,
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然而一個男人到了
一定年齡還沒有結婚，
一定年齡還沒有結婚，
14:31
we just think he hasn't come around
to making his pick.
to making his pick.
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大家只會說他還沒遇到合適的對象。
14:34
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
14:36
It's easy for us to say,
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我們都可以很輕鬆地說：
14:38
"Oh, but women can
just say no to all of this."
just say no to all of this."
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「哦，但女人也可以拒絕這些啊。」
14:40
But the reality is more difficult
and more complex.
and more complex.
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但是現實比這更複雜、更困難。
14:43
We're all social beings.
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我們都是社會的一份子。
14:45
We internalize ideas
from our socialization.
from our socialization.
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我們把社會的看法加以內化。
14:47
Even the language we use
291
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甚至我們使用的語言，
14:49
in talking about marriage
and relationships illustrates this.
and relationships illustrates this.
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當討論婚姻時，描述婚姻關係時，
14:53
The language of marriage
is often the language of ownership
is often the language of ownership
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談的都是「所有權」的話語，
14:56
rather than the language of partnership.
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而非「夥伴關係」的語言。
14:58
We use the word "respect"
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我們使用「尊重」這個字，
15:01
to mean something a woman shows a man
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來形容女人對男人的態度
15:04
but often not something
a man shows a woman.
a man shows a woman.
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而常常不是男人對女人的態度。
15:08
Both men and women in Nigeria will say --
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奈及利亞的男女都會說
15:10
this is an expression
I'm very amused by --
I'm very amused by --
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──這個說法讓我啼笑皆非──
15:12
"I did it for peace in my marriage."
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「我這樣做是為了婚姻的和諧。」
但輪到男人這麼說的時候，
15:16
Now, when men say it,
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15:18
it is usually about something
that they should not be doing anyway.
that they should not be doing anyway.
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通常是指的是「不該」做的事。
15:21
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
15:23
Sometimes they say it to their friends,
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有時男人會對朋友那樣說，
15:25
it's something to say to their friends
in a kind of fondly exasperated way,
in a kind of fondly exasperated way,
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那些與朋友交談時的話題，
用一種既憐愛又惱怒的口氣，
用一種既憐愛又惱怒的口氣，
15:29
you know, something that ultimately
proves how masculine they are,
proves how masculine they are,
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就是那種最能夠男子氣概的口吻，
多麼享受那種被人依賴與關愛的感覺。
15:33
how needed, how loved.
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15:34
"Oh, my wife said
I can't go to the club every night,
I can't go to the club every night,
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2496
「呃，我妻子叫我不要每晚來俱樂部，
15:37
so for peace in my marriage,
I do it only on weekends."
I do it only on weekends."
309
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2816
所以為了這個家我只能週末才來。」
15:39
(Laughter)
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1696
（笑聲）
15:41
Now, when a woman says,
"I did it for peace in my marriage,"
"I did it for peace in my marriage,"
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是當女人說；
「我是為了這個家」的時候，
「我是為了這個家」的時候，
15:45
she's usually talking
about giving up a job,
about giving up a job,
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3536
通常她指的是放棄一份工作，
15:49
a dream,
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放棄夢想，
15:50
a career.
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放棄事業。
15:53
We teach females that in relationships,
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2416
我們教育婦女為了婚姻，
15:55
compromise is what women do.
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妥協是女人的本分。
15:59
We raise girls to see
each other as competitors --
each other as competitors --
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我們教導女兒們視彼此為競爭者
16:01
not for jobs or for accomplishments,
which I think can be a good thing,
which I think can be a good thing,
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3456
──不是為了工作或成就的競爭，
我視這種競爭為好事──
16:05
but for attention of men.
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而是為了吸引男人。
16:07
We teach girls that they
cannot be sexual beings
cannot be sexual beings
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2936
我們告訴女孩子不能打扮得太火辣，
16:10
in the way that boys are.
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不可像男人那樣。
16:12
If we have sons, we don't mind
knowing about our sons' girlfriends.
knowing about our sons' girlfriends.
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如果是兒子的女朋友，
我們就不會介意。
我們就不會介意。
16:16
But our daughters' boyfriends? God forbid.
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2336
但如果是女兒的男朋友？
那可就上帝也不容了。
那可就上帝也不容了。
16:18
(Laughter)
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1616
（笑聲）
16:20
But of course when the time is right,
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1816
當然，到了適合的時間，
16:22
we expect those girls to bring back
the perfect man to be their husbands.
the perfect man to be their husbands.
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3896
我們期盼女兒帶回來的
是一個可做她的丈夫的完美男人。
是一個可做她的丈夫的完美男人。
16:26
We police girls,
we praise girls for virginity,
we praise girls for virginity,
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3376
我們約束女兒保持童貞，
16:29
but we don't praise boys for virginity,
328
977640
1936
但我們不要求男孩保持童貞。
16:31
and it's always made me wonder how exactly
this is supposed to work out because ...
this is supposed to work out because ...
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3905
讓我好奇的是
這種事要怎樣才行得通呢？因為──
這種事要怎樣才行得通呢？因為──
16:35
(Laughter)
330
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2327
（笑聲）
16:37
(Applause)
331
985880
2960
（掌聲）
16:45
I mean, the loss of virginity
is usually a process that involves ...
is usually a process that involves ...
332
993760
3400
我的意思是
失去童貞的過程通常需要──
失去童貞的過程通常需要──
16:50
Recently a young woman
was gang raped in a university in Nigeria,
was gang raped in a university in Nigeria,
333
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4176
最近一名奈及利亞大學的女生被輪姦，
16:54
I think some of us know about that.
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1696
我想有些人可能聽說了。
16:56
And the response of many young Nigerians,
both male and female,
both male and female,
335
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3256
然後很多奈及利亞的男女反應是，
16:59
was something along the lines of this:
336
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2496
類似這樣：
17:02
"Yes, rape is wrong.
337
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2176
「沒錯，強姦是不對的。
17:04
But what is a girl doing
in a room with four boys?"
in a room with four boys?"
338
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3280
但是為什麼一個女孩
會和四個男生同處一室呢？」
會和四個男生同處一室呢？」
17:08
Now, if we can forget
the horrible inhumanity of that response,
the horrible inhumanity of that response,
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4120
暫且不談那種可怕又殘酷的反應，
17:14
these Nigerians have been raised
to think of women as inherently guilty,
to think of women as inherently guilty,
340
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3920
奈及利亞人已被教育成
女人與生有罪，
女人與生有罪，
17:19
and they have been raised
to expect so little of men
to expect so little of men
341
1027319
3136
他們的也被養育成
不要對男性期望太高，
不要對男性期望太高，
17:22
that the idea of men as savage beings
without any control
without any control
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3695
男性做出失控不理性的獸行，
17:26
is somehow acceptable.
343
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1240
總是可以理解的。
17:28
We teach girls shame.
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2017
我們教育女性要懂得廉恥，
17:30
"Close your legs." "Cover yourself."
345
1038880
1880
「把腿夾緊」， 「別穿得那麼暴露」。
17:33
We make them feel
as though by being born female
as though by being born female
346
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2255
我們把女孩弄得好像身為女人，
17:35
they're already guilty of something.
347
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2096
天生就是有罪的。
17:37
And so, girls grow up to be women
348
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2336
因此，女孩長大成女人後，
17:40
who cannot see they have desire.
349
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2136
我們見不得她們有慾望。
17:42
They grow up to be women
who silence themselves.
who silence themselves.
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2880
她們最好閉上嘴巴。
17:47
They grow up to be women
who cannot say what they truly think,
who cannot say what they truly think,
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3416
她們長大後不能說出自己內心的話，
17:50
and they grow up --
352
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1336
她們長大後──
17:51
and this is the worst thing
we did to girls --
we did to girls --
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2176
這是我們對女孩
做的最糟糕的事情──
做的最糟糕的事情──
17:54
they grow up to be women
who have turned pretense into an art form.
who have turned pretense into an art form.
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4136
她們長大後把這種虛偽當成是藝術。
17:58
(Applause)
355
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3840
（掌聲）
18:04
I know a woman who hates domestic work,
356
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3416
我認識一個很討厭做家事的女人，
18:07
she just hates it,
357
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1496
她就是不喜歡做家事，
18:09
but she pretends that she likes it,
358
1077400
1720
但是她假裝成很喜歡，
18:12
because she's been taught
that to be "good wife material"
that to be "good wife material"
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4096
因為她從小被教育要當個「好老婆」，
18:16
she has to be --
to use that Nigerian word --
to use that Nigerian word --
360
1084320
2376
用奈及利亞的話來說，
她不得不表現得非常「居家」。
18:18
very "homely."
361
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1480
18:21
And then she got married,
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1536
等到她結了婚，
18:23
and after a while her husband's family
began to complain that she had changed.
began to complain that she had changed.
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3816
沒多久她的婆家開始抱怨她人變了。
18:26
(Laughter)
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1576
（笑聲）
18:28
Actually, she had not changed,
365
1096440
1456
實際上她沒變，
18:29
she just got tired of pretending.
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1920
她只是演得累了。
18:32
The problem with gender,
367
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3136
關於「性別」的問題，
18:35
is that it prescribes how we should be
368
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2536
出在我們對它設下了
「應該是甚麼」的規定，
「應該是甚麼」的規定，
18:38
rather than recognizing how we are.
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2000
而不是去理解我們「如何做」。
18:41
Now imagine how much happier we would be,
370
1109400
2456
想像如果能做真正的自己
18:43
how much freer to be
our true individual selves,
our true individual selves,
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3496
會有多快樂、多自由，
18:47
if we didn't have the weight
of gender expectations.
of gender expectations.
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2640
免除掉性別帶來的包袱。
18:51
Boys and girls are
undeniably different biologically,
undeniably different biologically,
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1119240
4776
男性和女性生理上
毫無疑問是有差異的，
毫無疑問是有差異的，
18:56
but socialization
exaggerates the differences
exaggerates the differences
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2976
但是社會誇大了這種差異性，
18:59
and then it becomes
a self-fulfilling process.
a self-fulfilling process.
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2576
使它轉變成一種自我實現的過程。
19:01
Now, take cooking for example.
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1129640
2040
我們拿烹飪為例；
19:04
Today women in general are more likely
to do the housework than men,
to do the housework than men,
377
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3496
現代的女人比男人
要負擔更多的家務，
要負擔更多的家務，
19:07
the cooking and cleaning.
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1135800
1256
例如烹飪和打掃。
19:09
But why is that?
379
1137080
1576
但是為什麼是那樣呢？
19:10
Is it because women
are born with a cooking gene?
are born with a cooking gene?
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2856
難不成女人生來就有烹飪的基因嗎？
19:13
(Laughter)
381
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1416
（笑聲）
19:15
Or because over years they have been
socialized to see cooking as their role?
socialized to see cooking as their role?
382
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4256
還是說經過多年社會化以後，
她們已經視烹飪為女性的天職？
19:19
Actually, I was going to say that maybe
women are born with a cooking gene,
women are born with a cooking gene,
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1147280
3576
我一直以為女人的確具有烹飪的基因，
19:22
until I remember that the majority
of the famous cooks in the world,
of the famous cooks in the world,
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1150880
3456
直到我憶起世上知名的大廚，
19:26
whom we give the fancy title of "chefs,"
385
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2296
那些我們給他戴上「大廚」帽子的人，
19:28
are men.
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1200
卻多數是「男性」。
19:30
I used to look up to my grandmother
387
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1696
我過去非常敬仰我外婆，
19:32
who was a brilliant, brilliant woman,
388
1160680
2056
她是位非常睿智的女人，
19:34
and wonder how she would have been
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1736
我很好奇在她成長過程中，
19:36
if she had the same opportunities
as men when she was growing up.
as men when she was growing up.
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1164520
3360
如果像男性有同樣的機會，她會怎麼樣。
19:40
Now today, there are
many more opportunities for women
many more opportunities for women
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1168960
2576
今天的女人有了很多機會，
19:43
than there were
during my grandmother's time
during my grandmother's time
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2256
比我外婆那一代還要多，
19:45
because of changes in policy,
changes in law,
changes in law,
393
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2616
歸功於政策和法律的改變，
19:48
all of which are very important.
394
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1576
所有改變都很重要。
19:50
But what matters even more
is our attitude, our mindset,
is our attitude, our mindset,
395
1178080
4536
但是更重要的是我們的態度和思維，
19:54
what we believe
and what we value about gender.
and what we value about gender.
396
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3296
對於性別的信念和價值觀。
19:57
What if in raising children
397
1185960
2416
如果我們撫養孩子時，
多關注能力而不是性別？
多關注能力而不是性別？
20:00
we focus on ability instead of gender?
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1188400
2800
如果我們關注於興趣而不是性別呢？
20:04
What if in raising children
we focus on interest instead of gender?
we focus on interest instead of gender?
399
1192000
4120
20:09
I know a family
who have a son and a daughter,
who have a son and a daughter,
400
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2216
我認識的某一家人，有一男一女，
20:11
both of whom are brilliant at school,
401
1199240
1896
兒女在學校表現都很好，
20:13
who are wonderful, lovely children.
402
1201160
1896
都是很討人喜歡的孩子。
20:15
When the boy is hungry,
the parents say to the girl,
the parents say to the girl,
403
1203080
2536
當兒子餓了的時候，
父母會對女兒說：
父母會對女兒說：
20:17
"Go and cook Indomie noodles
for your brother."
for your brother."
404
1205640
2216
「去給你哥哥下碗印尼泡麵吃。」
20:19
(Laughter)
405
1207880
1216
（笑聲）
20:21
Now, the daughter doesn't
particularly like to cook Indomie noodles,
particularly like to cook Indomie noodles,
406
1209120
3496
這個女兒並不特別喜歡印尼泡麵了，
20:24
but she's a girl, and so she has to.
407
1212640
2776
但是因為她是女孩，她不得不做。
20:27
Now, what if the parents,
408
1215440
1776
現在，如果這對父母，
20:29
from the beginning,
409
1217240
1616
從一開始，
教導兒子和女兒
都去學煮印尼式泡麵呢？
都去學煮印尼式泡麵呢？
20:30
taught both the boy and the girl
to cook Indomie?
to cook Indomie?
410
1218880
3920
20:35
Cooking, by the way,
is a very useful skill for boys to have.
is a very useful skill for boys to have.
411
1223920
3016
順便說一下；
煮飯對男生也是非常重要的技能。
煮飯對男生也是非常重要的技能。
20:38
I've never thought it made sense
to leave such a crucial thing,
to leave such a crucial thing,
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我從來不覺得這樣有道理：
把餵飽一個人這樣重要的能力
20:43
the ability to nourish oneself --
413
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交由他人代勞，
20:45
(Laughter)
414
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20:47
in the hands of others.
415
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（笑聲）（掌聲）
20:48
(Applause)
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20:53
I know a woman who has the same degree
and the same job as her husband.
and the same job as her husband.
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我認識一個女人，
學歷和工作跟她的丈夫都一樣，
學歷和工作跟她的丈夫都一樣，
20:57
When they get back from work,
she does most of the housework,
she does most of the housework,
418
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2896
下班回家後，大部分家務都由她來做，
21:00
which I think is true for many marriages.
419
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我相信大部分婚姻都是如此。
21:02
But what struck me about them
420
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但是真正讓我震驚的是；
21:04
was that whenever her husband
changed the baby's diaper,
changed the baby's diaper,
421
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2976
每當她丈夫替孩子換尿片的時候，
21:07
she said "thank you" to him.
422
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她都會跟老公說「謝謝你。」
21:11
Now, what if she saw this
as perfectly normal and natural
as perfectly normal and natural
423
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現在，如果她把這件事視為理所當然呢？
21:15
that he should, in fact,
care for his child?
care for his child?
424
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3336
老公不是都應該照顧自己的孩子嗎？
21:18
(Laughter)
425
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1840
（笑聲）
我一直想忘記有關性別差異的教導，
21:21
I'm trying to unlearn
many of the lessons of gender
many of the lessons of gender
426
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那些成長過程中
已然內化而帶來的教訓。
已然內化而帶來的教訓。
21:25
that I internalized when I was growing up.
427
1273200
2296
21:27
But I sometimes still feel very vulnerable
in the face of gender expectations.
in the face of gender expectations.
428
1275520
5056
但當面對性別期望時，
有時我仍會感到脆弱。
有時我仍會感到脆弱。
21:32
The first time I taught
a writing class in graduate school,
a writing class in graduate school,
429
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3000
當我第一次在研究所
指導寫作的時候，
指導寫作的時候，
21:36
I was worried.
430
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1256
我很擔心。
21:37
I wasn't worried
about the material I would teach
about the material I would teach
431
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2336
但不是擔心教材的問題，
21:40
because I was well-prepared,
432
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1336
因為我的教材準備得很充分，
21:41
and I was going to teach
what I enjoy teaching.
what I enjoy teaching.
433
1289360
2216
而且我非常喜歡教書的工作。
21:43
Instead, I was worried about what to wear.
434
1291600
2080
讓我擔心的反而是
穿甚麼衣服的問題。
穿甚麼衣服的問題。
21:46
I wanted to be taken seriously.
435
1294680
1600
我很希望被嚴肅地看待。
21:49
I knew that because I was female
436
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因為我知道自己是女性，
21:51
I will automatically
have to prove my worth.
have to prove my worth.
437
1299080
3160
我必須主動的證明自己的價值。
21:55
And I was worried
that if I looked too feminine,
that if I looked too feminine,
438
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2256
我擔心如果我穿得太女性化，
21:57
I would not be taken seriously.
439
1305520
1776
我會被人輕視。
21:59
I really wanted to wear
my shiny lip gloss and my girly skirt,
my shiny lip gloss and my girly skirt,
440
1307320
4336
我真的很想擦上閃亮的唇膏，
和穿那些很有女人味的裙子，
和穿那些很有女人味的裙子，
22:03
but I decided not to.
441
1311680
1816
但是我決定算了。
22:05
Instead, I wore a very serious,
442
1313520
2376
相反的我穿了一件非常正式的，
22:07
very manly and very ugly suit.
443
1315920
2576
很男性化、很醜陋的套裝。
22:10
(Laughter)
444
1318520
1496
（笑聲）
22:12
Because the sad truth is
that when it comes to appearance
that when it comes to appearance
445
1320040
2696
因為可悲的是，當牽涉到衣著時，
22:14
we start off with men
as the standard, as the norm.
as the standard, as the norm.
446
1322760
2600
我們必須以男人的標準為規範。
22:17
If a man is getting ready
for a business meeting,
for a business meeting,
447
1325960
2336
如果是男人在準備參加業務會議，
22:20
he doesn't worry
about looking too masculine
about looking too masculine
448
1328320
2136
他不需要擔心是否穿得太男性化
22:22
and therefore not being taken for granted.
449
1330480
2496
以致被人佔便宜。
22:25
If a woman has to get ready
for business meeting,
for business meeting,
450
1333000
2496
但是當女人準備參加業務會議時，
22:27
she has to worry
about looking too feminine
about looking too feminine
451
1335520
2776
她必須注意不要穿得太女性化，
22:30
and what it says and whether or not
she will be taken seriously.
she will be taken seriously.
452
1338320
4280
免得別人不嚴肅地看待她。
22:36
I wish I had not worn
that ugly suit that day.
that ugly suit that day.
453
1344000
2200
我真希望那天沒穿那件醜陋的套裝。
順便提一下，我已經
從衣櫃取出那套裝扔了。
從衣櫃取出那套裝扔了。
22:39
I've actually banished it
from my closet, by the way.
from my closet, by the way.
454
1347440
3136
22:42
Had I then the confidence
that I have now to be myself,
that I have now to be myself,
455
1350600
4936
假如當時我有現在的自信
做真正的自己，
做真正的自己，
22:47
my students would have benefited
even more from my teaching,
even more from my teaching,
456
1355560
2936
我的學生可以學得更多，
22:50
because I would have been more comfortable
457
1358520
2056
因為我會更自在、
22:52
and more fully and more truly myself.
458
1360600
2000
更完整、更真實地呈現自我。
22:55
I have chosen to no longer
be apologetic for my femaleness
be apologetic for my femaleness
459
1363800
4016
我已決定不再為我的女性化
和女權主張而道歉。
22:59
and for my femininity.
460
1367840
1200
23:01
(Applause)
461
1369680
3000
（掌聲）
23:07
And I want to be respected
in all of my femaleness
in all of my femaleness
462
1375800
2856
而且我希望我的女性特點得到尊重，
23:10
because I deserve to be.
463
1378680
1560
因為我值得被尊重。
23:13
Gender is not an easy
conversation to have.
conversation to have.
464
1381200
2440
性別差異不是很好談的話題，
23:17
For both men and women,
465
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1576
無論男人或是女人，
23:18
to bring up gender is sometimes
to encounter almost immediate resistance.
to encounter almost immediate resistance.
466
1386680
3936
挑起性別話題
有時會遭到立即的反彈。
有時會遭到立即的反彈。
23:22
I can imagine some people here
are actually thinking,
are actually thinking,
467
1390640
3256
我能想像有些人現在實際的想法
23:25
"Women too do sef."
468
1393920
1920
是「女人是自作自受。」
在座的某些男性可能會想：
23:29
Some of the men here might be thinking,
469
1397520
2176
「好吧，聽起來很有道理，
23:31
"OK, all of this is interesting,
470
1399720
1736
23:33
but I don't think like that."
471
1401480
1560
但是我不這麼想。」
23:35
And that is part of the problem.
472
1403960
2216
而這就是部分問題之所在。
23:38
That many men do not
actively think about gender
actively think about gender
473
1406200
2976
很多男人並不會主動思考性別的問題
23:41
or notice gender
474
1409200
1496
或注意性別本身，
23:42
is part of the problem of gender.
475
1410720
2016
那就是性別問題的一部分。
23:44
That many men, say, like my friend Louis,
476
1412760
2656
很多男人，就像我的朋友路易士，
23:47
that everything is fine now.
477
1415440
1680
認為現在一切都不錯啊。
23:50
And that many men do nothing to change it.
478
1418160
2856
很多男人不想改變現狀。
23:53
If you are a man and you walk
into a restaurant with a woman
into a restaurant with a woman
479
1421040
2856
如果你是一個帶著
女人進入餐廳的男人，
女人進入餐廳的男人，
23:55
and the waiter greets only you,
480
1423920
1680
如果服務員只跟你接待你，
23:58
does it occur to you to ask the waiter,
481
1426400
2496
你有沒有問過服務員：
24:00
"Why haven't you greeted her?"
482
1428920
1560
「為什麼你沒招待她？」
24:05
Because gender can be --
483
1433320
1496
因為性別可以──
24:06
(Laughter)
484
1434840
2080
（笑聲）
24:16
Actually, we may repose
part of a longer version of this talk.
part of a longer version of this talk.
485
1444880
4496
也許我們可以休息一下，
這場演講真的很長。
這場演講真的很長。
24:21
So, because gender can be
a very uncomfortable conversation to have,
a very uncomfortable conversation to have,
486
1449400
3576
因為談論性別問題
可能令人非常不舒服，
可能令人非常不舒服，
24:25
there are very easy ways to close it,
to close the conversation.
to close the conversation.
487
1453000
3096
有一個簡單方法能化解它。
24:28
So some people will bring up
evolutionary biology and apes,
evolutionary biology and apes,
488
1456120
4176
有些人可能會提出進化論和猩猩，
24:32
how, you know, female apes
bow down to male apes
bow down to male apes
489
1460320
3656
你知道雌性猩猩
會向雄性猩猩彎腰低頭，
會向雄性猩猩彎腰低頭，
24:36
and that sort of thing.
490
1464000
1240
諸如此類。
24:37
But the point is we're not apes.
491
1465880
2056
但重點是：我們不是猩猩。
24:39
(Laughter)
492
1467960
1416
（笑聲）
24:41
(Applause)
493
1469400
4000
（掌聲）
24:46
Apes also live on trees
and have earthworms for breakfast,
and have earthworms for breakfast,
494
1474160
4816
猩猩生活在樹上，吃蚯蚓當早飯，
24:51
and we don't.
495
1479000
1200
我們不然。
24:53
Some people will say,
"Well, poor men also have a hard time."
"Well, poor men also have a hard time."
496
1481240
4000
有人會反駁說：
「窮男人也過得很辛苦。」
「窮男人也過得很辛苦。」
24:57
And this is true.
497
1485880
1200
這的確是。
24:59
But that is not what this --
498
1487920
1336
但那與這毫不相干──
25:01
(Laughter)
499
1489280
1096
（笑聲）
25:02
But this is not
what this conversation is about.
what this conversation is about.
500
1490400
2680
但那不是我們在此討論的主題。
25:06
Gender and class
are different forms of oppression.
are different forms of oppression.
501
1494480
3776
性別和社會階級
都是被壓抑的不同形式。
都是被壓抑的不同形式。
25:10
I actually learned quite a bit
about systems of oppression
about systems of oppression
502
1498280
3656
實際上我學到許多
有關系統性壓抑的事，
有關系統性壓抑的事，
25:13
and how they can be blind to one another
503
1501960
2456
還有他們彼此如何無視對方的存在，
25:16
by talking to black men.
504
1504440
1480
這是經由與黑人男士們
對談而學來的。
對談而學來的。
25:19
I was once talking
to a black man about gender
to a black man about gender
505
1507320
3176
我曾跟一位黑人男性
談論性別的問題，
談論性別的問題，
25:22
and he said to me,
506
1510520
1376
他問我：
25:23
"Why do you have to say
'my experience as a woman'?
'my experience as a woman'?
507
1511920
3456
「妳為什麼一定要說『身為女人的經歷』？
25:27
Why can't it be
508
1515400
1216
為什麼不說妳『身為人類的經驗』？」
25:28
'your experience as a human being'?"
509
1516640
1880
25:31
Now, this was the same man
510
1519840
1256
現在說這話的人
25:33
who would often talk
about his experience as a black man.
about his experience as a black man.
511
1521120
3000
常提到自己身為黑人男人的事。
25:39
Gender matters.
512
1527360
1216
性別有差異的！
25:40
Men and women
experience the world differently.
experience the world differently.
513
1528600
2496
男人與女人對世界的體認是不同的。
25:43
Gender colors the way
we experience the world.
we experience the world.
514
1531120
2816
性別讓我們使用有色眼光去看世界。
25:45
But we can change that.
515
1533960
1400
但是我們可以改變。
25:48
Some people will say,
516
1536520
1936
有人會說：
25:50
"Oh, but women have the real power,
517
1538480
2456
「但是女人有真正的力量，
25:52
bottom power."
518
1540960
1776
屁股的力量。」
25:54
And for non-Nigerians,
bottom power is an expression
bottom power is an expression
519
1542760
2896
我來解釋一下，
以奈及利亞的語言來表達，
以奈及利亞的語言來表達，
25:57
which I suppose means
something like a woman
something like a woman
520
1545680
1856
「屁股力量」有點像
女人利用她的魅力
女人利用她的魅力
25:59
who uses her sexuality
to get favors from men.
to get favors from men.
521
1547560
2760
吸引並從男人身上牟取利益的意思。
26:03
But bottom power is not power at all.
522
1551200
2720
但是屁股力量根本不是什麼力量。
26:08
Bottom power means that a woman
523
1556400
2776
屁股力量只是意味著一個女人
26:11
simply has a good root to tap into,
from time to time --
from time to time --
524
1559200
2896
有時候有借助別人力量的基礎而已。
26:14
somebody else's power.
525
1562120
1440
26:16
And then, of course, we have to wonder
526
1564640
1856
然後，我們一定會好奇，
26:18
what happens when
that somebody else is in a bad mood,
that somebody else is in a bad mood,
527
1566520
2656
如果那個人情緒很差、
26:21
or sick
528
1569200
1376
生病，或是無能，會怎樣？
26:22
or impotent.
529
1570600
1200
26:24
(Laughter)
530
1572280
3416
（笑聲）
26:27
Some people will say that a woman
being subordinate to a man is our culture.
being subordinate to a man is our culture.
531
1575720
6240
有人說女人屈服於男人
是我們的文化。
是我們的文化。
26:34
But culture is constantly changing.
532
1582640
1976
但是文化是不斷地改變的。
26:36
I have beautiful twin nieces
who are fifteen and live in Lagos.
who are fifteen and live in Lagos.
533
1584640
4656
我有兩個芳齡十五，美麗的
雙胞胎侄女住在拉哥斯。
雙胞胎侄女住在拉哥斯。
26:41
If they had been born a hundred years ago
534
1589320
1960
如果她倆出生在一百年之前，
她們會被帶走並被殺掉。
26:44
they would have been
taken away and killed.
taken away and killed.
535
1592000
2136
26:46
Because it was our culture,
it was our culture to kill twins.
it was our culture to kill twins.
536
1594160
3040
因為過去那是我們的文化，
殺死雙胞胎是我們過去的文化。
殺死雙胞胎是我們過去的文化。
26:51
So what is the point of culture?
537
1599040
1720
那麼文化的重點在哪裡呢？
26:53
I mean there's the decorative,
538
1601480
1576
文化有很多的裝飾性，
26:55
the dancing ...
539
1603080
1616
像是各種的舞蹈等等。
26:56
but also, culture really is about
preservation and continuity of a people.
preservation and continuity of a people.
540
1604720
4616
但此同時，
文化真正的意義是保護人和傳承。
27:01
In my family,
541
1609360
1256
我是家中最有興趣聽人述說
27:02
I am the child who is most interested
in the story of who we are,
in the story of who we are,
542
1610640
3176
關於我們是誰、關於傳統，
27:05
in our traditions,
543
1613840
1256
還有祖傳有關這片土地的知識。
27:07
in the knowledge about ancestral lands.
544
1615120
2176
27:09
My brothers are not as interested as I am.
545
1617320
2576
我的兄弟不像我那麼有興趣。
可是我不能參與，
27:11
But I cannot participate,
546
1619920
1440
27:14
I cannot go to umunna meetings,
547
1622200
2016
我不能參加族人會議，
我也無權發言。
27:16
I cannot have a say.
548
1624240
1736
因為我是女性。
27:18
Because I'm female.
549
1626000
1200
27:20
Culture does not make people,
550
1628080
2096
文化不會製造出人，
27:22
people make culture.
551
1630200
1400
人類創造文化。
27:24
So if it is in fact true --
552
1632920
1776
所以實際上真的是這樣，
27:26
(Applause)
553
1634720
3496
（掌聲）
27:30
So if it is in fact true
554
1638240
1616
所以如果實際上真的是
女性的完整人權不屬於我們的文化，
27:31
that the full humanity of women
is not our culture,
is not our culture,
555
1639880
2896
那我們就必須把它變成我們的文化。
27:34
then we must make it our culture.
556
1642800
1720
我常常想起我的朋友
奧克拉荷馬．瑪督韋希。
奧克拉荷馬．瑪督韋希。
27:38
I think very often of my dear friend,
Okoloma Maduewesi.
Okoloma Maduewesi.
557
1646040
5616
27:43
May he and all the others
who passed away in that Sosoliso crash
who passed away in that Sosoliso crash
558
1651680
3976
祝福他和其他所有在
索索利索空難中逝去的人，
索索利索空難中逝去的人，
27:47
continue to rest in peace.
559
1655680
1480
繼續得到安息。
27:50
He will always be remembered
by those of us who loved him.
by those of us who loved him.
560
1658400
3080
他永遠會被愛他的人懷念著。
他在幾年前的那一天是對的，
27:54
And he was right that day many years ago
when he called me a feminist.
when he called me a feminist.
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當時他第一次說我是女權主義者。
27:59
I am a feminist.
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我是一個女權主義者。
28:01
And when I looked up the word
in the dictionary that day,
in the dictionary that day,
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那天我打開字典查閱這個字的時候，
28:04
this is what it said:
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字典裡這麼寫道：
28:05
"Feminist: a person
who believes in the social, political
who believes in the social, political
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「女權主義者：
一個相信在社會、政治
28:08
and economic equality of the sexes."
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和經濟上，性別生而平等的人。」
28:12
My great grandmother,
from the stories I've heard,
from the stories I've heard,
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在我聽到的故事裡，我的曾祖母
28:15
was a feminist.
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是位女權主義者。
28:17
She ran away from the house of the man
she did not want to marry
she did not want to marry
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她逃離不想嫁的那個男人的家，
最終與自己選擇的男人結婚。
28:20
and ended up marrying
the man of her choice.
the man of her choice.
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28:23
She refused, she protested, she spoke up
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她拒絕、她抗議、她挺身而出，
每當她的土地權利被剝奪
28:26
whenever she felt she was being deprived
of access, of land, that sort of thing.
of access, of land, that sort of thing.
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或發生類似情形時，她都是如此。
28:31
My great grandmother
did not know that word "feminist,"
did not know that word "feminist,"
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我的曾祖母不曉得
「女權主義者」這個名詞，
「女權主義者」這個名詞，
28:34
but it doesn't mean that she wasn't one.
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但是那不代表她不是女權主義者。
28:38
More of us should reclaim that word.
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更多人應該再度主張這個詞彙。
28:42
My own definition of feminist is:
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我個人對女權主義的定義是：
28:45
"A feminist is a man or a woman
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「女權主義者是個男人或女人，
主張
28:47
who says --
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（笑聲）
28:49
(Laughter)
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28:52
(Applause)
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（掌聲）
28:58
A feminist is a man or a woman who says,
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「女權主義者是那些勇於說出：
『是的，當今社會性別問題依然存在，
29:01
"Yes, there's a problem
with gender as it is today,
with gender as it is today,
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而且我們必須糾正它，
29:05
and we must fix it.
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29:06
We must do better."
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我們必須做得更好』的男人或女人」。
29:09
The best feminist I know
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我所認識最優秀的女權主義者
29:12
is my brother Kene.
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是我的哥哥肯尼。
29:14
He's also a kind,
good-looking, lovely man,
good-looking, lovely man,
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他也是個和善、瀟灑、可愛的男人，
而且他非常有男子氣概。
29:18
and he's very masculine.
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29:21
Thank you.
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謝謝。
29:22
(Applause)
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（掌聲）
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - NovelistInspired by Nigerian history and tragedies all but forgotten by recent generations of westerners, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s novels and stories are jewels in the crown of diasporan literature.
Why you should listen
In Nigeria, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's novel Half of a Yellow Sun has helped inspire new, cross-generational communication about the Biafran war. In this and in her other works, she seeks to instill dignity into the finest details of each character, whether poor, middle class or rich, exposing along the way the deep scars of colonialism in the African landscape.
Adichie's newest book, The Thing Around Your Neck, is a brilliant collection of stories about Nigerians struggling to cope with a corrupted context in their home country, and about the Nigerian immigrant experience.
Adichie builds on the literary tradition of Igbo literary giant Chinua Achebe—and when she found out that Achebe liked Half of a Yellow Sun, she says she cried for a whole day. What he said about her rings true: “We do not usually associate wisdom with beginners, but here is a new writer endowed with the gift of ancient storytellers.”
(Photo: Wani Olatunde)
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie | Speaker | TED.com