TED@State Street London
Morgana Bailey: The danger of hiding who you are
Morgana Bailey: Faren ved at skjule hvem du er
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Morgana Bailey har skjult hvem hun var i 16 år. I et modigt oplæg udtaler hun tre ord, der måske for nogle ikke virker som noget særligt, men for hende har været lammende. Men hvorfor udtaler hun dem nu? Fordi hun har indset, at hendes tavshed har personlige, professionelle og samfundsmæssige konsekvenser. Foran et publikum bestående at hendes kolleger, reflekterer hun over hvad det vil sige at frygte andres fordømmelse, og hvad der får os til at dømme os selv.
Morgana Bailey - Human resources professional
A human resources activist, Morgana Bailey wants to see the diversity of society reflected in the workplace, and employees of all walks of life feel comfortable being open about who they are. Full bio
A human resources activist, Morgana Bailey wants to see the diversity of society reflected in the workplace, and employees of all walks of life feel comfortable being open about who they are. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:13
When I was young,
I prided myself as a nonconformist
I prided myself as a nonconformist
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Som ung var jeg stolt af at være individualist
00:17
in the conservative
U.S. state I live in, Kansas.
U.S. state I live in, Kansas.
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i den konservative stat i U.S.A. hvor jeg bor - Kansas.
00:22
I didn't follow along with the crowd.
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Jeg gik mine egne veje.
00:24
I wasn't afraid to try
weird clothing trends or hairstyles.
weird clothing trends or hairstyles.
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Var ikke bange for at prøve anderledes tøj eller frisurer
00:28
I was outspoken and extremely social.
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Jeg sagde min mening og var ekstremt social.
00:31
Even these pictures and postcards
of my London semester abroad 16 years ago
of my London semester abroad 16 years ago
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Selv billederne og postkortene
fra mit semester i London, for 16 år siden,
fra mit semester i London, for 16 år siden,
00:38
show that I obviously didn't care
if I was perceived as weird or different.
if I was perceived as weird or different.
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viser at jeg tydeligvis var ligeglad med
at blive opfattet som underlig eller anderledes.
at blive opfattet som underlig eller anderledes.
00:44
(Laughter)
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(Publikum ler)
00:46
But that same year
I was in London, 16 years ago,
I was in London, 16 years ago,
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Men samme år
som jeg var i London, for 16 år siden,
som jeg var i London, for 16 år siden,
00:51
I realized something about myself
that actually was somewhat unique,
that actually was somewhat unique,
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opdagede jeg noget om mig selv
som faktisk var unikt på en måde,
som faktisk var unikt på en måde,
00:56
and that changed everything.
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og det forandrede alt.
01:01
I became the opposite
of who I thought I once was.
of who I thought I once was.
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Jeg blev til den modsatte
af den, jeg engang troede, jeg var.
af den, jeg engang troede, jeg var.
01:05
I stayed in my room
instead of socializing.
instead of socializing.
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Jeg holdt mig på mit værelse
istedet for at være social.
istedet for at være social.
01:08
I stopped engaging in clubs
and leadership activities.
and leadership activities.
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Jeg droppede klubber
og lederskabsaktiviteter.
og lederskabsaktiviteter.
01:12
I didn't want to stand out
in the crowd anymore.
in the crowd anymore.
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Jeg ville ikke længere skille mig ud
fra de andre.
fra de andre.
01:16
I told myself it was because
I was growing up and maturing,
I was growing up and maturing,
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Jeg sagde til mig selv, at det var fordi
jeg var ved at blive voksen og mere moden,
jeg var ved at blive voksen og mere moden,
01:20
not that I was suddenly
looking for acceptance.
looking for acceptance.
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ikke at jeg pludselig
søgte andres accept.
søgte andres accept.
01:23
I had always assumed I was immune
to needing acceptance.
to needing acceptance.
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Jeg havde altid forudsat at jeg ikke
havde brug for andres accept.
havde brug for andres accept.
01:26
After all, I was a bit unconventional.
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Når det kom til stykket,
var jeg jo lidt ukonventionel
var jeg jo lidt ukonventionel
01:29
But I realize now
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Men nu ser jeg
01:31
that the moment I realized
something was different about me
something was different about me
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at det øjeblik jeg indså
jeg var anderledes
jeg var anderledes
01:35
was the exact same moment
that I began conforming and hiding.
that I began conforming and hiding.
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var samme øjeblik
hvor jeg begyndte at tilpasse og gemme mig.
hvor jeg begyndte at tilpasse og gemme mig.
01:41
Hiding is a progressive habit,
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At gemme sig er en langsomt voksende vane,
01:44
and once you start hiding,
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ligeså snart du begynder at gemme dig
01:45
it becomes harder and harder
to step forward and speak out.
to step forward and speak out.
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bliver det sværere og sværere,
at træde frem og sige din mening.
at træde frem og sige din mening.
01:51
In fact, even now,
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Selv nu,
01:53
when I was talking to people
about what this talk was about,
about what this talk was about,
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da jeg talte med folk om mit oplæg
01:57
I made up a cover story
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fandt jeg på en dækhistorie
01:59
and I even hid the truth
about my TED Talk.
about my TED Talk.
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og skjulte sandheden
om mit TED-oplæg.
om mit TED-oplæg.
02:04
So it is fitting and scary
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Så det er passende og skræmmende
02:09
that I have returned
to this city 16 years later
to this city 16 years later
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at jeg efter 16 år
er vendt tilbage til denne by
er vendt tilbage til denne by
02:13
and I have chosen this stage
to finally stop hiding.
to finally stop hiding.
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og at jeg har valgt netop denne scene,
til endelig at holde op med at gemme mig.
til endelig at holde op med at gemme mig.
02:20
What have I been hiding
for 16 years?
for 16 years?
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Hvad er det så jeg har skjult i 16 år?
02:26
I am a lesbian.
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Jeg er lesbisk.
02:29
(Applause)
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(Publikum klapper)
02:45
Thank you.
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Tak.
02:48
I've struggled to say those words,
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Jeg har kæmpet for at kunne sige de ord,
02:50
because I didn't want
to be defined by them.
to be defined by them.
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fordi jeg ikke ville defineres af dem.
02:53
Every time I would think
about coming out in the past,
about coming out in the past,
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Førhen når jeg tænkte på at springe ud,
02:56
I would think to myself,
but I just want to be known as Morgana,
but I just want to be known as Morgana,
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sagde jeg til mig selv,
"Jeg vil jo bare være kendt som Morgana",
"Jeg vil jo bare være kendt som Morgana",
03:01
uniquely Morgana,
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kun Morgana,
03:03
but not "my lesbian friend Morgana,"
or "my gay coworker Morgana."
or "my gay coworker Morgana."
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ikke som "min lesbiske ven Morgana",
eller "min homoseksuelle kollega Morgana".
eller "min homoseksuelle kollega Morgana".
03:08
Just Morgana.
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Bare Morgana.
03:10
For those of you from large
metropolitan areas,
metropolitan areas,
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For de af jer der bor i storbyområder,
03:14
this may not seem like a big deal to you.
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virker det måske som en detalje.
03:16
It may seem strange
that I have suppressed the truth
that I have suppressed the truth
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Det virker måske mærkeligt
at jeg har skjult sandheden,
at jeg har skjult sandheden,
03:19
and hidden this for so long.
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og holdt det hemmeligt i så lang tid.
03:23
But I was paralyzed by my fear
of not being accepted.
of not being accepted.
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Men jeg var lammet af angsten for
ikke at blive accepteret.
ikke at blive accepteret.
03:28
And I'm not alone, of course.
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Og det er jeg selvfølgelig ikke ene om.
03:31
A 2013 Deloitte study found
that a surprisingly large number of people
that a surprisingly large number of people
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En undersøgelse lavet af Deloitte i 2013,
viste at et overraskende stort antal mennesker
viste at et overraskende stort antal mennesker
03:36
hide aspects of their identity.
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skjuler dele af deres identitet.
03:39
Of all the employees they surveyed,
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Af alle de ansatte de spurgte,
03:41
61 percent reported changing an aspect
of their behavior or their appearance
of their behavior or their appearance
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svarede 61 procent at de ændrede dele
af deres opførsel eller udseende
af deres opførsel eller udseende
03:47
in order to fit in at work.
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for at passe ind på jobbet.
03:49
Of all the gay, lesbian
and bisexual employees,
and bisexual employees,
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Af de homo- eller biseksuelle ansatte,
03:54
83 percent admitted to changing
some aspects of themselves
some aspects of themselves
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indrømmede 83 procent
at de ændrede dele af sig selv
at de ændrede dele af sig selv
03:59
so they would not
appear at work "too gay."
appear at work "too gay."
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så de ikke fremstod "for homoseksuelle".
04:04
The study found that even in companies
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Undersøgelsen påpegede at selv i firmaer
04:07
with diversity policies
and inclusion programs,
and inclusion programs,
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med politikker for forskellighed
og programmer for inklusion,
og programmer for inklusion,
04:11
employees struggle
to be themselves at work
to be themselves at work
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kæmpede ansatte
med at være sig selv på jobbet
med at være sig selv på jobbet
04:14
because they believe
conformity is critical
conformity is critical
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fordi de mener
at ensartethed er nøglen
at ensartethed er nøglen
04:16
to their long-term career advancement.
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til muligheden for at fremme deres karriere.
04:20
And while I was surprised
that so many people just like me
that so many people just like me
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Selvom det kom bag på mig
at så mange præcis som mig
at så mange præcis som mig
04:25
waste so much energy
trying to hide themselves,
trying to hide themselves,
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spilder så meget energi
på at gemme sig selv,
på at gemme sig selv,
04:29
I was scared when I discovered
that my silence
that my silence
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så skræmte det mig
da jeg opdagede at min tavshed
da jeg opdagede at min tavshed
04:33
has life-or-death consequences
and long-term social repercussions.
and long-term social repercussions.
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har livstidskonsekvenser
og sociale følgevirkninger på langt sigt.
og sociale følgevirkninger på langt sigt.
04:41
Twelve years:
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Tolv år:
04:43
the length by which
life expectancy is shortened
life expectancy is shortened
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Det antal år,
som den forventede levealder forkortes
som den forventede levealder forkortes
04:46
for gay, lesbian and bisexual people
in highly anti-gay communities
in highly anti-gay communities
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for homo- og biseksuelle personer,
i stærkt anti-homo og biseksuelle samfund
i stærkt anti-homo og biseksuelle samfund
04:53
compared to accepting communities.
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sammenlignet med accepterende samfund.
04:56
Twelve years reduced life expectancy.
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Tolv års forkortet levetid.
05:01
When I read that in The Advocate
magazine this year,
magazine this year,
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Da jeg læste det
i magasinet The Advocate i år,
i magasinet The Advocate i år,
05:04
I realized I could no longer
afford to keep silent.
afford to keep silent.
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indså jeg at jeg ikke længere havde råd
til at være tavs.
til at være tavs.
05:08
The effects of personal stress and
social stigmas are a deadly combination.
social stigmas are a deadly combination.
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Effekterne af personlig stress og social
stigmatisering er en dødelig blanding.
stigmatisering er en dødelig blanding.
05:16
The study found that gays
in anti-gay communities
in anti-gay communities
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Undersøgelsen viste at homoseksuelle
i homoseksuelt-fjentlige samfund
i homoseksuelt-fjentlige samfund
05:19
had higher rates of heart disease,
violence and suicide.
violence and suicide.
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oftere var udsat for hjertesygdomme,
vold og selvmord.
vold og selvmord.
05:25
What I once thought
was simply a personal matter
was simply a personal matter
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Det jeg engang troede kun
var en personlig sag
var en personlig sag
05:29
I realized had a ripple effect
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indså jeg var langt mere vidtrækkende
05:31
that went into the workplace
and out into the community
and out into the community
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med betydning for arbejdspladser
og for samfundet
og for samfundet
05:33
for every story just like mine.
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for hver historie som min.
05:37
My choice to hide
and not share who I really am
and not share who I really am
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At jeg valgte at skjule
og ikke vise hvem jeg virkelig er
og ikke vise hvem jeg virkelig er
05:41
may have inadvertently contributed
to this exact same environment
to this exact same environment
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kan uforvarende have bidraget til
præcis dette miljø
præcis dette miljø
05:45
and atmosphere of discrimination.
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til en diskriminerende atmosfære.
05:48
I'd always told myself
there's no reason to share that I was gay,
there's no reason to share that I was gay,
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Jeg sagde altid til mig selv,
at der ikke var grund til at dele at jeg var lesbisk,
at der ikke var grund til at dele at jeg var lesbisk,
05:53
but the idea that my silence
has social consequences
has social consequences
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men at min tavshed
kan have sociale konsekvenser
kan have sociale konsekvenser
05:57
was really driven home this year
when I missed an opportunity
when I missed an opportunity
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blev tydeligt i år
da jeg missede en mulighed
da jeg missede en mulighed
06:02
to change the atmosphere of discrimination
in my own home state of Kansas.
in my own home state of Kansas.
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for at ændre på den diskriminerende atmosfære
i min hjemstat Kansas.
i min hjemstat Kansas.
06:08
In February, the Kansas House of
Representatives brought up a bill for vote
Representatives brought up a bill for vote
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I februar, fremlagde Repræsentanternes Hus
i Kansas et lovforslag til afstemning
i Kansas et lovforslag til afstemning
06:13
that would have essentially
allowed businesses
allowed businesses
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som i bund og grund
ville tillade firmaer
ville tillade firmaer
06:16
to use religious freedom as a reason
to deny gays services.
to deny gays services.
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at nægte homoseksuelle tjenester
på basis af retten til religiøs frihed
på basis af retten til religiøs frihed
06:25
A former coworker and friend of mine
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En tidligere kollega og ven
06:28
has a father who serves
in the Kansas House of Representatives.
in the Kansas House of Representatives.
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har en far der sidder i Repræsentanternes Hus i Kansas.
06:33
He voted in favor of the bill,
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Han stemte for vedtagelse af loven,
06:38
in favor of a law that would allow
businesses to not serve me.
businesses to not serve me.
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til fordel for en lov der ville tillade
virksomheder ikke at yde mig tjenester.
virksomheder ikke at yde mig tjenester.
06:46
How does my friend feel
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Hvilken mening har min ven
06:48
about lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender,
queer and questioning people?
queer and questioning people?
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om lesbiske, bøsser, biseksuelle og transkønnede,
queer og spørgende personer?
queer og spørgende personer?
06:53
How does her father feel?
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Og hvad mener hendes far?
06:56
I don't know, because I was never honest
with them about who I am.
with them about who I am.
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Det ved jeg ikke, for jeg var aldrig åben
overfor dem om hvem jeg er.
overfor dem om hvem jeg er.
07:02
And that shakes me to the core.
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Og det ryster mig i min grundvold.
07:05
What if I had told her my story years ago?
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Hvad hvis jeg for længe siden
havde fortalt hende min historie?
havde fortalt hende min historie?
07:09
Could she have told
her father my experience?
her father my experience?
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Kunne hun så havde fortalt sin far
om mine oplevelser?
om mine oplevelser?
07:11
Could I have ultimately
helped change his vote?
helped change his vote?
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Kunne jeg derved havde været med
til at ændre hans stemme?
til at ændre hans stemme?
07:16
I will never know,
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Det finde jeg aldrig ud af,
07:19
and that made me realize
I had done nothing
I had done nothing
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og det fik mig til at indse,
at jeg intet havde gjort
at jeg intet havde gjort
07:23
to try to make a difference.
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for at prøve at gøre en forskel.
07:27
How ironic that I work
in human resources,
in human resources,
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Det er dybt ironisk: Jeg arbejder med HR
07:31
a profession that works to welcome,
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en profession med fokus på at byde velkommen,
07:33
connect and encourage
the development of employees,
the development of employees,
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forbinde og opmuntre de ansattes udvikling,
07:37
a profession that advocates
that the diversity of society
that the diversity of society
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en profession der arbejder for
at mangfoldigheden i samfundet
at mangfoldigheden i samfundet
07:40
should be reflected in the workplace,
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reflekteres på arbejdspladsen,
07:43
and yet I have done nothing
to advocate for diversity.
to advocate for diversity.
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og alligevel har jeg intet gjort
for at fremme mangfoldighed.
for at fremme mangfoldighed.
07:48
When I came to this company one year ago,
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Da jeg startede i dette firma, for et år siden,
07:51
I thought to myself, this company
has anti-discrimination policies
has anti-discrimination policies
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tænkte jeg, at dette firma
har anti-diskriminations politikker
har anti-diskriminations politikker
07:56
that protect gay, lesbian,
bisexual and transgender people.
bisexual and transgender people.
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som beskytter bøsser, lesbiske,
biseksuelle og trans-seksuelle personer.
biseksuelle og trans-seksuelle personer.
08:00
Their commitment to diversity is evident
through their global inclusion programs.
through their global inclusion programs.
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Deres forpligtelse til mangfoldighed
er tydelig i deres globale inklusionsprogrammer.
er tydelig i deres globale inklusionsprogrammer.
08:06
When I walk through the doors
of this company, I will finally come out.
of this company, I will finally come out.
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Når jeg går gennem indgangen til dette firma
vil jeg endelig stå frem.
vil jeg endelig stå frem.
08:12
But I didn't.
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Men det gjorde jeg ikke.
08:14
Instead of taking advantage
of the opportunity,
of the opportunity,
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Istedet for at udnytte muligheden,
08:18
I did nothing.
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gjorde jeg ingenting.
08:31
(Applause)
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(Publikum klapper)
08:39
When I was looking through
my London journal and scrapbook
my London journal and scrapbook
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Da jeg kiggede igennem
min dagbog og scrapbog fra London
min dagbog og scrapbog fra London
08:43
from my London semester
abroad 16 years ago,
abroad 16 years ago,
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fra mit semester udenlands i London,
for 16 år siden,
for 16 år siden,
08:46
I came across this modified quote
from Toni Morrison's book, "Paradise."
from Toni Morrison's book, "Paradise."
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fandt jeg dette modificerede citat
fra Tony Morrisons bog "Paradis".
fra Tony Morrisons bog "Paradis".
08:53
"There are more scary things
inside than outside."
inside than outside."
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"Der er flere skræmmende ting
indenfor end udenfor".
indenfor end udenfor".
08:57
And then I wrote a note
to myself at the bottom:
to myself at the bottom:
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Og så havde jeg skrevet en note
til mig selv nederst:
til mig selv nederst:
09:01
"Remember this."
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"Husk det".
09:03
I'm sure I was trying to encourage myself
to get out and explore London,
to get out and explore London,
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Det var sikkert et forsøg på at opmuntre mig selv
til at komme ud og opdage London,
til at komme ud og opdage London,
09:08
but the message I missed was the need
to start exploring and embracing myself.
to start exploring and embracing myself.
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men beskeden jeg havde overset var behovet
for at begynde at udforske og acceptere mig selv.
for at begynde at udforske og acceptere mig selv.
09:15
What I didn't realize
until all these years later
until all these years later
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Hvad jeg først indså så mange år senere
09:19
is that the biggest obstacles
I will ever have to overcome
I will ever have to overcome
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er at de største forhindringer
jeg nogensinde kommer til at møde
jeg nogensinde kommer til at møde
09:24
are my own fears and insecurities.
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er min egen frygt og usikkerhed.
09:28
I believe that by facing my fears inside,
I will be able to change reality outside.
I will be able to change reality outside.
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Jeg tror på, at ved at møde min indre frygt,
vil jeg kunne ændre virkeligheden udenfor.
vil jeg kunne ændre virkeligheden udenfor.
09:37
I made a choice today
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Jeg traf et valg i dag,
09:39
to reveal a part of myself
that I have hidden for too long.
that I have hidden for too long.
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at afsløre en del af mig selv
som har været skjult alt for længe.
som har været skjult alt for længe.
09:46
I hope that this means
I will never hide again,
I will never hide again,
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jeg håber det betyder
at jeg aldrig behøver gemme mig igen,
at jeg aldrig behøver gemme mig igen,
09:50
and I hope that by coming out today,
I can do something to change the data
I can do something to change the data
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og jeg håber, at ved at stå frem i dag,
at jeg kan bidrage til at ændre på tallene
at jeg kan bidrage til at ændre på tallene
09:57
and also to help others who feel different
be more themselves and more fulfilled
be more themselves and more fulfilled
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og hjælpe andre der føler sig anderledes
til at være mere dem selv og mere tilfredse
til at være mere dem selv og mere tilfredse
10:03
in both their professional
and personal lives.
and personal lives.
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både i deres arbejds- og privatliv.
10:08
Thank you.
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Tak skal I have.
10:11
(Applause)
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(Publikum klapper)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Morgana Bailey - Human resources professionalA human resources activist, Morgana Bailey wants to see the diversity of society reflected in the workplace, and employees of all walks of life feel comfortable being open about who they are.
Why you should listen
“I am in human resources, a profession that works to welcome, connect and encourage the development of employees,” says Morgana Bailey. At State Street, she directs the Global Human Resources data management team, which maintains data records for the company’s approximately 29,000 employees. Morgana collaborates with people across State Street as corporate policies, regulatory requirements and related employee data requirements continually evolve. Her career experiences have confirmed that the only constant is change, and one’s ability — or inability — to adapt can generate profound long-term outcomes.
At TED@StateStreet, Morgana Bailey revealed a part of herself that she had kept supressed for 16 years. She hopes that her openness will inspire others to stop hiding, and be open about who they are in both their personal and professional lives.
Morgana Bailey | Speaker | TED.com